Ben
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for still following this crazy story. Is anyone else getting their PM's in their emails? I know I'm not. So, I apologise if you've sent me a message and I haven't responded. Until I sign into my account, I don't see them!
Chapter Thirty-One-Charlie, Esme and Carlisle
Esme's head swam with half-formed regrets as she sat by Luka's bedside and watched him sleep. Carlisle's sickening ultimatum had left her feeling like a caged bird. She had just begun to stretch her wings, and see the vast possibilities that her new life could offer her. It wasn't until she broke free from Carlisle's influence that she realised how much he had controlled her. All he wanted was to lock her back in her frozen prison, to make her afraid to pick the lock so she would never break free. The heartache she felt was like a red hot coal had been placed underneath her ribcage, it glowed and burnt her at the same time, but it did not cool quickly like coal in water, it throbbed and tortured her as she thought about all she had to lose.
"I love you so much, Luka. I don't want to leave you, but I won't put you at risk." Esme murmured sadly as she leaned down and placed a cool kiss on his forehead. He stirred restlessly, but did not wake fully. She gazed at him despondently for a little while longer before slipping quietly out of the room to call Charlie Swan.
Esme didn't expect the police chief to turn up so promptly when she called. She opened the door to him barely ten minutes after she had informed him that she was no longer in a position to foster Luka and other arrangements would need to be made for him. Charlie had been astonished by this quick turnaround from her. He had tried to talk to her about it, asking if it was because of something Bella might have said, considering his daughter had expressed her disquiet with Luka staying with Esme.
"Please, don't ask me anymore." Esme had pleaded with him quietly before her composure cracked and she had abruptly ended the call.
"I hope you don't mind me calling on you when its so late." Charlie said awkwardly as he hovered in the doorway. He was carrying Ben, who was dozing against his shoulder.
Esme's lower lip quivered as she ushered them inside and closed the door behind them. She wasn't prepared for visitors. Seeing little Ben-looking so adorable but so vulnerable-cradled in Charlie's arms, broke her. She struggled to hide her emotions and was forced to quickly turn away before Charlie saw the sadness reflected in her eyes. The last time she had experienced grief this bad was when she had lost her only child. Now it felt like it was happening all over again.
"You shouldn't have come, Chief Swan." Esme mumbled as she fought to hold it together.
"I was concerned." Charlie replied cautiously. "You didn't sound like yourself on the phone. And I think we can dispense with the formalities. Please call me Charlie."
Ben yawned widely and began to dribble on Charlie's shoulder. Esme glanced at him and couldn't look away again. She found herself reaching for him. Charlie let her take him. Esme cradled Ben against her, gently smoothing his hair back from his forehead. He yawned again and snuggled his head under her chin. Esme felt the same protective rush of maternal love that she always felt around Ben. She glanced at his sweet face to find that his eyes had opened. His face glowed from a light within. She felt his fingers grasp hers as she touched his hand. He held on tight as his chocolate brown eyes found hers and to her astonishment, she found that they were glassy with tears. He knew! Somehow Ben knew that she needed comfort, he knew that she needed some form of joy in the midst of her pain. She held him to her chest tightly, wishing she didn't have to say goodbye to this precious child, but in order to protect him and Luka she had no choice. And she would protect them, even if it meant sacrificing her hard-won freedom. She kissed the top of his sweet head and carried him to Luka's room, where she laid him down next to his sleeping brother and pulled the covers up to his chin. Luka seemed to know that Ben was there, even in his sleep, he reached out and pulled his brother protectively toward him. Ben dived under Luka's arm and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep quickly.
Feeling bereft, Esme turned away, only to find Charlie standing right behind her. She had been so focused on Luka and Ben that she had been totally unaware that he was one step behind her. She tried to avoid his penetrating gaze, but Charlie was no fool. He caught hold of her arm when she tried to pass him and gently turned her to face him.
"I can see how much you love those boys and I know you wouldn't leave them willingly." He whispered huskily. "So that tells me that something or someone is forcing you to do so."
"I love them more than anything. And you're right. I wouldn't leave them if I had a choice." Esme cast her eyes down and looked at his hand on her arm. "But my circumstances have changed." She swallowed thickly, gently brushing his hand away as she walked out of Luka's bedroom. Charlie sighed as he crept out after her, closing the door behind him carefully as he did so.
Charlie sipped the sweet tea that Esme had made for him. She had retreated to the other side of the room and was now staring pensively out of the window. Her beautiful face was partially hidden in shadow as she gazed into the dark night. Charlie wondered what she was looking for…or rather who. He put the tea down beside his chair and cleared his throat to attract her attention. Esme turned to face him; her expression troubled.
