Alrighty! Another chapter is finally here, thank whatever god it is you all believe in.
Even though this is a pretty long chapter, it is also pretty shitty. Between feeling like I need to finally finish this seeing as I started on it over a year ago and writers block fucking everything up, this is the best I could do for this particular chapter. This is also why it is divided into 4 or 5 sections. My brain did not have it in it to fill in the details inbetween, so please forgive me for that.
Like usual, reviews are welcomed with open arms!
Lots of love XOXO
First time for everything
A week and a half had passed since Grace had told Steve that she had feelings for him before he had left with Joe to find the notorious and reclusive Shelbourne. A week and a half had passed without hearing from Steve and Grace was losing her mind. Sure they weren't an actual couple, but considering the things she revealed to him while standing in his driveway she imagined that would possibly be the direction they were moving towards. Or not. What did she know? Very little when it came to relationships, seeing as she actively avoided getting into them. She had been for most of her adult life.
The watch on her wrist told her it was just past midday and the sun was shining through the window of Wailana, blinding her if she sat to close to it. Danny had called her about an hour earlier and asked if she wanted to meet him for coffee. Naturally she said yes, Danny was a good friend and she liked his company. But she also secretly hoped the reason behind their meeting was Steve, and that Danny had heard from him.
"Here you go, regular black coffee with a splash of milk." Danny said as he sat her cup down in front of her before sliding into the seat opposite of her. "Thank you," she smiled at him and took a sip. Taking a sip of his own cup he looked out at the people walking by them on the other side of the window before looking back at her. Deciding that beating around the bush was unnecessary considering the circumstances, Danny told Grace the reason why he'd asked her there without sugar-coating it; "Steve found Shelbourne."
Feeling a wave of relief roll through her, the tension she'd been carrying in her shoulder's since he left finally let up a bit and she felt lighter. "You've spoken to him?" she asked, not wanting to jinx things by getting prematurely excited about what he had just told her. "He called last night,-" Danny said before taking another sip of his coffee. "He didn't give me much to go on, but he did say that Joe had taken him to Shelbourne and that he is coming back. He lands in about an hour and I'm assuming he has this Shelbourne character with him."
Glad he was ok and that he'd found Shelbourne, Grace smiled to herself at the though that she would soon see him again. In addition to excitement, she also felt weariness and slight discomfort. She couldn't tell if it was because she was still a bit unsure about what direction she and Steve were moving in or because he'd found Shelbourne and was bringing whomever it was back to the island. Shelbourne had been nothing but a name that had cause nothing but trouble and confusion for so long, she wasn't sure she wanted to find out who it was. And what the connection to Steve and his family was.
"He actually found Shelbourne, I was honestly starting to think it was just an urban legend after all this time." Grace said.
"You and me both," he grunted back, clearly not too happy about the whole Shelbourne being brought there either.
Wanting to ask if Steve had told Danny anything else during their conversation, she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the ringing of Danny's phone. "Williams," he answered in his usual gruff tone. She studied his face as he took in the information he was being fed by the person on the side of the call and although she couldn't hear what was being said, she could very clearly tell it was bad news and that it was stressing Danny out.
As much as she wanted to find out what was going on, Grace turned to look out the window to let him finish the call in peace. She quickly zoned out and started to study the people out on the street. She wondered where they were going, where'd they'd been and what their lives where like. Like so many other people, she had a tendency to get stuck in her own life and her own bubble, forgetting there were other people out there with their own sorrows and problems.
She and Tommy were still not speaking. She knew the only thing she had to do was apologize and tell him he wasn't wrong. About her and her family. But no matter how much she knew deep down he was indeed right, saying it out loud would make it real. It would become not just something he thought, but fact. And that meant she would have to dredge up a lot of buried crap and take a good look at herself in the mirror. Something she wasn't quite ready for yet. Not because she though Tommy would start to hate for real if she did, but because she was afraid she would start to hate herself. And that what a road she was nowhere near ready to walk down.
Following a kid happily stuffing his face with ice cream, Grace was brought back to reality by Danny's voice. "We have a problem." His voice was strained and he looked like the world was about to implode on itself. Suddenly worried, her brows furrowed. "What kind of problem?" she asked him cautiously, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. "Wo Fat escaped. He's in the wind, he left two bodies behind and Steve is landing in under an hour with Shelbourne. Who we both know Wo Fat would love to get his hands on."
