Chapter 19

Kylo strides through the corridors, making his way back to the bridge. He's grateful for the long walk, as the last thing he wants is for Hux to see him in the state usagi has left him. He'd almost gone to his quarters, allowed himself to imagine her silken skin and soft lips while giving in, but he wants to save his pleasure for her. It feels almost disloyal to engage in such things now that she's near. He may not be able to give all of himself to her, having indulged the basest of his urges years ago, but he will do what he can to not dishonor her further. Now that he knows what true intimacy feels like, he regrets having shared even the palest, most shallow imitation with others.

His boots click along the deck, his body calming. He wishes he'd remembered to ask her about her mother luke cursed her with. He's concerned that she didn't want to find her. She'd had been curious of her family her entire life and he knows the truth of her origins has cut her deeply. She's not chosen to speak of her mother, but he's certain it weighs heavily on her. He would like for her to confide in him. He decides he'll send Jashad and Palek to Dashrah to confirm that Lann Tren is there, and to find out if she regrets what she did to her daughter. Plus lady zelena wants to have a few words with her. He wants her to have the option to see her mother when usagi decides it's time. Perhaps his knights might be able to garner a lead on her father. Maybe hewon't be such a resounding disappointment. Six stormtroopers halt abruptly when they see him. Right. He's not wearing his helmet. He'd forgotten in the midst of everything.

"Supreme Leader," said Hux

"Hux." Said kylo

"Your office will not be … ready for you until tomorrow afternoon." Said Hux's

"I will be in my hall, then. However, first there is a matter I wish to discuss with you." Said kylo

"Yes, sir," said hux

"The surveillance on usagi … I no longer want to be informed of her movements." Said kylo

Kylo said he wouldn't watch her. Perhaps … perhaps he shouldn't even have her tracked at all.

Oh he likes this solution very much. He's not watching her or having her watched, but she will be monitored. He decides to forgive Hux for stunning him. He leaves Hux's office and goes to retrieve his mask. Plus he has gifts sent to tamaki and draco. He knows what they liked.

He's perusing a summary on the status of Nephlak, a strange world with two distinct societies, one that is heavily entrenched in the slave trade and another that is petitioning for entry into the First Order. It's a puzzling situation. he's been able to truly focus for the first time in days. Usagi smile floats through his mind from time to time, but it makes him feel hopeful and warm, not panicked and alone. She just needs time. She said that she cares for him. Everything is going to be perfect.

His head snaps up when a stormtrooper enters his hall.

"Reporting as ordered, sir," said zoycite

kylo forgotten that he'd left a standing order for zoycite to report to him every evening. It's exceptionally tempting to find out exactly what usagi had said to Wylan, but he must stop prying into her private business. She was just being kind when she'd gone to visit his despised rival. Now that he's told her what sort of person he is, he's certain that will be the end of it. He should send the zoycite away. Right now. But … she is here. It wouldn't hurt to ask a few questions. No. No. He must control himself. He'd said he wouldn't watch and though this is not precisely the same, he knows usagi wouldn't see it that way.

" zoycite do not require you at this time. You are dismissed. You will go back to your division and have no memory of reporting to me." Said kylo

"I will go back to my division and have no memory of reporting to you," said zoycite

Kylo sits back down after glaring at the once knight of the silver kingdom building her way back up. He was looking out across the room. It wouldn't do for usagi to discover his actions regarding her friend who is gaining her way back to her former knight title. She'd never understand. He will revoke his order that zoycite report to him daily. Usagi will never know what he's done.

Meanwhile late that day

Kylo stands outside her door with his helmet and gloves in the crook of his arm. He places a palm on the surface and leans his forehead against the metal. He's sure she'll at least grant him this contact, a brief moment to say goodnight. There. She's letting him feel her. But it's not the warm, gentle wave of her like it had been last night. It's cold and sharp. As usagi opened her door and looked at him.

"Kylo, You can't keep doing this." Said usagi

"I thought … after last night …" said kylo

"Go to bedKylo. Don't come back. I will tellyou when I'm ready," demanded usagi

"Alright, usagi my beloved. I … I love you." Said kylo

She doesn't say anything as she closes the door she looked like she was tiered. He senses her moving from the door. After speaking with her this afternoon he'd been left feeling strong, reassured. But her most recent rejection stings. He makes his way to his quarters, trying to ignore the emptiness forming in his chest.

