20 days.
20 days without shelter.
20 days without Shane.
20 days surviving on squirrels, a few berries and barely treated water.
Me and Rick were yet to speak. I'd barely spared a glance in his direction, though I knew his eyes were constantly on me. Carl had told me that he was the one to kill my brother's corpse, that he saw Shane turn, and he shot him before he could attack Rick. He was too young to be fighting that kind of pain, after he'd told me he never wanted to use a gun again, then being forced to shoot a man he'd idolised for most of his life.
Daryl had officially donated his poncho to the group, and we were beyond grateful for it. It was mostly used by Carl and Lori, the latter gaining sympathy due to her pregnant state, and the former getting it when his mother wasn't using it. I'd stolen it a few times, though I usually ended up giving it to one of them, feeling guilty for using it when I had my jacket.
Me and Daryl were also the main hunters of the group, not that we could catch much. The weather was declining, and so a lot of animals had gone into hibernation, or just weren't around.
We'd squatted in an old warehouse last week, though we had to move on a few days later, as a large herd of roamer's arrived at our doorstep, begging to be let in.
We set up a small camp in the woods yesterday, a few yards from the road. I was sat next to the fire with Coco, watching the sunrise just above the treeline. We hadn't caught anything last night, so all I had to eat was a few berries that I'd scavenged, though they didn't last long between me and the dog.
"Fuckin' hell!" I hear a loud yell coming from the tents behind me, and I whip my head around, my eyes landing on Daryl. He was on his knees, his left foot tangled into his sleeping bag that was already halfway out of the tent. I smirk, relishing in his moment of clumsiness.
"You good there, Dixon?" I call, raising an eyebrow in his direction. He curses again loudly, before yanking his foot from the dark cocoon, muttering darkly as he stalks towards me.
"I'm fine," he growls gruffly, throwing himself down next to me, pawing at his barely open eyes. I nudge him with my elbow and smile when he sends me a death glare through narrowed eyes.
"Is it too early for Big Bad Crossbow Man?" I coo, laughing loudly when he leans in to slap me upside the head, though I dodge it easily.
"Shut it Princess, or you'll wake up in the forest tomorrow," he snarls, rubbing sleep from his squinting eyes.
I furrow my brows, my face scrunching up in mock confusion. "I wake up in the forest every morning Darlin', your threats are gonna have to be more creative," I sing, crossing my arms tightly over my chest, trying to save my body from the morning chill.
"Just-be quiet," he sighs, throwing his spare jacket over his shoulders.
I smirk once more, turning back to the few berries I have left in my palm. The rest of the group begin to emerge after that, probably roused by Daryl's loud yelling. Soon the entire group is surrounding the fire, each of us talking amongst ourselves.
"We need a place to stay. Me and Daryl are going out to scout this area, see if there's anything nearby" Rick tells us suddenly, checking his gun for rounds. Daryl looks at him in confusion, though doesn't hesitate in readying himself.
"What for? We've been in the same area since the farm, we won't find anything," He grumbles, throwing his crossbow over his shoulder. Rick doesn't reply, only spinning on his heel and heading in the opposite direction.
I nod at Daryl, encouraging him. "You may as well go, Lord knows he'll leave without you anyway."
He returns my nod, before jogging off, catching up with Rick. I push myself to my feet as well, grabbing my gun from beside me. I had a full magazine, unlike most of the group. Since the farm, we'd lost practically all of our ammunition, and I was the only one with back ups. The box I'd snagged from the porch had barely been touched, and I knew it wouldn't be for a while. The large herd that had been wandering around the area seemed to be making itself at home, and if we fired a gun they'd come running.
"T, we should go get more firewood," I call across the gap, looking at T-Dog. He smiles, and pushes himself up, grabbing the rifle slung over his back. I grab a small hatchet from the bag, shoving it through my belt, before we set off, Coco leading the way towards a small trail we'd spied last night.
We get a few minutes into our search before either of us speak, both of us comfortable in our silence. "You think they'll find a place, or nah?" T murmurs, his eyes completely focused on looking for wood.
"Lori's pregnant, and the temperature's dropping everyday," I mumble. "Rick'll find one, he won't leave his wife hangin'."
