Skaifaya

by Cairlinn1991

What if Charlotte was not the only or even the youngest child on the dropship? This is the story of nine-year-old Marie Matthews, who is sent down to earth as a member of the 100. When Murphy is exiled from the 100 Marie follows him and they run into grounders. Separated from the 100 and to become Anya's second how will Marie stay alive and find a new life for herself?

24. Chapter 24 (231 - 240)

Chapter 241

After the doors had been closed again behind Clarke's retreating back, Lexa was powerless to fight against the tears burning within her eyes for even a single moment longer and she did not even bother to brush them away either. No one was there to watch her break after all and as long as she pulled herself back together in time, even she was allowed to break once in a while.

Lexa looked around the room and she felt her chest tighten again as almost every space of her quarters was once again tied tightly to memories associated with Marie. It had been nearly paralyzing to lose the girl once, thinking now that they were shortly before losing the girl again and this time irrevocably, was a thought just too painful to dwell on. Lexa had no idea how she should survive the grief of losing her daughter like that. While Marie had been with the Ice queen and they had assumed the girl to have died, she had had Clarke's unwavering support, but now, she would be alone once again. She was almost certain that Anya would ask to be sent back into Trikru lands and away from the capitol. This time she would also let her leave, she would not like to watch her go, but she had no right to demand from the woman to remain by her side either.

She stood up from her chair as well, forcing her body back into movement, ignoring the tears still streaming down her cheeks. Her thoughts turned dark all of a sudden, convinced once again that she just did not deserve any form of happiness as the commander. She had loved Costia and lost her through Nia's hand, she had loved, or rather still loved, Clarke, but she had ended things with the blonde healer as well, only to hear now, that she would lose the child she loved so deeply to a sickness, something which they were powerless to fight against. Lexa wished to scream at the injustice of it all. But she knew, that she somehow would need to continue to function and to execute her duties, like was expected of her, she could not break completely and Marie was still here after all.

Another tear rolled down her cheek at the realization that the girl's death looming above them, ready to rip the child from them at any moment, would from now on tarnish every moment they still had with their daughter. She knew that a part of her mind would always be hyperaware of the fact that this very moment could be the last which they would share with the girl and there was absolutely nothing they could do. Lexa sighed deeply, turning towards the bathroom, intent to wash away the tears from her face. She should not have believed into the chance of this true happiness in the first place.

Lexa's face hardened slightly after she had washed off the fresh tear tracks from her skin. She did not wish the girl to see her like this. The girl had obviously realized already that something was wrong with her and was already worried enough. Before they did not know for sure that there might not be a little chance of a treatment, about which she would demand Clarke to speak again in Anya's presence as soon as possible, she did not wish to tell Marie of Clarke's suspicion just now.

Marie had spoken once about having to watch her mother getting weaker and weaker, as the treatment had not worked for her any longer, and how she had broken into the medical bay, intent to steal more medication for her mother. She could imagine that the girl would be completely paralyzed with fear wen she heard that she could be suffering from the disease which had killed her mother in front of her eyes.

Lexa forced her thoughts to quiet down after another few moments, focusing her attention on fixing her appearance quickly. She still needed to visit the conclave, the nightblood children needed her as well and they would need her to remain strong no matter what.

When Marie woke the next time, she immediately looked through the room, grey eyes slightly panicked until she could spot Lexa and Anya sitting on the couch and a slight smile settled on her face, when she noticed Risha lying next to her on the bed. She reached out and let her fingers glide through wolf's soft grey fur and a slight giggle passed through her lips as Risha suddenly leapt forward and licked over her face.

Lexa turned around on the couch and a soft expression appeared on her features, as she immediately stood up to move over to Marie. "How do you feel?" she addressed the girl kindly, while her gaze scanned the girl over quickly, looking for any signs of the child not feeling well.

Marie's brows furrowed for a moment and her head tilted to the sight slightly, thinking for a moment about how she was feeling at all. "Good" she settled on with a little smile, pushing the furs from her body and nudging Risha from herself as well.

The wolf scrutinized her human for a moment, turning around a moment later and jumping from the bed in the direction of the fire place and rolling itself together there, ice blue eyes burning over to the bed almost accusative.

"How long have I slept?" Marie asked with a slight frown and in a hesitant tone.

Lexa remained silent for a moment, giving the girl a sympathetic smile "You were tired, Marie, it does not matter".

Marie's frown only deepened at the vague answer, she sensed easily that Lexa was hesitant to tell her something, which seemed uncharacteristic of her, but before she could prod the woman further, Anya appeared behind her.

"You have missed dinner" the general said, voice showing a slight amount of worry, as she gazed down at the girl.

Marie's grey eyes widened slightly "I have slept the whole day" she exclaimed in exasperation and her mouth pulled into a pout.

"Do not worry over it" Anya put a damper to the girl's obvious intent on arguing. They had considered waking the girl, but had decided against it in the end. Marie had slept without nightmares for hours, which was unusual for the child to begin with. It appeared as if the girl was simply requiring much more sleep now and they were worried that keeping her awake on purpose would only quicken her condition to worsen. "There is some dinner left for you" Anya put her hands on the girl's thin shoulders, giving her a slight nudge into the direction of the table.

Marie's pout lessened a little and she sat down at the table again, her grey eyes continued to focus back on Lexa, something seemed off about the woman, but she could not identify just what. She noticed only now that Ontari was actually not within the quarters any longer and she immediately wondered where the older girl could be. Would they move back into their original quarters? Could Clarke have been there because of that? Had she and Lexa reconciled with each other? For some reason that thought did not sit right with her. Would they move back to their original quarters because of Clarke?

She picked at her food without any real appetite. She did not want to leave the commander's quarters. They had just returned to the capitol after all. She sensed that both women were sort of tenser than normal and both of them seemed to watch her every move, although they also seemed to try not to be so apparent about it.

"Are you feeling sick?" Lexa asked worriedly, after watching the girl only shoving some of the food around the plate without actually eating anything. She had agreed with Anya that they wanted to speak with Clarke again about the treatment option and that the blonde healer could take another look at Marie.

Anya reached out, feeling the girl's temperature quickly, thankfully the girl's skin felt normal to the touch.

Marie frowned at the overly worried antics of both of them. Besides being too tired, she felt fine and her appetite had been next to non-existing for some time now as well. "I am fine" she answered, voice strong and a hint of annoyance flashed through her grey eyes, looking between the both of them for a moment.

"Then eat, little star" Lexa appeased the girl in a softer tone and she opened her mouth to say more, but was interrupted by a knock at her door. She sighed under her breath; she had asked not to be disturbed today after all. She lightly let a hand rest on the girl's head for a moment and a slight smile ghosted around her lips when Marie's head tilted upwards and their eyes met for a second, before she moved towards the doors to her quarters.

Marie's eyes followed Lexa for a second, but they widened when her gaze fell back onto the table and she noticed the state of one of Anya's hands, resting on the surface of the table. The knuckles were clearly busted and looked swollen and tender. "Where is Ontari?" she asked intently "Did something happen while I slept? Will we have to move back to our quarters?"

Anya's eyes narrowed slightly at the girl, wondering where she had come up with the last question. She had certainly not hinted at the possibility of moving back into their own quarters now, neither would she and Anya was fairly certain that Lexa would prefer to let the girl stay now more than ever. Before she could have even reacted, Marie had reached out and she felt a white-hot pain burn through her hands as the skin healed in an instant and her hand once again did not even have a single scratch. She had barely even seen the girl's fingers glow for more than a second, before the child's talent had healed her slight injury already. A glance over her shoulder told her, that it was Clarke standing within the opened door to the commander's quarters and she breathed out a sigh of internal relief, the girl was becoming too careless in using her talent. It seemed that their cautioning of the girl to cut down on her usage of it had been completely in vain.

Marie gave the general a sheepish and innocent look, when she noticed the dwindling annoyance in the woman's brown eyes, before she glanced towards the door as well and noticed Clarke's presence and a frown settled on her features, wondering once again if the healer would be moving back in with Lexa, the commander after all still loved her.

Lexa motioned Clarke inside and although her back had been turned towards Marie, she had still caught the questions which she had asked Anya "You are not going to move back into your own quarters, only if you wish to" she assured the child immediately and she was sure without the girl actually answering that Marie would not willingly change anything about their sleeping arrangement "And Ontari is with the rest of the conclave for now" she added. The older nightblood still had not truly found a connection to the rest of her novitiates and it actually had been Ontari's suggestion to stay with them for now.

Marie seemed to be at least slightly put at ease again by Lexa's words and her body relaxed visibly, looking up at Clarke curiously instead.

"I want to examine you again" she said and Marie immediately pulled a face.

"I am fine" Marie repeated defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. She still remembered Abby wanting to examine her, only to put her to sleep without even saying anything beforehand and waking up in pain afterwards.

"Marie" Lexa admonished the girl in a slightly sharper tone "We do want Clarke to take another look at you".

Marie held the commander's gaze for long silent moments, probably internally thinking if she could somehow sway the woman's mind. Her shoulders dropped a little in defeat another moment later and she looked up again with her shoulders hunched slightly and a sad expression on her features.

When Marie made to stand up, Clarke stepped closer "You can remain sitting for now" she said "I want to look at your head first" she explained. She lightly grabbed onto the girl's chin and forced it upwards, when Marie remained staring at her own knees instead.

Marie's features clearly showed her resistance to being examined again at all, but she remained still now. She only tried to move her head away, when Clarke actually pressed down on the bump on her forehead with a little force.

Clarke tightened her fingers around the girl's chin quickly, immobilizing the girl with a strong grasp, from moving away completely. It seemed that the bump was getting smaller slowly, but was obviously painful to the touch. She still could make out if the girl's skull might have suffered another crack or not though.

"Alright" she said, easing away from Marie a little "You can stand up now".

Marie rubbed at her chin a little, grey eyes looked accusatory towards Clarke.

Lexa offered a hand to the girl, leading her a little away from the table and she turned an inquiring gaze to Clarke, asking the woman mutely where she would need Marie to be.

Clarke inclined her head and straightened herself, a kind and open expression on her features "Anya said that you are having bruises on your back. Strip out of your clothes for me, so that I can take a look at that, please" she directed.

Marie's grey eyes shortly flitted to Lexa, who gave her a reassuring nod and squeezed her hand shortly, before letting go, but she remained close to the child. She stepped closer again to Marie, when the girl had turned her head and her gaze landed on Marie's chin. The skin there was definitely red now and if it was not her imagination, it was already beginning to bruise.

Her green eyes blazed angrily when she gently urged Marie to turn her head again and she now clearly could make out the shape of Clarke's fingers imprinted on the child's fair skin, bruising up in front of her eyes.

Anya frowned when she noticed Lexa's frame tensing and how her breathing had visibly shuddered, only to be exhaled in an angry huff. She stepped closer towards Marie and Lexa, while Clarke remained a little in the background, visibly confused by Lexa's sudden anger. She took in a startled breath, when she noticed what Lexa must have already, bruises from Clarke restricting Marie's movements only moments ago were already beginning to show on the girl's skin. Her eyebrows raised in alarm; this surely could not be normal any longer. If the girl had bruised this easily before, she would have constantly been black and blue during the beginning of their training.

Clarke almost hesitantly stepped closer, when Anya made a little more room.

Marie's features showed her clear confusion as to why they were reacting like this and the girl threw unsettled gazes between them continuously.

Clarke's brows furrowed when she followed Lexa's clearly accusatory gaze; she had seen the woman's jaw clenching and how her nostrils had flared just the slightest bit, both were clear signs of the brunette's annoyance ticking up. She blinked a few times, when her eyes finally focused on Marie's chin and she had to recognize that her fingers had visibly left marks on Marie's skin. She frowned, she had not touched Marie that harshly after all, sure she had exerted some force to keep her in place, but nothing so extreme that it should warrant a bruise to form so quickly.

"You have left a bruise on her skin" Lexa seethed darkly, teeth visibly clenched and whole composure tense.

Marie's own eyes widened and she reached up to her chin, as if to feel for the affected area.

Clarke shook her head quickly "You have seen that I have not touched her so strongly to provoke this purposefully" she justified herself. She tried not to feel hurt by Lexa's obviously quick conclusion that she was to blame "Marie, can you please strip out of your shirt?" she repeated, trying to ignore the commander's heavy gaze resting on herself.

Marie was very obviously influenced by Lexa's mannerism and it took her long moments to finally comply with Clarke's order.

Anya took the shirt from the girl's hands and her brown eyes widened, when she noticed several more bruises on Marie's body, than had been there on the previous night. A rather large bruise had formed on one of her shoulders and Anya could easily spot other bruises, some larger, some smaller marring the skin of the girl's chest, stomach and arm. Her back had already been bruised on the night before, but where could all of these bruises have come from? The child had only left the commander's quarters in Ontari's company during the day and Anya did not doubt for a second that the nightblood would have told them if they had run into trouble, or if Marie had for some reason left her, if even only for a very short amount of time.

Lexa turned slightly at hearing Anya's sharp intake of breath and the anger immediately drained from her mind, replaced by internal horror at seeing the actual state of Marie's body.

Clarke stepped closer as well and she felt the dark realization settle in her mind that leukaemia appeared to be an even more likely diagnose for the girl. Bruising this quickly and severely was definitely not the healthy reaction of a body.

"What?" Marie exclaimed, clearly unnerved by the heavy stares of the three women and she crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously.

"Did her skin show this amount of bruising already last night?" Clarke asked in a calm tone, stepping around the child and inspecting her back as well. Some of the bruising on her back clearly accumulated around her spine.

Anya shook her head in the negative, expression crestfallen and brown eyes grave.

Lexa's gaze was still focused on Marie's exposed body, while her mind tried to come to terms with what she was seeing. She knew that the girl had not been training and she most definitely had not gotten this amount of bruising during the war either.

Before any of them could say or do anything else, Marie suddenly reached up to her nose, feeling something run form it and let out a startled whine when her fingers were tinted once again red with blood. Her grey eyes were wide as she stared at her shaking fingers and breathing suddenly became almost impossible, as her chest tightened and refused to draw even a single further breath.

Lexa knew what to expect now and quickly crossed the remaining distance to Marie, catching the child as soon as she began to waver on her feet. She easily brought the now unconscious girl into her arms and carried her over to the bed, placing her on the mattress gently, before she placed a fur above her, to keep her warm. She stayed beside the bed for a moment, watching the girl's chest rise and fall with each breath, fearing somehow that her breathing would stop right now in front of her very eyes.

Clarke's expression was serene, as she watched Lexa carry Marie to the bed. She was most certainly convinced now, that Marie was suffering from an acute leukaemia form, with the way how quickly the girl had developed her symptoms in only a few weeks, she knew that her prognosis would be extremely poor as well.

Chapter 242

When Ontari returned to the commander's quarters it did not take a genius to figure out that something was different. The commander and the general were still sitting in front of the fireplace, Risha sat at the commander's feet, head placed on one of her thighs and the commander seemed to almost absentmindedly let her fingers caress over the wolf's fur.

Both women appeared oddly serene and to Ontari it seemed as if the atmosphere was heavy in the room. Ontari wondered if their mood had something to do with Marie, she would have assumed to find the younger girl cuddled together with the commander on one of the armchairs, which seemed to have been about the favourite position of the child. But she finally spotted the younger girl lying in the bed already, obviously deeply asleep.

She knew that the two Trikru women were worried about Marie's increasing tiredness and the fact that she continued to have nosebleeds without prompting. She had also seen a bruise form in the span of mere minutes, just after holding the younger girl upright to keep her from falling on the way to the stables. Maybe the girl truly was sick and Wanheda was supposed to help her?

"Is something wrong with Marie?" she asked, voice slightly hesitant, unsure if the two women would even give her an answer.

Anya looked up at the sound of her older charge speaking, she had not truly noticed her arrival at all. They had not spoken about the possibility of Ontari sleeping with the other novitiates for the time being, so she should not have been surprised that Ontari had returned to the commander's quarters.

She considered for a moment on how much to tell the nightblood girl. She knew how deeply the friendship between the two girls ran and Ontari would see Marie getting worse any way. Keeping the truth from her seemed unwise somehow. Anya shortly bandied a glance with Lexa and a mute understanding passed between them.

"Clarke thinks that Marie has the same disease which has killed Marie's mother in the past" Anya explained, voice heavy and brown eyes visibly tearing up at the thought. She still could not accept that their daughter was in the process of dying, a large part of her mind simply refused to believe this, clinging to the fleeting hope that either Clarke's and Abby's assumption was flawed or that their treatments could save the child, although they had failed to save her mother.

Ontari blinked for a moment, as she tried to process the general's words. It took her a longer moment to understand the severity of the younger girl's constitution and her dark eyes widened. "Is she…" she began to question, but stopped for a second, as a lump lodged itself into her throat and she tried to swallow it down forcefully "Is she going to die?" she finally breathed out, aware of just how unsteady her tone was at the moment.

She knew the answer already, before either women gave her a verbal answer. Both of them had looked for a second as if she had physically struck them and she felt her own heart grow heavy with the thought of Marie dying any time soon. She wanted to ask after how long the younger girl was expected to make it, but she somehow was physically unable to force the words past her lips. She felt paralyzed and empty all of a sudden, each breath felt wrong somehow and she morbidly wondered just how many breaths Marie still had to breath, before her body would give out on her. She had of course noticed that something was not right with the younger girl's constitution any longer, but she had never assumed that it would be something this severe. She had not never contemplated the possibility of the younger girl dying any time soon, at least not removed from a battlefield.

During the last few hours, which she had spent with the other novitiates, Ontari had been constantly reminded of the fact of how different her relationship to the other nightbloods and to Marie would remain. She had learned by now that it would in the long run be better for her, if she at least got along slightly with the novitiates, but she was utterly certain that she would never find anyone else who would befriend her like Marie had. The blonde girl was unique in her mind and she would surely keep that place within her heart, even beyond her death.

On the next morning Marie woke up with a content smile, lying between Lexa and Anya on the huge bed. While she was actually cuddled up to Lexa, she could feel one of Anya's arms resting over her shoulder as well. Not much light was filtering inside of the room just yet, so it must still have been some time before dawn.

She could feel Lexa's fingers lazily move along her back in a gentle caress and she let her eyes drift close again for a moment. A thought bugged at her mind, keeping her from falling back asleep completely "Mommy?" she whispered, grey eyes opening again and she felt the fingers on her back halt in their movement for a moment, indicating that the woman was listening. "Are you gonna show me the ocean soon?" she asked the actual thought which had been stuck in her mind in a slightly hopeful tone.

