Chapter Twenty

The Circle Starts Again

I kept my eyes on my surroundings the whole trip – day, night… all the time. We managed to gather a bit of Ironbark, Spider Venom, wolf pelts, royal Elfroot, dawn lotus, and other rare materials I would need for my research. I also hand crafted something highly essential for our group…

Shampoo, Conditioner and body wash – all environmentally safe and pleasantly scented for our enjoyment. It was a process, but I managed to get every batch to smell perfectly like I wanted it to. I had Rose, Embrium, Dawn Lotus, Lyrium, Forest, Honey Ale, and Vandal Aria scents. Unsurprisingly, Alistair and I were the only ones to take bottles of the Rose soaps – though no one but Alistair and the circle mages would know of my love for the flower, so since I didn't grab any when I offered some to everyone else… it was the day before we would reach the tower when I finished that.

Sten sniffed at the Honey Ale one before making a face and reaching for the Forest one. I giggled and handed him a separate bottle. He looked cautious, but gave it a sniff. He nodded firmly and kept the bottle. I beamed, "I can make some to eat too…"

He nodded, "I would like that."

Alistair coughed, "What uh…?"

"Cookies – I gave Sten soap that smells like sugar cookies."

No one dared to tease the brutish man about his tastes… He had taken to viewing all the women as men – except me, because I was a crafter and scientist. He followed my lead, and that was all I cared about.

I heard Theron fighting with Elissa one evening after I turned in… about me. "You know what this Cullen guy means to her, Elissa – you were there. What's wrong with you?"

Alistair spoke, "She's noticed it too. When we were talking the other night – she… I asked why she was pushing so hard on… on Elissa and me being together. To make a very long conversation short – she feels guilty about someone named Rory? She says that Elissa may blame her for his death – and that she'd be right."

Alim choked, "You can't blame her for that, Lis!"

"You heard Alistair – Val said I'd be right!"

"But not the way you think, Elissa… she said the only other option be letting Oren die; that the choice was Oren or Rory."

The silence was deafening. "I… Rory was…"

"I know – she told me as she cried that you hate her now. Maker, she looked so… broken."

Theron was cursing, "You're kidding right? That brat tries to make everyone happy – a fools' dream, but there you have it. I've seen her actually bend over backwards to make a child laugh. No one does more to make people smile than Val."

Kallian snorted, "She gave me fancy daggers just… for no reason other than I was Duncans' recruit. No other reason."

"Those gifts she gave us 2 weeks ago… she said she loves making people happy, but then… she didn't buy anything for herself."

Solona spoke next, "… I wonder what broke her."

"What?" Alistair asked.

"Well… I was studying books about personalities – though they called it Phycology in the book. The people who are most depressed have several symptoms that aren't glaringly obvious and can be attributed to many things actually. Some have abnormal eating or sleeping habits – we've already encountered that in her. Depression can cause people to have a very unique outlook on life too – they'll talk about their own death as a joke or… or even just as a fact of life. But one symptom that stand out… They are often uniquely talented and expressive. Artists, minstrels, scientists… and another thing; her gift giving may be a small way that she seeks love and acceptance. She says she wants smiles because it shows a happiness and acceptance."

Shit – I forgot Solona wasn't just good at physical healing. Who said Thedas could be advanced on mental illnesses? Actually, now that I think about it… the circle knew that one guy was 'sick' not possessed in DA2. Fuck.

Alim cursed, "I didn't even see it! But it does make sense, actually. Wasn't there something about 'habitual remedies' too?"

"Yes – lifestyle habits that those with depression use to treat their everyday state-of-mind. Singing, daily walks, or basically anything they know can get themselves out of a sinking set of emotions… like gift giving, I guess. Often those with depression try to stick with the positive regardless of what they're going through on the inside. I believe she may want us to not worry about her so she acts okay."

