Chapter 38

Steve's trip took an unexpected turn and he found himself at the house in the woods where Malina took refuge when Sofia was only a new-born. It was secluded and beautiful. He understood why Malina insisted that they had a good time there.

After their first conversation at the café, Steve and Amir went for lunch. Amir called his wife to inform her that he won't be coming home for the meal and, to his surprise, she was very supportive of him spending more time with Steve. So, Amir decided to make the best of it, he offered to take Steve around, and Steve was happy for the company, but there was only one place he wanted to see; the house in the woods. Amir agreed to take him, then asked if Steve wanted to see the flat where they live. Steve said that he would.

After lunch Amir took Steve to a small flat commonly referred to as 'at Sofia's'. In front of the building Steve met Lola, parked improperly yet without a ticket. Amir told him stories about the car, the kind of stories that Steve only half expected even though he was introduced to the topic. Lola was much more run down than Steve had imagined, but the stories made the old car seem alive and full of vigour. Amir laughed as he told them particularly about the time Malina tied the broken exhaust pipe with the laces from her boots. He said heard it from the mechanic.

Amir treated the flat as his own, walking in, going for the fridge, taking out as he pleased and making himself comfortable on the sofa in the living room. Steve felt equally comfortable, browsing around, looking at all the pictures, books, ornaments, but his attention was stuck on a drawing framed in the kitchen. It was the one Sofia told him about. The one where he was added later.

"You're not surrendering." Amir said. "You're waving with both hands." He laughed before adding. "I can get that part, but I have no idea why your head is so large. Look at them. They look normal. You look like a lollypop."

Steve laughed as well, happy that he was in the picture no matter how big his head turned out to be.

Sofia's room was perfectly organised and spotless. Steve smiled as he sent a telepathic message to his daughter that at his house, he doesn't mind if her room isn't like this. He felt it was enough for her to have one such disciplined house, no need for more.

Amir was happy to leave Steve alone in the flat, explaining to him how to get back to the hotel.

"Getting lost here is a challenge, but in case you accomplish the impossible task, just give me a call." Amir said before leaving to give his father a life. "If not, I'll meet you outside your hotel tomorrow at seven. Nedim and Dragan will follow later."

Steve spent the night there, in the small flat that felt like home, perhaps because it should have been his home or perhaps that's the way it just is with a place where your child lives. He went through all the albums, recordings, seeing a life he should have been a part of, from the school functions to a time Sofia was in the hospital. Steve couldn't understand why, but he assumed it was nothing serious.

Just before six, Steve had some food and left the flat, careful not to wake the elderly neighbour from across the hall just as Amir warned him.

"Malina cooks and Sofia takes a plate to the old woman daily. As a thank you, the old lady keeps an eye on this apartment. Nothing happens here without her knowing." Amir said before he left.

Steve walked back to the hotel without a problem, virtues of a small town. He grabbed a few things from his hotel room and made his way back to the car park to wait for Amir. Amir arrived at exactly seven with military precision.

The car ride lasted just over two hours. They swapped war stories, laughing at unlikely events that they experienced, as they slalomed up and down narrow mountain roads. At one point Amir turned off the road, drove between trees, before stopping his car at a foot of a slope. He turned the engine off, indicating they had arrived.

"The front line was about two kilometres that way." Amir said pointing into the horizon. "It was impossible for me to get to this house, yet I left all me guns here." He shook his head. "That's how much we believed that a war cannot happen in Bosnia."

As they made their way up the slope Amir said "Can you believe that she climbed this a week after she gave birth, carrying the baby under her blouse?"

Steve paused and looked at Amir. "This? Are you kidding?"

"No. This is the only way to reach the house. There is no other way. I get how she got a chicken there, but how the hell did she get a cow up there I will never know." Amir laughed shaking his head. "She said the cow came on her own." He looked at Steve, one eyebrow raised. "I'm guessing the cow had identity crisis and thought she was a goat."

Steve laughed as they came to a clearing and a small area of flat land with a little house coming out of the hillside.

"This spot here." Amir said pointing at the grass. "This is the spot where I was sure I was going to die. Buddy, I've been held at a gun point before, many times, but never in my life did I think I was going to die the way I thought that day. I thought I'd climb up here to find the house in ruins. I came up to find her, dressed in white… I had a box of bed sheets for the meat. She used that to make their clothes. So she stood, dressed more like a Greek goddess than a human, the kid peeping at me from behind her. She held my shotgun pointed at me, with that look in her eyes, the look that lets you know she will shoot. I know the gun she's got can put down a bear, so I'm on my knees, my hands locked behind my head, I don't know whether to speak to stay silent." Amir said laughing. "She tells me to show her my sleeve. I had my lucky army jacket on. That thing has never let me down, but that day, I was certain it will. I was already praying to God to have mercy on my soul and to look after my kids. I, reluctantly, very reluctantly, show her my sleeve and she lowers the gun. Then she asks who I am. I tell her my name and that this is my house. That's how we met."

