Ellen is dead.
She's gone.
It was all I could think of as Drake ran out onto the grassy field and up the battered hill to our position. As he crested the hill, I looked at him as he tore off his helmet and spat on the floor. Dumping it on the floor with a fury I hadn't seen.
"Defensive positions!" he spat and glared at James and Albert, "NOW."
I looked about, my mouth hanging open as the rest of Alpha-One put their heads down and got to work. Naomi finally re-joined us and looked directly at Drake, who shook his head. Her faceplate glanced at the boys and they shrivelled up.
Cowards…
"Alpha-One?"
"Go ahead, Redoubt." Drake said, glaring at James and Albert.
What have you two done?
"The 314 are making good progress across the field, with a little support from you, they believe they can reinforce you in ten minutes."
"I can spare a Spartan." he said, nodding at Naomi.
"Oh, uh, yeah that should do it." came the reply. "Sit tight, Captain."
"Roger." he said, bluntly. "Maddie? Come here." he added, standing beside the ash tree.
The little area I used as my throne was gone, carved out by marines as they dug their trench, my view of the tranquil valley was a waking nightmare now and I felt dirty all of a sudden. It was as though the very ground was tainted by whatever James and Albert had done to get Ellen killed.
"Yes, Sir?" I asked hoarsely.
"I need you to focus, okay?"
"Me? I'm not the one who-"
"Just lost a close friend?" he asked, cutting right to the crux of the matter.
"But-"
"But nothing. There's the mission and there's failure, okay? I'm ready to leave this bloody planet, as I'm sure you are too. Ellen died for the mission, make it count, yeah?"
I nodded.
"I-I'm sorry..." I said, meekly, "She was just..." I removed my helmet and wiped my eyes. "She was good to me." I added, replacing the helmet.
"I know, Lass, I know" he said softly. "Let's kill some aliens and get you home, shall we?"
I grabbed my rifle and reloaded it, Drake smiled through his depolarised helmet and nodded in affirmation. We waited, watching grunts line up to the entrance to the cut as the wraiths bombarded the hedgerow that divided the field from the roundabout. Grunts poured forward and I fired first, squeezing the trigger as it waddled out onto the field. Behind us, Naomi opened up with the machine gun, assisting the Marine advancing behind us. Jack's rifle jumped, sending a round flying into the lead wraith and knocking its cockpit open. A second round killed the drive and sent it droning onwards to the hedgerow where it crashed, exploding into a piercing blue light. An officer charged the slope and I took aim, putting my sights to his chest and squeezed, feeling the rifle laugh as it cracked the Elite's shields wide open. Again, using all the skill I possessed, my fingers worked the mechanical bolt of the competition rifle.
Straight pull backwards.
Let the casing clear.
Push it back.
Sight the target.
Squeeze.
The bullet skewered the Elite through the top of its head to the bottom of its tail as he attempted to climb a steep section of the incline, his body tumbling downwards and clattering into several Kig-Yar, who were finished off by Drake, gunning them down as they tried to scramble to their feet. I searched for the Wraiths but they had backed off, staying out of range and firing probing shots at our position.
A blood-raged brute watched his brother take a grenade to the leg and roared, holstering his spike gun and pounding up the hill on all fours like some great shaved ape. I brought my gun to bear and sighted him, slowing my breathing as he charged upwards to our right. The gun jolted and I watched as the bullet clipped the brute's ankle, a red mist erupting from below him, the animal howled and slipped. It tried to stand but couldn't, I'd obviously hit a tendon, and almost smiled as it tried to bound up the slope. I wasn't in the mood for dwelling and I didn't think twice as I slotted it between the eyes. This didn't feel like war, it felt like sport. I fired and missed a Grunt as it waddled around, trying to flee.
Crouching low and dipping my hand into the ammo pouch, I grabbed a set of clips and shoved them back into my rifle with a hard click. Slamming the bolt forward as I rose, an elite pounced over me and bundled into someone, trying to claw at it and kill it with some kind of wrist saw.
