Chapter 22

Percy found Irene standing in the surf on the opposite side of the Bosporus.

He glanced back across the strait toward the city. Few would come out this far onto the Asian side of the strait. It was mostly because there was nothing of worth on the Asian side, but it also wasn't very accessible. It might've been a decent area for an enemy camp, though.

Her hair was cut to about shoulder-length, but with the strong ocean breeze, it still danced with the wind. She was dressed in summer clothing. Most men would probably berate her for wearing such revealing clothing, since she was a woman, but there was little wrong with it. She still covered up what was most important.

As if on cue, she turned around and saw him.

Percy waved and joined her along the shoreline.

"You found me?" she asked, clearly surprised to see him.

He stepped into the water and felt the power of the waves flow through him. "The Trio noted that you weren't present during the meeting. I presume that you're taking a break, given Theodora's condition."

Irene turned back toward the city. She didn't say anything, but her eyes told him the answer he asked for.

She had chosen a good spot to take a break. It was a hot, sticky day. Being near the water and taking in the sea breeze was refreshing in comparison. He figured the heat was stressing her out. There was nothing they could do about Theodora's death. Percy had his hunches on how to treat it, but many of the doctors and the staff in the palace didn't believe what he suggested. Moreover, he wasn't sure if he was right. If he was wrong, he would probably end up killing Theodora anyway. The only difference would be that he would be blamed for her death rather than the illness itself.

"If you could be reborn again, what would you choose to be, if you could?" she asked.

Percy was surprised by the sudden question, but quickly regained his composure. "I've never thought about that."

"I would like to see what it's like being mortal," she said. "Like, fully mortal. I can't see any of this world. The Mist would blind me to reality."

"Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Or, you know, at least have lived a normal life." She smiled sadly as she started at Constantinople. "I would've loved to live in a world where I didn't have to worry about surviving. Even if there were dangerous people around me, I would still be relatively safe. And this world would be less punishing to women. I would be able to do what I do without being looked down upon. I would grow up, fall in love, start a family, have children of my own."

Percy looked at her. This was the first time she'd mentioned her internal desires to him. They'd spent the last few months together in Constantinople, which was the closest they'd worked in a long time. They'd both changed since the last time they were together during Caesar's Civil War. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but she just felt different. She felt more comfortable to be with.

"Hard to imagine with my past, isn't it?" she chuckled.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm being a little depressing right now, aren't I?"

"A little."

She turned to face him and let out a forced laugh. "Sorry. I'm not exactly a bundle of joy."

"You don't have to be," he shrugged. "I get it."

She sighed. "How evil are we that we mourn the deaths of our loved ones while simultaneously seeking the deaths of those we oppose?"

"Evil? Is it evil?"

Irene stared at him. "Of course it's evil."

"We're built for war, Irene. We're not built for peace. We're tribal, petty and self-absorbed. That's how the gods created us. We have the capacity to live, love and play. But when it comes down to survival, we'll do nothing but fight. How can anyone survive such a society? By supporting the ones closest to us and dehumanizing those we don't identify with. Are you suggesting that humans are inherently evil?"

"Maybe we are."

Percy wasn't expecting that answer. He blinked and stared at her for a little while, trying to decipher if there was any hidden meaning beneath her words. But he couldn't find any.

"Evil... Evil is a subjective definition. The way I interpret it may not be the same as the way you interpret it. To me, evil is normal. It is those that go beyond and above with kindness and empathy that transcend wickedness. Why is evil normal? Because, for the most part, you need to be evil to survive."

"Then what's the whole deal with trying to convince me not to march on the legions?" he asked. "You've always wanted to stop me."

She shook her head. "Save you. Remember that. I want to save you."

"Then why would you save someone from evil when they are evil to begin with?"

"Because I am evil. I am self-absorbed. If you continue down your path, I no longer get to enjoy your company. I no longer get to see you laugh and live. I will no longer be able to see you as a human. You will have descended into little more than a daemonic spirit, and I must live on, alone, carrying on your legacy."

The wind died for a moment, and her hair fell gently to her shoulders. The only sound in his ears was the lapping waves below them, rolling in toward the land and then retreating back to its home. The sky was birdless, and the city sounded silent from across the strait.

"That is the difference between me and the rest of the world," she said. "They want to see you bow in submission. I want to see you smile freely."

The wind returned, throwing up her hair again. For a moment, all of his worries and thoughts disappeared. His mind went blank aside from the still image of what he was seeing in front of him. Looking at her like this, one would've been hard-pressed to believe that her first real crime was murder.

