Chapter 25

Drake

The entire day after that, Iris spent time with Danny and Jake to help them where to find the correct information, while Emma, Jimmy and I continued our research on Sons of Earth. Whenever Iris laughed at one of Danny's jokes, I couldn't help myself. My fist clenched, my teeth gritted… I had no idea why I was being so jealous. I never used to be the jealous type.
To be fair, I'd never been in love before, and had never liked someone enough to care that much, but those thoughts aside.

I hated seeing the two of them together. Jake and Iris weren't my main concern, not even at all. They were friendly, and they laughed together, but they weren't like Iris and Danny. Those two really seemed to fit together on all levels. Humour, likes and dislikes, everything. I feared her being pregnant drove me even crazier, the fear of me not being the guy she might have actually wanted. I knew she loved me. I did. I sighed. But Iris' and Danny's chemistry was insane. It reminded me of her and Jimmy together, such a simple chemistry, as if her life could be so easy if she'd chosen to be with a guy like them. I wasn't like them, and I would never be like that. I was a sarcastic, pessimistic, whiskey drinking Texan lonely boy, which I had always been okay with. Iris had, from the moment we'd met, also seen the sides of me that weren't all sarcastic and pessimistic. Hell, I'd been so sappy with her "past" me would've never recognised "now" me.

But then I'd gotten afraid. What if she needed more? What if she needed someone who was more vulnerable? Optimistic instead of pessimistic… sweet instead of sarcastic? The way I heard Iris and Danny speak together, they just sounded so… positive towards each other. They really did never finish a conversation, which was what Iris had already mentioned the night before. They seemed so in sync, somehow… and it broke me. I'd finally found someone who I thought loved me for me… and now I was questioning whether I was still enough.

To make matters even worse, Emma started telling us stories about their Dutch days of all being together and doing crazy things. Jimmy laughed at the stories, and at first I tried to pretend to laugh as well, but after a little while, I excused myself, pretending I had to return a call from Savannah. I stood up and walked away, pretending to take out my phone and dialling her number. Instead, I walked towards the palace doors and decided to take a little walk, to clear my head. My thoughts were racing and I couldn't stop them. I entered the palace maze, exactly knowing where to go to achieve the middle. Jimmy and I had spent so many hours playing in that maze when we were younger, I entered the maze without thinking, and arrived at the centre without thinking.

Besides the obvious. I sighed as I sat down on a bench, in front of the enormous fountain. Iris and I were going to get married in two and a half weeks… which was the elopement, and after that we'd get married again one week later. I gripped my hair and buried my face in my hands. Why am I feeling this badly? She'd said yes to my proposal, she'd risked a marriage with Jimmy to save me… she was carrying my baby for fuck's sake. I growled softly as I felt confused and broken, shaking my head.

I had no idea how long I was in that maze for, could've been ten minutes and it could've easily been two hours… until I heard Iris' voice echoing through the maze. 'Drake, are you in here?' She called. Suddenly I understood why she had her teacher's degree, I'd never imagined her voice being this loud before, and somehow it made me smile. 'I'm down at the centre of the maze!' I called back. Her voice sounded quite close, and if I were to guess, she could've gotten here in ten seconds had she taken the right turns. She, however, hadn't, and found me two minutes later.

'Drake!' She said happily once she turned the corner and saw me. Her face lit up as she ran over to me and jumped on my lap. I laughed, feeling a lot happier instantly, and I wrapped my good arm around her. 'Hey, Valentine.' She leaned in, and pressed a loving kiss on my lips. 'Jimmy told me I could find you here. Why are you in here?' She asked, slightly surprised. Fuck. 'Eh, I was just thinking about the Sons of Earth thing. I always come down here to think,' I said quickly. Apparently, I sounded convincingly enough, because she nodded. 'I'm so sorry I couldn't help you guys out today. Danny and Jake are now prepared and they know what to do. So is Ron, he's passed the first security wall,' she said, smiling big at the last part. The dimple in her left cheek was showing, and I found myself caring less about the entire Danny situation… which was what her smile always did to me. When she smiled, I forgot about everything.

