Part XXI
Buffy's hands tightened on her crossed arms and she forced herself to take a deep breath.
"You let my sister go with Xander and Kennedy to hunt down Caleb and a Turok Han? All by themselves?"
"Well, to be fair we didn't know what the threat was," Giles said, cleaning his glasses briskly.
"You knew it was something that was able to get the best of me," she said with forced calm. "Do you think a Xander plus a Kennedy plus a Dawn equal a me?"
"Uh, maybe?" Willow said, looking like she was doing the math in her head.
"And you sent Andrew to Wolfram and Hart in LA to find out what they're up to and to save a crazy slayer?" Maybe Giles was onto something with the brain damage because what she was hearing was adding up like two and two equaling yellow.
"It sounds bad when you say it like that," Willow pouted. "I swear it seemed to make a lot of sense when we decided on it…"
"Andrew will be the least likely to raise suspicions. No one will watch him very closely because they won't register him as any kind of threat," Giles said.
"Maybe because he's not?"
"That will give him more freedom to find useful information," Giles continued as if Buffy hadn't spoken.
"And has he?"
"Well, not so much," Willow hedged. "He found out Spike's alive and there at the office and has been kind of... mooning over him."
"Spike's alive?!" Buffy's faux calm melted away as her jaw dropped.
"Yeah, Wolfram and Hart and their wacky Necklace of Doom," Willow shrugged. "And not so much alive as… restored? Still all 'grrr' and minus a heartbeat."
"How long-"
Buffy stopped at the uncomfortable look on Willow's face. Well, wasn't that nice. He'd been alive, or undead, again for a while apparently and hadn't even bothered to call. Who'd have thought the news she was in a coma would be the best part of her day when she woke up.
"You know what, never mind," she said, forcing herself to push away any hurt. "So, to recap Dawn, Xander and Kennedy told my cute downstairs cop neighbor - that I was only able to go on one kinda date with, by the way - all about monsters and magic and Slayers along with his two other cop friends and a writer that looks like Caleb but you swear wasn't. Meanwhile, actual Caleb is running around town with an ubervamp. And Andrew is in LA reviving his man-crush on Spike when he's supposed to be sleuthing it up at Wolfram and Hart while a Slayer sporting a mental break is running around the city."
Giles and Willow looked at each other, then shrugged and nodded.
"Yes, that's about right."
"Yep, sounds like you got it."
Buffy rubbed her face and sighed wearily. And to think she'd been complaining about how bored she was before her move to New York - the most exciting thing that had happened in the month before was finding a round noodle in her macaroni and cheese…
"Well, let's get going, Will. You can do your zappity-doo-dah thing and get me back to New York so I can kick some-"
"Absolutely not," Giles interrupted, looking stern. "It's been made very obvious that that mode of transportation isn't safe."
"But Giles-"
"Buffy, it's foolhardy at best, suicidal at worst."
"But my brain's all fixed now right? Nothing bad should happen this time."
"You don't know that. Nothing bad 'should' have happened the last time."
"Fine," Buffy huffed. "I'll fly. But if everyone's dead when I get there, guess who's getting a big 'I told you so'?"
Giles opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by Darth Vader's theme song. With some expletives mumbled under his breath both about Andrew and "this infernal device", Giles freed his phone from his pocket and answered. Willow sidled up next to Buffy while Giles was distracted.
"I could pop over, make sure everything is okay?"
"You're going to pop me over. I'm going make sure everything is very high on the 'not okay' meter for Caleb and his ugly little buddy. I need you to get to L.A. and gather up a Slayer Party to back up Andrew, because I doubt Angel is going to find him and his orders very intimidating. He has this weird thing about it being 'his city' and no way are we leaving a mentally unstable slayer in the hands of Wolfram and Hart."
"But you just told Giles-"
Buffy waved her hand around. "We'll leave like we're going to the airport and you can zap me over there."
"But, your brain…"
"Yeah, don't put me in a coma again, 'kay?"
She patted a gaping Willow on the shoulder supportively and turned to Giles, who was walking back over while putting his phone back in his pocket.
"Andrew was unable to find any specific reference to the Turok Han or Caleb, but he did find information to suggest they keep a kind of 'collection' of rare one and only demons and other varieties of evil."
"Caleb, as the only being to be imbued with the power of The First, and the only Turok Han left would fit the bill," Willow said grimly.
"So, these guys somehow got out of their glass case and Slaughter is trying to stuff them back in their boxes. That's why they wanted us to stay out of it – didn't want their collectables dinged up," Buffy guessed with a frown. "But looks like they're proving to be a little more wily than he expected."
"Indeed," Giles said. "It's imperative we not allow them to be taken again. We'll have to look more fully into this 'collection' and how to dismantle it in the future."
"I chopped the guy in half, how much more sure can I be that he's dead?" Buffy asked. "And I don't know how they got ahold of an Ubervamp. Did they reassemble it from the ashes in the Hellmouth?"
"It's more likely that Angel was followed to Sunnydale and they were able to resurrect and trap Caleb immediately upon your leaving the crypt. The Turok Han could've been taken at any time prior to the last battle if Wolfram and Hart knew what was coming – and since they were the ones that sent you the necklace we can presume that they did."
"So dusting the vamp should be an okay end. What about Caleb? Does First Evil Mojo make you like Play-doh - you can be torn apart and just mushed back together again?"
"Maybe chop him into tiny pieces and separate them à la The Judge? That or set them on fire?" Willow suggested.
"Oh yeah, because finding a quiet spot to dismember a body and set it on fire in the middle of New York will be cake," Buffy said, shoulders sagging. "I hope Kevin still likes me because I'm probably going to need a cop on my side to get out of this. Can Willow at least zap me out of prison?"
Giles looked uncomfortable and took his glasses off to be cleaned again. "Well, um, yes, I suppose that would be- I'll do some research to see if there's any way we can stop Caleb without involving prison time."
Following Giles to the door, she waited until he was out of earshot and told Willow, "I'm going to track down the scythe, it's like the Ginsu Knife of chopping evil so this job is just begging for it."
"Because if anything is lower key than dismemberment and arson it's a girl carrying a big shiny axe," Willow snickered.
"Hey, if you're gonna do it, do it right. Faith better not have left it all sticky again," Buffy mumbled with narrowed eyes as she walked down the hall.