Meanwhile the next day

The next morning he's still working out of his hall. He dislikes the room and all of its reminders of bowing and scraping to Snoke. And the things snoke did to him, But he supposes it's only fitting that he be uncomfortable after behaving as he did yesterday. Hux had been most displeased when he'd tallied up the expenses. Usagi not said, but he thinks it must have frightened usagi to see the aftermath of one of his explosions. He wishes he didn't do that, but he's never known how not to. He's always had a temper. Always. But it had been dismissed with indulgent humor when he'd been a boy. But now … knowing that usagi watched him through the Bond as he had disintegrated the first night she was here and then had seen the aftermath of his wrath with her own eyes … he can no longer deny that it frightens him. What if he were to hurt her one day? He doesn't think that he could, but he's not sure. He had before when he'd thrown her against that tree, so many months ago. He still has nightmares about her scream and the sickening thud as she'd hit the ground.

He's never come undone as badly as he did yesterday. He'd put the ship in danger. Dread seeps into his veins as he realizes he put usagi in danger.

What would have happened if szayel hadn't stopped him? He must find a way to keep from being pulled into that place of utter lunacy. What if next time is the time usagi gets caught in the storm with him? What if he can't protect her from himself? What if he does something unforgivable? For a moment he misses the safety of service. There was serenity in following. But neither of his masters would have known how to help him with how usagi affects him. They had no understanding of desire, devotion, need … love.

Kylo has been pining for usagi for far longer than a year. Grandfather would understand. He had his Padmé; he knows the power of love. Kylo had not wanted to make his grandfather remember his lost beloved by speaking of usagi, but perhaps it is time. He will try to contact Grandfather again tonight.

Kylo greets his knights. Thus far they have seemed invested in finding usagi family that his uncle cursed her with. That they'd been as revolted with Sylten Qree's behavior as he had been makes him feel a certain kinship with them. He's never been close with either man, but he's fast growing to trust this pair.

"Supreme Leader," they say in return.

"The queen … usagi says that she is not yet prepared to see her filth of a mother luke forced her to be reborn to. However, I would like to ensure that Lann Tren is indeed on Dashrah and perhaps find out who her father is. I am sending you both to learn what you can." Said kylo

"It would be our pleasure to continue to do what we can for her. She's a lovely girl, special," said Jashad

kylo grows suspicious at what he had meant by that comment. Jashad had only spoken with her briefly the night they found Qree and Palek had simply observed. While szayel is forced to be in these meeting with him each time just in case. The Octavia espda cleared his throat and gave him the warning, kylo sighed usagi made sure he was to remain in check.

"Yes, she is, but how do you know that?" asked kylo

"We had the opportunity to speak with her earlier." Said Jashad

"Where?" asked Kylo

"In the med bay. She arrived while we were visiting Wyl-" said Jashad

"She was visiting Wylan? Today?" asked kylo

kylo asks dangerously. While szayel sighed he made sure he had enough sedatives to knock out the whole soul society, plus mayuri made he watched over usagi as the father he wished he was to her. But he did blood adopt her. kylo told her about Wylan. She knows that he hates him. Jashad tenses and looks to Palek who sighs heavily. As szayel golden eyes glared at them for the stupid thing they said

"Yes, sir," the smaller man states.

Kylo's body goes rigid with rage. His fingers dig deeply into his palms, the leather keeping him from breaking skin as he tries to restrain himself from cleaving the table in two with his saber. But szayel put his hand on his shoulder and push his power into kylo shoulders to keep him there. He breathes in and out, his chest heaving. He'd told her that he would control himself. But she had visited Wylan after knowing how he feels about the hated knight … No, it doesn't matter. He must learn to keep from flying apart. Usagi has asked it of him. Plus he don't want to be sedated again.

"Is she still there?" growled kylo

"She was when we left. Wylan had just woken up. But that was hours ago. I'm sure she's back in her quarters," said Jashad

jashad offers in reassurance. It doesn't work. The knowledge that Wylan is conscious makes this exponentially worse. Now the other man can touch her. he needs to know. He won't be able to function if he's imagining Wylan's hands on her. But he's promisedhe won't spy. He doesn't know what to do! Her accusations from yesterday pull at his conscience. Alone. He must be alone. He needs to remove himself.