"Please, don't ask me anymore questions, Charlie." She said wearily. "The decision has been made."
"The decision!" Charlie scoffed. "The way you say that makes me feel you weren't the one who made it."
"It really is none of your business." Esme answered him as she withdrew to the window again.
"You're right." Charlie agreed. "But I've also been in my job long enough to know when someone's in trouble. You're frightened."
His astute observation unnerved Esme. She ran her fingers through her thick hair, pulling the caramel coloured strands back from her heart-shaped face. "I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you."
"You can trust me." Charlie assured her as he pushed himself onto to his feet. "Maybe I can help."
"You can't." Esme said despairingly with a small shake of her head.
"You don't know that." Charlie approached her cautiously as he spoke.
He was killing her with his kindness. Esme folded her arms defensively across her chest and gazed helplessly out of the window again. "If you must know I am going back to my husband." She said stiffly. She couldn't say Carlisle's name. She would crack completely.
"Ah, I see." Charlie murmured.
"I made a rash decision when I said I would foster Luka. I shouldn't have done that." The grief surged inside Esme with each expelled breath, reaching higher and higher peaks as she fought to maintain her composure. "You must promise me that you'll let Luka stay with you. I'll still provide for him financially. I…" She stopped talking when she felt the warmth from Charlie's body as he stopped mere inches in front of her. She made the mistake of looking up at him and was overwhelmed by the compassion showing on his face.
"You know the first major falling out I had with Billy was when your husband moved into town and started working at the hospital. I couldn't understand his reaction, we didn't speak for weeks. But then when your son started dating my daughter…" Charlie paused and regarded Esme thoughtfully. "I began to think that maybe there was a reason for his hostility. Its no secret that I don't like your son. He's all false politeness in front of me, but I know a controlling prick when I see one. I saw the effect he had on my bright daughter. She changed when she was around him, she became like a shadow of herself. I'm beginning to think the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." He finished meaningfully.
Esme was well aware of what he was insinuating. Her eyes widened slightly and she was forced to avert her gaze. "I don't…"
"There are lot of things that haven't added up over the years, Esme." Charlie cut in quickly as he drew a little closer. "Those injuries Bells got when she came home after the first time she ran away. Your husband tried to explain them away as some kind of 'accident' but I never really believed it. I tried to question Bells about it in the past, but she always mumbles the same excuses. Then not too long afterwards, you all upped and left, just like that. That just made everything more suspicious. I had to watch my daughter fade away right in front of my eyes, if not for Jake I don't know what state she would have been in. I was helpless to do anything. She refused therapy, she cut herself off from the world, showing all the signs of a classic abuse victim. She was slowly getting better when your son got in contact again, supposedly threatening suicide, and off she rushed to 'save' him. And just like that you all moved back again and I felt like I was losing her all over again. I tried my hardest to separate them, but she continued to blindly defend him. I was at my wits end when she agreed to marry him…then Ben came into our lives and it was like she woke up and could suddenly see again."
Esme shook her head despairingly. She didn't know how to answer him. Old memories began to torture her. She couldn't escape them, or hide from them; they were the worst kind of monster. She was scared of what her past held, of what was coming in the future. She wondered how often Carlisle had made use of Jasper's powers to manipulate her emotions when he wanted his own way. She had protested at the move; she was sure of it. So had some of the others. But still they had acquiesced so easily to what Carlisle wanted. Edward came first. Nothing else mattered more than him. She remembered voicing her concerns when Edward first began dating Bella, she wanted him to find love, of course she did, but the way he became so obsessed with her, so quickly. Soon Bella was cut off from everyone, so he became her whole world, until Edward was in total control. Just like Carlisle was in control of her.
"Esme, I feel like it's the same for you." Charlie continued quietly. "It seems to me like Bella wasn't the only one who took the blinders off. I feel like you did, too. You can trust me. Let me help you." He offered again.
"Oh, you won't want to help me if you knew the truth." Esme withdrew to the plush leather sofa and pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. Her wretched memories kept swirling around her head torturing her. She was re-examining her life with Carlisle and the fresh perspective she had gained was disturbing. She looked glassily at Charlie as he hunkered down in front of her. She imagined the compassionate expression slipping off his face if she dared trust him with the truth.
"I doubt that." Charlie said reassuringly. "Trust me."