I didn't think, I moved, yanking the hatchet from its sheath and charging the giant beast, extending my arm out above my head as it roared into my comrade's face, and at the sky. I planted my feet and swung the hatchet downwards. Its shields popped, exploding in a small and dazzling blur. The blade grunted and the Elite groaned. As I tugged on the hatchet, it came free, a thin smear of purple-blue blood on its edge. The beast turned and growled but it was too late. With a deft swipe, I slammed it into the Elite's throat, bursting it wide open as it passed clean through its soft and exposed neck-flesh.
I glared at him as he checked himself for damage, desperate to make sure that he was alive.
"T-thanks'" James said, looking up at me, bruises showing on his neck already.
There was nothing to be said to him, not until I knew what happened. I offered him a hand and he took it sheepishly.
"Get back in line." I said, pushing him to the others.
Looking back towards the castle, I saw that Naomi had been watching, she nodded her approval and went back to picking off Covenant behind us. I realised then, that Ellen was a true soldier. She was full of potential and relentlessly loyal. Through every moment I had known her, she was a sea of calm and reliability. Drake ordered her to accompany us through hell and not once had she questioned that. She knew what he was, of course, but that had never stopped her or given her pause. She was everything a warrior could be, and I think that even Naomi had seen that. The way she had remained silent, the way her faceplate had fixed on the two men guilty for her death made that clear.
It's a good job SPARTANs can keep a lid on things.
All I knew was that if Naomi had beaten the pair of them into a thin red paste, I wouldn't bother clearing it up.
With a deep breath I sheathed the hatchet and crouched low, returning to my position behind the ash tree.
"Everything alright?" Drake asked, his eyes and weapon not leaving the direction of the enemy.
"I handled it, how long until the 314 are here?" I asked, wanting to be done with this.
He checked his watch, "Five minutes, keep firing, I'll get an update from Naomi."
I nodded and rose to my feet, pumping a brute's belly full of lead as it marshalled troops up the hill.
"Maddie!" Jack shouted over the TeamSpeak, "Jackals on my right, they're pinning me, can you get them?"
"On it!" I replied, spotting the four of them advancing up the hill like a roman turtle. Using the Ash tree for cover I stood straight and rested my rifle on the marbled mud and gravel in front of me. The one standing in the middle, on the right, had gotten complacent. Lulled into a false sense of security, or fatigued from the slow trek up the hill, it's shield was lower, revealing his head. Again, I breathed deeply and looked down the sights, focusing on its skull. It turned a little as the bullet flew from the barrel, flying through its eye and tearing the front of its face from its head. The sudden absence of one of them stunned the trio, the outermost was now exposed and threw itself to the side, giving me an excellent view of its back as I slid the bolt back into place. The gun bucked and the alien yelped, slumping in the burned gravel as its friends looked to his corpse. By now, Jack had noticed the fire had waned and took aim, shooting one of them through the arm, tearing it off with the sniper's massive power. The last one backed off as his shield was peppered with fire from Drake and the other's with SMG's.
Far in the distance, I watched Erun watch from behind the Wraith's, whose shots began to land at the lip of our redoubt. He still wanted us alive, I realised, as he directed them to throw up dirt around the front of our defences, masking his troops behind the dust and glass sand thrown up by the bombardment. Every bullet counted as the siege intensified, with Elites and Brutes making their way to within a few metres of the pit.
"Naomi, we need you here!" Drake shouted.
Naomi, much like Ellen, didn't hesitate and she was on us in a flash, the turret torn from its mounting and grasped in her massive hands as though it were a child's toy. She vaulted six feet and stood on the rise, using the ash tree for cover, gunning down swathes of enemies as they charged us down. Grunt after grunt rushed her, and soon a mounting pile of bodies lay at her feet, or tumbling down the hills towards the wraith's, which refused to creep any closer.
I crouched, reloading my rifles as I watched her, in all her warrior-goddess glory, unfazed by plasma and the shards of pink crystal exploding off of her cover and minigun. She was the eye of the storm and our saviour as she beat the Elite's back, corpse after corpse rolling down the hill towards the mass of charging covenant.