Feeling like she was about to throw up, Grace took a deep breath and tightened the grip around her coffee cup so much she was surprised it didn't break. "How?" she asked, her teeth grinding to keep herself from screaming in frustration. "Apparently there was a helicopter involved. I'm going there now, do you think you could go to the morgue and check on the dead bodies? I don't want to risk anything getting missed, we can't afford it when it comes to Wo Fat."
"I'll go right now," she answered, taking a final sip of her coffee and getting out of her seat. "I'll call you if I find anything," she told Danny as he also was getting out if seat and headed for the door. If there was anything on those dead bodies that could help catch Wo Fat she was going to find it.
Pulling into what was apparently a safe house, although it looked like it had a lot of soft spots for breaching, Grace went over what had happened the last hour and a half in her mind. Wo Fat had escaped, Steve had landed with Shelbourne who turned out to be his believed to be dead mother, the dead bodies at the morgue told her nothing except how they were killed and Steve had called to ask her a favour. A pretty big favour to say the least. When he'd first asked her she thought she'd heard him wrong. That the joy she felt about hearing his voice was messing with her head or something. But it hadn't and she had heard him right.
He wanted her to watch over his mother while he went out to hunt down Wo Fat. Apparently he didn't trust anyone else. And thanks to her own carelessness he already knew she'd been in the military, which meant she at least knew her way around a gun. Tommy may also let it slip while having beers at the Hilton that she had a knack for hand to hand combat. Something she'd had a hard time explaining seeing as on paper she's never been anything but a doctor and a medic.
As she put her car in park and turned off the motor, the knot in her stomach she'd pretended wasn't there during the ride over became impossible to ignore. Not only was she going to meet Steve's mother for the first time, she was also going to be responsible for keeping her safe. Her and Steve wasn't even a proper thing yet so to say it was just a bit too much pressure for her to handle was an understatement. Reaching over the centre console to open her glove compartment, she grabbed the gun she kept there and stuffed it into the back of her jeans.
Pulling her hair into a ponytail as her last attempt in preparing for what she was about to walk into, she pushed the car door open and stepped out into the warm afternoon air. Taking one last deep breath she locked her car, pulled her top over the waistband of her jeans to conceal the gun just a little and headed for the door.
She was greeted by the SWAT guys as she walked up the stairs to the front patio and she greeted them back. Most of them she'd seen before, which made feel a bit more at ease. Reaching out to knock as she got to the front door, her hand stopped mid-air as the door opened before she could actually knock. As she looked up to see who had opened the door, she was pleasantly surprised to see it was Steve. "Well, hello there," Grace smiled at him, genuinely happy to see him in person after almost two weeks of radio silence. Smiling back at her, he stepped out onto the patio to stand opposite her. "Hey."
"So your mother is alive and she's Shelbourne?"
Not sure on how to answer her question Steve just shrugged his shoulders, "yeah." He honestly had no idea how to even try to explain it, he didn't even fully understand it himself. It all seemed too much to be true, and yet it was. Because his mother was sitting on the couch inside the house. And as much as he was angry about her faking her death and everything that happened after, she was still his mother. And he wanted her to be safe.
So when he'd found out that Wo Fat had escaped he knew he'd have to put her in a safehouse. But just having SWAT outside didn't feel like enough so he decided to have the one person he knew would do anything to help, without asking look after her too.
When he had hear Grace's car pull up to the house there were a lot of things he wanted to do. Standing opposite her about to introduce him to his mother so she could protect her was not one of them. Sure he wasn't mad about them meeting, but he wanted her alone and for himself. For the past week and a half, since he'd left and she'd told him things would be continued the only thing that had been on his mind was her. Her laugh, her smile, how she always seemed to smell like vanilla and lavender. A smell he had come to love. And now that she was standing there, in black cargo pants and a plain white t-shirt, he didn't really know what to say or do.
"So, are you going to let me in or should I just stay out here all day?" she finally asked him, after a minute of them just looking at each other. Like it was the most natural thing for them to do. "Right," he gently smiled at her as he opened the door for her. Stepping inside Grace did a quick once over trying to establish an overview of the place and where the best and worse places to hide if something would happen where.
As she stepped further into the living room area of the house a woman walked out from what she assumed was the kitchen. She was just a little taller than Grace with golden, dark blonde hair and a smile that reminded her of Steve's. They weren't too much alike, with Steve having dark hair and blue eyes compared to his mother's green ones, but you could see that they were related.
