"It's going to storm today."
Her sister's voice broke the thick silence that was settled over the house. Kim hummed noncommittally from her stance by the door. She'd been standing there since she'd found out where the pack had gone, eyes on the forest. Where Kim was turned to stone by her worry, Emily had dissolved into raw fretting, unable to keep still. The air was sweetened by the constant stream of cakes and muffins that she'd been producing. Kitty, on the other hand, seemed to be a little in shock. Her sister had been occupying herself with a magazine, a half-finished puzzle, and the television on mute.
Emily didn't reply, whisking the meringue in her bowl a little more aggressively. Alex looked out of the window, and true to her sister's words, there was a gathering of grey clouds on the horizon. As she watched, a wind ruffled the trees around the house hard enough to dispel leaves into the air.
Suddenly, the prospect of lingering even another second in the house felt like a death sentence, and she stood from the kitchen table. "I'm going out."
Kitty straightened on the couch, eyes going wide. "What? No, you have to stay here."
"No, I don't." Alex snapped, hating herself as her sister recoiled. Emily set down her whisk with a clatter, and turned to face her. Alex held her ground as Emily stared her down. "I'll be back before dark." Or when we get word. It was unspoken. "I can't just sit here." Her voice broke, and she clenched her jaw in frustration.
Emily didn't say a word, but she nodded once and it was enough. Alex turned, heading for the door, trying to avoid Kitty's furious look. Kim stepped aside wordlessly, and Alex tried to smile at the girl who had gone very pale. Kim's answering grimace was painful.
She jogged down the steps, making a beeline for the trees. Blindly, she turned east and started moving, and before she knew it, she was running, helter-skelter through the trees, desperate to escape the worry chasing her.
The incline got steeper, and the dotting of sand she could see to her left began to get sparser as she headed towards the cliffs. Maybe up high, she'd get a breath of air and a chance to clear her head. Because she was being stupid. They could do this. They could kill a vampire. They were strong. They were capable. She shouldn't worry; Sam had said they could do it. Jared was experienced. Paul was strong. Embry was fast and smarter than all of them. Jacob had promised he'd come back. He promised…
Distracted as she was, it took her far too long to register the familiar vehicle parked at the end of the main trail. Alex jerked to a halt, turning on her heel to eye the beaten up red truck parked perilously half off the gravel onto the dirt. Why was Bella here? There was no sign of the girl in the surrounding trees, and dread settled low in her gut as her eyes fell upon the well-worn path that led out of the trees up onto the stone cliff.
"I worry about her. I hate leaving her alone, without anyone…"
Jacob's words came to her in a flash, and a sickening realisation came to her. Bella wasn't- Bella wouldn't-
Maybe she would.
Nausea making her stomach flip, she broke into a run. Maybe she would, maybe she thought it was the answer, maybe her boyfriend leaving her had really broken her- Alex didn't know what Jacob would do if Bella killed-
She couldn't even finish the thought, picking up speed as the path levelled out, and she spotted a silhouette on the edge of the cliff. Out in the open, the wind had picked up, and Alex could see the other girl's hair and clothing being whipped around. There was static in the air, and in the distance, Alex caught a faint flicker of lightning. Jesus.
"BELLA!" Alex screamed at the girl. Bella startled visibly, jumping and spinning awkwardly. Her mouth dropped open in a wide 'o' of surprise. "What are you doing?" Alex skidded to a halt in front of the girl. Bella blinked at her, looking a little caught out, brown eyes impossibly wide.
"Cliff diving… what are you doing here?" Bella asked, and Alex had to strain to hear her soft voice over the wind. Bella looked frailer than usual, and though her explanation seemed innocent enough, but Alex didn't buy it.
"I was out for a walk. Bella, I want you to step away from the edge." She said, as gently as she could, though worry made her voice come out hard, and Bella frowned.
"Why? And where's Jacob – he was supposed to take me cliff-diving today." Bella didn't move, and Alex gave her feet – far too close to the edge of the cliff for comfort – a nervous look.
