The Flower Moon

Year Eight, Chapter Twenty-Five

My Six Weeks of Hell

Jacob's Point of View

Oooowwww!

What hell had I signed up for here? Okay, sure it was for a good reason. Actually the best. Going through all of this pain was going to be worth it in the end. It was for a good cause - to help Nessie feed through her bloodlust for me. Eventually, after she had drunk enough of my blood we could be together again, like we were supposed to be, but I hadn't realized it would be this bad. Even still, I would do it for her, go though all this pain again, over and over, forever. Anything for her.

I loved my Ness, so I knew it would be worth it. But CRAP! I didn't think I would be begging for death now like I was. Not that I would ever say that out loud. No one, except Edward, knew how bad it was, and he better not mention anything to Nessie. I was doing this for her and didn't need him ruining it, not now that we were so close to being done... I hoped.

Finding no other options, the Cullens agreed to go through with my plan. Being the medical professionals in the family, Carlisle, Edward, and Rosalie had gone over the risks with Nessie and me. I knew the risk… I could die. So what! Living without my Imprint was worse than death. If Nessie was willing, so was I.

It took some convincing but she eventually agreed.

We'd followed the same pattern for just over a month now. In another universe her drinking my blood might have been an intimate experience. But this was anything but. Once a week I would make myself as comfortable as possible on the medical bed in Carlisle's office while he stood by with an IV and several bags of O negative, ready to transfuse into me. Nessie would drink from me until Carlisle gave the word that my heart was just about to stop beating, and Rosalie and Emmett would rip her off of me.

While it was painful for me, what really hurt was that I knew the process was just as painful for Nessie. Maybe more. She hated the fact that she couldn't stop herself on her own. But just as they promised, as soon as she was secure in Rosalie and Emmett's arms, Carlisle would insert the IV and the blood transfusion would commence.

This was the fifth time we tried it. Each time I recovered a little slower than the time before. My accelerated healing seemed to be on the fritz but Carlisle thought it was just temporary.

"Now I cannot be one hundred percent certain, but in my medical opinion, taking into consideration everything I have learned about Wolves over the years, I believe that this slow down in your healing is only temporary. Once this ordeal is over your advanced healing should return to the speed it was before. It's not gone; you still heal faster than a normal human, just not as quickly as you had two months ago."

That was a relief to hear, even if the Doc was doing little more than guessing. The one thing I couldn't understand was why it hurt so much. I mean Nessie bit me all the time when she was a baby. And on Isle Esme, I know I'd sliced into my own wrist, but when Nessie sucked out those few sips back then, it actually felt kinda good. But this was the exact opposite. It was an intense scorching pain. And I felt like she was draining the life out of me, which I guess technically she was, but I don't know. The first time wasn't that bad, but it got worse and worse as the weeks went by. Something just felt... wrong.

"Jacob, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked me after he was finished with the latest transfusion.

"Like I got crushed by an army of newborns… minus the broken bones," I weakly chuckled, trying to keep the mood light.

He smiled back, but didn't actually seem happy, then his face got serious. "When you feel up to it there are certain matters we need to discuss."

"No, it's fine. Tell me now," I said as I attempted and failed to sit up. "Wait! Where's Nessie?" I amended. I didn't want her hearing anything he was about to say. The expression on his face told me it wasn't going to be good news.

"Alice and the rest of the ladies have already taken her shopping," he explained. That had been the trend lately, since my recovery time had increased. The first time she drank from me I was feeling fine after the first few bags of blood. Sure I was weak, but no one, especially me, wanted her to worry or feel bad about what she was doing to me, the pain she was causing me, or the increase in my recovery time. I'd suggested getting her out of the house on some excuse each week, and her family somehow had managed to make it happen. "They left over an hour ago," the Doc added.

"An hour ago? How's that possible? We just finished."

"I'm afraid you passed out on us, for a little while," he sighed, trying to hide the wince that was creeping onto his face. "Jacob, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm very concerned about the physical toll this is taking on your body. Edward has also informed me of the... physical pain and emotional toll you have been enduring. I wish you would have said something."

