Chapter 21

Songs:

Never Let Me Go, Florence + The Machine
Black Hole In Your Heart, Theory of a Deadman
These Times, SafetySuit

**Link to YouTube playlist in chapter 1.

**Fiddling was had, and changes were made. All mistakes are mine.

**DOMC - Devil's Outcasts Motorcycle Club

Bella

I wake with my head lying on Edward's chest, cocooned in the warmth of his arms. The beating of his heart, slow and steady, thumps beneath my ear, and the sound is soothing ... comforting. I may still feel mixed up about where we stand and how everyone else may feel about us being together, but the steadiness of his heart reminds me of what is important.

He loves me, and I love him. Everything else is bullshit.

He shifts, his arms tightening around me, and I notice the change in his breathing.

"You awake?" he asks, his voice rough with sleep.

"Yeah," I whisper, raising my head and looking up at him.

He exhales, the heavy breath coming out as a deep hum.

"How is your arm?"

His lashes flutter, his deep green eyes meeting mine. "Sore, but it's okay."

I inspect it, my fingers tracing along the edge of the gauze. "It's not bleeding anymore. I don't think you need stitches."

"Nah, it'll be fine. Another dose of Ibuprofen and I'll be good as new." He turns more to his side and pulls me closer. "But having you here is probably the best medicine," he says with a grin.

I smile shyly in return. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah." He kisses me, his lips gentle and chaste. "The very best."

I snuggle closer, tucking my head under his chin. "Do you have to go to the clubhouse today?"

He turns his head, looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand, and then he settles back into position. "Not until tonight. Everybody was going home to rest for the day. We'll meet up later." His hand travels slowly down my back, finally coming to rest on my ass, pulling me against him. "There's no way anything is pulling me from this bed until I'm damn good and ready to leave it."

I pull away and look up at him, smiling. "Are you keeping me prisoner now?" I mean it to be lighthearted, but his smile falls.

"I'd never ask you to be anywhere you don't want to be, Bella."

"Hey," I say, moving my hand to cup his cheek, "there's nowhere else I want to be right now."

When our lips meet this time, it's a bit less chaste, and when I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to tangle with mine, it takes very little time for things to heat up. I'm soon turned onto my back and surrounded by him. His hands roam, rediscovering places he'd explored before—so long ago that I'd forgotten. But my body remembers. When I open my legs without hesitation, he settles between them. We move as one, lazy and slow, and when we reach our peaks at the same time, an unexpected feeling settles in my gut.

Even though we've been living parallel lives for the last ten years, circling each other's orbits while traveling our own bumpy paths, I finally feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

"Sit," he says, guiding me toward the kitchen table.

I sit, my ass thumping down on the wooden chair. "Wh—"

"I'm making you dinner." He walks over to the fridge, opening it to assess its contents.

"I'm perfectly capable of making myself something to eat, you know?"

"I realize that," he says as he reaches for something inside. "But when is the last time someone did something for you?"

My mouth snaps shut. I want to argue, to tell him I can fend for myself. Because it's what I've always done. But I can't think of the last time someone went out of their way to do something just for me.

I clear my throat. "I don't know," I finally say. He eyes me over the top of the refrigerator door with a raised brow. "That would be really nice. Thank you."

He nods and gathers an armful of things from the fridge before placing them on the counter. He grabs bowls from cabinets and utensils from drawers and gets to work.

Cracking eggs into a bowl, he turns to me. "You still like mushrooms and spinach?"

"I do," I say with a smile, folding my arm on the tabletop and resting my chin on my raised palm. I eye the ingredients lining his counter and I'm curious. "So, what kind of delicacy are you making for us?"

"Since I haven't been to the grocery in a few days, I don't have too many options. But I think I can whip up a simple frittata." He looks over his shoulder and winks at me.

I grin and shake my head, leaning back in the chair. "Only you would think that's simple."

Watching him work in his kitchen is something I've never seen him do. My past visits to his house have been limited to quick stops or family functions, so I've never really seen him this comfortable in his own space. He moves around the room with confidence, whisking, chopping, and sautéing, and it's mesmerizing. After he puts the final dollops of ricotta on top of his masterpiece, he slides it into the oven.

He finally turns to me, wiping his hands on a dish towel. "I think I have a bottle of wine that might be good with this."

"Since when are you a wine drinker?"

"Since someone gave me a bottle as a housewarming gift when I moved in here," he says with a smirk. "And I'll never drink it on my own. You want a glass?"

I bite my lip, considering.

"Come on, Bella. One glass."

I nod in acquiescence. "Okay. One glass."