Jacob would not have taken her cliff diving today – even if the bloodsucker hadn't holed herself up – the weather was terrible, and storm-driven currents made the ocean dangerous, even deadly. Alex shook her head. "Bella, I'm serious. Just come back with me. Jacob and the others are hunting down Victoria, they've cornered her in the mountains-"
"What?" Bella seemed to grow even paler, fright making her face taunt. She looked like a mannequin. The wind whipped around them, tugging at them and Alex planted her feet a little more firmly. "No – Victoria doesn't just get cornered, it's got to be a trap, it has to be-" As if in slow-motion, Bella stumbled back slightly, caught off balance by a strong gust of wind as she gestured emphatically. Her arms pinwheeled briefly, and Alex reached for her as she screamed, teetering over the edge of the cliff- And then she was gone, her scream just audible over the crash of the waves and a low roll of distant thunder.
Alex panted, and for a moment, one sickening moment, she was still.
And then the memory of Jacob's deep and burning adoration for Bella went running through her like lightning, all cautionary thoughts flying from her mind, and Alex threw herself off the cliff after the other girl.
She would have screamed if the air had not been snatched from her lungs by the speed of her descent. Alex only had a moment to register the foamy patch where Bella must have landed before she hit the water with a splashing smack.
The ocean was ice-cold and the distance she sunk was enough to make her panic for a moment, instinct sending her surging for the surface. She gasped in a lungful of air, the sensation clearing her head enough for her to think, and she watched as Bella's head broke the surface a few feet away.
"Bella!" she cried, and began to swim towards the other girl, eyes on the growing wave coming towards them. Bella seemed unaware of it, busy trying to push her wet hair out of her face, and Alex watched hopelessly as the wave hit Bella head on. She took another breath of air, and dived beneath the water just as the wave passed over her. Forcing herself to open her eyes, though in the murky, disturbed water, it was hard to make out anything. She could see Bella's struggling form however, carried closer to her by the strong current. Alex powered towards her, arms already beginning to burn fighting the current trying to carry them both away.
Her lungs began to burn for air by the time she reached the other girl, and when she closed her arms around Bella's torso, the other girl lashed out wildly, and her elbow caught Alex's chest, forcing out a huge bubble of air. Alex abandoned decorum, reaching out to grab a handful of Bella's hair and pulling at it as she kicked both of their way to the surface.
The momentary peace of being submerged was broken almost immediately. Bella took a loud gulping breath of air when they broke the surface, but before Alex could speak to the other girl, another wave crashed upon them, and it was all she could do to keep a hold of Bella as the water crushed down upon them.
They were getting too close to the rocks, and panic was beginning to overtake her, rationality falling away as she realised, she couldn't keep them both afloat and away from the rocks. For the first time in a long time, Alex realised she couldn't save herself. The all-consuming terror that engulfed her made her scream, briefly and loudly the next time her head broke the surface, and she was still screaming as the next wave fell upon them. Bella was clawing at her, and Alex wasn't sure if she was trying to keep a hold of her or trying to use her to get to the surface too.
She was getting tired, the initial adrenaline rush that had powered her over the edge of the cliff and had kept them afloat fading quickly, muscles burning with the effort of holding Bella up, and fighting the current.
In the brief interlude between waves, she grasped Bella, who had dissolved into hyperventilation. "Listen to me! We need to get away from the cliff. The next wave, I want you to duck under it and swim as hard as you can, okay?" Bella seemed unable to hear her, and Alex dug her fingernails into Bella's skin, making the other girl whimper. "Okay?" Alex barked, eyes on the waves approaching them from behind.
Bella nodded briefly, and Alex maneuvered the girl around so she could see. For a moment, things seemed to work, the first wave, Bella and Alex moved in tandem, taking a breath and swimming hard into the current.
But then it went to shit.
Bella, a few inches ahead of her, suddenly startled, and even in the water, Alex could hear the tinny sound of her scream, as Bella rapidly began to backpedal. The next wave caught Bella fully, and Alex didn't have time to draw breath before Bella's body crashed into her own, and the force of the wave, the current, and the other girl's body slammed her hard into the rocks behind them.
The sudden collision made sparks pop in her vision, and her limbs went limp as blackness wavered on the edge of her vision. This time, it was Bella struggling to hold her, the other girl's face white with panic as she attempted to draw them to the surface. The lack of air burned her lungs, and Alex found her limbs turning to jelly, unable to help Bella's efforts. In the dark water beyond them, something flickered orange, and Alex thought inexplicably of Jacob, of the flame that lived in her chest.
Her world faded to black, and she only had one last moment to feel guilt. Jacob would never forgive her for this.
"Please, please- Alex, come on, just breathe-"
It hurt.