Meanwhile in his chambers

His boots eat through the distance to his training room. How could she? After he had been so understanding? He had every right to demand she never touch any man but him but he hadn't. He'd been reasonable. Has she no proper feelings at all? Yesterday she had said that she cares for him and today she's again at his rival's bedside. And now he's awake. He could be running his filthy hands all over her. Kylo is not allowed to see her, nor have the briefest of contact. He's not even permitted to wish her goodnight. But Wylan, hehas her coveted attention. What if she visits him every day? What if they grow close? What if she prefers Wylan's company to his own? What if she lets him teach her?

He strides past a squad of stormtroopers and he wants one of them to cross into his path, look at him wrong, anything to give him a reason to act. He wishes they all would. But zoycite would tell her if something untoward were to happen to her comrades. Finally he reaches his training room. He rips his helmet from his head and engages four training droids. He spins and deflects the bolts, his surcoat whipping around him. What he really wants to do is storm into medical and ensure she's not still with him. She could have spent the whole day with Wylan while he'd been blissfully unaware of her treachery.

Twist, lunge, parry. He's not even paying attention, muscle memory doing the work for him. He wishes he could crush the droids, pull the paneling from the walls. But she says that it's not space if she must worry for him and he has no idea what would get back to her on a ship of thousands. He knows he has to calm down but he doesn't know how. He feels like he's going to unravel completely. Perhaps he could talk to Vitok? No … he's already told her too much. Why would usagi do this to him? Is she punishing him for taking her? Must he suffer a commensurate amount before he's allowed back in? Wait. He's in his training room. Swiftly he shuts off his saber and goes to the wall of weaponry, waving his hand at the training droids to cease their program. There, a set of daggers. Desperately he lunges for the nearest blade and wrenches up his sleeve. He pauses. She'd asked him to stop, but he'd not promised. He's only said he would think about it. Well, he has, and right now it's necessary. He takes a deep breath and steadies his hand. It wouldn't do to have a repeat of last time. The relief is immediate as the blade pulls along his skin.

Meanwhile a few hours later

Kylo watches the stars go by from the view screen in his quarters. He'd bought himself an hour or two of peace, but now all he can see is her hands touching Wylan. His imagination is taunting him with lurid images of them together. Her delicate hands running along Wylan's face, his repellent fingers touchingher. What if she'd shuddered and gasped the way she does when Kylo touches her? He can't get the pictures out of his head. Some small part of him knows he's being irrational, but it's drowned out by the toxic jealousy that eats everything in its path. Had she sent him away last night knowingshe would again visit Wylan? He's going to lose his mind if he doesn't know what happened. He couldask Hux for a report of her movements today; it's not reallyspying. But that wouldn't tell him what had transpired in medical.

He could ... he could speak to zoycite ... No. That's worse than spying. He knows it is. But she would never know, and it would keep him from her rooms ... He's certain he will end up breaking down her door if he doesn't know what she's done. What if he's kind to the stormtrooper? He could explain a bit of why he wishes to know ...

Grandfather! Grandfather will know what to do. He had intended to speak with him tonight, anyway. He has been silent for longer than he ever has been before, but surely he will respond to Kylo's entreaties this time. He will sense his grandson's dire need. He hurries to his sanctuary.

He takes his customary position in front of Vader's helmet and brushes away the memory of Rey's desolate tone and unnatural stillness when he'd first found her here. Calm. He must center himself to become open to Grandfather. He breathes in and out in deep, measured breaths. This will work. Grandfather always knows what to do. He concentrates on feeling the Force flowing through.

"Grandfather, help me. Please. I've found my Padmé and it's tearing me apart. I need your guidance." Said kylo

Nothin goes to his knees and grasps his hands together, mimicking prayer. he begs into the ether for an eternity, but there is nothing. Finally he drags himself to his feet and leaves his room of treasures. Even though he has no need anymore. What a ghost smiled and left to go back to where he was needed.

Reason is gone Madness has won. It's the middle of the night and he's outside zoycite barracks.

The stormtrooper disappears to retrieve KS-2153. Soon, a slender woman with dusky skin, short blond hair, and startling green eyes is presented to him. But she kinda looks like a guy. She's wearing standard issue sleeping attire, a short sleeved top and loose shorts. Her eyes are full of fear.

