A/N: A long one today, hopefully that makes up somewhat for the delay! Hope everyone is staying safe at the moment.
Kalran wasn't sure she would manage to get out of bed today.
She hadn't slept a moment all night, and her morphed body ached with tiredness while her mind was clouded with dread. She felt physically sick, a sensation that still felt strange to be something she felt herself, not something of her host's. She was going with Ilkiss to the Pool today, to give Oglud the news she'd dreaded sharing for so long.
There was a gentle tap on her door. She'd heard the buzzer go earlier but hadn't been able to summon the energy to go and answer it. Once she got up, it would be downhill from there, and she'd simultaneously wanted the night to last forever and get it over with as soon as possible, it had been such a torment to turn everything over and over in her mind.
"It's me," Akhir's voice came from the other side of the door. "Alniss let me in. Can I come in, schrellatie?"
Kalran somehow managed to summon the strength to push herself into a sitting position, and call out: "yes, of course."
The door opened slowly, and Akhir eased herself around the edge of it. She gave Kalran a gentle smile and extended a Starbucks cup towards her.
"I brought you this," she said softly. "For the little it might help."
"Thank you," Kalran managed, reaching to take it and bringing it to her lips. The taste of salted caramel met her tongue, and despite her misery she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "How did you know?"
Akhir smiled, perching on the edge of the bed. "I asked Jasmine to ask Elsa to ask Sara. Apparently, you have quite the sweet tooth."
Nodding, Kalran managed a small smile. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."
"Anything I can do," Akhir said quietly, her tone becoming more serious. She reached out towards Kalran, who gladly took her hand. "This must be so painful for you."
Tears flooded back into Kalran's eyes, and she looked down at the bright pattern of her bedspread. She felt a squeeze against her hand and tried to tighten her fingers back. "I'm glad you're coming," she choked out. "I don't think I could cope on my own."
"I'm glad I can help."
There was a silence, before Kalran managed to raise her eyes to meet Akhir's again. "I'm sorry I didn't let you in."
Akhir shook her head instantaneously. "No, Kalran, don't even think that. I understand how hard it must be for you to face today."
Kalran sighed, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I should get up." Somehow, hearing Akhir say it made it feel the tiniest little bit less awful, and she felt she could at least take the next step.
Akhir gave her another soft smile, and reached to take the cup back, placing it on the bedside table. "Come on then," she said gently, reaching to support Kalran's other shoulder with her hand as Kalran turned herself to get out of bed.
Kalran only felt sicker when she was standing on her feet, but the contact of Akhir's hand steadied her.
"Alright?" Akhir said after a moment, when Kalran was standing a little more securely.
Kalran nodded, although she was reluctant for Akhir to let her go. "Yes. Thank you."
"No problem." Her hand slid off Kalran's shoulder, and she untangled her fingers from Kalran's hand. "Shall I let you get ready, schrellatie? I'll be in the living room if you need me."
Half an hour later, Kalran, who had somehow managed to get herself through getting dressed and showered, made her way through to the living room. Akhir was sitting there with Alniss and got to her feet as soon as she saw Kalran.
"Come and sit down," she said gently, guiding Kalran to a seat. "I'll sort you out some breakfast."
Alniss looked at her pityingly as she sat down. "You poor thing," she said quietly. "This is horrible."
Kalran nodded, feeling her stomach tighten.
"Carla left this for you," Alniss said, passing her an envelope and a massive box of chocolates.
Kalran made herself open the envelope. A card with a beautiful picture of the beach was inside, and Kalran opened it to read Carla's neat handwriting.
Kal,
I'm sorry I'm not with you this morning. I know you wouldn't want me to quit work and that you want some time with Oglud just as Yeerks, I get that. I just wanted to say I hope it goes okay, and I'm here for you whenever you need me. I could join you watching a really cheesy movie and inhaling chocolates one night if you want- that generally helps me a bit with this stuff.
Tell Oglud I've booked a slot on Thursday at 4 to visit them with Alniss, in case they need me.
You can do this, Kal. I believe in you.
All my love,
Carla.
Tears pricked at Kalran's eyes again, and she took a deep breath. "This is so kind of her," she said quietly. She looked up at Alniss. "Will you tell her how grateful I am?"
Alniss nodded. "Yes. Although you'll be back by the time she gets home, I think?"
