Hotel Suite 608

Sunday June 10, 2012

4:17 PM

A soft rapping at the door woke her from her sleep. Opening her eyes slightly, Emily lifted her arm to check the time on her watch. But there was no watch, just bandages wrapped snuggly around her wrist. The brunette exhaled deeply, then craned her neck to look at the clock on the bedside table. It was a little after 4 o'clock.

Another knock sounded at the door.

"Coming." She moaned.

Emily rolled sluggishly out of the bed. She should've known better than to take a nap in the middle of the day. Nine times out ten, doing that gave her a massive headache. This time was no different. But she'd been so tired since the incident that sleep was inevitable. When she sat down on the edge of the bed earlier, she was so exhausted, she could barely keep her eyes open.

It took a moment, but once she successfully dragged her herself across the room, Prentiss unlocked the door and pulled it open. The company she'd been expecting was staring her right in the face. He stood rigidly with his hands in his pockets and a serious expression on his face. However, his entire disposition seemed to soften when he realized he'd just woken her up from a long, heavy nap.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Morgan greeted her.

A faint smile pulled at her lips,"Hey." She whispered, her voice still waking up with the rest of her.

She stepped to the side just enough for him to enter, closed the door, and then followed him into the room. Immediately, she saw how he observed the mess of stuff all over the place. Large suitcases were standing open with an array of clothes, shoes and other items falling out (or waiting to go back inside of the luggage.) Some of it was organized piles of things. Other piles, like on the bed, were just a plain disaster. It looked like all her bags had self-imploded.

On the contrary, after returning from her psych evaluation, Emily had come back to the room and started to re-pack some of her luggage. She wanted to move some things from her go-bag into them, and also wanted to make sure her stuff was in a secure place before she left for the airport in the morning. It was well intentioned, but there were only a few minutes of true productivity that transpired before she found herself falling face first onto her pillows.

"What happened here?" Morgan asked with a small chuckle.

Prentiss scratched her head in slight embarrassment, "I had a lot of things packed up before we left for Georgia, but once we got back, I got to repacking and well…"

"I see…" He mused.

"We can sit on the couch, though." She offered, gesturing to a space she'd left clear of laundry and other assorted items for this very reason.

The two crossed over to the couch, situated parallel to the bed, and sat down. Prentiss pulled her knees close to her chest, getting comfortable. Morgan remained a little stiff, which came as no surprise to her. The last time they saw each other, she wasn't the friendliest person to be around. Expecting him to not be hesitant, was almost like asking someone to hug the person who stabbed them. Still, he managed to angle his body in towards her to face her better. And for Emily, that was a good sign.

"So, I'm sorry, about earlier," She started,"I should've talked you about what were we going to tell Hotch. You didn't deserve to be blindsided like that."

Morgan simply nodded in acceptance,"I appreciate you saying that…"

Because he had been so profoundly perturbed by what she did, Emily thought he might say more, be angrier. But as his gaze drifted to the floor and silence quickly ushered itself in, that didn't seem to be the case. Instead of confused and mildly outraged, he just seemed overwrought. And she almost didn't know how to respond.

"Your visit with the shrink go okay?" She asked, attempting to keep the conversation flowing.

"I mean… Yea." He lifted his eyes,"Yours?"

"It was fine." Prentiss confessed,"She did "highly recommend" I look up a few therapists in London, but otherwise, yea. It was fine."

Almost instantly, Prentiss could see how the humor in her statement landed poorly. At the mention of London, his brows curled into that very specific shape of his. His eyes shimmered like the poutiest of puppies. The man kind of nodded, acknowledging what she said, and perhaps, tried to figured out the words to say as he did so. But it felt, very nearly, that those words would never come.

"Your flight's tomorrow morning?" He mumbled, his gaze now shifting to his hands as he pressed them against each other.

"It is…" She answered gently,"Hey, um- Reid's coming with me and Penelope to the airport tomorrow, if you want to join the carpool to see us off."