"And she really never talked about herself much – we only know what she tells us. When she came to Highever, she was so… outgoing. She showed off a little on her instrument, but only after I asked. She said her goal was just to be a scholar – that she had no interest in being part of the line of succession of Highever. I believed her – but Fergus didn't. Maker… she saved his son."

Alistair scoffed, "Do you know what she said to me last night? She said that Cullen was her only chance to have love and she was so sure she would never have him after this thing with the Tower and Torture. Now, how would she know he was her only chance unless she'd seen a multitude of options? Sure, she says he's her soulmate, but I've seen people move on from the love of their life before. The way she spoke seems like she's seen how things could end with other people…"

I walked out of my tent, "Yes, I have. I've seen a path where I was with you, Leliana or Therons' man. I've seen a path where I was with any of the people Hawke could be with. I've seen about 8 other paths. In total, that's 16 romance paths – only one could work for me and I'm pretty sure Cullen will want… someone else. Now, if you are all done talking about me, we have one long day tomorrow."

"Wait…" Solona called out.

"Yes – I have depression and Anxiety. Sten – if they continue this topic again without my being present, duel them for the waste of time."

He nodded, "As you say."

I walked back into my Aravel and went to sleep.

That morning I was the first one awake… other than the Qunari on watch duty, of course.

When it was time to get going, I grabbed my bow and slung it over my back. Sten looked at it critically, "That weapon… it is your Asala, is it not?"

"I think it must be. I have refused to leave it anywhere and always go back to using it no matter what."

He nodded as everyone else began gathering around the morning fire as I snuffed it out, "A fine one to have indeed."

"Speaking of… I hear you can do Enchantments?" Elissa asked. Sandal – they had been with us since just after Lothering – clapped and said, "Enchantment!"

I nodded, "Yes, I uh… I can… but I suggest asking Sandal if it's nothing too unique – he loves to enchant."

"What do you mean Unique?" Bodahn asked.

I handed my bow to Sandal who looked it over greedily. "Oooh, enchantment…"

"This bow will never get lost – it will be where I am. The string won't snap. It doesn't need arrows because it can shoot bolts of pure energy. I can imbue something for heavenly damage, if I wanted to – because I have a connection to the other side. I won't say exactly what, but I can do enchantments that were long thought myths. Sandal is a wonderful enchanter, though and he loves what he does. So if you need something, go to him first."

Jaws were on the floor. Sandal looked at me with a sad face, "Enchantment…"

I shrugged, "I can't guarantee you'll learn it, but I can try to show you some of them after we take care of the tower."

He smiled happily and handed back my bow. Bodahn looked confused, "You can understand him?"

I nodded, "He and I… we share a special connection – one that transcends physical bounds. He is like a brother to me, Bodahn – worry not… how did you all know?"

"Theron told us about the wood you gave to Master Ilen – that it was already enchanted."

"Oh. Well, all Seekers can enchant – it's something about the process that makes us Seekers. The similar component in the Seeker Vigil is also what allows Tranquil to enchant."

We approached the docks and I headed over to Kester, "Hey, if it isn't my favorite Ferryman – mind taking us across?"

He sighed, "I'd love to, but something's happened at the Tower – they commandeered my boat and won't let anyone across."

I nodded, "I'll check it out then."

I was stopped by someone from the Mages' Collective and took their quests before heading over to a man on the actual docks. He was wearing Templar armor and he stood a 5'8 with innocent but cocky blue eyes and shaggy blond hair.

He recognized me, "Seeker Vane! Makers' Breath… boy, I am glad to see you. Greagoir said to expect you – come on, I'll take you all across."

"Carroll, is Cullen okay?" I asked as we all began boarding the boats.

Carroll gave me a sympathetic look, "I'm not sure, Valeria – he was taken from his bed. I was there too – I saw him being dragged, unconscious, across the fifth floor. I'm sorry to say that I fled to the lower levels at once. I did hear some of them talking about how he was bait and that they couldn't risk fighting him."

I bit my lip, "I… thank you for telling me, Carroll."