"I don't know what state I'll be in then," Kalran admitted, looking down.
"Carla will understand that, I'm sure," Akhir said reassuringly, placing a bowl of Cheerios and a glass of orange juice in front of her.
"Have you eaten?" Kalran asked belatedly. "Do you want a drink, or anything?"
Akhir smiled gently at her. "I'm fine. Thank you, though. Alniss already offered, but I've got a coffee in the car, and Jaz made pancakes this morning, so I'm definitely not going to be hungry for a while. You eat, schrellatie."
Kalran obeyed her, although she didn't feel particularly hungry, and all-too-soon they were leaving the apartment for Akhir's car. Alniss followed them to the door, surprising Kalran slightly by pulling her into a tight hug before she left.
"I'm sorry about this," Alniss said softly. "If there's anything I can do…"
"Thank you," Kalran said, touched. "That's so kind."
A short while later, they were on the main road on their way to the Pool. Akhir's car was surprisingly comfortable, despite its age, but Kalran shifted uneasily anyway, unable to sit still.
"Thank you for coming with me," she said again, when they were on a clear section of road.
Although she was still a nervous driver, Akhir risked a glance sideways to smile at her before returning her gaze to the road.
"It's nothing. I'm glad to do it." Akhir paused to shift up a gear. "Is… is Ilkiss still going to bring them?"
Kalran knew instantly who Akhir meant by 'them'. Ilkiss had, with a certain amount of shame, asked whether he could bring his new mate along, saying she wanted to support him. Although the prospect was an uneasy one, Kal had let him: she couldn't deny him any scrap of comfort he might find helpful, if he was in half as much pain as her. "She. She has a female morph."
Akhir nodded, again risking a glance across at Kalran. "You've met her, I take it?"
Kalran nodded. "Only for coffee, a couple of days ago. I… I just couldn't face the prospect of a stranger being here… I thought at least if I'd met her…" Kal sighed. "I can't say I liked her much, though. I mean, I'm probably biased, it's strange seeing Ilkiss with somebody else, but she- I don't know, she was very welcoming, nice to me, I just-"
"You don't have to like her," Akhir said gently. "Although I understand it might feel easier if you do."
Kalran nodded: Akhir's advice was sensible, as always. "Maybe not. It's just that…" Kalran sighed. "I get the sense they would like me to like her… I think Ilkiss wants…" Kal shook her head. "I shouldn't even be talking about this today."
"I don't think there are any 'shoulds'," Akhir said softly. "Oglud can't hear you, and I'm sure they'd want you to talk it through, if it was bothering you."
"I think Ilkiss is hoping we might form a new tripartite, with her, but I- it's not that I don't like him, I just-" she felt tears brimming at her eyes, and wiped them away roughly with her hand.
"Shh," Akhir said, taking one hand off the wheel momentarily to clasp Kalran's. "That must be so difficult for you, schrellatie. I can't even imagine how difficult. And you know I don't know much about these things, in any case, but I imagine you don't have to make a decision right away. Surely no-one could expect you to even start deciding something like that today. I don't think you should expect it of yourself, either."
Kalran nodded. "You're right. As you always are. You know more about this than you think you do."
Akhir smiled. "Always right? I doubt that."
All too soon, the two of them arrived at the street where they would leave the car to make the walk across the field to the pool entrance. Kalran could see Ilkiss waiting arm-in-arm with a slender, elegant woman. Tamhet had certainly chosen her morph well: she was highly attractive by human physical standards and Kalran noted that, again, she was dressed in high-status, expensive human clothing. Her shoes, at least, were much more practical than when they'd met for coffee: knee-length boots with a small heel instead of the stilettos she'd worn before. Kalran could never balance in those things and had them in her top ten list of humanity's craziest inventions, but Tamhet had walked into the café with incredible grace and authority despite half her foot being out of contact with the ground.
She and Akhir got out of the car and walked towards them, hesitantly on Kalran's part at least. She still didn't want to do what she knew she had to today, and she wasn't massively keen to be in Tamhet's company, either. Or even Ilkiss': much as she still cared for him, it was painful to see him today.
"Good morning, Kalran," Tamhet said formally as they approached. "May the Kandrona shine and strengthen you."