"Mmm." He said indistinctly.

"Is that a no?"

"Nah, it's, no— I'll come."

If it wasn't clear to her before, it was certainly clear now. Morgan was holding something in. She couldn't define it, but she knew it was there. It was behind his eyes. It was in the way he massaged his hands together to keep himself distracted. The question or the statement was right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't convince himself to say it or to ask it. Until he did.

"Emily, where do we go from here?" He blurted.

Prentiss blinked. Her mouth fell open to respond, but she rapidly realized that she, herself, was at a loss for words. Even if she'd been considering it all day, or mulling it over for the past few days, she wasn't sure how to succinctly or effectively produce an answer to such a loaded question.

There were many things to consider. Her departure in the morning was one of them. But for Emily, there was never a question in her mind on whether she was going to continue her life overseas or not. The events of this whole week didn't change that decision. If anything, they reinforced it.

Of course, Emily was not without hesitation. She knew it was going to be a hard adjustment. Regardless of whether a stable a life with a new job awaited her, it was unusual for people to pick up their whole life and move to another country after experiencing what she experienced. But she figured, if she'd been forced to do it once, she was resilient, and would be able to do it again.

Maybe that read as heartless, or mechanical, but it certainly didn't feel that way. Choosing to leave her family at the BAU wasn't the easiest choice. Choosing to leave him wouldn't be either. And not just because he looked so lost in uncertainty, but because she was too. They were so unresolved. Their kiss of many days ago, their back and forth, their shared trauma, their hookup— all of it, blurred the lines of their partnership and painted a very unclear picture of who they were.

Where did they go from there? What were they supposed to do with all this uncertainty? She didn't know. And if she didn't have an answer for herself, what satisfactory answer could she possibly give him?

"I honestly don't know what to say…" She admitted lowly.

Morgan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees,"Well, at the beginning of last week we shook on nothing changing between us…"

"I know," She said, sullen tones creeping into her voice,"It's turning out to be a very hard promise to keep…"

"I can't keep it anymore." He confessed, "I don't think I ever really could. — A lot happened, Emily. We've changed. And, I don't know about you, but I think it'd be kind of insane for us to try and move along without fully acknowledging any of that."

Emily bit the inside of her cheek. It felt awful having him, in his own indirect way, accuse her of being unable to do what he was suggesting. She could acknowledge it— maybe. In all honesty, she had unintentionally made up her mind to acknowledge it later, once she moved and was settled. She was an expert compartmentalizer after all. It wasn't the healthiest practice, but, for her, looking at the impact that week had on her life could be postponed another week or a couple months.

Still, here was Morgan, making the error in that solution painfully obvious. Waiting until she found a therapist in London or waiting until she was cozy overseas — waiting until it was comfortable and convenient, worked only if the pain was solely her pain. This wasn't. It was theirs. And for any healing to be done honestly and fully, the process of acknowledgment had to be done with him. No matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient it seemed.

"Okay…" She nodded,"What do you want to do?"

Morgan shifted from his prone position,"I want to stop running." He asserted.

Emily frowned, "Running from?"

"How I feel…"

Taking her hand in his, he gently traced circles on her skin with the tip of his thumb. For whatever reason, Emily wasn't troubled by this gesture. She welcomed it. It was simple and affectionate, familiar and comforting. She suspected it served no other purpose but for him to break through the stiffness, a physical invitation for them to fall back into the pattern of ease they were accustomed to not so many weeks ago.

However, as he smoothly maneuvered closer, his intentions became clearer. His eyes suddenly poured into hers a look of affection and intense adoration. It sent a shivering pulse from her chest down to her pelvic floor. Just like that, the distance at which they sat apart started to conflict her. It freaked her out. It terrified her so much that she practically catapulted herself to the other side of the room to escape it.

Finding her place at the beside, Emily fixed herself on the edge of the mattress. A quick glance back over at him and the expression across his face told her she left him feeling a mixture of hurt and devastation. Her chest felt heavy just looking at him. And she wanted to fix this feeling, but it felt impossible.