"Come with me," demand kylo

He stalks to a nearby control room, knowing the soldier will follow. Once they're both inside, he closes the door. Zoycite is trembling and he shoves aside the knowledge that he's reprehensible. She knew she was in for it now. Someone spilled on her taking usagi to see that fallen knight that kylo tried to kill. Lord hades bitching her out saying if she failed this time around she will never gain her silver knight status.

"Today usagi visited Wylan Ren. Tell me all that transpired. Leave nothing out." Ordered kylo

"Sir, please. She's my friend and queen. I promised her she could trust me, and kinda don't want to screw up again." pleaded zoycite

kyko growls as he remembers that the quaking former silver knight known as zoycite. But she has no memory of the last time she'd resisted him. There's no patience left within him so he raises his hand and pushes into her mind. She tries to fight him as tears spring to her eyes. He sensed her power but still training it under minako, but Unbidden, he sees usagi stricken face on Starkiller, well Rey at the time, but her skin blotchy from crying. He concentrates on his task. This had been … easier when she had been wearing her helmet.

"Do not struggle; I have no wish to hurt you." Hissed kylo

kylo rips through her meager defenses and he has it. As he pushed past the power she was shielding herself with. While he was not going to give up on this. He will make sure she will not remember once he was done. But he needed to gain the information that he needed. He didn't want to sif in his knights minds. He didn't want to be pissed off at any of them. But Wylan was a different matter. He hated that pain in his ass. But no snoke had to have him as well, so yeah he was stuck with the bastard. But he has his beloved attention. That was something that he hated the most about this. And he was the one who was stuck in the dog house still, but it seemed that hux has it worst when he was stuck in the dog house.

usagi and zoycite enter the room and find Jashad and Palek already with the still-comatose Wylan. Today usagi is wearing a deep blue dress, plain, but she's still exquisite. It has a high neck, so he cannot see the telltale ribbon that reveals if she's still wearing his gift. Not knowing in the face of her choice to again visit Wylan makes his heart cold. Her hair is in its usual style. At least no one but him has been allowed to see her flowing hair. The zoycite stands by the door and usagi and his knights look at each other for a moment. While szayel was watching along with mayuri.

"Uhm, hello," said usagi

"Hello, Lady usagi," said Jashad

Jashad steps away from Wylan's bedside and comes to stand in front of her. But he could see his other male knights has the spark in their eyes. But look back at the szayel who was glaring at them along with mayuri. Palek nods his head respectfully, staying as he had been when the women had arrived. Mayuri hugged usagi,

" oh please don't call me that. Just usagi is fine." Said usagi

"That would be inappropriate, my lady. Plus your lunarian royalty. " said palek

"You are far from nobody. You are the Supreme Leader's lady." Said Jashad

Usagi sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Szayel rush to her side as if he was concerned for usagi. While the pink hair girl sighed as if she had her mother temper as well. But she smiled to her must have started to work with her husband. But she hugged her mother tightly, but that did warm his heart seeing her children lovd their mother . plus she dragged one if her brothers who had one of his OCD fits about things are not being symmetrical.

"I don't know about that, but I do know I'd reallyrather you call me usagi. Onlyusagi." Said usagi

"If that is truly your preference?" asked Jashad

"It is. I'm just as normal as the rest of you," said usagi

"Then that is what we shall call you, usagi," said palek

palek offers as he comes to stand next to Jashad, dwarfing the smaller man as they were in awe at the lunarian queen. While rini arched at brow at the two men . they only stepped back as if saying we are not trying to get into your mothers pants. Even though we wish we could. Kylo would snicker if he was in that mood. But it seemed usagi children has that part of her in all of them. But he continued to view.

"Thank you. And thank you, both of you, for everything you've done to help find my family even though Luke made sure I was reborn into the worst ones.." saud usagi

Kylo grows impatient. He flips forward in the memory. Wylan wakes, szayel and mayuri come and go, and then the knights speak. Finally he finds the point where she and zoycite are alonewith Wylan. Rey has taken the seat by his bed, Wylan is propped up against several pillows, and zoycite remains at the door. But szayel came back and watched so if anything happened. Mayuri looked slightly annoyed at that moment.

