A few days after the Prixin celebration, Tom was on duty on the bridge, another routine shift without too much excitement. He leaned back in his chair, eyes lazily watching the monitors for navigation and control.

"How about New Zealand?" Harry asked him from across the bridge. He had his elbows on his own workstation, looking entirely fed up. "I always thought it looked like a nice place. Mountain climbing, skiing … B'Elanna'd be into that."

"Harry, I'm not gonna have my honeymoon in a holographic representation of the country I was once incarcerated in," Tom said rolling his eyes. "I was thinking Risa."

"Everyone goes for Risa," Harry scoffed. "Not very original."

"There's a reason everyone goes to Risa, Harry. I intend to find out."

"What about Pacifica? Or Casperia Prime?"

"Maybe …" Tom mused, stretching his hands behind his head.

"I recommend the Fire Pits of Vulcan," interjected Tuvok from behind him. "It is a most fascinating place."

"Fiery pits of lava?" Tom said. "Yeah, I could see B'Elanna going for that. I mean, we're only getting a few hours for a honeymoon. Might as well make it exciting."

A beeping from Harry's station put an end to all discussion.

"Commander, sensors have detected an unusual formation up ahead."

"I have it on my sensors," Tom agreed, leaning forwards to look at his displays. "It's a nebula, but like no other nebula I've ever seen. It's huge!"

"Class J," Harry informed them. "It's got huge quantities of deuterium. Commander, I think this would be a good chance to stock up."

"Agreed," Tuvok said. He tapped his badge. "Captain Janeway to the bridge."

A few moments later, Janeway and Chakotay had emerged from her ready room, PADDS in hand.

"We're approaching a Class J nebula, Captain," Harry rattled off. "Packed full of deuterium from the looks of things."

Janeway had taken her seat and began viewing Harry's scans. "Is it in visual range?"

"Yes, Captain."

A second later it had popped up on the viewscreen. Tom let out a long whistle. "Wow the sensors weren't kidding. I've never seen a Class J nebula that big."

"Nor have I, Lieutenant," Janeway said. She stood up and stared at the screen where the monstrous green and blue formation filled the image, biting her lower lip. "It would make an excellent opportunity for study as well as collecting some deuterium. I believe it may be the largest on record."

"I think Seven might like a look at it too," Chakotay said. "I'm surprised it didn't show up in Astrometrics. This thing's like a ghost. We were practically on top of it before we picked it up."

"Hold our position here, Tom," Janeway ordered. "I'd like a further look at it. Chakotay, tell Seven to prepare the Delta Flyer for a routine survey and deuterium collection. Harry, I want you scanning it from here. Get down to Astrometrics to get a better look if you'd like."

"Don't you want a closer look, Captain?" Tom asked, fixing their position and turning to look at her. "Don't tell me you're not itching to get inside it?"

Janeway smiled. "Of course I do. But someone needs to be captain."

"What's the point of being captain if you don't get all the good missions?" Tom pointed out. "The largest Class J nebula ever discovered and you're just gonna stay on board? Where's the science officer in you?"

She was tempted. Janeway's eyes kept flicking back to the screen. Tom wanted her to say yes. He'd come to know her really well over the last few years and knew that she often had to sacrifice her scientific curiosity in the name of her captain's duties. It didn't seem fair to him that he and B'Elanna and all the others got to indulge in their interests on board, but Janeway didn't. She'd allowed them to build the Delta Flyer using Voyager's resources, not even raising an eyebrow when he'd added his own little modifications. True, it was used mainly for Voyager's benefit, but it'd begun as a simple hobby.

The captain and the scientist were at war. Eventually, it seemed the scientist won.

"Alright, Lieutenant, you've convinced me." A mischievous grin broke out on her face. "I'll accompany Seven in the Flyer."

"Is that wise, Captain?" Chakotay questioned her. "You know the protocols about captains on away missions-"

"Yes, and there isn't a single Starfleet captain who doesn't bend that rule on occasion," Janeway replied. "Captain's prerogative, I'm afraid. I'll be in Astrometrics."

Once she'd left the bridge, Chakotay turned to Tom. "Happy?"

"It's just a nebula!" Tom shrugged. "What could happen?"

"How many times have we all heard that one?" Chakotay muttered darkly.

The surveying mission appeared to be going well. With Voyager stationary, Tom wasn't needed at the conn, so joined Harry in going between the ops and science stations collecting the data that Janeway and Seven were sending back to the ship. Despite not being much of a scientist himself, even Tom was intrigued by some of the readings they were getting. The deuterium they had sampled appeared to be highly enriched and could be put to great use in the ship's engines, perhaps even improving their performance.

Chakotay was in command of the bridge, reading through some reports at his chair, only occasionally glancing up at the nebula on the screen with a frown on his face. Tom thought he was a being a bit too uptight. Just how many nebulae had they surveyed over Voyager's time in the Delta Quadrant?

"Initial survey 96% completed," Tuvok said. "They should be returning shortly."

"Are we going to map the whole thing, Commander?" Harry asked. "Doing it in detail could take months."

"I think not, Ensign," Chakotay responded, looking up. "We don't have the luxury to sit around all that time. We'll just have to be happy with what information we can get. Maybe one day Starfleet can get back out this far and have another shot at it."

"Seems a shame," Harry said. "Who knows what could be hiding out here that we just to keep on flying past? There could be technological, scientific and medical discoveries we'll never know about."

"You want to add even more years to our journey home, Harry?" Tom asked, logging some more data from the sensors.

"Course not, all I'm saying is, maybe the secret to getting home is out there but we missed it."

