Chapter Info

Title: Lectures and decisions.

Number: 23/?

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence, and my usual doses of angst here and there.

Author's Note: Found at the end!

- ʚɞ -

- Colorado Springs, Colorado -

- Skylar -

- October -

Skylar knew in completely retrospect that the current situation was not one that should be laughed at, there was no humour to be found within the fact that right now the pack was in the middle of a war. Despite this knowledge, she couldn't help but be amused at the current events that were unfolding in front of her and it was taking every ounce of her strength - as well as biting in the inside of her cheek - to not let out the peals of laughter she really wanted too.

Then again, what did she expect by putting Peter in a room with shifters? The vampire in question was perfectly at ease as he riled up the volatile control of her wolves, a part of Skylar knew he was testing them. He was learning their limits of control as he slowly assessed everything that needed to happen. Cole had already filled him in on everything they had learnt and now it was simply a strategising afternoon.

For her though, she couldn't help but feel as though a rock had settled in her stomach. Since the moment she had met Peter's eyes, she knew something was coming. Or more accurately. She knew she was about to get her ass chewed out by the vampire in question. Normally she'd have shucked it off, handed him a beer and worked her ass off on distracting him. But there was a determination shining in his red orbs that she knew she wouldn't be escaping this confrontation.

Not after introducing Paul.

She had spent the rest of the day before explaining her friendship with the vampire - though she knew her words hadn't quite hit the mark. After all, how could she explain that in a way Peter was her older brother? He was one of the few people she let chew her out and she listened to each of his words. Okay, there were times she didn't listen or she didn't actually act on the shit he said in regards to her personal life. But the sentiment was the same.

Shaking her head she pushes off the counter she'd been leant against and heads out the door. Climbing up onto the railing of the back porch she rests her arms over her thighs clasping her hands together as she allows her eyes to drag in everything that was around her. Trying - to no avail - to clear her mind. Something that honestly was a stupid endeavour as since finding that picture of Joseph, she hadn't stopped thinking.

But it wasn't just Joseph that was playing on her mind, it was also the other shifters who wanted her dead. They knew a Ragnulf was still alive, meaning if they wanted the territory then they had to take her life. It was one of the oldest plays in the book and one she was growing fucking tired of.

For a moment, Skylar was jealous of the La Push shifters. They were cut off from this type of shit and had kept to themselves. But for the other shifters that were out there, they were subjected to the laws and constant wars that came with being a part of the supernatural. Wars for territory, wars for mates and anything else that might crop up. A dark selfish part of her mind, wished she'd stayed in La Push. Allowed herself to shift within its borders and become wrapped up in the safety it offered.

But then the other - she wished she could call it rational - part of her mind reminded her that she probably wouldn't have joined the military, met Joseph or had Emmie-Jo. She had sacrificed safety for a well-lived life, which she guessed was a good compromise in the full scheme of things. Though, that was a debate for her therapist because right now, she was long overdue a talk.

She barely shifts as the screen door behind her opens and closes with a soft click, the silence from inside the house letting her know the others had left and now she was alone with Peter.

"Ya've gone an dug ya'self a good one Sug." Peter sighs as he settles on the railing next to her.

The chill of his skin clashes against her shifter heat and it feels welcome as she cuts her eyes to the side to see the vampire already looking at her.

"I'm guessing you're not talking about the war?."

There's a hint of resignation in her voice, she knew this was coming so she might as well face it head-on. And maybe a small part of her wanted to know what he thought. She'd heard him with Paul when she'd been on the phone with her mom and Emmie-Jo. She had heard as Paul explained their story from his point of view and she would have had to be deaf to hear the sigh of annoyance that had bled from Peter as it played out.

Things had only gotten worse after Sonny had interjected with his part and even Cole had commented. Peter having charmed the three of them into telling him what he needed to know. Though Skylar had to give him props on how he'd gone about it, saying he needed to know to help her out had definitely loosened the lips of those around him. Or maybe all of them were just desperate for Skylar to sort her head out so she could guide them properly. At this stage in time, it was a guessing game.

And Peter had all the answers. Or so his ego would lead anyone to believe.

"Oh nah, tha' war is tha' easy part. Tha' complete an utter fuck up tha' is ya life is wha' I'm talking 'bout."

"This should be interesting." she quirks, her lip curling in a condescending smirk as she turns to look away from the vampire.

Peter was used to her actions though, of how she became defensive when anyone would comment on her personal life. She could be a wolf, she could be a soldier and do everything to perfection. But talking about her personal life and listening to criticism. That she hadn't learnt - Layla could attest to that much.

"A'ight ya wanna play tha' game do ya. Answer me this, are you ever gonna let ya anger go for ya' fella." he starts, holding a hand up as she went to interrupt. "Now tha' one thing you gotta remember here Sug, when it comes ta imprintin' he ain't got much of a choice in tha' matter. He got lucky though by imprintin' on tha woman he was already in love with. A woman, ya gotta remember, tha' fucked off on 'im with no explanation. Leavin' him bound under tha' weight of a alpha order."