He thought about his first quest. Even if Jason was trying to reclaim his throne, the Argonauts were, in fact, exactly like raiders. They sailed on a boat with the intent of stealing something from an unassuming kingdom. They were thieves.

It wasn't like Perseus, who killed a demonic monster that turned innocents to stone. It wasn't like Theseus, who was sent to kill a monster that had killed dozens of innocent Athenians in years prior. Even Heracles, who had stolen golden apples from the garden of the second-most villainous Titan that had ever existed, could be rationalized.

Colchis had done nothing to them. And, in the process of stealing the Fleece, Percy had killed several of the guards chasing him. Without even thinking.

"You should smile, too," he told her.

Irene raised an eyebrow.

"I'll take a page form your book. I'll be more selfish. I want you to live your life for you. Not for me."

"I told you, I'm—"

"Thinking you're selfish for wanting to see me smile is stupid. You should do the things you never got a chance to do. Join the Hunters. Or fall in love and start your family."

She shook her head. "I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"First of all, I'm infertile. I always have been, even as a mortal. It's why Deiphobus liked me so much. Secondly, I made an oath to Olympus. Who could I possibly fall in love with? There's no one besides you and I in this fight. There are no other immortal heroes like us. Can I even fall in love with you? Do you really think you could love me?"

Her eyes were blue in that moment, reflecting the glittering sea.

"You've only ever loved Zoë. You still loved her when you returned from exile, after you endured all that shit in the east. And, as for me, how can I love someone else when I can hardly love myself?"

Percy reached out with his two index fingers and pushed the corners of her mouth up in an artificial smile. "You should smile, too."

Irene slapped his hands away and gave him a murderous look. "I dare you to do that one more time."

He obliged and pushed the corners of her mouth up.

"You're asking for it now!" she exclaimed.

He blocked the kick aimed for his manhood and immediately jumped into the water. She was glaring at him, but her eyes were shining with bright energy. She looked more like she was going to pinch his nose than she was to gut him with a knife.

"Try and catch me," he teased, swimming backwards.

"Stop and turn around!" Irene barked.

A wave of magic washed over him, and half of him immediately began fighting for control over his motor functions. His thoughts, fortunately, were still on his side. She was using her charmspeak. All of it. If she wanted to, she could be an extremely powerful diplomat. Even with all the resistance he'd built up, her charmspeak in full force was difficult for him to handle. He thought he was immune to it, but he clearly wasn't.

His mind shuddered as he wrestled for control. In the process, a small wave rose up and rained down on the shoreline. Suddenly, his mind cleared and he gained full control of his senses. He looked up and saw a disgruntled looking Irene standing on the beach, soaking wet from her shower.

Percy swam back to shore and walked up to her, suppressing a grin. "I didn't think it rained today. You didn't bring a parasol?"

Irene huffed. "You. Suck."

He laughed and put his hands on her shoulders, trying to help her dry. He closed his eyes and focused on removing the water that had been soaked up by the fabric of her clothes.

"That's good enough," she said after a moment, gently pushing his arms away. "It's hot enough that the rest will dry on its own."

"Sorry about that," he apologized.

She gave him a small smile. "I need to cool off anyway. I wasn't really sure where our conversation was headed, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise."

Percy noticed her bottom garments were still wet, sticking to her body awkwardly. Her hair was also wet. It was darker than usual.

"It's okay. I'll help you dry up."

He grabbed her hands and placed them on her hips. Resting his own hands on top of hers, he focused on removing the water out of the fabric and depositing it on the sand below their feet. Her clothes looked less awkward after he was done, hanging freely as they should have been. He then reached up to dry her hair so that the little droplets of water wouldn't trickle down her neck and be absorbed by the collar of her shirt.

"You can stop touching me now," she said when he was done.

"Sorry."

He pulled away, able to hear the thumping of his heart in his ears.

There was a brief pause as the two of them stared at each other. He wasn't sure what to say.

She broke the silence. "I mean it, though. If I chose to be reborn, I would be a regular mortal. Have you decided what you want to be?"

He pursed his lips. What did he want to be, if he could choose?

"An animal? A son of Athena instead of Poseidon?"

"I guess..." His thoughts began to settle. There was only one thing that was coming to mind. "I guess, if I was human again, I don't really care who or what I turn out to be. As long as I have someone like you in my life. I'd want a friend who will stick by me through thick and thin. Of course, I'd want them to cut ties when I go overboard, but other than that... someone like you as a friend or a family member would be nice."

