"Good morning, everybody! Did you all enjoy breakfast?"

Ten seconds in and Steven was already annoyed out of his mind. Vexy had parked the wheelchair beside where Kevin had sat down, much to both of their displeasure; Kevin was shifting slightly every so often, sparing him uncomfortable glances once in a while, though Steven wasn't entirely sure why. He had been fine at breakfast, but now he just seemed uneasy. The hybrid, of course, wasn't entirely comfortable himself; but it had less to do with Kevin and more to do with the other people in the room. He surveyed them all silently, grimacing a little at the stares he received in response. Given their glances and occasional murmuring to each other, he could see that they were pretty familiarized with one another, and seemed to recognize that he was the new addition. And the looks he was getting, while not hostile, were unsettling.

A few mumbles were passed around after the question was asked - by a man sitting near the door, closing off the circle that the patients had formed with their own seats. He wore a smile as he pushed his glasses up his nose and looked around the room, though the lack of agreement from the patients seemed to deteriorate his mood a little. Steven couldn't keep his lips from tugging upwards a little, amused despite himself, but he didn't say anything. The food wasn't exactly the best, he doubted anybody in their right mind had actually enjoyed it, right?

Just as this thought crossed his mind, one of the patients raised their hand. They seemed to be about Steven's age - maybe a little older? The hybrid couldn't tell, nor did he care to. "I think I speak on behalf of all of us when I say no, nobody enjoyed it, the food was literal garbage?"

This time the murmuring in response did sound like agreement, and Steven, once again, found a dry sense of amusement twisting in his chest as he studied the other kid. Beside him, Kevin huffed out a laugh under his breath, low but loud enough for Steven to hear it, and it only served to add to his growing amusement. "Hear, hear," the man piped up, tilting his head back and letting it hang over the back of his chair briefly, while the other patients in the circle chuckled. "Even my mother could make better food, and she doesn't even know how to cook."

"I don't know, guys, I didn't think the pancakes were as horrible as the last time," another patient mentioned, and another ripple of laughter echoed through the room. Steven spared a glance toward the doctor, somewhat expecting to see some irritation or disappointment, something of the sort, but he only looked amused as he tapped his fingers against his clipboard. Honestly, he was just surprised to see anybody present in a good mood - doctors and nurses included. Even Kevin seemed unnaturally chipper (as much as was possible, anyway). Steven, himself, was somewhat amused by the jokes being passed around, finding some of his anxiety had eased. At the very least, he didn't feel as nervous about interacting with these people, though he was still dreading having to speak up and say anything. Of course, unfortunately, he wasn't lucky enough to escape being in the spotlight, because the patient spoke up again, "so who's the new kid?"

The kid his age looked up, an intrigued look replacing the amusement written across their face, and Steven found himself sinking back a little with a grimace. "Good question. Hi, who're you?"

Steven grimaced slightly as gazes flicked in his direction, the intense stares returning and once again managing to make him feel equal measures uncomfortable and aggravated at the same time. He found himself wanting to snap, and scream and yell - anger, blind anger welled up in his chest, threatening to swallow him whole until he gave in and lost himself to the rage building up. There wasn't even any real reason to it, nor was it directed at anybody in particular - and it vanished, just like that, as quick as it had come and without any warning beforehand, when Kevin of all people piped up. "Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Asshole Universe."

Most of the patients roared with laughter, while Steven struggled against a rush of amusement of his own, sparing a slightly surprised glance in Kevin's direction. He caught the wink that was directed toward him, only further intensifying his confusion; not only had Kevin (most likely unknowingly) just saved him and everyone from a fit of rage that would have most certainly not ended in the favor of anyone present, but he had actually remembered his whole name - which, Steven knew, more than anything, was not an easy thing to memorize. He found himself huffing out a quiet laugh - more so at his own thoughts than anything - but he quickly turned his attention back to the others when the doctor spoke up, with a few chuckles of his own. "Well, I think maybe we should stick with just calling him 'Steven' for now, the rest is a bit of a mouthful." He offered Steven a smile, lifting his hand to adjust his glasses, and Steven's amusement faded rather quickly at the action that reminded him far too much of Garnet for comfort. "Is that okay?"