'That's great news, Valentine,' I said, with a smile, and shifted her on my lap so that she was facing me fully, straddling my lap. 'I missed you, though,' she said softly, putting her hand on my cheek, as she pressed herself closer to me. A few electric jolts ran through my body. 'You did?' I asked. She let out a soft laugh. 'Don't sound so surprised, Drake Walker. I love being with you.' She pecked my lips… but I pulled her even closer against me, feeling way too vulnerable to let her get away with a peck only. I deepened the kiss, sending my tongue on a search for hers. She let out a soft contented moan as we collided, and her hands gripped my hair. 'I've been longing to do this all day,' she said, with a slight smile once we pulled back, panting, a few minutes later. Suddenly I stiffened slightly. Had she been longing all day… because those feelings had been provoked by Danny… and she took it out on me? No, right? She'd missed me…

My stomach turned. Fuck, my mind was going crazy. My breath hitched and I stood up, putting her down gently and smiling at her. 'Let's get back to the palace, we've got some more stuff to do.' Her eyes turned slightly surprised. 'The Drake I know wouldn't just let me walk away after saying something like that.' I shook my head, feeling a slight ache in my heart. 'No, but I'm guessing the others probably need our help.' I stuck out my hand at her, trying to be acting normal. She was still staring at me, confused, before taking my hand. We walked through the maze, silently at first, before I made a joke to lighten the mood. 'See, this is how you walk through the maze correctly.' She chuckled and poked me. 'It was only my first time, that's unfair.' 'Oh, by the way, I have to help Jimmy with something tonight, he asked for my help, so it might be late before I return to our room tonight,' I said, looking into her eyes. The usual sparkle was missing, and she looked a little uneasy. 'Oh… okay.'

I nodded, and we continued walking, before she pulled me to a stop and scanned my eyes. 'Drake, are you okay, did I do something?' My heart skipped a beat. I knew I was begin stupid about it. My feelings couldn't possibly be real to begin with, so I wasn't ready to share them. At all. 'Sorry, Valentine. My brain is trying to crack this Sons of Earth thing. We're good,' I said quickly. She didn't look convinced. 'I have no idea what's going on with you… but it scares me,' she said softly, her eyes almost lucid. My breath hitched as I realised how much of a jerk I was being.
What am I doing? Why am I acting like that around her? She's done literally nothing wrong… I am making myself go fucking insane.

I grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to me, cupping her cheek. 'I'm sorry, baby. I'm not having the best day. I love you, you know that,' I said, looking deep into her eyes. She let go of a breath slowly, and I saw her face becoming calmer. She nodded slightly, and leaned in to kiss me. 'I love you too, Drake.' I tangled my hand into her hair, putting all my passion into the kiss, which was reciprocated by her, leaving the both of us utterly breathless. 'You'd tell me if something was bothering you, right?' She asked, her voice soft and vulnerable. I swallowed, and wavered whether I should tell her about my feelings… yet I didn't. 'Of course I would, Valentine,' I said, with a slight smile. She still didn't seem entirely convinced, but we heard Jimmy's voice, calling for us. 'Coming, Jimmy!' I called, and grabbed Iris' hand again.

Once we'd arrived back at the palace doors again, Jimmy was waiting for us there. 'Iris, Emma needs you… and dinner's almost ready.' Iris nodded. 'Thanks, Jimmy. Where's Emma?' 'Still at the library,' he replied. She nodded, glanced at me, one last time and slowly took back her hand. 'Bye,' she said softly, and quickly walked away. Jimmy frowned. 'What was that?' I sighed. 'I'll explain tonight, just tell everyone you need my help tonight and meet me down by the lake.' He was still frowning, but agreed, no questions asked.

During dinner, everyone talked about their research and their findings. Hana and Olivia had managed to track down Lucretia, and Tim and Maxwell managed to unravel some secrets of the Liberation-Core, which almost made clear that group hadn't been the assassins. Tim had tracked down an old member, who had been willing to reveal some secrets, especially because he'd left the LC, due to Jimmy. LC was founded because people didn't agree with Constantine's way of ruling. LC hadn't exactly been put on hold to see how Jimmy would be as a ruler, but they were definitely waiting to judge his performance, and they were also definitely not trying to kill him so Constantine would come back. For some strange reason I believed them, probably because Jimmy was set to be a better ruler than Constantine ever was, and other people seemed to notice too.

Well. Not everyone apparently.