All she knew was that, in that moment, she was frightened by the next few words that would come from his mouth. On top that she feared the little voice in her head. The one that told her to lean in to him, without reason or excuse. The one that didn't need to look at them objectively and figure out the consequences of every action. She was afraid of the voice that desperately wanted her to admit that—

"Derek, I think… you should leave." Emily breathed.

Morgan rose slowly from the couch,"Only if pushing me away is how you want to say goodbye."

"Pushing you away?" The words came out genuinely.

"Emily, I know you." He said, "I know when you're putting up walls."

Prentiss' tongue raced across her bottom lip. Even though being a profiler aided him in his assessment, this wasn't just a profiler thing. After 6 years of having each other's backs, knowing each other's secrets — depending on each other, nobody else knew her better. Nobody could read or see through her facades as well as he could. But it was moments like these that the degree to which he knew her really came back to bite.

"I don't mean to be detached..," Emily spoke slowly, almost cautiously, "I just— don't want another Hotel Hinesville part two confusing everything, leaving more questions between us than answers."

"I understand. I don't want that either." He said gently.

"Then why—"

"Did I move close to you?" He jumped in, "I don't want to leave room for any miscommunication. I need this moment to bring me clarity just as much as you do. But for that to happen— Emily, you have to let me in."

She nodded stiffly as her eyes glanced skyward, "I know…" She said.

After the few days of him shutting her out and putting up his own walls, it felt ironic that Morgan was the one asking her to open up. That was them, though. An endless rotation of breaking through each other's barriers is always what had strengthened their relationship, brought them closer. And right now, he was relentless. As long as he wanted her truth, he would do anything to get to it.

"Emily, can I ask you something?" He asked tentatively. The brunette responded with a small nod, queuing the man to continue,"Why did you really throw the truth for the report?"

"Like I said, it was reckless." Prentiss replied, sitting up straight,"Can we both agree that Hotch and everyone else are better off not knowing what we did?"

"Yes..," He began, "But between you and me, the way you've written it off as not having happened at all feels like it's carrying over. Like you actually want to forget it— do you?"

She blinked a few times before answering, collecting her courage for the rest of this conversation,"What we did, Derek… it was just sex."

"Just sex…" He repeated in a low voice.

"I promise, I'm not trying to invalidate you or erase what happened,"She spoke pragmatically,"But we really can't make a big deal out of this. We were both drugged and at the end our rope. Something physical was the only end result."

Morgan didn't need to say anything, the look across his face was a reply all on its own. It was an unmasked combination of woundedness and surprise, confusion and dismay. Undeniably, he had a different perspective on what took place at that moment in that room. Likely something more emotional… more romantic.

But for the same reason she moved to the other side of the room, she couldn't— wouldn't let her mind go to the same place. Instead, she was still preventing him access to things she was keeping hidden just under her surface. And finding it all too difficult to sit still in the silence mounting between them, she reached for an armful of crumpled up clothes and began to distractedly repack her suitcase.

"You don't agree with me?" She braved the question, a button up blouse in her hand.

"I can't say that what happened wasn't based on something purely sexual…" He said his voice soft, almost inaudible,"I can't say that it wasn't partly me and you following the unsubs' orders— that adds a whole other layer to this, but… I can say, when I laid you down on the bed, I thought you looked really beautiful."

Prentiss jilted but didn't freeze. Without missing a beat, his words provoked her heart rate to pick up, the organ steadily and uncontrollably slamming against wall of her chest. Trying to focus all her energy on anything else but him, she kept her gaze trained to the laundry she held in her lap.

"I pulled my mind away from it," He continued, "Because I'd never really thought that moments before… but, the thought kept lingering."

Prentiss kept packing, folding feverishly. She never wanted him to stop talking more than she did in that moment. He couldn't see, but each phrase he uttered made her cheeks burn a hot pink. Her hands trembled in the slightest and her bottom lip was growing sore from how intensely she was biting into it. But for some reason, the words to ask him to quit refused to expel themselves from her mouth. So, he kept going.