She felt Lexa take in a deep breath beneath herself and she could feel the woman's upper body vibrate slightly as she gave her answer "We shall see". Marie was not able to analyse Lexa's tone right now, as sleep already began to tug at her consciousness again and she let her whole frame relax again.

When she opened them again, more time must have passed and she was suddenly alone in the bed. Marie sat up under the furs with a frown on her features. Both places next to her were cold, so the two women must have left the bed some time ago. When she looked around the room, her frown only deepened, as she could spot neither Lexa nor Anya.

She blinked her eyes a few times, focusing on the table and her brows furrowed, when she finally recognized that the person sitting on one of the chairs was in fact Gustus.

The burly man looked over at her only a moment later and his dark eyes were kind as he met Marie's gaze.

"Where are Lexa and Anya?" Marie asked, not able to completely ban a little whine from her tone. She loved waking up slowly with either or preferably both of them, but she guessed that now that the day of resting had passed, both had been swamped by their receptive duties once again. She wondered why neither of them had bothered to wake her up though, they usually only allowed her to sleep through the time it took them to get ready for the day and maybe through breakfast as well. But she could not remember now, if this scenario now had already happened in the past.

Gustus expression turned sober at the child's innocent question. It was obvious that the girl would have preferred Lexa's and Anya's company by far over his own and the pure love this reaction showed, warmed his heart a little, despite the circumstances "The Ice queen will be executed shortly" he explained in a slightly sharp tone. Lexa had in fact ordered him to keep watch of Marie for the time being, as they did not want Marie to be at the execution.

Marie felt her throat constrict at the man's words and she needed a moment to try to calm down her frantically beating heart again. She had of course known already that the queen would be executed, so it was not truly a surprise.

Lexa had felt the girl drift off again in her arms only moment after she had felt her wake up. The girl's clearly hopeful question kept on repeating itself within her mind and she felt her heart grow heavy at the realization that they may never have the chances now to actually travel through the clans with their daughter.

She involuntarily tightened her arms around the child's smaller body, bringing her the slightly bit closer to herself. She remembered her own promises to the girl so clearly, which she had made during the time in medical bay in Arkadia, while they had thought that Marie might never wake up again.

Lexa felt her throat tighten painfully at the realization that they had already thought to have lost the child two times by now and were now already waiting for the third time to happen. In the medical bay they had later assumed that Marie's talent might have saved the child from death and Lexa wondered for a fleeting moment if this could happen again. How often could the girl really be on the brink of death and walk out alive again?

Tearing herself out of the bed only shortly later was almost physically painful right now, as her mind was only all too aware of the fact that this very moment could very well already be the last chance, she had to hold the girl like this.

Lexa felt her eyes mist over with tears and she blinked her eyes forcefully, blinking the tears away, not allowing them to fall down. The child was still there and although they did not know for how long she would remain to do so, it would not help either of them to think in such a fashion. They should cherish each moment they were granted with the girl, yes, but always assuming it to be the very last, would only tarnish the little time they had left together.

She needed long moments to entangle herself from Marie without waking the girl up in the process. She had scheduled Nia's execution for dawn of this day and she could barely wait for justice to finally be served.

Anya was woken by the sound of Lexa walking through the room on bare feet and she stretched slightly. The hint of a smile settled onto her features, when she took in Marie's sleeping form next to her. The child's features were totally relaxed at the moment and looked almost peaceful.

She reached out to brush a blonde lock from the girl's forehead, keeping her touch featherlight and her smile deepened when the girl subconsciously followed her gentle touch, tilting her head in her direction and the smallest hint of a content smile settled on Marie's young features.

"Let her sleep" Lexa suddenly said, keeping her tone low and coming to stand next to the bed, watching the small gentle exchange between Anya and their daughter play out. "She does not have to be at the execution" she added.

Anya frowned slightly "She should be, she is our second" she retorted.

Lexa shook her head and her tone was almost bitter as she said "That will not matter anymore in the future and I do not want her to have to see and partake in this execution. I do not want her to suffer anything again at all in the remain…" she broke off suddenly and her expression turned deeply sad as well.

Anya nodded with a deep sigh; she could certainly understand the young leader's intention without her to end what she had begun to say. She felt another painful tug at her heart and she let her fingers caress along the side of Marie's face once more. Her eyes narrowed down at the slight bruising now truly recognizable on the child's chin and she finally rolled herself out of bed as well a moment later. "Who will…?" she began to ask, but was interrupted by Lexa.

"Gustus can stay with her" the commander immediately said. She would have preferred to stay with the child herself, but she knew that she would not be able to spend all time of the day with the girl and not wanting her to be at the execution overweighed her almost physical need to stay close to Marie by far. She had contemplated to let Ontari stay with their daughter, Marie would probably enjoy her company better, but she thought it important to have the Ice Nation nightblood present at the execution of her former puppet master.

Anya nodded in mute acknowledgement. She would have proposed to stay here instead, but the anger at the Ice queen still coursed hotly through her veins and she had no intention to pass up on the chance of inflicting at least some of the pain the woman had put Marie through back on her. She quickly went about dressing herself back into her armour, watching from the corners of her eyes how Lexa did the same. She strode over to the couch and quickly gave Ontari's shoulder a little shake, her older charge had gotten so used with this sleeping arrangement that she rarely woke anymore at low sounds.

Ontari was instantly awake at the touch and her gaze immediately went to the bed, checking on the fact that Marie was still there. Anya and Lexa had not told her any specifics about how severe the younger girl's disease was, but it was almost painfully clear in almost every word about the child that they seemed to regard it a valid possibility that the girl could even be dying in the next few days, it had not sounded at all as if they thought it likely for Marie to make it through another winter. She had thought that Skykru medicines were supposed to be that much more advanced, so why did they not have the means to cure the younger girl? Did they simply not wish to help the girl because she had denounced her origin? But she was fairly certain that the commander would move heaven and hell for the child if that was the case, even going to war against the small clan if necessary.

She got ready quickly as well, trying to make as few sounds as possible. It astounded her slightly that Marie did not even stir once on the bed, sleeping through them getting ready, Alira coming into the commander's quarters and doing her hair and delivering a light breakfast. Ontari had hovered next to the table for a few moments indecisively.

The general had sat down on the edge of the bed again, balancing a plate with breakfast on her lap. The woman was not physically touching Marie, but her brown eyes travelled back to the girl every other moment.

Ontari considered again to ask about how long they were expecting Marie to make it from now on, but she decided against it, when Alira left the commander's quarters and Gustus entered instead.

She was a little taken off guard, when the general had finished her quick breakfast and motioned her over to apply some warpaint to her features. Anya had painted typical Trikru warpaint onto the skin of her face and Ontari felt it settle almost coldly against her skin. She had rarely worn warpaint so far and if any, then the typical white warpaint of Azgeda. Her dark eyes shown with a hint of gratitude at the general and for some reason the small gesture of applying this warpaint and by thus symbolizing her connection to the general, made a weird warm feeling settle in the pit of her stomach. This gesture did not have anything to do with her friendship to Marie, it felt more as if she truly had earned the Trikru general's acceptance on her own now and it meant much more to Ontari than she either had expected nor would she ever admit to out loud.

Her feelings were in turmoil when they left the commander's quarters together, it had been almost weird to watch both women step to the bed shortly, pressing a light kiss to Marie's forehead as if in mute farewell, and now to know that they were going to Nia's execution.

Ontari had expected to feel relieved to see the woman finally being brought to an end. But her mind kept on flashing back to her own past in the queen's hands. She had once blindly believed the woman's vile words, simply not knowing any better. She knew better now and the realization of just how mistreated she had been at her hands still sat heavily on her mind. Seeing what Nia had done to Marie truly had driven home of just how cruel and merciless the woman truly was. She could barely believe now that she had once thrived to become a replica of her.

The streets of Polis were already filled to the brim with people. It did not come to any real surprise that there were barely any Ice Nation warriors among the crowd though. Lexa easily spotted that all other clans were widely distributed though and she noticed a small delegation of Azgeda standing directly in front of the podium at the basement of the tower. A few warriors surrounded the prince of Azgeda and the uneasiness seemed to be almost rolling off of them in waves.

Lexa could understand how torn the man would be about this execution, Nia was still his mother after all and no matter how vile she was, she would forever remain his family. She purposefully walked up to the group and greeted the prince obviously enough for everyone to see, she needed to make it absolutely clear from the start that Ice Nation would remain in her favour under their new rule, beginning this very day. She did not expect tensions between Ice Nation and the other clans to cool down immediately, but the others would always call out for their blood if she did not put a damper to it at once, broadcasting her trust in their prince like that. She was fairly certain that Ontari would be battling with mixed emotions as well, no matter how much Nia had turned her blind devotion into hate, a shadow of her desperate wish to please the woman would remain ingrained in her mind.

The commander stepped forward, head held high and green eyes blazing in their intensity, accentuated by the dark warpaint smeared around them, giving her face an even harder complexion "People of the kongeda…" she opened her speech, voice easily carrying over the crowd and all eyes were immediately hefted onto her as everyone fell silent, even the children scattered around the crowd seemed to hold their very breaths "…we have gathered here today to bring the justified end of queen Nia's rule. We will implement justice for her many transgressions against our laws. Nia has tried to destroy our unity and now she will be the one to fall."

Chapter 243

An agreeing murmur travelled through the crowd and Lexa's blazed even stronger minutely. It was obvious that her people agreed with her verdict over the queen and were looking forward to seeing the woman executed as much as she did. She would need to keep the mood between the clans exactly like that for her vision of the coalition ever becoming a true unit to come into fruition.

Lexa knew very well that Nia would have destroyed everything for which she had worked her whole life in her thrive for power, if the war had played out differently. The queen would undoubtedly have subjugated all other clans under her rule, elated Ice Nation above all others and she would have cared nothing for the suffering of the normal civilization.

Lexa gave the guards at the basement of the tower a nod, signalling for them to bring forth the queen.

During the short time it took them to escort Nia out of the tower, Lexa let her gaze travel up into the sky. She imagined that Costia would be watching this very moment and for the blink of an eye it seemed as if she could see her in front of her again. How her wild curls had always flown around her face, which almost always had been illuminated by a bright smile. She once again could see those loved twinkling eyes in the forefront of her mind and for the first time since she had lost her, the lively image was not replaced by the way she had found her head in her bed.

Melancholia washed through her mind momentarily, but it was dampened severely when the atmosphere in the crowd switched.

The queen was being led out of the tower at this very moment. Even now, bound by heavy chains, visibly dirty and gagged, the queen somehow still exuded power and her eyes had not lost any of their burning intensity yet.

Lexa straightened herself to full height and her melancholia was diminished completely when her eyes minutely connected with Nia's and she noticed the madness flashing through them again. Her mind immediately threw her back to the words the queen had hurled against both she and Anya in the tent a few days ago. All too soon the memory was replaced by flashes of how Marie had been directly after her return to the capitol, up to the many breakdown the child had suffered since then, most if not all of them prompted somehow by the trauma Nia had put their daughter through.

She felt the hatred coursing through her mind nearly consume all of her sensible thought, now more than ever. Nia had robbed both of them of precious months with their daughter. She had been convinced that they would have time, much more time with Marie than it now seemed likely to come true. If anything, it should have been herself in Marie's place. Lexa would gladly take this burden from her daughter, if she somehow could and she was sure Anya would readily offer the same.

Her green eyes were hard and cold as the queen was tied to the wooden post and she met her stare seemingly unfazed. The queen had been tied down in a way that her back faced the crowd for now. Lexa had previously decided that simply giving her death of a thousand cuts was not enough. Nyko stood next to the wooden post and when he received his nod, with the help of one of the guards, he forced the queen to drink whatever the vial in his hands contained.

Ontari watched the proceeding with a slight frown, she did not understand fully why she was so torn about watching this now. She had looked forward to the war and she had of course known that it would end in the queen's death if the coalition subdued Azgeda. She leaned slightly closer to Anya "What was that?" she asked under her breath, unable to stifle her curiosity for now. She knew well enough that the queen had often forced prisoners to drink halogenic concoctions, which made them easier to break and manipulate.

Anya did not look over at Ontari while she answered "Mixture of a strong coagulant, something to keep her awake and something which will make her last" her tone was harsh and her eyes remained hefted onto the queen. She knew how rarely Lexa agreed to the usage of substances like that during an execution, but there was not a sliver of doubt in her mind that the queen deserved every single ounce of suffering which she was going to experience now and she almost darkly wished that the woman would last for hours before she would be beheaded. She still remembered how Marie had spoken to Ontari about wishing to kill herself during the time with the queen and how Nia had outright told her that she would not deserve the mercy of death. If possible, Anya would like the possibility to torture the woman alone, keeping her alive for days, weeks even, until there would be nothing left of the proud and maniacal queen, replaced by someone begging for death instead.

The crowd watched in agitated tension as the queen was tied down and last her top was cut away, hanging from her shoulders in tatters. Her eyes were fixed on Ontari right now and her expression almost looked as if she truly expected the nightblood girl to come to her rescue.

For the flash of a second Lexa envisioned Ontari suddenly attacking her, if caught by surprise, the younger nightblood could very well overpower her and there was no doubt in her mind that the girl knew well enough on where to stab someone to kill with a single strike. She kept her eyes focused on Nia nevertheless, she did not doubt any longer that Ontari would betray her.

Lexa let her gaze wander over the crowd for a moment, waiting for the concoction which Nyko had forced down Nia's throat to take effect. It would keep her from bleeding out too quickly, denying her the refuge of unconsciousness, she would be awake and alter the whole time.

She proclaimed loudly that the queen's punishment would begin with a lashing. One chosen representative of each clan of the coalition would be handed the whip, allowed to inflict thirteen lashes on the queen, signifying the total number of the clans still united under the banner of the coalition, despite the queen's attempts to destroy it.

Roan had agreed that Ontari would be the one to get her go at the lashing on Azgeda's behalf and Lexa had decided that the nightblood girl would also be the first one as well. It would symbolize Ontari's switched loyalty even more.

Ontari visibly straightened her shoulders when Lexa gave her a nod, motioning her to stand forward.

Anya gave the girl a reassuring look but she still noticed the subtle shake of her charge's hands as she accepted the whip from a guard.

Ontari closed her eyes for a moment, as she closed her fingers tighter around the handle of the whip. She already had experience with giving a whipping, the queen had often ordered her to partake in the torture of one prisoner or the other and she had never questioned doing so at all. She had shuddered for a moment, as she had walked past Nia, the woman's eyes had connected with hers and she was struck, feeling herself mentally shrink down to the frightened child being brought in front of the queen all of those years ago. She would forever remember the first days of being with the queen.

Ontari shook her head slightly, clearing her mind of her dark memories, when she noticed that another murmur travelled through the crowd and she guessed that she must have hesitated for a moment too long. She minutely looked at the commander and general, both seemed a tad bit worried at her hesitation. But she was not surprised the slightest bit to see the disparaging expression on the flamekeeper's face, standing with the other novitiates also on the wooden podium.

After another deep breath, Ontari took the whip up above her head, letting it hit hard across the queen's back. For the flash of a second Ontari felt a surge of disbelieve and guilt at what she was actually doing and the voice of the queen barked loudly through her mind.

She knew that Nia had not made a single sound at the impact though and her voice was only resonation through her mind and not real at all. She had not hit hard enough to break the woman's skin but Ontari could see the welt rise red against her fair skin.

Ontari suddenly remembered the marks on Marie's skin during their time in the queen's fortress, when she raised the whip again, bringing it down with even more force now. She felt a dark kind of satisfaction course through her mind at the audible gasp being torn from the queen's mouth. Nia had seemed to love to test her physical and mental limits during their "lessons" and finally push her beyond that, she knew now that she had never even stood a chance at truly appeasing the queen.

By the end of the thirteen lashes she was allowed to bring down on the queen, she had in fact already broken her skin and Ontari's hands shook when she handed over the whip to Anya, who would represent Trikru now. Her hands did not shake anymore from tension, but rather from a dark euphoria flowing through her veins and Ontari knew now without a sliver of any doubt that she would singlehandedly kill the queen now, if she got the chance.

She held Anya's gaze for a moment in passing, giving her the subtlest hint of a smile when she felt the general's hand squeezing hers for a second. She had never assumed to find a different place in life, but she knew that she now had a future to look forward to once again.

Anya did not hesitate for a second to begin her part of the whipping and she seemed to bring down the whip with as much force as she could physically muster, breaking the queen's skin with each and every strike. Her blows had such force that splatters of blood ended up on her own face, but the general either did not care or did not notice at all.

Lexa watched Anya dealing out her lashes, torn between worrying that the older woman would give into the dark side of her mind, clearly wishing to kill the queen right now on her own and feeling her own thirst for revenge simmer hotly in her veins and the small sounds of distress which slowly were pulled from Nia's lips only seemed to increase her dark longing to see and hear her suffer. A small part of her mind also wondered almost absentmindedly how Marie was doing currently, if she was still sleeping or if she had woken by now and how she would react to being alone in Gustus' company.

The whipping continued for a rather long time and by the end of it, the queen's back was not in better condition any longer than the rags left of her top. Nia had begun to at least whimper with each new strike. Due to the coagulant in Nyko's concoction Nia had not lost much blood yet and her eyes were widened slightly.

Lexa was the last one to receive the whip and the single plaits of it were already coated in a bit of blood, mixed with what appeared to be whole chunks of skin which had been torn from Nia's back. Her fingers closed around the handle and Lexa just let her part of her anger take over her mind as she brought the whip down on Nia's already tattered back. She knew just how many scars disfigured Marie's tattoo now and although she did not know for sure if Nia had whipped the child singlehandedly, it had at least happened upon her orders.

Her breathing was elated from the exertion, when Lexa let the whip fall to the wooden podium unceremoniously. She did not know if she was imagining the shimmer of white beneath the torn flesh of Nia's back or if the whip had truly burrowed itself deep enough to expose a part of the woman's spine, neither did she truly care. It annoyed her the slightest bit, that Nia had not yet begun to truly scream, but she was sure that it would not take long now for her to begin to do so.

She nodded to the guards again and the queen was cut from her bindings for now, only to be pushed around with harsh hands. It was obvious that her legs would have given out on her if the guards had not kept her standing forcefully.

Lexa's green eyes gleamed darkly, as she accepted a curved dagger from another guard. The young man would remain standing next to the queen and the blade would be dipped into a container with a special powder in his hands each time before a new wound would be inflicted. The powder once again contained a strong coagulant, but also a poison acting on the nervous system. Each cut would burn horribly, as if done by boiling acid.