"Me? Not Zoë? Or the Trio?"

"No. Just you."

He would give it a shot, just like she wanted. He would try to live without causing trouble and strife. He would fight the Romans because they were attacking the Greeks, not for any other personal reason. He would play and laugh and live.

He would take someone like her, who wanted to see him smile, ten times out of ten, instead of someone who wanted him to stop because it was the right thing to do.

It was funny, considering she'd been that kind of person in the past. But everyone changes with time.

"Percy! Irene!"

Thanas jogged up to them, his expression solemn.

Percy met Irene's eyes. He had a feeling he knew what happened.

"Empress Theodora... She's dead."

Leon wanted to honor Theodora as best as he could, but funerals just weren't his thing. He held up as best as he could for Ionna's funeral because of Xanthe and Thanas. For anyone else, it just became a painful reminder of what he did to his uncle and a fear that his mother would be next.

"Not a fan of funerals?"

Leon turned to watch as Thanas walked up from behind and took a seat on the bench next to him. His expression was solemn and understanding.

"It never gets easier," Thanas sighed, looking out at the view of the strait. They were sitting by the shore in a secluded area that Empress Theodora often brought them to for private discussions. "I can confirm that."

Leon pointed north, deeper into the strait, wanting to change the topic of conversation. "The Clashing Rocks were there back in the day, right?"

Thanas nodded silently.

"Percy would've been on that journey. I wonder what it was like to sail with Jason and the Argonauts."

"I'm sure neither of us would have been as successful as Percy," Thanas said. "Given our fathers and all."

Leon cracked a smile. He was right about that.

"Have you assimilated yet?" Thanas asked, turning to look at him curiously. "Do you understand us now? As Greek demigods? Do you feel like these are your friends?"

Leon smiled wistfully as he kept his gaze fixed on the horizon. "I miss Home. I miss my family and the others in the village. But I can't say I regret coming out here. Everything feels more natural, more comfortable. I don't have to hide who I am. And, almost from the very beginning, you and Xanthe have been great to me. You've been kind and helpful and inspiring."

"Especially Xanthe?" Thanas raised a knowing eyebrow.

Leon shrugged, unable to stop the smile from creeping up onto his face. "Believe me, Thanas. Even if it doesn't seem like it, I really do want to help honor Ionna."

The son of Hades clapped his shoulder. "Thanks, Leon. I really appreciate it. It's hard letting go. But we have to continue the fight. If not for Ionna, then for myself. To protect the others. Even if it costs me my own life."

Leon took a long look at Thanas. In the past few months, Thanas had become more controlled and determined. After mourning the loss of Ionna, Leon expected Thanas to lash out like Percy had. He expected Thanas to want to follow Percy to destroy the remaining legions. But he didn't. Thanas knew something that he wasn't aware of. Leon suspected Xanthe was equally unaware.

But Leon didn't prod. Maybe it wasn't something he was meant to hear.

"We'll all fight," Leon told him. "For all of us."

"There you guys are."

Leon turned to see Xanthe approaching. She wore a tired smile.

"I was wondering where you'd run off to, Leon." She paused and seemed to realize her mistake. "Oh, and you too, Thanas!"

"Just a little chat," Leon said, trying to return her smile. "Get away from the funeral for a bit. It's too depressing."

Thanas gave a quiet chuckle and stood up. He glanced at Xanthe. "Well, since this little fish calls me the depressing one, I suppose I'll go and join the depressing funeral. You two can stay here and take a break. I'll fill in for you."

Xanthe gave Thanas a skittish look. Her eyes darted back and forth, as if she was nervous. "No, no. It's okay. You don't have to fill in. I can go back. You're better at talking with Leon anyway. I'm just... I mean, I'm not really the best—"

"Like you don't want to spend some alone time with Leon," Thanas snorted. His gaze was sad but warm, like he wanted them to live together in lieu of the relationship he'd once had with Ionna. "Stay. I'll see you both later. Oh, and, by the way, this little viewing point is actually off limits for the funeral. So it's... private for the rest of the day."

Before Xanthe had an opportunity to complain, Thanas shot them a smirk and left.

Leon patted the bench, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that they were alone. He tried to act cool. "Sit. You've been standing the whole day."

Wordlessly, she nodded and sat down.

Knowing she was too tense to start the conversation, Leon decided to do the talking. "We're different from the others. Even Thanas. While we owe loyalty to our friends here, a part of us is stuck somewhere else, desperately clinging on to the family we left behind. It only makes this whole war more devastating because we can be taken advantage of."