"And you," Kalran said, as warmly as she could manage. She turned slightly to gesture to Akhir. "Can I introduce my friend Akhir seven-three-nine of the Hett Simplatt pool? Akhir, Tamhet eight-one-nine of the Sulp Niar pool."
"It's good to meet you," Tamhet said, almost before Kalran had finished speaking, smiling expectantly.
Kalran tensed. A human might have taken Tamhet's hurry to speak as eagerness, or even anxiety, but a human was unlikely to be aware of the tradition that higher-ranking Yeerks spoke first. True, that had all but died out with the Empire, as no-one really knew what each other's ranks were now, and they hardly mattered anyway, but something about Tamhet's eagerness suggested she was keen to establish a pecking order. Why would she bother? More worryingly, how would Akhir react? Neither were sub-Vissers, and both had had human hosts, she believed, so Akhir could easily take offence at the implication that she was lesser in some way.
Kalran shouldn't have worried, of course: Akhir was far too sensible to let something like that bother her on a day like today.
"Kandrona shine and strengthen you, Tamhet," Akhir responded politely. "It's good to meet you too."
"And you," Tamhet responded, smiling in a way that irritated Kalran, although she couldn't pinpoint why.
"You haven't met Ilkiss either, have you?" Kalran said quickly, hoping to divert attention away from Tamhet.
"No," Akhir said, turning to Ilkiss with a more genuine smile.
Perhaps Tamhet's haste to speak had brought the tradition back into their minds, too, as they both hesitated, neither seeming to want to speak first. Eventually, Akhir smiled.
"Well, as my Jaz once said, we'll be here all day if we keep bothering about that," Akhir said. "Maybe we should just both say hello on the count of three?"
Ilkiss smiled. It was tinged with sadness, likely due to what they were there to do, but it was a smile nevertheless, and it lifted Kalran's heart to see it.
"I'm happy to accept that you outrank me," Ilkiss said slowly. "I'm a peace movement Yeerk, after all, I'd have been stripped of everything if they'd found out." He glanced across at Tamhet, his eyes warming as they looked at her, despite the rudeness Kalran was sure he couldn't approve of. "It's good to keep our traditions alive, though."
"Is it?" Kalran muttered irritatedly. This didn't sound like Ilkiss, and the change in him was more concerning than seeing him with another Yeerk.
"I've just quoted my host making fun of Empire traditions, I'm sure they could have got me on host sympathy too," Akhir said quickly, smiling. "Not that I'm underestimating your bravery. It was quite different, what you did."
"Indeed," Tamhet said, looking softly at Ilkiss and then meeting Kalran's eyes, smiling at her. "You are both so courageous."
"Thank you," Kalran forced out. There was something about the way Tamhet said it that Kalran didn't like, illogical as she knew that to be.
Ilkiss threw her a strange look, and Kalran immediately felt guilty. She was struggling to keep her antipathy hidden, and it wasn't fair on him.
"How are you both feeling?" Akhir said gently, a moment later. "Do you feel ready to go?"
"I'll never feel ready," Kalran murmured, tearing up again. "But we should go."
Akhir reached to touch her on the arm, her expression full of empathy, and Kalran felt another wave of gratitude that she was there. Reluctantly, Kalran turned and began to follow Ilkiss and Tamhet across the field towards the entrance, her body feeling heavier and heavier with every step.
When they descended the ladder, Kalran was pleasantly surprised to see that Fendarin was one of the Andalites escorting them.
(Greetings,) he said when they had introduced themselves. (It is good to see you again, Kalran.)
It was far too short a time before they were back in the tiny room with the communicator, one Andalite guard inside the room and one just outside the door, as always. Kalran was glad to see it was Fendarin who stayed inside: she wasn't sure she could cope with any unkind comments today.
Kalran and Ilkiss would usually run across the room at this point, but there was a moment of hesitation, Kalran glancing at Ilkiss before the two of them made their way slowly to the communicator, Akhir and Tamhet hanging back.
They stopped again when they got there, each looking at the other.
"We should start," Ilkiss said slowly. "We don't have long to explain."
Kalran nodded, tears forming in her eyes. She reached her hand out to the keypad attached to the terminal and began to type.
Hello, Oglud. She thought about typing nishli, the Yeerk term of affection between mates, but thought better of it. It felt too dishonest, now. It's Kalran. Ilkiss is here.
Kalran, Ilkiss, Oglud greeted. It's so wonderful to hear from you both, as always. How are you?