Internally Lexa felt a morbid satisfaction at noticing the queen's eyes widen just the slightest bit, fear flashing through them for a second, before she could mask it again. The poison actually stemmed from the lands of Ice Nation, so Nia knew its properties very well and that she would by dying in slow agony. It was rarely used in Polis in execution nowadays, Lexa had slowly lessened the amount of suffering for the one being executed, but she felt that Nia more than deserved just the slightest bit of extra suffering.

Her eyes burned into Nia's as she stepped closer to the Ice queen. The woman had been bound to the posts in a way which forced her arms over her head and allowed her next to no movement. She lightly placed the tip of the dagger on of Nia's exposed wrists just below the bindings immobilizing her. She let the blade run along the woman's arm to her chest and her lips curved into the shadow of a sardonic smirk when Nia pulled at the bindings as much as she could. When she reached the woman's upper body, only covered by what remained of her chest binding, Lexa finally pressed the dagger into Nia's flash, outlining exactly the patch of skin which Marie had removed from her own body in her desperate attempt to get rid of Nia's kill marks.

Lexa was not sure if she had imagined the flash of recognition passing through Nia's eyes or not but it had appeared to her as if the queen had recognized how deliberate her placement of her cuts was. Because of her station as the commander no one dared to say a word while Lexa removed the same patch of skin from Nia's body slowly. She knew that the burn of the poison would take a moment to set in and Lexa remained rooted to the spot, green eyes burning into Nia's, until the older woman gasped out a pained breath and her eyes definitely had widened now. Lexa felt a dark satisfaction consume her mind when the queen bit down on her lips forcefully, obviously determined to refrain herself from screaming out loud just a moment longer.

She handed over the dagger to Ontari, who would be the first nightblood to place her cuts and there was definitely no hesitation left in the girl's dark eyes now.

Ontari met the queen's gaze for a moment and she only raised her chin defiantly when the queen breathed out a pained "how could you after all that I have done for you…". The woman's words had been strained, but Ontari could not muster even a single ounce of sympathy for her. The queen never had shown any sympathy for herself, neither had she shown Marie any. She more than deserved her fate. She only recognized now just where the commander had placed her own cuts before her and her dark eyes flashed with anger once again.

She placed her own cut on Nia's hip, cutting through her trousers to be sure that she pierced the skin. She knew that this area hurt pretty much, as there was not much fat under the skin there.

Aden had already stepped up behind her, when Ontari turned away from the queen, feeling the slightest bit of disappointment that the woman still had not screamed out loud. She still remembered how she had always been prompted to make their prisoners scream as soon as possible; someone who was not screaming yet, was not broken yet, neither too close to breaking.

She handed over the dagger with a grim expression and she was fairly certain that Aden was thinking of Marie as well. The blonde boy might even be thinking slightly of the commander's first love, she had heard that Aden had gotten to know her slightly.

Ontari returned to Anya's side, answering the general's acknowledging nod with one of her own, before her eyes returned to Nia again. She could not remember any longer just how often the queen had ordered of her to punish a prisoner, often times the queen had not even remained behind to watch and if she had, she had stood in a corner, motionless and not lifting a single finger. Nia's work had only ever begun after the prisoners will had already been broken.

Her thoughts were pulled back into the presence, when the first scream pierced the air. Nia was breathing heavily and she was trying to tear at the binding again.

Ontari could see easily that all of her efforts only resulted in the wounds on her back opening further. Judging from the pure number of people waiting to take their turn, she knew that it would be a long execution.

It confused her slightly that Nyko was still standing on the podium, tinkering with some other vials. She knew what powder the dagger was dipped in each time after it had been used, she had seen its effects already a long time ago. She could not think of anything else which could be added to increase the woman's pain though.

Anya was the first one to not actually only place a more or less shallow cut, but stabbed the dagger right through one of Nia's palms. She had briefly contemplated stabbing her between the legs, but even the coagulant would not have been strong enough to keep her from bleeding out too quickly then.

Monty was visibly a little green in the face as he took his rightful place as the Skykru's ambassador to cut into the queen. Lexa had intoned into him how important it was for the newest clan within the coalition to show publicly that they were willing to adapt to their culture. He was the last of the ambassadors to place his cut and the dagger was handed over to prince Roan by him.

Lexa watched Roan step closer to his mother carefully. His features were controlled and betrayed nothing, but his eyes belied his outward calmness, they were stormy with emotions, too many to pick out one specifically.

"You are no son of mine…" Nia grunted out with obvious difficulties.

If she had aimed to make her son falter, she had failed horribly at it. Roan's eyes flashed angrily at his mother's words and all the hints of hesitation left his eyes immediately and he directly cut through the markings on her face, the same ones he wore on his own skin.

The placement of the cuts seemed to continue forever and Ontari realized later that whatever Nyko had mixed together was supposed to keep the queen conscious for longer. The coagulant administered before, was obviously doing a great job. Although the queen's skin was tattered visibly and she highly doubted that there was even a single patch untouched now, she was only covered in a light sheen of blood, instead of having bled out already. The queen had given up all pretence of strength and pride and had screamed at the top of her lungs for some time, now her voice was only a coarse whisper grunted out with each new cut.

The sun was indicating clearly that they had reached midday by now and Ontari was astounded to see that Nia truly had last through the placement of all cuts.

Lexa had nodded to the guards once again and the queen was cut free again. The woman tumbled to her knees immediately, but nothing more than another grunt passed through her lips. The fight had long left her burning eyes and they now only seemed tired and defeated as she was pulled upwards again and being held upwards.

Lexa unsheathed her sword slowly, nearing the queen with her heart beating quickly within her chest. She had waited so incredibly long to see the woman like this. She nodded to the guards once again and by the time Nia's body was tilting forward again, she had already brought down the sword, cleanly beheading her with one strike. She watched the woman's head roll over the wooden podium for a moment, before she teared her gaze away again.

It was done. Justice had finally been served.

Chapter 244

Gustus watched the girl carefully, she was still sitting under the furs and her expression clearly showed her displeasure at the whole situation. He did really hope that the girl was not on the verge of another breakdown, he was certain that he would not be able to calm her down if that was the case.

"Are you hungry?" he asked in a kind tone, standing from the table and walking to the bed with a friendly expression.

Marie shrugged, a little pout on her features. She wanted to be with Lexa and Anya now, nothing else.

Gustus bit back a sigh, he had feared already that the girl would not really be pleased to be in his company. The commander had told him beforehand that Marie seemed to have more problems from her headwound than expected, so that the girl was supposed to rest.

"Do you want to try to sleep some more?" Gustus proposed, coming to stand beside the bed, giving the girl a hopefully encouraging look.

Marie shrugged again, before she actually thought about the question and shook her head. She was fairly certain that her imagination would try to spin images of the queen being executed this very moment. Her breathing shuddered for a moment and she blinked as her eyes widened. She did not know if her imagination was playing a trick with her mind or not, but she thought to have heard a shrill scream from somewhere and the hairs on her arms immediately raised.

"Di…did…did you hear that?" Marie asked in a quivering tone, grey eyes wide and frightened as she looked up at Gustus.

The burly guard gazed down at the girl calmly and shook his head in the negative as a slight frown settled onto his features. "You are safe here" he reassured the girl in a soothing tone "Come to the table and eat something" he repeated his suggestion, hoping that the girl's attention would remain within the commander's quarters that way.

Marie's features pulled into a slight grimace, but when the man reached out a hand to her, she grasped it and let herself be helped from the bed, feeling the warmth of his calloused palm encase her smaller fingers. She absentmindedly assessed just how small her own hand was in comparison to Gustus'.

"When are they gonna return?" she asked, sitting down on a chair at the table, looking at Gustus expectantly.

Gustus sighed under his breath "They will return after the execution, Marie, you know that it takes as long as it takes".

Marie frowned for a moment before a smile tugged at her lips, being reminded of Lexa using the words in another context. Her smile fell again when she realized that it might very well take several more hours. Without any real appetite and a rather bleak mood, Marie picked at her food, more playing around with it than actually eating anything.

Gustus watched the girl intently "Are you feeling sick?" he asked, wondering why the girl seemed to only play with her food.

Marie shook her head mutely, but only continued to shove her food from one side of the plate over to the other. She stopped with it when she noticed Gustus staring at her with a disparaging expression on his face. She sighed under her breath; her thoughts kept on returning to the queen. "Have you been to the ocean?" she asked with honest curiosity in her grey eyes, hoping that the man would just tell her some kind of story to divert her attention.

Gustus recognize the girl's question for it really was and he smiled slightly as he remembered his visit to the ocean, years ago he had travelled to the lands of the Boat People, taking his own daughter with him. "Yes, I have been" he answered "together with Sierra. She loved the ocean" he added, dark eyes shimmering with the warmth of the memory.

Marie's expression had turned even more interested now "Can you tell me about it, please?" she asked with innocent eyes, tone hopeful and waiting for the man to answer.

Gustus gave the girl a soft look, nodding readily "Sierra had just seen six summers and…".

Lexa felt a strange kind of calmness settle within her mind when she stepped from the wooden podium and back towards the basement of the tower.

Clarke waited for her in front of the elevator; a serious expression was on her face and she proclaimed calmly "I have spoken to my mother again. You wanted to know about treatment options…".

Lexa inclined her head, silencing the blonde woman quickly. She did not wish for word to spread about Marie's condition "We shall speak in private" she motioned the blonde healer ahead into the elevator and followed her inside.

Anya felt the anticipation about what Clarke was planning to tell them thrum hotly in her veins. Thus far she had clung to the desperate hope that there would be a treatment for Marie, saving the child's life once again. She knew that this conversation would likely determine their daughter's fate from now on.

Ontari followed them into the elevator uncertainly, she did not know if she should go to the commander's quarters now or where else to go. Marie would surely be awaiting the commander and the general and not herself and she had experienced already how difficult it was to appease the younger girl in this situation and was not truly looking forward to a repetition of it.

Anya noticed the uncertainty in her older charge's composure. With the way of how closely together they were now living with each other, the girl could very well already hear what was going on.

"Should I return to the commander's quarters?" Ontari finally asked into the silence a moment later.

Anya shook her head "You can hear this as well" she decided in a firm tone.

Lexa's brows furrowed at the general's words, but she did not disagree with her decision either. She notified the guards moving the elevator to let them leave on the floor of the throne room, she had no intention of letting Marie hear this conversation. Her heart weighed heavily, as she preceded them ahead towards the throne room.

It seemed almost absurd, Anya and she dressed in full battle gear, the queen's blood splattered over it in places and now they would speak about the fate of their daughter.

Clarke had not watched the execution, too many warriors still needed the attention of a healer and the healers had their hands full and could need every help available. She had been slightly taken off guard by the physical appearance of Lexa and Anya and the grimness still clinging to their features.

Almost out of routine, Lexa marched through the throne room and sat down on her throne, looking at Clarke in expectation.

Clarke cleared her throat audibly before she began "My mother agrees that Marie's symptoms match to what the leukaemia form of Marie's mother. She had acute lymphocytic leukaemia…" she hesitated for a moment, when all she got as a reaction were blank stares and even open confusion from Ontari.

Clarke thought for a moment about how best to describe this form of disease to someone without any clear biological education "A leukaemia generally describes an abnormality in the development of the cells which makes up our blood. Generally speaking, our blood consists of red and white blood cells. The red blood cells are needed for the metabolism of oxygen and white blood cells make up our immune system" she tried to explain.

Lexa nodded along, although she did not understand each word. She motioned Clarke to continue, she doubted that they would be needed to understand the specifics of Marie's disease. It would be enough to be informed about the treatment options, she could only trust Skykru's superior knowledge here.

"Acute lymphocytic leukaemia is a very aggressive form of leukaemia, which means that it progressed extremely rapid. Easily formulated, Marie's immune system is ceasing to function. Her white blood cells will not develop normally any longer, so the abnormal cells spread through her body, impairing normal function and causing her symptoms" Clarke continued in a heavy tone. She wished that she could tell them better news, but she knew that she could not lie to them either.

Anya felt her head already spinning slightly at the overload with this strange kind of information. She was not sure what the blonde healer actually meant by "immune system", so she still did not understand what the actual problem was with Marie's body. She interrupted the healer after another moment, asking what this now meant.

Clarke frowned, not deciding what the general actually wanted to know at all, she had been sure to have explained this clearly enough.

Anya felt impatience tug at her mind "I do not know what an immune system is supposed to be" she retorted in a sharp tone.

Clarke sighed again, nodding her head, trying to keep her expression free from any judgment, it was hard for her to determine just what she needed to explain to make them understand. "Our immune system clears the body constantly of infections" she answered the general's question.

"She has not been sick this often" Anya retorted with a raised brow.

Clarke shook her head "No, I have not meant that it is only active in times of actual sickness. The only times that a human truly has a sickness is when the immune system has not been able to clear it."

Anya frowned, still not truly understanding what Clarke wanted them to understand.

Lexa massaged her temples and she thought that Ontari looked as bewildered and impatient as she felt internally. "There is no need for us to understand this exactly" she interrupted her general and Clarke, before they could end up in a longer argument "I want to know how this disease can be treated" she looked back to Clarke inquiringly.

Clarke sighed visibly and she seemed to deflate a tad bit "I fear there is not much that can be done. We can do a chemotherapy. We could even screen for a fitting stem cell donor, but it's highly unlikely that anyone will be a match".

"I had been able to take her blood, so…" Anya reasoned with a frown, remembering that Marie had donated blood for her months ago and had probably saved her life in the process.

Clarke shook her head again "Blood and stem cells are not the same. You can certainly be tested, but it is more than unlikely that you will match".

Anya's even remotely hopeful expression had fallen at the healer's words, breathing out a huff of frustration.

"Chemotherapy?" Lexa echoed questioningly "What does that do?" She had never heard the term and had absolutely no idea what it could be referring to.

"It is a therapy which would destroy certain cells in the body of the patient on purpose. In Marie's case the treatment should destroy her white blood cells" Clarke explained with the hint of a grimace on her features.

Her mother had explained to her in depth what a chemotherapy meant and it would certainly not be easy to endure. Another even bigger problem was the extremely poor prognose for the girl. Abby had explained to her in clear terms that the chemotherapy had not showed much of an effect on Marie's mother at all. It was likely that such a treatment would either not show any effect or only prolong Marie's life for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, at most, but she could not give them any hope of the treatment being effective enough to cure the child.

"What would that mean for Marie?" Lexa continued to question; green eyes boring into Clarke's intently.

Clarke swallowed once, before she answered cautiously "You mean the side effects?" and she waited for a moment for Lexa to nod in agreement. She sighed again "Chemotherapy is very aggressive. There are many side effects and I have to warn you that they are severe. It would not be easy and there is absolutely no guarantee that Marie would even have any benefits from it".

Anya's eyebrows furrowed in confusion "I thought that this treatment was supposed to heal Marie".

Clarke shook her head again and sadness visibly lingered in her blue eyes as she met the general's heavy gaze "Chemotherapy is by no means a cure. The only thing which might truly work as a cure is a stem cell transplantation. But like I already said it is almost impossible to find a match for her. The chemotherapy could potentially prolong her life".

"Prolong it for how long?" Lexa interrupted in a sharp tone as her mind immediately clung to the hope that this treatment could gift them more time with their daughter.

Clarke's features turned into an indecisive grimace "I fear that this is impossible to predict, Lexa. It solely depends on just how far the disease is already progressed, on Marie's constitution and how well her body responds to the treatment" she said honestly and her expression turned sad again before she added "My mother said that Marie's mother did not have any effects of the treatment unfortunately".

Lexa and Anya bandied a silent gaze as both of them felt their heart drop into their stomachs. Lexa requested of Clarke to tell them more about the side effects the treatment would cause for Marie.

Clarke inclined her head before she began to list off what her mother had explained to her "The chemotherapy would purposefully destroy what little functional immune system Marie has now. So, she would in other words lose all protection against any infections for some time. Basically, catching a common cold could be deadly for her then. Immediate effects of this kind of treatment are mostly vomiting, feeling sick, weak and dizzy in general. Often the patients lose all of their hair during the treatment…"

Lexa's brows furrowed while she listened to Clarke's list of symptoms. She could already imagine how Marie would react to losing all of her hair. The child's reaction had been bad enough to her hair being cut short by Nia, losing all her hair would be nothing Marie wished for.

"…being overly tired and exhausted. Anaemia, which would consequently lead to light-headedness, paleness, further fatigue, strong headaches and her breathing and heartbeat can be impaired" Clarke finished gravely.

Ontari looked horrified by what the woman had just enumerated "That is supposed to be a treatment?" she exclaimed in a slightly high-pitched tone "That sounds more as if you are planning to poison Marie slowly".

Clarke shook her head again "I already said that it is a very aggressive treatment".

Lexa had a contemplative expression on her features, thinking through all which she had heard now carefully.

"So, this treatment would all in all cause Marie even further suffering" Anya said in a critical tone "without the actual guarantee that it will benefit her at all?".

Clarke's expression looked absolutely crestfallen as she nodded her head and her voice was laced with deep compassion as she said "I wish that there was anything better which I could offer to you. I can only tell you the facts. You will have to decide if you want for Marie to receive the treatment in the hopes that it might prolong her life".

"Is there any chance of this treatment to cure her completely?" Lexa asked after a moment of heavy silence.

Clarke looked indecisive as she answered "Saying that there is no chance would probably not be correct. But it is extremely unlikely, Lexa. I wish so much that there would be something Skykru could offer to save Marie, but I fear there is truly nothing this time…" her voice trailed off gravely and she blinked a few times.

Lexa nodded again, burrowing her face into her hands for long moments, trying to block out the other presences in the throne room. She wished now more than ever that she somehow possessed the power to exchange places with Marie, she would gladly die if it meant that the child could live. Marie's question from the morning resonated through her mind again.

"Is Marie able to travel now?" she asked, not yet looking up again.

Anya furrowed her brows and before Clarke could say anything, she spoke up hotly "I do not want Marie to suffer even a day unnecessarily…".

Lexa looked up again and her expression was exhausted and her green eyes seemed to have dimmed several shades "Marie asked again to see the ocean…" she repeated to Anya in a forlorn tone.

Anya frowned in reaction, feeling her irritation melt from her mind again, while she wondered when the girl could have voiced that question.

Clarke nodded with a cautious expression "I do not know exactly how quickly her condition will worsen Lexa" she assessed honestly "It can decrease abruptly if she catches any kind of infection".

"Is there something you can do to make her feel better for some time?" Lexa asked, internally hoping that they would at least be able to fulfil the promise of showing the ocean to their daughter.

Clarke nodded again "There are several things she could be given, which would help to increase her health for some time. But it would only mask the effects of the disease" she cautioned.

"Is there anything else?" Lexa asked in a strained tone, feeling empty and exhausted all of a sudden.

Clarke shook her head in the negative "I can speak to Marie about her options, if you wi…" she began to offer.