"I don't know if you remember me, but I'm usagi. Just usagi, none of that 'Lady usagi business, I maybe a queen but I'm just as normal as you guys" said usagi

"Oh, I remember you. How could I forget such a beautiful face?" said Wylan's

Wylan voice is scratchy and his eyes gleam with a predatory light that makes Kylo's blood boil. He knew it that bastard wanted what was his. He knows his beloved angelic look. But szayel narrowed his eyes as he was watching with keen eyes. He must of sensed something was off. It shows in his golden eyes. And mayuri looked he was ready to kill the wounded knight. Usagi rolled her eyes at his show of flattery.

"Uhm, well, anyway, I visited you yester-" said usagi

"I know, I could hear you. It was very sweet of you." Said Wylan

Kylo despises the slow smile that creeps along Wylan's infuriatingly handsome face. Thatvlityle fucker was playing with fire. But not only with him with szayel and mayuri. And usagi son who woke up. He glared at the knight. Death the kid was a silly, but he was not one to play around when it comes to his mother, it's as if Wylan didn't care at the moment. Usagi sighed and looks away for a moment before shrugging.

"You were honest with me when no one else was. Well other than szayel and the others, It was the least I could do." Said usagi

"Yeah, Kylo's never been so good at that." Said Wylan

"What do you mean?" asked usagi

"He tells the truth when it suits him. He's had everything handed to him and he does what he pleases. He's not like us," explained Wylan

Wylan said conspiratorially as he leans closer to usagi. But szayel had a hand on the on the sword he has but was his sword spirit return sword form. Kylo snarls at his presumption. In the control room, zoycite whimpers as Kylo's rage burns along her synapses. He needs to stay focused, he doesn't want the zoycite to suffer needlessly. It would not do to piss off his beloved anymore than he already has against him

"Like us?" asked usagi

"Orphans." Said Wylan

"I'm not an orphan, just was stolen by luke Skywalker and was forced to be reborn to the worst people." Hisses usagi

"I can tell you grew up alone, well in this life you were forced to live in that is. J st like me. Like calls to like. I spent my childhood on Hask, begging for food. Not like Kylo. He doesn't know what it is to struggle. But I do. I know what it's like to never be full." Said Wylan

Rey looks away uncomfortably. Can't Wylan see how proud usagi is? Szayel was extremely close to usagi. This was out if protection. He was not going to have this little fucker to mess with usagi. Wylan ignored the pink haired Octavia espda. He didn't know how much danger he was in right now. He knew of what szayel was capable of doing, and if you are on the wrong side of him you will be fucked and not in a good way.

"The whole shipknows that Kylo's been making a fool of himself over the girl from Jakku who is a reborn lunarian royal. Can't even keep you without holding you prisoner." Said Wylan

Wylan snorts with scorn at what he had said, but he hated the smirk at usagi the way he was. Szayel was starting to get more angry. As death the kid was there about to kill off the knight. usagi frowns uneasily as if his words was getting to her. Why did Wylan have to bring up his poor handling of usagi? While even in the memory he could feel the bloodlust in the room, it was something he was kinda proud about with them,

"I'm not ... I'm not his prisoner," said usagi

"Really?" asked Wylan

"It's none of your business." Hissed usagi

usagi posture is stiff and Kylo is elated that Wylan is missing all the signs that he's upsetting her. No one knows his usagi like he does. While szayel sat down and took her hand to calm her down. But it seemed that Wylan was not going to give up, it was just going to keep going on, while liz and patty dragged death the kid out of the room. Szayel was more than enough, but the stupid knight thinks he was going to get away with what he was doing. Infront of the protection that usagi has surrendering her at that time.

"If you say so," said Wylan

"Anyway. I'm glad you're awake. I'm sorry you were hurt." Said usagi

"You do know it was your boyfriendwho did this to me, don't you?" asked Wylan

"Yes, I know," said usagi

Kylo cringes at the use of such a juvenile term Wylan has just used infront of his beloved. But he was happy she didn't deny that fact they are together, but he notices that she accepted his claim to the title that she was his. It's wholly inadequate, but it's the first time she's admitted she's his anything. But it seemed szayel golden eyes was sharp with anger he has a feeling mayuri was going to have to have one of his special chats. And those never are fun, it was what he seen when he witnessed one of those,

"You shouldn't trust him. He only cares about himself," saud Wylan

"I don't think that's true," said usagi

usagi says carefully as if she was talking to a child, but then again it was kinda funny to watch that, but it was not the time to find amusement in that. But she sees good, because it isn't true. Kylo cares far more about usagi than he's ever cared about himself. But he continued on with what he needed to know. Szayel was not taking none of this well. He wanted to kill the knight, but he sees usagi saw the crystal in Wylan chest and his star seed.