Kalran hesitated, biting her lip as she looked at Ilkiss. "Do you want to do it?"
"If you want me to," he said slowly.
Kalran nodded, backing away a little to stand to the side, and watching as Ilkiss typed the fatal words slowly into the keypad.
Oglud, it's Ilkiss now. I'm afraid we have some bad news.
Carla? Is it Carla? Despite the fact she could only see Oglud's words on a screen, Kalran could almost hear their panic, and reached across Ilkiss in haste to reassure them.
No, she's perfectly well. She's going to come and see you in a few days, with Alniss to translate for her. She only isn't here today because… Kalran hesitated, swallowing hard. The news we have to share with you… we felt it would be more appropriate if there were only Yeerks here.
Kalran paused again, wiping at her tears, and looked across at Ilkiss. "Who wants to say it?"
"I will. This is my responsibility, after all. I'm the one that said we should…"
Kalran nodded, backing away a little to let him use the communicator. Before he could, though, it pinged with a returning message from Oglud.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, it began. But is this about a separation?
Kalran gasped: seeing the words on screen was far worse than she had anticipated, and tears began to run down her cheeks. She felt a hesitant touch on her back and leaned into Akhir's arm as it wrapped around her shoulders, more confident now Kalran had accepted the contact.
"I'm not looking at the screen," Akhir said gently. "I'm just here to support you. Is that alright, with you both?"
Kalran nodded, as did Ilkiss, distractedly.
I'm afraid so, Ilkiss typed slowly, regretfully. I'm so sorry, Oglud.
It's alright, came the reply, a moment later. I have been expecting to hear something like this, for some time. It's too difficult like this, isn't it? I only hope that the two of you can find a third. You both deserve so much happiness.
Kalran began to sob even harder and reached her hands towards the keypad.
Oglud, it's Kalran now. I'm so sorry. But it isn't like that. We didn't want to tell you for a long time, because we didn't want to make things even worse for you, but Ilkiss and I separated some time ago. We- we felt that- we realised we had to tell you eventually. I'm so sorry.
There was a longer hesitation this time: probably, this was news Oglud hadn't been expecting.
I'm sorry, Oglud said. That must have been so difficult for you both. I love you both, but I understand. I hope you both meet others and find the happiness you deserve.
This isn't goodbye, Oglud, Kalran hastened to type. We'd still like to come and visit you, to stay in touch, if you want us to.
Of course I would. I would love that. I'm sorry, but for clarity I… assume you mean as friends, rather than anything else.
Kalran gasped involuntarily and felt Akhir's arm tighten around her shoulders. Seeing it written out so clearly made it feel more certain, more complete somehow, and she couldn't bear to answer.
It was Ilkiss who typed the confirmatory yes. That is what we mean. I'm sorry.
It's alright, Oglud responded. It's happened to quite a few of us, those of us who remain in the pool and one or both mates outside it. You don't need to feel any guilt about any of it. It isn't anyone's fault.
There was a short pause before the next message. I'd try and blame Andalite design but we obviously all know that's completely flawless.
If she hadn't been feeling so wretched, Kalran would have smiled, even laughed aloud at the joke. Even among the Yeerks of the peace movement, a certain amount of disparaging comments towards Andalites and their arrogance was the norm. She knew Oglud was trying to make light of it to ease the emotional burden on them, and felt a slight sensation of warmth which turned into another twist of pain as she remembered that this wonderful Yeerk, with their strength, kindness, consideration, their ability to pitch a joke that worked even in the most difficult of circumstances, was no longer hers. Even though she'd long lost much of her connection with Oglud, the circumstances they found themselves in making it so difficult to sustain, it was like being bereaved anew.
Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? Oglud asked. If I'm honest, I can't help but wonder whether there's anything that prompted you to tell me this now. I hope that… well, part of me hopes for it, although obviously it is painful as well… but I hope that it might be because one of you has found someone else, someone who will make you happy. You both deserve that happiness.
So do you, Ilkiss replied. I hope there might be others in the Pool for you. He paused, looking over at Kalran and then to Tamhet.
"Nishli, Oglud asks if either of us have someone we wish to be ilsh-nish," he said slowly. "Do you mind if I tell them?"
"Not at all, of course," Tamhet said, with a smile that was far too triumphant for Kalran's liking, although any smile would have been deeply unwelcome at that moment.
