"Manon!" Elide scrambled to the fire a few hours later to interrupt Asterin and Manon's conversion breathlessly. "Manon! I have to leave."
Manon blinked. "What?"
Asterin snorted, "Elide you can't leave the coven. You live to dawn."
"I have to," Elide said. "I need to go to Doranelle."
Manon glared at Elide, "That is two mountain ranges and an ocean away. We are only days away from an assumed Crochan hold-out. Why do you want to go to Doranelle?"
"I-" Elide's eyes found Asterin's.
Asterin swore, "Are you serious?" Elide only swallowed and Asterin pushed, "It's that dire?" Elide nodded, pale. Asterin swore again, "Of all my stupid ideas-"
"What is it?" Manon looked ready to kill them both.
"I told Elide she should see if she could use her powers to check on her fae," Asterin said sheepishly.
"Why?" Manon growelled. When Asterin only shrugged Manon skewered Elide with her gaze.
"He's…" Elide groaned at her hesitation. Why should she care so much what Manon thought? There was no question of what she had to do.
"He's been wounded with some sort of Valg poison," she explained. "Rowan and Gavriel need to keep going to get Aelin and," the words didn't sound real when she said them out-loud, "they're leaving him behind to die. They can't afford- they don't think they can wait for him to- they're leaving him," she repeated. "They're leaving him behind."
"From what I've seen, that demi-fae can take care of himself," Manon growelled.
"That demi-fae," Elide replied, every bit as coldly as Manon had, "has been wounded badly and can not keep up. That's why they're leaving him behind: because he can't take care of himself."
"Elide," Manon flexed her jaw. "I'm sorry. But I can not divert my mission for that."
"I'm not asking you to," Elide said, her gut sinking. It would have been faster on a Wyvern. "I'm simply informing you of what I'm doing. I might ask for a couple of provisions, if you can spare them. I leave as soon as possible."
"You can't leave," Manon snapped. "Asterin is right, you won't make it to the dawn."
"I will make it to the dawn," Elide said, her tone like steel.
"Elide," Asterin said softly. "Even if you had a Wyvern, and you flew the poor beast practically to death, you wouldn't make it there in less than four days. If they're leaving him behind to die he likely doesn't have that long. Even if he did, the fact that he's wounded makes it all the more likely that something else will kill him before you get there. I'm sorry I told you to look for him, I'm sorry. It would have been better if you hadn't."
"Not going is not an option," Elide said calmly even as anxiety gripped at her bones. "I'm going to find him, alive or not."
"Elide that's ridiculous," Manon stood up aggressively. "You are not going anywhere."
"Am I your prisoner?" Elide asked calmly. If she was, she would have to find a way to escape.
"If it means keeping you safe," Manon growlled, leaning in close, "Yes."
"Manon," Asterin touched her Wing Leader's shoulder. "Can I talk to you?"
"You're not leaving," Manon snarled down at the human girl. Elide didn't so much as blink.
"Yes, I am."
Asterin pulled Manon away to engage in a quietly furious debate.
.
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Gavriel came back to the camp a few hours later. Lorcan was asleep on his bed roll. Rowan was up, marinating in his fear and self-loathing. The Lion eyed him calmly.
"I suppose he cornered you and convinced you to leave first?"
Rowan swallowed dryly before admitting, "I'm willing to wait one day. But after that I will go on." He watched the flames and wondered if he would even be able to look Aelin in the eye after this. He decided, as long as he got to see her alive again at all, he would take that risk.
Even if she was ashamed of him, at least he would have her back.
Gavriel clenched his jaw. "And I suppose your mind is absolutely made up?"
Rowan avoided the Lion's burning gaze. "It is."
Silence echoed around the camp for several minutes before Gavriel stalked around to the other side of the fire. He stood over the sleeping Lorcan for a second evaluating him with an unnerving calm that betrayed his anger was far from spent. Rowan felt a shiver run down his spine. Earlier he'd wondered for a moment if Gavriel was actually going to kill Lorcan. He'd never seen the Lion lash out at one of the Cadre before. Not like that.
"Lorcan," Gavriel leaned down and shook the demi-fae. Lorcan flinched awake, a dark spider's web of power wrapping between his raised hands.
"Did I startle you?" Gavriel took a step back and crouched down.
Lorcan's power dissipated and he winced as he forced himself to sit up, blinking sleep from his eyes.
"I thought you were going to take another swing at me," he admitted, rubbing his face.
"No," Gavriel said, although he didn't apologize, which Rowan took as meaning he was still furious with Lorcan. And probably Rowan. And definitely Maeve. Honestly, Gavriel was probably angry at nearly every aspect of his life right now. Rowan wondered why it never occurred to him that Gavriel might be as angry as the rest of them, maybe even more so.
"I have…" Gavriel clenched his jaw and fists as though it physically hurt to say, "I have a compromise."
Lorcan looked dubious.
Gavriel stared the Commander down as he begrudgingly conceded, "I will agree to go with Rowan if you agree to take the carranam bond."
"No," Lorcan snapped immediately.
Rowan frowned, "Wait, you're…?"
"If you won't agree, I am staying," Gavriel levelled calmly. "There is absolutely no chance I'm leaving you out here without protection, wounded like you are, with Maeve's wolves roaming the mountains, without the bond."
Lorcan was sputtering and Rowan found himself marvelling: gentle Gavriel beating on a patient and Lorcan Salveterre speechless and sputtering. The world really must be ending.