"Yeah," he replies quietly. "Not that their marriage is holding up well." It was true, Lori and Rick had barely looked at each other since the night of the farm. We had all seen how close Shane and Lori had been, maybe even closer than any of us truly knew, and finding out Rick had murdered him must have been shock. It was a shock for all of us. T-Dog had walked off ahead, and I jog to catch up to him.
We'd been walking for nearly an hour when the trail widened, breaking off in two separate roads. Me and T throw a glance behind us, before walking towards the right track. It leads us through a dusty lane, trees lining each side, with multiple rusting signs guiding our way. A large building grows before us revealing two large shops; a department store and an independent foodstore.
I scream loudly, my excitement overwhelming me, before T-Dog smacks me on the arm, his eyes locked on a few walker's making their way towards us.
"We have to get the others," I say breathlessly. "Dude, this could solve all of our problems!"
He nods before dragging me back down the road, uncomfortable with the closeness of the roamer's. "It's at least an hour's walk back, so we're gonna run, okay?"
I nod swiftly, before both of us spin on our heels, each of our legs spinning madly to swiften our pace. Coco easily matches our speed, and often scouts out ahead, checking for walker's. We get back in just over 45 minutes, though neither of us are able to speak for a few minutes due to how out of breath we are.
"Why did you run back? Did you see a herd?" Carl asks me after I've caught my breath. I shake my head, needing to reassure the small boy.
"No," I explain. "But we did find a place to hole up in for a while."
The entire group gasps, and we are bombarded with questions. "What is it?" Glenn calls.
"You'll see when we get there," I laugh. "But we can't go until the boys are back."
"Can't go where," a loud voice calls from behind a tree. I narrow my eyes, recognising the voice, even before he steps out from behind his hiding place.
"We found a place to stay, while we were out gettin' firewood," I say, my face void of all emotion, despite the happiness bubbling inside me.
"Is it safe?" Rick asks soberly, his face contorted in something similar to pain.
"Only a few walker's," T says, feeling the tension rolling off the conversation.
Daryl steps over to me, his eyes glinting with pride. "Let's go, then," he calls roughly.
We all pack up quickly, shoving our tents into bags haphazardly. We don't have much to bring with us, and we're done within 10 minutes. I drive one car, T-dog in the other, and Rick driving the final one. We move in a line, with the entire group following me. It takes me a moment to find the trail, though I do eventually, and I can feel the excitement increase in the car. We pile out, none of us able to stay seated for much longer.
"Lily, you stay outside with Lori and the others," Rick orders. "Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, we're gonna sweep both buildings." I narrow my eyes, but decide to stay quiet, knowing my argument would fail anyway.
They take longer than expected, and I grow restless waiting for their return. Despite the conflict between me and Rick, I still held a deep respect for him, and I hated how much I still cared for the man.
Maggie emerges from the department store, beckoning us forward. "It's clear. Y'all can come in," she calls, a smile plastering her soft features.
I walk slowly into our new home, and I can't prevent the grin from worming onto my face. The tall ceiling highlights our minuteness, and the shelves reach to heights we could only hope to gain. All the lights are burned out, though there is a large sunroof creating a soft glow throughout the building. Coco abandons me, deciding to follow the Grimes' family, their silence more comfortable than my squealing.
I wander through the aisles, my eyes gliding over each item, taking in the abundance of stuff. I finally reach the clothing aisle, and run my hands through the soft material of clean clothes. With so much choice, I find myself struggling to choose an outfit. I finally decide on ripped grey jeans, with a black v-neck t-shirt.
I quickly grab clean underwear, and hide in the corner peeling the dirty clothes from my body. I throw my belt on the floor beside me, my holster following swiftly after. My shirt and jeans come next, dirt so deeply encrusted in them they seem to be a permanent shade of brown. I slip my boots off and pull on a new pair of knickers. I unhook my bra and throw on a new one.
The new clothes come on quicker than the old ones came off, and I relish in the feeling of the clean clothing hugging my body. I fasten my belt and holster around my waist once more, and yank on my thick boots, lacing them up quickly. I return to the clothing aisle and collect a large grey hoodie, the sleeves far too long to fit me. Pulling it on, I smile deeply, before continuing my walk around the store. I see Daryl walk into a back room and I follow him quickly, hoping for some company. I see it's a small store room, probably used as a social space for employees, and scan the area.