"Oh yeah? I've known him for almost 20 years. He's a spoiled little princeling who's never had to work for anything. He's always been like that. He has no idea what it is to suffer. Not like we do." Said Wylan

"You don't know anything about my life or any of my lives, and I don't think you know anything about Kylo. I ... I should go." Said usagi

"Stay a little while. Yesterday you held my hand." Pleaded Wylan

There's something suggestive in his tone that makes Kylo want to pull from zoycite mind and drag Wylan from his bed, finish what he'd started. Then Wylan has the audacity to wink at his beloved. Zzoycite winces in pain and Kylo realizes his fury has caused him to hurt her again. He feels a flare of shame that he ignores as he keeps watching the memory. usagi shakes her head and draws back from him. But he could see szayel was about to pull her behind him, it would do no good for anyone if usagi power flaired. It would make kylo stunt look like child's play.

"I was just being nice." Said usagi

"I could be niceto you. Much nicer than Kylo." Said Wylan

Wylan positively leers at usagi and Kylo knows that one way or another, Wylan willanswer for this.

He reaches for her hand and Kylo fiercely reminds himself that this is a memory. Whatever happens next has already happened. Zoycite moans in agony as Kylo's possessive jealousy continues to stab into her mind, but it's impossible for Kylo to stop now. usagi leaps from her seat and backs away quickly. As she was going to fight him, szayel was ready as well.

"Don't touch me! You shouldn't talk to me like that." Hissed usagi

"You don't have to be afraid of him." said Wylan

"I'm not afraid of him!" snapped usagi

"Really. I was there when he caught you. I remember how you ran. How he handled you" said Wylan

"You don't know what you're talking about. We're leaving. Come on, zoycite, szayel I'll be fine calm down you know I can handle myself." Said usagi

Usagi flounces to the door, about to leave. But szayel smirked oh he knew she is able to take care of herself. Oh how many times she destroyed and maimed in war, she as evil if she needed to be. But she is a kind soul. But never double cross her it will be your end, if lucky to get another chance hence zoycite. Wylan looks at the stormtrooper who is a reincarnation of zoycite. Who by the door, clearly never having taken notice of her presence. Along with szayel.

" he makes you have a keeper?" asked Wylan

"She's my friend. She's with me because I wants her here. And szayel is my son in law and trusted friend and comrade.. Kylo lets her off her duties to spend the afternoons with me," said usagi

"He assignedyou a friend?" asked Wylan

"No, I just toldyou, he knows she's my friend so he made sure I could spend time with her! He was being thoughtful. Plus she was my friend before this life she lives. She once was a fierce silver knight for my kingdom. " hissed usagi

"Sure, because Kylo's such nice guy," said Wylan

"He's nice to me! And everyone who is close to me." Hissed usagi

usagi hands are on her hips and Kylo is rather enjoying watching someone else run up against her temper. While szayel sat back and watched the show. He was even eating something. Wylan has no idea what he was up against. But kylo was going to continue to watch usagi castrate this basted who he hates. Zoycite snickered she knew the asshole crossed the line, and if he keeps going he was going to be back in a coma but wake up no longer a man.

"He just wants to bed you. If that's what you're looking for, I'd take muchbetter care of you than Kylo." Said Wylan

Zoycite face twists in pain and Kylo realizes he's again made her suffer from his inability to keep his anger from bleeding into her mind. He should remove himself, but he mustknow how this ended. He has to what she does next, it seemed more came to view usagi about to kill a man. Hux even minako. Hikaru and karou and some of the others. They were cheering her on, but neither of them was noticing it. Wylan is crossing a line that he never did with her. And he might not be man for much longer.

"You're disgusting pig. If you dare think I will touch you keep dreaming, Kylo was right about you," hissed usagi

Usagi stomps out of the room as everyone groaned and left to go and do what they were doing. While szayel and zoycite hurries to keep up. They were going to see if she was ok. Minako had to go and finish her job as did everyone else, but szayel needed to let everyone know that she was going to be ok, usagi was very pissed off and angry, but szayel stopped her and hugged her to him before she destroyed something.