I heard Greagoirs' voice before I even caught sight of the man, "And I want two men stationed within sight of that door at all times. Do not open those doors without my express consent, am I clear?"

I headed up to the man, "Commander – what's the situation?"

"Vane – thank the Maker! We've had to barricade the doors, abominations have taken control. If any are still alive, then it was the Maker himself who shielded them. It is far too painful to hope… but with you here – the woman with the strongest abilities I've ever seen… we might hold a chance."

I grinned, "Allow me to make introductions, Commander. You already know Elissa, Alim, Kallian, Theron and Solona. Duran Aeducan, Natia Brosca and Alistair Theirin are the other Grey Wardens; there is also Morrigan, a chasind of the Wilds, Sten of the Beresaad, as well as Sister Leliana Nightingale of the Imperial Court and three Mabari War-hounds. Allow us a moment to refresh our supplies and we will clear the tower… where is Cullen?"

Oren ran crying into my arms before moving to Elissa.

Greagoir was stunned at my listing but shook himself and gave me a sympathetic look. "He… he is on the other side of the barricade. If he lives… he would be a stronger man than I to live through this…"

"He lives – I just wanted to know if you knew his exact location."

He shook his head, "Unfortunately, no."

"I will rescue him, then… Greagoir – the reason we are here… we need allies against the blight. We have the ancient treaties so the mages are obliged…"

"If you can fix this mess, I will give both the mages and the Templars to your cause."

I gave him my best smile and walked over to the quartermaster, "How much for… let's say 10 health poultices and 60 arrows?"

"… 2 sovereigns for the Poultices and another 2 for the arrows." The man said. I was shocked at the steep price but looked to Elissa, "We'll give you 1 for the Poultices and 1 for the arrows."

I heard a rumbling voice, "Thatcher! Give them what they need, no charge." Greagoir called out. The man – Thatcher – flinched and handed over the items… I still slid the man some of the spider venom I'd bought at Ostagar. He looked stunned but gave me a small nod as he accepted it.

Greagoir said one more thing before we left, "If things were to go… missing while you do this… well, I expect plenty is missing or damaged already."

I nodded, "Loud and clear, Commander."

We walked through the doors and began walking. "These are the apprentice quarters – and they're clear because Wynne is a badass who's doing what she can to protect the children."

Leliana gasped in horror, "Ch… the children?"

"As you well know, Leli, Magic manifests before puberty more often than not. It can begin to show as early as 7 years old; so yes, children."

"You know, as I recall, shutting the doors and throwing away the key was definitely the Templar 'Plan B'…" Alistair commented and Elissa snorted. Sten was looking around, "This is the prison for your mages? It is much nicer than ours…"

"Sten… please, no matter what choice or path I go with here, don't interfere – I know you may not agree, but the future says that what I'm doing will be needed."

He thought for a moment… "I give you my word that I will not interfere here."

I nodded and looked to Morrigan, "If you want Flemeths' Grimoire, keep your mouth shut when I agree to help the Mages. I know you see them as cattle that allow them-selves to be corralled but I want this over with sooner rather than later. Greagoir won't even say anything if he notices we took it because he's already counting that many things will be 'lost' or 'destroyed' to pay us back."

Alistair looked amused, "You… really?"

"That's what he told me just before we came though those doors."

I shrugged and we opened the door. Wynne had just taken down a rage demon and turned to us in a defensive stance before…

"Oh… it's you, Val. Why are you here? Have the… have the Templars opened the doors?"

"Gran, thank Gaia! We're here to help, actually. We have 24 hours before they'll enact the rite of annulment if it arrives. We have to rescue Irving and kill all the abominations. I want to bring you with me to do it, but will the children be safe with…"

I was cut off when one of the mage children hugged me. I hugged her back, "Gabriella, are you alright?"

She nodded, "Better now that you're here, Val."

"Gabby, you remember Lona and Lee? Honey, I need to talk with Gran – can you fill Lona in on what's been happening since I left?"

She nodded and rushed over to Solona.