There was a part of me that remained aware of the situation, as I systematically finished off the Elites that Naomi broke the shields of. We had fallen into a machine-like rhythm and that waking part of me looked out at the sea of enemy forces before us and wondered if this was what it was like to be a Rockstar, or a musician in a stadium filled with fans.
"Friendlies on your six!" A voice cried.
As I ducked a plasma round and reloaded, I saw the men and women of the 314 clamber over the side of the trench and rush forward. At first a handful, and then, more and more until the position was manned by a number of Marine platoons. They brought our salvation, heavy rockets fired from their launchers, battering the wraiths, which couldn't contest the position any more. I watched as an army rose to meet them, decimating their number, charging the open ground. Erun stood watching me, turning with a grim look on his face and giving the order to retreat. Within moments, the mass before us panicked and turned, those at the front were gunned down as they ran for cover. I simply smiled as a friendly looking Major arrived to assess the situation. My body gave out and I collapsed, breathing heavily as Ellen's death truly confronted me.
She's gone.
Taken, not because of enemy action… but cowardice.
Looking around, I saw Drake discussing something with the Major and Naomi.
"Damn it, Kid." Jack said, hobbling to me. "I think we might have done it." he was grinning from ear to ear.
"A few of us anyway."
Jack sighed. It was stewed in disappointment as he removed his helmet and glanced at James and Albert in the corner of the pit, watching the conversation with dead eye's. "It broke him." Jack said, "ONI took-" Jack paused, "he thinks that ONI abducted his uncle. When his grandfather lost his oldest son, their lives fell apart, James… looked everywhere for someone to blame."
"And he settled on ONI" I whispered.
"He did." Jack replied, shaking his head.
"Not good enough." I said, remembering Ellen. "She deserved better."
Jack looked at me as though he wanted to say something but he kept quiet, probably figuring that I needed to mourn. The Major nodded, his brow furrowed, and Naomi stalked over to the pair, who shrunk in on themselves out of fear for the hulking warrior. The men of the 314 watched with disgust as they were handcuffed and pushed towards the far side of the pit, facing the Castle. Drake removed his helmet and turned as several marine platoons vaulted over the side and began to clear the corpses, ready to reinforce the position. He motioned for me to come over and I pulled myself to my feet.
"So… you're Miss Harper" the Major said as I approached.
"Yes." I looked at Drake, who looked as though he'd aged a few years since this morning. "Uh-Sir." I added, remembering where I was.
The Major smiled, painfully. "Your friends have been charged with disobeying a direct order."
"The plan was to pull back one by one, standard fighting retreat. Each of us covering the other. Private Stoots and Corporal Davenport abandoned myself and PFC Ellen Staggs, resulting in the Private's death. Her sacrifice and her performance in this mission was… beyond admirable." Drake spoke mechanically, filling me in on what had happened.
Those sons of…
"They've asked that you speak to their defence." the Major said, bluntly.
I stared at them, open mouthed under my helmet. "They expect me to defend them?"
"They say they didn't trust the Captain's orders. That they thought he was going to abandon them to keep you safe."
They've lost their damned minds!
"Even if that was the Captain's intent, I don't think it would matter. Isn't the point of rank that you have someone to obey, without question?"
The Major agreed. "I suspect that HIGHCOM and ONI will see it the same way."
"It's a shame we stopped shooting traitors and deserters." I spat, looking them dead in the eye.
The Major and Drake shared a glance.
"Alright, Lass, that's enough." Drake said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "What do we do next, Sir?"
"We set up a new front line here" he said, gesturing to the long rise of the valley, "as for you, I'll arrange for some of my reserves to head back with you, escort you to the Castle. Colonel Sanderson is eager to get you out of her hair so that regular operations can resume."
Drake shook the man's hand. "Thanks Major, we'll be happy to oblige, as well. I hate this planet."
"Me too" I said, without thinking.
The burly Scotsman looked down on me with sad eyes and smiled. "You're dismissed, lass, go make sure Sergeant Braeburn and Percy are okay."
I looked at the pair of them and nodded, turning to return to my unit.
