Title: Coffee Beans
Author: Serpent at Sunset
Pairing: Yamori x OC x Tsukiyama
Rating: T
Fandom: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst/Romance
Word Count: 2,531
Summary: Some gardens bloom only at night in deep darkness, and someone has finally noticed Natsuki's bud... Yamori x OC x Tsukiyama
To his great surprise, Kaneki had beat him up pretty bad. His breath was labored and he could barely move or see. He needed to heal. Badly. He hadn't been this low since Tokage was looming over him...
The ever present darkness that had settled around the edges of his vision all these years was steadily getting nearer and nearer. Damn. It had been so long that he had to fight for his life. He had naturally assumed that he was the strongest now. That he would never be weak again
It was the first and only time it had happened in so many years. In all of his fights, he never had he hit the ground. Not once.
The kid had flown at him like an avenging angel. Yamori could have never guessed that they positions would end up reversed. Had he been just pretending to be weak? Why had his hair turned white? Why wasn't he pathetic like before? Had he just been pretending for the hell of it?
If so, he was nowhere near sane. Kaneki Ken was messed up. But, enough about him. The pain was steady as it began to devour his mind.
This wasn't good. Yamori turned his face to cough up more blood. From personal experience, he knew that he was getting weak too quickly. It occurred to him that that he was on Death's door once more.
As futile as it was, he then uselessly cried out for his mother who was the only person that had loved or had gave a damn about him all the while with that other woman's face.
Still awash with agony, that woman who reminded him of his mother haunted his thoughts. She was similar to her with her blonde hair, but she was younger. Her eyes were different too. What was her name? Was it Natsumi? He couldn't even remember anymore. There were so many blank spaces in his head...
Both women looked so sad. Why was everyone sad? Why was everyone in his life sad? Life was a nightmare. It was hell. It had been hell for a while.
He wasn't alone anymore. In a craze, he looked up and glimpsed a pale boy with a scythe. He smirk resembled a bloody slash. His blood.
The interplay of the two women was the last thing in his mind before a fierce stab of pain silenced the world. In moments, he could felt himself spiraling away into the void with all of his regrets.
Mother...Naki...
Natsuki...
At last, he remembered.
After Nico had finished telling her the news, she sat there stiffly as her emotions steadily swallowed her up. She had become a china doll, so she was already knew that there was always a risk of damage from cracking. It just depended on the severity of the blow.
"Yamori is dead?" she questioned.
She couldn't believe it. Natsuki could literally could hear the world crack like a boot stepping on ice.
"It's been confirmed that The damned CCG did it." A grimace was on Nico's face. "Yes, the boss is dead. Long live the king, right?"
Natsuki didn't respond.
She watched as he set down the empty bottle of blood wine with a shrug. "It really is such a waste, but I bet you're happy now, right? It remedied your situation."
First, Natsuki had to remember what happiness was. Mostly, she felt numb. Drained. Like a bleeding corpse,
To collect the situation, Naki was still imprisoned and here now Yamori was dead. Gone. Everybody was gone. Except for the whore and the playboy. It was almost poetic justice. The real White Suits were gone-one jailed and one deceased.
In a sense, she was finally free and no one could stop her now from going anywhere she fucking pleased. However, she was...tainted. Life seemed so huge and insurmountable even for someone in her situation. Part of her didn't want to try ever again. What if this situation repeated? What if she was placed in a worse situation?
Maybe she would get a mysterious disease like her father and die. Well, she could only hope. Then, she could stop struggling...
Nico wandered away and Natsuki was left alone with the walls closing in. The uncertainty was a heavy weight blocking her thoughts. Honestly, she would prefer to stop thinking altogether: an impossible feat for her perpetually observant mind.
She shook her head at the empty room while listening to the sound of the roaring fire behind her. She at last decided to go to bed. All the better to hide from her devouring emotions. It really was the easiest thing to do, She resolved that she would figure something out in the morning.
As Natsuki climbed upstairs and slid into the king bed, she found that the bed still smelled of Yamori's expensive cologne and stupidly she just started crying until she was slowly drowning in a pool of her tears. She doubted that he would do the same for her. Clearly, her mind wasn't right.
