Chapter 38

A/N #1: I'd like to give a big shout out to fellow Timeless author, the very talented Once Upon A Whim, for her invaluable contribution to the next couple of chapters. Thank you, my generous friend :)

"Good morning, Master Sergeant Logan," Dr. Evans stood and greeted Wyatt pleasantly when he walked into her office Friday morning, offering him a firm handshake. "Won't you have a seat?" Once they were both sitting on either side of her wide desk, she opened the file in front of her and scanned it briefly before lifting her eyes to regard him attentively.

"As a reminder, Master Sergeant, our appointment this past Wednesday was your sixth one, which means we are now approximately halfway through the initial twelve-session commitment I recommend for all my first-time clients. I think it might be helpful for both of us if we take our hour together today to evaluate your progress with a quick review of the objectives you set for yourself during our first session, thereby ensuring you and I are both on the same page, so to speak, regarding your therapy."

Sitting up even straighter and struggling to remain perfectly still under her steady gaze, he responded politely, "Yes, Ma'am." While Wyatt grudgingly understood his time with the counselor was necessary-even somewhat helpful if he were being perfectly honest-it was doubtful he'd ever truly be comfortable baring his soul to a stranger. Talking about his private feelings just wasn't who he was...but for Lucy and Jamie, Wyatt would willingly walk through fire to become the best partner and father he could be. The two people he loved most in this world deserved nothing less from him.

"I see from your file the anniversary of your wife's passing is in two days, and in past discussions, you've noted this particular day is always quite emotionally difficult for you, which is only to be expected–and perfectly normal, I can assure you. Despite what you might think, grief certainly doesn't operate on any kind of timetable. Now, if you recall from our first session, you indicated one of the goals most important to you was mastering the ability to cope with so-called 'trigger' days like the date Mrs. Logan died. Have you given any thought to how you might attempt that this year?" Leaning back in her chair, Dr. Evans waited patiently for him to sort out his thoughts.

Actually, earlier in the week, Wyatt had gotten an idea he hoped might help him get some 'closure' (to use one of his therapist's favorite words). Swallowing hard, he answered cautiously, "There is something I've been kicking around, but before I get into it...I didn't say anything during our last session, Dr. Evans, but I guess you need to know, since it's probably important for my file and all that I tell you." At the doctor's encouraging nod, Wyatt informed her (without going into every intimate detail) he'd finally talked to Lucy about the day Jessica was died–and the surprising relief he felt afterwards.

"That is excellent news, Master Sergeant, a real breakthrough," Dr. Evans observed thoughtfully. "Sharing the emotional stress you've been carrying around for years with a woman you care deeply for not only benefits you personally, but will likely have a positive effect on your relationship with Miss Preston going forward as well, wouldn't you agree?"

Frowning slightly, he considered her theory. It was true that Lucy had been amazing Saturday night, so sweet and understanding, and-even if she hadn't come right out and said it-probably relieved he'd finally opened up to her. Remembering how he'd broken down and sobbed in Lucy's arms afterwards, Wyatt's cheeks warmed in embarrassment, wondering how much of that it was necessary to share with the doc. After a long moment, he took a deep breath and quietly confessed, "Yeah, thankfully, Lucy didn't react the way I was afraid she would...she listened very patiently and when I got a little emotional, she didn't hesitate a second to comfort me." Which was definitely an understatement.

Now the counselor offered Wyatt a warm smile. "I'm glad to hear that. Communication between partners is crucial, even during the early stages of a relationship, and I'm sure you already realize how important Miss Preston's unconditional support will be to your progress. Now, you said you might have an idea or two for dealing with the anniversary date?"

The rest of the hour flew by as they assessed his progress before briefly discussing Wyatt's tentative plans for the weekend. By the time his session was finished, he actually felt slightly hopeful for the first time since starting therapy. While Wyatt obviously wasn't looking forward to the next two days, he thought that with some guidance from Dr. Evans and of course, Lucy's help, getting through the worst "Jessica" day of them all just might be a little easier for him to handle.

There was a hell of a lot riding on his self-prescribed 'duty' tomorrow, he decided with a pensive frown on the short walk back to his and Bam's office. Deliberately ignoring the skeptical little voice in the back of his head distinctly unhappy at the thought of keeping a new secret from the woman he loved, Wyatt felt strongly enough this was something important he needed to take care of by himself. Yeah, maybe it was stubborn masculine pride calling the shots here, but he wasn't comfortable with the idea of being a burden to her–and sadly, deep down, Wyatt still couldn't shake the lingering fear Lucy might decide in the end his emotional 'baggage' had become too much bother (which terrified him).