"You must be Grace?" she asked as she walked up to her and Steve with her hand stretched out for Grace to shake. "I am, it's very nice to meet you ma'am." Grace greeted Steve's mother and shook her hand. "Oh, please. Call me Doris." Grace wasn't quite sure what she'd expected from the woman who had faked her own death 20 years earlier and left behind a husband, son and daughter, but the warmth Doris was giving off was definitely not it. Although it was a nice surprise.
"I tried to tell my son that I am perfectly capable of protecting myself, but he doesn't seem to be hearing me." Doris told Grace in a humorous tone. "I wouldn't take it personally, it's a SEAL thing is what I've come to understand." Grace smiled back at Doris, finding it nice that she could tease Steve a bit in front of his own mother. "Yes, I suppose that's probably it." Doris smiled as she took a look her son. Looking back at Grace she gave her yet another smile, "I was thinking about making some tea, would you like some?"
"Yes, thank you. That would be lovely." Grace smiled back as Doris excused herself and headed back to where she had appeared from earlier.
Turning her attention back to Steve she shook her head in amusement at the expression he was wearing. "I like her," Grace said. "I am sorry in advance. I have a feeling she's not going to be the easiest to deal with." He groaned, partly regretting asking Grace for help. "She's your mother Steve, of course she's not going to be easy to deal with."
Glad that Grace wasn't completely thrown off by the fact that his believed to be dead mother was now making her tea made Steve happy. It was a lot, and probably more pressure than he should be putting on her. But he trusted her, and he needed his mother to be safe.
"The doors and windows have been secured, SWAT is outside and I'm only a phone call away if anything happens," he told her, clearly worried that something would go wrong. Putting her hand on his arm she squeezed slightly to reassure him "Steve, we will be fine. Like you said the house is secured, SWAT is outside and we are not going anywhere until it's safe to do so, ok? I will look after her like she' my own mother." The second the words left Grace's lips she immediately regretted it and she could feel her fingers going numb. Like they always did when she felt like she'd said or done something stupid.
"That came out wrong," she very quickly shot out. Putting his hand over hers that was still resting on his upper arm, he smiled at her amused. "I didn't think so."
As the hours went by Grace started feeling more and more uncomfortable with the fact that she was stuck in a house with Steve's mother. There was nothing wrong with her, she was quite nice actually, but Grace felt like she was being analysed at all times and it was something she'd never liked. She was also, for obvious reasons, a little bit unsure of how to handle the situation. Up until that morning Doris McGarrett had been dead. It was a lot to take in for Grace, and sitting opposite the lady wasn't making it any better. They were on their third cup of tea and Grace could sense that Doris wanted to ask her something, she just wasn't sure of what.
"Where in Ireland are you from?" Doris suddenly asked, confusing Grace as that was not a question she was expecting.
"I was born in Armagh, but most of my family is from Belfast and Newry."
Raising an eyebrow Doris seemed surprised by what she had just been told.
" Lots of IRA in all those places, Armagh and Newry especially. Must have been something growing up around all that." Seeing as Doris had previously been in the CIA Grace wasn't surprised that she about the IRAs long history in that part on Northern Ireland, but she was surprised that she brought it up.
"It was fine," Grace told her as she sipped her tea, straight up lying.
"You have a lot of family there?" Doris again asked, this time with a hint of suspicion.
She knew there was no way she could avoid asking Doris' questions, and she knew she had to step carefully if she didn't want to be caught in a lie. Doris McGarrett was after all a previous intelligence officer and knew the ins and outs of avoiding these types of questions, which meant Grace couldn't use the method she usually did when people asked about her family and her past.
"Close family, not so much. But it's Ireland so everyone is related to everyone and everyone has about a hundred cousins if not more." She decided to actually tell this woman the truth, about all of her family, except her father and except what they did for a living. Seeing as that was something she yet had to share with Steve and the rest of her newfound ohana here on the island, she was not about to spill it all to a woman who faked her death for 20 years.
"I have three older brothers, two aunts, three uncles, about five close cousins and a two dozen distant ones. There's also Tommy who I grew up with and who came here to Oahu with me."
