Chapter XX
„If there is a thing called Destiny..."
Nothing more dangerous than a short rain right before dawn happened during the rest of that night. The sun that greeted us was hazy, the chill of the morning discreetly sneaked into the mansion through ajar windows.
I was sitting with Asuna at the table in the upstairs room, discussing what happened a few hours ago. Eugeo didn't join us. He didn't even leave his room for breakfast this morning. I was terrified, that the appearance of Sitriel's murderer would toss my friend back into the half-dead state that we have just managed to pull him out of. To my relief though, when I brought the breakfast to his room, he just seemed a bit down and a little tense. I tried to convince him to eat with us, but he just gave me a little smile, said he would like to think about some things alone, that I should be careful and that me and Asuna shouldn't worry.
And so we sat there, just the two of us, worrying.
"I really don't know what to make of this..." Asuna sighed, propping her chin on her hand. "How did he even manage to sneak in here?"
"Well, he did look and sound like Eugeo so flawlessly that even I got fooled." The sheer thought of it caused another chill to run down my spine. "It wouldn't be surprising if none of the servants noticed..."
"Unbelievable..." Asuna stabbed the slice of apple tart in front of her with a little fork, lost in thought. The subtle scent of rum, that the fruits were soaking in before landing in the dough, reached me with the tiny breeze that came in from the balcony door. "What is even more curious, Eureo's sirath didn't warn him at all. He said he rushed upstairs only because the noise woke him up."
"But his sirath reacts only, if Eugeo himself is in danger, doesn't it?"
"Maybe, but do you believe, that this man came here only to get on your nerves a little? I think we all should expect some danger from him."
"You think he will come back?"
"Well, I'm sure he didn't show himself to you just for fun tonight. For me, it smells of trouble like a meadow smells of hay. But tell me... didn't your sirath react to him?"
"It might have, but I didn't know... I always take it off for the night, it's a little uncomfortable. I'll never do it again even if it should poke a hole between my ribs..."
"I see..."
"You know what was the most curious thing to me though?"
"What?"
"He said he's not working for Sharish anymore, because their viewpoints became too diverse. What could he have meant by that?"
Asuna looked me in the eyes, tilting her head slightly. I noticed that she had that adorable habit when she was thinking about something intensively.
"Interesting..." she murmured. "Although I'm not entirely sure what's worse for us: him under the command of Sharish or him practicing his merry business on his own... Still, I have a feeling that doesn't change much. Among people like them you never know who is in cahoots with whom, and who he's betraying... and it means trouble for us either way."
We fell silent for a moment. I pensively traced the stem of my goblet with the tip of my finger and then started to swirl it delicately. Observing the remaining juice rotate along the crystal walls helped me to concentrate somehow.
"There is one more thing that doesn't give me any peace of mind..." Asuna's voice brought me back to reality a minute or two later. "How did you manage to summon a flame so strong, that it was enough to drive away someone so powerful and burn some furniture atop of that? You tried it only once in your life before that, as far as I'm aware."
"I'm not entirely sure either..." I murmured negligently and downed the rest of the nectar. It was wonderfully refreshing, but unfortunately didn't brighten my thoughts. "I was just furious..."
"Anger is not a good solution Kirito," Asuna got very grave all of a sudden. "As a last resort, it can be used as a source for the fire, but you shouldn't do that. Just keep to what I told you earlier."
"Why? Does that make any difference?"
"Yes, it does. Hate isn't able to drive hate away, it can only make it grow more. And that's the best scenario. It's the same as with darkness not being able to drive away darkness. Only light can do that. So please don't do it again, alright? It will be better for you that way, trust me."
"Alright... if you say so."
"Still... you just keep amazing me. You seem to learn quicker than me and Eugeo combined. Which rises our chances of survival and victory..."
I sighed silently. "Don't you think this is all pretty stupid?" I asked suddenly.
She watched me for a few moments, as if trying to grasp the context of my words. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well... this whole conflict... is all of that really necessary? Does it make any sense?"
"It doesn't."
Upon hearing such a quick and unhesitating answer I lifted my eyes from the goblet.