"We'll just have to take that risk, Harry. I for one, don't want-"

"Commander, incoming distress signal from the Delta Flyer," Harry interrupted, voice immediately switching to tense.

Chakotay sat bolt upright. "Let's hear it."

"Text only, Commander. Their comms are severely damaged." Harry continued pressing buttons as Tom raced back to the conn. "Their shuttle was hit by an unexplained energy discharge. They have extensive damage and engines are failing. Seven also reports that the captain has been injured."

Tom momentarily froze at his position. Janeway, injured. He didn't want to believe it.

"Can we transport them to Voyager?" Chakotay's voice was sharp.

"Negative. Not until they're in closer range. There's too much interference."

"Tractor beam?"

"Same problem."

"Commander, I can get us closer," Tom said, already beginning to chart a course.

"Are you sure? We don't want to be hit by the same thing they were."

"I can do it," Tom repeated. His eyes danced over his consoles as he input speed and bearing. "I can read the discharges on my sensors. I'm certain I can avoid them."

"Very well, Lieutenant. Let's see that fancy flying of yours."

"Aye, sir," Tom said, engaging his course and directing the ship towards the Delta Flyer. It was rough going, with discharges and eddies threatening their passage at every moment.

"It's like going through a minefield," Harry complained, as one discharge hit their hull, seemingly unaffected by their shields. "That one knocked out power to the relays on Deck 13."

"I'll try not and hit any more!" Tom gritted his teeth as he manoeuvred the gigantic Voyager through the disturbances at the edges of the nebula. His heart was in his mouth. Each discharge seemed closer than the next, and the ship juddered and complained as he forced it further inside the nebula. He'd never seen a formation like it. Nebula's just didn't behave like this.

"Stress on the hull reaching danger levels," Tuvok indicated, as more alerts began flashing.

"We're almost there," Harry said, clutching his monitor with white knuckles. "Just a few seconds more, Tom!"

Tom obeyed, driving further and further, carrying out manoeuvres which he knew for a fact were not Starfleet approved to get closer to the blip on his screen which was the Delta Flyer.

"That's it!" Harry spun around and began tapping on another monitor. "Transporting the Flyer and the away team to the shuttlebay."

A few tense seconds passed until Harry gave a sigh of relief. "We got them!"

"Get us out of here," Lieutenant," Chakotay commanded, even as a couple panels around the room began sparking.

Tom had already started to do so, flying with as much dexterity as he could until they were finally free of the nebula. He took up a position five thousand kilometres away to be on the safe side. Only then did he allow himself to relax slightly.

"Commander." Harry's face was serious. "Seven requested an emergency transport to sickbay for the captain. She's in a critical condition."

"Understood." Chakotay acknowledged him, but did not look at him. He stared directly in front, his face draining of colour. His eyes met Tom's and Tom knew they both understood the panic the other was feeling yet trying to mask. Tom could not help but think of Amelia, safe, playing with Naomi somewhere on the ship, unaware of what had happened to her mother. He felt sick.

Chakotay seemed to be hesitating, but then came to a decision. "Mr. Paris, maintain our position here and Mr. Kim, continue whatever scans of the nebula we can accomplish from here, find out more about those energy bursts. Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge. I'll be in sickbay."

Ignoring the chorus of 'aye, sir', Chakotay stood up and strode purposefully towards the turbolift, pausing at the entrance before he looked back at Tom.

"You can come too, if you like, Lieutenant."

Tom was out of his seat like a shot, joining Chakotay in the turbolift without a second thought. Neither of them spoke on the way to sickbay, he doubted either of them could. Memories of the last time he'd spoken to Janeway rumbled through Tom's head. He'd encouraged her to go. This was his fault.

Upon entering sickbay, they found the captain lying on the main surgical bed, The Doctor moving around her at an incredible speed, deploying scans and hyposprays with expertise. Seven stood a little to the side and looked on, her face the picture of uncharacteristic concern.

"What happened?" Chakotay demanded of her.

Seven glanced at the captain once before answering. "We were hit by a phenomenal burst of energy. It overloaded the control panel Captain Janeway was working at. Most of our systems were down and I was only just able to get a message to Voyager. I attempted to stabilise her condition with the medkit on board, but I was unable."

"And what is her condition?" Chakotay moved forwards, Tom a little behind him.

The captain was unconscious, but aside from a few burns, which even Tom with his limited medical abilities knew were largely superficial, she did not appear very much affected. However, a glance at the monitors showed to Tom that there was far more going on below the surface. Her vital signs were erratic, and he was astonished at the level of cellular degradation he was seeing.

"I'm afraid I'm not quite sure," The Doctor said, turning to look at them. His face was unusually grave. "Her cells are degrading rapidly, some side effect of the energy burst which hit the Delta Flyer. I have tried to synthesise more, but they are continually being destroyed, almost as if the energy burst is still inside her searching for new cells to annihilate. It's almost like a virus, a very rapidly progressing one."

"Can you reverse it?" Chakotay asked, hand gripping the monitor he was standing beside tightly.

The Doctor sighed. "Temporarily perhaps, but the degradation will just continue with each new infusion of cells into her body."

"What are you saying, Doc?" Tom asked, his entire body going cold.

"I'm saying, that unless I can find a way to introduce new cellular material into her body and prevent its destruction within the next forty-eight hours, I'm afraid she has no chance of survival."

Tom heard the words, but was not sure he could comprehend them. The captain could not die. She was the captain. She'd survived the Kazon, Species 8472 and the Borg, only to be killed by a nebula? It wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

How was he supposed to tell Amelia that her mother was dying?

And how was he supposed to tell her that it had been his idea for her to go?