Her first coherent thought was irritation, because she couldn't just breathe, everything hurt, her limbs, her throat, her lungs. Then, she registered the hard pebbles beneath her, and the hard, hot, rhythmic pressure against her chest, and that not breathing wasn't a good idea, and she tried to suck in a breath. Instead, burning and disgusting, water came out of her nose and mouth, and she was rolled roughly onto her side, which made the liquid come out a little easier. Finally, just when her vision threatened to fade again, her head growing thick with the lack of oxygen, her throat cleared enough to let her suck in a shaky breath, before she was coughing again, more water coming up her throat.
The pressure on her chest was gone, and she lay there, trying to come back to herself. The hot touch on her back was still there, moving in firm circles, and she shuddered, eyes locking on the sandy, stony shore, on the heaving grey ocean beyond. Someone was crying, and though she wanted to lift her head to look, she found herself entirely unable to do anything but breathe.
"It's okay, Bells, she's okay. It'll be okay." Someone was speaking, low and soothing, and the crying lowered in volume.
Alex sucked another unsteady breath of air, the sound her chest made loud and rattling, sticky with the remnants of water in her lungs. It hurt.
"Good girl." The new voice was close, a murmur above her, and she shuddered as she recognized the presence above her.
"S-s-sam." She rasped weakly, teeth chattering together. Sam didn't move her, lowering himself instead, and she felt like crying as his face appeared in her vision. "S-sam." She bleated again, quiet and pained. God, she wanted to get off the beach, she wanted to be warm, she wanted to stop hurting.
"I'm here, baby." Sam's voice was controlled and warm, but Alex knew him well enough – even in her slightly delirious state – to see the emotion in his eyes.
Emotion-
Sudden realisation bloomed, and she tried to sit up, panic giving her strength she didn't have. "Bella!" She cried, fighting the way it felt like her windpipe was closing. She coughed. "She was in the water, where is she? Sam – she was-"
"I'm here." A small voice, just as raspy as her own. Alex stilled, and gave in to the racking coughs that made her collapse back onto the pebbles. When she opened her eyes again, Bella's face was in her eyeline, and she looked distraught. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I didn't-" Alex lost the rest of her words as more coughs wracked her body, some more water coming painfully out of her nose.
"-get them home. I have to get back to the hospital." Sam was speaking, and Bella's eyes were no longer on her, and the other girl looked just as confused as she felt. "Can you walk?" Sam addressed Bella, who hesitated, looked down at Alex, and then back at him and nodded. "Good. Jacob?"
Sam's heat at her back disappeared, and Alex panicked, trying to grasp at him. The large hand that caught her flailing wrist was inexplicably gentle, and the sudden hot flush at the contact made her still. She could feel him, and she kept her head turned away as Jacob lifted her up. "I've got you." He said quietly. Alex couldn't respond, didn't dare look at him. Bella fell into step beside him, bobbing in and out of Alex's periphery. Her lips were blue, and she was shivering. More guilt flooded Alex, as she was cradled by Jacob's bulk, the warmth of him easing her own chill somewhat. Jacob cleared his throat. "Bella, would you mind starting your truck? Sam brought it around."
Again, Bella looked as if she wanted to say something, hesitating just long enough to be obvious, but she nodded mutely, and jogged off ahead. Left alone, the silence felt twice as heavy. Alex stubbornly kept her head facing towards the trees and the road ahead. Jacob, just as obstinate, ignored the gesture. "What happened?" his voice rumbled through her.
"She didn't tell you?" Alex couldn't help but look at him, confused. His face was hard, set in taunt lines that did nothing to ease her fear. "She- she fell. I thought she was going to jump."
"She was." Jacob said, scowling. "She thought she'd try cliff jumping. She said she fell accidentally. Said you jumped in after her."
Alex sucked in a slightly too large breath, chest constricting painfully. At the loud sound of the rattling breath, Jacob frowned harder, muscles in his jaw jumping, as she hacked uncontrollably. "Yeah. I couldn't let her… y'know." She managed, wiping weakly at her mouth.
"It was stupid." Jacob bit out.
Alex narrowed her eyes at him. "What was I supposed to do? You were off killing the blood-bitch-"
"She got away."
"What?" It was Bella who interrupted him, voicing Alex's own shock. Alex turned to see her hanging out of her open truck. "What do you mean she got away?"