"I saw the scar on your abdomen, your messy hair— you do this thing with you cheek, I can't explain it, but it reveals your dimple. I saw everything about you and it was beautiful."

Inhaling a deep, shuttered breath, Emily placed the clothes into a suitcase beside her. Then, in a halfhearted effort, she fixed him into her line of sight. He was standing there, much closer to her now than he was before.

"Mostly I saw your eyes," He said, his own eyes lighting up when she finally returned the connection, "I've been with other women, and that's no secret. I know how heads turn, and how backs arch— but when it's just sex, Emily? You don't connect with the eyes. And when I set you down, your eyes— just like right now, they wouldn't stop glowing."

Almost immediately, her gaze fell back to her lap. She was past conflicted. Now she was internally tumbling over her own feelings and trying to process the one's he was freely sharing. But there it was. The one and only thing that could rip her stance in half, the one thing she secretly hoped he wouldn't remember, but which she distinctly did. From the moment the two of them crashed down onto that bed, they never took their eyes off each other.

This was her friend of many years, someone she appreciated and respected. But it was also someone whom she was leaving behind for an indefinite amount of time. And for their final goodbyes, before entering the rushed and hurried goodbyes at the airport terminal, he was pushing for something risky. He was bent on uncovering everything she was helplessly attempting to bury.

In truth, she knew she went into it wanting to satisfy her own sexual curiosity. There wasn't a way in hell she could hide that or tell a lie large enough to cover that fact. But she had been stubborn, if not completely unwilling to admit that it might've become a fulfillment of something she'd secretly wanted — that they both secretly wanted. Something that was much more meaningful than just sex.

"Say something, please." He beseeched, her silence taking its toll.

"What do you want me to say?" She asked weakly, almost sounding defeated,"I don't know what all this means for us, but I do know what we're risking if I admit what happened was more than something physical."

"Emily, we're not partners anymore," He reminded her, "We wouldn't be risking anything."

"Derek, you're still one of my best friends. And I don't want to continue to risk that." She responded. She was growing flustered, every instinct in her body was telling her to stop, to shut up, but she persevered, "We're not in a hole, facing death anymore. There's different consequences to our choices out here. And, even if we both agree that we were making love to each other— I don't what I'll do with that. I don't know what I'm supposed to do if, after all this, I'm leaving and— you love me. If I'm leaving and… I think I love you back."

Almost as soon as she was done speaking, she felt his finger delicately under her chin. Her dark eyes flickered as he now stood right in front of her and lifted her gaze to meet his, soft and adoring. His thumb grazed over her bottom lip and slowly, he moved in close, kissing her tenderly on the forehead, then on the cheek.

"What… are you doing?" She asked, her heart pounding quickly. She was still a little terrified, but her fear was also accompanied by an incomparable longing.

"Something I've been thinking about doing all weekend." He exhaled, moments later his lips descending upon hers.

He kissed her deeply, passionately, trying to prove a point. Unambiguous, his message came across, telling her to stop fighting for a past version of them. No more dodging change, they needed to embrace it. And as instinctively she rose from the edge of the bed and draped her arms over his shoulders, as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, she released into it. Both of them, in a whirlwind of love, trust, and affection, allowing the possibility of them as something much more than partners or friends to become a reality.

Their faces soon separating but their bodies still close, Morgan looked intently into her eyes,"So, you love me?" he asked, a small smirk appearing on his lips.

"I said 'I think'." Emily quipped, her face flushing,"Don't go getting a big head about it."

Morgan shook his head, placing another gentle kiss on her lips,"I love you, too, Princess."

While it felt good to hear those words tumbling from his mouth, in a way, it also stung. Hearing the words now couldn't change the fact that they both had this long awaited revelation all too late. She still was leaving in the morning. Inevitably, saying goodbye was never going to be easy. It was always going to be a little bittersweet, a little painful. But this only seemed to exacerbate the pain.

