Chapter 19
Raven sat deathly still on her chair. A sense of dread and fear was washing through her and she knew she was moments from a panic attack. She felt as Victor rubbed her back in soothing circles and she heard Dick telling her to breathe.
She took a deep breath but felt it come out shaky followed by tears.
She felt something jump on her lap and begin to pur. She assumed it was Gar. She looked down and it was indeed a small green cat.
All her friends were trying their best to calm her but she could feel herself begin to hyperventilate.
This had never happened before. She had panicked before, yes, but usually her powers went haywire. Instead now she felt like she couldnt move, like her powers had abandoned her and she was going to die of lack of oxygen. Everything had just been too much for her to comprehend anymore.
"I told you it was a bad idea to tell her," it was blunt and honest voice of Damian.
She heard Dick respond with something but it blurred.
"Raven," Victor continued. "We'll find out who took the body. I promise."
Raven wanted to reply with hope and enthusiasm. She wanted to say she believed in them but...
She took another deep breath.
"What if he isn't dead?" She finally said.
Her vision had cleared somewhat and she could see all the worried faces looking at her.
Dick had stood in front of her and placed both hands on her shoulders then looked her in the eye.
"Then we will stop him," he said. "We've done it before. We can do it again. He will never get near you again and if he tries, we will help you Raven. Not that you need it because we all know how strong you are. This was all just a huge mess that we will get over. One day at a time Raven."
She nodded and continued to take some breaths. She stood up and walked out, she needed space.
...
Seeing Jason made her feel slightly better. His face was relaxed. He looked like he was sleeping but he wasn't. She knew better.
Jason had yet to wake from his coma. He hadn't moved, he hadn't made any noise.
"You need to go eat something," Tim said from his bed.
Raven looked towards her best friend. He had woken up a week ago after a whole month of also being in a coma. He was still recuperating and hadn't been able to fully regain his strengfth. But he was alive and he was recovering.
"I'll be back in an few," she said as she stood. "Ill bring you back something, okay?"
Tim, who was still obviously exhausted, nodded.
It had been a hard month for everyone.
It had been a mad scramble to try and get everyone involved the help they needed. Raven herself had been bed bound for two weeks , many tests run on her to make sure she hadn't been cursed or to make sure that she wouldn't suddenly drop dead.
In the end it had seemed that while the Lazarus pit had been successful in healing , something had gone wrong in keeping it stable. Something about a contamination that caused everything to go haywire. In the end it didnt matter, any trace of the pit had been destroyed in the end.
Raven was making her way down to the kitchen when she heard crying from the room across the med bay.
Both Dick and Kori had walked out, frowns on their faces.
"He still doesnt want to eat?" Raven asked.
The he in question was the baby.
In the end it seemed that everything hadn't been for naught. The pit may have not survived but the only reason for its creation was to save the boy and he had been saved.
But he was having a hard time adjusting. He had been deemed a healthy and normal human child who theoretically would begin thriving. The problem was that he refused to eat or sleep and he was constantly crying. He had been poked, prodded, had IVs stuck in him in attempts to get him thriving but nothing seemed to be working.
"Nothing we do seems to work on the bumgorph," Kori said with a frown. "Victor thinks that a feeding tube could be necessary if he does not start accepting a bottle soon."
Raven frowned.
"Physically and neurologically he should be fine," Dick began. "But even though he's just a baby, I think everything had an emotional and mental effect on him that he can't get over. He's scared and there's nothing we can do to help."
Raven frowned. She knew where Dick was going with this. For the past month she had been avoiding the boy. He was the reason this entire mess had while she knew that he had no choice in the actions his mother took...she still couldn't help but want to avoid him.
But he was just a scared baby. A child who had no say in the actions of his parents.
"Maybe I can help," Raven began.
"I know its hard Rae," Dick said placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "But he's just a baby."
She nodded and went into the room.
He was in the middle. Different diagnostic medical devices were around him. It was loud and quiet at the same time. She felt his fear the moment she walked in.
Frowning she made her way to his crib and looked down at him.
He had seemingly inherited more of his fathers looks. He had darker skin and was green eyed like Damian but he did have his mothers nose. He was honestly a beautiful baby boy.