There was always the worrying possibility, too, that big-hearted Lucy would want to go with him. No, Ma'am, I love you, I appreciate you, but in this instance, just no thank you. This would be a new, potentially distressing experience for Wyatt, and while it might seem foolish to Lucy, in his opinion, breaking down in front of her again would just be too embarrassing. Jesus, he'd already bawled on her shoulder Saturday like a little baby. Plus, what about his son–how would that work? It might be too much to handle for a child as young as Jamie.

No, in this instance, it was worth a calculated risk to 'beg forgiveness' after the fact than 'ask permission' first. Fortunately for (the very undeserving) Wyatt Logan, Lucy Preston had already proved herself to be a very forgiving woman. It will all work out...I'll tell her everything afterwards and she might get upset with me, but I know she'll understand. His conscience twinged uncomfortably for a moment at the thought of making the woman he loved unhappy, especially after the crazy stupid way he flipped out on her last month.

Entering their office a few minutes later, Wyatt had just about convinced himself he was doing the right thing. Might not hurt to ask Bam what he thinks, though. The guy was actually pretty level-headed, and for all his hearty bluster at times, had proven on more than one occasion to be surprisingly compassionate when it came to sensitive stuff like this. "Excellent timing, Master Sergeant Logan," his best friend greeted him cheerfully, standing and handing Wyatt a file folder. "Just finished signing off on the weekend duty roster, so you can look it over while we grab lunch, alright?"

Inclining his head agreeably, Wyatt tucked the folder under his arm and followed Bam along the winding hallway to the mess hall. Once they were seated, he glanced over the roster while they ate and made a couple of suggestions here and there until both of them were satisfied. Setting the folder aside, Wyatt cleared his throat and asked hesitantly, "Hey, Bam? Can I run something past you?"

"Sure, brother, what's on your mind?" the other man responded easily, favoring Wyatt with a curious glance. To his credit, he kept quiet until Wyatt finished explaining his idea, although he frowned thoughtfully near the end at the mention of keeping the plan from Lucy until afterwards. "Do you want my honest opinion here, Wy?" he asked soberly. Wyatt's heart sank. Aww, hell, maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to confide in Bam. His blunt-to-a-fault friend definitely wouldn't sugar-coat his opinion–and as it turned out, he didn't. Still, by the time they returned to the office for the afternoon, Bam had offered him some solid advice and definitely given him a few things to consider. Wyatt decided he would think about it some more and put off his decision until tomorrow, depending on how he felt when he woke up...

"Jamie, Sweetie, are you ready to go? We don't want to be late," Lucy called from the bottom of the stairs the next morning as she shrugged into her tan suede jacket and hurriedly looped a soft cream-colored scarf around her neck. Snagging the little boy's things from the hooks above the table just inside the front door, she turned around to see him jump off the bottom step wearing a pleased grin.

"All ready, Miss Lucy!" he cheerfully declared, wiggling only slightly while Lucy securely fastened his jacket and tugged a matching knit cap down over his blond hair, taking care to cover his little ears. Picking up her bag and the birthday gift she'd wrapped last night from the table, she dug out her car keys and ushered him out the door ahead of her before locking it securely behind them.

It really was a shame Wyatt couldn't go with them this morning, Lucy sighed pensively, pulling away from the curb once she and Jamie were buckled in. When she casually reminded Wyatt earlier over breakfast that the birthday party was around lunch time today, he'd stared at her blankly for a few seconds before asking abruptly with a slight frown if she was okay to take Jamie by herself. Caught off guard by his preoccupied manner, Lucy readily agreed, naturally assuming there was something he needed to take care of at the base that couldn't wait until Monday.

It wasn't that she minded, Lucy reflected, because she always enjoyed spending time with the adorable five-year-old. It was just that on those rare occasions she and Jamie went some place together or with Julie and her girls like the movies or McDonalds without his father, people usually assumed she was the little guy's mommy, and each time it happened, while it secretly thrilled Lucy, she was never quite sure if she should make the effort to correct them or simply let it go...

Flashback

January 14

After the movie, they headed over to the McDonalds at the edge of the shopping center where the multiplex was located for a quick lunch before going to the mall–possibly not the smartest idea, but a hungry Sadie was getting kind of cranky and obviously couldn't wait much longer. While Julie and Amy went to stand in the long line to order their food, Lucy volunteered to take the little ones to find the six of them a table.

As to be expected, the restaurant was noisy and crowded on a Saturday afternoon, and unfortunately, at first glance, it didn't look like there were any open tables. After asking Jamie to take Annie's hand and hold on tight to her jacket, Lucy hoisted Sadie onto one hip as they slowly cruised around the packed dining area.

