Clarke's P.O.V *a week later*
It's a day before graduation and Aurora and Bellamy are still here, they are leaving tomorrow and part of me can't wait for Bellamy to leave but another part of me doesn't want him to leave at all, the only reason I want him to leave is because it's awkward between us and I hate it. I want it to be like it used to be but I know that will take time, ever since he came to stay in the apartment we haven't talked much and it's really awkward, the only thing we do is look at each other.
I just want the old Bellamy back…my Bellamy.
I have really missed talking and hanging out with him but it's not like that, when we made up and talked out our issues I thought that maybe things would kinda go back to how they used to be but it's just like it was when we started to stop talking to each other.
Everyone is out of the apartment other than me and Bellamy, he hasn't left his room yet today but when he does it's gonna be weird. Octavia and Aurora are out getting O's graduation outfit and Murphy is somewhere because if he's not here he is either at home or somewhere else, just then Bellamy comes out and snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Hey" is all he says.
"Hey, what do you have planned for today?" I asked him.
"I don't know, why?"
"I was just wondering because I have nothing to do today but I want to get out of the house"
"Want to do something"
"Like what"
"I don't know, you have been here the longest what is fun to do around here"
"Everything that is fun is either only open at night or is not around at the moment"
"Okay what kind of nightly fun are you talking about?" he asks.
"Bars and Clubs mostly" I say to him.
"Where is O and my mom"
"Out shopping for O's graduation outfit"
"Why didn't you go?"
"Do you really have to ask that question, I'm just surprised that your mom went"
"My mom only went because she wants to spend as much time as she came with Octavia before we go home tomorrow"
We talk for about an hour then O and Aurora come home, Octavia doesn't do anything other then go to her room and pack some more because she is behind big time, Aurora on the other hand sits down next to Bell and joins in on our conversation.
*that night*
I texted Murphy earlier to see if he wanted to come with Bellamy and I to the bar down the road, he said no. O wanted to go but then Lincoln texted and she went to hang out with him, so it's just me and Bell, I hope things go back to the way they used to be soon.
We take his truck because I don't have a car or truck, instead I have a motorbike and he said he wanted to drive so that's why and because I wouldn't let him drive my bike. He puts on country music and I just get lost in the music, he looks over at me and smiles at me like he used to and then it hit me hard...I'm still deeply in love with him...I knew before that I still loved him but now that I know that I'm still in love with him makes it even more stressful than it was before.
*at the bar*
We arrived at the bar and we didn't talk the whole way here because I was dancing in the car and he would watch me every chance he could and every time I noticed it I would blush. We are at the bar sitting down and Bellamy all of the sudden just starts laughing and I'm all confused as to why and what he is thinking.
"What?" I asked him as he is still laughing.
"Thinking of the night we met, it's just kinda funny now and we were just kids and I can't believe I just walked up to you and just said 'hey what are you doing here alone princess' it's just funny to me now" he says still kinda laughing.
"What made you think of that night"
"Well back home on the corner where we met there was a bar and a diner right next to the bar just like here and as soon as we walked in here it hit my mind and made me laugh"
"I remember that night very well because it was the first time I thought someone actually understood who I was other then my brother, so much happened then and thinking about it now it's horrible"
"Yeah, stupid spacewalker being an asshole and Gina leaving me because she thought I was in love with someone else, and now that I think about it I really don't know what happened between you and spacewalker" he says.
"It doesn't matter anymore" I say to him while not making eye contact. I know if he finds out exactly what happened between me and Finn he will murder Finn and I can't let him do that. Not even Murphy knows what happened.
"It does matter so what happened, all I know is that the day you ended it with him he was hitting you and then Murphy came in and beat the crap out of him that's it"
"Bellamy it doesn't matter now, all that matters is that he is out of my life now"
"Clarke what are you not telling me, what did he do to you"
"Not here, let's have a few drinks and then go to my hiding spot"
He agrees and we drink and talk about his work and about how having Murphy right next door is a pain in my ass. I didn't want to tell him what happened but he won't give up until he knows, I know at first he will be mad that I didn't tell him sooner and then he will say how much he wants to kill Finn, I will then start to cry and he will hold me and then I don't know what will happen after that. This is what I think will happen, I don't know for a fact.
We are at my hiding spot and it has the biggest oak tree you will ever see, I sat against it and Bellamy then sat next to me. I really don't want to tell him but part of me knows that he needs to know, he's been in the dark long enough, it's time for him to know what really happened and hopefully he won't hunt down and kill him.
"Tell me what happened, I want to know the whole story" he says while looking into my eyes.
"Why do you care now, why do you want to know now, why can't we just move on?" I asked him.
"We can after you tell me, and I have always cared I just didn't ask you because I knew you were hurting, and I want to know now because you never told me before"
"You sure you want to know"
"Yes"
"Okay...well you already know how we got together so a week before I ended it with him he did things that were not okay and it's painful to talk about so...here we go. I walked into his house to talk to him about how he was treating me and he was in a bad mood, I tried to calm him down but it just made him more angry" I pause not wanting to cry.
"Hey, it's okay, take your time" he says.
Bellamy's P.O.V
"Tell me what happened, I want to know the whole story" I say while looking into her eyes.
"Why do you care now, why do you want to know now, why can't we just move on?" she asks.
"We can after you tell me, and I have always cared I just didn't ask you because I knew you were hurting, and I want to know now because you never told me before"
"You sure you want to know"
"Yes"
"Okay...well you already know how we got together so a week before I ended it with him he did things that were not okay and it's painful to talk about so...here we go. I walked into his house to talk to him about how he was treating me and he was in a bad mood, I tried to calm him down but it just made him more angry" she pauses and I know she is trying not to cry.
"Hey, it's okay, take your time" I tell her.
She takes a deep breath and then continues "he then grabbed my shoulders and shoved me against the wall, he started screaming at me because of something I didn't remember or do. He tried to take my clothes off and I pushed him away and said no then he slapped me so hard that my jaw went numb. He drugged me and then raped me, I then blacked out and when I woke Jasper was there and trying to wake me" by this time she is crying and shaking while not knowing how to continue.
"He did that to you?" she nods and I then pulled her into my arms and she starts to cry harder "I can't believe he did that, I knew he was an asshole but he is a straight up monster, I'm so sorry, I wish I knew you then I wish I could have stopped it somehow" she shakes her head then turns to me.
"You couldn't have stopped it even if we did know each other, I blamed myself for the longest time. I would tell myself that it was my fault, that I drove him to it, that I was responsible for what happened"
We look into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity then she smiles like she used to when we did something together. Right now in this moment I'm only thinking of her and only her, in this moment nothing can change how I feel about the woman in my arms, in this moment I'm not thinking of my girlfriend back home that I just left without telling her where I was going...I'm not thinking of the girl that I will have to face and explain where I've been for the last week and a half without telling her I went to see the woman I love tomorrow. No, I'm thinking of the only beautiful blonde I know that finally opened up to me about what happened to her and that monster.