She was so stupid. Oh, so stupid. She had stayed with him all this time, but in her defense, it was at all wouldn't being killed the most painful way possible. Maybe she should have just went crazy and done it. But, in the end, she decided that she didn't want to suffer more pain. After all, Yamori required complete control. No independence was allowed.
Still alone in her sorrow, she stared at the other empty pillow for a while. How could she be so lucky and yet feel so devastated? It didn't make sense.
Though in a sense, it was relief. It was an outpouring of emotion that she had never got to feel right. She had had to remain numb to stay in this situation anything. The only was dread and duty.
Again, she wondered if they had actually been married. Her right shoulder still bore a scar from that Valentine's Day in the bathtub, but Natsuki never spoke of it. She just wished that its presence would disappear from her life. Maybe he had just did just for some sadistic fun. However, that macabre emblem of ownership would never disappear. Yamori himself would never disappear either from her psyche.
As her fingertips brushed against it, the sensation of the skin itself filled her with sorrow and dread. She had been marked and everyone could see it.
Natsuki reminded herself that he could never touch or abuse her again, but she was still was lonely. At least she had had a place with him. She was still a person after all. Natsuki needed real bonds as opposed to delusional ones or storybooks. Maybe she had spent too much time with her books. Now, her life rivaled a crime novel.
Still, she he was left with one single question echoing in her head-Had she ever really loved him? Even just a little bit? It was unthinkable. Since she couldn't answer her own question, her heart continued to tear itself part. It tortured her as surely as Yamori eventually would have. She didn't love him, so why did it hurt?
As she lay there, she stubbornly tried to figure out her heart, but it had stubbornly secreted itself away inside her chest. Soon, her consciousness left her as well.
Natsuki truly wondered if she remembered how to live on her own anymore. Then again, she was a ghoul and survival was second nature to her. What did it matter if she was all that happy or fulfilled? She just needed to live another day. Even a grunt member of Aogiri was that lucid.
When she awoke the next morning, she felt...nothing. Natsuki was had awoken in a void. She was of no use to anyone now. She was finally free yet lost in the wind. It was numbing and disorienting. She had to remedy that.
But, before another chapter of her life could begin, she had to turn the pages herself. In truth, Natsuki felt like a little girl again. She so full of opportunity and wonder yet so vulnerable.
It was a thunderstorm inside her. The pain and the hope.
The sun illuminated the window blinds in a fiery glow. It was probably after nine.
Well, it was time to move. It was late enough.
Immediately, She packed her clothes including her white gowns yet she couldn't take each and every very single piece of clothing. She bit her lip if the CCG would find this place too to chance staying here either left
Natsuki stood up from the bed and stripped off her white gown to opted for a medium length black one. White would no doubt make her a target after last night.
When she was properly packed, she picked up her three bags and inspected the familiar bedroom one last time. It had never really been hers. Hell, she had been kidnapped. She hadn't been calling any of the shots even as to what she wore in her everyday life.
She couldn't live here anymore. Technically, she could've stayed here and consider the house as hers to keep. It would be a fair payment for all she had gone through. But, no doubt the CCG would be around. She didn't want to die with Yamori.
She walked into the kitchen and already found Nico there. So much for leaving in quietly. His eyes were already on her.
"I'm going to Aneiku," she announced before he could ask any questions.
"What? Are you in the mood for a cup of coffee?" He held up his own coffee mug.
"I want to work there."
Nico stifled a snort. "What? you're going to be a waitress? Isn't that a little pedestrian? Why would they even want you?"
Natsuki scowled. She didn't need his approval. After all, it was the place that still called to her after all these years. She wanted to go back to a place that she had been innocent. She was sure that she would figure thongs out on the way. Natsuki always did in the end. She had to. It was a matter of survival.
Flashes of a man with purple hair and a faux French accent He probably didn't even remember her anymore. Shuu probably had a new interest by now, or rather, a new person.
She was well aware now that her infatuation was unrealistic and pathetic, but she couldn't stop feeling. It was a miracle that she could still be emotional. Becoming cold could be a permanent side effect of living with Yamori.