Like she was waiting to catch Grace in a lie, Doris listened to every word she said with laser focus. "No parents?" she asked. Stepping a little gentler this time, knowing it could be a touchy subject and even though she was a little wary of the lady that very obviously had a special spot in her sons life, she didn't want to tear up old wounds. She just as well as anybody what a touchy subject family could be.
"My mom died not long after my 4th birthday and my dad died when I was 10. I was raised by my mom's brother and sister, plus my brother's pitched in every now and then with some advice. Some of which was good and most of which was bad."
Darkness had fully engulfed Oahu by the time Grace pulled up the driveway to Steve's house. After Wo Fat had come after Doris at the safe house and Steve had sent her away, Grace had gotten a text. Steve had invited her over for a drink, and to talk she presumed although the text only mentioned the drink. Desperate to see him without the presence of other cops and his mother, she had quickly, accepted the invitation. Maybe a little to quickly. But she didn't care. For the first time in a very long time she didn't care if she seemed overly eager or interested, didn't care if she seemed desperate, didn't care that it took her less than a minute to read and reply to his message. She just needed to be near him. After almost two weeks without either seeing or talking to him, all she wanted to do was be in his presence.
It only took a few seconds between her knocking on the door and Steve opening it to greet her with a smile. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but still a smile. Grace gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she passed him on her way into his house, and embraced the warmth his body radiated. That was one of the things she'd realised she' missed the most while he was gone. His warmth. It wasn't just something that radiated from him though his personality, but also physically. And it made her feel safe, without fail, every time.
"Hi," Grace smiled at him as she turned around to face him after scanning his living room. Not because she was looking for something, but to see if her memory of it was correct. It was something she did, tried memorising her surroundings, no matter where she was or why she was there. It was a built in defence mechanism, in case she had to get out quickly.
"Drink?" Steve answered her as he headed to the kitchen. Grace followed him silently, not bothering to answer seeing as she technically already had already said yes to the drink when she accepted his invite.
He went straight for the fridge and opened it, reaching for two beers before kicking the door shut with one leg. Popping both caps while still not looking at Grace he again started to walk away. This time out the back door and onto the beach behind his house. Grace again followed him without saying anything, using the time to scan him top to bottom from the back. Memorising how his shoulders moved when he walked, the muscles in his back, his ass… everything.
As they reached the two chairs by the water Steve handed Grace one of the beers and finally said something. "Thank you for watching over Doris today." He glanced at her while sitting down in one of the chairs and smiled, this time the smile seemed a bit more real, but not fully. "Of course," Grace answered him, sitting down too. "I like her," she continued. "I can see where your stubbornness comes from." She smiled to herself at the thought.
"Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not," Steve chuckled. She looked over at him, he was staring at the water in front of them, seeming to be in a completely different place in his head. "Is everything ok?" she asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep.
Her question drew a deep breath from followed by a big sip of his beer from Steve. "She shot at the floor." Was all he said, but Grace didn't need to ask to know who he was talking about. "When Wo Fat came to the house?" she asked, needing to know exactly what had happened to give a proper answer. Although she didn't think one could ever come up with one of those in a situation like this. Steve nodded and looked over at her, confusion very clear in his expression.
"And you didn't get to ask her why because by the time you'd found out she was already on the plane?" she said more than asked, but again wanting to know exactly what had happened. Steve nodded again in response while taking another big sip of his beer.
Grace was good at a lot of things, but family relations was not one of them. And right now Steve needed to be told something she wasn't able to say. Because she didn't believe it. And no matter how much she wanted to make him feel better, to feel less confused and conflicted, she did not want to lie to him. So she didn't. Instead she did the same thing Tommy did with her when she was in a similar situation to Steve's.
Raising her beer bottle slightly toward him she took a deep breath and said a toast. "To messed up families and the lies they tell. May it not leave us completely fucked up for the rest of eternity and may we one day manage to be at peace with each other." Finishing her terrible attempt at replicating one of the many toasts Tommy had given her about family over the years, Grace placed her bottle to her lips and downed half of it.
"We can always hope," Steve whispered in response and finished his bottle.
45 minutes and one more beer each later, the mood had shifted and both Grace and Steve felt more light hearted. It may have something to do with the alcohol consumption, but only to a certain degree. The silence between then was comfortable and Grace cherished every minute of it. She wasn't used to feeling at ease with this type of silence.