"Ugh! I never should have gone back!" hissed usagi

"Are you alright?" asked kylo

"No! I can't believe that man. He knows that I'm ... involvedwith Kylo, his boss, and, and, well, you saw. Well you all saw," hissed usagi

usagi flings her hands in the air. She was spitting angry. While szayel sighed and knew she was not happy. Mayuri is going to give him one of his special talks tonight. And after he was done he was going to give the szayel special talk, usagi arched a brow and nodded to him as if she was knowing what was on their minds right now. usagi gorgeous when she's angry at someone other than him. And that made him happy,

"But, I thought you aren't talking to the Supreme Leader?" asked zoycite

"Please, pleasecall him Kylo. This whole thing is weird enough without having to be reminded he's the Supreme Leader." Grumbled usagi

"Okay. You aren't talking to ... him," asked zoycite

Zoycite says as they continue to rush down the corridor, usagi anger causing her to keep a brisk pace. All you could hear was screams of pain, so mayuri started early, usagi smirked it was a good one that mayuri was giving this time, as szayel rushed back to help out, usagi smiled he does love his work. But it seems that she was still very pissed off at the whole thing,

"That doesn't mean we aren't ... whatever the hell we are." Said usagi

"And what is that?" asked zoycite

"I don't know! But I do know that if I told Kylo what Wylan just pulled he'd find himself Force pushed out of an airlock! But it seemed that mayuri is doing a good one this time, " said usagi

What a marvelous idea his beloved has had. Maybe he might be able to keep that thought in his mind for later usage. They reach usagi quarters and usagi is still was angry. As she went into her training room as she exploded and all sorts of powers was all over the place, huh that's his age trains,. Once she was done she started to pace back and forth in her sitting room and zoycite removes her helmet.

"Maybe some tea would make you feel better?" asked zoycite

"Tea is not going to fix this." Grumbled usagi

"Why are you so upset?" asked zoycite

usagi stops her frantic pacing and sprawls in a chair. She clearly was to pissed off that she forgot that she had a dress on, but right now he didn't mind. But he was happy to know that zoycite was only with her. Usagi sighed and was wondering what she needed to do. He could see how fiercely loyal zoycite is. But right now he needed to hear the rest of this. He needed to know more of what she wanted to say.

"Kylo nearly destroyed the ship because I visited Wylan yesterday. I went back today because, well, I wanted to prove that I could, that he didn't get to decide what I do. I completelyignored him when he told me what kind of person Wylan is because … well, honestly, it sounded like he was describing who I used to think Kylo was. His judgement isn't the best sometimes. Most of the time. But I guess he was right about Wylan." Said usagi

"I'm sorry usagi. You always was very kind. Even though I don't deserve it after endymion got into my head., but beside that i still don't understand." Said zoycite

"I feel guilty. I guess … I guess I wanted to get back at Kylo for treating me the way that he has, trying to control me. I thought … I thought he was telling me who I could be friends with on top of everything else. But he was right. I mean, I know I didn't do anything wrongby going to see Wylan, but now it just feels … stupid. But szayel and mayuri are having fun with him right now." Said usagi

"Usagi my queen … may I ask you something?" asked zoycite

"Kylo?" asked usagi

"Yes." Said zoycite

"I may not answer, but yes, go ahead and ask." Said usagi

"Why aren't you talking to him? These quarters, all those beautiful clothes, he spent monthscreating this for you. It's all the ship would talk about, the Supreme Leader's special project. He was meticulous, he oversaw everything himself. It had to be perfect. He had the best of absolutely everything brought in for you. We couldn't figure out what was going on, exactly, but it was obvious that it was almost more important to him than even the First Order. But it seems like you don't … care." Said zoycite

Rey sighs and looks around her rooms. She reaches out and runs her hands along the fronds of a nearby fern. As the plant came to life under the hand of the lunarian queen. Zoycite sighed as if she was ashamed to ask things such as this, but right now she was confused by her queen and friends behavior. Kylo needed to know more, usagi smiled as she ran her hand over her most prized treasure her locket that held the silver crystal in it, the crystal that is connected to her very soul, and now to kylo since it connected to its king.

