Meanwhile, Morgana was beside herself with rage and exhaustion. She was so sure it would work this time. She had already seen herself on the throne because either Arthur or Gwen had to be dead, or both. However, she could not say when she realized that the curse missed its target after all. To amplify the poison by such a curse had been only a small thing for her. It was much more difficult to hide the other curse underneath and to activate it finally only later, when the curse had bound itself to a person. But something must have gone wrong again. She had noticed how the curse had actively bound itself to a life. The activation had cost her a very large amount of energy. But much worse was the energy needed to maintain the curse. However, she never expected that this part of her plan would be so exhausting. Morgana was on the verge of solving the curse herself, as not much would have been left and she would have collapsed from weakness - or worse. She was absolutely sure that Emrys had his fingers in the pie again. Who else was able to stand against her magic and seemingly dominate? This thought almost drove her insane. No matter what plan she had, they were all thwarted and she was absolutely sure that Emrys was to blame. How could it be otherwise? Her downfall was Emry's. She believed in this vision. Again and again she followed it in her sleep: How she lay exhausted or badly wounded on a battlefield and an old man with a long white beard asked her if it was worth it. She shivered at the thought of this nightmare.
A raven just came flying at her. She took the message off his leg and hastily tore open the small piece of parchment. She flew over the message and let it go up in flames in anger. Then she heard that Aithusa had probably woken up because of the noise. She had noticed that the Dragon Lady had been away longer than usual, but Morgana hadn't been able to take care of it, since her plan was just in the crucial phase. She walked sluggishly and trembling towards the Dragon Lady and slowly leaned against her neck. Morgana was too exhausted to notice that the Dragon Lady was trying to shut off her thoughts.
A short time later the High Priestess had fallen asleep and the Dragon Lady was watching her closely. Aithusa was glad that Morgana was apparently not happy and that her plan had failed. She felt bad about it, but she simply didn't understand Morgana's motivation to harm Arthur and Merlin. Besides, Morgana's touch felt rather cold and energy-consuming, whereas the touch of the Dragonlord was warm and invigorating. On the other hand, communication with Morgana was easier for her, at least most of the time. She often perceived a darkness in Morgana, from which she intuitively closed herself off and then no mental contact was possible for the time being. Aithusa was not sure what the next steps would be. She had to make a decision, which unfortunately she slowly realized, but she perceived the relationship to Morgana as the connection to Merlin, and one of the two would probably lose her sooner or later. She still had no idea which variant would be more painful. So she kept on thinking and noticing the cold that emanated from Morgana, but she didn't dare retreat from her.
Merlin was awakened by a whisper. He didn't feel as weak as he did when he first spoke with Tea. It was exactly her voice that had woken him. Only now did he realize that Tea had probably addressed him in his thoughts. Unfortunately, he could remember his dream much too well. By now he had almost gotten used to seeing Arthur die over and over again in his dreams. But it always took a moment to get the despair and anger under control and to remember that Arthur was still alive. Still' - exactly the word made Merlin sigh with resignation.
Mordred and Tea watched Merlin and heard his reaction. "A vision or a dream?" she asked curiously.
Since Merlin was not yet fully awake, he replied without thinking, "Yes, but a vision that resembles a nightmare.
"Tell me about it," she asked.
Merlin closed her eyes and spoke softly: "I don't remember for how many years I have been living this dream over and over again. It's exactly the same dream every time. I see like Arthur...," he faltered, opened his eyes, and looked not into Tea's face, but directly into Mordred's, and became as white as a sheet. "You!," he said.
"You see me in the dream, don't you?" Mordred asked, laboriously dominated.
Tea looked at Merlin and said softly, "Tell him.
Merlin shook his head and pressed his lips together.
"Tell me Merlin! That is the reason why you distrust me, am I right? You saw a vision and you think you understand it and because of this vision you hate me," exclaimed Mordred.
"I think I understand it?," Merlin almost shouted. He just couldn't hold on to himself anymore and the anger and despair broke through. "I dream again and again of you piercing Arthur with a deadly sword at the Battle of Camlann. Tell me what I should misunderstand about this and above all, how can I prevent this vision? You wouldn't believe how many times I've been advised not to save you or Morgana, or even kill you both. I just couldn't believe that Morgana would turn evil. Neither could I believe this with a little Druid boy. Even the following words of Kilgharrah 'The ancient prophecies speak of an alliance between Mordred and Morgana, united in evil' could not convince me. I do not need to tell you how much Morgana has changed and that she is evil now. I didn't want to admit it at first. Whether it was a fake smile or the joy in her eyes when Arthur or Gwen suffered I didn't want to see it - I just didn't want to believe that Morgana, who possesses magic and therefore was in a similar situation as me, decided to act with all her might, even dark magic, against her own half-brother and wish him death or worse. She was my friend. I saved her not only once. Nonetheless, not only once did I have the chance to prevent Arthur's curse, but I couldn't let her die then. I simply could not. Do you know how much suffering or death she has brought upon Camelot since then? How many lives have been lost? How many have suffered as a result? Suffered because I wouldn't listen, because I was mentally too weak. I have been warned so many times that Morgana is turning to evil and that this alliance between you and Morgana is Arthur's downfall. Tell me, Mordred, what shall I do with this vision that will not let me go? Morgana was my friend - I couldn't let her die or kill her, but I had no idea what the price would be. I don't know if I would have decided differently or if I would be a different person now because of this decision, but what good are these Thoughts? I cannot change the past and still this 'would have' and this 'if' torments me. And yes, I have been unfair to you ever since, and have watched your every step carefully, so that I do not miss - as I did with Morgana - when the time comes when you apparently are no longer on Arthur's side. This may seem unfair to you, but I just didn't think at first that the prophecy could be true until Morgana fell more and more into darkness and despair. I know that Arthur trusts you, and I certainly won't tell him that you have magic and that there is a prophecy in which you inflict an absolutely deadly sword thrust on him and that he pierces you as well. Do you think it gives me satisfaction to see you die every time? How much do you think I am burdened by my possible inability to avert the vision? Believe me, I have tried to avert visions, and yet they have occurred exactly as I saw them, even though the situations were often different than I expected. Sometimes, by trying to prevent the vision, I have just made it possible! Every day I see you and you remind me of this damn nightmare. I can't deny that I have been toying with the idea of killing you for a short time, but maybe this very act is the reason why you ally yourself with Morgana. Besides, I just don't think I'm capable of murdering you behind your back, even though it might save many lives. You do not deserve to die. How could I? Instead of harming Arthur or betrayal, you stand behind him and protect him with your life. And still I see again the scene from the vision of Arthur recognizing you, hesitating because you were his friend and you use this weakness to ram a sword into his body. "Tell me, what shall I do with this knowledge?"
