Soda knew what Steve's words meant. In that moment, he hated it.

"Fine," Soda simply said as he hung up the phone. He just looked at his hand on the receiver. "Damnit! I don't even get twenty-four hours to be mad." Darry was confused, and just watched as Soda grabbed his shoes and walked out the door.

"Yeah, good talk," Darry shook his head, "With yourself."

Soda was mad at Steve, but he couldn't leave him alone at a time like this. He knew how dangerous that was. In this moment, he had to put aside the reason he was angry and be his best friend. He arrived at Steve's house and walked inside, going straight up to his bedroom.

"What the hell is going on?" Soda asked, closing the door behind him.

Steve looked up at Soda with fearful eyes. He slowly raised his arm for Soda to see the fresh wound. "I...I didn't mean...I didn't mean it Soda," Steve winced.

Soda grabbed Steve's arm and looked down at it. "Why?" He didn't mean to have such an annoyed, short-fused tone to his question.

Steve just shook his head, "I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't," Soda said toning down his words.

"I can't believe I did this again. I panicked so much, I just passed out to go to sleep. I woke up and...I didn't think it happened."

"I know."

"I'm sorry Soda. For everything," Steve closed his eyes tight, "I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done any of this. I've really fucked up. I've messed up a lot."

"Yes you have," Soda sighed, "Do you realize how much you've messed up to go back to this shit again?"

"Soda, please...please don't be mad at me. I can't take that right now," Steve begged.

Soda took a deep breath. He had to revisit years ago when this was happening the first time. Him being mad only lead Steve to get upset and continue cutting. Soda couldn't let that happen. "Okay. I'm going to try and forgive you and not stay mad at you, because I know that's what you need right now. I don't want to send you back down the path you were on. You've come way too far."

"Thank you Soda. Really, thank you."

"But you need to slow down and stop this shit you're getting yourself into. I seriously don't want to see you talking to Sheppard or hearing about you going to Yale again."

"I know Soda, I know."

"Because look what it's causing. Look at yourself."

Steve looked to the side, refusing to look at his arm, "I know. I'm sorry Soda. I want to take it all back."

"As for Ponyboy though, I can't say for him if he's mad or as forgiving. You'd need to talk to him yourself."

Steve shook his head, "I...I can't show him this. I can't let him see I've sunk...

"I think you should."

"Soda, it could freak him out."

"Maybe, but I think he needs to see it and understand."

Looking down to the floor, Steve knew Soda may be right. It'd be a very difficult conversation to have with the younger greaser, but maybe it would help Steve confront the problem. "Okay. I'll talk to him about it."

Back at the Curtis house, Pony took a shower and got dressed for the day. He saw his cut plenty of times, and it barely phased him. He didn't see it worse than any other minor injury he could have. He slid on a long sleeve shirt to avoid any questions, even though he barely cared anyway. Surprisingly, Ponyboy actually felt glad he finally went through the first time of cutting. He felt he could easily do it now to get away from any of life's problems. There could be no more fear or anxiety. Steve may have had one mishap that got him in trouble, but Pony was confident he could keep control of it. If he could handle that first time, he would be fine.

After Steve got himself cleaned up and dressed, he and Soda stepped outside. Soda could feel his best friend tense up and full of anxiety.

"Steve, I know you're freaking out, but it's okay. You slip up once, and you can move on," Soda said, "You're not doomed to go back to the hospital."

"Thanks Soda," Steve simply said, "I think I just need to get through today."

"So what do you think Tim is doing right now?"

"Not worrying about us," Steve smirked.

"You're probably right about that. We fought right on his front lawn. He wouldn't have cared if we killed each other," Soda shook his head, "I mean, what's he going to do about the car?"

"I have no idea. I don't want to ask. I don't care anymore," Steve shook his head.

"Just be careful, alright? You could get jumped again."

"I know."

"I wouldn't walk alone for awhile if I was you."

"I don't think I'll be going out much for some time," Steve said as he pulled out a cigarette, "Darry's going to bust my head in once I walk inside."

"Maybe," Soda shrugged with a sly smile, "Maybe you deserve it."

Darry and Pony looked up and were surprised to see Steve walk in with Sodapop.

"What's going on?" Darry asked. Soda knew he was really asking where things stood between the two since he hadn't expected them to be hanging out so quick.

"There's just been a mishap," Soda said putting a little emphasis on his wording, so Darry wouldn't jump to shoving his fist down Steve's throat. Darry stood up and walked into the kitchen, Soda and Steve following him. Steve didn't dare look at Ponyboy. He didn't know if he could take whatever expression was on his face.

"Okay, so?" Darry began.

"Show him," Soda simply said.

Steve looked towards the wall while slowly holding out his arm. Darry brought his hand up to rub his forehead, "Why?"

"I didn't mean it," Steve said as if he was on repeat.

"Boy, I remember hearing that a lot back then," Soda said, "Every time I caught you."