Why did she not rip his throat out again?. Shaking away her less than nice thought, she brings her eyes back towards Peter as she listens to him.

"Anotha' thing 'ya have ta think on 'ere. Ya fella never left 'ya, not like ya been thinkin'. Not even all this shite wit' ya papa. He's been righ' 'ere where 'ya need him."

Of course, Peter had a point. Paul hadn't left - she did. She was the one who kept running for ten years, even after she realised the whole imprinting rule. She just shoved it down into a dark corner of her mind and carried on running. Not once thinking about Paul and what her choices were doing to him. He had told her as much in their whole discussing feelings.

"Tha' one wit' the history of leavin' Sug, is you," he says clicking his tongue as he reaches into his pocket for his cigarettes. "Ya' fella ain't got nuthin' ta prove on tha' front. And no doubt he's wonderin' just when ya going ta fuck off again. He's probably expectin' it."

Handing them out to her she takes one and places it between her lips as he lights the end. Silence envelopes them as she thinks over Peter's words. Once more the southern asshole had cut straight through her every thought and hit the root of her issues. Skylar always had so much shit going on inside of her head that sometimes even she struggled to sort them all out, and in pranced this sparkly ass and with a few sentences, cuts them all in half.

"And my dear mystic meg, how do you predict me to fix this." she teases though she did want to know.

"Ya' young Sug, unlike most ya've got the chance to fix this shit and calm tha' fuck down. Ya, not the angry kids ya once were. Ya' both adults an' it's time ta' think like one." he shrugs "Ya both lost ya choices ta imprintin' an a alpha who didn' think, an ya' family fucked ya, I ain' going ta argue tha. But Sug, it's time ta grow up."

He blows the smoke out of his nose and Skylar simply concentrates on her own, his words churning inside of her and dissecting every little thing she'd thought in the last few weeks since she'd once more walked back into Paul's life. She was interwoven into the issues, whereas Peter was on the outside and not to mention about ten times her age, so she was willing to take it in.

Skylar guessed this time she was willing to listen only because she had been torn in half so far, different parts of her getting torn in different ways as everyone reached out wanting a part of her. She was learning that nothing was hers anymore. It was everyone's around her. She had to be something for her mate, for her daughter, for her family, for her pack, for her tribe. It left her feeling tired and as though there was nothing left. She was running on fumes and yet had to keep finding energy from somewhere.

That somewhere being her inner strength, but how could she do that when she was running on fumes.

"Growing up is the easy part. Fixing the shit I've broken is where the issue starts."

A hard snort ricochets inside Peter's chest and drags her attention back to him. "Maybe if ya' didn' make shit so darn complicated it wouldn' be. All ya've done Major is complicate shit tha' doesn' need ta be complicated. Take the little lady's papa, you've been pretendin' ya don' remember 'im. An yet everyone and their momma knows you've got a memory tha stores everythin'. All ya had ta say was he was a fellow marine who died on duty, done an done."

Because he made it sound so darn easy.

"You doin' tha same wit' your fella. Ya keep holdin' tha past over both of ya heads. Tha past is ova Major, it ain't gonna do either of ya a lick of good to keep holdin' on ta it. An anotha thing ya gotta think on Sug, tha' fella of yours has takin' tha baby of yours under his wing without complaint. He hasn' held tha over ya head. So stop holdin tha' past over his, when ya've made more damage than he has."

"You're an asshole," she mutters, her words wrapped in both a condescending but a heartfelt tone.

Peters' shoulder nudges against hers and she smirks. The vampire understanding that he had her thinking. That he'd gotten under her walls and penetrated the shit that was bugging her. Turning her head, she looks inside the screen door as she hears Jacoby and Cole moving around. A sigh drifting off her lips as she shakes her head.

"Any idea what I'm supposed to do here. I'm fucking lost on how to be alpha."

If she had to put a name to the look on Peter's face, she would say that he was borderline wishing to reach over and slap her around the face. He probably would have done it if it wasn't for the fact she'd hit him back and that wasn't productive for either of them. Instead, he manages to contain the urge and tilts his head as he looks at her.

"Sugar, have ya completely forgotten how ta be a soldier since having tha' little lady."

"What is that supposed to mean ?." Yeah, even a blind person could see the incredulous look that passes over her face.

"Ya, tryna do everythin' ya'self. An it's burnin ya out. But ya don't have to be the whole answer in this situation." She watches idly as he lights up another cigarette. "Now Sugar before ya get ya panties in a bunch, know 'm saying this from a good place okay. Now ya daddy knew how ta run this pack with his eyes closed. And tha's because he'd been doin' it for ages. Now you, ya brand new and for tha' reason you're still finding ya footing. Which means ya not going to be able to do it all by ya'self."

His tongue clicks as he thinks over his next words. "Now, ya lucky with the fact tha ya've got members of tha pack tha' served under ya daddy ta help 'ya out. Use them Sug, let them guide ya through this shitstorm. Just like in the army ya don't have ta do things alone. Not here, find ya advisors or ya guides and let them help ya through it all."