Mordred was upside down. He saw that tears had formed in Merlin's eyes and were running down his cheeks. Whether he was crying out of sadness, helplessness or anger, he could not tell. He did not know what to think. This prophecy explained Merlin's dismissive behavior, his doubts and mistrust. He could not imagine what event would cause him to turn against Arthur. And already his own doubts crept into his thoughts. Maybe Merlin was right and he was Arthur's downfall. Who knew what would happen in the future? Even if he couldn't imagine betraying Arthur now or even killing him himself, maybe Arthur deserved it. No, this thought was absurd. Arthur was sometimes an idiot, but he was just, fair and loyal. He cared about the well-being of his subjects. He questioned himself and was open to change. A perfect example was Mordred himself. He probably didn't have a drop of blue blood in his veins and yet he was a knight of Camelot. Also the choice of his wife said a lot about how Arthur felt about love, outdated traditions and gaining power. Arthur was not a tyrant like his father. He could have gained more power and land or at least one more ally with his marriage and still he married Gwen, the daughter of a blacksmith. Arthur did not deserve to die at all and his kingdom had the chance through him to make up for the injustice he had done to the sorcerers. He believed Merlin that the vision did not leave much room for interpretation. In simplistic terms, it was said that as long as he lived, he posed a deadly danger to Arthur. Did he want to be responsible for the death of his king or his friend? He could only lose, because his own death was also predicted in the vision. He drew his dagger and, lost in thought, stroked the blade. Actually, not much would change if he would not live anymore. Maybe the knights and certainly Arthur would mourn for him, but otherwise he was alone. He had fallen in love with a girl a long time ago, but he didn't even know if she was still alive. He stared at the dagger and did not really know how to sort the chaos in his mind. Merlin watched Mordred with a frown. It escaped his notice that Tea was sitting quietly in the corner the whole time, smiling contentedly. She twisted more curls in her hair with her finger. She seemed almost bored by the conversation, as if she already seemed to know it.
The movement as Mordred gripped the dagger tightly and aimed it at his own heart with a quick and powerful movement did not escape Merlin's attention. Without thinking about it further, Merlin's eyes glowed golden and the dagger from Mordred's hand and the sword at his hip flew towards Merlin and stopped just before him, allowing him to grab it easily. Merlin still stared in shock at the dagger in his hand and strengthened the grip, the other hand opening and Mordred's sword rattling to the ground.
Even Mordred could not take his eyes off Merlin as he stared at his dagger in his hand. Several minutes passed without anyone saying a word or making a move. Until Merlin suddenly struck the dagger handle several times against his forehead. The first blow may have been a feathery movement, but with each additional blow, the strength increased. Merlin didn't notice that his forehead had already cracked open and drops of blood were running into his eyebrows. Mordred was finally able to free himself from his paralysis, leaping up and this time wresting his dagger from Merlin's hands. Both young men looked into each other's eyes in confusion and neither could find words for the situation.
Tea, however, turned up her nose at the blood. She did not like blood. No, she really did not like that. She thought that she was no longer needed here and thought it was a good idea to look for Bronwen or maybe Arthur - she didn't really know that. "Don't think just because Bronwen is a healer that I'm going to bandage that," she said and pointed in disgust at Merlin's forehead. Thereupon she stalked out the door and left two speechless wizards behind.
Merlin was the first to find his voice again and whispered, "Why did I do that? It would be the guarantee that the vision would not come true, wouldn't it? But when I realized your intention, there was only one thing I could think, and that was 'NO'. Regardless of the possible consequences, your death seemed wrong to me." Merlin shook his head to clear it up. "I can't stop you anytime, but you should be able to think about this conversation in peace and sleep on it at least one night. Maybe you can think of a solution that does not involve your suicide or death. I am so tired of distrusting you. Maybe together we can save Arthur from this vision and if this decision is a mistake, I can't change it. I have no strength left. Even if I act with good intentions, this does not automatically guarantee me a good outcome, and I am well aware that trust can be a double-edged sword.
Many minutes passed before Mordred also found his voice again. "Thank you, Merlin. I thank you not only for having just saved me from a hasty action, but also for giving me a chance to prevent this vision from happening. Has it never occurred to you that I too feel the desire to fight off this vision," he asked Merlin reproachfully. He could only stare at Mordred in surprise and speechless.