Steven grunted, once again struggling against a rush of anger, this one less blind and more directed toward one person - who wasn't even there. It was easier to calm himself down, curling his hands into fists in his lap briefly before quickly peeling his fingers apart one by one, knowing that if he got caught doing anything they disapproved of, he'd likely be sentenced here longer.

"Are you mute?" The kid from before blurted out, and Steven fixed his gaze on them, more intrigued than anything. And this time, he studied them a little more intently than before; green eyes, black hair, really pale skin - the kid also had dark circles under their eyes, but they seemed wide awake regardless; in fact, they looked almost hyper as they bounced one knee up and down and directed their gaze to Kevin, speaking directly to the man now, "is he mute?"

"No," Steven answered this time, and the kid turned back to him quickly. "I'm not."

"Oh." The kid didn't seem fazed, speaking quickly again with a neutral expression now, in contrast to the earlier amusement and fascination they had displayed prior. "Okay, cool."

Beside Steven, Kevin snorted and leaned over slightly to mumble to the hybrid, "excuse Parker here, he lacks something most human beings have called tact." And Steven chose to ignore the irony of Kevin being the one to say something like that, only managing to crack a grin at the words, and at the middle finger that Kevin received in response before one of the nurses stepped in to ease the kid back a little, despite Parker not quite looking hostile at all. In fact, Steven noticed, there were several nurses hovering around him, tense and on guard.

The doctor cleared his throat, directing everyone's attention back to him again. "Let's try and keep everything friendly in here, alright?" He smiled at Kevin, and then at Parker, speaking again before either of them could object - and both of them looked like they were ready to - "First, I'd like to officially welcome Steven to the group," he began, lifting a hand to gesture toward Steven, who narrowed his eyes slightly. "I'm Dr. Landen, or Jacob, as some of my patients prefer to call me. Regardless, we're happy to have you here, and I, personally, hope I can help make your experience in the facility as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Before we begin, do you have any questions regarding the facility or otherwise?"

Steven fell silent for a moment, genuinely considering that, then shook his head and leaned his head back with a sigh. Well, Dr. Landen seemed nice, at least, so that was good. If nothing else, he didn't feel as angry as he had before when he looked at him - which was even better, because the human hadn't even been the target of his anger regardless. "Nope."

Dr. Landen nodded, then smiled again, clasping his hands together and leaning forward slightly. "Well, then, let's get started."

Oddly enough, community group - or 'morning group', as Dr. Landen called it - wasn't so bad. At least in the sense that it could have been worse. He didn't have to do much of anything except at the beginning, when Dr. Landen asked each of the patients in turn what goal they had set for the day, and to use one word to 'describe how they're feeling'. (Steven decided he didn't have a goal, and that he was feeling 'tired', since it was the easiest emotion to pinpoint regardless). He wasn't the only one who said it, either, which was actually somewhat comforting in the long run. And, of course, they went over schedules. Psychiatrist (or therapist) meetings at nine, art therapy at ten to eleven, free time, lunch at around twelve-thirty, and then visiting hours…

Honestly, he zoned out through most of it. At least, until the part both he and Kevin were dreading finally came up; the patients had to take turns explaining why they were there. Steven was at full attention during this, however - mostly because he genuinely wanted to know why everyone was here, because none of them seemed particularly 'crazy', which was somewhat surprising and a little confusing, since everything he'd heard about mental hospitals (admittedly mostly from television) had been a bit misleading. A few of them were there for depression, understandable. Some for anxiety. Some for 'manic episodes' or 'schizophrenia' - like the patient that had spoken up before, who had said that 'the pancakes hadn't been horrible'.

Parker's story was a little more interesting, if not somewhat surprising. "Homicidal ideation," he had explained with a shrug, "I hit my dad with his car. Didn't kill him. Honestly, I expected to end up in prison for attempted murder, but I guess he didn't wanna deal with going through the trouble of taking it to court, because he ended up ruling me as 'insane' and admitting me here."

"Damn," Steven mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. And then it was Kevin's turn.

