23 CATELYN III

No one can feel what a mother's heart feels. None can imagine my continuous worry and endless thoughts about my children's safety. They are full grown men and women now, but to me, they are still my little children nonetheless

Whether it was for Sansa and her wedding or Robb and the throne or lost Arya or even Bran with his unnerving silence.

Despite all aspects of joy for the upcoming wedding, something in my heart don't go well with surrendering my daughter again to some lord far away in the south. The Tyrrell boy seems amiable enough and eager to strengthen his ties with the throne but somehow he wasn't as loyal as I hoped for Sansa. His main motive was to raise himself. It's almost impossible to find someone who has a different motive now but what really grated on my nerve was his sympathy with the bastard and his Lannister wife!

The little whore had the guts to sit by my side and hum this damn song. How dare she? Sansa blamed me later for slapping the girl "There was no need for that, Mother, you could have ignored it. Surely she didn't mean it" and I could see the same blame in Ser Brienne's eye.

But Sansa and Brienne, you weren't there at the twins or else you would have done the same. You don't know what I remember when I hear it, the blood, the massacre, the screams, scent of death and taste of betrayal. Since that day, I didn't have a day of rest. Every day was a struggle for survival. It's my right now after all the sufferings to enjoy my meal without those hated memories. And dearest Sansa, you must always remember, a lion will always have claws even a defeated one!

In a coat of gold or a coat of red,

A lion still has claws*

And the only good thing about this incident that it exposed the other bastard with his vile intentions. You won't believe what he did.

The same night, I found him at my solar's door, he never did it before in all his life. He never dared. He just entered and threatened me!

"Don't you dare to touch her ever again"

"Are you threatening me? Are you out of your mind bas…"

"I might be a bastard but I will never let you treat her like you did to me before"

"You forget yourself Snow. You are talking to the lady of Winterfell, Hand of the king"

"I never forget, Catelyn"

I was shocked by his impertinence, he never dared to talk to me like that, I was full of rage "How dare you, bastard" and I raised my hand to slap him but his hand grabbed mine midair and he tighten his grip till it hurts and whispered "heed my words, lady Stark, the next time you raise this hand, it will be your last day to have it"

He left me with a sore arm and open mouth

I couldn't believe it. What got into him? He would never dare to talk to me like this before.

I hated him more than ever, and moreover I was also scared of him. Fear, anger and hatred grew in me. He is the bad omen that cursed my life. The stain on my marriage, the wall between me and Ned, the usurper of my son's birth right. In all our misfortunes, it should have always been him. Never Bran, never Robb

I went crying to Robb who heard me in astonishment. He just murmured "what gone into his head, first Gendry and now you" I didn't know what he was talking about "Gendry?"

"He threatened Ser Gendry also. He even used Ghost in the process"

Should I be thankful that he came alone then?

Then he sighed and blamed me "you shouldn't have tried to hit him mother. He isn't a boy anymore. He is a man, a dangerous one!"

"If you know he is dangerous, why are you keeping him here?"

"What else could I have done, mother. The change in his status is still faster than what the north will accept, he is a favorite with the crowd, you know, both small folk and highborn as well. He even looks like father"

He said the last sentence in utter sadness. I remembered the time when I was angered by this resemblance and Robb used to laugh about it. He doesn't laugh anymore!

He then whispered to himself "maybe he fall for the girl!" and then to me in a clear voice

"Don't worry mother, I will deal with him, I will make him apologize"

"I just wish him dead"

"Mother!" he blamed me again!

"You still love him, you fool"

And I left angrily

As if in undeclared agreement, Robb prohibited their attendance to family meals and they never tried to attend again without even being informed of the decision. It was better for my appetite anyway

I don't know what happened between Robb and Snow but the bastard came one day and approached me while I was with Sansa. He greeted Sansa bowing with a smug "my princess". He then looked at me, grabbed my hand in an iron grip and raised it to his mouth despite my resistance all the way. He smirked and brushed my hand with his mouth "Apologies my lady". He felt my fear and enjoyed it!

Petyr told me that this pathetic apology didn't come easily and that Robb had to pay for it. He included Snow as one of the army officers so he would have an income independent of Winterfell. He said that Snow was furious about his status here. I couldn't believe how ungrateful he was, I knew now I will kill him one day

And despite the turbulence inside Winterfell, things went smooth outside. The money from Dorne, the Reach and Castrely Rock started to pour and we could pay a lot of soldiers their promised due

Bran assured us during the last small council that people are happier with Robb's rein with every passing day. He also dutifully accepted the marriage proposal Robb suggested between him and Lord Manderly niece. I knew the girl, Amarylis, she wasn't much of a beauty but she will do for the purpose. Robb chose her over Lord Mandrly's granddaughters because of their relative young age and because he didn't like the camaraderie between their father Ser Wylis and Jon Snow. Robb assigned me to negotiate the union so I will soon travel to white harbor to rely the particulars of the offer. Bran will be declared lord of Dreadfort upon marriage and lord Manderly will be created master of war. An honorary seat in the small council that will be summoned during wars only. I actually liked the idea and prayed for lord Manderly approval. If we could reach an agreement, the betrothal will be announced at Sansa's wedding in the presence of all lords of the seven kingdoms.

I was hoping for Arya to be present at the wedding but the expedition failed to find her till now. Despite a lone report of her presence in kings landing during the massacre. I refused to believe the ominous report and still hoping for her safe return

We talked for a while about trivial business then Prince Trystane just asked Bran "did you hear about the dragon my prince?"

Dragon? What dragon? I am starting to hate this boy with his endless tiresome questions. What was he talking about now?

Bran looked at him with his hollow eyes and said "there were reports about spotting a dragon on northern borders but we can't have a confirmation yet"

Robb seemed annoyed by that. He was the only one here to deal with a dragon first hand and now there should be no delay in reaction against such a threat. We can't afford a repeat of kings landing's fate

Lord Redwyne asked in fear "But there is no more Targaryen, can the dragon attack on its own?"

Petyr said "If a dragon is Hungary or angry, he will be dangerous enough on its own"

Robb added angrily "Rider or no rider, the dragon must die. We won't wait him to be hungry, that's if there was one already" he then started to distribute his orders "We need the confirmation and more information about it soon Bran. If its only rumors, People must be distracted to other direction, lord Baelish could work on that and Maester Jarmey, send a raven to retrieve the scorpion from kings landings. Once here, I want to reproduce one for each city in Westeros and fortify Winterfell against whatever befall from the sky"

The meeting was wrapped after that but Robb called for Bran to stay "I expect to be informed about such news before it reach others in the castle. I don't appreciate hearing about it from dornishmen"

"Maybe you should have heard it before from dornishwomen!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know exactly what I mean your grace, the whole castle knew by the way"

Bran looked at Robb's angry face without flinching and asked "anything else your grace?"

Robb hissed "just go"

I didn't know what to say or rather I knew but it was heavy on my heart to do it. I knew women were his defect, first Talisa and now the Sand snake. He shouldn't lose another throne for a woman, he didn't even love the snake!

I could sympathize with him. Alys was pushing him away without uttering a word and he needed a kind shoulder to ease his pains.

"Do you trust her?"

He looked lost like the boy he was years ago and answered weakly "no mother, I try not to"

But I could see it with my heart, he is losing the grip. Not again Robb, not again

I put my hands on his shoulder and whispered "send her away and soon you will forget"

It took him a while to say weakly "yes, I will, mother" but I could see his eyes telling another story

*Rains of Castamere song