Wynne looked hesitant, "You said… Greagoir is holding off on the rite?"

"I've convinced him to give me 24 hours, so we must go now."

"… Let's go. Petra, take care of the kids," she ordered.

"Of course, Wynne… are you sure you'll be okay?" the younger red-head asked.

"I may be old, but I am still powerful enough for this."

We headed to the Barrier and she pulled it down without a word. As we moved forward she looked at me, "How did you end up leading the Wardens when you are not one?"

We began killing abominations in the library. "Commander Duncan gave me Command of this group before he died. Now they just… follow me. I suppose it helps that I helped save their lives."

She smiled at me, "That would be a good way to gain loyalty."

I handed her the pink 'memory' amulet. "Here, I got this for you about week or two ago give or take."

She looked startled and accepted the amulet with a soft gasp. "This is…"

"Amulet of Memories; I know." Elissa gave me a look as we continued through the 'Apprentice' floor.

She smiled and put it on, "Thank you child."

"Where is Cullen? I've asked everyone I could so far and no one has a solid answer."

She sighed, "Fifth floor – I hear they have him in a 'special' prison that blocks all light at night for added… effect. They've been hard on the boy too – the mages we got who had any knowledge… oh, Valeria… I swear I can hear his screams at night."

"You've been keeping the kids in the Dojo, right?"

She nodded, "Yes, why?"

"It's warded – no sound in or out and anyone who tries to force their way in gets fried. It's the safest spot in the whole tower – which is why I gave you the password. Fuck Uldred. I want him dead!"

We came upon Irvings' office and Wynne looked at me as I headed for the ornate chest in the corner.

"What are you doing, child?"

"Relax; Greagoir gave me permission to take what I needed. This grimoire belonged to Morrigans mother and it will help her to help us in ending the Blight."

"I was not judging; just asking." She gave me a weak smile and I couldn't help it.

"Chiseled features, warm brown eyes, a dark beard and black hair… A skilled spirit medium, one who looks like his father – a Templar…" she paled and looked at me. "What do you know?"

"He is a good man and you would be proud of him, Wynne. He will be a Senior Enchanter himself soon – three years."

"You know who his father is…"

"Gran… I've known you for almost two years – how could I not know?" I smiled. I found the book I was looking for and turned to the desk for the painted box.

"I think I missed something," Elissa said in an off-handed manner. Leli sighed and said, "They are talking of Wynnes son, it seems."

"Have you read Comprehensive Study on Denizens of the Fade published in 9:28, Wynne?" she nodded, I smiled, "Then you've read his work." She beamed at me and we moved on to the next floor.

Wynne looked nervous, "Do you… know which Circle…"

I shook my head, "Not really – I see only snippets of information. Like I know the name of the book – so the name of your son should be on that, right? I don't know his name personally. When I see things, I only see what I need to see – you know that. You needed to know your son was okay, so I saw enough to tell you that."

She sighed, "Thank you, Valeria… it means more to me than you could possibly…"

I snorted – so did Lona and Lee. When the three of us got funny looks I sighed, "My… abilities have allowed me to remember my past life – as most of you know. What only Lona and Lee know, however, is that… in that life, I had a son. We were killed by my husband – moving on."

"Wait – explain that," Sten said.

I asked – if Sten was asking, I would tell him. I trusted the giant, "Which part, big guy?"

"Your husband killed you."

"Michael was a drunkard and very abusive…" I gave a quick explanation.

Wynne looked horrified, "Yet, you have no problems… moving on with Cullen?"

"Cullen would rather cut off his own arm than bruise me – even a hickey makes him feel guilt, Gran."

Leli giggled at that. I smirked, "That first night with him, my neck was purple – ask Lona."

"Yeah – I had to heal it, after all…" she grumbled. I pouted, "Only because Greg insisted! I liked that mark…"

"It wasn't even a Hickey, Val… those were teeth marks," Alim pointed out.

Alistair was flushed, "Why are we talking about this?"

Sten replied, "There is no Taboo subject in the Qun."