"Oh, and Miss Harper?" the Major said, making me spin in place.
"Yes, sir?"
"Stay away from the prisoners. I want them locked up without any holes in them."
"Yes, Sir, of course." I said, turning away.
Percy was checking Jack's wounds and oddly enough, Naomi stood huddled beside them, as though she didn't like anyone else, or was avoiding their staring. It was only natural, I supposed, she stood out like a sore thumb. They were quiet, my unit, even as the world around them rumbled with faraway explosions or the hustle and bustle of Marines trying to hastily reinforce this old trench. Akron sighed and pulled Jack to his feet just as I reached him, taking my hand to steady himself.
"What about your injuries?" he asked, grimacing.
I shrugged. "Honestly, not what's on my mind right now."
A medic offered to take a look at us but I shooed him away, when I had first met Ellen, she was acting medic for her unit.
Too close to home.
"I could look at it" Naomi said, taking my battered arm in her hands.
"S-sure" I said, "Shame about Ellen..." I added, awkwardly.
Naomi didn't pause but she did depolarise her helmet, looking me deep in my eye. She was truly beautiful, a warrior, and a goddess.
"I liked her." she said, softly. "We survived for almost a month together. Thought she was annoying at first but… she was always ready, never needed help, but always offered it."
Jack nodded, "She called you a gnome." he said, a sad grin on his tawny face.
Naomi chuckled, "she did, and so did you" she said, looking down at me.
"Sorry" I said blushing, "I didn't even ask if it annoyed you."
"Ah, I think you've more than earned the right. All of you." she said, looking at us. "You especially, Maddie"
"Me?"
"You took out an Elite with an axe on your own. That's pretty badass."
I looked at Jack and Percy, who nodded, smiles on their faces. Underneath my helmet, I beamed with pride, I had been pretty badass.
Ellen would have thought so.
"She was my favourite out of the lot of you." Percy said, barely hiding a smile.
"What about me?" I asked, "I was really enjoying bossing you about."
"That's why she edged it," he said, dryly.
We all laughed at that and the tension broke a little.
"So is my arm okay?" I asked Naomi as she let it go, gingerly.
"Unfortunately, you'll live." she said playfully, punching my arm.
Damn… that hurt!
"Hey, look up there." Percy said, gazing up at the sky, which unfurled out before us like a great glowing sea.
I strained my eyes, searching the darkening sky for whatever it was that Percy was looking at. For a moment I was lost in the skybox, its beauty was breath-taking. The waning moments of summer fought to keep the sun teetering on the horizon for as long as it possibly could, defiantly clawing at the edges of the sky, refusing to die.
Do not go quietly into that good night.
I thought of the sun, trying to stay awake. Trying to fight the inevitable, like in one of Maggie's favourite poems. Then, in front of a star, a little black rifle shape eclipsed it.
A ship!
"Is that the navy?" I asked, excitedly, "they've come back?"
Naomi looked up with her hi-tech helmet and confirmed it. "Looks that way." she said, picking up a discarded DMR and clipping it to her back. She seemed to notice that most of the Marines were staring at her and looked about awkwardly.
"You're not used to the fame, are you?" Jack asked as Drake called us back over.
"It's flattering, but SPARTANs were never meant to be celebrities." she replied, quietly leaning towards him so that the Marines wouldn't hear. Drake was stood by the prisoners and told us to wait there while the escort platoon arrived to take us back to Orest Valley Castle. Their conversation was lost on me however, I was too concerned with the sky. Flashes brightened the dimming orange hue and soon the sky was filled with an enormous fleet, hovering like a vigil over the sky, mourning the fall of the planet. Part of me wanted Alex or Grandpa to be up there, watching down at me, guiding me home. Another part of me hoped they weren't because I had seen first-hand what the covenant could do to our ships.
"What did you say about us?" Asked a voice I didn't want to hear.
I ignored him.
"Maddie, come on, what's going to happen?" James asked, scowling in the direction of Captain Drake.
"We had no choice, you know." He reasoned. "Drake was gonna leave us there, we were gonna die like those Navy guys a-and like all those ODST"
"You don't know what he intended at all." I said tersely.