Anya interrupted the blonde healer sharply "We will speak with her" she proclaimed in a resolute tone. They could consider having Clarke there in case Marie would have questions which they could not answer, but she felt that she and Lexa should be the ones to speak with Marie about her disease and surely not Clarke. Their daughter was still visibly uneasy around the blonde healer after all.

Clarke nodded, trying not to take any offence from Anya's brisk mannerism "I will be there when you need me" she offered again, tone almost hesitant as she did so.

Lexa nodded and a flash of gratitude passed over her features "I assume that this chemotherapy would have to be done in Arkadia?".

Clarke nodded again. In case of a chemotherapy they would need the definitely superior medical equipment of Arkadia and her mother's expertise as well. When silence settled over the throne room again and the other three seemed to be lost within their own thoughts, Clarke slowly backed out of the room with a sad expression and a heavy heart. She truly wished that there was more that they could offer to save Marie.

Ontari watched Wanheda leave the room with a frown. Her mind seemed to have sort of shut down and all she truly felt was numbness. She had realized of course that the younger girl was sick, but definitely not to this extent. The commander and the general did not appear as shocked as she felt and she guessed that Wanheda had previously already told them about this outcome being a possibility. The two Trikru women both appeared crestfallen, preparing themselves mentally for the fact that they had to accept to already lose their daughter again.

Anya sighed heavily after long moments of silence "We will need to tell Marie soon" she proclaimed in a pained tone.

Lexa nodded absentmindedly, her mind was still trying to search for something frantically, anything really which they could have overlooked and what might still save their daughter somehow. Marie was certainly old enough to be allowed to have a say about trying this treatment or not. The fact that the child had already seen her own mother undergo this treatment would certainly assure them that Marie truly understood just what was at stake.

Roan's crowning was scheduled to take place in a few hours, in the meantime the Ice queen's body was being burnt to ashes. Due to the honourless way in which she had died, her pyre would be burnt outside of the capitol, away from watching eyes.

Lexa hoped that Marie would be up to attending the crowning ceremony, although she wondered why that would even matter any longer now. But she did not wish to have this conversation with Marie now, she wanted a few more hours to contemplate their possibilities and she wanted Marie to have a few more hours of relative peace. She could only try to fathom how the child would react to the news of her health.

How did someone live with the knowledge that they were in the process of dying?

Chapter 245

Lexa felt her heart being weighted down heavily on the way back towards her quarters. They had not spoken a single word since leaving the throne room and Clarke's words still rang loudly through her mind. She may not have understood everything of what the blonde Skykru woman had been trying to tell them, but she had understood enough to realize that they were in fact going to lose their daughter. It seemed to only be a matter of time before the girl's body would give out on her. Lexa did not know how they should come to a decision regarding the option to let the child receive treatment. They would need to travel to Arkadia for it – there was no doubt in her mind that Anya would agree to let Marie go there on her own and neither would she, no matter what could come up between the clans – and she knew that Marie would not wish to return there and specifically to the medical bay, too many bad memories were linked there within their daughter's mind. It had not sounded as if the treatment Clarke proposed had a great likelihood of actually being beneficial for Marie either. It was absolutely clear that the treatment would increase the girl's suffering and Lexa was not sure at all if this suffering was worth the potential of a slightly elongated life span left for Marie. She did not wish for Marie to have to suffer any more, but could she sit back and do nothing and later not question herself if the treatment might not after all have had the potential to save Marie? Or could she decide together with Anya for their daughter that she would get the treatment, no matter if she actually wished so, in the hope of getting just a little bit more time with Marie, only for the girl to die in agony?

Lexa sighed deeply, feeling more overwhelmed with the weight of this decision than with any decision she had had to make before. She had been groomed and raised to make harsh choices. So why did this decision now feel so hard to make? Before the lives of hundreds of people had often been at stake because of a single decision she made and now she felt internally paralyzed with the what-ifs of this single decision which truly only concerned their daughter.

She felt a definite surge of bitterness course through her mind as she thought about the harsh fate which awaited their daughter. The child was still so young and innocent – no matter through how much she had been through by now, she had retained a certain kind of innocence – that Lexa could only cuss all the higher powers which were so unbelievably unfair to the girl. Marie still had so much to see, so many things to learn and so many things to experience. An entire life should still be awaiting her and the concept of only a few weeks or months at best being left for her, made her heart weep painfully.

Which weighed almost heavier on her mind than the decision they would have to make in the next days was the feeling of being utterly powerless. As the commander Lexa had always been told that she needed to portray this image of the invincible and all mighty symbol of power and now she had to realize just how false this was. There was absolutely nothing being commander now could do to help Marie.

Lexa glanced over at Anya and saw her own dark thoughts being reflected within the troubled brown eyes of her former mentor. She had no idea how the general would cope with it, once Marie would have truly left them. She had seen the woman spiral into a dangerous mood of everlasting anger and violence before while they had thought Marie lost to Nia. She had feared for her sanity back then and her own duties had made sure that she herself could only break down behind the closed doors of her private quarters. Lexa could only imagine just how much more deeply they would both be cut now by truly losing their daughter and this time there would not even be the faintest hope left of her still being alive somewhere. She was almost certain that she would not just be losing her daughter but also Anya and she would need to let her go. She would need to learn again to patch her torn heart together enough to function and in the depth of her mind Lexa knew that she would do so. She would feel empty and nothing more than the shell of a person, but she would still be the commander her people needed and it would need to be enough to keep her going.

Lexa felt almost guilty at the shell shocked look Ontari wore and she was fairly certain that she had never seen the nightblood girl wear such an open and expressive look before. They had both known that the girl was deeply connected to their daughter also both of them still did not really understand their unlikely friendship. She wondered now if it might not have been better to keep the nightblood girl in the dark about Marie's exact condition, but she hoped that it would make it easier for Ontari to deal with Marie from now on. It had sounded from Clarke's words as if they should be expecting Marie's physical condition to decline rapidly now after all.

Lexa mused if trying to make the best out of the rest of the time they would be granted with Marie might not be the best course of action. Maybe they should accept that every day now could be the last day and try to have Marie experience as much as possible still. She did not know if taking the girl on a journey was truly the best idea. Would they exhaust her already weakened body quicker this way? She darkly wondered if it even mattered any more.

Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt, when they stepped out of the elevator on the top floor of the tower and Marie's bright laughter faintly resonated from behind the closed doors to her quarters. Lexa felt something click within her mind, she would not force treatment on Marie. The child deserved to enjoy all the time she had left to her fullest after all. If Marie chose to have treatment it would be a different matter but she would not decide for her.

Marie's lips curved into a smile when Gustus proposed to her to play a game together. Thus far she had not seen any real board games being played around here, but apparently, she had been wrong to assume that none existed. She had never heard of the game before, Gustus had called it "Seint" and she soon found it similar to the Ludo game she had played in school with Maura before.

She had no idea if Gustus was truly annoyed when she managed to kick out one of his players from the board or if he was just exaggerating his reaction for her sake, but she found his mimics absolutely hilarious. She wondered why Lexa and Anya had never shown her the game before or she had never seen the nightbloods play it either.

Marie's smile grew, when she recognized that she could close the match with her next draw. She moved the dices between her fingers, internally chanting a "please, please, please, come on!" to spur them on and she let out a loud squeal of triumph when she noticed that the dices showed exactly the number which she needed to win. She moved the last meeple over the board and looked up at Gustus, broad smile on her features. "I won" she exclaimed triumphantly, grey eyes twinkling with joy.

Gustus nodded his head with a grimace on his own face and although he seemed to be annoyed about having lost, his dark eyes gazed kindly at the girl. He was only relieved that he had finally found a method of diverting the girl's attention from the time which seemed to pass slower than usual.

Marie immediately whirled around in her place, when she heard the doors to the commander's quarters being opened and a look of utter relief passed over her features "You are back" she proclaimed, already standing up and moving in their direction.

She hesitated for a moment, when her eyes noticed the splatters of blood on Anya's face and her smile fell visibly "Is that your own?" she questioned in a small voice, grey eyes focused on the already dried blood.

Anya quickly shook her head, trying to muster a kind expression for the girl. But the knowledge that Marie was indeed in the process of dying weighed too heavily on her mind right now. Internally Anya was torn between wanting to steal away for a few hours, needing time to process all which they had been told in private, and having felt the almost burning need to see that Marie was still there. Hearing the girl laugh and seeing her turn around with a joyful expression had soothed some part of the hurt still coursing through Anya's mind at least for the moment. She excused herself to the bathroom, striding through the room quickly.

Marie watched Anya pass her with a frown, the woman had not even made the attempt to reach out and touch her in any form. Ontari and Lexa also wore rather austere expressions and she tilted her head to the side slightly, wondering if something might have happened during the execution. When an involuntary shudder ran through her own frame, Marie mused that Ontari might also be reminded of her own time with the queen and Lexa had lost her first love to the woman, so she guessed that it was only logical for them to be emotionally affected to see the queen finally dead. Or was she not dead at all? Could someone have rescued her and that was why they all seemed so off?

She stepped slightly closer to Lexa, gazing up at the woman for a moment, trying to assess her mood and if she would be welcome to speak now or if she should better remain silent. "She is dead now, is she not?" Marie asked in a low tone, holding her breath slightly in anticipation of the answer, lightly biting on her lower lip.

Lexa reached out gently, when she noticed that the girl was biting down more strongly on her own lips "Nia is dead, she will never harm you again" she reassured the child in a soft tone, letting her hand linger for a moment with a loving caress.

Marie leaned into the contact immediately and the shadow of fear left her features again as she breathed out a relieved sigh. When Lexa retracted her hand, Marie only stepped closer still, closing the distance between them and hugging the woman, pressing her face against her midriff.

Lexa let her arms curl around the child's shoulder, intensifying their contact even more. They remained that way for long moments and Lexa internally tried to ingrain the feeling of her daughter into her mind forever, taking in each detail with clarity.

For a moment, Lexa imagine how Marie might look like as she matured, growing first into a gangly teen and later into a strong woman. She could vividly picture Marie like that and she wondered if the girl would have found love in her future or even settled down and start a family of her own. The knowledge that it never would come to this, was truly heart-breaking. She had never before tried to picture a future so far ahead for the obvious reason that a commander's life was usually short and she had been taught from being able to walk that it was her duty to spent the short time of her life for her people's sake and be content with it.

She forcefully quietened her thoughts after another moment, it helped no one right now to think in such ways. Lexa squeezed the girl's shoulders once, before she gently eased out of their embrace "Are you feeling well?" she asked worriedly, eyes scanning over Marie's face carefully. She did not know if her mind was making her see things, but it seemed to her as if the child was developing constant shadows under her eyes right now.

Marie frowned slightly at the question, but nodded her head in mute agreement. She was confused as to why Lexa and Ontari still both seemed to behave differently. If she did not know any better, she would have assumed that she might have done something. Ontari had not said a single word since returning to the commander's quarters and Marie could still feel the other girl's dark eyes resting on her constantly. Were they expecting her to break down now? She did not feel anything in particular right now when she thought of the queen. She had thought to be relieved once she was dead but she guessed that her mind had not caught up with the fact that she had nothing to fear from her any longer yet.

The time which they spent in the commander's quarters together now still felt sort of weird. Something was wrong, Marie sensed that clearly, but when she had asked Anya about the reason for their austere mood, the general had just looked at her with deep sadness for the flash of a second before her expression had blanked over and she had assured her that everything was alright for now. Marie did not believe her for a second and she was confused as to why the woman was so clearly lying to her. Both Anya and Lexa demanded her to speak only the truth to them after all and it was crystal clear that they were keeping something from her.

Lexa had went into the bathroom to take a bath shortly after Anya had returned and Ontari had asked for some unknown reason to visit the rest of the conclave. Marie had watched the older girl leave with a frown and she was even more confused by the clear annoyance flashing over Anya's face at Ontari's request. The day before it had seemed that the general was pleased with the fact the Ice Nation nightblood now actively tried to form a bond with the other novitiates.

Anya seemed almost reluctant to let her get close now and Marie watched the woman with a deep frown. The general had sat down on one of the couches and held up the appearance of being busy with looking through various reports and maps. But Marie noticed quickly that the woman's brown eyes kept on returning to her every few seconds. Almost hesitantly, Marie sat down next to Anya on the couch and she was deeply hurt when the woman stiffened and told her to sit somewhere else in a gruff tone, telling her that she needed to focus now.

Marie was now truly convinced that she must have done something to affront the woman. But she had absolutely no idea what it could be. Was Anya annoyed with the fact that she could train right now? Only being awake for some time now and just sitting around playing with Gustus and now watching Anya had already tired her out. Had there been another confrontation between the clans? Were they going to another war? Could someone have called out on Lexa for letting her stay in their quarters? Had her own weakness reflected on them?

Marie let her shoulders drop dejectedly as she inched away from the general slightly. All she had wanted was for the woman to let her stay close, like Lexa always allowed her and she did not understand why the woman was rejecting her now. Could she have decided that she could not handle taking care of two seconds at once? Maybe the general had decided that Ontari would be the better second. It was a reasonable assumption after all, Marie was sure that she would never match the older girl in strength and Anya had mentored Lexa before who had rose to take up command, she could never do that as she did not have the black blood. But Anya had promised that she was stuck with her as well and that they were family now. The general had said that she would adopt her at one point. With a sinking heart Marie thought that maybe that was the whole problem. Maybe Anya had second thoughts about that and just did not know on how to tell her. She had broken down a lot during the last weeks, it was probably no wonder that the woman was look at her as if she expected her to shatter any second.

Marie felt bitter tears burn in her eyes as her thoughts turned so dark. Maybe Anya had already told Ontari about it and that was why the nightblood girl had behaved so weirdly as well. It was possible that Ontari just did not want to be present when the general told her about her decision. Marie tried to internally steel herself for the rejection that she feared, maybe it would be easier if she told Anya that she could understand her change of mind. Who would want a child like her after all? She had been a fool to even believe otherwise for a second. She had lost her own family on the Ark and there no one else had wanted her as well.

Fear settled within her mind. What would happen to her when Lexa decided that she could not remain the commander's second as well? She faintly remembered that Lexa had once told her that their bond of a first and second could only be severed by death itself. She sucked in a harsh breath remembering now that Titus had demanded at the beginning that she either be sent from the capitol, as far away as possible in fact, or to just have her executed. Marie guesses that too many people now knew about her being the commander's second for her to simply be sent away. Where could she even go? Would Abby still take her back into Arkadia? She had dejected the woman's intention months ago, so she doubted that this was still an option. She literally had no one left if Lexa and Anya were to sent her away.

When she felt the tears threatening to fall, Marie stood from the couch. Although Anya had watched her, she had not reached out once. She remained in the middle of the room indecisively, before she went over to the bathroom. She hesitated in front of the closed door for a moment and actually raised one of her hands to lightly knock on it – something she usually never did – but she did not know for sure right now if she would be welcomed inside or not.

She felt an inexplicable amount of relief at hearing Lexa call her inside immediately, maybe the commander was still convinced that she could be strong enough to be their second. Marie internally decided that she would try to be stronger now, push through her tiredness and proof that she had a place here still.

Chapter 246

Marie pushed the door to the bathroom open slowly, hesitating for the briefest moment before she truly entered. Internally fearing that Lexa might not truly wish for her company as well.

She found Lexa still submerged in the warm water of her bath, scented moist air hung heavily in the room.

Marie stepped closer to the bathtub, looking at the commander with intent grey eyes, trying to figure out the woman's current mood before she would even say anything.

A slight frown settled on her features when it seemed to her as if Lexa's green eyes seemed to show the signs of recent crying; they seemed slightly red-rimmed and a little bit puffy too if she was not mistaken.

"Do you need something, Marie?" Lexa asked in a calm and low tone, looking the child over quickly with worried eyes. She had been fairly certain that Marie would remain with Anya for the time being and was surprised by her sudden appearance. A small brutal part of her mind reminded her bluntly of the fact that these occurrences would not be repeating themselves for long now and she tried to swallow down the lump clogging her throat and making breathing all that more difficult.

Marie shook her head in the negative, she had not wanted anything from the woman than just being in her company, hoping to be more welcomed at her side. Anya's apparent rejection still stung sharply and Marie was still trying to figure out a reason as to what she could have done wrong, beside obviously getting weaker physically all of a sudden.

"Are you feeling well?" Lexa questioned worriedly; green eyes fixed on the child's face.

Marie shook her head in the negative again, although she could not deny that she could already feel another bout of fatigue building in her system. She sighed under her breath "When is the crowning?" she asked, keeping her distance from the bathtub. Before, Lexa had already offered her by now to join her in the bath but the commander was either close to finishing her bath or did not want her to join at all.

"In a few hours" Lexa answered easily while her eyes scanned the girl's appearance again. The offer to let her rest through it instead of insisting on Marie's attendance burned on her tongue. But she kept silent, feeling the weight of responsibility settle on her shoulders again.

They would need to tell Marie in clear word that the child was in fact dying and that there was nothing which truly could be done. How did someone have such a talk? Lexa regretted now on not having spoken with Marie about her experience of seeing her mother waste away with the same disease more in depth before. She did not know just much Marie had noticed back then and she thought it utterly possible that the girl would be shell shocked and afraid at the news. She herself did not particularly fear her own death, it was inevitable after all. The concept of having to watch her daughter die slowly felt so much more depressing than thinking about her own end ever had before.

When Lexa felt tears burn in her green eyes again, she closed them tightly, refusing to let them fall in front of Marie. Lexa felt the need to just tell Marie what was wrong with her battle with not knowing on how best to tell her, afraid of saying the wrong things. "You should get more rest now" she proposed in a tight tone, trying to keep a hold on her composure.

Marie's brows knitted together "I only feel a little tired" she reluctantly agreed.

"Go to bed!" the words came out much harsher than Lexa had intended them to be and she felt even worse at seeing the girl flinch at her raised tone and almost flee out of the bathroom again. She sighed under her breath, burrowing her face in her hands, guilt and uncertainty eating at her innards. How should they ever tell their daughter that she was dying?

Marie jumped a little in place at Lexa's raised tone and quickly turned on her feet, hurrying out of the room. She closed the door carefully and her shoulders sagged in defeat. Neither Anya nor Lexa seemed to want to be in her company any longer and she felt the realization that she must have disappointed them much greater than she could have assumed settled heavily in her mind. It coiled in her stomach like a beast, making her feel sick and she shook slightly.

Marie felt her breath hitch a little when a short glance at the couch told her clearly that either the general had not even turned around at all or had already returned her attention to the maps distributed in front of her on the table, which just confirmed again that Anya did not wish to speak with her right now.

