Hi hears another chapter. I hope you are all keeping safe and thank you to all those key worker who are risking their lives daily. I am sorry for the delay this chapter was definitely a challenge but I finished it with the help of my brilliant beta Wrighting'GIRL3000. So without further ado here it is. Don't forget to review I love to hear your thoughts on my story.

As he slowly approached her Natasha looked up and smiled. "Rogers," she said, his name slipping from her tongue easily.

"Hey Nat."

Steve hovered by the door unsure of what he should do or say. He had been anticipating this moment for months and now it had arrived he was nervous. "Steve you can come closer." Nat smiled whilst using her arm to gesture that he should move towards her.

"But Nat..."

"Yes?"

"What if you disappear again like you do every night," he mumbled with his head down like a guilty child. He was clearly affected by the past year, Natasha could see how troubled he was and it brought tears to her eyes. Her heart broke for him.

"Steve. I'm right here. I promise you I am real just touch my hand." Slowly, he edged towards her hand. His rough fingers brushed her smooth palm. Her small hands clasped his big one. This time it was her turn to trace soothing pattern into his palm. Steve breathed out as he relaxed himself, he let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Natsha smirked at his behaviour, she enjoys knowing she had an effect on Captain America.

"We need to talk, Steve." She gently urged him not wanting to cause him more anxiety.

"I know." He sighed.

"Shall I start then."

"If you want to."

"Where shall I begin, I mean a lot has happened."

"How about the beginning."

"The beginning. Hmmm. Well I guess I'd always known-" Steve perched on the edge of her bed his eyes glued to her face like she was a drug he could not stop himself from taking.

"I always had feelings for you even though I tried desperately to ignore them. I kept telling myself love is for children but I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. Once Sharon came into the picture my feelings just became blatantly obvious. When we kissed that day it was not a mistake to me but I knew you have your morals- which is one if the reasons I love you so I knew I had just screwed our chances up."

"Natasha I didn't think it was a mistake I just wanted to make sure our relationship didn't start off wrong. I was going to break up with Sharon and the ask you out."

"I know that now but back then I hadn't. I was confused and blinded by my jealousy so I tried to win you over. Clint gave me the idea. Actually, looking back now that's probably the biggest mistake." Steve and her laughed. "T'Challa hadn't been pleased by my proposition at first but I persuaded him and that's when- when you left."

"I really was going to tell you the truth but then Tony announced you and T'Challa and I thought I was typically just too late. You had moved on and I believed you were happy. I wanted to stay, Nat. Really I did but I couldn't watch you with another man. Just the thought killed me so I asked Fury for the mission and left."

"I should never had made you jealous I am so sorry Steve."

"Don't apologize. I let you and everyone down when I left. When I heard how you had been reckless and irrational since I left it broke my heart. I'm so sorry Natasha. I let you down. I should've been here maybe if I had you wouldn't be in this bed right now." Steve voice broke and Natasha held him as he fell apart in her arms letting out all the pain he had been keeping inside.

"Shhh, you are not to blame for this Steve, this was Alexei's doing, not yours. Okay? You couldn't have known, I promise I don't hate you." Steve sat up, drying his tears they sat their holding each other and relishing in the others presence.

"Nat, who is Alexei?"

"He's a ghost from my past. It started after my parents murder. I remember I heard some struggling and screaming inside my house,I tried to get in but the door was jammed. I can still picture it in my mind. I hear their screams, their cries and pleas. I wasn't very strong and when I finally got inside I found them dead. Murdered. Lying in a dark pool of blood." She paused as her voice broke.

"The months following that were a blur, I still to this day cannot pinpoint how or when Alexei walked into my life. He was just their suddenly. I was so young, a teenager. I was so naive. He manipulated my feelings, he told me he loved me when I was just a child. He wanted to marry me he said and I foolishly believed him. I was so fucking messed up Steve and he just used it against me. Then one day I find out he died in a car 'accident'. These people came around saying Alexei was a higher up in the Red Room and that he wished I joined them. I was mourning and they twisted it into coercing me to join their evil. I had no clue who they really were or what they did. When I realised what they were truly doing, well it was too late. He came back. Years later, smug and proud he credited himself for my skills. He even trained me for a time until I attempted to kill him. Alexei enjoyed knowing he was the most powerful in the room, he took pleasure from my torment. My suffering. He liked that I hated him with such passion." Steve kissed her forehead and cradled her into his chest.

"I don't know why he's back, Steve. I assumed it it was to kill me, to tie up lose ends so to speak but who truly knows?"

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Nat, you deserve so much more. We are going to find him, I promise." Steve honestly replied as he swept some strands behind her ear.

"Thank you Steve but I acceptedy past a long time ago plus it brought me to you which is the best thing that ever happened to me." Steve blushed shyly.

"I believe whatever happened I'd always find you."

"My hero!" Natasha joked.

"Natasha I love you." Steve spoke earnestly.

"I love you too, always." Natasha grinned and leaned toward him until their lips touched. At first it was just a graze but Steve pressed his lips against hers harder deepening it. Natasha's tongue darted out licking his lower lip to gain entrance to his mouth. Their mouths crashed together moving in sync until they had to part to breathe.

Steve- "That was.."

Natasha smirked "Not too bad for a grandpa."

"You know what Romanoff," he grinned as he leaned in for another long kiss. That sat on the bed Steve had one hand clutching her face gently and the other slowly moved towards her ass. Natasha's hands groped his chest under his tight fitting shirt. They ghosted over his abs and she assaulted his mouth.

Just as Steve was about to move on top of Natasha when an alarm started blaring in the background causing them to jerk apart.

"Steve what's going on?" Natasha asked as she tried to smooth out her hair and hospital gown hurriedly.

"I don't know but Nat I think we need to leave."