"Miss Lucy, my belly is empty," the toddler fussed in her ear, playing with the ends of Lucy's hair while she looked in vain for a place to sit down. Thankfully, as Lucy shifted a surprisingly heavy Sadie to her other hip, a large booth emptied out only a few feet away. "Hang on tight, Sadie," she instructed before leaning down and telling Jamie and Annie to hurry and get the booth. Dropping onto the seat, a relieved Lucy glanced up when one of the young employees approached the table to ask if she needed a highchair or any booster seats.

"Yes, thank you, a highchair would be wonderful," she smiled gratefully, holding Sadie on her lap for now while Jamie and Annie perched on their knees across the table from them.

"Sure thing. How many of the boosters will you need, Ma'am? We're pretty slammed right now, so I'm not sure if I can find two. Do you think your little boy will be okay without one?" the teen asked politely.

Flustered as usual by the casual assumption she was Jamie's mother, Lucy stammered, "Uh, sure, he'll be alright if you can't find a second booster, thanks," biting her lip as she watched the girl deftly weave in and out of the crowd to search for a highchair and hopefully, two booster seats for Jamie and Annie.

"Miss Lucy, that lady thought Jamie was your little boy," four-year-old Annie declared innocently as she and Jamie both stared intently at Lucy, who could feel her cheeks warming. Oh, dear, was that hope on the five-year-old's face? Even Sadie stopped sucking her thumb and turned her curly blonde head to look up. Fortunately, before Lucy had to come up with some kind of answer that would satisfy the little girls' curiosity and not hurt Jamie's feelings in the process, Julie and Amy came to her rescue, setting two trays laden with drinks and red and yellow boxes down in front of them as the employee rolled a highchair to the end of the table.

While Lucy and Amy watched in awe, experienced mom Julie distributed the Happy Meals with impressive speed, thankfully averting a Sadie meltdown. By the time the three-year-old was strapped into the chair daintily pushing fries into her mouth, the other two were settled on the red plastic booster seats exclaiming happily about the special toys that came with their meals. Lucy mentally sighed with relief at the reprieve, deciding to worry about the matter later...

End Flashback

Of course, while most of the parents they'd likely encounter at the party today naturally knew her as their child's teacher, it was doubtful very many of them were even aware she and Jamie Logan's father were in a serious relationship. Not only did they both feel like it was no one's business, just the idea she and Wyatt might be a hot topic of conversation around Palm Grove Elementary School bothered Lucy.

Every so often, however, like their situation this morning, it unfortunately couldn't be helped–Wyatt obviously had a commitment he couldn't get out of. And if she were being brutally honest, there were certainly times when Lucy felt like she could be Jamie's mom-well, at least his stepmom if she and Wyatt eventually got married-and deep down, she liked it. A lot. He was a wonderful child any woman would be happy to claim as hers.

As for today, the party at Chuck E Cheese probably wouldn't last more than an hour or so, and Wyatt had promised on his way out the door a few minutes before them he'd be waiting when she and Jamie got home. They hadn't really made any concrete plans for this evening or the rest of the weekend. Wyatt hadn't mentioned Jessica even once since last Saturday night. Well aware tomorrow was the fifth anniversary of his wife's passing, Lucy resolved to herself days ago that whatever Wyatt felt like doing–even if it was nothing in particular at all–was perfectly fine with her. As far as she was concerned, though, Monday morning couldn't come soon enough...not that she was counting the hours or anything.

The Saturday morning traffic got predictably worse the closer they got to the restaurant, which was located in a busy shopping center not too far from Pendleton, so Lucy forced herself to focus her attention on driving. Luckily, she and Jamie had left home a few minutes early, so unless there was a traffic jam or something, should arrive at the party in plenty of time.

"Guess what, Miss Lucy?" Jamie asked from directly behind her in the back seat where he was amusing himself with a new game she downloaded for him on her phone. "I put the puzzle together all by myself, wanna see?" Waiting at the red light behind a motorcycle and in front of an older model minivan, Lucy took a second to quickly glance over her shoulder at the five-year-old, who held up the device for her inspection.

"Wow! Good job, Jamie," she praised, "You'll have to show your Daddy how well you did that when we get home, okay?" Smiling affectionately when he nodded and shot her a dimpled grin that was a near perfect miniature of his father's, she turned back around just as the traffic light changed to green. Automatically looking left then right before entering the intersection, Lucy pressed the gas lightly and started forward to follow the motorcycle when out of the corner of her eye, she noticed through the passenger window a heavy-duty white pickup heading toward them. Whoa, they're going pretty fast, she thought absently.