Feeling miserable altogether, Marie slowly trudged over to the bed, burying herself beneath the soft furs and clutching one of Lexa's pillow to her chest, inhaling the woman's scent for long moments and vehemently fighting against the urge to cry. She knew that crying was just another sign of weakness and if the two women already thought of her as being too weak to remain with them, she would probably only give them more confirmation on their opinion.

After long moments of silence – which never had felt this oppressing before between her and Anya – Marie sat up in the bed again and reached out to the small table standing beside the bed. Her journal had still been lying on it and she took it into her hands again. Marie internally wondered if she would feel even the slightest bit better if she wrote down what she feared would happen. She was not sure for what the two women were waiting to inform her of their change of status. Maybe Lexa still wanted her present for the crowning and would tell her afterwards?

Marie felt her heart beating painfully within her chest and her throat felt weirdly constricted all of a sudden.

She only noticed Lexa's return to the main room against a loud rushing sound resonating through her ears long moments later.

Lexa's eyes immediately sought out the bed and she was not really surprised that Marie had heeded her not so gentle advice to lie down again. She stepped closer to the bed and worriedly took in the pale quality of the child's skin – the bruises left behind by Clarke's fingers were all too visible now – Marie's eyes were visibly open, but she seemed to be staring at nothing and her gaze was unfocused. "You do not need to rest, if you do not wish to" Lexa tried to admonish her previous briskness in a gentle tone.

Marie blinked a few times, before she truly recognized Lexa. She had only been lying on the bed for some time now without actually doing anything, as her thoughts had run wild within her mind. The journal was still in her hands, but she did not feel as if she would be able to write down anything now, her mind felt sort of numb even.

When her eyes finally focused onto the commander's face, she was slightly taken aback to find her green eyes once again gentle and kind, worry visibly tinted them slightly darker though. "Are you in any kind of pain?" Lea asked worriedly, when Marie failed to react and it seemed to her as if the girl could have been crying. She was unsure as to how quickly they should be expecting Marie's health to decline and how rapidly it would decline as well and se thought that they could probably not be over cautious now. Keeping a closer eye on the child constantly, would now be more important than ever.

Marie shook her head again in the negative, she was only experiencing a very light headache still, but nothing which she would not be able to handle without the aid of another tea. When she noticed Lexa reaching out and the woman quickly felt her forehead for her temperature, Marie subconsciously leaned into the gentle touch for a brief moment, before she pulled back, sitting up under the furs, bringing her knees to her chest and looking up at the woman with a mixture of accusation and sadness lingering in her grey eyes. She did not know for what Anya and Lexa were really waiting and she had come to the conclusion that it would not hurt any less if she had to wait longer, but that it would probably be better to just hear the blunt truth now.

A confused frown settled on Lexa's features when the child moved actively away from her, something she could not remember Marie had ever done before and she felt her worry rise tenfold, wondering if the girl was truly alright or just pretending to be for their sake. She knew that they had probably both appeared off to Marie at their return to her quarters and the girl's drastic change of mood only confirmed that as well. The child was not dumb after all, but often very perspective even. She internally wondered again how they should be able to tell her that she was suffering from a deadly disease without a real chance of a cure. But she also guessed that it would neither be fair nor possible not to tell her. Lexa highly doubted that she and Anya could act around Marie as if nothing was wrong without the girl catching on to something and she did not wish to imagine to what conclusion Marie would come on her own as to what was wrong.

When Marie seemed to almost cower beneath the furs, Lexa had to realize sadly that their way of behaviour must have already affected their daughter greater than she had assumed. She was still searching for the right words to say internally, when Marie suddenly spoke up.

Marie raised her head from her knees a few moments later, suddenly unnerved by Lexa's continued stare, and her voice raise a little, as she already felt fresh tears burning with her eyes "When are you gonna sent me away?" she exclaimed, lower lip trembling slightly.

Lexa could only blink at the girl in astonishment for a moment and from the corner of her eyes, she absentmindedly noticed Anya standing from the couch as well, making her way over to the bed with quick strides. "Send you away?" Lexa echoed after a moment, utterly confused as to what the girl was eluding to. She was fairly certain that Anya would not have said anything in that direction to Marie and sending the girl away was surely the last thing on both of their minds right now.

A tear fell down Marie's cheek unbidden and she rubbed it away with a slight grimace, trying to put on an unaffected front somehow, although she knew that she was failing miserably in her attempt as well. "I am sorry…" she said, grey eyes shining intently and she swallowed forcefully to keep herself from truly crying now, looking between Anya and Lexa for a moment.

"For what?" Lexa asked, still kind of perplexed as to what must be going on through Marie's mind right now. She felt her already rather deep guilt, only increase at the child's clear misery.

"For being so weak" Marie admitted with a frown, disappointed in herself flashed through her eyes momentarily, before it was replaced with an almost bitter kind of resignation "I understand that I can't be your second any longer" she added the proclamation almost confidently and was internally proud with herself that she managed to hold Lexa's intense gaze for a moment, before she dropped it to her knees, fiddling with a thread of the fur nervously. She was afraid of where she would be sent now and her stomach had coiled into tight knots by now and she was glad that she had barely touched lunch, or she would have probably vomited by now again.

Anya's brown eyes widened in almost horrified disbelief as to what conclusion Marie had come to from their behaviour and she felt her heart clench painfully. She had tried to push the child away momentarily before, needing some moments alone with her thoughts to process the concept of their daughter dying soon and she had not even considered how her colder demeanour might affect Marie.

Lexa reached out and forced the girl to look up again, connecting their gazes once again "I do not know how you have come to that conclusion, little star, but we will not be sending you anywhere, neither are we disappointed by you" she said in a strong tone, green eyes showing her absolute conviction and honesty. Internally Lexa felt her heart bleed for the girl, they had obviously both been fools to even assume for a moment that they could keep their daughter in the dark. She felt the weight of what they needed to tell her settle onto her shoulders again and she sighed deeply, caressing the girl's chin lightly. Before she could actually open her mouth to try and begin the talk which she internally dreaded so much right now, Marie began to cry in earnest.

"You are not?" Marie sobbed out, looking at Lexa with wide grey eyes, swimming in tears. The usage of her nickname had reassured her, that the woman was truly speaking the truth, she would surely not continue to use this term of endearment

Lexa shook her head with a decisive expression. How could they ever be disappointed in the girl for being sick? "We are not disappointed and you will not be sent away" she repeated her previous reassurance in a heavy tone, feeling a lump clog her throat.

Marie let go of her own knees quickly, pulling herself to her knees and launching herself at the commander full force, nearly knocking both of them from the edge of the bed in the process.

Lexa quickly tightened her arms around Marie's smaller frame, pulling the child even closer and she let her hands soothingly card through her blonde hair, feeling her body shake within her arms at the force of the sobs wracking through it. Each of her daughter's sobs felt like a stabbing wound pierced right through her own heart, being all too aware of the fact that their own behaviour had caused this reaction and she just knew that the news of her disease would surely only increase the girl's current suffering.

Anya sat down on the edge of the bed, close to Lexa and immediately placed her own hands on the girl's back "It is alright, little star, everything will be alright" she tried to reassure the girl, feeling herself how lacking her words were now, while she just hoped that the girl would calm down before she had a full-blown panic attack as well.

Her gaze bandied with Lexa's for long moments, while they waited for Marie to calm down again. They both knew that they truly needed to speak in all honesty with Marie now, delaying to do so would not make it any easier later for neither of them, but she also had no idea on how to break the news to their daughter. She felt the pressing need to protect the girl from even the littlest bit of more pain which they could possibly shelter her from.

"Marie?" Lexa asked after long silent moments had passed and the girl's sobs had audibly died down.

"Mmmh?" Marie hummed, keeping her face still pressed against Lexa's neck and only looking up slightly.

"Are you feeling better now?" Lexa questioned next. She was still fervently trying to think off a way on how to start their conversation.

Marie shrugged slightly as an answer; her headache had only increased because of her crying now. She felt almost close to being able to fall back asleep, feeling Lexa's fingers still carding through her hair soothingly.

Lexa pushed the girl slightly into an upright sitting position, letting her gaze travel over the girl's pale complexion. It seemed that she had gotten even paler in the last days, added together with the growing shadows under her eyes, the girl visibly had a sickly complexion.

Marie frowned a little at being pushed away again and she tilted her head to the side. She felt her senses sharpen, when she once again noticed the almost palpable sadness lingering within Lexa's green eyes and when she threw a glance at Anya, she recognized the same expression in her brown orbs, staring at her so intently. Something truly must be wrong, that much was obvious and she guessed that they were finally going to tell her what had been on their minds.

When no one said anything after another few moments, Marie's frown deepened "Is something wrong?" she asked worriedly. She had absolutely no clue what could be wrong otherwise.

Lexa tried to keep her expression calm and composed, although she felt it getting slight cracks. She took a deep breath, letting her hand caress gently over the girl's cheekbone "How much do you remember about your mother's disease, little star?" she asked in a careful tone.

Marie's frown deepened further at the seemingly off-hand question. From the fact that Anya had been looking through maps, she had guessed that there might be another war soon, so she could not understand where this was going now. Little flashes of memories went through her mind quickly, she had not thought about her mother in a rather long time and if she ever thought of her mother, she always tried not to think of the last weeks with her. It had been painful to watch her get weaker with the clear proof that whatever Abby had been trying to do to help her, was not having any real effect at all.

"I don't understand" she finally settled on as a vague and uncertain answer, looking between both of the women fleetingly.

Lexa's gaze turned even sadder and her voice came out as nothing more than a wavering whisper "Clarke suspects that your symptoms stem from the same disease…".

Marie blinked owlishly at Lexa while the commander's last words kept on replaying themselves within her mind, but she was not able to make any sense of them against the suddenly all too loud hammering of her own heart.

"I don't understand…" she repeated in a slightly wooden voice, still trying to process the words.

Lexa bandied another worried gaze with Anya.

"According to Clarke the symptoms which you are experiences for some time now, match to the disease your mother had" she tried to reformulate the essential information, but to her dismay Marie's expression remained blank. Lexa sighed under her breath, taking one of the girl's hands into her own and letting a finger brush over her knuckles repeatedly "You have been increasingly tired, lacking a real appetite, your nosebleeds and now the easy bruising of your skin…" she tried to explain and stopped for a second, trying to remember the special term Clarke had used.

Marie frowned and it was as if a switch had been flicked within her mind and suddenly, she was assaulted by snippets of numerous memories. She remembered a few instances of returning from a lesson or having been with Maura and her mother to find her mother holding a piece of tissue against her nose, bleeding again. Her mother had usually sent her away when it happened and she remembered now that she had not only seen her mother bleed from the nose.

She remembered one scene in horrifying clarity in particular again. Her mother had already known about being sick back then and she had been getting increasingly weaker as the time had passed. Marie had very occasionally accompanied her mother to the medical bay when she received her treatment – no one had probably been available to watch over her and her mother had not wished to leave her alone in their quarters for some reason – her mother had always been given some pills from Abby and an injection as well. It had not taken very long until she had begun to vomit and to her it had seemed as if that had continued for hours. Marie had sat next to her mother's bed and had held her hand through it. Once her mother had drifted off, she had asked or rather begged Abby to give her mother something that actually helped, it had not seemed to make her mother any better but rather the opposite. She had usually been sleeping through most of the next days and once she was being more awake, her mother had needed to return to the medical bay to receive another round of treatment and it had begun anew.

The scene which she now remembered so clearly again, had happened after a few weeks of her mother receiving treatment already and she had returned to their quarters after her lessons, hopeful that she would be awake again. She had frowned when she had not spotted her mother in bed and when she heard weird sounds from the small bath, she had gone into it to investigate and remained frozen in the door for a moment. Her mother had been standing in front of the small mirror and whole strands of her blonde hair seemed to have fallen out, distributed around her. When her mother had heard her inhale sharply, she had turned around to face her and Marie's eyes had widened even further at seeing almost her complete face being smeared in blood. Her mother had opened her mouth to say something, but had turned around again sharply, vomiting even more blood. Marie remembered having run all the way to the medical bay, screaming for a doctor to come and help save her mother.

It had only been a few days later that her mother had been released from the medical bay again with the verdict that there was nothing more they could do, not allowed to administer more doses of the medication and Marie had tried to break into the medical bay to steal them, leading to herself being imprisoned and her mother being floated probably.

"…Clarke called it "acute lymphocytic leukaemia"" Lexa added after a brief pause, pulling Marie out of her thoughts again.

Marie's grey eyes were visibly wide, while her thoughts were still running wild within her mind. She vaguely recognized the term of the disease, so she nodded her head in shocked acknowledgment mutely. She was truly and utterly speechless for now and simply continued to stare numbly at Lexa, turning her hand in hers and holding it in a tight grasp.

"Clarke said that they could offer to give you a treatmen…" Lexa tried to continue her explanation but was interrupted by Marie.

The child's eyes were even wider now and she fervently shook her head, remembering vividly how bad her mother had been doing with the treatment. Her mother had been even more tired, had vomited a lot, lost her hair and even vomited blood and all the treatments had not seemed to help even a little. "You can't allow Abby to put me through that!" Marie exclaimed in a raised tone, tinted strongly with fear "I don't want to lose my hair and vomit blood and constantly sleep and …" she listened off all the reasons which immediately stuck in her mind what her mother had suffered through and what she did not wish to have to go through as well. Fear settled into her mind as she thought of having to go through that as well and she still knew so clearly that it had not helped her mother one bit.

Lexa squeezed the girl's hand lightly, reaching out with the other and closing the girl's mouth gently "Calm down, little star" she tried to sooth the girl in a soft tone "We will not force you to receive this treatment…". Lexa paused for a moment letting her hand rest on the girl's cheek softly "…Clarke has explained to us already that the treatment is harsh. The chances of it working are very slim sadly" she added in a heavy tone, green eyes tinted with regret.

Marie swallowed forcefully and her voice was audibly bitter "It has not helped her at all". It took her long moments to ban the last memories she had off her mother from her mind again and once she could focus again on the presence, a single question burned heavily on her mind. What would happen to her when she did not receive the treatment?

Anya had kept one hand on the girl's back and she watched her face intently, trying to decipher the emotions flitting so quickly through her grey wide eyes. Marie looked even smaller and younger now than ever and she wished with all her might that there would be anything she could possibly do to avert the girl's fate. It was obvious that the girl was afraid of what this now meant for her and her whole body seemed tense, while tears glistened within her grey eyes. She did not know if they would need to spell out the fact that Marie would die in the foreseeable future or if the girl was already aware of that herself.

Lexa gently caressed the girl's cheek once again "What do you think about visiting the ocean?" she proposed in a soft tone. She still thought that they should to try to make the best of the remaining time they would have with Marie. She would need to speak with Clarke again, trying to get a more specific definition of the time from the healer. If it really were only weeks left, she would not hesitate for one second to leave the capitol with Marie for this time span then, no matter what Titus would say.

Marie's breathing was a bit quickened when she faintly heard Lexa's words, penetrating through the whirlwind of her thoughts. She opened her mouth to answer her, but something else came out instead "I am going to die, am I not?" her voice had been completely wooden and she felt a few pieces instantly fall into place at having said that out loud.

The deep sadness which was now again so visible within Lexa's and Anya's eyes was answer enough without the women actually saying something. Marie felt her throat constrict painfully when her mind threw her back to the medical bay of Arkadia and how she had later apologized to Lexa for having almost left them, she would leave them now then.

"I am sorry…" Marie breathed out against her tears, shoulders sagging in internal defeat.

She had not really thought about what would happen now that the war was over. She had assumed that they would just return to Polis and her daily routine would take up again. She had asked Lexa weeks ago about going to the ocean and the commander had answered her then that it would probably have to take until winter had passed. She had taken it for granted that she would be there to see the foal grow up, continue her training with Anya and finish her education with Titus for her role as the commander's second. But nothing of this would come to pass now.

She did not know for sure if her mother had only gotten worse so quickly because of the treatment or if it would have gone even quicker without it.

"There is nothing you need to be sorry for" Lexa assured the girl in a breathy tone, trying to hide some of the grief already consuming her mind.

"But I'll leave you…" Marie breathed out, with tears already running down her cheeks again "I don't wanna leave…" she exclaimed with a sob and her shoulders already shook.

Lexa and Anya moved forward almost in sync, enveloping the girl on both sides and pulling her smaller body in between them, even slightly as if they were shielding her from the rest of the world. It would have been so easy, if it actually worked like that.

Chapter 247

After their conversation, Marie had quickly fallen back asleep. Lexa and Anya had remained on the bed with the girl until they were completely sure that the child was indeed asleep.

"So, you think that her not having this therapy is the right decision?" Anya spoke into the silence in a low tone, keeping a hold on one of the girl's hands. She was not sure that this was the right decision, but she did not know if forcing the girl into the therapy would be any better either. The girl's fingers were no longer completely free of callouses and various thin scars littered them as well, but they were still so very small in comparison to her own long fingers. She could not stop the thought from forming in her mind that they would also not get the chance to grow at all.

Lexa looked down at the girl with sad eyes "I hope so" she answered with doubt tinting her tone strongly. She did not think there was a right or wrong decision in this kind of situation "I do not think that forcing her or convincing her to take the treatment is right though".

Anya inclined her head in mute agreement, giving the girl's hand a gentle squeeze before she let go again and stood up. "You plan to take her to the boat people?" she asked after another moment, walking over to the couch. She was not sure that making a journey with Marie in her current state and expecting it to only decrease quickly, was really a wise decision either.

Lexa lingered at the bed for a moment longer, before she joined Anya on the couch. "You know how much she wishes to see the ocean" she justified in an even tone, before her expression turned sad "I had promised to take her there while she was in a coma in Arkadia" and she desperately wished to make this promise come true.

Anya inclined her head again; she had been told later that the girl had been aware of every word which had been spoken around her during her time in the coma. "What about Ontari?" she mused, brown eyes shortly flitting back to the bed, checking that Marie had not moved and was alright. Marie still regularly used her powers during the night to heal each and every scratch they had during the night and in the morning the girl did not even remember doing so at all. The longer they would travel with Ontari in such a small group, the likelier it would be for her to find out about Marie's talent although it was questionable if it mattered any longer.

Lexa contemplated the question internally for long moments, she was saved form giving an answer by a light knock on their door. "Enter" she called out a little unwilling, looking back over her shoulder to see that she had not woken Marie up.

Clarke hesitantly entered the commander's quarters with a troubled expression, her blue eyes flitted to the huge bed and she immediately spotted Marie's sleeping form on it. "I wanted to check if she is alright" she justified her presence in a worried tone.