Daryl notices my presence and nods at me. "You got new clothes," he wonders aloud. I raise my eyebrows, smiling lightly.
"Yes, sir. You could probably find somethin' in your size. I could help you, if you want?" I wait for his response, though all I get is a grunt, his head bent low. I roll my eyes continuing my search of the room. My eyes land on a dusty box, partially concealed by a blanket.
"Holy shit," I murmur, my hands gliding over the dusty box. I can feel Daryl moving behind me, and his hair brushes my ear.
"What is it?" He whispers, flicking his eyes between me and the box. I roll my eyes before turning to face him.
"It's an old school Mp3 player. And it has a speaker," I exclaim, throwing my hands into the air. He smirks before grabbing it off the shelf, quickly ripping off the tape sealing the box.
"You think it works?" He mumbles, trying to get into the packaging. I grab it from his hands, terrified he'll break it.
"I hope so. Someone wouldn't have hidden it in the backroom if it wasn't worth it," I explain, my gentle hands working at the difficult packaging. It takes me a few moments, but I'm soon pulling the device from it's container, along with a set of headphones and the speaker. Me and Daryl share a glance, both of us wearing smiles. I fire it up, my fingers crossed, desperate to hear a melody.
The screen lights up, and we both let out a huge whoop, and I jump into the air. I click on the songs button, and find it only carries one. I furrow my eyebrows, glaring at the title.
"Demo song? What does that mean?" Daryl asks incredulously. I shrug my shoulders and hit the play button. We both listen intently, though no sound escapes it. I growl lowly, and raise my hand, prepared to hurl it as far away as possible. That is, until Daryl grabs my thin wrist, preventing it.
"Piece of shit doesn't work," I snarl. He shakes his head, taking the small device from me, and grabs the speaker.
"Maybe it needs to be plugged into this," he tells me calmly, his head bent over it. After a few seconds a soft tune fills the room. I vaguely recognise the song, though I know the singer. Dean Martin's deep voice echoes around me, and my smile returns, brightening my face considerably. Daryl smiles back at me before striding to my side. A mischievous smirk is painted on his lips, and his eyes glint with emotion. His back bows, and his hand hovers next to my arm. "Care to dance, m'lady?"
Laughter bubbles from my mouth, and I shake my head with mirth. "How could I turn you down?" I giggle, taking his rough hand into mine. He spins me around, barely catching me as I inevitably fall. He seems to be on a roll, spinning and dipping as if he's done it his whole life. And maybe he has, maybe that's his big secret.
I allow him to throw me around to his hearts galore, though despite how much I'm being thrown, each move is gentle and precise, carrying the weight of his care.
My mind forgets everything we've been through, and allows me to live in the moment. Daryl lets go of my hands, and backs away, his shoulders shaking with both laughter and dance. I follow his movements, shaking my hips and shoulders in turn.
We do this for a while, both of us laughing and giggling, allowing the song to play on repeat, neither of us having the heart to turn down the only music we'd heard for months.
He pulls me to him awhile after we'd slowed, his arms clasped around my waist, my own resting on his broad shoulders. We sway on the spot, both of us completely immersed in the rising tones of the song.
The minutes turn into hours, lively bouncing turns into calm swaying, fear turns into warmth, and friendship turns into something more.
It is in this moment that I know. I know the pull I'm feeling towards Daryl was more than friendly attraction, and I knew that loving a man such as him was a foolish mistake, though that did little to quell my need for him. Love came with its downfalls, weakening its victims, infecting them with a softness few could tolerate. It slowly kills you, poisoning your every cell.
I don't like Daryl. I can't. I won't.
The lyrics stay with me all night, Martin's words echoing between each bone in my body as I try to fall into the deep water's of slumber.
You're nobody 'till somebody loves you, so find yourself somebody to love.
*The song I used here is called "you're nobody 'till somebody loves you" by Dean Martin. All rights go to him and his label*
A/n Sorry for disappearing on y'all, I had a bunch of work due for school next week, but I did write a cute Daryl scene to make up for it :) Comment what you think, I love reading predictions and criticism :)))