For a while, the man only rubbed his hand over his face, seeming somewhat irritated. It took about a minute for him to finally muster up the nerve to speak, and Steven, despite himself, ended up just rooting his gaze to the ceiling, since the man already had enough eyes fixed on him as it was - and he knew how stressful this was. He was starting to stress, and it wasn't even his turn yet. "Suicide attempt," Kevin finally muttered, a harsh tone entering his voice, lacking fire but absolutely burning at the same time. "Drug overdose." And that was that, he fell silent.

Steven flicked his gaze back over to Kevin after a moment, somewhat surprised by that last part. But the man had his eyes shut now, ignoring everybody; Steven couldn't help but wonder how much he had to say that in front of people - in front of the same people, it seemed, because nobody else seemed particularly surprised, turning their gazes to the hybrid after a moment. The patient beside Kevin extended her arm toward him slightly, as if to comfort him, but he pulled away when she made contact, and she retracted her hand just as quickly with a sigh. Dr. Landen cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses again - Steven's jaw twitched, fighting back a wave of irritation - and spared the teenager what was meant to be an encouraging look.

Ah, right. It was his turn. The hybrid stayed still, keeping his gaze lingering on the doctor for a while to avoid the gazes fixed on him, the intrigued looks on everyone's faces. His turn to tell everybody that he'd tried to kill himself, that he'd crashed his car on purpose. At least he didn't actually have to explain why; nobody else had done so, so he figured he might be able to get by without an explanation too. Steven curled his hands up again, digging them into his shorts lightly and finally taking a quick look around, scanning the faces briefly before turning back to Kevin.

The man had opened his eyes again - but, like Steven had done before, he had his gaze rooted to the ceiling. Steven wasn't sure whether or not he had seen him before and was showing him the same respect due to the amount of stares he was already being given, or if Kevin genuinely didn't care. Either way, surprisingly, it took some of the weight off of his shoulders and allowed him enough time to think before he spoke, choosing his words carefully. "Suicide attempt," the hybrid began slowly, shifting slightly where he sat and fixing his gaze on his hands with a frown. "I crashed my car on purpose… and self harm, I guess," he added after a second thought.

Silence followed for a good few seconds, and Steven squeezed his eyes shut, genuinely wondering what the big deal was - he wasn't the only one there for a suicide attempt, so why the hell were they still staring at him? Had he said something wrong? Had he not done it right? He thought he'd done it right. He'd literally just followed everyone else's example. Was he actually supposed to explain why, because he was new? Was he supposed to say something else?

Then they continued, and Steven felt the tension drain, shoulders drooping slightly as he heaved out a sigh of relief, blinked his eyes open again and let his head fall back.

So, all in all, no, it wasn't so bad. Actually, he hated to say it, but it was actually not bad at all. Aside from explaining that he was suicidal, it actually felt oddly normal. Well- normal in the sense that he wasn't actually surrounded by crazy people like he'd expected to be. Hell, some of the people there were actually… sane. At least, they seemed like it. He was a little iffy about Parker, but he couldn't exactly say he didn't relate on some level. Hell, he had committed actual homicide, and had attempted to murder the gems on… two occasions now, was it? Either way, yeah, Parker wasn't the only one there on homicidal ideation - but considering that the kid had several nurses watching him and Steven was already getting fed up with just one, he figured maybe it was a good idea to keep that to himself for the time being. He wasn't about to risk having to have any more 'supervision' than he was already getting. One 'stalker' was enough.

By the time it was over - they had ended on a pretty good note, with more jokes about the food since lunch had been brought up a second time (and one of the patients fell out of their chair laughing when they were told that they'd be having pizza for lunch) - Steven was actually somewhat amused. Oddly enough, he found himself biting back laughter every now and again, managing brief smiles that didn't feel all too forced, and he even joined in a little on the jokes when it was announced that the pizzas they served were square, of all shapes ("hey, there will come a time when you learn to appreciate all pizza"), and, boy, he almost had them all roaring.

Even Vexy seemed to notice that he was in a better mood as she wheeled him out of the room, laughingly exchanging goodbyes with the other nurses. "Looks like you had fun in there, huh?"

"Fun's a bit of a stretch," Steven admitted, watching Kevin head off with Aaron, who waved a quick goodbye to Vexy as he rushed after the man. He caught Parker's gaze as the boy headed down the hall with two nurses tagging along behind them, though they weren't quite paying attention to him and more so focused on their own conversation; the boy stuck his tongue out, grinned, and jerked his thumb in their direction before turning and slipping down another hallway, while the nurses only continued walking for a few more steps before realizing he was gone. The hybrid couldn't hold back a laugh this time, watching them glance around frantically.