"She knows now" Lexa said, expression almost downtrodden "and she does not wish for the treatment you offer" she added after a moment.

Clarke frowned slightly at hearing this, feeling her shoulders sag a little, in all honesty, she had already expected this turn of events. She had hoped that they would try the treatment, but only because she believed that it was the only chance for Marie to recover, even if it was just slim. She nodded her head after a moment of consideration, she did not think it wise to try to convince them differently.

"So, do you plan to stay with her here or really taker her on a journey?" she asked hesitantly, trying not to overstep.

Lexa nodded her head in agreement "It is not settled yet, but I want to leave as soon as possible" Who knew after all how much time they still had left with Marie, so it felt to her that they should not waste a single day.

"I will get in touch with my mother then to have medication sent here which will help Marie" Clarke proclaimed confidently "Will one of your healers travel with you?" she asked after a short pause of silence.

Lexa shortly bandied a glance with Anya. Taking one of her healers would of course be an option, but in her mind, Clarke would be best equipped to observe and take care of Marie. When the girl was really supposed to take medication from the Ark it would probably also be wiser to have Clarke administer the medication then. "We would ask you to accompany us instead" she proclaimed in a calm tone, holding her blue-eyed gaze for long moments "You are versed better in this treatment" she added.

Clarke inclined her head in agreement "I will come with you of course" she agreed easily.

"I will speak with Titus later and organize everything, if it goes over quickly, we can leave tomorrow or the day after" Lexa mused with a concentrated expression on her features. She did not look forward to having to speak with Titus about her intention. The flamekeeper would never agree to her leaving the capitol for a prolonged time now that they had just returned and Lexa knew without a doubt that she had no intention of returning to the capitol before Marie's death, they could continue to either stay with the boat people or travel somewhere else if Marie's constitution remained better for longer than expected.

Clarke excused herself only a moment later, not sure of what to say. She had told them all there was to know for now and they would see the effects of the medicals she could offer to Marie to make it easier for the child when she could administer them.

"I shall speak with Titus now" Lexa sighed, not looking forward to this talk at all. But if she wished to leave as soon as possible, the flamekeeper could start with the organisation right away.

She stood from the couch, but shortly walked over to the bed first, feeling the girl's forehead once, before she bent down and pressed a light kiss to Marie's forehead.

Lexa left her quarters with her thoughts running wild through her head still. She was already second guessing if this decision was the right one or not and she still wondered if taking Ontari with them would be advisable. The nightblood girl seemed to have been hit hard by the news of Marie's impending death as well and their deep friendship would make taking her with them reasonable. On the other hand, there were so few nightbloods left now, that taking the girl from the capitol carried a rather great risk. She did not know how Anya and she would cope with having to watch Marie die and she did not wish to add this burden to the nightblood girl's conscience.

She found the flamekeeper down in the temple of the flamekeepers. The bald man seemed surprised to see her approaching him.

"Commander" Titus inclined his bald head in greeting, confusing flashing over his features momentarily.

"I need you to handle the daily dealings within the capitol for the foreseeable future and have preparations made for a small group to travel with me to the boat people" Lexa proclaimed in a firm tone, not wanting to give the man much room for any discussion.

Titus light frown only grew and definite reluctance settled onto his features. "What can be so important with the boat people to require immediate travels to their place?" he questioned in an almost cautious tone.

Annoyance flashed over Lexa's features at being questioned like that by her former teacher, but she unfortunately had expected that the man would not accept this travel without getting a real reason for its necessity. She sighed under her breath, feeling her composure shatter for the slightest bit, unable to hold on for now. "Marie's health has been declining for some time now" she began to explain in a heavy tone, green eyes showing the depths of her inner turmoil easily.

Titus inclined his head in acknowledgement. He had outright criticised already that the commander's second had not made any kind of progress in her education in weeks now and the girl had barely been able to sit in on to any meetings since her return from Azgeda. He believed without a doubt that the girl had regained her memories, but her mental state had been almost unpredictable from what he had heard from several guards. Although the girl's fate did cause some sympathy, he still was not convinced that the child had what it took to be the commander's second. The commander had silenced each and all doubt he had about the girl though, so he was confused as to what Lexa wanted to say now. "Her mental state has not been…" he began, but was interrupted by the commander immediately.

Lexa shook her head "This is not about her mental state" her voice had turned several shades darker and her eyes hardened "Her physical health is declining rapidly" she proclaimed in a firm tone "Her own mother has died of an incurable disease on the Ark and Marie suffers from it as well".

Titus' dark eyes widened subtly as his mind processed what the commander had just proclaimed and he sucked in a rather harsh breath. He knew just how hard the commander had been hit before while Marie had been presumed dead. He had seen Lexa almost break at the loss of her first love, had seen her almost break again at the presumed loss of the child. What would the real loss of the child do to Lexa? He barely dared to imagine it and knew already that they would be facing hard times then. He still did not truly understand what the disease had to do with a journey to the boat people.

"I will bring her to the ocean…" Lexa breathed out shakily, while her voice wavered.

Titus sighed slightly, the words to reason with the young commander burned on his tongue. The commander's place was in Polis and nowhere else after all. But he knew now without a doubt just how deeply the connection between Lexa and Marie was and through the time he had to agree that the girl was tolerable.

So, he only nodded his head in mute agreement "I will start the preparations immediately".

Lexa raised a brow in surprised question.

Titus' dark eyes uncharacteristically showed his sympathy for once and his tone seemed hesitant "Leaving Ontari within the capitol would be advisable".

Lexa inclined her head; Titus did not need to enumerate the logical reasons to leave the Ice Nation nightblood within the capitol after all.

Marie leaned back against Lexa's firm upper body – she was currently sharing a horse with the commander – and thanks to the medication Clarke had gotten delivered from Arkadia, she was feeling better than she had in some time now. She was even feeling sort of giddy now, as they were on the way to the ocean finally. Lexa had promised her that she would show it to her before she would truly begin to feel worse.

Clarke had come to their quarters later that day, before the crowning had been scheduled to take place, and had spoken with her as well about what a chemotherapy meant and how much of a chance, she could have expected to get better with it. The chances really had not been all that great and Clarke had described the symptoms which she needed to expect from the chemotherapy and those corresponded clearly to what she remembered from her mother's last months of her life.

Marie found the concept of her body slowly ceasing to function pretty hard to accept. It had been obvious that her body was getting weaker, she had subconsciously noticed the gradual decline for weeks, but she had never guessed that it could be so dangerous. The knowledge that there was nothing which could be done, weighed heavily on her, she had no wish to die just yet and by thus leave her place by Lexa's and Anya's side. Clarke had offered to describe to her more in depth what was happening to her body on a molecular level, but she had not been interest to listen to it.

She had been allowed to get some more rest before it had been time for the crowning ceremony of Roan. Lexa had shaken her awake only shortly before they had to leave the commander's quarters. The crowning ceremony had taken place at the base of the tower as well, so that everyone who had wanted to attend had the opportunity to stand beside the podium. Many more people from different clans had come than Marie had previously expected. She had stood next to Anya during the ceremony. Once Ontari had shown up, Marie had looked over at the older girl and at least her torn gaze now made sense; Lexa had told her that Ontari had been present during Clarke's diagnose. During the ceremony she did unfortunately not have the opportunity to speak with Ontari.

Marie's lips curved into a smile when she remembered how Roan had approached her after the ceremony, the crown resting on his head now.

She had still been rigid and weary around the man, although she logically knew that the Ice prince had done nothing personally to cause her any kind of harm. She had still tensed even further when Roan had approached her and Anya must have caught on to that fact, stepping closer to her protectively. She had looked up into his eyes – so similar to his mother's – and tried to keep a straight face, reassured by Anya's presence.

"You are safe now again, Marie" Roan had addressed her in a kind tone, keeping a slight distance to visibly give her some space "You will always be welcome in Azgeda to visit" he offered in an honest smile and at the fleeting smile hinting on her features, he added "You can certainly play in the snow really then and I might even be able to show you some harmless ice bears".

Marie's smile had turned bigger at this addition to the offer and she had felt most of her tenseness drain from her body, she had trusted the man before after all and she gave him a thankful nod as an answer. Only after the man had stepped from the podium, speaking with other clan ambassadors, her smile had fallen, as she had remembered the fact that she would certainly never visit Azgeda again, nor would she ever see snow again for that matter.

Clarke had prognosed only vaguely but the blonde seemed convinced that she would either not see the next winter or at least not survive it.

Marie burrowed herself a little further back against Lexa's body, feeling the commander's arms tighten around herself to keep her steady and safely in place on the saddle.

"Are you alright?" Lexa asked, bending over slightly, to be able to take a glance at the girl's features.

Marie nodded her head, although her smile had frozen noticeably "I remembered Roan's offer to visit him" she sighed out, feeling her mood fall all of a sudden "But it will never be" she added forlornly.

Lexa sighed under her breath, wishing more than anything that she could somehow take this disease from the child. She did not know of what to say which could make it any better.

"How long will it take until we reach the ocean?" Marie asked, after a moment of silence, banishing the dark thoughts from her mind as forceful as she could; they would not help her in any way.

"A few days" Lexa answered easily, keeping the reigns in her hands and leading them ahead.

The group travelling with them only consisted of Gustus, Anya and Clarke. So, they would only have a spare camp for the nights until they reached the boat people.

Marie had tried to argue with Lexa about the fact that Ontari was supposed to remain in the capitol. The older girl had not really wanted to speak with her about what was going to happen. Marie had understood it quickly without a doubt that she would not be returning to the capitol at all and she had been sad to know that she would not have a chance to tell her goodbye to the nightblood girl.

She had tried to speak with Ontari about this fact, but the girl had been weirdly dismissive, telling her instead that they would see each other again. She had even agreed to look after Risha for her during her absence. She could not understand why the older girl seemed to refuse unwaveringly to accept that she was dying. Marie had gotten angry at the older girl and tried to force her to have a serious talk, but Lexa and Anya had intercepted finally when it was clear that their conversation would yield to nothing.

"Have you been at the boat people's place before?" Marie questioned now in honest interest, trying to push all further thought about Ontari from her mind. She was utterly convinced that she would not get the chance to ever speak with the older girl now and following one of Lexa's suggestions, she had written a letter to her instead. Just as she had written a letter to Maura and her mother, she had also written one for Lexa and Anya – although the two women did not know about them yet – they would all be handed to the recipients later.

"Yes, I have" Lexa answered in a calm tone and a slight smile on her features "I was around six summers old when Anya took me there".

"Really?" Marie echoed, grey eyes shining with curiosity.

"Yes" Anya agreed from the side next to them "Lexa unwillingly learned to swim there" she added and her lips curved into a smile.

Marie frowned slightly, she recognized the tone of Anya's voice and she remembered how the general had pushed her into the lake in TonDC during the bath, she had been so afraid then. Hopefully, Lexa would have more patience with her when they reached the ocean and that she physically would be able to swim still then. "Did you throw her into the ocean as well?" Marie asked critically.

Lexa huffed out a laugh at Anya's almost dumbfound expression "Oh yes" she agreed, remembering the scene vividly still. Sometimes Anya's lessons had a questionable method at best, but they always resulted in what they should one way or the other.

"Don't throw me in again Mama, okay?" Marie asked in a slightly whiny tone "You won't let her, Mommy, right?"

A gentle expression played around Lexa's features "Of course not, little star" she reassured "You have nothing to worry over now" and how much she wished that here words could have been even remotely true.

Chapter 248

The journey continued mostly in silence until midday. It was not a really oppressive silence either but rather companionable and Marie let her gaze wander around the forest they now passed through.

"I still remember the first time I saw the forest around the drop ship" Marie suddenly exclaimed in a thoughtful tone, breaking the silence while her grey eyes took in the trees around them. Now that the summer had ended and autumn was near the leaves of the forest were beginning to turn from green back to wonderful yellow, orange and red hues.

Clarke rode slightly behind Lexa and Anya, next to Gustus and her and her own features turned into an almost melancholic smile as she thought back to the time directly after their landing. How naïve and optimistic they all had been back then, convinced to be alone on the surface of earth. None of them had known how harsh this world actually would be.

"The woods were so immensely green" Marie mused with shining grey eyes, looking back around now, although the trees were not even green right now "and I still remember how I saw the first bird break through the leaves" the wonder from back then was still present within her voice now. She remembered how she had rather chosen to be near the forest than the other delinquents, she had not understood why the others were just goofing around instead of doing something productive.

Lexa smiled slightly at the girl's memory, they had all grown up immersed in the forest and she had found it fascinating to see a part of their world through the innocent eyes of Marie, a child not born into this world but rather into a cold and sterile surrounding made out of metal. She tightened her arms slightly around the girl's smaller body "I have always loved the end of summer most, watching the leaves fall down".

Marie smiled slightly which turned into a smirk "What have you thought when you first saw me?" she asked, turning around a little so that she could look at the general riding next to them, true interest glistened within her grey eyes.

Anya frowned slightly, the day back in TonDC seemed like it was almost out of a completely different life now and she had never thought that this child would be able to have such an impact on their lives. "From what Indra and my scouts had said, I had expected a highly skilled assassin and not a frightened child" she admitted honestly, her brows furrowed.

Marie looked over at the general with a slight pout on her features, she could sadly understand why Anya would assume so after she had met the other children at the queen's fortress, all of them would have undoubtedly worked as an assassin for the queen. She had to admit that she had truly been frightened in the holding cell and it had only increased after John had been taken from it – she absentmindedly wondered for a second what had even become of the older girl, for all she knew he could already be dead now – "I was really scared" she admitted with a slight frown "you all looked so scary and angry…" a slight shiver ran through her frame as the memory resurfaced. She knew now that Indra had wanted her to be executed directly, even though she had not even done anything. "I had not been able to read anything from your face back then" she continued, she could now of course that she really knew Anya. "Tris calmed me though" Marie added after another moment.

Anya's expression flickered with the loss of her previous second for a moment, before slight annoyance flashed over it "Tris had been supposed to guard you and not chat with you" she had been angry about it back then as well.

Marie shrugged her shoulders slightly "I liked her immediately" she said "She let me have some food and water as well and Tris told me about her life…" Marie paused for a second in thought "…I truly only realized then just how harsh life is here".

Marie fell silent again, snuggling back a little firmer against Lexa. She knew that the life on the Ark and the life the people on the earth were leading could not really be compared because of so many factors, but on other things she thought it was just the same. And no matter how much simpler and even harsher the life on earth might be, Marie loved it, but also mostly because she had found her place here with Anya and Lexa, finding new moms in the process.

"How did you meet any way?" Clarke finally spoke up, breaking the silence again. She long wondered about that but somehow it had never come up in a conversation yet.

Marie cast a glance over her shoulder and a hint of accusation filtered into her eyes "After you and Bellamy cast out John, I followed him out into the forest" she began to enumerate and she minutely felt Lexa give her thigh a light pat and Marie curbed her tone again "I thought that I would never find John" she remembered "It had been so dark and cold and the sounds of the forest suddenly were so scary…" a slight shiver ran through her frame.

Lexa soothingly rubber a hand over one of Marie's arms mutely. She could only try to fathom how frightful this experience must have been to the child. She knew from a report that the two Skykru members had been caught by a patrol.

Clarke knew that casting Murphy out had not been their best decision after all and it had sadly been true that no one in the camp had actually watched out for Marie; they had not even realized that their youngest was missing at all for a day or two.

"…I already thought that I would never find John when I heard something and when I followed the sounds, I found John trying to run from two masked figures and although I knew that I would never be able to out run them, I tried, but I stumbled and we were brought to TonDC and put into a holding cell, where I met Anya later and Tris" Marie continued and her voice had turned too low to understand anything for Clarke now "…and you" she breathed out twisting around slightly and glancing up at Lexa with a soft expression.

"And me" Lexa resonated in agreement, she unexplainably grateful that she and Anya had both decided to let the girl survive. She frowned slightly when Marie just continued to enumerate slowly what had happened from that point. It sounded awfully as if the child was mussing over all that she had gone through as if she was saying goodbye already. She had wanted Marie to enjoy this journey and not already be stuck in the past.

"Do you remember the first storm?" Marie asked, turning over to Anya again slightly. They had stopped their ride for now to make a short break. Gustus had left together with Clarke to let the horses drink some water from a nearby stream. She was helping Anya gather wood for a fire while Lexa had remained behind at what was going to be their makeshift camp for now.

"First storm?" Anya retorted; a brow raised in question as to what the girl was referring to now.

Marie stepped closer to Anya "I had never heard a real thunderstorm before" she remembered "and I had not been able to sleep and the thunder was so scary, I was sure that the tent would cave in".

Realization dawned on Anya's features, it had been one of their first nights sharing a tent together and she had been rather annoyed to be awoken by the girl's shrill scream, although she knew that the girl had tried to muffle it. She had offered the only comfort to the girl which she had known to have helped Lexa and Tris previously. "I remember now" she agreed in a thoughtful tone "I had let you sleep beside me this night". She had been surprised by how strongly the girl had latched onto her immediately and after the first time it had begun to repeat itself that Marie found her way to her side at night. She did know for sure if that night might have already been the turning point in their relationship, but it had certainly been the first step to bring them closer to each other.

Marie nodded with a slightly sheepish expression, crossing the last distance between them – task of searching for fire wood forgotten – as she hugged the woman "Love you" she mumbled sincerely, pressing her face against the woman's midriff.

Anya remained frozen for a little second, before she unceremoniously let the wood in her arms drop down to her sides and let her arms come around Marie's frame instead. "Love you too, my little star" she breathed out, bending down and pressing a kiss against the crown of Marie's head. She could never have known just how deeply she would care for her newly appointed second back then and now, looking back at the time they had spent together, Anya could not help but wonder if she might not have spent it differently with her, if she had known already that they would have only such a short time together.

They remained like this for long silent moments, until a twig audibly snapped next to them and Anya quickly loosened her hold of Marie, reaching for one of her daggers in case that a predator might have found them. She let her hands fall back to her side again, when she noticed that Lexa had caused the sound, probably deliberately as well.

Marie backed away from Anya with a slightly sheepish expression and quickly bent down to pick up the logs which Anya had let fell down before.

"How do you feel?" Lexa asked Marie with a soft expression and took a step towards Marie "Let me" she ordered and held out her arms to take over the logs for the girl. Clarke had warned them that Marie would only feel better, but the medication was not doing anything to improve her actual health situation at all.

Marie shrugged her shoulders "Fine, I guess" she answered vaguely. The medication had made her feel almost giddy and nervous for some time, but she had been able to feel the effects weakening gradually as well and it left a strange ache behind. "When can I get the next dose?" she asked instead with a slightly hopeful glint within her grey eyes.