Two glasses later, the skillet is nearly empty, and we're both grinning and laughing as we talk about the last call from the boys.

"I'm pretty sure Seth is a bad influence on Sam. My boy is going to corrupt yours if we're not careful," Edward says as he picks up our dirty plates and takes them to the dishwasher. "There's no other way Sam would have thought it was okay to say that word. I'm really sorry, babe."

"No, it's okay. I think if Sam could adopt Seth as a brother he would," I say, giggling over their latest shenanigans. "Besides, he hears it from me, I'm sure. And he heard worse from Mase—"

The words die on my tongue. Even thinking about my dead husband while I'm dressed in his brother's oversized t-shirt and boxers and sitting in his kitchen feels strange. Not so much like a betrayal, but it does give me pause. We're in uncharted waters, and I'm not so sure yet that I can swim. I look up into Edward's concerned eyes.

"You okay?" he asks as he walks back to the table, his voice low, cautious.

I nod, still unable to form my thoughts into words.

He pulls his chair closer to mine and sits, taking my hand into his. "We should talk about all this stuff. I know you're having doubts."

"I'm not—"

"Bella," he says softly. "Don't lie to me. Please."

"I'm just ..." I sigh, unsure about how to express what I'm feeling.

"Tell me.

I swallow past the tingle in my throat and look up at him. "Aren't you worried about what everyone else is going to say? What they're going to think?"

He shakes his head. "No, not at all. We're adults, and if they have a problem with us being together, fuck them. No one else has any say in how we live our lives."

"But—"

"No buts. Do you love me?"

"You know I do."

"Then that's all I need to know."

"But sometimes love isn't enough," I whisper, my eyes pricking with tears as I recall the last few years of my life.

"Then let me ask you this. Are you feeling like you're being disloyal to Masen?"

"What? No. Why would you ask me that?" I lean back, trying to pull my hand from his, but he holds tightly to it.

"Because I need to know where your head is. I need to know if you regret what happened this morning."

"Of course I don't regret it."

"Then none of the other shit matters. If the only thing weighing you down is worrying about what other people are going to think, then there's no problem. The only thing that would be a problem is if you weren't really in this with me, Bella. Everything else is bullshit."

"Bullshit," I say with a small smile, recalling my exact thoughts earlier.

He grins in return. "Absolutely."

"Even if some of that bullshit is from your mother?"

He sighs and sits back in his chair. He tugs on my hand until I rise from my seat and settle into his lap. He nuzzles my neck, kissing the skin there. "If my mother has a single word to say about us being together, she can shove it up her ass," he whispers in my ear.

I burst into laughter, making him chuckle, too. When the giggles have finally calmed, I rest my head on his shoulder. "I wish it was that simple."

He tilts my chin up so I'm facing him. "It is that simple, Bella. I let her and Charlie dictate my life last time, let them to tell me what to do. Well, I'm not a kid anymore—neither of us is—and I'm not going to let anyone come between us again." His eyes search mine. "I promise you."

I nod, closing my eyes and resting my forehead to his. We sit like that for several moments before I place a kiss on his lips and snuggle back into his arms.

"There's something else we should probably talk about," he says against the top of my head.

"What?"

"The boys."

"Oh," I say softly.

"Yeah. We need to decide what we want to tell them, especially if you're staying with me."

"Do you think I'll still be staying here when they come home?" I ask, the unspoken question being if Caius will still be a threat.

He pulls back and I look up at him. "I'd like to say you'll be safe, that you can go home. But I can't say I want you to leave any time soon." His voice lowers, the timbre changing to one of desire. "I like having you in my bed. If I had it my way, I'd move you and Sam in here tomorrow."

"One thing at a time, okay?"

He grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "That's not a no."

I smile and lay my head back on his shoulder. "As far as the boys are concerned ..." I sigh. "I don't know. I'm not sure Sam would understand. He just lost his father, and I'm worried us being together will only confuse him."

"Bella," he says, cupping my cheek, urging me to look up, "I'm never going to replace Mase as Sam's father. No one will. I'm his uncle. I'll always be his uncle. It's my job to look out for him, to make sure he's safe and taken care of. And not just because it's what my brother asked me to do, but because I love that little boy as much as I love my own." He searches my eyes. "You two have always been family. But if I have anything to say about it, you and Sam will be my family."

"You really slept on the couch while I was gone?" Edward asks as he settles onto the sofa to watch a movie.

I shrug a shoulder as I sit beside him. "It didn't feel right to sleep in your bed."

He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me to him. "You won't be sleeping on the couch anymore while you're here, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Good." He kisses my temple before reaching for the remote, turning on the TV. He switches on Netflix and scrolls through the choices. "Now, what are we watching? Tell me when something looks good."