His pretty green eyes were tearing up, the droplets wanting to fall down his cheeks. Raven reached into the crib and rubbed away the tears.
He immediately stopped crying and looked up at her, the cutest and most bashful smile she had ever seen on his face.
"Here," Dick said hurriedly forcing a bottle into her hand. "Feed him. See if he'll take the bottle from you."
Raven nodded and picked him up. Quickly she put the nipple of the bottle to his mouth and he began to suckle.
Raven felt a sense of calm and happiness flow through her. The hungry baby had just learned to eat and something about it , something about seeing him begin to thrive, made her happy.
So there was at least that silver lining.
...
Cold, dark, dreary and quiet.
That's all he seemed to feel. Was he dead again?
He didnt feel dead. He just felt...stuck.
Suddenly he felt a warmth. A soothing and calming presence washed over him.
"Wake up soon."
The words were muddled but he still understood. She was calling out to him. She wanted him to wake up. She was waiting for him.
He needed to get back to her. That's all he knew. So he closed his eyes and hoped that when he opened them again, it would be to her eyes.
...
The first thing he saw when his eyes opened was the bright white ceiling.
He didn't know where he was or what was happening but for some reason he felt panicked.
Why did he feel so panicked?
He tried to recall his last memories but everything was fuzzy.
Staring hard at the ceiling, he searched his brain for any form of memories. He saw Tim and Dick, he saw an island. He saw that horrible pit.
Then he saw Raven.
Raven.
He suddenly sprang out of the bed, understanding why he was feeling so panicked. He began to tear at all the lines and monitors. He had to go find her. He had to make sure she was okay. He had to...
He felt multiple hands push him back and then someone was cradling his face.
His blurred vision began to fix itself and he found himself looking straight into her eyes.
"Raven."
She was standing right in front of him. Her beautiful face smiling at him. He had never felt such happiness or relief.
"Jason," she said, a smile on her beautiful face.
She was the most beautiful thing in the world.
"What happened?" He asked as he began to relax.
Both Tim and Dick were there. Bruce and Damian were headed in as well.
"Its aong story," she replied. "I'll tell you but let's get you fully checked over firsy. Okay."
She seemed worried and he didnt blame her. Lasy he remembered was taking a dip into a homemade Lazarus pit. He wasn't even sjre if he was okay.
"Alright," he replied. "Lets see the damage."
...
After a few long hours of testing him, he had been officially declared in recovery stage. He wasn't exactly in tip top shape and he knew. He was honestly exhausted and sore. Sore as hell.
But that wasnt going to stop him. He would show her how much he loved her, however he could.
"You're so beautiful," he said as he traced his hand up and down the side of her torso.
She was still clothed, much to his displeasure, but to just be able to touch her...
He kissed her fully on the lips. He wanted to savor her. He wanted to touch and taste every last inch of her. He wanted to make love to her and never let go.
"Jason," she said with a groan and pushing his hands off her thighs. "You are not strong enough for that much strain."
"Raven," he groaned.
"Are you even erect?" She asked suddenly.
He flushed and turned his head away.
"Just relax Jason," she said with a giggle. "It took two weeks for Tim to finally have enough strength to even walk. So please try to take things slow with your body."
He huffed and laid down. She raised herself to be above him and looked at him. She had a pretty smile gracing her lips and he couldnt help but smile back.
"I'm sure if i try hard enough I can get..."
The words died on his mouth when she covered his mouth with her hand and gestured to the door.
Tim was standing there looking more awkward than usual.
...
Raven removed her hand from Jasons mouth and looked back to Tim.
"What up tim?" She asked standing from the bed.
"I hate to bother you but..." he was struggling to get the words out, she could tell.
She understood what he was trying to say though. Idris was calling out for her.
Idris had been the name given to the sweet baby boy by Damian. The older Al Ghul was adamant that since the baby was his blood, he would be the one to give him a fitting name. Damian said he knew the baby would be a smart and studious man one day and deserved a name that showed that. Raven liked it.
Jason didnt quite know about Idris yet which was an issue. But they had to tell him. Idris was going to be here for atleast a few more weeks by Bruce and Victors calculations.