She nodded again. "Yeah."

"With Theodora's death, the future becomes uncertain," he continued with a sigh. "Will everything be alright? Will Percy and Irene be able to handle this? Everything is becoming more stressful the closer I get to everyone here. Can I protect them all like your mother wanted us to?"

"I... I don't know."

He turned to face her. "Neither do I. The only thing I am certain of is that I don't want to lose my family, both old and new."

She met his eyes and suddenly began to tear up.

Instinctively, he reached out and pulled her into a hug.

"I shouldn't... I don't deserve any of this."

She sniffled into his shoulder, and he held her tighter. Even though she was warm, he felt empty and cold inside. Seeing her sad hurt him more than watching his mother mourn his uncle. He could never escape the guilt and sorrow of being his uncle's killer. But seeing Xanthe cry was the only thing in the world that could eclipse that pain.

"My... my mother is dead. I killed my brother. I don't deserve to live as a hero. But I can't stop wanting to fight and to live and to destroy the Romans. Am I... am I evil? Am I the villain?"

"I don't think there are any heroes or villains in this story." Leon patted her on the back, trying to soothe her heartache. "I'm the same as you. I killed my uncle that day we first met."

She shook her head, still burying her head into his shoulder. "You don't understand. It's not the same. I... I started to have nightmares. At first, I was dying. I was failing to accomplish our targets, our goals. The Roman were winning every damn battle and it made me mad. Even when it was the same battle over and over and over again. But then... then Thanas was the one dying. I... I got angry. I tried to fight back, to avenge him. And then... and then..."

Xanthe broke down again.

Leon had a feeling he knew what her nightmares entailed. A chill went up his spine, and his heart suddenly felt heavy in his chest. "Then... I started to die?"

"I couldn't..." She stopped to catch her breath, shaking in sorrow. "I couldn't control myself. I did the things that we saw Percy do. I'm afraid, Leon. What if I turn into the demon that Percy was after Mei's death? What would I do if you died?"

Leon couldn't find it in himself to even crack a joke. It was mostly because he'd had the same thoughts.

It was irrational because they'd only really known each other for a few months. But he cared greatly for Xanthe. Out of all the people he'd met at the Greek camp, she was the one he was most afraid to lose. He didn't know why he liked her. Her looks had to have been a part of it, but there was something deeper, as if the Fates had intertwined their strings.

"It makes no sense," she said into his chest. "Why am I so scared to lose you? When I've known everyone for years, why is it you that I'm most fearful of losing?"

He forced out a joke. "Maybe you find my charm irresistible."

She didn't look up, but she lightly punched his shoulder. "This isn't the time."

"Honestly, I liked you at first sight," he admitted. He kept his arms around her, resting his chin on the crowd of her head. "I guess the mystery of that daughter of Poseidon kept me up at night, making me wonder what this world really had in store for me. We were young, but you were still cute. I thought about you every so often. Kind of wondered what it would be like if I met you again."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying."

"Liar."

"I swear to Poseidon. I mean, I don't really know why either. But the more I talk, the more it seems to come out. Honestly, I just remember thinking about you once in a while. I wondered what you looked like. I thought you'd be beautiful, but when I saw you on that hill at camp in your armor, I'm pretty sure my heart nearly stopped because you were beyond what I'd imagined."

"Now you're just flattering me."

"At least it makes sense, though. About why I care about you so much."

"You're making me feel embarrassed."

"I hope you are embarrassed." Leon rubbed her back soothingly. "You won't lose me. I won't lose you. I promise that if we die, we die together. And if we live, we live together."

"You can't make that promise—"

"I'll make it anyway."

She pulled away form him, her eyes puffy and red. "Last time, Ionna made a promise to Thanas and look how that turned out."

"I don't care. We're different."

She stopped sniffling, staring at him like she so desperately wanted to believe it.

He wasn't sure where the confidence was coming from. There would, undoubtedly, be more funerals in the future. But he would make sure that the funerals were Roman funerals, not Greek funerals. He wouldn't endure any more of this depressing shit.

"I won't promise to marry you when all of this is said and done. I won't promise you an abstract future. But, from this moment onward, I promise you that we will stay side-by-side. Until the end."

Xanthe looked into his eyes for a moment. He couldn't read her gaze, but he could see a hint of raw hunger... raw lust.

"I want to say I love you," she mumbled, "but maybe I'm just really fucking horny."

Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in for a deep, passionate kiss that quickly built up into much, much more.

As Thanas said, it was a private area. So why not?

He was horny too.