"But, uh… I don't know, it wasn't… as bad as I expected it to be, but…"

"Well," Vexy chuckled, gesturing the nurses toward the hall Parker had run down, much to their relief, as she pushed Steven along. "I'm glad it wasn't as… bad as you expected it to be then. And I hope this good mood carries over to when you meet Maria, too," she added, and Steven paused slightly at that, looking up at her. "She should be here now, actually… community group fell a little behind schedule today, since everyone decided to hate on our food." The nurse offered a little pout as she spoke, and the hybrid snorted. "But, I will admit, it was nice."

"Mm…" Steven sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Therapy…"

"Maria's a nice woman," Vexy told him, her tone softening slightly to a more sympathetic one as she huffed out a quiet laugh. "I would know, we're quite familiar with each other. She's also one of the best therapists from here to Beach City, if that tells you anything. The best, actually."

Steven didn't respond, leaning his head back. He wasn't entirely convinced - that and he was just, in general, dreading this meeting regardless. It didn't matter if Maria was nice or not. The problem wasn't whether or not she was sweet and kind and a good therapist or a good person. The problem was that she was the one he had to sit in front of and spill every single one of his bad thoughts to. She was the one he had to open up to. She was the one he genuinely had to rely on to help him here. She was everything he had been to the gems, except for him, and Steven had absolutely no idea what to do with that. No idea where to begin. No idea how much he should tell her, how much he should open up. What to say and what to do. He'd never really relied on anyone like this. He'd never relied on someone to 'fix' him, to make him 'better', to help him with his problems. This was different from the facility, and it was different from his father, and his brother. Because he was putting all of this on a stranger. All this trust in a stranger.

To fix him.

To fix something he wasn't entirely convinced could be fixed.

He couldn't fix him - and he doubted she could. Then again, apparently she was seeing other gems. Gems. And that was supposed to be his job, not some human's. How much did she know? How much had she done? Had she even helped any of them? And how, how had he not known she was doing it to begin with? Every time he thought about it, about her, and the gems, something inside of him twisted and churned, something akin to anger, or bitterness, or resentment. But it wasn't really any of that - in a sense, it was worse, because along with the burning feeling in his chest and the tight feeling in his throat, his stomach twisted and flipped with nausea, wanting to throw up and scream at the same time. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. Some part of his mind screamed hate - but that wasn't entirely accurate, either. No, he didn't hate the woman. He hadn't even met the woman, he couldn't possibly hate her. Probably.

The hybrid shook his head and blinked his eyes open again as Vexy turned the wheelchair, glancing up briefly as they entered a room. He had to bite back a groan upon seeing more than one person inside; one of which was a patient, idly kicking their feet back and forth while their blood pressure was taken, and a few nurses were hovering around the room - or sitting at desks, typing away on laptops. It was closer to an actual hospital than a mental health facility.

"Vexy!" One of the nurses cheered, looking up from her laptop briefly to flash Vexy a grin as she pushed Steven further into the room. "Welcome back. And who's this?"

Steven was genuinely growing irritated with the amount of smiles being thrown at him lately. Was this what he was like? He was starting to hate himself even more, just from the sheer realization of how overly optimistic he must have been, because he had been just like this before all this shit had gone down, hadn't he? "This," he sighed, hardly making an effort not to sound as annoyed as he felt, and refusing to meet anyone's gaze, "is Steven, hi."

"I just wanna get him checked in," Vexy explained as she reached out to smooth the hybrid's hair down, and he jerked his head slightly to the side with a grimace and glanced up at her. "He's seeing Maria today."

Steven lifted his hand to his head and frowned, running his fingers through his hair briefly. He redirected his attention back to the nurse, finally actually focusing on her - although definitely much more irritated now than he had been before - when she spoke again, typing something into the laptop with a quiet hum. "Alright. Steven, what's your last name?"

Dammit. Right, he should've said that to begin with. Idiot. "Universe."