About a hundred things were running through Steve's head, but one thing was screaming a bit louder than the rest. "To be continued…" What Grace had told him before he'd left with Joe to find Shelbourne. Three simple words, words he himself had told her too before, yet words powerful enough to take up permanent residence in his brain. Every spare minute, every second of quiet since he'd left almost two weeks prior, those words had played in his mind. Like a broken record. And he didn't know what to do about it.
On one side he wanted to bring it up and see if she really had meant it when she'd said it, or if it was a spur of the moment thing. Like their interrupted moment on her couch months earlier. All the while he also wanted to pretend he didn't remember it having been said, so that in case she hadn't meant it, it would just be brushed under the rug to be forgotten so they could move on with their lives.
"You're quieter than usual." Grace finally said, breaking the silence.
She hadn't planned to be the first one to open her mouth and say something, but no matter how comfortable she was with the silence, she needed to know where they stood. And she needed to know now. "Just thinking," Steve replied, angling his head to look at her.
Raising a brow, Grace couldn't help but smirk at the tone of his voice. "About?"
"To be continued," was all he said, giving her a smirk back,
"And what exactly is it that is to be continued?"
"You tell me, you're the one who said it remember." Steve was intentionally teasing her now.
"You said it first," she pointed out, setting her empty beer bottle down in the sand and turning her body more towards him in her chair.
"Oh really? And when did I say that?"
"In my living room, while we were both almost naked." Grace didn't hold anything back, wanting to see where this would or could go.
Remembering the events leading up to him telling her that made Steve hot and bothered. Just like he'd been that day. Like that day he couldn't seem to stop himself from glancing at her lips every few seconds or stop his heart from racing at the thought of her hands on him. Her skin, her lips, her smell. But unlike that day he wasn't gonna let it end the same way. Cut short.
"Want to remind how we got to that point?"
Grace didn't need a whole lot of encouragement. To finish what they had started that day was something she'd thought about a lot and she wasn't going to let the chance pass. Pushing herself out of the chair she closed the small gap between her and Steve who was still seated and gently, with slow movements, put her legs on each side of his and sat down to straddle him.
The feeling of Grace so close made Steve's heart pick up speed a bit and when she sat down in his lap he had to take in a quick breath off air. Locking eyes he placed his hands right above her knees and ran them up her thighs until they reached her hips.
Steve's hands on her body made Grace lose every single though she had and without waiting a second more she crossed her hands behind his neck and kissed him. It wasn't gentle, it wasn't soft. It was desperate, it was rough, it was everything she hadn't known she'd wanted from him. Threading her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, Grace pressed herself into his hard torso, wanting to be as close to him as possible.
As Steve moved his hands around her waist and gave a light squeeze, Grace couldn't help but let out a moan. She was in heaven. He was in heaven. They were in heaven together and neither of them could really understand anymore why they had intentionally kept this from happening from so long.
They were both fighting for dominance, either of them the submissive type, and it wasn't until Steve placed his hands on Grace's ass and stood up from his seat with her in his arms one of them gave it up. If anyone ever asked about it Grace would deny it, but the feeling of safety that washed over her when Steve lifted her and started to walk into his house with her wrapped around him made her not care if she was in charge of their kiss or not. For the first time a long time she let someone else take charge and she loved it. All of it. The feeling of his hands on her ass, his hard chest pressed against her soft one, his tongue dancing with hers.
When Steve stepped into the dining area he gently put Grace down on her feet, but never disconnecting their kiss. It was like they needed it to survive. And in a way maybe they did. Pulling the porch door shut behind him, he slowly started guiding Grace further into the house, towards the stair that lead to his bed.
Grace's hands were everywhere. In his hair, his shoulders, his biceps, his waist. There wasn't a single inch on his body she didn't want to touch, to get to know like it was her own.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs Steve finally broke the kiss, not just to breathe but also to make sure. He needed to make sure she wouldn't regret it in the morning. Needed to make sure things wouldn't be awkward.
"I don't need you to ask me if I am sure," Grace told him sternly while panting slightly. "I need you to kiss me again and I need you to take me upstairs."
Not needing to be told twice, Steve bent down and put his hands around Grace's legs before hiking her up over his shoulder. The action caused Grace to let out a gasp and a chuckle.
"Nice ass you've got there, Commander," she teasingly told him as he walked up the stairs with her slung over his shoulder.
"Ditto," he answered and smacked her ass as he walked through his bedroom door and halfway threw her on his bed.