Steve laughed imagining Malina dressed like a Greek goddess. It was a good look on her. When he saw the house he thought back to her words 'have you ever felt the presence of God'. Finding this house by accident had to involve divine intervention.

"When they were here, there were flowers nicely arranged all around." Amir said as he opened the door and started to take out the chairs from the house.

Steve went to give him a hand. They took out four deck chairs very similar to the ones he has in his back yard and placed them one next to another, in a line, facing the thick woods. Beyond the woods was a whole world, but right there, as if behind some natural curtain, was a little secluded spot invisible to the world.

Steve was itching to ask how Sofia was doing after the event, but it seemed like a question too intimate to ask a complete stranger. As they sat in front of that little house, in the quite woods, Amir was no longer a stranger. By all accounts, Amir was the father figure in his daughter's life before Steve even knew he had a daughter.

"I've been meaning to ask," Steve began, "how is Sofia? How did she take the…"

"Surprisingly good. I think it helped when she heard that the kidnaper was dead. She doesn't know…" Amir replied. "Honestly, I think there's something she's hiding. She keeps asking about Khalid and how is he, do I know if they caught him. Wait until you see her. I didn't want to ask anything because you just never know who might be listening, but I think she knows something."

Steve turned to face Amir "What?" He said.

"I know. I'm hoping that I'm wrong, but… The only person she'd tell is Hana. You'll meet her when you go to the UK." Amir said.

"I've hear about Hana." Steve replied.

"You know she's got eidetic memory?" Amir asked.

"No, I didn't know that." Steve replied.

"I don't think the girls get how big that kind of information is. But… Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, Sofia spent few hours with Khalid. How much could he tell her really? And I know she wouldn't have understood very much? So… It's probably nothing." Amir shook his head. He was trying to calm himself as much as he thought he was trying to calm Steve.

Steve thought for a moment and then said "You're right. How much could he have told her? I mean, the guy didn't want to admit he knew what happened."

"Really? Well, then it's settled. I got it all wrong. Maybe Khalid really doesn't know what happened." Amir said.

Steve was sure Khalid knew what happened, but he was also sure he didn't tell Sofia enough to put her in any danger.

"What happened to those trees there?" Steve asked pointing to a number of trees to the right of the house. The trees had strange markings and they were not as green as other trees.

"That's where Malina exercised. She kicked those trees." Amir replied.

"Inc… Including the broken one?" Steve stuttered.

"Yeah, yeah, she kicked that one right off. She said that she imagined each tree was an attacker and she practiced to kick as many as possible in one second. Then she practiced kicking harder and harder, until she broke that tree. And then she practiced with her hands tied behind her. You know, because if someone caught her, they'd tie… Yeah, you get it. So, in short, for years, all she did was clean, cook, take care of the garden, play with Sofia and kick those trees." Amir replied turning back to watch the clouds. "When people say she's got killer legs, in her case, they mean what they say." Amir laughed.

Steve thought back to his wounds as he watched the trees. "I only had bruises." He said.

"Yeah? Well, then it either wasn't her or she was being really nice." Amir replied glancing at the trees. "Really nice. I mean, that was really nice of her." Amir smiled.

Steve laughed relaxing back into the chair "I'll have to get her a thank you gift."

Amir also laughed and then said "I'm gona tell you a story. Sanela is the love of my life. We met in high school, went out for years, got married. When she had my first kid, the world was hers. Then she had my second kid and I didn't know what to give her. Then the war started. She was the one who saw me off to the front lines every time. Tough times came, we hardly had enough to eat, yet she always had this smile when I came home and… Without her, I wouldn't have made it. During the war she gives me another kid. I can't… Wait till you come home, fucked off with the world, you walk through your front door and your kids run to you, open arms, cheering like your coming home is the greatest thing that could happen to them. And then you see the woman who gave you that, smiling at you… I don't know how to explain to you how much she owned me. I knew it. She knew it. Three months after Aida was born, February 1994… Sanela… Sanela made a mistake. It doesn't matter what it was, it was big. I told her not do it, she had her reasons, it… Anyway. I was fuming. I get home in record time. I'm climbing three, four steps at a time. It's just before two in the morning, I open the door, she's standing there, clearly been crying, and my anger just vanishes. All I want to do is hold her, kiss her, tell her it's fine, that we'll sort it out. Of course, that's exactly what I do. Now… Correct me if I'm wrong, but does that sound like something you'd do?" Amir looks over at Steve.

Steve nods. "It does sound like something that could happen to me."