Edward, you trader, I thought to him. I was unsure if he was in the house or not, and if he would even be able to hear me, but I hoped he would. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone, not even Carlisle.

"Doc, I'll be fine, I can handle it," I sorta lied as I fought to not pass out. The room was spinning, but I fought to continue talking like it wasn't. "It shouldn't be that much longer until this is over with." Can it? "And besides, I'm not the priority. Nessie is. It doesn't matter what happens to me, if Nessie gets better. So what if I'm stuck in bed for a few extra days?"

Carlisle tried to keep his professional detached doctor face on, but I knew him long enough to tell when he was worried. "It's more serious than that, Jacob. It's getting harder and harder to revive you. There is a possibility that one of these times I won't be able to. If you don't care about your own life then think of what will happen to Renesmee. How do you think she would deal with your death on her hands?"

Damn-it! That was what I was trying to avoid with all of this, that's why we were doing this with Carlisle and the others here, so that that wouldn't happen.

"We have to keep going. Nessie and I… we can't stay… live… apart. You know how much I love her… need her… I may as well be dead without her." When I was in La Push I felt like I was. "It's the same for her."

"Yes, I saw with my own eyes how bad she was without you when we first returned. Alright! We'll try this again," he begrudgingly agreed, after taking a ridiculously long time to think it over; in reality it was probably only a second, maybe two, but for him and his super-sonic Vamp speed brain that was incredibly longer than needed, under normal circumstances. "But only ONE more time, next week as planned." He then held up his index finger, at least I thought it was. Things got blurry for a second, and I thought I saw two… no, three fingers. Squeezing my eyes shut they returned to being a single digit when I opened them. He grimaced, noticing, but said nothing, only huffed. "If the next session doesn't end her thirst for your blood I'm going to have to look for other options. As strong as you think you are I don't believe your body can withstand much more. It's now taking you days, not hours, to recover. I'm concerned about what continuing Renesmee's... treatments will do to you."

"Do you think it's at least working Doc? Please tell me that we haven't been doing this... that Nessie and I have not been going through all of this, for nothing."

"That's difficult to ascertain. Emmett and Rosalie haven't indicated that it has become any easier to wrench Renesmee from you," he huffed, before taking an unnecessary breath. "But on the plus side, they haven't mentioned any additional difficulty. Nessie did tell me that her thirst for you had been increasing each day and week before we'd returned. That has now leveled off so I would have to conclude that that means that things are improving... if only slightly."

That wasn't exactly the overwhelmingly positive news I was hoping for, but I'd take it.

"And if this doesn't work, Doc, what are we going to do? We can't stay away from each other forever."

"I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you, Jacob. We will just have to wait and see."

Great!

So for now I guess there was nothing to do but lay back and wait for my body to recover.

Alice managed to keep Nessie out of the house, on an extended shopping trip to Boston overnight and well into the next day, so that when she and her aunts returned I was almost completely back to normal. I was still feeling a little weak, but Emmett came up with a perfect solution.

"Emmett you don't need to carry me," I told him as he picked me up and started to bring me from Carlisle's office to the living room.

It was March Madness, so the TV was normally on, almost none-stop, this time of year anyway. Spending the rest of the night sitting on the couch wouldn't arouse that much suspicion.

"Yeah, I do. Can't have you falling down and banging your head again," he chuckled as he dropped me onto the couch. "Nessie will be back soon, and it would be better if you were conscious, when she sees you."

"That's not what happened," I argued back as I nearly wore myself out trying to get up into a natural looking sitting position. Sure, I'd stumbled, a tiny bit, when I got down from the hospital bed, but that was only because the Doc wouldn't let me out at all yesterday, or this morning, or afternoon, and my foot had fallen asleep.

When the ladies finally shuffled through the door everyone looked happy. Their arms were full of bags and completely consumed with their recent purchases. I don't think Nessie noticed anything.