"I do care. I know he tried to imagine everything I could want. He ... he knows me better than I know myself and at the same time, knows nothing about me at all. There's so much more going on; things I can't talk about. I'm not seeing him right now because of choices he's made and that's all I can really say." Said usagi

"But, he loves you ..." said zoycite

"Why do you think that?" asked usagi

"He would have to. I mean, wouldn't he? It's all so romantic. Plus I was filled in by the others he is meant to be the future king of the silver kingdom. But It's like a holofilm. He searched and searched for you! He rescued you from the Resistance! They nearly killed you my queen. And still wants to. He put aside everything to find you. Some even say he killed Supreme Leader Snoke because he threatened you. Well and he was endymion father in which shocked me. Why would he do that if he didn't love you?" asked

"Because you weren't wrong before. I think ... I think he does love me in his own way. I didn't want to believe it at first, couldn't ... but he does. He certainly thinks he does. As much as he's able to, he loves me." Said usagi

usagi believes him? He wishes she hadn't qualified his feelings, but maybe she really is going to let him love her. He ignores the tears coursing down zoycite cheeks. But he needed to know this. Then he has to make sure that zoycite don't remember any of this, he kinda didn't want to ruin her rise back to her title of silver knight, but he was so damned desperate to know everything. And this is like his water source to drink from her mind and gain the information he wanted and needed to see. to help him through this.

"And how do you feel about him?" asked zoycite

the memory version of zoycite asks as if she was curious. He focuses intensely; this prize may almost be worth his deplorable behavior. She's said she cares for him, but whatever she revealed to her friend is bound to be her true feelings. He swallowed hard and wondered what he was going to find out, but he waited for that part of the memories to come forth. But still hated Wylan for his stupid act he pulled.

"I'm very angry with him at first yes and put him in the dog house for what he did, But ... I also care about him, far more than I should. I've never felt anything close to how he makes me feel. Not even with my ex husbands. Sure I loved them but this is different. The way he looks at me, it's like I'm everything to him. He's so intense, it's terrifying and wonderful at the same time. And a huge turn on. I didn't know I could feel so wanted … so precious. When he touches me …" said usagi

"Go on," said zoycite

"I … oh zoycite you known me for to long and know he well, he's overwhelming. I can't thinkwhen he kisses me. I never want him to stop, I think ... I think if things were different ... I think … I think I could love him," said usagi

kylo heart stutters. Could she? Could she really? He'd never let himself hope. But now he was hoping for more. He heard his beloved say what he wanted. But he needed to know more. But it seemed zoycite was happy to hear on what her friend and queen had said, but he knew he needed to finish this soon, but he needed more and more, and this is where he knows to get it. Most of all he didn't dare to do this to the others they would kill him right there.

"I don't know what to do!" said usagi

"I don't understand." Said zoycite

"That's what he always says, I don'tknowwhattodo. Then he does something stupid." Said usagi

"The S-he has to do difficult things. We all do. But it will be over soon. You should be proud of him for being willing to do what needs to be done," said zoycite

I ... I don't really see it that way. I know that awful things have to be done in war. Believe me I have been in countless of them since we last saw each other zoycite.." usagi

They go in usagi bedroom and Kylo realizes they won't be speaking of him any longer. He removes himself from zoycite consciousness. Zoycite blinks at him and then her face crumples and she starts to weep. Kylo looks at the crying zoycite … the crying woman, and he tries to push away the guilt but he can't. What has he done? He should feel elated with this new knowledge, that usagi thinks she could love him, but it was bought at such is usagi friend a former knight, and he's hurt her. Worse than that, he forced her to break usagi trust. He'd broken her trust in both of them. She'd said she didn't think he'd invade the zoycite mind. But he did. And for what? Usagi hadn't done anything wrong; she'd rebuffed Wylan's advances.

He should have trusted her. She'd told him she wouldn't seek another man she'd toldhim. But he hadn't listened. Again. She'd begged him to control himself and how has he behaved? He'd proven her doubt right. zoycite is shaking. He never should have done this. He'd told usagi he would control himself but instead he'd lost all perspective. He watches the broken woman before him and he's disgusted with himself.

"zoycite , No, you don't need to be afraid of me. I won't take your memories, not again." Said kylo

"She trusted me. You made me betray her! My queen and friend!" cried zoycite

Kylo sighed waves his hand across zoycite face and lowers her unconscious form into a chair. He needed to make this the last time he did this. He will change zoycite memory and he won't do this again. He will trust his beloved usagi. He should have always trusted usagi in the first in the first place. As he left zoycite where she was at.

To be continued