"That's... that's," Lorcan stammered. "No!"
"Fine. Good luck, Rowan," Gavriel nodded curtly to the prince who was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Gavriel and Lorcan had been carranam all these centuries he'd known them and he had been oblivious to it. "I'm staying."
"That's blackmail!" Lorcan all but roared.
"And what exactly would you call using Meira and Aedion against me?" Gavriel's voice was quiet but white hot.
Lorcan was snarling, trapped between decisions and Rowan found some satisfaction in the fact that at least he was feeling crushed between two choices now as well. He shouldn't, but he did.
"You're just going to have to trust me enough to take the bond and-"
"Trust you?!" Lorcan surged to his feet and swayed, furious and dizzy. He was seething, "You want me to trust you after you blackmail me? I remember what they used to do to Demi-fae carranam's, Gavriel. I remember, and neither of you do! Neither of you ever saw!"
Rowan had seen plenty of carranam break each other, even after the law was finally passed against bonding without consent. And he knew that the crueler full-blooded fae were only too happy to find a demi-fae (a non-legal citizen) they could use. He couldn't imagine much worse than he had already seen, but he believed the horrors that were trapped behind the Commander's eyes.
"I'm not asking you to start trusting me," Gavriel said, still unnervingly calm. "I'm asking if you already do. If you don't then I will simply stay. I'm not forcing you into anything. I am giving you a choice. "
"You can't-" Lorcan spat. "That's not a choice. You're telling me you're going to let Rowan go and get himself killed? You're going to just leave Aelin to her fate?"
"No," Gavriel smiled thinly, "I'm putting it back in your hands. It's your choice: Do I go with Rowan? Or do I stay here with you?"
Lorcan hissed and staggered over to the other side of the fire. Pain forced himself to drop down and sit and his black gaze flickered with the furious color of the flames between them.
"So what do you choose?" Gavriel asked.
"If I take the bond," Lorcan simmered. "I will drain you. This wound is already feeding on my magic. I will hurt or kill you!"
"Possibly," Gavriel said agreeably.
"Gavriel! I am not going to be the reason you die-"
"No," Gavriel interrupted. "You just want to be the reason I suffer for the rest of my life."
"Gavriel!" Lorcan barked. "Would you stop making this about you and me? This is about Rowan and Aelin!"
"What do you choose?" Gavriel ignored the accusation.
"I can't- Gavriel," Lorcan's rage seemed to be waning and his color was draining rapidly. "You'll be tethered to me from miles away for who knows how long and… and… that kind of power will sap you."
"Possibly."
"And… and when I die -because it will only prolong the process, it won't be enough to save me- when I die it could break you. You've seen it before."
"I have."
"Gavriel," Lorcan's fury was spent and he looked exhausted. "Why do you want this so badly?"
"I don't," Gavriel replied. "I want you: alive."
Lorcan shook his head and gave a mirthless laugh, "And if Maeve's wolves do find me?" Onyx eyes rose to meet gold. "Or one of the Cadre? You know she won't waste the opportunity to use me against you." There was no hate in his tone and Rowan despised that about Lorcan. How could he know how desperately wicked and cruel Maeve was and still let part of him love her? How could he speak about her with anything but contempt after what she had done to them, what Lorcan knew she would do to them if she got the chance?
"That's the chance that every carranam takes," Gavriel replied simply. "You must choose. Will you take the bond or does Rowan need to depart tomorrow alone?"
The gaze Lorcan shot Rowan was unguarded and agonized. Rowan felt his gut drop. It had never occurred to him that Lorcan actually cared what happened to him. He thought this was about Lorcan wiping out a debt. But slowly the moment's started filtering through his memories. Rowan felt cheated. He hadn't realized what the Demi-fae had been showing, in his own gruff, aggressive, and overbearing way, was a brotherly love. And he only realized it now that the Commander was on the way to his grave.
Was this his luck? He didn't know what people really meant to him until they were taken from him?
"I…" Lorcan shook his head miserably. "I need sleep. I'll decide in the morning."
"Night isn't going to change your mind," Gavriel insisted. "Decide now. Will you take the bond? Or will Rowan go on alone?"
Lorcan ran a hand over his face with a moan. "Fine… but if this kills you too, it's your own fault."
"Lorcan Salvaterre," Gavriel snapped. "You may be surprised to discover that I have been ready to die for you nearly since the day I met you."
Lorcan shook his head weakly. Defeated. "I'm not surprised, Gavriel."
"Get some sleep," Gavriel demanded. "I won't make you take the bond now if you don't want to. We can take it in the morning."
Lorcan muttered a few indecipherable words (definitely curses by the tone) before trying to struggle to his feet. He barely succeeded before doubling over, gasping. Gavriel had leapt over the campfire before Rowan had even made it all the way to his feet and caught Lorcan as he collapsed, unconscious, to the ground.
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AHHHH! I've been excited to ost this chapter and reveal that Gavriel and Lorcan are carranam! XD What do you think? Are you as surprised as Rowan? Did you see it coming? Please review and let me hear your thoughts!
-D.
P.S. if you want to hear my reasoning behind Gavriel's explosion, check out my new instagram page (d_reagan_fly)! I talk about Gavriel's personality types and have other thoughts about writing, fanfiction, characters, plots and more! ALSO, that's where i will be posting my own fanart for my stories.
P.P.S. If you have some fanart you'd like to share for Eigengrau, DM me in instagram! I'd love to see what you have! :)