At least something was going right.

Renesmee's Point of View

Even after a month and a half of drinking Jacob's blood, it was still hard for us to be in the same room together. But the need, the pull, to be near each other, was still there. And the more we tried to deny it the stronger it got. Eventually we had to give in... for at least a few hours each day; if we didn't one, or both of us, would have gone insane.

Tonight was hard. My throat burned for Jake's blood and I was fighting with myself to not run over to him and sink my teeth in his throat. It was a constant struggle, but though unusual. But tonight was also weird... and getting weirder. I was sitting closest to an open window. Someone had set up a fan in it to blow fresh air into the room for me. It also helped that we were sitting on opposite sides of the room, with Leah AND Nahuel between us. That was the weird part.

The four of us were all watching some movie Leah had picked out. At least that was what we were supposed to be doing. I wasn't really watching the screen anymore; I was too distracted by the events taking place to the left of me. Leah and Nahuel were actually, impossibly, snuggling on the corner of the couch and had started making out... twenty minutes ago.

I guess they had worked out their issues. But still I wanted conformation so I discreetly too out my phone and texted Jacob.

March 28

I wonder what happened that got Leah and Nahuel back together?

7:42PM

Knowing them it had probably come to blows and they must have nearly killed each other before realizing they still loved one another.

I'm glad that they were back together now. Nahuel had been a shadow of himself the past few months. And Leah… she would either glare or growl at him, whenever they happened to cross paths, whenever she would come by to visit Felicity; that or completely ignore him, pretending he didn't even exist.

Since Nahuel now thought of Leah as his true mate, it really looked like it had been killing him not to be with her. I'd heard the stories of how my parents went through something similar when my father stupidly left my mother, back when she was still human.

Leah hadn't Imprinted on Nahuel, but she knew that he basically had done the Vampire version of Imprinting on her. I know it was partially my fault, but what was she thinking treating him like she had? She'd refused to talk to me about it so I had no idea. But I guess they had gotten past it... somehow.

I was so glad.

I'd felt horrible. The misunderstanding that led to them being separated had been entirely my fault. Jake and I both tried talking to her, again and again, to explain things but she refused to talk to either us, as well. Only Felicity had been immune to her anger, since Leah saw her as the only innocent one in all of this. She wouldn't even talk to my parents, aunts, uncles or grandparents. And they weren't even here at the time this all took place.

A minute later my phone buzzed. Jake had texted back.

March 28

pretty simple

I phased wth L

she saw truth bout what really happnd

7:43PM

Oh, I guess I should have thought of that. Wait a minute...

March 28

How did you get Leah to phase with you?

I thought she was refusing to do that.

That she wanted you out of her head.

7:43PM

Jake looked like he was struggling with what to say next. His fingers were sliding across his screen so I was expecting a large text back.

As soon as my phone buzzed Jake's eyes dropped to the floor instead of over to me as they had been. Whatever had happened it looked like he was ashamed for whatever occurred.

March 28

i know

it wasnt easy

7:46PM

That was shorter than I expected. He must have erased a lot of what he first typed. But why?

Realization then dawned on me. If I was right he did something he'd promised himself he would never do.

March 28

Did you Alpha Order Leah to phase with you?

7:47PM

Jake nodded over to me, before continuing to type back.

March 28

would not have if had other choice

didnt see other way L or N 2 move on if L didnt no truth

couldnt stand for her 2 be hurting

knew she would be happier this way

felt like good outw8d bad

but was still wrong of me 2 do

7:49PM

I wasn't sure if Jake was trying to convince me or himself, as he texted on and on. He hated taking people's free will away. As far as I knew his was only the second time he'd ever given an Alpha command; the first time not meaning to, and he felt so guilty about it that time, just like he did now.

"But look at how happy she is ," I quietly whispered, to Jake. Leah and Nahuel would have also been able to hear me, but I didn't think they'd have a clue what I was talking about. Judging by the way Leah burst into a laugh after Nahuel nuzzled kisses into her neck, I don't think either of them did, and if they did they were certainly not paying attention.