"Wrong! Very, very wrong my friend. What you want to do is stay calm, but use the moment to set some rules in your marriage. Marriage is a whole different ball game. Malina is one of these women. Malina is more of a man than many man I know. And in your marriage, you want to be the bigger man. She wants and needs you to be the bigger man. But this is a challenge because they set the standard. You're no longer comparing yourself to your buddies, you're comparing yourself to her. I'm sure that's what attracted me to Sanel in the first place. She made me want to be a bigger man than her, then I ever thought I could be. But, I was young. I have no idea what's your excuse." Amir laughed, and so did Steve. "My point is, you want to use these moments to set some rules that will help you. You need her to agree. Once she gives you her word, you're good to go. Now, there are two types of silences and by the look on her face you'll know if she's silent because she's angry, or because she feels guilty. If she's silent because she feels guilty, make the best of the opportunity. If she's angry, don't do anything. Just stay out of her way until she defuses." They both laughed again. "But when she's guilty, she might try to minimise the problem. In this case, you have to take it as an individual case. Be creative. But, if she doesn't speak, if she waits for you to speak, you're gold. You're good to go. Ask for what you want. You might not get that, but you will get far more than you would otherwise. She'll try to compromise, give in as little as you can, but you will have to give in. As I said, you'll end up with more than you would otherwise, so be happy with that. However! And this is really important, do not let her touch you. Many men will never admit, but… When we touch them they feel empowered, when they touch us we are fucked. It's a really simple rule. It might not make us look good, but this is a fact. And! Do not ever laugh. Once, they did something, I ask Sanela 'so how many laws did you break doing this'. She shakes her head, let's out 'uh' like she lost count." They both laugh again. "Exactly. She wasn't even trying to hide the fact that they broke laws all over the place. I couldn't even help but laugh. But with my laughter, there was no more tension, and I couldn't get her to feel guilty. We were left with the conclusion that what she did was alright." To Amir it seemed that Steve was in a deep and amusing thought. "So, are you sure you want to get into this?"

"Buddy, it's too late for me. The tide will take me where it'll take me." Steve said raising his bottle in the cheers manner.

Amir scratched his beard smiling "The world would be a very different place if these women were running it, I can tell you that much." Amir nodded taking a sip from his bottle. "They firmly believe that when someone takes a child, they are really asking to be executed. It's only fair that we do them a favour and execute them." Amir said, his eyebrows raised, looking at Steve's surprised face. "Also, they don't see why we, the men, get our panties in a twist because someone stole billions of dollars. Don't we know that billons are being stolen legally every day." Amir said in a squeaky voice as if he was imitating a woman. "And don't even get me started on their punishment for rapists… You know how rapists claim they couldn't control themselves. They really have to stop saying that. It is not helping us, men. It basically means that the thing we have has that kind of control over us, so if the thing is removed… You see where this is going."

"Oh my God! That's…" Steve said, look of disgust on his face.

"Don't worry, they wouldn't be barbaric about it. It's not like they'd take a sword and swing it. No, no. It would be done properly, in a hospital with…" Amir said smiling.

"Please stop." Steve smiled, laughing nervously just as Nedim and Dragan came up the slope and appeared through the woods.

For the next two days Steve found himself in company of men he wished he met sooner. They had so many similar experiences, understood each other so well, it was evidence like no other that humans are far more connected than divided.

It became evident almost instantly that Nedim thought women are perfect, that men have issues and that of all the women in the world, Vildana was the greatest. Since others just accepted this view, Steve couldn't see a reason to contradict it.

They spoke about all kinds of topics, but they always circled back to the topic of politics. In Bosnia it had a huge effect. Steve tried to make sense of it.

"So, let me get this straight, you guys were finally making progress, on the verge of liberating your country, and the politicians stopped you, with a peace agreement that gave power to the enemies of your country in the government?" Steve asked.

"Correct. And, the whole international community is confused why the country (and the region) is not moving forward." Nedim replied.

Draga shook his head angrily "We'd gladly fuck their stupid brains out, but they don't have any, so even that idea is out of the window."

International community continues to have power in Bosnia. It was impossible for Steve to imagine why they were not doing more.

"Did you tell him how much Malina cried when she learned they took our flag and gave us that crap?" Dragan asked Amir. Amir shook his head. "Dude, she didn't even know the war was over. Amir drove her to Zenica and she notice the new flag, so she asked what that was. Amir told her that that was our new flag and that lilies were no longer officially the symbol of Bosnia. She cried for days. When I met her she was still furious about it. I think she's still pissed about it."

The more Steve heard about the situation in Bosnia the more he felt angry and confused. He agreed that lobbying should be forbidden except to citizen activist who lobby for free.

At the end of the trip Amir gave Steve all the things he'll need in the UK; the address, the map, the list and the plan. Sofia and Hana will wait for him at the airport since Malina's flight is leaving only an hour before Amir's flight was scheduled to arrive, and airports are a safe place for two girls who were not yet connected to their friends and relatives. Steve checked the list of things Malina told Amir to do for the girls to make sure they are safe and well. There was only one thing he could add: money. Otherwise, he had ideas for an even safer lock and phones, but he decided to finalise his decisions once he gets there and sees the situation.