The nurse only nodded, and Steven let his head fall back with a quiet sigh, eventually turning to scan the room again after a moment. The other patient lifted a hand to wave at him, only to fall still again when one of the nurses nudged it back down, since they were taking their blood pressure - Steven honestly couldn't help a slight snicker despite himself, rubbing his hand down his face with a sigh and offering a half-hearted wave back before he turned away again. It was kind of funny, he thought he'd have trouble getting along with the other patients here, but, as it turned out, the only people he had a problem with seemed to be the nurses and doctors. Most of the other patients were actually cool and not as crazy as he'd expected them to be. The doctors, and nurses, on the other hand? Unbearable, overwhelming, irritating, he hated it.

He bit back a scowl as Vexy pushed him closer to the other nurse's desk, watching as she pushed her own chair back and turned away briefly. Stop being so tense… he chided himself, wrinkling his nose and biting the inside of his cheek with a frown. It wasn't like this before.

Nothing's like it was before.

Ooh, no argument there, got'cha.

The hybrid sighed, furrowing his eyebrows as the nurse turned back to them, this time holding a few papers and a clipboard - and Steven was honestly sick of seeing those, too - as she pulled herself back up to the desk. "Alright, so I know you're not technically allowed to use paper, but-"

"What?" Steven interrupted without quite meaning to, irritation dissolving into confusion rather quickly at that. Paper? Since when was he not allowed to use paper? What kind of sick ass mental facility was this? The nurse glanced up and blinked at him, but even as Steven opened his mouth to say something else, anything else, really, he found himself completely speechless. Great, he should've known it wasn't actually a normal, semi-nice place. Of course it was bound to have something wrong with it other than a few overbearing nurses making sure he didn't kill himself. He didn't know why paper of all things was apparently banned, but at the same time, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. Maybe television got it all wrong. Maybe the crazy ones were actually the fucking doctors.

"... but," the nurse continued slowly, exchanging a bewildered glance with Vexy before looking back down briefly to clip the papers to the clipboard. "We do need you to fill these forms out."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Fuck 'mental health institution', this was just torture.

"These-" The nurse held the clipboard up, attaching the pen to it and handing it to him with a smile. He took the clipboard somewhat reluctantly, eyeing her for a moment as he sat back again, "-will help Dr. Roberts out with understanding the specifics of your previous evaluation forms. They're entirely confidential between you and the doc," she added, as if, Steven thought bitterly, the entire mental hospital doesn't already know I'm fucked in the head as it is. But he didn't say anything, pulling the pen off and directing his gaze to the clipboard as he leaned back, scanning the first paper briefly. It didn't take long at all for his annoyance to return, this time accompanied by a burst of pure frustration. He really didn't get the point in any of this - honestly. 'Feeling down, depressed, irritable or hopeless?' Yeah, no fucking shit, you don't exactly end up in a mental hospital for feeling okay, did you? God, did he really have to fill out a form for this?

"Seriously…" He hissed, clicking the pen and biting the inside of his cheek again, a little harder this time. He wanted to shove the clipboard right back at both of the nurses, maybe even tell them to shove it up their asses, too. He was sick of explaining these things, of answering questions about how bad he felt and how depressed he was. They already knew something was wrong with him. They already knew he needed help. What was the point in making him repeat it? Constantly? He just genuinely didn't get it. He didn't get doctors - he didn't get humans.

It's so much easier with gems, the hybrid realized, scanning the paper again and finally forcing himself to lower the pen to start filling the form out, somewhat reluctantly. And that's saying something. Nothing about helping the gems - any of them - had been easy. But it certainly hadn't been as difficult as this. But, then, he wasn't like the other gems, was he? He was a little more fucked up, that much was clear. If he really needed to go through all this, if he really needed such extensive care and all these 'extra procedures' and 'evaluations', he must be bad. The teenager gritted his teeth, hand trembling slightly as he marked down another 'x'. As he moved down to the next question ('feeling tired, or having little energy?' fuck's sake), the form seemed to blur for a second, black and white mixing as the clipboard seemed to shake in his hand; he clenched it tighter instinctively, breathing in shakily and struggling to focus again.

The blurriness let up after a moment, but his hands still shook, now more or less still somewhat dazed. And it seemed like his sight wasn't the only thing that had shut down; by the time he finally managed to focus, Vexy had her hand on his shoulder. "-ven? Kiddo? You alright?"

