(A/N: Ugh, I'm sorry for the delay. I got super busy these past few weeks. Hope you all got your tissues and ice cream ready, because this is going to be a tough one. Title/Song for this chapter is "Fix You" by Coldplay. Listen. Read. Review. Enjoy!)
Caroline's POV:
I never thought that Elena would be out of the hospital before me, but here we are on her last day, preparing to say goodbyes. After talking it over with her this past week, (yes, actually talking), she was able to tell me how the threat of Matt leaving for good got her to finally open up and cope with the loss of her parents, and in so doing, encouraged her to speak again.
I also managed to make an apology of sorts for blowing up at her the way that I did. It went something like, 'I'm sorry I was so mean to you, but it's not my fault you were acting so selfish.'
Not my finest act of contrition, but luckily, she was understanding enough to accept it and share how she was really feeling at the time she was self-mutilating. I see now how she was grasping onto straws for something, anything, to change in her life.
Of course, I had to tell her about Klaus. That girl has never been more excited for me to spill some gossip, and I spilled everything. All she could say the whole time was, "That's so hot", which she is not wrong about.
Since it's her final day, I decided to help her pack up her room. I also wanted as much alone time as I could get before Matt came to pick her up. However, everything was already packed by the time I got there so I didn't end up being much help.
"Don't worry about it," she says, falling back onto her mattress, "I managed to fit all my stuff into that one bag anyways."
My eyes glance over to the small backpack waiting by the doorway.
"It's weird seeing this room so empty," I note, taking in the barren walls that were once covered in pictures and posters.
"Yeah, I ended up throwing out most of it too. It's amazing how much stuff in here you realize you don't need."
I decide to do one final check in her dresser to make sure everything is clear. All that's left are her white scrubs.
"Well you've got the whole world to look forward to now. You sure you don't need to take these with you?" I tease, playfully throwing one of the scrub shirts at her.
"Ew, yes I'm sure," she says, throwing it back at me.
I smile and stuff the shirt back in the drawer. Right now, she's wearing black pants and a grey zip up hoodie, ready to soon be discharged from the hospital. She'll never have to wear another set of these white scrubs in her life.
I sigh and collapse backward onto the bed next to her, "Who would have thought, you'd be out of here before me?"
We're both quiet for a moment, not sure what to say, and then she takes my hand.
"You know you're my best friend, Care," she says, breaking the silence, "You helped brighten my worst days. That's why everyone in here gravitates toward you, you're a light in this dark place. Hold onto that light, it's what's going to get you out of here."
A knock comes from outside her room and we both look up to see who it is: Matt. She excitedly pushes herself off the bed and darts across the room, flinging her arms around him. His smile is ecstatic as he hugs her back. They're both so happy.
"You ready?" he asks, letting her go and picking up her bag for her.
"One sec," she says, and turns back to me.
I stand up and walk over to her. She pulls me into a tight embrace and I suddenly become overwhelmed with emotion.
"Is this really happening?" I ask in disbelief, water beginning to flood my eyes.
"Hey," she says, pulling away to look at me, "I'll come and visit, I promise. I'm not giving up on you."
"You're so lucky, you get to have froyo," I say, half laughing through my tears.
She laughs back, tears also beginning to trickle from her eyes.
"When you get out of here, and it's going to be soon, we're gonna have froyo and go shopping and see movies," she says, wiping my wet face with her sleeve, "We'll learn how to drive and even go back to school to finish our education together. We'll finally get to live like normal people."
I nod my head in response, "Promise?"
She turns around back to Matt and pulls out her white board slab from her bag. She takes out a sharpie marker and scribbles something down on it.
When she's finished, she holds it out to me:
I promise.
She hands me the white board and pulls me in for one last hug before turning around and walking with Matt down the hallway and out of the building.
Klaus's POV:
"Everything you need is in here," I tell Elijah, setting down the latest detailings of Caroline's progress on his desk.
I decided to meet with him in private about my findings to make this as quick as possible.
"Klaus-," he says, picking up the notebook.
"Wide open spaces will help her focus in on reality," I interject, giving him a brief summary, "As proof from when she ran outside during the blackout."
"Klaus-," he repeats.
I interject again, "Now, pills are bad. Don't give her anymore pills. Pills made her remember her father, so she already has a terrible association with them. My theory is that going off medication will help her get bet-"
"Klaus," he says, firmer this time, "Just hold on a moment."
"What?" I ask, not wanting to waste any more time.
He pauses and takes a deep sigh, "As your brother I need to ask you: Are you sure this is what you want to do?"