Jacob shuddered, just once, and Alex gave him a nervous look. "She got away. Slipped right past us, and headed into the forest. She was going for the water – bloodsuckers have the advantage there. And then I felt-" looking at him already, Alex caught his quick look at her, and she felt the sudden pulse of him, their bond, the Imprint stretching between them, and realised he must have felt her terror in the water.
If he hadn't…
"Sam came back with you…" Bella was frowning. "Is everyone else home, too?"
Jacob's face grew shuttered, blank, the look he got when he was trying to hide his own hurt, and Alex's heart leapt into her throat. "Yeah, sort of." He said lowly, and headed for the truck. To her surprise, he simply folded himself into the driver's seat with her still sat in his lap. The steering wheel dug painfully into her hip for a moment before he roughly adjusted the seat. She barely noticed, too preoccupied with his statement. Bella clambered in behind them, closing her door quietly.
"Jake…" she whispered, fresh horror dawning upon her. "Sam said he had to go to the hospital." Jacob breathed out, shakily, and slammed the door shut. Bella gasped lowly, loud in the shelter of the truck's cabin. Alex's wash of faintness had nothing to do with her wrecked state. "Who-?"
"Harry Clearwater had a heart attack." Jacob said, voice tight as he started the truck. It rumbled to life loudly, and with her heart roaring in her ears, Alex didn't hear the conversation between Bella and Jacob, catching a few snatches of Bella's father's name and her guilty question; 'what can I do?'
Alex closed her eyes. Harry Clearwater was a descendant. His son, Seth, would have been in line for the Phase, and now he had to do it without the guidance of his father. Sure, Seth might have the Pack, but without his dad…
"-lex…Alex. Hey." She was lightly jostled awake, and she blinked to clear her vision. She was still in the truck, but the rain had slowed, and the engine was off. Jacob was almost smiling, eyes tired, mouth held tight with grief. Her brief nap had done nothing to stave off the pain and emotion, and it came back to her in a rush. Jacob's eyebrows twitched, and he touched at his chest briefly, absently. Alex fought to stave off the emotion she obviously burdening him with. He didn't need to bear her own suffering as well as his own. Jacob's eyes flickered out the window briefly. "We're at Emily's, okay? I need to get Bella home."
She didn't want him to leave.
The selfish desire rose in her along with a wave of nausea. She just wanted Jacob to stay, but she wasn't the only one who had nearly drowned today, and besides, she'd kept him from Bella long enough. She looked at the other girl, who was still shivering pathetically in the passenger seat. When she met Bella's eyes, the other girl ducked her head. She wasn't the only one. Jacob was looking at her still, and now she could see the faint edge of pleading in his expression. "Yeah. Okay."
"Thank you, Alex." Bella's voice was barely a whisper, but Alex couldn't find it in herself to respond. Jacob opened the truck door, and Alex sat upright as best she could, ready to get down and make her way into the house, though she was unsure how steady she would be.
She needn't have worried. A pair of hands was already upon her, snatching up and out of truck fast enough to startle her into another round of coughing. "Oh, shit! Alex, I'm sorry." Embry. Alex could have cried. She turned into her friend, catching a brief glimpse of his startled face before she buried her face in his neck. His surprise only lasted a second, his arms re-securing her position. "I'll take care of her, man." His voice was serious.
"Thanks, Em." Jacob's relief was palpable, and Alex couldn't help the stab of hurt at his obvious desire to be alone with Bella. She wasn't the only one, she reminded herself. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Yeah." Embry replied, and Alex could feel him nodding. The rain, though lighter, was somehow wetter, and colder than the torrential onslaught at the beach. Alex shivered once, and tensed, trying to hold herself still. "See ya, Jake." He said tightly. Alex wondered if he had ignored Bella on purpose.
He turned then, faster than usual, fast enough to make her stomach lurch at the sudden shift in gravity, and headed towards the house.
It was oddly quiet inside, quiet enough that Alex chanced lifting her head.
The living room was empty, and the lights were off, and only one plate with a half-eaten muffin was at the table. "Where are the others?" she asked. At the sound of her raw voice, Embry's face tightened.
"The girls and Sam are at the hospital." He said, making a beeline towards the couch. He sank into it with an obvious face of relief. He looked just as tired as Jacob had, and Alex wondered how long it had been since he had slept. "Paul and Jared are with Seth and Leah."
"Seth and Leah?" Alex echoed faintly, frowning.
Embry gave her a faintly incredulous look, hand absently smoothing back her wet hair. "Jacob didn't tell you?"