Yikes! The way they started pawing at each other… I was actually getting a little embarrassed being in the same room as the two of them right now. Jake was too, judging by the look on his face. They were really getting carried away on the couch. Maybe they needed to take this somewhere more private. That or we should leave.

Right on cue Jake tilted his head toward the front door as he got up, walked over to where I was sitting, and held out his hand for me.

I was a little worried about being alone with him. What if I lost control?

No, I could do this. We would be outside, in the fresh air. I would be fine as long as I didn't get too close to him, no matter how much I wanted to.

We would be close enough tomorrow when I fed from him. Part of me was excited by the thought that I got to drink, to indulge in Jake's sweet taste again, but another part hated that I was hurting my Jacob, however briefly. I loved the taste of his blood but hated what that made me. I was willing to risk my soulmates life for my own selfish needs. I was truly a monster - no matter how much Jake tried to deny it.

Afterwards Alice and Rose were planning to take me shopping in New York, for another "fun-filled" weekend in an attempt to cheer me up.

My life was so weird.

Why did we have to drive so far away? These Cheer-Nessie-Up sessions were getting more and more elaborate. Alice told me she was planning on us staying for the entire weekend this time. I wanted – and hated wanting - more of my Jacob's blood. Both realizations were disturbing.

And what was worse was that I wasn't even sure if it was working. My cravings weren't going away. I know Nahuel said this would take anywhere from a month to a year. Well, it had been over a month but I could detect no change. I didn't know how much longer I could do this.

I know I got depressed after I drank from Jacob, but it just proved to myself how little self control I actually had. And I hated myself more because I was never able to stop feeding from him, myself. At least it was comforting to know that he was a Wolf and recovered quickly, once Carlisle replenished his blood. It wasn't like I was really hurting him in the long run.

Jacob's Point of View

I was getting settled into the hospital bed, in Carlisle's office again, for our sixth and final attempt to cure Nessie's bloodlust.

At another time, in another place, this might have been a romantic undertaking - Our bedroom, just the two of us, Nessie climbing on top of me, after I laid back in the bed. She'd straddle me; I'd grab her waist, and pull her even closer. Then she'd lean down, nuzzling herself into the crook of my neck. Her hair would fall forward, covering her face and I'd reach up to sweep it back. Our eyes would meet and then, with my hands still in her hair, guide her lips to mine. Breathing deeply she'd become intoxicated by my scent, as I would with hers. Eventually she'd make her way from my mouth back to my neck. In my fantasy her bite was pleasurable… erotic even.

But the reality was cold, medical. Neither of us got any enjoyment out of it. Quite the opposite. We weren't in our bedroom, but the Doc's office. It wasn't our warm cozy bed, but a fancy medical cot, Carlisle had acquired from some hospital. It wasn't an intimate moment between the two of us, but overseen by at least three others. Neither one of us were getting turned on by any of this. There would be no pleasure taking from any of the events of today.

But still it had to happen; it was necessary. It was needed.

Please, please, please let this work. It just has to work, I chanted to myself, over and over again as Carlisle finished his preparations and it looked like we were going to begin.

As usual, the Doc had acquired bags and bags of donated blood, all set up to transfuse into me, while Rose and Em stood by to yank Nessie off of me before it was too late.

Jasper couldn't stand being around so much human blood so Alice would take him hunting. Bella and Edward refused to be in the room during any of these treatments, for lack of a better word, and Felicity was never anywhere near the house. Esme usually took her to the movies or something, to distract her. I was so appreciative; she didn't need to see this.

David hadn't been told anything about what we were doing, or attempting to do, and everyone had been pretty much sworn to secrecy not to tell him. Even Felicity agreed that we shouldn't tell her brother, knowing how he felt about the drinking of human blood, even though I technically wasn't human, and the blood was, err… donated.