"Soda, please don't," Steve begged.

"Not the time buddy," Darry softly said, "I know you're upset, but not the time."

"I'm sorry," Soda shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Why?" Darry asked again.

Steve lowered his arm as he fought the tears, "I'm...scared."

"Of?" Darry asked.

"I can't be doing this again."

"You won't," Darry said, "You can fight it."

"I've just...messed up so much. I thought I'd feel better just getting it over with last night, and...it sent me to this bullshit again," Steve gritted his teeth, "I..." Before Steve could go on, he grabbed the nearest dish on the counter and threw it against the wall, letting out a loud scream. He turned and threw a fist to the wall, leaving a small crack.

"What's going on?" Pony asked as he rushed into the kitchen.

"Let's go," Soda grabbed his best friend and brought him out the backdoor.

"He's okay," Darry grabbed his youngest brother's shoulders and squeezed, "You can go talk to him in a minute."

Outside, Soda let Steve continue his yells and throwing things. It was best not to get in the way of Steve in those moments.

"I hate Tim right now," Steve said through his gritted teeth, "He pushed me back to this." Soda knew that wasn't the complete truth, but he wasn't going to argue it. He let Steve say whatever he needed to so he could calm down. Eventually, Steve sat down in the grass and let his head hang low, his hands folding behind his neck.

Soda turned as the door opened and saw Pony step outside. "You can come out," Soda said.

"Is he okay?" Pony asked.

"He will be," Soda said looking back at Steve.

"What's wrong?"

"That's something he needs to tell you," Soda grabbed Pony's arm and pulled him close, "I know you might be mad from last night, but just put that away for now. We'll worry about that later, okay?"

"Okay, sure," Pony fished out his cigarettes, figuring he was about to need them. Soda walked out into the yard and knelt down to Steve's level.

"Pony's out here. Are you ready to talk?" Steve looked up at Soda. His face was full of defeat. "It could help you to actually talk about it, not just yell."

Steve took one last look to the ground before slowly getting to his feet. The duo walked closer to the house. Steve stayed at the bottom of the porch steps while Soda made his way inside the house.

"Steve, what's going on?" Pony asked with concern, "You're scaring me."

"I need to talk to you," Steve shuffled around uncomfortably, pulling out a cigarette.

"Okay."

"Listen Pony, I'm so sorry for what I did last night. I regretted it immediately," Steve looked up at the sky, "I...I made an even bigger mistake afterwards."

"You mean after hitting Soda?"

"Yeah," Steve let out a heavy sigh. He could feel his chest getting heavy as he tried to begin telling the youngest greaser what he had done the previous night. His breathing picked up in pace. Sweat began to form at his hairline.

"Steve?" Pony asked noticing the sudden physical changes in Steve. "Steve, what's going on?" Steve didn't respond though as he slowly sat himself down to the ground. He grabbed his chest, looking like he was struggling to breathe. Pony tossed his cigarette and hurried inside the house. "Soda, something's wrong!"

Soda rushed back outside and got down next to Steve. "Steve? It's okay. Breathe Steve." Pony watched as Steve went to scratching at his arm, like he had done that one day when he zoned out. "Steve, stop it." Soda grabbed Steve's hands and held onto them, keeping them still. "Look at me. Focus on breathing. You are okay." It was all so familiar to Pony. He remembered listening to Darry, Soda, and Steve talk to him during his moments. He never realized how he probably looked to them when he was having nightmares or panic attacks. If he looked anything like Steve was in that moment...

"That's how I've looked before, isn't it?" Pony asked.

Soda looked over at his little brother, "Yeah."

"I barely remember going through it once I get out of it. It's...scary to watch."

"It is," Soda nodded, "You can go inside if you want."

"No," Pony shook his head, "I want to make sure he's okay."

Soda turned his attention back to Steve. He was slowing down his breathing, his body was slowly relaxing, tears finally escaped his eyes. "You're okay," Soda soothed, "You are okay."

Steve nodded, laying his head into Soda's chest. Soda wrapped his arms around his best friend and held on tight. "Pony, I'm going to bring him inside and come talk to you, okay?"

"Okay," Pony slowly sat down on the top step. He could feel a chill go through him. The scene was uncomfortable to watch, and it was really putting things in perspective for him. Was that how Soda and Darry saw Pony during his nightmares? Did they go through the fear of calming him down like that? Did he sometimes physically fight back?

As Soda walked back outside, Pony first asked, "Damn, what could he have had to say that could cause a panic attack?"

Soda sat down next to Ponyboy, "Well, Pony this may be hard to hear, but it's best you know. He sort of, in a way, relapsed last night."

"What do you mean?"

"He got very upset over what he did, and our fight, and he ended up cutting himself."

"What?" Pony asked. The news didn't really upset him, not like he thought it would. After his experience last night, he didn't think of it as bad as everyone was making it out to be.