It worried her very deeply that this revelation — as sweet and sensational as it was, officially disintegrated one kind of relationship, exchanging it for something new, amazing, but potentially impermanent. And this was what she was truly feared the most: embracing this feeling and not having the chance to experience it.

Unceremoniously, hot tears pricked at her eyes. Not wanting him to catch her ruining the moment, Emily peered down. But soon after she did this, she felt his arms move away from her waist, and his hands find a way to her face. With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped the few streams of glistening water away from her eyes.

"Hey," He said, his voice calm but curious,"Why are you crying?"

Emily choked up a small laugh, the concerned, pouty expression on his face somehow striking her as humorous,"Derek… I still have to go."

"Or you could stay." He offered casually.

Her lips were a tight smile,"I can't… " She breathed, her voice almost a whisper.

Morgan inhaled deeply, and just pulled her back in close to him. Emily leaned in, resting her head on his chest as he comfortingly began to stroke her back. In this long pause of their conversation, she knew he didn't respond because he was still too much her friend to really persuade her to reverse her plans on a whim like that. Moreover, he understood why she was leaving, and respected that.

And as much as they wished they could stay in this moment for a long, long time, the practicalities had to be considered. At some point this moment was going to end. He was going to leave this hotel room, she was going to board a flight, and then miles of Pacific ocean would keep them apart before they could even get an honest start.

Naturally, she began to entertain her previous fears, started to wonder if admitting everything wasn't the best course of action for either of them. Yes, they both could make proclamations and say some pretty things. But perhaps they were things that wouldn't hold up as well come tomorrow.

A hint of regret and whole load of doubt and anxiety was beginning to dawn on her when, suddenly, Morgan spoke, "What if… I came with you?" He offered.

Emily pulled away and searched his face, "What?"

Morgan shrugged, "I'm on paid leave right now. So, I mean, I could fly to London with you. Stay for while. I could help you get set up in your apartment and everything."

"Derek." She scoffed.

"Emily." He glared at her, "I'm serious. — I love you, and I don't want to be without you. No matter where or how far away you are, that fact will never change."

Her ears were practically ringing, and in an all-encompassing sensation of déjà vu, it seemed surreal. Her brain worked quick to analyze his proposal objectively, but her heart asked, Why challenge it? Even if he was speaking from a place of passion or sudden emotion, in the throws of this moment, she could hardly care. She wanted him to come. After this whole week, she admittedly needed him to.

And he was offering to come. Offering in such a way that indicated he very clearly wasn't planning on accepting 'no' for an answer— which was good. It gave her absolutely no room to overthink the impulsive decision they were both encouraged to make.

"Okay…" She said softly.

"Yea?" He raised, a grin breaking across his face.

"Yes." She assured him.

Eager and excited, Morgan wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tight, and she hugged him back. Granted, they still had a lot to figure out. What they would become or how they would work this out was a mystery. Was it a relationship by traditional terms or just a passionate extension of their friendship? Neither of them were completely certain.

All they really knew is that they were comfortable with each other, right now they needed each other, and they shared a special kind of love. Simply embracing those facts and being together was the first step.

Once they finally broke apart, Morgan stayed behind a little while longer to help her repack her piles and piles of things. They put every loose item and every stray piece of clothing in its proper suitcase and then sat the bags neatly at the door. After this, Emily went to the restroom to wash up her face. She wasn't gone for long (or so she thought), but when she returned, she found Morgan resting. His shoes were kicked off and he was lying on his back on the bed.

Tiptoeing over to the bedside, Emily sat on the edge next to him and was ever so careful not to wake him. His breathing was slow and heavy, it mesmerized her. Somehow the way he rested also reminded her of the start of those heinous 24 hours. Back when she awoke in that room and had to, ever so kindly, slap him across the face to wake him from the same abduction drugs. The brunette stifled a laugh. She did feel a little bit bad about doing that.