I chuckled, "As to the teeth… it was only fair – I'm sure he still sports the scars from my nails in his back."

Solona looked impressed, "I only got that passionate with Anders…"

I gave a wicked grin, "And in the future – with Leli…"

She flushed and Leliana did too.

"It does seem to explain how you're so mature for a 17 year old. Living once and living again…" Wynne mused.

I chuckled. "You know how it is Wynne… we're no longer young enough to know everything." I quoted Oscar Wilde

She snorted, "The young really do think that don't they?"

We headed up to the third floor and I froze, "Halt."

They all stopped like we were playing a game of 'red-light, green-light'. I looked at Wynne, "You know any spells against the undead; because those skeletons will not stay dead for long."

She shook her head, "Just cleansing aura to make them weaker."

I bit my lip and thought of possibilities.

I sighed, "Wait here – I have a plan."

I began walking forward. Once I was in the middle of the floor, the skeletons began getting up. I let out my elemental senses and smirked – bones were made of minerals and marrow was made of liquid… I set the marrow on fire and watched the blaze. I motioned once both 'waves' of skeletons were dead, "What are you waiting for – let's go."

Alim was chuckling, "I've never seen anything like that before – it was like the fires started within them…"

"It did. These skeletons were fresh – so they still had marrow in their bones. Marrow is soft, spongy tissue inside the bones. It helps to make your blood. All you need to know about at the moment is that it's highly flammable – those skeletons cooked from the inside out."

Sten spoke, "Bone-Marrow… is important?"

"Oh yes – like I said, it helps to make your blood. Red marrow makes the blood and yellow marrow stores the fats. A person cannot live without bone marrow – like many parts of the body, it's vital. However there are sicknesses that can appear in the marrow. In my previous live, there were ways to transfer an amount of your marrow to another person – no magic included – to help save those that had the illness. There was also research using the stem cells found in Bone Marrow to regrow body parts and such – that was still in the experimental phase though."

Wynne looked amazed, "Fascinating, what else can you tell me about that?"

I pulled out a medical book on Bone Marrow and shoved it into her arms. She smiled happily as we ascended to the fourth floor.

For the most part, the next two floors held very few enemies… but we didn't get very far on the Templar floor. There was a large sloth demon.

The sloth demon was… very gross. It was lumpy and looked like a mass of tumors; nothing more. It had one eye and a mouth but its arms and legs were grotesque. It looked like a lumpy lightbulb of sorts colored a pussy yellow and brown. I almost threw up from sight alone.

"Oh, look… visitors. I'd entertain you… but too much effort involved." His voice was smooth and deep… like honey but… it held no effect on me?

"Killing demons is enough entertainment for me, thanks." I cocked my hip.

It looked confused, "But why? Are you not tired of all the violence in this world? I know I am. Wouldn't you like to just lie down and… forget about all of this? Leave it all behind?"

I heard the others talking, "Can't keep my eyes open…" said Alistair.

"This is ridiculous; you cannot expect me to lie on a floor sticky with blood…" Morrigan yawned.

"Resist… you must…" Wynnes eyes fluttered.

"We must stand… fight…" Sten looked to me, surprised I was completely unaffected. He looked relieved about it actually.

"I'll not listen to…" Leliana slumped. Elissa didn't even resist, she just watched me.

Almost no one else said a word tough they tried their best to resist.

Sloth looked at me once everyone was 'asleep'. "You are… unaffected?" I smirked and pulled my bow. Before I could shoot him, I was hit over the head from behind.

I woke feeling cold and sore. I groaned as I opened my eyes as I sat up. I looked around and noticed a purple shimmering barrier and two other people.

The two other people were both familiar to me – Cullen and Mother Mallol. Cullen was naked. I took him in… maker he was… wow. I wanted to cry. Scars, blood, burns and… He had a bit of a beard now – one that must have been a mark of the passing of time as he was not allowed to shave.