As Nessie prepared to bite me I took a few deep breaths. I knew if she saw me scream, or flinch, or show my discomfort in any way this would only be harder for her, and I didn't want that. I knew it was going to hurt but I needed to be strong for her; just as she was trying to be for me.

As her teeth locked down on my neck I tried to relax as much as I could, and not think about the pain. Instead I tried to concentrate on the sound of Nessie's heartbeats, and not my own, which were slowing, as they normally did when she drank. As she kept going and things started to get fuzzy, I fought not to sink down into the darkness that always started to take over. I tried to focus on the sounds of Nessie swallowing. With each gulp I thought of how it was helping her... us. That's why we were doing this, to make her better, so we could stay together. She kept drinking, more and more. I was struggling to remain conscious when, suddenly... she stopped.

It wasn't the tearing and shredding of my skin that normally happened when Emmett and Rosalie ripped her teeth off of me. This was different. She actually unclenched her jaw, opened her mouth, and backed away on her own.

Oh no! Was something wrong? Has something happened with all these transfusions I'd been receiving? Did my blood no longer taste good to her?

Wait. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?

"Nessie are you okay?" I asked, lifting my head as much as I could to look her in the eyes.

Woe. I had to lie back down. The room was spinning.

She hesitated for a moment. As the dizziness subsided I saw her eyebrows scrunch together the way they did when she was thinking hard about something. Crap. What was wrong? If she didn't tell me soon I was going to lose it.

"I think... I think I finally have had enough Jacob. I don't want anymore," she smiled.

What? Does this mean what I think it does? Had we really done it? Looking at the broadening smile on her face, I think we had. I could finally relax; we could be together again now. Everything would be okay.

Or would it?

I know she hadn't drank as much as she had in the past, but I felt so weak, more than I did normally when she drank from me. Closing my eyes, I was suddenly dizzy again, but I could hear the wind whizzing around me, as Carlisle rushed over and started an IV to transfuse blood back into my system. While she hadn't taken that much I was probably still down a few pints.

Thank goodness for Carlisle… I would be back to normal soon.

I was trying to focus on Nessie. On her sweet smile, but everything was blurry. I couldn't focus. Everything was spinning and I was sinking.

Wow! I was never this bad before.

"Jacob?" I heard Nessie's voice ask, but it sounded so far away and then everything went black.

Renesmee's Point of View

"Jacob?" Did he fall asleep?

"Jake." I called again but still got no response. Something was wrong. I could feel it.

"JACOB!" I screamed, grabbing his shirt and started to shake it and him. Why wouldn't he wake up? What the hell was going on?

"Nessie, please try to calm down, I need to get in there and see what's wrong," my grandfather quietly but quickly ushered me aside.

Suddenly I felt two cold arms wrap around me as my father appeared, dragging me away from Carlisle's office, and Jake, and into the hallway.

"Daddy," I cried into his shoulder, "what's wrong with him? Why isn't he waking up... I didn't take that much, did I?" It wasn't possible. I'd drunk much more on previous attempts. What was wrong?

That's when my father told me what everyone had been keeping from me - that my Jacob had been getting weaker and weaker, each week. Every time I drained him.

The office door was still open, so I could see my grandfather whizzing around at lightning speed, hooking up multiple IV's into Jacob's motionless body, trying to get as much blood into him as quickly as possible. Straining my ears as much as I could, I didn't hear a heartbeat.

"Why wouldn't you tell me this? How could you? I killed him! How could you let me kill him?" I screamed and wept. "I love him, he's my soulmate. How could you let me kill my soulmate?" Even as I said it I knew it wasn't true. They didn't let me kill him. I'd killed him. I'd done this. Jacob's death was my fault!

That's when I looked over at the bed. My grandfather, aunt, and uncle were still working on him. They were performing CPR, Emmett was pumping his chest, while my grandfather was breathing into his mouth, and Rosalie was filling a syringe with something. But with all of this Jacob just laid there. Unconscious. Unmoving. Of course he was no longer capable of movement. He was dead and it was my fault.