In theory, Peter's words were right, Skylar knew that. She could sense the truth hidden beneath every syllable. But she had a hard time accepting them. This was her fathers legacy, it was her grandfathers legacy and so forth. She was the first-born child that was born to lead this pack and she didn't want to let anyone down. There was a part of her that believed if she leant on someone else, she was letting her dad down.

Yet she also knew that was born from the fact of how many mistakes she'd made in the past. She didn't want to make anymore, she didn't want to let anyone else down. Though a deep-rooted part of her knew that not letting anyone in, not letting anyone share the burden that was currently resting on her shoulders was another way she was letting them down.

She was burning herself out, she was toeing the line between staying sane and falling apart. Skylar hadn't needed Peter to tell her that, to outline everything that she was currently doing to herself and her pack. Hell, she didn't even have a second in command, Ryker had taken the role temporarily but she hadn't yet voiced if it was a permanent thing.

Hell, she'd even been avoiding the council because she didn't want them sticking her nose into the business of her pack. She shrouded her avoidance under the umbrella of grief and they had bought the lie with ease. But now she could see that she had once more made a mistake. She had avoided using everything she had to offer, from surrounding herself with those who could guide her through this.

"Cheers Pete."

If the vampire had an idea what she was thanking him over, he was better than she was. Because right now she wasn't sure if she was thanking him for getting her thinking, for organising her thoughts for her or for simply pointing out her flaws. Either way, the words were passed her lips and she meant them.

Slipping off the railing she heads back inside, a soft smile lifting her lips as she notes Jacoby passed out on the couch. His snores echoing around the room and in the distance, she could also hear Cole and Paul snoring. Standing n the middle of the kitchen she allows the feeling of the three of them to soak into her. The relaxed feeling they were giving off, soothing the sting in her veins and for a moment she was at peace.

Moving silently she reaches up into the highest cupboard in the cupboard and grabs the two bottles of whiskey that her father had hidden there weeks ago. Grabbing two glasses from the draining board she heads back out to the back porch. The screen door clattering silently behind her. Wordlessly she hands over one of the glasses and bottles to Peter as she settles back beside him.

That had been an eye-open for her. The fact that vampires could consume alcohol and smoke a cigarette. Peter turned everything she knew about vampires on its head and taught her the true ins and outs. Though she had to admit, finding out that vampires could get drunk faster than shifters was just outright hilarious and she'd made fun of it for a good five minutes.

But even with the lingering humour of that memory in her mind, her thoughts easily trail back to the discussion she'd just had with Peter. If discussion was the right word to use, given it was simply an unobstructed view into the shit she was concealing inside. Someone on the outside looking in and pulling forth everything she had buried, everything she was placating inside her thoughts.

Skylar had a lot of thinking ahead of her, and it wasn't something she could truly ignore as right now she was her pack's weakest link. All of her personal shit that was stirring up inside of her was stopping her from being a strength for her pack. It was stopping her from being a strength for her mate and child. She couldn't bury any of it anymore. She had to face it.

Peter was right in the regards it was time for her to grow up, to let the stupid veil of youth fall away and sort out her emotions. She also had a lot of shit to sort out personally if she hoped of sorting the storm she found herself astray in.

It was strange how to the outside world she looked put together, even in the military she appeared as though she was someone who was completely at ease with the situations around her. But internally, she dissected every little thing, she tore it apart, built it up and tended to completely ignore the blatant and obvious facts about herself. But to the outside world, she was calm, efficient and capable of following every order that was handed to her.

God, it was strange how she could get on a plane and be stationed in some war-torn country and not once worry about anything but getting the mission done. But give her a few weeks in her home town and she was falling apart at the seams. A few weeks of facing her past head on and she was losing her well-worked control, she was almost remeniscent of that girl she'd been the last time she had been home.

"Look Major, the shit tha's going on in ya head. It's a long standing problem. Ya can't solve it in a day. Righ' nah, ya pack needs ya. And dontcha worry sug, 'm here ta help where 'm needed."

She nods idly as she forgoes the glass and drinks straight from the bottle. Her thoughts too busy churning as she sorts her thoughts into two lists. The stuff she needed to handle now, and stuff that could be handled at a later date. As Peter was right, yes she had stuff going on, but she couldn't solve it in a day. Not when she was someone who was highly stuck in her ways.

She'd had a lecture, now it was time for decisions.

- ʚɞ -

A / N: Reviews are love and highly appreciated- So I am completely amused at how Peter - became the voice of your reviewers - he filled Skylar in on the things you've been shouting at her in the reviews. It wasn't planned but it's my way of letting you all know I do read each and every review. And well, Peter is the only blunt bastard that could outdo Skylar's stubbornness. So this chapter is for all of you !

And yeah this might be a little bit of an indulgence chapter. Someone getting Skylar to think and sort out her thoughts and get started towards fixing things.