Reaching out, she traced her finger along his jawline, and let her knuckles tenderly brush against stubble on his face. He shifted in the slightest, his dark brown eyes cracking open just enough to see her above him, looking completely enamored.

"Like whatcha see?" He mumbled.

"Mm yea, the view's alright." She shrugged.

"I can leave." He volunteered, suddenly but sluggishly pushing up off the bed.

He was still obviously tired, but recognized that he'd overstayed his welcome. And while him making himself comfortable on her hotel bed would have been overfamiliar under usual circumstances, it was not the case any longer. He was right where he needed to be. Moreover, she wouldn't have him leave when he seemed as exhausted as he was. She knew the feeling. Especially as another round of slumber was beckoning her, too.

"No, it's okay." She said, pressing his shoulder, "Stay."

Without protest, Morgan fell back onto the pillow. And as he easily returned to his previous state of rest, Emily pulled the fuzzy blanket at the foot of the bed over his body. She then came around the other side of the bed, and pulled herself underneath the same cover. Mindlessly, he turned on his side. She snuggled close but he snaked his arms around her torso and pulled even her closer.

"This is going to sound very out of the blue," Morgan intoned from his sleep, "But I'm just now realizing we couldn't use a condom when we…"

"Oh, don't worry," She said,"I have an IUD. It's been 99 percent effective so far, so we're safe."

"Alright, good…" He trailed.

Emily snickered,"Can you imagine me having your babies?"

Morgan chuckled,"Yep, all 24 of them." He joked,"Lord willing, we're making a little Prentiss-Morgan every hour."

In their spooning position, he couldn't see her roll her eyes. But it was heavily implied as she soon followed it by playfully jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow.

As they laid there, all huddled up like two birds recovering from a horrific storm, Emily considered how absolutely out of her mind she was just a few minutes earlier. This was right. And while her leaving seemed to pose an ill-fated situation, and him coming along posed it's own set of future complications, it was still apparent that refusing this all together would've been a mistake.

After a week of what seemed like pure disruption, confusion and chaos, the equilibrium they had been desperately searching for was restored. He was warm, and this felt so much like home. She didn't need to spend anymore time being conflicted, or silencing that ever-present voice. Much like in that room, everything was now laid bare. And though neither of them would have ever chosen to endure that experience, admittedly something good came from surviving it. They were stronger for it, individually and together.

Just then, Emily shifted, flipping all the way over so that she was face to face with him.

"Derek?" She whispered, and waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, it sent a little thrill racing through her, and a small, appreciative smile plucking at her lips.

"Hmm?" He hummed, peering at her through half-lidded eyes.

"Thank you…" She breathed.

Morgan returned her soft, bright expression with his own sleepy smile, "Always."

It didn't matter what exactly she was thanking him for. It could have been array of different things. Forgiveness, perseverance, for deciding to come, for refusing to leave, for being with her through this whole journey. All of it or none of it, she knew she could say those two words and he would understand. His response would never change.

The future still held uncertainty, but the security in that exchange alone was all either of them needed to be sure of. Planting one last kiss on his lips, Emily resettled into his embrace. His strong arms wrapped around her as he buried his face in her hair. Snuggled close, their bodies effortlessly conformed to each other. And as a peaceful atmosphere, filled with nothing but the sound of their soft breaths, covered them, Emily and Derek drifted off to sleep.

A/N: And that's it. If you all need me, I'll be sobbing. I love them, and as challenging as this story has been to write, I've had so much fun. Thank you all so, so very much for joining me (especially after my abrupt hiatus). I appreciate all your feedback. I love hearing how you like this story. It makes me feel good knowing you all enjoy it because tbh, I've always been reluctant to share my work. But thank you again. I don't want to make any promises because I do have other obligations, but I could see mayyybe starting a sequel to this. Again, no promises. But it is floating around in my head... Okay. Bye, friends. Demily be with you. xoxo