We agree on a classic, The Matrix, and settle into the cushions. It doesn't take long for innocent touches to turn not so innocent, and before Neo decides to swallow the red pill Morpheus offers him, Edward has me laid out on my back with his hand up my shirt.

We make out like the teenagers we used to be, taking our time. Clothes are slowly shed, skin is exposed, and when we can no longer stand the anticipation, we come together under the flickering light of the TV.

"You going to be okay here tonight by yourself?" he asks as he shoves his keys in his pocket.

"Do you think you'll be gone all night?"

"Possibly. Pop wanted to regroup before tomorrow so we'd have a plan going forward, and I have no idea how long it'll take. If people don't show up for a while it could take most of the night."

I nod, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'll be fine."

"And I already sent Buzz a message. He should be here by now, so you don't have to worry about being left unprotected."

I smile up at him as he steps closer. "Thank you," I whisper as he brings his lips to mine.

His kiss is soft, and as he pulls away, he cups my cheek. "Don't thank me. It's my job to watch out for you."

I clear my throat and take a half step back. "So, I'll see you in the morning?"

"For a little while. I'll need to get back to work at some point, even if it's just for appearances' sake."

"Okay."

"And if you need me for anything, you can call me. If I don't answer right away, it's not because I don't want to answer, it's—"

"I get it. You've got church, and I know you can't take calls."

"But I'm still just a call away. Even if I have to call you back."

I nod, watching him reach for his cut hanging by the door. "I think I'm going to go into work for a few hours tomorrow," I say, waiting for his reaction, and he doesn't disappoint.

His jaw clenches, and his eyes narrow. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Like you said, we need to get back to normal, even if it's just for appearances."

He sighs, pulling on the leather. "No, you're right. Just ..." He pauses, looking like he wants to protest, but I can see in his eyes when he relents. "Just call me if you decide to go in, please? I want to make sure Buzz is on point if I'm not back here to follow you over to the studio."

"What are the chances someone can bring my car to me?"

"Shit. I forgot about that. Here." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ring of keys, placing them in my open palm. "Take the Nova. I haven't had a chance to get your heap over here yet."

"Hey, don't hate on the Honda. That heap has gotten me where I've needed for a long time."

"And it's become the biggest money pit we've had in and out of the shop in the last few years. But we can talk about finding you more reliable transportation another day." His cellphone chimes from his pocket, and he pulls me in for another kiss. "I will see you tonight or in the morning."

His kiss is quick but powerful, making me weak in the knees, and it's over far too soon.

"Remember," he says, opening the front door, "call me if you need anything." He looks outside, spotting a familiar club member parked outside. He turns back to me. "And Buzz is already here, so I guess you could ask him, too."

I watch him go, finally closing and locking the door when he disappears down the street. And when I finally crawl into his bed, inhaling the scent that surrounds me, I fall into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of a future with the man who is slowly bringing my heart back to life.

I'm disoriented when I wake, unsure what disturbed my sleep. The sunlight is muted by the heavy curtains but still streaming thorough the gaps between the fabric. With a bleary-eyed glance at the clock, I see it's late morning.

A bang echoes down the hallway from the kitchen, and I'm on high alert, my pulse beginning to race. Squeezing my eyes closed, I will my heart rate to slow, and I try to take deep, even breaths. I push away the covers and quietly get out of bed.

Still dressed in only Edward's DOMC t-shirt and a pair of his boxers, I reach for the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out the Glock he has hidden there. It's a larger gun than I'm used to, and the weight of it is heavy in my hand. I send Edward a text, gnawing on the edge of my thumb and bouncing my knee as I sit perched on the edge of the bed. Minutes pass, and when the sounds coming from the kitchen don't get any louder, I make the decision to find out who is in the house.

I open the door slowly and step lightly down the hallway, careful not to make a sound. As I get closer to the kitchen, the opening and closing of cabinet doors can be heard.

I peek out from the corner of the hallway, careful to stay out of sight. Esme is reaching into an overhead cabinet, putting away groceries, and she looks perfectly at home. When she lowers herself back down and turns to grab the next item from the grocery bag, I must not be hidden well enough. She shrieks in surprise, dropping the can of beans to the floor and bringing her hand to her chest.

"Jesus, Bella! You scared the shit out of me." She picks up the can and turns back to the groceries.

As discreetly as possible, I place the gun on a bookshelf as I pass by, stepping into the light of the kitchen.

"Sorry, but you scared the shit out of me when I heard you banging around in here."

As if my presence only now registers with her, she pauses, a box of macaroni and cheese in hand, and turns back to me. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"I was invited," I say simply, not at all ready to tell her what prompted my stay here.