"It's a bit early for nishli, isn't it?" Kalran muttered under her breath, as Ilkiss turned back to the terminal to tell Oglud.
"Shh," Akhir murmured gently into her ear. "This is difficult enough for you all as it is."
You are right, Oglud, Ilkiss typed. I have found someone. Her name is Tamhet 819 of the Sulp Niar Pool. She came here today, to support me, although she hasn't been watching our conversation.
That's good news, Oglud responded, after a short pause. I'm happy for you, schrellatie.
Kalran felt her tears come faster.
Thank you, Ilkiss replied.
And Kalran? Oglud asked immediately.
Ilkiss looked across at her, his eyes uncertain. Taking a deep breath, Kalran moved towards the keypad.
No, she typed. Not yet. Maybe one day. I just don't feel ready for that yet. I have wonderful friends to support me, though, you don't need to worry about me. And Carla offered her support, as well. I'm not on my own. My friend, Akhir 793, came with me today to support me. Again, she isn't watching our conversation, of course.
I'm glad you're not on your own, Kalran. Please greet Akhir for me and pass on my gratitude. It's good to hear you have someone with you today. I hope you find the happiness you deserve, when you're ready. I'm sure you will, any Yeerk would be lucky to have you. I know that.
I wish it could be the two of you. Kalran had typed and sent it before she thought better of it. Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know it can't. And you deserve to find others you can be with fully, I want you both to be happy, more than anything. Kalran hesitated a moment, bracing herself to ask a question she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to. Have you- are there others you might consider?
There was a short hesitation. Yes. Although I haven't spoken with them about it, so I don't know for certain if they feel the same. We are close friends at the moment, but now perhaps it may turn into something more. I'm sorry. I know this must be difficult news.
It was. Kalran gasped aloud with the pain of it. She should have expected it, really, and yet she hadn't. She'd dreaded today because she hadn't wanted to hurt Oglud, hadn't wanted to put their relationship beyond hope despite the length of time she and Ilkiss had been separated, but she hadn't imagined that Oglud would be ready to move on, too, that she would be the only one left behind. It was an ungenerous thought, she knew she should be happy for her mates, but left behind was the only word for how she felt.
"Schrellatie?" Akhir said questioningly, squeezing the arm about her shoulder a little tighter.
Akhir still wasn't reading the screen, then, even though it must have been tempting, and Kalran was grateful for her discretion.
"I'm okay," Kalran said, even though her face was streaming with tears. "I'm fine, I just…"
"Shh," Akhir said, rubbing the top of Kalran's arm comfortingly.
Kalran forced back her despair enough to type a response to Oglud. I won't pretend it isn't difficult, but I'm happy for you. She glanced at Ilkiss, and then rephrased her sentence, writing 'we' instead of 'I'. We're glad you aren't alone.
I'm glad you have friends to support you, too, Oglud replied. Would you thank Carla from me for her support to us both? I will when I speak to her, of course, but there can be no harm in saying it twice. It's so kind of her. I'm sure Yeerk relationships aren't the easiest for humans to understand.
Of course I will, Kalran replied, wiping at her eyes with her hand once she had finished typing.
"May I?" Ilkiss asked after a moment, indicating the keypad.
Kalran nodded.
It's Ilkiss again, Oglud. I want to ask how you're feeling about all this? Are you alright? Please be honest.
Kalran was glad he'd asked the question, although she felt a stab of fear at the reminder that there was no way to be certain Oglud's reply was true.
Obviously it isn't easy, Oglud began. It hurts. I'm sure it hurts you both, too. But it's news I've been expecting. Few tripartites have stayed together in our situation. Ours is one of the longest I'd known a group to stay with each other, although of course I now realise that wasn't entirely true.
Kalran teared up again instantly at that comment, hanging her head. It had been so wrong of them to leave Oglud in ignorance for as long as they did.
I'm not blaming you. Oglud added. I understand you only wanted to protect me, to make things easier. I appreciate your kindness, you know it's one of the things I admire most about you both. But the news isn't unexpected, and that makes it easier to bear. Mainly I feel worried about how you both feel.
I'm okay, Ilkiss replied. Like you, I've known things haven't been right for a long time, and I hadn't really expected anything to start again.