Emma, Jimmy and I hadn't learnt much more about the Sons of Earth, they were quite secretive, and I was afraid that we'd just have to wait on Ron to finish decoding the laptop. 'What I do find strange, is that Lucretia was spotted… the moment Emma was first introduced,' Iris said, with a slight frown as she pushed around her mushrooms. 'Lucretia hasn't been seen for years, and suddenly, she's back in Cordonia the moment the public notices Jimmy's affection towards Emma.' Olivia's eyes widened. 'Wow, Iris, I hadn't even thought of it that way,' Maxwell said surprised. Hana and Olivia shared a look. 'Lucretia told Olivia's maid that she'd been in Europe when she received some news, causing her to come back!' Hana said, her eyes big. Everyone fell silent, until Olivia spoke. 'Without further details… I'd almost say that could be working with…' Jimmy swallowed. 'Sons of Earth.' As if struck by lightning, everyone started talking, and were immediately discussing plans how to interrogate Lucretia. I caught Iris' eyes, and hers carried the same as mine. Worry. The case was getting bigger and bigger.

Later that night, I'd snuck out of the palace, and met Jimmy down by the lake. He was already sitting, looking out over the water. I used to go fishing on that lake, with my father. That lake held a few of my favourite memories of all time. I'd even gotten my first kiss down by that lake, but that wasn't part of the favourite memories I'd meant. All my favourite memories were of my dad, teaching me how to reel in fish and afterwards we'd debone and grill them in the palace kitchens, eating them by the fireplace in the garden, talking about life. He'd taught me how to solve my own problems. If we hadn't caught any fish, we wouldn't eat. Some people thought my dad could be harsh, but the only thing he had been, was a role model. I could only wish to be a dad like him to my child one day.

He'd never been the sappy kind of guy either, but he'd told me he loved me on that lake, a week before he died. He'd told me that more often, but that time on the lake happened to be the last time he would ever tell me. It had also been the last night we would ever get to spend together. The week after that, was a crazy one. I'd returned back to college, and I wasn't aware of any harm, until Leo called me up. He'd told me that there had been an assassination, and that I had to come home. Jimmy and Leo were harmed, but they were okay. My mother and Savannah were okay… those were the ones I'd checked first, because I knew that my dad would be okay.

He was an amazing fighter, and even though he'd been stabbed, I just knew that he'd walk through the door any second. We were all in the living room of Constantine's and Regina's chambers, waiting for the doctor to call and ask us to pick up my dad. Constantine, Regina and my mother had seemed slightly nervous, which I didn't understand. Well, I was eighteen back then, I understood perfectly, but I chose to pretend it wasn't true. My dad was stabbed, he was going to get better, and that was that.

Until the doctor called, and said the few words that would make the ground beneath my feet disappear. emI'm so sorry Mrs Walker… we couldn't save your husband.

I went back to college the day after my dad's funeral, and the first thing I did, back in my dorm room… I'd grabbed a pen and a notebook, and I wrote down everything I remembered from the last conversation I'd had with my dad, that night on the lake. The notebook had become my most valuable possession and I read it once a year. Every year on the same day, January fourteenth, the day of the fishing trip. Without exception to that year… only that year I'd spent it in a different way than usual. That year had collided with Jimmy's choosing period. January fourteenth had fallen on the day of the derby. The day Iris asked me whether my dad was a Cordonian.

I took a deep breath as I sat down next to Jimmy. At first we sat there, in perfect silence, until he sighed. 'This lake holds many memories, doesn't it?' I swallowed. 'Yeah, I just thought back of my dad.' Jimmy's eyes caught mine, and looked far too sympathetic for me to handle, so I looked away, grabbed a pebble and caused disruption in the perfect serenity of the water. 'I never thanked you for coming back to the palace,' he said, his voice slightly hoarse. I frowned. 'That's not necessary, Jimmy.' He shook his head. 'Au contraire. You put your life on hold for me. You quit college.' He wavered. 'Do you regret it?'

I sighed as I shook my head and looked at my best friend of twenty years. 'I really don't. You needed me, how could I ever regret being there for you?' Jimmy smiled, half-heartedly. 'Because that's you, Drake. You wouldn't even think twice about putting your life on hold for me, or catching a bullet for Iris… risking your own life.' I shook my head. 'You would have done the same, Jimmy.' He nodded slowly. 'Definitely, but in this case, you were the one who did… and I've never thanked you.' I smiled as I put my hand on his shoulder. 'I'm glad I did. I'm not sure what would've happened to us if I'd stayed there.' He shook his head. 'I'm not sure either, but you're the only one who could've saved me like that.'

After the assassination, the one from many years ago, I'd gone back to college, and Jimmy had to stay behind, staying in the palace. Weeks went by until Leo called me again, telling me that Jimmy was showing severe signs of depression, and that he needed me. I'd packed my stuff in a heartbeat, and I'd never looked back. I wasn't even sure if the college I'd attended knew I'd left. At one point I just stopped paying, I never went back, and I never told anyone why. Leo knew why, Jimmy suspected why, and I'd never spoken about it with anyone else. I'd actually, before that night, never even spoken to Jimmy about it. The assassination had left him damaged, the passing of my father also hitting him harder than anyone had imagined, because Jimmy had realised that even someone as strong, fierce and fearless as my dad, or so he'd always seemed, had been defeated.