That was all I had time to take in however – he attacked me. I was slammed against the wall. I coughed out some blood. It looked as though I had already been tortured too… how long had I been unconscious? I was covered in cuts and bruises… what had they done?

I swiftly dislocated one of my thumbs and slipped my ties before I used martial arts to flip Cullen as he came at me again and tackled him, "Gaia, Cullen – what the fuck?"

He snarled, "Demons… using my memories of her – taunting me! I will not fall for it."

I shook my head, "You absolute ass! I am not a demon. If I were, I wouldn't have been in this fucking cage with you for you to hit me!"

He froze, "… Oh… oh, Maker… you're right…"

I straddling him and holding his arms down – weakened as he was, he could still flip me if he wanted. And I think he knew that, because he seemed to start calming down. I now had a better look at the man – a Y-shaped scab from a very deep cut on the right of his chest, burn marks on his arms, a ragged scab on his left upper arm… I hadn't seen his back, but my guess was that it was worse.

I hesitantly let his hands go and sat up on him, "I understand you may have been tortured, Cullen, so I don't blame you. Just… please don't hit me again?"

He nodded, "I… I regret not thinking it through – they've never come into the cage before. Makers' Breath… I thought I might never see you again."

"What? Why?"

"Ostagar fell – Wynne told us how you were at the tower of Ishal when… that you likely didn't make it out when the retreat was sounded. I thought… but the tower fell and I worried I would die here… that you might never know."

I moved to slide off of him – things were getting awkward with the… new presence. He was getting aroused by the situation. It aroused me too, somehow – just… maybe it was adrenaline?

I noticed a desire demon on the other side of the cage, "Was this really necessary; why did you take my clothes, you demonic bitch?" I shouted causing the Cullen to jump from beside me. He looked over and saw the demon.

He groaned, "Of course… I attacked you and the demon watched."

The demon was 5'5 with a light purple skin, violet eyes and horns… she was naked and so obviously female – from her mannerisms at minimum.

"So I could play with you. It appears demons of any nature cannot… affect you with our magics, however." Her voice was sultry and I snarled and looked over the other three who stood outside the cage.

I was pissed – they had watched Cullen attack me while the both of us were naked as though this was daytime television. One was female, but the other two were male – actually, I recognized these three as new transfers into Kinlock 4 months prior. I was hurting a lot too – it appeared that they had taken to cutting me up while I was out cold. I took another mental tally of myself.

I was covered in cuts and bruises and most openings were still slowly oozing blood.

The female smirked at me, "It's a shame we couldn't play with you while you were awake – but Seekers are far more powerful than Templars, and this Templar is quite powerful indeed."

I smirked and used one of my 'secret' powers. She crumpled to the floor. The two men shouted, "What the…?"

I killed off one of them before the last man said, "Keep it up and the demon kills the Templar."

I froze. My 'mind-kill' didn't work on demons, damn it. I sat, "So what do you want?"

"Uldred says he wants you to join us or die – but before that, I plan to make you pay."

"Pay for what?"

"Killing them – I know it was you!"

I shrugged, "I didn't deny it, Steven. You really don't know what a Seeker is capable of. I can feel the Lyrium in your veins, I could set it on fire – would you like that?"

"Oh – no you don't. Try it and he dies. The way I see it, you have two choices – one, he beds you while I watch or two, I knock you out and I bed you."

I snorted, "What do you get from me bedding my fiancée?" Cullen looked curious too.

He sneered, "Your humiliation – having to be watched like animals or like mages."

I smirked, "Oh, I won't be humiliated – he's so good, I'd forget you were there. And as for you… you're not man enough to do anything with me. You see, I know you would want the satisfaction of making my own body turn against me – and while that's easier when I'm out cold, you just don't have what it takes. Besides – I have my body covered in Enchantments just to protect against rape. You can feel the magics, yes? One of them castrates the man or woman who tries."

He paled. "You bitch – I'll go tell Uldred you're awake!"

I shrugged, "Go ahead."

He fled up the stairs.