Alex shook her head. Inside, with the warmth of Embry, she didn't feel as cold, but the rattle in her chest hadn't faded and the ache across her body was distracting enough that she couldn't quite put two-and-two together. Leah was Harry's daughter, the eldest, a little younger than Sam, a little elder than Kitty. Seth was the youngest, two years younger than her. "Tell me what?"
Embry's face fell, lips twisting. The pretty planes of his face weren't built for grief, and she wished she could make it better. "Harry's heart attack – it made them both Phase. No one was expecting it… they're out of their minds, its all Jared and Paul can do to stop them from rampaging through LaPush."
"Leah's a girl." Alex said dumbly. "I thought girls couldn't Phase."
"Yeah, so did everyone else." Embry said, shaking his head. "And Seth's so young…"
Alex sighed, and gave in to the wave of exhaustion, letting her head fall forwards onto Embry's shoulder. He cradled the back of her head like she was an infant, and pressed his lips briefly to the side of her head. "I thought you were dead. We all did. Jacob was-" she felt him shake his head, felt a faint tremor rock his body.
"I'm okay." She whispered.
Embry made a disbelieving noise. "Somehow, right now, I doubt you are." He stood, keeping her tucked against him, and started for the bathroom. "You need a shower and some dry clothes."
Alex stiffened as he opened the bathroom door. "You are not watching me shower."
Embry snorted lightly, the gesture feeling a little forced. "Don't flatter yourself. You ain't my type, Xena." Alex made herself laugh at his attempt at humour. "But I will be right outside." He said threateningly.
Set on her feet for the first time since she'd been pulled from the water, Alex was painfully aware of her body's weakness, of the throbbing bruise on the back of her head, of the strain in her muscles, of the rattling rasp of her lungs, the burn in her nose and throat. She could have died. The realisation made her sway in place, reaching out to grab at the sink desperately.
Embry, as if attuned, called out from the hall. "You alright?"
"Y-yeah." She said, meeting her own eyes in the mirror. She looked like a wreck, pale and waterlogged, mouth still faintly purple, with bloodshot eyes and bedraggled hair. She turned on the shower hurriedly, stepping under the spray once it started steaming, in relief.
The hot water seemed to ease her tense muscles somewhat and she worked methodically to clean herself. The scent of the sea rose in the air as the salt water came washing off her, and she pretended the smell didn't frighten her, that it didn't make her think of the pounding waves and the desperate fear closing her throat.
Embry must have snuck in silently, because when she emerged from the shower, a pile of clothes had appeared by the sink. She dried her hair as best she could with a towel, unwilling to exacerbate her headache by blasting a hairdryer in her ears.
The clothes weren't her own. A large pair of worn sweats she thought might have been Sam's and an old holey shirt she recognized as Jared's sat on top of a pair of Emily's socks. She pulled them on, smiling bemusedly as she tied the string of the sweats tight.
Embry was waiting for her, and before she could protest, he was picking her up again. Alex of the morning, Alex of full strength and vigour might have protested, but this Alex – nearly-drowned-and-bone-tired-Alex – didn't resist. He settled back into the couch, reaching with one long arm for the throw blanket to drape over both of them before he pressed his nose once to her neck and sniffed audibly.
Alex wrinkled her nose, waiting until he met her gaze to raise a judging eyebrow. He shrugged. "You smell better now." He said simply.
"What, eau-de-ocean was a bit strong?" she tried to joke. Embry remained serious.
"You smelt like fear, Alex. You smelt like distress, and now you don't." He said, tugging on the collar of her borrowed shirt. Alex blinked, heart panging in her chest. "You should get some rest." He said gently.
"The bedrooms are that way." Alex nodded towards the hallway, and it was Embry's turn to raise a brow.
"You want to be alone right now?" Damn. He knew her too well. Maybe knew her a little better than she knew herself, and she didn't think she had loved her best friend more than she did just then. Because no. No, she did not want to be alone, didn't think she could be. She shook her head mutely, and let Embry tuck her comfortably against his chest, kicking up his own long legs along the back of the couch, and closing his eyes.
She felt almost, almost better. Better – but for the distant ache of something missing. Something she didn't want to put a name to. Alex closed her eyes almost defiantly. She could survive without it. it didn't define her, and it clearly didn't define him.
Sleep found her, despite her restless mind, and she gave into it willingly.