I'm glad you've found someone, Ilkiss. I hope you can be happy. And Kalran? This- this must be hardest for you. You've always been the most hopeful of us, you will have kept some hope for things to go back to the way they were, I think?
That made Kalran's sobbing begin again, and she reached with shaking hands for the keypad.
I'm fine, she began to type.
"Really, Kalran?" Ilkiss challenged, though gently. "I think they want to know the truth."
Kalran paused, looking hopelessly between Ilkiss and Akhir. As she did so, she noted Tamhet's gaze was pointed directly at the screen, and rage flared within her.
"Who said you could read it?" she challenged. "Can't you see this is personal?"
"I'm sorry," Tamhet said immediately. "I didn't mean to, it's very difficult to stand here and not have your gaze drawn to it."
While the words were appropriate, Kalran didn't trust something in Tamhet's tone. It was almost too apologetic, sycophantic even.
Luckily, the terminal pinged at that moment, distracting Kalran from Tamhet.
Kalran?
I'm sorry, ni- Kalran quickly deleted the beginning of the endearment, remembering, and feeling another stab of pain. I'm sorry, Oglud. I was distracted for a moment. I'm fine though, honestly. Obviously, I'm upset but I knew this had to happen someday. I just hope you're alright. I was dreading we'd get cut off partway through telling you, that we wouldn't be able to talk about how we all felt about it, or what happened next. I just hope we can keep in touch.
Oglud's reply to that was almost instantaneous. Of course we can. I still deeply value my friendship with both of you. I would love to keep speaking to you, although I would understand if you wish to come less often. It must be a difficult journey.
No, Kalran said quickly. I like coming. I'm happy to keep coming every fortnight, if you still want to speak to me.
Of course I do, Oglud responded instantly.
"May I?" Ilkiss asked after a moment, looking between Kalran and the keypad.
Kalran nodded, wiping at her streaming eyes with a hand as she moved aside.
It's Ilkiss now. I'd still like to come, as well, if you'll have me. And about Tamhet- he paused for a moment, tensely- I know you probably feel I've betrayed you.
There was a short pause before Oglud's response. No, Oglud replied. I understand. And I've been considering others, too, so I can hardly blame you. I hope you're happy together. She's very welcome to come with you to visit, whenever she'd like to.
Ilkiss relayed this to Tamhet, who smiled. "Thank them for me," she said smoothly.
And Akhir's welcome, too, Kalran. Or any other friend you want to bring, both of you.
Kalran turned to Akhir. "They say you're welcome to come anytime."
Akhir gave her a gentle smile, tinged with sadness. "That's very kind of them. I would love to, if you'd like that."
Kalran was about to relay this to Oglud, when the door opened suddenly, and the Andalite guard from outside the room hurried in, tailblade raised. The four Yeerks jumped closer together automatically.
(Warrior Fendarin, have you taken leave of your senses?) the other Andalite asked furiously, not bothering to keep his thought-speak private. (I thought you might be dead or unconscious. They've had ten minutes over their time.)
(Really?) Fendarin responded, his voice quite calm. (My mistake.) He turned to them and said softly: (I must ask you to close your conversation, as quickly as you can.)
Kalran felt a painful tightening in her stomach, and hurriedly turned back to the keypad. She relayed Akhir's message and explained the situation.
We have to say goodbye now, Oglud. I'm so sorry. I'll be back in a fortnight, still, I promise.
I would love that, Oglud said instantly. I'm sorry too, Kalran. Look after yourself, won't you? I'm so glad Akhir is with you.
Carla's going to look after me too, tonight, Kalran responded, typing as fast as she could. I won't be alone. Will you go and see Narliss?
Yes, Oglud replied. Goodbye for now, Kalran. Take care of yourself.
Kalran backed up, covering her mouth to stifle her sobs as Ilkiss stepped forward to say his goodbyes. Akhir's arms wrapped tightly around her, and Kalran turned gratefully to bury her head against the other Yeerk's shoulder.
Akhir practically carried her out of the room, and Kalran felt a fresh wave of pain at the loss of contact when they had to separate for each Andalite to escort them up the stairs. However, Kalran soon felt a gentle Andalite hand on her shoulder, the tailblade held much further away from her throat than was normal. She turned her head carefully to meet Fendarin's eyes.