Lexa frowned slightly, she thought to remember that the dose should have lasted Marie through the complete day and it was only shortly after midday now. Worry settled in her mind that they were overexerting the girl with their journey. She had not given any specific time to Titus to expect her return to the capitol and for once the flamekeeper had neither tried to argue with her nor had he outright disagreed either. So, they could easily cut down on the distance they travelled each day and by thus allow Marie more time to rest in between. Although Clarke had reassured her that Marie would surely hold on to see the ocean, the irrational fear had settled into her mind, that they would not be fast enough to reach their destination. "We shall speak with Clarke about it" she answered after a beat of silence. She did not wish the girl to receive too much of this medication either, which surely could not be good.

Lexa saw her own worry slightly mirrored within Anya's brown eyes and almost as if on instinct the older woman reached out and felt Marie's forehead quickly.

"No fever" Anya assessed with definite relief within her tone. They understood enough of this weird disease now to know that the girl's body could catch any further illness now that it was so weakened and it would not be able to fight back any longer.

Marie frowned slightly; she did not really understand why the two women seemed so overly worried about her. She felt well enough still and she highly doubted that she would just suddenly drop dead like that either. But she could not exactly say that she was against their dotting completely, because it often prompted both of them to simply reach out to her physically.

They returned to their makeshift camp together and Lexa quickly asked Clarke about another dose of the medication.

Clarke sighed slightly "I have started her on the lowest dose possible, so yes, she could have another, but I would like to stretch that out as long as possible. Her body will react less and less to it the more and higher doses it gets" her tone was tinted with definite sadness at the end. She knew that letting Marie build up a dependency of the medication already now was not wise, while the girl was still coping relatively well with the leukaemia, because she knew that harder times were awaiting her.

Marie still seemed rather awake, so Lexa agreed that the girl could wait a bit longer to get the next dose but she also decided that they would stay at their current position for the rest of the day, giving Marie time to laze around and rest a bit. She wanted the girl to enjoy this journey after all and not tire her out to depletion before they even reached the ocean. Maybe the journey in itself was the actual goal, spending the rest of Marie's time solely with her and away from Polis, it did not matter all that much just where they were. Lexa would love for Marie to see the ocean and maybe even let the girl have the opportunity to feel the waves washing over her feet. They would have to see then if letting her swim in the ocean was even an option anymore or not. The ocean could quickly turn into a dangerous element for an unpractised swimmer.

When Lexa denied Marie to actually help in raising the tent in which they would sleep together, while Clarke erected her own under Anya's critical watch spiked with barely polite criticism, Marie sulked slightly, feeling useless at the moment and moved over to the horses. She wanted to contribute too and she did not understand why Lexa was denying her now, Anya had let her help in searching for fire wood after all, so why was this different now?

Her glum mood lifted slightly, when her gaze fell onto the horses and the memory of seeing one on earth for the very first time came back to the forefront of her mind. Before that she had only seen a few birds and the dead panther and although she had seen horses in a film before, the film had definitely not done justice to the magnificent beasts and she had immediately been enamoured.

The commander's black horse already neighed in greeting when she stepped closer and Marie remembered that it had also been the very first one which she had ever touched and it had also gotten her to talk to the commander.

"Hi, beautiful one" she greeted the black horse with a smile, stretching out her fingers and lightly touching its nose, feeling its velvety skin "Do you still remember how we met?" Marie tilted her head slightly to the side, looking deeply into the horse's dark eyes. She giggled shrilly when the horse blew out a puff of air directly into her face.

Lexa suddenly appeared at Marie's side, having stood slightly behind the girl and having watched the girl interact with her war horse for a few moments unobserved.

"Food is almost ready" she proclaimed in a calm tone, caressing the horse's neck with one hand, while the other came up to rest casually in between Marie's shoulder blades.

Gustus had been lucky and encountered two rabbits directly in their vicinity who would now serve as their dinner together with some of the other reserves they had all distributed in the saddle bags.

Marie nodded her head in mute acknowledgement, petting the horse one last time, before she turned around to fully face Lexa and return to the middle of their camp. "I thought we would travel farther today" she remarked with a slight frown.

Lexa shook her head "Not today, no, there is no need to rush now" she reasoned with a hint of sadness underlining her tone; it refused to be banished from her mind completely.

Marie did not really appear to be convinced by this logic for now, but she did not outright disagree either. She could not deny that simply being able to spend time together with Anya and Lexa while they were not in fact still travelling did sound appealing. Her attention was diverted to Clarke and Anya only a second later anyway.

"I swear, Anya" Clarke exclaimed, blue eyes flashing in annoyance – it seemed her attempts to erect her tent were failing miserably – "if you don't stop these comments, I will just knock you over with the post".

Marie frowned slightly, tilting her head to the side. She would actually like to see Clarke trying to beat up Anya, she was fairly convinced that Clarke would not be standing even the slightest chance.

Anya let out a bark of laughter "Try me, you will not get a single hit in" she retorted in a nonplussed tone, inspecting her fingers for a second, before she looked up again at Clarke's futile attempts "It will fall down again, if you leave the post like that."

Clarke's eyes flashed darkly and her hand tightened around the wooden post – Marie recognized that it actually resembled the wooden staffs she had trained with before, only a longer version of them – before she let it drop completely "I will just sleep without cover" she grumbled under her breath, stepping over to the fire and sitting down by it.

Marie giggled under her breath when her eyes connected with Anya's minutely.

The general shook her head in mock annoyance "Still as mature as a petulant child, I see" she commented towards Clarke's back and bent down quickly to retrieve the post and in only a few moments, she had single-handedly erected the tent.

Clarke had turned around slightly, glancing over her shoulder with a slight grimace "Could you not have just helped me from the beginning instead of mocking me?" she pressed out through clenched teeth, trying to ignore the obvious jab from the older woman.

"And where would the fun be about that?" Anya remarked with glinting brown eyes, sitting down by the fire as well and motioning Marie over, who had remained standing a slight distance away where the girl had apparently only watched their interaction.

Clarke huffed under her breath, rolling her eyes mutely and simply chose to remain silent, she knew that she would only fuel the fire if she reacted to the general's weird sense of humour. She was still astounded just how easily Marie had somehow taken the general's bearings in stride and still managed to even love the woman.

Marie's grey eyes glinted with amusement when she sat down next to Anya, so close that she was immediately lightly leaning against the woman's frame. When the general's humour was not armed against herself, it certainly was funny. She had sat down on Anya's other side, away from Clarke and leaving her own right side free, so she glanced up at Lexa with hopeful eyes.

Lexa's gaze was chiding as she looked at her former mentor, but her expression turned gentle when she sat down beside Marie. A slight smile graced her lips, when she noticed how Marie looked between the two of them with clear love within her grey eyes and a content expression on her features.

It seemed that Marie's journey down memory lane was not finished yet and the girl began to talk again with a slightly dreamy expression "I still remember how…".

Lexa let one arm curl around the girl's back, listening closely to Marie's recollection of what she had all experienced after landing on earth so far, and she felt one of Anya's arms doing the same, brushing against her own. She was torn between laughing at a few of the girl's memories and feeling tears burn within her eyes at the sinking knowledge that their daughter would soon be torn from their arms.

Anya listened to Marie's tales with a melancholic expression, keeping all comments to herself for now. She breathed out a little laugh at the accusation within the girl's tone at being labelled a "pauna" and later a "baby pauna" as the girl's movements had slowly begun to get less noisy with practise.

Clarke listened to the younger girl's experiences with interest, she had not been there to see almost all of them and it once again portrayed Anya and Lexa in a different light. It was clear without doubt just how much Marie loved both Trikru women in every word and it seemed obvious that the girl had felt connected to them fairly quickly as well.

It was striking that Marie only enumerated events in which Lexa and or Anya had been present for most time, the only real exemption was when the girl mentioned the dance she had shared with Gustus during Lincoln's and Octavia's wedding.

Gustus' dark eyes were suspiciously wet and expressive as he distributed the food between them and handed a plate to the blonde girl. "It was a pleasure to dance with you" he offered lightly and Marie smiled brightly at him in response.

None of them could have ever predicted just how important this young girl who had fallen from the stars would be to all of them at on one point and just how much she would be missed once the child would lose her battle against her disease.

Chapter 249

They spent the rest of the day around the fire, chatting companiable and Marie soon picked up on the fact that Lexa and Clarke were in fact still interest in each other. Both of their expression flickered with something for a second when the other said something. She still did not really understand why Lexa had not forgiven the blonde healer for their fight and had chosen to break off things with her instead. She could not out right say that she liked Clarke, but she could also not deny that the older girl was taking great care of her now.

When it was time to retire for the night, Marie caught Lexa and Clarke banding a look for a long moment, but neither said anything. Marie was not able to identify the look exchanged between them, but for some reason it seemed to her as if the raw longing she had seen within Lexa's green eyes previously was not there any longer and Lexa's expression was completely clear again, when she joined them in their tent.

Marie had already gone into the tent with Anya and the general had ordered her to sit down and had begun to slowly take out the braids from the girl's blonde hair. She had remembered something else a few moments ago, but was not entirely sure on how to bring up the subject. Anya had promised her once that she would adopt her and by thus officially claim her as her daughter, while Lexa had already told her that the same would sadly never be possible for her.

She felt Anya's long fingers card through her hair soothingly, untangling it gently without pulling at any potential knots. Marie's mind supplied a few instances where the general had been anything but gentle in this very same situation and she felt a sigh pass through her lips, she did not wish to be treated differently because she was sick but it seemed as if Anya was already handling her much more cautious than before.

Lexa slowly divested herself of her boots, discarding them on the side of the bunch of furs they would share for the night. The tent was so much smaller than the tent she usually used on her journeys but it would have taken them unnecessarily long to erect the real commander's tent each night and they would have had to take at least one additional horse with them just to carry the parts of the tent. She had heard the sigh from Marie and turned to the girl with an inquiring expression "Are you feeling well?" she asked worriedly, inspecting her appearance quickly.

Marie sighed again and a slight flash of annoyance passed over her features "You do not need to treat me as if I'd just drop dead any second" she exclaimed rather hotly, casting an accusative glance over her shoulder at the general as well "I am here still and I am fine, I'll tell you if I am not" she added after a second in a slightly calmer tone, lowering her eyes to her fingers and twisting them around nervously.

Lexa scooted closer to Marie and closed her hands over the girl's fingers, stopping their movements for now "It is alright, little star, we only worry over you" she tried to appease the girl in an understanding tone. She guessed that it was reasonable for Marie to be easily irritated, the girl had to face the concept of dying soon after all, that could not weigh easily on her small shoulders.

Marie nodded with a sad expression "I know…" she agreed with another sigh and her expression was almost heart-breaking when she breathed out "I am sorry that I will be leaving you…".

Lexa and Anya bandied a look for the flash of a second, both united in their impending grief for their daughter, before they enveloped the girl in their arms, keeping her close, which was all they could do at the moment.

Lexa said nothing about the fact that she felt the small scrap she had acquired during the journey heal over in a flash, it would be useless now to convince the girl on not using her powers any longer and she was not entirely certain that Marie was even fully conscious of healing them constantly now, it had happened so often now during the last moments between consciousness and sleep that Lexa was nearly convinced that healing them was an almost unconscious act for the child by now.

The night passed in relative peace – the medications Clarke was administering to Marie had a soothing agent in them so that the girl could sleep without the added stress of nightmare disturbing her sleep – and in the morning Marie finally spoke up about her musings from the prior night, while they were still lying under the furs together, allowing Marie a few moments of cuddle time before they would rise to continue their journey.

"Mama" she addressed Anya a little bit hesitant, burrowing herself further against Lexa's firm body in search for support.

"Mmh?" Anya hummed, opening her eyes fully and turning onto her side, so that she could truly look at Marie.

"Could you maybe…" Marie began to ask, but seemed to lose courage halfway and stopped, lowering her eyes and fiddling with the hem of Lexa's dark shirt.

Lexa's features settled into a frown at the child's clear insecure bearings, wondering what was going on with her.

"What do you want, little star?" Anya asked in a carefully gentle tone and she let a hand rest on Marie's side.

Marie looked up at Lexa for a second, grey eyes wide and showing her doubts quiet clearly, before she glanced back over at Anya and after a beat of further silence she began anew "You had promised to adopt me at one point" she breathed out with a sigh filled likewise with deep disappointment at the fact that this would never be now and the encompassing longing to still officially become Anya's daughter "would you still go through with it now?".

Anya blinked at the girl for a second, completely caught off guard by the child's question and she was only broken out of her haze when Marie's eyes filled with bitter tears of rejection and the girl turned her back to her, burrowing herself fully against Lexa.

Lexa felt her throat clog painfully at Marie's question, wondering for a moment if she could not let Luna officially go through with the ritual for herself and Marie. It would certainly not matter if the commander had adopted a child if said child had already died by the time they would have returned to the capitol.

Anya reached out again and soothingly rubbed over the girl's back "Marie, look at me please" she addressed the girl in an almost pleading tone and waited for the girl to turn her head at least a little "If you still wish to, we can have the ceremony done with the boat people" she offered in a decisive tone, brown eyes gazing kindly at the child.

Marie's gaze felt almost scrutinizing and her voice was small when she questioned "Would you want to?" her lower lip was trembling precariously already, trying to fight back the tears from falling.

Anya immediately nodded in agreement "Of course, little star" she reassured the girl without any hesitation in her tone.

Marie gave the general a watery smile and scooted back over to Anya, winding her arms around the woman's neck and burrowing her face against the soft skin of her throat, hugging her close.

Lexa stayed on her side of the furs, watching Anya and Marie from the corners of her eyes and trying to fight off the bitterness rising within her mind. She could not remember an instance where she had hated the regulations of her duties more than now. She had never before questioned the unspoken rules in this sense, but she could no longer see the sense in not being allowed to have a family. She could understand that getting pregnant herself would be out of question, solely because it would put her and the unborn into even greater unpredictable danger once the potential pregnancy would influence her strength and ability to protect herself. But why could she not claim a red-blooded child as her own?

They continued three more days like that, covering only around half of the distance they theoretically could have per day, but leaving Marie with more time to rest as a consequence.

Lexa and Anya watched over the girl with increasing worry, Clarke had had to give their daughter a higher dose of her medication already after the second day and it had to have been increased daily now. It seemed that Marie's exhaustion was finally winning out, the medication was still showing an effect but by the time they would halt around midday, it was clear that the blonde girl was already exhausted and she did not argue any longer about wanting to contribute in constructing their camp for the night.

They had switched the duties of which needed to be done to erect the camp and keep them stored with food and water among each other, leaving Marie mostly out of the loop.

They had just now stopped their journey on midday of the fourth day since leaving Polis and Marie had already gotten a glimpse of the ocean shimmering ahead of them on the horizon and it was obvious how exited the child was.

Gustus had led all of their horses over to a stream to let them drink with Clarke's help and Anya was in the process of erecting the tents for Clarke and Gustus while Lexa worked on the bigger one for them to share.

Marie trudged behind Lexa with a frown on her features, since she had seen the glimmer of the ocean ahead, she had instantly felt wide awake again "Can't we continue to the ocean now, Lexa?" she asked again, although she had done so before already and had been denied.

Lexa sighed under her breath, getting a little tired off the girl's continued question "No, Marie, we will reach it tomorrow" she reassured the child in a calm but decisive tone.

"But I can see it already" Marie whined out with a pout, turning her head back into the direction where she now knew the ocean was located.

"It is still much farther ahead than you think, Marie" Lexa tried to reason with the girl, trying to keep a hold on her patience.

"But…" Marie spoke up again in a whiney tone, stepping closer to the commander, hoping to convince the woman otherwise still somehow.

"Marie, I said "no"" Lexa retorted with a little more force and turned her head to stare the girl down for a second. Her hold on the wooden post slipped slightly and when she quickly adjusted her grip again, she felt a splinter lodging itself into her hand and a grimace flashed over her features.

Marie backed off again at Lexa's grimace and her grey eyes wandered to the commander's hand, once she had let go of the wooden post. Her grey eyes widened a little when she noticed the seemingly large splinter lodged deeply within Lexa's palm.

Lexa gritted her teeth for a second before she took careful hold of the splinter and pulled it out, wincing a little at the sensation and black blood immediately welled up from the small open wound. The splinter truly had been rather large and it had gone in deep.

Without further thought, Marie stepped even closer and quickly closed one of her hands around Lexa's hand, healing the open wound in a second without any hesitation.

Lexa sighed under her breath "That has not been necessary, little star" she assessed and her green eyes flashed with worry, when she noticed that Marie was bleeding a little from her nose again "Come on and sit down" she ordered in a gentle tone, grasping onto one of the girl's elbows and leading her over to a tree trunk to lean against.

"Can't we go to the ocean now?" Marie tried once again and confusion flashed over her features when she noticed the taste of blood. Her features fell visibly when she realized that she was having another nosebleed.

"Tomorrow, little star" Lexa reassured the girl in a soft tone and forced her to sit down with gentle hands.

Anya had finished erecting the other two tents and her brown eyes worriedly took in the girl's current state, feeling her stomach churn with uncertainty. The girl had continued to have nosebleeds unpredictably and Clarke had told them clearly that some part of the medications must be failing her already for the symptom to persist.

Thankfully Marie's nosebleeds stopped rather quickly this time, but it left the girl feeling even more drained and tired.

Gustus and Clarke returned only a few moments later and the blonde healer immediately came over to investigate Marie's condition.

It was Lexa's and Anya's duty right now to gather firewood and go to hunt for their meal. Clarke of course immediately agreed to keep watch over Marie, who seemed almost close to falling asleep already.

"Can't I come?" Marie feebly argued with Anya, although her grey eyes were visibly tired.

Anya shook her head with a soft expression "Not right now, you can rest for now" she retorted and pressed a light kiss onto the girl's forehead, keeping her from trying to get to her feet again.

Marie sighed with a slight pout, which only vanished when Lexa gave her a gentle goodbye-kiss as well.

Gustus offered to take over Anya's duty to gather firewood, so that Lexa and Anya could just hunt together and should be quicker like that.

So, Clarke remained behind alone with Marie and busied herself with setting up a large pot in which they could cook later. She also began to chop up some of the last vegetable they had left to cook. She knew that they would reach their destination tomorrow, so their reserves would last exactly as long as they had needed.

Clarke only occasionally looked over at Marie for the next few minutes and the younger girl had not moved yet from her place sitting against the tree trunk and it seemed as if her grey eyes would be falling shut any second now.

When Gustus had not returned yet a few moments later, Clarke stood up again, leaving Marie in her place with the conviction that the girl would sleep soon any way, to gather some water from the stream. It was not far and she would return a few moments later.

