29
"So … there is another cluster" Beckett said as Ianto and Jack entered the base together, the obviousness of this not lost on anyone.
"Where?" Ianto asked with concern, growing to mild alarm as he learned it was in Scotland. He moved to one side to call Her Majesty and double check that she was adhering to his overbearing orders with regard to the water at her estate.
He watched as Jack and the others poured over the map for the village concerned and confirmed with his boss that it was nowhere near her but he wanted her to remain vigilant. She did ask about Jack and he did answer "Slowly. Softly, and with caution."
He finished put the call and came to stand nearby, now drinking in the map as the others continued to talk, oblivious to Ianto's growing amusement over something he could see. Jack could feel it stirring in the room, like a soft sweetness in the air and he swung to se Ianto grinning madly like someone had told him a joke. An Owenism as he used to call weird things that amused him.
"Ianto?"
Instead of answering him Ianto turned to Rex "Rex. This might be one for you. You are a senior Agent here… you should take the lead on this one. We have a Torchwood Base in Scotland ya know. Archie runs it. Torchwood House. The Warehouse where we keep a lot of spooky-doos as Andy here calls them. He's a weird cat but is closest to the cluster to monitor for us."
"Me" Rex asked with surprise the he puffed out his chest "Of course. I will go there and …"
"Oh no. you cannot go there. He will shoot you on sight. Silly old codger has a thing about trespassers. No. Call him on the vid-com. That's the only way he will ever get to know and trust you. Recognize you if you do ever go there and hopefully not get shot too much" Ianto said as he scribbled on a piece of paper "Here. Put this into the system and that screen over there will become your video link with him."
Jack had his hand over his mouth like a child watching something gunny, alerting the others as his glee in the way he was now slinking around to stand by Ianto showed something was about to happen.
Rex stood firm as the screen flickered to life and he started to speak straight away "Hi there, I'm Rex Matheson, Special Agent for Torchwood International wanting to …. Hello?"
Rex now realized he was staring at a weird looking cat. A naked one, skin all saggy and sort of … plucked chickenish in appearance sitting on a plush pillow staring at them like they were expected. Rex blinked and turned to Ianto "Ah.. is that…"
"Christ" Andy hissed "It's a feckin alien?"
"Monica" a Scottish brogue cut the silence on the other end "did you pick up you bad pussy? I told you, no blinking lights! Bad pussy."
Archie appeared, scraggly, ancient and wild like he had just crawled out from under some gorse bushes, his tartan beret cocked jauntily to one side "Who is that!"
"Sir, Rex Matheson of …"
"Speak up boy, I can't hear you over her purring"
"REX MATHESON!"
"Well, ye donae need tae shout now lad!"
Jack snorted softly form behind his both hands, now slapped over his face as he tried not to look at the train wreak about to happen. Ianto simply blinked slowly and motioned for Rex to have some balls.
"Sir. I am Rex Matheson of Torchwood…"
"I'm Torchwood!"
"Yes sir… me too" Rex said, a slight whine to his voice "I am in Cardiff."
"Ah. Sorry, you need to talk to the Captain then. I am in Scotland! Captain Harkness, handsome devil. Go find him! Cardiff is his stretch of the woods boy!"
"Sir!" Rex barked, then gaped as the screen went black. Archie had leaned forward and punched a button to end the call as the cat yawned delicately on the pillow between them.
Jack was not able to compose himself any longer, howling with mirth as he doubled up, laughing into his shoes.
Ianto reached around Rex and hit redial, leaning over Rex's shoulder so when the screen flickered to life he was able to be seen "Archie old man!"
"Ianto! Isn't that yerself!" Archie crowed happily "Where ya been ye wee beastie!"
"You know me… busy little bee. Speaking of which … the Queen Bee is at her Head Hive and wants me to let you know that we have a cluster of Decay near you. Rex here will send though the info like a good man" Ianto patted Rex's shoulder as Archie squinted like he could not see the large black man in the middle of his screen.
"I know him" he finally said after examining Rex with his glasses on the end of his nose "We've spoke before."
"Minutes ago" Rex said in a low tone as Jack howled again and now fell to his knees, Archie's face lighting up.
"That's Jack the Lad!"
"Hey…hey…Arch…." Jack choked out, clinging to the back of the chair for support as he let the mirth flow.
"Ah, ye know there son … ye could'a said" Archie growled at the hapless Rex as Ianto waved his fingers at the cat and made a kissy face. "Ye look after that boy!"
The cat meowed softly and rubbed the screen where she could see Ianto's face... Making fans everywhere as Rex crashed and burned.
"Don't worry Rex" Jack finally managed to choke out several minutes later "He didn't like Owen either."
Somehow that didn't make Rex feel any better.
But it did gain a soft smile from Ianto.