Natsuki already knew that she was dirty because of all of the things she had seen heard, seen, and experienced. She needed a new life. She needed money and new connections. To accomplish that, she had to leave Aogiri as well.
"Well, the door's there." he gestured to it. "I can't keep you," he teased.
It was the best course of action she already knew that their personality didn't mesh together well not that they would live together in this big empty house. It was time to move on. Yamori couldn't stop her anymore. Nico would probably do the same as he had other connections in the Clowns and most likely other lovers. Well, it wasn't her business anymore.
Again, she was doing the responsible thing as usual. It was second nature for her now. Maybe she really had become a wife except now that her husband would never come home.
One last time, she took it all in into her lungs. The decorative potpourri, the smoke and ash from Yamori's cigars that still clung to the air, and some notes of blood leaking from somewhere. With Yamori, the possibilities were endless.
Then, she left. For the final time.
Natsuki was aware that she looked a sight walking down the streets of Tokyo with her numerous amount of luggage. When she turned her head, she felt stares on her, but she ignored them After all, she all had places to be. If they really knew her situation, some might feel sympathy for her, but not all humans weren't like that. But to be fair, ghouls weren't either. At times, everyone some could use simple compassion, but it was always so hard to obtain.
Or perhaps, she was just another tourist in their eyes.
It occurred to her to return to her childhood house that was abandoned by now, and she might have to exterminate some unwelcome guests No, that was far too troublesome. She needed to break away from her past and chart the direction towards her future.
It was all on her now. Her father had died from an unknown disease, and her mother had been killed by the CCG on her sixteenth birthday. Now, her boss and "husband" had just been slain by the CCG. She had no support.
She was overwrought in her to be surrounded by all those memories had infiltrated her brain would She already knew that she would never forget what his voice sounded like
In her mind, there were precious few places to go except to return to Anteiku. It had basically been her second home before she had been ensnared by Yamori. He had dominated every facet of her life since.
The familiar sights of the streets and buildings soothed her heart, but all the same, her tears pricked under her eyelashes. After all that happened, at least she was back now. Maybe with enough time she would forget that anything had ever happened to her. Her mind might forget, but her body never would.
And now, here she was. Finally on the way to Anteiku. She was in reach of her goal.
Natsuki continued to walk along the streets of the 20th ward that she knew so well. It was automatic as her feet moved pure instinct before the fated building came into her view. It was now or never. It was something she should have done years ago before Yamori had even seen her.
A crowd was already forming around the doors of the coffee shop. She glanced at a nearby bank clock tower and saw that it was almost lunch at 11:56 in the morning. Her pulse began to quicken as she moved towards her target.
She was so overburdened with all of her bags so the door slammed shut behind her by itself and, almost immediately, an older patron turned in her direction and scowled at the sudden noise.
So, everyone had already heard her arrive, and they were already angry. Natsuki half expected Yamori to appear from somewhere to swear at her for making so much noise. Yet, she already knew that he would never appear. He couldn't.
From behind the counter, Touka spotted her right away and Natsuki watched as her face went white while the old man she recognized as Yoshimura behind the counter hadn't even noticed. His deft hands still continued to measuring out the coffee beans. Even at his advanced age, he was truly committed to his task. It was admirable.
The clouds were still thick in her eyes until a ray of sunlight at last shone in recognition.
"Natsuki..." The word was distant on Touka's lips.
Well, it seemed that she finally remembered her name. That was a start.
Natsuki smiled almost sheepishly at this rather surreal situation. "Is there a job available?"
Wide-eyed, Touka blinked at her. It was as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. That was okay. Natsuki didn't even believe that she was here. She fully expected that this door would be slammed in her face too. Life didn't wait for anyone. Maybe it was too late to turn back. Maybe she should have stayed with Aogiri...
To her surprise, Yoshimura nodded and smiled at her from behind the counter.
"What a coincidence. A position just opened up."
A/N: Yes. It's happened. I wasn't thrilled to write this, but I have decided to follow canon. This is the end of Yamori, but he may show up in some other form later on along with Naki. This officially starts Part 2 of the fic, and it will contain scenes from the second season. Yes, and Tsukiyama. ;) Natsuki will have some changes too.
Thanks to all who have supported me so far and stay healthy!