"Yes," I reply quickly, not wanting to give myself time to reconsider, "This is what's best for Caroline."
He stares for a moment, seemingly unsure about my answer, then nods his head, "Well then, thank you. Thank you for everything."
"You're welcome," I reply sincerely.
I know what I have to do next, and I'm absolutely dreading it…
With no surprise, the following week went by in a flash. Elijah has been carefully acting on the notes that I left for him regarding Caroline. Every day, she spends most of her time outside in the fenced off grass area, which is where I'm heading now to meet her.
I spot her on the far-left end of the field, sitting up against the fence and looking up beyond the treetops. She's so peaceful. I hesitate for a moment, considering if I should disrupt her, until she looks at me from across the way and smiles. I smile back and put that thought to rest, slowly walking over to her. I want to take my time with appreciating the moment while it's still good.
"Hey," I say, sliding down next to her.
"Hey," she says curiously, "Why aren't you in your scrubs?"
Her tone is not her normal chipper self. I know she can tell something is wrong. I look down at my casual blue jeans and navy-blue sweatshirt, unable to make eye contact with her, and then look ahead at everyone else out in the field. Most are inpatients, either sitting or standing still with blank stares on their face, unmoving and unchanging. A few others are with their attending nurses or doctors as they play catch with a baseball or participate in other forms of exercise. One inpatient, I think Anna, is trying to coax a bird or a squirrel on the either side of the fence to come in and join her.
Then there's Lexi, staring from across the distance and eyeing us curiously, waiting for the first sign of destruction.
Time to rip off the band aid.
"I quit last week.," I say finally.
"What?" she asks, disbelievingly.
"Yesterday was my last day."
I glance over to see her face, which is now hidden behind long strands of blonde hair from the cold brush of wind that just passed. She doesn't bother with wiping them back though, and instead clutches onto the front of the thin robe she's wearing, closing it up tight to her neck.
"Careful what you do next," I warn, "Lexi is watching."
"Wow," she says, bewildered, and pushes the hair back off of her face, "You're really bad at goodbyes, you know that, Klaus?"
I rub my palms over my face, in disgust with myself. What am I doing?
"Then again," she reflects, "There really is no good way of saying goodbye in this situation, is there?"
I shake my head in agreement, "No, there isn't."
She takes in a deep breath and sighs.
"Besides this, how are you doing?" I ask, uncovering my face to look back at her.
"I'm in repair," she says calmly, "Not quite together, but I'm getting there."
A teardrop trickles down her face, and it takes everything in me to not pull her in and hold her close. Instead, I try again with words.
"Caroline, you need to get better. Because I need to be with you."
The water really builds in her eyes at this point as one teardrop falls after another.
"But not like this," she says, voice cracking.
"No, not like this," I repeat.
"When will I see you again?"
"I don't know," I answer honestly.
She hugs her knees close to her chest and rests her head on them, continuing to cry. I look over to Lexi again, who has now started to move in closer. I giant pang hits me in the chest and I suddenly feel like throwing up.
"Do you have any idea how much it hurts, to be sitting here right now, and not even be able to touch you?"
"Yes, I do," she answers, voice muffled by her body.
She looks up for a moment and sees Lexi coming toward us. We're running out of time.
"You love me?" she asks, head forward with eyes still fixated on Lexi.
"You know I do," I answer, doing the same.
Lexi is almost here. I stand myself up and prepare for an exit.
"You understand why I have to go, don't you?" I ask, looking at her one final time.
Still sobbing, she unwillingly nods her head and looks up at me, "Yeah, I know."
I hold her gaze for a moment, knowing that a second is all that I have.
"Goodbye, Caroline."
I try to not let my face show emotion as I walk away, passing Lexi who is now moving quickly toward Caroline to, undoubtedly, console her.
I'm about to lose it at any second. I know I'll be in the clear if I can just make it to my car. I am somehow able to pass through the lobby without giving myself away and push the door open to the parking lot when I accidentally bump into Stefan, who is just coming in.
"Hey, man! Wasn't your last day yesterday?" He asks lightly.
I don't make it.
"Whoa, you okay?" he asks, clearly noticing what I'm sure is a pained look on my face.
My forehead throbs as I try to force everything back down. I don't say anything and push my way past him. At least if anyone is going to see me like this, it's good that it's only him. Still, this is not something I'm ready to talk about.
I fumble with my keys as I go to open my car door and slide inside, finally letting myself go. I peel out of the parking lot quickly, not allowing anyone else to see the mess I am, and drive home.
(A/N: Two goodbyes in one chapter, holy moly. Sorry again if that felt rushed, but this story is almost done! One chapter left…)