"No sweetheart, he's not. Not yet, anyway," my father corrected me. "I can still hear him. It's faint but he's thinking of you. Of how much he loves you. He's still fighting."

What? "He's not gone? Then what do we do? What's wrong with him, there must be something we can do," I frantically screamed.

"The problem could be with the donated blood," my father theorized. "Jacob thought of something just before he passed out. He was worried when you stopped drinking from him that his blood might not taste as good from all of the transfusions."

"Of course," my grandfather gasped. It seemed like he was admonishing himself at the same time. "We've been giving him human blood. It wouldn't have the same healing properties as his own Quileute, Wolf blood."

Did that mean the replacement blood was turning him human? I looked to my father but he only shrugged, the concern plastered onto his face.

A human couldn't handle this. Only a Wolf would survive being drained.

That's it! I knew what we had to do. But was there enough time?

"As long as we continue to pump his heart and breath for him, there might still be enough Quileute healing properties in his body to keep him going for awhile, but I'm not sure how long," my father told me.

"Grandpa, do you think he'll survive, if you keep giving him CPR, for a couple of hours?" I knew how much of a long shot it was, but I had to try.

"I don't know. Why? What did you have in mind?" he asked me while switching out an empty blood bag.

But there was no time to answer. My father could explain for me. Right now every second counted. As I ran from the house I got out my phone and dialed the one person who actually might be able to save my Jacob.

"Jake needs you now, run towards my grandparent's house as fast as you can. Tell me where you are, I'm jumping in my car to meet you. He's almost gone!" I screamed into the phone, not bothering to explain. Wolves were built for speed, but if she was somewhere public, and couldn't phase, driving would be faster.

Luckily Leah wasn't two hours away, at her house, or school, or work, like I feared, she was with Nahuel, just a few miles away. They weren't anywhere I could pick her up, but she phased and ran the whole way. Less than eight minutes later, Leah burst through the forest and appeared in the backyard. As soon as she phased back I grabbed her hand and dragged her up to the room Jacob was in.

"CRAP! What happened?" she gasped, taking in the scene. She yanked her hand out of my grasp, and rushed to Jake's near lifeless side. His chest was still being pumped by Carlisle, while Edward now blew into his mouth, and Rose changed more blood bags.

"We need your help," I explained to her before turning to my grandfather. "Can we do a transfusion with Leah's blood?" That would work, right? I had no idea what her blood type was, but the anti-venom, meant for Jake, that I'd given her, after Nahuel bit her, had worked. Wouldn't that mean that a transfusion from her to Jake would work as well? I hoped it would, because there was no time for anything else.

Not even bothering to respond to me, he quickly had Leah lay down next to Jacob while he inserted a needle into her arm and then connected it to one of the tubes that were already in Jacob's, as Edward took over chest compressions, and Rosalie pulled out the other lines. I watched breathlessly as her blood flowed into my soulmate.

Please, please, please let this work, I chanted over and over to myself.

I was hopeful at first, but as the minutes passed,and he didn't wake that hope slowly started to fade away.

A.N. - So... Things were getting interesting for our two lovebirds, but is this the end? What do you think? Do you hate me? Please review - good or bad, just let me know.

Sorry to leave things on a cliffhanger, but you'll have to wait till next week to read what happens to Jake.

Also i know it took me forever to post this chapter,... over a WEEK! But i had a good reason. A new idea for a newer, better Prologue to this already too long story popped into my head and i couldn't work on editing this chapter until i got the prologue out of my head and onto my computer.

So I typed it up and added it to the front of Chapter One of Sunrise and Orbiting Satellites – Book 1 if you are interested in reading it. There's also a few added paragraphs in there, 'cause I couldn't help myself.

Sunrise - s/12326592/1/Sunrise

Orbiting Satellites – Book 1 - s/13204890/1/Orbiting-Satellites-Bk-1-Sunrise-revised

As always - thanks for reading.