"Don't be too mad at him Ponyboy. It was a trip up for him, but he'll be fine. These things happen," Soda explained, "The important thing is he doesn't get back to what he used to be."

"I'm not mad."

"You aren't?" Soda asked with some surprise to his little brother's extra calm response. He figured maybe he was just trying to be brave about it.

"I mean, I don't know," Pony shrugged, "I was a little more just freaked out at his attack."

"I know. Those are hard to watch. He just needs to rest and we'll check in on him later."

Later that afternoon, Darry got an unexpected phone call. Soda tried listening in, but Darry was being very quiet about it. He even took the phone call upstairs and was on it for almost an hour. Steve was still resting in Soda and Pony's shared bed. Soda didn't expect him to just jump up for the rest of the day. He knew all too well panic attacks took everything out of him. While he was peeking in on Steve, he finally heard Darry hang up the phone. He took the opportunity to see what was going on.

"Darry?" Soda asked, as he entered his older brother's room, "What's going on? Who was that?"

"It was Aunt Julie."

"Oh? Did we forget something?" Soda asked, "I guess not. You were on the phone forever."

"Yeah," Darry said, still seeming somewhat distracted, "Something's come up."

"What?"

"Apparently something went wrong with mom and dad's will," Darry said, "You know how Aunt Julie was the beneficiary or whatever for the will? Well apparently after we left, she kept going through some things that didn't seem to concern us, and she found more documents. She's been talking to the lawyer and it's something that will interest us. Or, I should say it involves us. She didn't want to promise anything."

"Us?" Soda sighed, "So...we have to go back?"

"Yeah, for the meeting," Darry said.

"Darry, do we have to? We can't leave Pony alone. I can't leave Steve."

Darry sighed, "I know, I know. We have to be there though, we're listed in it."

"Ponyboy isn't?"

"Aunt Julie thinks maybe it was written before he was born, or it was recent and he was too young. We aren't really sure."

"Can't Pony come with us?" Soda asked.

Darry thought for a moment, "We can see if he wants to."

"I'm just not comfortable leaving either of them right now."

"I know buddy. Let's figure this out."

The brothers walked downstairs where Pony was reading a book on the couch. "Pony," Darry began, "Put the book down. We need to talk."

"About Steve?" Pony asked setting the book down.

"No," Soda shook his head as he took a seat on the floor, "Something else."

"What?" Pony asked, hoping they hadn't caught on to his cutting.

"Listen buddy, there's been a situation," Darry said, "It's not really a bad one. It's just concerning in this moment of time."

"Why? What is it?" Pony asked.

"Well Aunt Julie called," Darry began.

"Okay?"

"Long story short, she found some documents that Soda and I have to be a part of. Another part of their will or something they left behind. We have to be a part of the meetings and stuff to finalize everything. So, we need to go back over there. We're nervous to leave you alone with everything going on, so do you want to come with us?" Darry asked.

Pony shrugged, "I actually don't understand."

"Don't understand what?" Darry asked, "I can't really explain the documents. Aunt Julie wasn't sure what they really meant, or could mean."

"No. I don't understand what you guys are so nervous about? I've been feeling okay."

"I guess that's what is worrying us is you're being rather calm about everything," Soda said.

"It's like you're bottling up anger we had expected you to have," Darry added on.

"No, I'm not," Pony sighed, "I mean, I may have been angry at first, but I'm trying to be okay. And Steve spiraling isn't a time to be mad." Pony knew he was lying. He knew the only reason he was fine was because of the cutting he had done. And he'd rather stay home to handle that on his own. He was okay with it, whether he believed that himself.

"Well...okay," Darry looked at Soda, "I mean, I know it wouldn't be fun for you to come with anyway, so if you really think you'll be fine to stay home you can."

"I'll be okay, I promise," Pony said, "Who is going to stay with me?"

"Yeah, good question," Darry said.

"How are you feeling buddy?" Soda asked. Steve finally woke up and walked down to the kitchen for some food.

"I'm doing okay," Steve said.

"Well, sorry to be abrupt but I need to talk to you about something."

Steve let out a low groan, "What is it?"

"Darry and me have to go away again."

Steve looked over at Soda, "What?"

"Something came up at Aunt Julie's, another document or something, I don't really know. Me and Darry have to go though and be part of it with the lawyers and stuff."

"Oh," Steve softly said.

"I don't want to leave you Steve, not in a time like this, but...I kind of have to buddy."

"Is Ponyboy going with?"

"No," Soda shook his head, "He said he wants to stay here. Don't worry about it though. I'm sure Darry will ask Two-Bit to come stay, or Pony can go to his house or something."

Steve shuffled his fingers, "I guess you guys wouldn't dare leave me with him again."

Soda shrugged, "Are you okay to be left alone?"

"The truth?"

"Well yeah, of course."

Steve looked between the wall and Soda, "No."