Marie had watched Lexa and Anya leave with the rest of her pout still lingering on her features, she had wanted to accompany them to hunt after all. She was disappointed in herself mostly for losing strength so quickly now.

She felt the exhaustion pulling at the edges of her consciousness and she barely registered that Clarke had stood up and left, when twigs snapping loudly to her side woke her back up to some degree. Marie tilted her head to the side trying to listen for additional sounds. Had Gustus left in that direction? She was not entirely sure about where Lexa and Anya had left to either. Could they be needing her help? The thought forced Marie back to her feet and another snapping sound woke up her tired mind even further.

Marie followed the sounds for some time, barely noticing how far her steps had already carried her away from their small camp, tightening her grip around one of her daggers, aware that she could also be heading straight in the direction of a predator.

She hesitated for a moment, when she noticed who had actually caused the snapping sounds. Marie stood directly in front of a small meadow and an apparently old woman was dragging a wagon behind herself with obvious great struggle. She did not know if she should approach the woman or not, but it seemed as if she needed help.

Cautiously, one hand still resting on the handle of the dagger, Marie stepped closer, stopping just out of reach and she cleared her throat loudly to announce her presence "Do you need help?" she asked in perfect Trigedasleng.

The old woman turned to face her immediately and Marie noticed just how old she appeared to be. Her hair was all grey and she doubted that she had ever seen such a wrinkly face before.

"Don't just stand there then, child" the woman retorted in a gruff tone, motioning to the wagon and swiping a sweaty strand of grey hair from her face.

Marie blinked for a moment, before she inclined her head and stepped closer. One of her hands brushed over the woman's arm for a second, but she did not notice how the woman's eyes widened noticeably.

"Are you alone here, child?" the woman questioned, tone noticeably softer now.

Marie shook her head in the negative and she motioned back over her shoulder towards their makeshift camp. She was not entirely sure if the woman was trustworthy or not, but something within her dark eyes told her that she was alright.

The woman scrutinized the blonde girl critically. She had felt this certain spark so long ago now, that she had almost forgotten how it felt and she had been utterly convinced to never meet someone again who possessed it either.

Marie closed her hands around the handles of the wagon, pulling at it with a huff, but she barely managed to move it an inch and frustration flashed over her features again.

"Do not bother, child, if you are not alone, someone else can surely help me" the woman interrupted the girl's efforts, dark eyes taking in the signs of a recent nosebleed on the girl's fair skin.

Marie frowned for a moment, but cautiously nodded her head. She did not know how Lexa and Anya might react if she brought a stranger back with her, but she guessed that she would find out about it soon.

Clarke returned to the camp only shortly later and she carried the pot with water back over to the middle of the camp. She nearly let it drop when her gaze travelled to the tree trunk, where Marie had been only moments ago and found it abandoned now.

She narrowed her eyes, looking around her vicinity quickly and feeling her heart rate increase. Clarke stepped over to the tents, looking into the biggest one in the hopes of finding Marie asleep in it and she felt her heart drop to her stomach when the tent was empty.

She had only been gone for a few moments, so where the hell could Marie had gone to? Could the girl have gone into the woods to relieve herself? Clarke hoped that this was the case and quickly left the tent again.

"Marie!" she called out the girl's names loudly, trying to keep herself from panicking. The girl would surely not be foolish enough to leave on her own in the direction of the ocean or she at least hoped so. She had of course noticed Marie trying to persuade Lexa to cross the remaining distance to the ocean today still after all.

Clarke stopped for a moment, hoping to hear the younger girl's soft tone calling back, but when the forest remained silent around her, she could not stop the panic from taking hold of her mind. Lexa and Anya would kill her single-handedly if something happened to Marie because the child had gotten lost under her watch. How could she have been stupid enough to leave her unsupervised at all?

Chapter 250

Gustus had still been in shouting distance to the camp and he frowned when he heard Clarke calling out for Marie loudly. When he heard her calling out a second time, voice distinctly taking on a panicked note, his frown turned into a grimace and he gathered his fire wood quickly, hurrying back towards the camp with fast strides.

He encountered Clarke only a few moments later and his ears had obviously been correct, the young woman was utterly panicked. "Where is she?" he ground out intently, unceremoniously letting all the wood he had gathered fall down in the middle of the camp.

"I don't know" Clarke admitted in a huff, blue eyes still scanning around the forest fervently "I only left her for a moment to get water and she was nearly asleep. I had not wanted to wake her" she tried to justify her actions, feeling guilt settle in her mind.

Gustus sighed under his breath "It does not matter now, why she was alone. We need to find Marie, now". It would help no one and certainly not Marie if he wasted time reproaching the blonde healer now, there would surely be time for it later after they had located the girl again. He wondered just how many times they would still need to search for the girl. He could not remember if Sierra had ever been gone this often as a child as well.

Clarke nodded, aware of the fact that Marie could easily have collapsed somewhere as well. It had happened before that the girl lost consciousness for some time after a nosebleed. She should have never let the girl out of her sight at all.

Lexa and Anya had just managed to shoot down a little deer, which must have been separated from its family, when the general heard a distinct shout.

Lexa turned around as well with a frown, wondering for a moment if someone might be attacking them.

A second later another shout resonated through the woods. They were too away right now to hear what was shouted, but Lexa could only assume that Gustus could have encountered unbidden guests.

Anya quickly bent down, hoisting the small deer over her shoulders. It was small enough to be carried by one person. She would have usually preferred to take the body apart now before returning, making it even lighter to carry, but she also worried why there were shouts at all.

Lexa seemed to agree that they should better return as soon as possible and they hurried back towards their makeshift camp together.

Once they got close enough to decipher the shouts, which kept on repeating regularly, Lexa felt her heart drop momentarily. Gustus and Clarke were alternatively calling out to Marie, which could logically only mean that the child was missing currently.

Lexa's lips thinned slightly while her mind fervently tried to come up with a scenario as to how the girl had gone missing at all.

Irritation flashed through Anya's brown eyes "If she left towards the ocean on her own, I am going to wring her neck single-handedly" she ground out in rising anger.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the older woman. She knew that the general would of course not make her threat come true, but she also hoped that Marie had not been foolish and thick-headed enough to disobey her in such a fashion.

They would surely find out soon enough what could have prompted Marie to leave the camp alone.

Marie hesitated for a moment, before she truly let go of the wagon "Maybe if we pull it together…" she mused thoughtfully, looking at it again. It did not appear awfully big or heavy, but the uneven ground made it harder to pull it further.

The old woman shook her head "Do not bother, child, you do not seem well" she assessed, taking in the girl's complexion truly now. The child was thin, visibly pale – too pale for this season – and bruises of various healing stages seemed to litter every inch of her visible skin, while dark circles of exhaustion resided under her grey eyes.

Marie nodded again with a frown and she self-consciously pulled at her coat, pulling it closer around her body and trying to cover more of herself with it.

"How far away are your people then?" the woman asked, looking around and not being able to spot any one. If her assumption was correct, leaving the girl alone was extremely foolish. She had seen this before, in her own daughter after all. She wondered absentmindedly how she could question this girl after the power which she was sure she possessed.

"Ehm…" Marie hesitated, looking back in the direction from which she had come "…not too far" she settled on uncertainly, although she could not clearly remember how long it had taken her to reach this point.

The woman's dark eyes widened when the girl turned and she could see her neck, revealing the sign of the commander tattooed into her skin. She had only heard rumours of the Sky people so far, but a part of them had always been that one child of the Sky people had been appointed as a second to the commander. "Lead ahead then, child" she suggested with the hint of a smile on her lips.

Marie nodded again, motioning back over. She hesitated for a moment when she noticed that the old woman seemed to have difficulties to walk straight without the wagon steadying her posture. Without much further thought, she stepped closer and offered her a hand. For a second, she wondered if her talent could somehow help her, moving seemed to cause her constant pain.

The woman's dark eyes widened even further when she felt the spark again at the child's touch, she immediately severed it, when she noticed a trickle of blood running from her nose. She shook her head quickly "Do not try to heal me, child" she said. She knew now, that she was correct in her assumption, this girl did possess the same talent her own child had once possessed.

Marie blinked in confusion, grey eyes widened in clear disbelief and her mouth hung open slightly. She felt dark blotches appear in her field of vision and she swayed slightly on her feet, reaching out back to the wagon to steady herself against the sudden dizziness. "How do you know that?" she finally breathed out as suspicion filtered into her mind.

"That is not important now, child" the old woman shook her head slightly "You need to rest and not to use your powers any longer for now".

Marie frowned in confusion. Lexa and Anya had both been convinced that no one knew of such powers and Titus had not found any references as well, so how could this woman now know something?

"How long have you been like this now, child?" the old woman questioned, dark eyes worried.

Marie titled her head to the side slightly, eyes narrowed at the woman's offered hands suspiciously for a moment, before she finally grasped onto them and they slowly began to make their way into the direction she had previously indicated. "I am dying…" she admitted flatly after a rather long moment of silence. The woman had continued to stare at her in silence.

"Dying?" the woman echoed with a frown.

Marie nodded her head sadly "My mom died of leukaemia before, now I have it" she reasoned, tone hinted with bitterness "I have not even seen the ocean yet" she added after another second. Each step felt immensely exhausting right now and she did not know if her strength would last her to their makeshift camp, she could almost feel it draining now.

The woman kept silent for long moments, mulling the girl's words over in her head and before she could actually make a response, they could hear shouts ahead of them. "It seems that your people are looking for you, child" she commented in a soft tone, reassured a little that the girl had in fact not been running through the woods on her own.

Marie nodded with a tired expression, not hiding the worry and guilt which flickered through her grey eyes. She had obviously once again worried Lexa and Anya by disappearing, after she had promised them to never do so again.

Lexa felt the anger bubble close to the surface. They had encountered Clarke and Gustus not too far from their makeshift camp and Clarke had freely admitted that it had been her own shortcoming of leaving the girl alone, if only for a few moments, that had led to her disappearance once again.

Anya had been just as angry at the blonde healer as the commander was, but they both knew that finding Marie again had to have the highest priority for the moment.

So, they separated again, each of them leaving in another direction, hoping to quicken the time of finding the girl like this.

"Marie!" Lexa shouted loudly for what felt like the hundredth time and her anger at Clarke was slowly replaced by the encompassing fear that they might not find Marie alive this time. Her mind was very creative right now and she pictured various scenarios of how the girl could have found her death alone in the woods. She doubted that she would forgive herself for leaving their daughter alone and not having been there to say her final goodbyes.

She hesitated for a brief moment, when her ears picked up on other sounds than the normal sounds of animals roaming through the forest around herself.

"Marie!" she called out again loudly and listened for an answer with a frown, holding her breath in anticipation.

Lexa felt her heart give a jolt, when she heard a faint answer to her call coming from directly ahead of her and she quickened her steps in the direction. She barely wasted any thought to the idea that she could very well be walking directly into a trap.

She felt relief course through her mind, when she broke through the tree line and her eyes fell onto Marie walking slowly next to an old woman. Lexa's eyes narrowed dangerously at the old woman, wondering for a moment if the woman might have done something to Marie.

Her slight suspicion was forgotten immediately, when Marie looked up and a mixture of relief at seeing her, guilt and apology flashed through the child's grey eyes. Lexa felt her breath shudder for a second when she noticed the blood still trickling softly from Marie's nose.

Lexa hurried over to Marie and old woman and the girl immediately let go of the stranger, swaying on her feet visibly. She reached out quickly, steadying the girl and without further thought, she picked Marie up, feeling the child wrap her legs around her waste and her head almost fell against her collarbone.

"I am sorry…" Marie slurred out with obvious great difficulty, trying to apologize for having gotten lost once again.

"Hush, little star" Lexa tried to sooth the girl, she knew how stubbornly Marie could fight against her exhaustion if the girl was upset "You are safe now, I have got you" and she tightened her arms around the girl, intent on carrying her back to their makeshift camp, it was not that far away after all.

Marie immediately let her eyes fall shut now, letting the exhaustion pull her under and into oblivion.

Lexa's green eyes hardened immediately when they fell back onto the old woman "Who are you?" she questioned in a strict tone.

"Apologies, commander" the older woman inclined her head – she had recognized the younger woman immediately "I am Hera" she introduced herself.

"From which clan are you?" Lexa asked, she had failed to recognize a definite origin of the clothing the woman was wearing.

"I was from Sankru once" the woman answered honestly "but I live with the boat people now".

Lexa inclined her head, the boat people were known for their peaceful nature and had taken on quiet a lot of people from other clans who had not fit in any longer, tired of the constant wars, offering a peaceful sanctuary instead.

"Do not be too angry with her" Hera added in an honest tone "She had only wanted to help". A slight smile flitted over her features; her own daughter had possessed this personality trait as well.

Lexa's eyes narrowed slightly, but she knew that there was really no sense in punishing the girl harshly now. It worried her far more that her health seemed to have decreased so rapidly again, Marie had not dropped from exhaustion again since Clarke had given her the first dose of this medication.

"Oh, thank god" Clarke breathed out when she noticed Lexa return with Marie in her arms, she only fleetingly wondered who the woman was in their company "Is she asleep or unconscious?" she immediately questioned, stepping closer to Lexa and trying to cower under her momentarily burning gaze.

"Asleep" Lexa answered easily, softly prying Marie's arms and legs from her own person and manoeuvring the child to sit back against the tree trunk.

Clarke nodded again "I will prepare another dose" she offered and hurried back to her own supplies.

Hera watched the proceedings with a frown, but she did not interfere.

Marie's grey eyes were tired when Clarke returned to her side and she did not fight at all when the older girl turned one of her arms, searching for a vein quickly and injecting the medicine directly into her bloodstream, where it could take a faster effect than having to pass through her stomach.

Marie frowned when she noticed how angry Lexa seemed to be and she cowered a little in guilt until she noticed that the commander's anger was not actually aimed at herself but at Clarke. "Don't fight…" she intervened the beginning argument with pleading eyes, trying to apologise once again that she had disappeared at all.

Clarke huffed under her breath, although she was truly astounded by the fact that Marie had interfered at all and even more so that Lexa had completely deflated and simply sat down next to the girl, letting her cuddle up to her. "I will go and search for Anya and Gustus to tell them that Marie is found" she offered finally; she knew her presence was not wanted by the commander at the moment.

Marie closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for the medication now being pumped through her blood stream to take effect.

Hera watched the proceedings with a deepening frown, she had no idea what the blonde woman had just done and her eyes widened a little when she barely caught the sudden glow of the child's hands, before it vanished again.

Lexa felt her own reserves being replenished once again, feeling a few scratches heal over as well and she sighed under her breath. She glanced at the older woman, but she was glancing into another direction right now. So, she softly let her fingers card through Marie's blonde hair, feeling her nerves settle again after the scare.

Marie opened her eyes again a few moments later, feeling her strength return with each new inhale. This way of administration truly seemed to be more potent. "I am feeling better already" she proclaimed in satisfaction "We can continue to the ocean still" she added hopefully.

Lexa's lips ghosted into a smile and amusement glinted within her green eyes as she once again denied the child "You will see it tomorrow" she promised in a soft tone.

Gustus' and Anya's return disturbed the rather peaceful atmosphere between the two and Marie looked rather small as she glanced up at the clearly incensed general offering another apology.

Anya's anger seemed to melt just as quickly though at hearing that Marie had obviously been weakened even further.

Gustus accompanied Hera back towards her wagon, offering to pull it further for the old woman.

Clarke mutely busied herself with preparing their food. She was nowhere near good at it yet than any grounder, but it would be edible.

Marie sensed how Lexa and Anya still appeared tense, both not saying a word to Clarke at all. In an attempt to somehow lift the mood, she recalled vividly out loud to them how she had perceived being chased by the angry pauna with Lexa and Clarke.

She seemed to have been successful as well, as all three of them appeared visibly calmer again.

"Only you could turn nearly being killed by one of our most dangerous predators into a funny episode" Anya remarked with a mixture of disbelief and amusement tinting her tone.

Marie laughed lightly – being fully awake again – but her expression turned a little more serious again "I don't think life on earth is only hard" she assessed "It can be so much fun".

Lexa snorted slightly under her breath and she wondered if she had ever thought like this before, but she could honestly not remember.

"I had never imagined to find this kind of life here" Marie said, voice tinted with melancholia "finding a family again…" she added in a strangled tone, looking between the two women with wide expressive grey eyes "…thank you so much for loving me…".

"Can we play tag?" Marie suddenly asked with a hopeful smile on her features. They had just finished their meal and she was wide awake again.

"Tag?" it was actually Clarke who echoed the word with a frown, while Lexa and Anya seemed a little clueless for what Marie was asking at all.

"What is "tag"?" Lexa questioned with a slight frown.

"It is a children's game" Clarke offered trying to explain the rules of the game.

The more Clarke explained the more likely Anya and Lexa seemed to wish to decline the girl's wish.

"We played it in school" Marie explained with a brighter smile "I played it wit Maura and the others often" she added and her smile faded noticeably "I miss her…".

Lexa and Anya bandied a look, nodding at the same time, standing up and offering a hand to the girl to pull her from the ground.

"Alright, little star" Lexa proclaimed with a slightly unsure smile "Let us play then".

Gustus watched the proceedings with a smile, while Clarke had entered into the game as well.

The girl's bright childish laughter soon resonated loudly around them and Gustus felt his own lips tilt upwards into a smile. Even through everything she had been forced through, Marie had somehow still retained some part of this childish joy and naivete which made the girl so special. He had been deeply thankful for the girl's presence following the weeks after Sierra's execution, he had grieved for his own daughter, but this blonde girl had somehow still managed to pull a smile out of him.

Marie laughed shrilly when Lexa caught her and the commander swept her from her feet and into her arms, whirling her around once, before setting her to her feet again.

"Enough?" Anya asked with a smile, stepping closer again.

Marie's lips pulled into a slight pout "No!" she exclaimed loudly, using Anya's inattentiveness she reached out and touched her, before jumping back with a squeal "Your turn!"

They kept on playing until Marie visibly was out of breath, but also smiling the brightest than she had in a long time.

"The dose will wear off soon" Clarke cautioned, observing the younger girl carefully.

Marie sighed under her breath, while she noticed Lexa tensing next to her "You should talk with each other and reconcile, I am sorry that I got lost again, but you should not be angry with each other. You should be there for each other…" The "…because I will soon not be there any longer" might have remained unsaid, but was still clear.

Lexa sighed under her breath, lips thinning slightly, but she inclined her head. Maybe Marie was correct and she needed to talk things out with Clarke once and for all. She motioned the blonde woman away from the camp and into the tree line, not wanting Marie to overhear their conversation and not really looking forward to having to hold this conversation at all.