(I'm sorry,) he said to her in what she assumed was private thought-speak. (I wasn't trying to listen, but I can see that was a difficult conversation.)
(Thank you,) Kalran returned, in private thought-speech herself. She didn't often use the capacity her morph had to thought-speak, it felt too Andalite, but it was the best way to communicate here. (I'm glad you were guarding us today. It made it much easier. Thank you for your kindness.)
(Thank Carla, not me,) Fendarin responded humbly. (She brought your situation to my attention: it is no accident I was guarding you today.)
Kalran was so surprised she tripped on the next step. Fendarin's tail moved faster than she could see, wrapping strongly around her middle and breaking the fall.
(Careful,) Fendarin said gently, returning his tail to its previous position once Kalran had rebalanced herself. (It baffles me how humans have survived as a species, with such poor balance.)
Kalran wasn't sure how to thought-speak a laugh, or even if it had been meant as a joke.
(Carla also told me about a campaign,) Fendarin said, waiting this time until Kalran was on a smoother section of floor. (To improve conditions for your fellow Yeerks in the Pool. I would like to help. I am less sure about allowing infestation, I do not really know if it is healthy for humans. Gedds, perhaps. Your species have been evolving together for a long time. But conditions could certainly be improved here. Is there any way I can help?)
Kalran almost stopped walking with the shock of it. (What?!)
Fendarin hesitated. (I apologise if my request has caused offence.)
(No, of course not,) Kalran said, recovering herself. (I just- I was surprised, that's all. Yes, of course you can. I'm not exactly in charge though… the best person to contact is probably a human, Elsa Anderson. I don't know her phone number off by heart, though.)
(Perhaps we could arrange a place to meet, to exchange information,) Fendarin said. (I have some time in three weeks, on Saturday afternoon. I often visit the excellent human restaurant Pizza Hut. I believe there is one in the largest human retail establishment in this city.)
It took Kalran a moment. (You mean the big mall?) She tried to thought-speak a picture of it: she'd been used to sending images as communication with hosts, but she'd never tried it in thought-speak, and had no idea if it would be the same.
It seemed to work, though, as Fendarin said: (Yes. I could meet you there at 13:00 human hours? Perhaps this Elsa Anderson can join us, if she wishes.)
(I'll see if she's free,) Kalran promised, as she ascended the final few steps of the staircase and crossed towards the bottom of the ladder that they would leave by. (Thank you, Warrior Fendarin. I can't express how grateful I am for your kindness. It made everything so much easier, today.) She tried to send him her gratitude: it was an easy thing to do to a host, but again she had no idea if it worked in thought-speech.
(That's an impressive skill,) Fendarin said. (Usually only Andalites can do that. Send emotion, I mean. And it is difficult for us, it usually only happens at the most emotionally intense times. Anyway, you are most welcome, Kalran.)
Fendarin's tail pulled away from her neck and he stepped back. (You may leave when you are ready,) he said in public thought-speak.
Kalran nodded, climbing up the ladder as quickly as she could manage. At this point she just wanted to be away from the Pool. As soon as they reached the surface, Akhir's arm wrapped back around her, and Kalran turned to bury her head against the other Yeerk's shoulder, no longer able to restrain herself from giving in fully to her sobs.
It was several minutes, at least, before she felt able to draw back and raise her head. Akhir said nothing during that time but rubbed a hand comfortingly across her shoulders. When Kalran eventually surfaced, she found Ilkiss and Tamhet still waiting awkwardly, watching her.
"Kalran…" Ilkiss' voice was filled with pain as he took a hesitant step towards her. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."
She shook her head, insistently. "No, it isn't your fault. It had to happen someday. Like Oglud said, it isn't anyone's fault. I just… I can't…"
"Oh, Kalran," Ilkiss choked out. His glance towards Tamhet appeared instinctive, and her soft smile appeared to calm him almost instantly. He turned back to Kalran. "I wish I could make this easier for you."
The interaction between him and Tamhet hadn't made it easier in the slightest, even though Kalran was glad to see him happy. She battled to keep her expression from betraying her emotions: it would only make things worse for Ilkiss, which was the last thing she wanted to do.
"I'm fine, really," Kalran managed. "I- I just- I just want to get home."
There was a short silence. "Come on, then," Akhir said gently, squeezing the arm around Kalran's shoulder slightly tighter as she stepped forward. "Let's get you home."