"You're right when you think it's stupid," Asuna continued, smiling gently at my surprised expression. "I don't see how it makes sense either... but do we have any other choice? I don't think you want to die without resisting? Personally I won't let them have their way... it might be true, that sometimes it's more interesting to just let destiny carry you and see what it has prepared at the end, but I don't want to regret anything. I like you... no, I love you both like my brothers. So even if I am destined to fight or maybe even die, then I don't want it to be pointless. I want to fight for what's important to me and protect something, that is worth any sacrifice. For the ones who make the remnants of hope shine in this world. For all the wonderful times and memories we shared, so that we can have even more in the future. I think this is the secret of being happy: to find even the smallest things that warm up your heart and make sure you have them with you on every step of you journey. Take these tarts that Kaan makes for example," she finished in a lighter tone and impaled the last bit of apple with her fork. "You can immediately feel that he knows what's important in life."
"Yeah right... even with the choice of his ladylove he had an amazing intuition," I joked. "He is a wise man indeed..."
When she looked at me again, there was a mix of amusement, embarrassment and the desire to scold me sparkling in her eyes. Despite my humorous tone though, I was being honest. Asuna was a girl perfectly composed from beauty, intelligence, warmth, resourcefulness, zest for life and many other things... I was a bit jealous of Kaan, but I was still happy for them.
"I'm sorry, I know I talk stupid sometimes..." I smiled gently. "I just can't help but have these strange thoughts every now and then..."
"What thoughts?"
"That the fight with Sharish is pointless for example. Even if we do get rid of him, there always will be someone, who will try to harm others in one way or another. Sometimes I even wonder if we could just take all our loved ones and flee somewhere, where we wouldn't have to worry about any of that... I know it's selfish but I just can't entirely drive these thoughts away..."
"It's not really that strange. I think most human beings would feel that way if they were in your position." Asuna seemed to think about something for a moment, before she spoke again: "Let me share a tale with you, one that goes around my folk. A long time ago, where the Silivren Forest grows today, there was the sea. After many years of ruling over the region, it started to go back bit by bit, giving the space up to the land. Noone really knows why that happened, but the sea, furious at this state of things, started to lash out at the shores with its waves, making countless sea creatures stay helplessly on the sand. A young boy, an elf from a nearby village, walked along the shore every day, picking up every living thing he found and throwing them back into the water. One of the druids noticed it one day, watched the boy for some time and finally walked up to him to ask why he's doing it. According to the druid, the boy's efforts were completely pointless, the sea would just keep washing the creatures upon the shore all the same, so what he's doing doesn't have any meaning. The boy looked the druid in the eyes in silence for a moment, then bent over to pick up a fish, lying on the sand between them, and tossed it into the water. He looked at the man again and said: 'To her, it meant the world...'"
For a long while, I wasn't able to turn my gaze away from those wise eyes.
"I bet there are countless people similar to Eugeo in Earlindon..." she continued almost inaudibly, as if wanting me to focus all my senses on her next words. "If, a few days ago, I would have told you that what you are doing is pointless, that what you are doing doesn't have any meaning, because there will always be someone in this world, who will be unhappy just like him... would you have given up?"
I closed my eyes, exhaling shortly. A small smile found its way to my lips. "No way I would have... I'm sorry... and thanks for the reprimand."
Asuna giggled quietly. "Everyone needs one every now and then, even me. But since we are talking about Eugeo... you should go to him. And once you're there, don't let him shoo you away and try to convey that message. Locking himself up in his room won't change anything."
"Gladly," I stood up. I looked her in the eyes once more, smiled gratefully and slightly bowed my head in respect, before heading down.
Once in front of Eugeo's door, I gave it a soft knock. When no answer came, I did it again, determined to follow Asuna's advice. But when even the third knock was left unanswered, I warned, that I'm coming in and slowly opened the door. I raised my eyebrows. The room was empty. "Eugeo?"
Upon looking around my gaze suddenly fell on the mirror, that was situated just opposite the door in his bedroom. One little detail caught my attention... I approached it and took a closer look at my face.
Even in daylight, my eyes weren't the stormcloud dark-grey anymore. They were black, intense like fresh ink I used to write my notes with not so long ago... They looked exactly as they did that night, right before...
I suddenly felt a freezing chill surround my heart. As fast as I could, I ran back to the library upstairs.
„Regret nothing...
What you regret might kill you..."
I'm still not sure about this relationship Asuna is having here... I'm also not quite happy with the title of this chapter... oh well...
By the way, I have uploaded the full version of the cover art for this story to my Twitter. You can find me (and lots of my other art) as Yasenka Glorfindel or YGlorfindel there. I will provide a map of Earlindon there soon as well.
Thank you all for reading, favoriting and follwing. See you in a week! ;)