Her eyes widened in stunned disbelief when she realized the truck seemed to be going much too fast to stop safely. They're not stopping...why aren't they stopping? Hemmed in on all sides by heavy traffic, there was zero chance she and Jamie could get out of the way. In the split second before the speeding pickup breached the intersection and rammed her car, Lucy practically stood on her brakes while at the same time instinctively reaching back for Jamie, yelling hoarsely at him to put his head down, now.

With an almost super-human effort, she strained against the seatbelt and managed to grab the tips of his chubby fingers a second before the vehicles collided with a terrible roar from metal grinding on metal, the sheer force slamming them into the car passing on her left side, sandwiching Lucy's small car between them. Automatically shutting her eyes, she sensed rather than saw the passenger side of her vehicle cave inward like an accordion, instantly showering broken glass all over the seats and the two of them and filling the air with the overpowering smell of gasoline. Over the loud bang of the air bags deploying, the sound of Jamie's high-pitched shriek of terror abruptly cut off, filling Lucy's heart with an icy dread. And then everything around them went shockingly silent as time seemed to stop before moving forward in a dreamy slow motion.

Lucy's head had snapped back painfully against the headrest from the impact of the collision and despite her desperate attempt to hold on, she couldn't keep her grip on the five-year-old. Blinking dazedly at the dull ringing in her ears, she ignored the shallow, stinging cuts on her exposed face and hands from the glass shards. With great effort, she cautiously turned her aching head and neck around, only to gasp in horror at the sight of Jamie's small body lying half out of his booster seat, slumped sideways against the door with a bright red trickle of blood dripping sluggishly from his tiny nose. "Jamie!" Lucy screamed shrilly as a wave of fear washed over her.

No, no, please, God, let him be okay...Jamie has to be alright, he's just a small child...please, no... Holding her breath, Lucy strained to listen for even the faintest sound from the back seat, but the little boy was ominously quiet. Choking back a sob, she instantly thought of Wyatt. What would this do to him after the way Jessica died? Completely disregarding her own possible injuries, a fierce determination filled her heart. She had to save Jamie for Wyatt...

Gritting her teeth at the pain shooting up her shoulder, Lucy slowly, awkwardly brought her now throbbing right arm forward, her sole focus getting to the motionless child in the back seat. "Jamie, please, please, Sweetie, wake up, don't be scared, you're going to be fine," she whimpered softly to the unhearing child. Frantically trying in vain to undo her jammed seatbelt with both hands, she twisted furiously from side to side, heedlessly tearing a couple of fingernails.

But it was no use–the damned seatbelt wouldn't budge. Heart racing and panting from the futile effort, her head fell back against the headrest in defeat as tears of frustration filled her eyes. Trying valiantly to stay conscious despite the fuzzy black dots dancing around the edges of her vision, she jerked in fright against the unforgiving seatbelt straps when the near-deafening silence in her head was unexpectedly broken by a sudden harsh cacophony of wailing sirens and people shouting.

Lucy was startled when without warning, a fireman wearing full gear carefully stuck his head inside the partially busted-out front seat window. "Ma'am? Can you hear me? Are you and your little boy okay? We're gonna get you out of there, just hold on," he promised in a muffled voice, turning slightly and shouting something over his shoulder. Lucy's eyes filled with tears of gratitude as she sagged back against the seat.

Hold on...yes...yes, she could hold on, just so long as the nice fireman helps Jamie first...please, he's only five years old and his Daddy needs him to be okay. Lucy started to nod, crying out when the motion sent a sharp pain lancing through her skull so intense it made her stomach churn and her vision start to white out around the edges. Biting back a low moan against the dizzying nausea, she shut her burning eyes-but only for a minute because Jamie needed her-until the nice fireman came back. Wyatt, where are you, we need you...hold on Jamie, help is coming, Lucy whispered under her breath. She tried to stay awake, she really did, but as her panicked breathing gradually slowed, the hellish noise and chaos around them grew fainter until everything faded to a soothing darkness...

A/N #2: Ah, c'mon, Gracie, not a cliffhanger? (Ducking for cover) Sorry this update is a little shorter than the previous one, Timeless friends, but considering what is coming in the next chapter, it seemed like a pretty good place to stop. Can't believe First Steps has officially passed the 150,000 word count-wow :) My sincere appreciation as always to those of you still faithfully following this AU story, which holds a special place in my heart. Thank you so much for all the favorites, follows, and wonderful reviews–they mean more to me than you can imagine! :))