She looks me up and down, her eyes lingering on the shirt that hangs on my small her gaze meets mine, a fire I haven't seen in a very long time blazes back at me. "I can see that."

"What are you doing here?"

"I know my son has been busy lately, and he probably hasn't had time to shop. I wanted to make sure he was taken care of."

"We both know he can take care of himself."

She turns to fully face me, leaning against the counter and folding her arms across her chest. She raises a brow. "I think he still needs someone watching out for him. Someone who has his best interests at heart."

I chuckle, but I'm not at all amused with her show of passive aggressive bullshit. "Spit it out, Esme. I know there's something you want to say to me."

"I don't want you to get too attached to my son."

I lift my chin and straighten my back as I meet her steely gaze. "What your son does and with whom he does it are absolutely none of your fucking business." My pulse picks up when she stares back, her expression completely blank; I have no idea what she's thinking.

"You know," she finally says, "you really should have taken the opportunity you were given when you buried your husband."

"Opportunity? Do you hear yourself right now? What kind of twisted individual sees the death of a spouse as an opportunity?"

She ignores my statement and pushes on. "You were given the opportunity to pick up and move away from here, start the new life you should have started ten years ago when you broke my son's heart."

"Are you serious, Esme? I had zero control over what happened back then. You and Charlie decided—"

"We only wanted what was best for our children, Bella. I'm sure as a mother you understand that, don't you?"

"I understand that I would never do anything to jeopardize my son's happiness. It's one of the reasons I chose to stay after Mase died. Everything he knows is here. Everyone he loves is in this shitty town. I'm not about to rip him away from everything he loves just so I can start over somewhere new."

"So, you admit you would leave if you didn't have Sam?"

"What? No." I shake my head. "Stop twisting my words. I'm not going anywhere. You weren't enough to run me off ten years ago, and you're not going to do that now." My heartbeat thunders in my ears. "What I've never understood is why you hate me so much."

She takes measured steps toward me, and I take a few away from her, backing myself against the wall.

"Oh, Bella, I don't hate you. I've never hated you. I just don't like you. You should have left town when you had the chance all those years ago. I wanted you to leave, your father wanted you to leave. But instead of getting out of town after graduation, you chose to stay here and torment Edward by moving in with his brother."

She's so close I can see her nostrils flaring and the vein in her neck pulsing. "I don't want you with my son, Bella. You bring nothing but trouble and heartache with you, and I won't watch you hurt Edward again."

"I'm not going to hurt him," I say with every ounce of conviction I have. "And I'm not the one who hurt him the first time." I narrow my eyes at her. "That was all you and Charlie."

Her own eyes narrow, and she opens her mouth. But before any more hateful words can spew from it, the front door bangs open.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Edward says, looking frazzled as he walks into the room.

Esme steps away from me and smiles at her son, straightening her shirt. "I was just bringing some groceries over." She turns back to the bags on the counter and pulls out a few more items. "I know you've been gone and probably hadn't had a chance to get to the store."

Edward steps to my side and kisses my temple when Esme has her back to us. "You okay?" he whispers. "Buzz called me. I got here as fast as I could."

I nod but don't say anything, watching Esme morph into her usual, perfect-mother persona.

"Why are you here, Mom?"

She turns back to us with her wide, fake smile still in place. "I told you. I brought groceries. And by the looks of your fridge, not a moment too soon." She busies herself by straightening the canned goods in the cabinet.

"You should have called first," he says, gaining her attention.

She turns to face us, leaning back on the counter. "Since when do I need to ask for permission to come into my son's house?"

"Since now." He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "Things are changing, so you'll have to give me a call before you come over from now on." His laser sharp gaze never leaves his mother, and the tension in the room is so thick, I'm having a difficult time taking a breath.

"I see," she finally says.

"Good." They stay locked in a silent standoff, and I begin to feel uncomfortable. But after a few moments, Edward cocks his head and furrows his brow. "Aren't you and Ali supposed to be in Tahoe?"

"We took the red-eye home and got in this morning. I got tired of waiting for your father to give me permission to come home." The word permission is spat like a dirty word. "There's only so much shopping with your sister I can handle."

"Yeah, well, it might have been a little premature for you to come back."

"If I waited for your father to tell me it's safe to come home, it could be weeks. I called and talked to Maggie yesterday afternoon, and she said you all got home yesterday morning. There's absolutely no reason I have to stay away if the other wives are allowed to be here."

"Maybe because your fucking husband told you to?" Edward barks. "There's a reason he sent you and Ali out of town. Shit isn't safe here. And it won't be for a little while yet. You should have waited to come home."