"You're taking his side?"
"Yeah, actually. I am. Because of you two, Ellen is dead. If you'd followed your orders, she might still be alive."
"Maddie, you don't understand. He's ONI, that's what they do, divide and conquer. Misdirected and misinformation is their MO."
James looked to Jack for support but the Sergeant shook his head. "Don't look at me. You blew it, the Kid's right."
"I'd have thought you'd understand after what happened on the highway." James said, shaking his head.
"You're a goddamned hypocrite. After that you told me to cool it because you saw that I wasn't thinking right. Now, you sit there and accuse me of not understanding you?" Jack laughed, "I'm just sorry you turned out to be a lesser man than I thought you were.
I could see that hurt. The two men had been through a lot together, survived the loss of their entire company together and James had always respected the sergeant. Now, they could even look each other in the eyes.
"You're pretty quiet." I said, glaring at Albert.
"What is there to say?" He replied with a sad shake of the head.
"Sorry?"
He smirked, "I'm sorry you got caught up in this, Frau, I'm sorry that ONI has dug its little claws into you."
I frowned.
"She… she was your best friend. You got her killed and you don't care."
"Of course, I care!" He said, his eyes red and puffy, "who the hell do think I am?" he asked incredulously, his accent thickening. "You weren't there for that month, he showed no remorse, for any of it. You expect me to die for that?"
"If you'd done your job properly you wouldn't have. It's a calculated risk, Albert, he's not blindly sacrificing our men like their poker chips!"
"Oh, and I suppose you understand him completely then, do you?" he shook his head, "Mein Gott"
"You told me about fighting for the greater good. What is worth sacrificing for it, parking your moral objections for what's pragmatic!" I was frothing at the mouth now, "And now you bloody sit there, as though all of a sudden that isn't true anymore! What the hell happened to the Albert that had such unshakable beliefs?"
"He changed his mind." he replied, his accent growing thicker as he grew angrier, "he changed his mind when a fleet was sacrificed without a care in the world. I may be pretty green for an ODST but I know when a sacrifice isn't worth it. I wasn't going to die for a crystal ball."
"That crystal ball is going to save millions from a covenant invasion. The fleet in the sky was massive, but they're soldiers, sacrifice is their job. Civilians didn't choose that. You fight for them, you said? Well your cowardice put that at risk, and it got my friend killed."
"You think all that death is worth it, don't you?" he asked, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
"I do" I replied, folding my arms.
"Well, you'll make a fine murderer one day, Frau." his face was dark and his eyes serious.
I didn't even flinch, not when his eyes met my own and not when Jack glanced at me, remembering our conversation about moron's and murderers. My choice was made. There wasn't any doubt anymore. Men as strong as Albert and James couldn't make the decisions I could, I was like Drake, Naomi, and Ellen, I was a warrior and one that would thrive in the shadows.
I smiled and crouched down to Albert's level.
"You're right, Albert." I said, gazing right into his eyes, "I'm not; but the day that I am, you better not be around or I will make damned sure you don't survive the meeting."
He swallowed; but refused to break eye contact until Jack pulled me up and away from the pair. The other marines watched the encounter cautiously, enamoured by a strangely dressed cadet with the odd rifle, and ODST helmet berate one of their own with a fearsome looking SPARTAN for back up.
"You're scary." Naomi said, cheekily, "I'm almost glad you're not a SPARTAN."
"I think he was more scared of you standing behind me" I laughed back, grinning up at her faceplate, which she depolarised in a rare display of intimacy. Albert and James looked like shells of their former selves and I wondered what would happen to the pair of them. Part of me longed for the days of damned postings, the forlorn hope's and Les enfants perdus of the old European armies. They deserved it, to be thrown against the enemy like water onto rock. A distraction, or a feint designed to trick the enemy or give others a better chance of success.
It would be fitting.
The other Marines were mostly repairing the defences, making the position ready for the enemy who, even now, could be seen regrouping for another go at it. We would need to be clear of this place soon or we would get sucked into more combat.