Jimmy had sunken into a slight depression, which was unlike him, but he'd been hurt himself, and he had to pretend he wasn't scared around other people. The only ones he'd ever dared to be himself around were me and my dad… and the both of us were gone. Once I'd returned, not telling him why in the first place, we'd spent our first night back together by the same lake, sitting next to each other the same way as we did at that same moment, and we didn't say a word the entire night. After that, we started training, which we still did in the mornings, quite often, and we'd worked our way through a difficult time. Jimmy started opening up more and more, becoming more positive each day, and finally, after a few months, he'd gone back to normal, and besides me missing my dad immensely, I'd gone back to normal too.

'I'm pretty sure returning to the castle saved me too, Jimmy. College wasn't for me. I would've never become happy there.' I paused. 'I thought I'd never be happy at court, and you must have had a good laugh once I moved to Piloude, now engaged to a Duchess… and will maybe be a fucking Duke in the future… but-' I started, until Jimmy frowned and cut me off. 'What do you mean, maybe? Is this about what happened this afternoon?'

I sighed and took a deep breath. 'Yeah… I…' I shook my head and let out the breath. 'I walked away this afternoon because of Emma's stories. Ever since Ron, Danny and Jake have arrived, I've been feeling… jealous.' I almost spat the last word. 'Iris and Danny have this chemistry. They share an entire world, a story or something. I…' I shook my head again and fell silent. A lump formed itself in my throat as I stared down at the water, which was slowly settling down again after the disruption of the pebble.

'Drake, you can't be serious, right?' Jimmy asked, confused. 'I've literally never seen any girl look at you the way Iris does. I can only hope Emma feels that way about me, I mean it.' I looked up, and his eyes were a mixture of confusion and reassurance. I smiled half-heartedly. 'Thanks, really. I just… I can't even look at them. I know she loves me, but just the fact that she's carrying my baby… frankly, I'm just going insane.'

Jimmy was staring at me. 'I don't even know what to say right now,' he admitted. 'It's all in your head, I promise.' I nodded. 'I'm pretty sure it is… but the fact that we're having a child together makes it so much more scary. I can't even explain it Jimmy. We've known each other for six months. What if she is so much more compatible with Danny, and realises that during this tour?' Jimmy put his hand on my shoulder. 'I understand your thoughts, Drake, I do. But take it from me, the guy who was there when she broke down all those times over missing you. She loves you more than anything in this world.' I wrung my hands, and smiled somewhat more genuine now. 'Thanks.'

I took a deep breath, and threw another pebble into the water. Jimmy seemed to notice I was ready for a change of topic. 'Remember that time you got your first kiss here?' He joked, and grinned at me. I nodded slowly and laughed. 'Man… that was bad. I thought I'd have to swear off girls after that.' We both laughed, a good genuine laugh. 'Glad you didn't,' Jimmy said, once there was only a smile left on his lips. 'Heh. I guess you're right,' I said, a faint smile playing on my lips. Suddenly, I felt the urge to run back to my room, and to take Iris in my arms, holding her close… so I did.

'Thank you,' I said to Jimmy, smiling up at him. 'For listening to me.' He shook his head and stuck out his hand, which I shook. 'Thanks for being my best friend.'

After that, I ran back to my room, which had become our room, not even having the patience to walk. I needed to see her. I entered our room softly, and saw her, already asleep in bed. Should've realised that, it was past midnight already. 'Drake?' She mumbled softly as she stirred awake. I quickly walked over to her, and knelt next to her on the ground, kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

My heart felt full, all of a sudden. Full of love for the woman right before me. 'I'm here baby,' I said softly. She smiled slightly, without opening her eyes. 'Please tell me you're doing okay again,' she mumbled. I put my forehead against hers. 'I'm doing better.' 'Good.' Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she pecked my lips. 'Join me soon, I want to hold you.' I nodded, pecked her lips once more and walked over to the bathroom. Once I'd returned and lay down in bed, she snuggled up against me, her face against my chest. I'd put my painful arm around her softly, and pulled her closer as my eyelids grew heavy.

'I love you, Valentine.' Her breathing had become steady and slow, right before she drifted off to sleep.
'I…love you too… Drake.'