"I'll be right back," she said kissing Jasons cheek.
"Okay," he said, sounding suspicious.
Raven nodded and followed Tim out, fully planning to introduce her love to the little boy whose mom had almost killed them all.
...
Jason liked the picture that was beautifully painted before him.
Raven was currently sitting on a chair feeding Idris.
When they had brought in Idris to let him know he had survived, Jason had stayed quiet. He had been surprised and had felt some sense of anger. He knew it was misplaced anger at the babies mom but she was dead and as was human nature, he felt angry at the closest thing. That had been Idris.
But then he saw how Raven looked at him and how she held him and he knew something no one else wanted to say out loud.
It made him realize that he his anger was misplaced and needed to just...go away. So it did and three days later...he knew what he had to say.
"Raven," he called.
She turned to look at him, happiness and serenity showing on her face.
"Hmm," she replied.
"Whats going to happen to him once he gets a clear bill of health?" He asked.
He hated having to ask. Especially since her face fell in sadness and worry.
"I...I dont know yet," she replied. "Bruce said he was going to start looking for placement in a few days. I'm sure he will find the perfect place."
Jason saw how much even saying that was hurting her. Her face had fallen into a frown and she had unconsciously brought the baby closer and tighter to her chest.
"Do you really think that's a good idea?" He asked sitting up and trying to stand.
He had been able to regain enough strength to move and walk a little. Raven didnt like it but he needed to be near her right now. It was only a few steps.
"Jason," she scolded as he plopped himself next to her.
"Answer the question Raven," he said. "Is sending him away a good idea? Look at him, look at you."
She looked at him. Her eyes wide.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Adopt him," he said bluntly. "He's obviously bonded to you. Look at him. Look at how he looks at you. And don't deny that you don't want to send him away. You want him with you as much as he wants to stay with you."
Raven didnt look taken back or surprised. She just looked like a cross between scared and contemplative.
"How could I even begin to think of doing that?" She said with a frown. "Look at me, I'm not fit to be a mother. And what about you, are you going to take on the role of his father?"
Jason looked down at the baby. He wans't sure if that's what he wanted to do. It was a far off idea in his mind. He didnt even know if he wanted kids in his future. But then seeing Raven hold Idris made something inside him flicker to life.
"You already are being a great mother to him," he began. "And I can't answer myself. I don't know...but this isn't up to me or anyone else. It's up to you and you know that you'd have all the support of this entire family as it is. I'm just saying that you should do what you think is right."
Raven ran a finger over Idris' small, soft cheek. He smiled and snuggled into her bosom even more.
"I think Jasons got a point," Tims voice said coming from the door.
He hadn't noticed the other man and was a bit shocked to see him there.
"Its been on everyone's mind," he said walking in. "How close you two have gotten. Bruce thinks hes imprinted on you because of the magic used to save him being your magic."
Jason saw Raven frown again.
"I think its just fate," Tim continued as he walked in.
Tim sat at the arm chair next to her.
"I think that hes meant to be yours," he continued. "And I think you think this too."
Raven nodded but also frowned.
"He could be in danger one day," she said. "Talia Al Ghul is MIA. Who knows if she will ever try to lay claim on her half brother...Slade..."
Jason felt his blood boil at the mention of that monster.
Raven had told him what had happened just yesterday. Then to hear that Slades body had not been recovered.
"Slade is dead," Tim said seriously. "I'm betting it was Talia who took the body. And to me that gives me more reason to keep Idris here with us and with you."
Jason nodded and agreement. Still, Slade had come back before...
"He would be safer with us, wouldnt he," Raven said as she began to play with Idris. "I dont know if I can ever be a good mom but I think your right. His place is here with us."
"With us," Jason repeated.
Tim patted her shoulder.
"Things are going to change again," Raven continued.
Jason rolled his eyes, he also saw Tim smirk.
"When are they not changing?"
...
End
This chapter was hard! And there's the end of the story but there will be an epilogue of sorts in a few weeks so stay tuned and also dont be surprised to find a new JayRae by me in the near future. Make sure to check my tumblr or ao3 for new materials as well!
demonqueenbeee
Thank you to all my readers who stuck with this fic!