"They're not going to give up, are they?" Jack sighed, noticing exactly what I had.
"Erun knows I'm here and..." I trailed off.
"What?"
I laughed, "I don't think I'm allowed to say."
"Oh, come on, kid" he laughed.
My mouth opened to tell him that Erun needed humans to access forerunner artifacts but he held up his hand to stop me.
"Don't worry about it, I get it." he sighed and glanced at James, who sat dully, his head drooping into his hands like melted sugar as it cooled. "After all this, I think I'm starting to learn when to shut my mouth."
"Yeah, right" I said, grinning.
A young man marched smartly up to Drake, who was still talking with the Major and snapped to attention. He was very young. The young officer couldn't be much older than me, of course he was at least 18, but beyond that? Who could have said, he could easily pass for one of the taller boys in my own grade at school, I thought as Drake nodded at him and then at us, stood aside from the rest of the men? It was only when the boyish officer frowned at the sights of us that I noticed how battered we looked. Two prisoners, an aging ex-security chief, a marine that looked as though he'd been dragged through barbed wire backwards, a SPARTAN, and a child playing dress-up.
We really are an odd sort. Ellen would have still managed to look normal; she always had a habit of looking the part, through sieges and on the run, she really was the complete soldier. A SPARTAN in all but name…
And biology.
It hurt to know that James' gripe actually held merit. He would never know of course, and if I wanted to find out who thought stealing children's futures from them was a good idea, I would need to stay quiet. ONI wouldn't take someone that spilled secrets. Least of all over something as minor as sentimentality.
No, I've made my choice.
With a strange pang of sadness, I looked at James as he was hauled to his feet by some other young marines. Albert was yanked up as well and pushed towards a little ladder that led up the wall of the pit and over to the valley.
"Hey!" a voice shouted from behind me, "where did you get that?" it sounded angry and as I turned, a fresh-faced Marine gripped me. My body jerked, flooding with adrenaline again as I tried to spin away.
The grip was Iron, and I yanked him forward, bringing a knee to his gut as I lashed out. I wasn't thinking, and I wasn't looking as I lashed at the young Marine, my breathing ragged. Around me, shouts broke out but I wasn't listening I was a whirlwind of panic and with all the strength I had, I scrapped at the Marine.
He grappled me and we rolled until he was behind me, locking me in place.
"Harper!" A voice called and instantly, I was released.
"What?" I snarled.
"Yes Sir!" He had said.
Wait.
"What?" We asked, scrambling to our feet.
The entire camp had paused, watching the commotion unfurl until several Sergeant's barked orders at them. The Marine scrambled away from me, and then, I clocked it.
It's him!
A big smile erupted along my face as I took him in, the jawline and cheeks were familiar, and the eyes were the same icy blue as mine.
"Mads?" He asked, cautiously, "is that you?"
I grinned, a smile as wide as an ocean, and as deep as one too. Slowly, and with all the grace I usually had, the helmet fell away.
"Hey, P" I said, sheepishly, "Sorry for uh… kicking you."
He grinned and pulled me in for a hug, which I returned happily, pulling him tight to my chest. It lasted forever, as we lost ourselves in the familial love, we shared for each other. The world, even as night loomed, seemed bright and vibrant, as though the destruction in the valley below and beyond were not the harsh war-like reality laid out for me over the last weeks but instead a caricature of war, in which everything had a happy ending.
My brother looked me up and down as we pulled away from each other. "Is that..." he looked me up and down, "my cadet uniform?"
I blushed, "uh yeah" I said, awkwardly. "I killed an Elite with your axe, too." I said, pulling the small hatchet from its sheath.
"You've been busy then?" he said, looking at it.
"Don't you want it back?" I said, still holding the damned thing.
Preston smiled, "Naw, it's not regulation," he said, tapping the scary looking knife on his chest. "Besides, it sounds like it has done you some good."
I placed the axe back in its holster and picked up my rifle.
"Like you wouldn't believe." I replied, smiling,
"I don't know, after these last few weeks, I could believe anything."
"Amen" I said, looking up at the fleet hovering in the sky.
Amen indeed, big brother.