"And yet Bella is here," she says, her brow raised.

"She is, and she's not going anywhere anytime soon."

"I can see that." She studies us for far too long, and it makes me uneasy. "I can also see when my presence isn't appreciated." She heaves a sigh and turns to grab her bag from the counter. "I think I'll just go."

Edward opens his mouth to say more, but the ringing of his cellphone interrupts him. "Shit," he mutters as he looks at the screen. "I need to take this."

He turns and kisses my forehead. "Don't let her get to you," he whispers before continuing down the hallway.

I'm left alone with Esme.

"You shouldn't be here, Bella," she finally says, taking a step toward me. "You should pack up your son and make a new life for yourself somewhere else. I really think it's what Masen would have wanted."

I swallow hard, but stand straight, not allowing her to intimidate me any more than she already has. "You have no idea what Masen wanted for Sam and me."

She nods as she steps closer. "You were a sweet girl, Bella. You were a great friend to my daughter—"

"I'm still a good friend to your daughter."

She nods in agreement. "I'll give you that. You were even a good girlfriend to my son. But things changed. And looking back, I think the universe was trying to tell us your presence in our lives was never meant to be permanent. You should have taken the opportunity to leave town, to go and make a better life for yourself somewhere else. I really don't think this life is what your father wanted for you, or your mother for that matter, God rest her soul."

I grit my teeth. "My father has absolutely no say in my life. And he hasn't since the day I turned eighteen. Leaving this town was never an option for me."

"What will it take, Bella? Is it money you need? Will you leave town if I write you a check?"

Before I can respond, Edward emerges from his bedroom and walks up behind me, placing his hand at the small of my back.

"Pop just called me back. I need to go." He turns to his mother. "Why don't you let me walk you out?"

She takes a step back, but her eyes don't leave me. "No, I can see myself out." She finally looks at her son. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"I will."

She leans forward and kisses his cheek. When she pulls back, her steely gaze meets mine.

"Bella," she says coldly.

Without another word, she walks out the front door and closes it behind her.

"I'm sorry," Edward says before kissing my neck.

"For what?" I ask, my eyes still locked on the front door.

"I knew she was going to be a problem, but I didn't think we'd have to face her yet." He turns my entire body to face him, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close. "What did she say to you?"

I shake my head. "Not much she hasn't said to me before."

"Whatever it was, don't let it get to you." He nudges my chin up with his finger and kisses me softly. "I won't let anything come between us this time."

I nod but remain silent.

"You want me to stick around and follow you to work?"

"No, I need to shower before I leave. It'll take me too long to get ready, and Pop needs you back."

"A shower, huh?" he asks, a smirk playing on his lips.

"And neither of us will get where we need to be if you stay for that." I push against his chest gently.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

After a kiss goodbye, he heads out with promises of seeing me later. I call Rose to let her know I'll be in later, but she's distracted by something going wrong on set. She mentions something about an allergic reaction to lube, so needless to say, it's a quick call. I shower and dress, and I manage to make it out the door before noon.

I wave to Buzz as I climb into the Nova. As I make the drive into the studio, I think about everything Esme said this morning, and the doubts begin to creep in.

Esme used to be supportive of my relationship with Edward. But when my father found us together, her tune changed. I expected her to have our backs, to encourage us to stick it out until my eighteenth birthday. Instead, she did what she could to keep us apart. The few times I spent at the Cullen house after my breakup with Edward, she refused to tell me how he was doing. She plastered Seth's sonogram pictures on their refrigerator, making a point to gush about the impending arrival of her grandson. She even tried to push me toward going to school out of state.

Esme and my father may have done everything in their power to keep Edward and me apart, but he pushed me away, too. It didn't take much for me to realize there was no point in fighting for us.

And while Esme may not hold the same power over Edward as she once did, I know she's still a strong influence in his life. If she doesn't want me with her son, no matter how many reassurances he gives me, she could definitely make things difficult for us.

A/N: What did you think about the mini showdown between Bella and Esme? Do you think there's more to be said? Do you think Edward will stand up to his mother? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

The week off was good for my soul. There's so much more involved than just writing and posting. Edits sometimes take more brain power for me than writing the words. Lol. So, it was great to catch my breath and get caught up. I was also able to add to my banked chapters of both Clutch and Shift last week, so yay!

Remember, you can come chat with me in my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics. I also share teasers and chapter pics there every week. And you can follow me on Twitter at CSunshine1220, and on my blog sited in chapter 1. Thanks so much for reading!

Be kind.
Stay safe.
Stay well.

Lots of love
~Sunshine