Steven responded with a shake of his head, pulling away slightly and staring down at the paper. It didn't take long for him to realize what had happened and why - though, he was surprised by how intense it had been that time. The pressure building in his gem was the only thing he needed to feel to understand, and while he was definitely happy that his brother was seemingly gaining more strength and control to break free, he did kind of wish he'd lay off for the moment. Especially considering he'd just attracted the attention of the nurses, and Steven didn't think 'oh yeah I have a pink brother that lives in my gem' would go down too well with either of them.

He shook his head again, more to clear his thoughts than anything, and hesitantly went back to filling the form out. He spoke up before Vexy had the chance to, changing the topic quickly before any more attention could be drawn to whatever the fuck had just happened. "I'm-" He stopped himself, jaw tensing slightly, and started over. "Why am I not allowed to have paper?"

Alright, seemed like a valid question. The nurses didn't seem too pleased with it; Vexy frowned as she stood back up, leaning against the desk with a frown, while the other woman spared the nurse nothing more than a knowing look and a brief eyebrow raise, as if to say you've got this. Vexy returned the expression somewhat mockingly, then let out a somewhat defeated sigh and turned her attention back to Steven, who quirked an eyebrow. "Well, you've been self-harming," the nurse began slowly - and, at this point, that was it. Nothing else could shock him.

"It's…" Steven stared at her for a moment, then looked back down at the clipboard, staring at the papers somewhat blankly. "It's… paper."

"Papercuts."

Oh Jesus Christ, he was wrong. The hybrid continued to stare for a moment, trailing his gaze along the length of the papers silently and lightly rubbing his thumb against the edge of one piece, genuinely taken aback now. "You… can cut yourself… with paper?" He couldn't help but marvel over that for a moment. Not just because it sounded stupid, but because it certainly said something about how fragile humans truly were. And how much he really… wasn't one of them. He furrowed his eyebrows, pressing his thumb over one of the corners of the first form before pulling back again, albeit reluctantly. His stomach twisted at the trickle of longing that crawled up his spine, the way he wanted to test it, to see how much it hurt, see how much damage he could really do. The urges were scarier now than they had been before, now that the scars on his back had already proven not to be as satisfying as they were before. Now that he felt more disgusted, more ashamed by the fact that he had hurt himself - which was something he didn't quite understand. It was kind of like how he wanted to shatter the gems, despite feeling guilty enough over shattering Jasper - he knew it wasn't going to benefit him in the long run, deep down, but it still didn't quite stop him from wanting to do it when the opportunity presented itself.

He clenched his teeth and swallowed, relieved this time when Vexy spoke again, finding something to somewhat distract himself with in the sound of her voice. "Look, it's just…" The nurse sighed, taking a few steps closer. "... it's just safety precautions. Don't get any ideas…"

Steven grimaced despite himself, looking back down. "I won't," he mumbled, heart stuttering slightly as his stomach twisted again, this time with guilt rather than fear. "It's not like I wanna be in here any longer than I have to," he added, more for his own sake than for the other two. Right, right. If nothing else, he couldn't risk having to stay here for a second longer than intended. He couldn't do anything to get himself stuck in here any longer - it had only been a day and the damn place was already driving him crazy. "If I was gonna hurt myself, I…" This time, he did falter, but only for a second. "... I would have done it by now."

And he turned back to continue filling out the forms, desperately trying to believe his own words, and silently, helplessly, hoping that even some part of himself meant it.

A/N: IT'S ALMOST THERAPY TIME WHO'S EXCITED!

I'm very, very happy with how this is turning out. And I just wanna thank everybody who's been reading and commenting and just basically everyone who likes INGAA- I see you and I love you and I thank you all 3 3 3
Gotta admit the story's taken a slightly surprising turn from what I had intended but. I love where it's heading. I really do.

Anywho, hope you enjoyed the chapter! And one more thing, I've also started another story (based off of mine and my girlfriend's AU we've been expanding for a while), called "I Am Rose Quartz", so if you guys are interested... 👀
XDDD But if not that's also okay, I'm just trying to get the story out there! Thank you for reading INGAA annnnnd next chapter coming soon! 3 3 3