"I want to trust you, but I'm afraid of how you'll react." Esme whispered. He sounded so assured, so sincere in his offer to help that it broke her resolve. He was such a good, kind man. "The truth will hurt you, Charlie. Are you prepared for that?" She asked.
"You can trust me." Charlie said again. "Even if it hurts me, I want to know."
Esme swallowed thickly as she pulled her legs closer to her body. She knew she was probably making the biggest mistake of her life, but she had already said too much to take any of it back now. "For you to properly understand, I need to go right back to the beginning." She began. "You better sit down." She suggested, sighing heavily.
"Okay." Charlie settled down on the chair opposite and looked at her expectantly.
Esme hugged her knees tightly to her chest as she mentally prepared herself to relive the most painful parts of her past. She blinked a few times before summoning the courage to meet his steady gaze. "My maiden name was Esme Ann Platt. I was born in 1895. I grew up on a farm on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio. When I grew up, I had ambitions of becoming a teacher but was pressured by my parents to stay and marry. When I was 22, in a vain attempt to please them, I married Charles Evenson, but soon realised he was an abusive man. My family urged me to keep quiet about the abuse, and I had no choice but to endure it. I finally got some peace when Charles was drafted during World War I. I enjoyed a happy period of time while Charles was away, but when he returned in 1919, the abuse started all over again. Sometime after his return, I found out that I was pregnant. Not wanting my child to grow up in such a dangerous environment, I ran away to live with a cousin in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. When Charles found out where I was staying, I fled again, this time to Ashland, and posed as a war widow. In order to support myself, I became a school teacher, temporarily fulfilling my childhood dream. My son was born in 1921, only to die from lung fever two days later." Esme was cut to the quick by the painful memory. She put a hand over her face and let out a choked sob.
It took her a few minutes before she was composed enough to continue. "I was devastated, and felt that I no longer had any reason to live, so I attempted suicide by jumping off a cliff. When I was found, my condition was so bad, that the physicians didn't even attempt to revive me. I was immediately taken to the morgue, although my heart was still beating faintly. Carlisle was working in the area at the time…." She paused again, watching Charlie's reaction carefully. To her surprise he hadn't interrupted her once. She welcomed his silence, but wondered why he wasn't telling her she was insane. Then she remembered he was Bella's father and remembered how accepting she had always been of everything. Like father like daughter, Esme presumed. "I regained consciousness in excruciating pain, to find Carlisle looking down at me. In order to save my life, Carlisle had changed me into a vampire. He wanted a mother figure for Edward and a wife and thought I would make the perfect candidate." She stopped talking again, waiting for Charlie to explode, to call her a liar. The story sounded too fantastical to be true. When he didn't say anything, she became uneasy. "I can assure you its all true." She tried again. "Please, say something."
Charlie finally came to life. His jaw tightened and his brown eyes darkened to almost black. "Bells knew?" Was his first question.
"Yes." Esme confirmed softly.
"I see." Charlie mumbled. "Billy knew?"
Esme nodded slowly.
"I see."
His hurt was palpable. Esme wanted to reach out to him, but stayed still as she waited out his reaction. There were so many changing expressions on his face it was hard to keep up with them all. "I am so sorry this is hurting you." She apologised earnestly. "But you said you wanted the truth."
"Tell me the rest." He practically growled. "And leave nothing out."
Esme looked at Charlie worriedly as he pulled on his jacket. "What are you going to do?" She asked worriedly.
"Look after the boys." Charlie said coolly as he headed for the door.
"You still trust me with them after what I told you?" If Esme could cry, she would have burst into tears of relief.
Charlie turned to face her; his expression unreadable. "Just look after them. I'll be back." He said again.
"Are you going to talk to Bella?" Esme tried again.
"Not yet. There's something else I have to take care of first." Charlie responded cryptically.
"What?" Esme began to panic. He was being too careful, too controlled. "Please, don't do anything rash…."
"I can take care of myself. I'll be back." Charlie ignored her pleas as he stalked out of the apartment without looking back.
Carlisle was totally unprepared when Charlie stormed into the hospital demanding to see him. Flustered, he gave the police chief a placatory smile as he greeted him in the waiting area. It soon slid off his face when Charlie's response was an angry scowl.
"Perhaps we should go to my office." He said urgently, mindful of the audience that surrounded them.
"I'll say my piece right here." Charlie replied stonily.
"I don't think that's a good idea." Carlisle murmured as he looked around at the curious stares they were attracting from the patients sitting in the waiting area.
"Why?" Charlie followed the direction of Carlisle's worried gaze. "Are you afraid of being exposed, Doctor, Cullen?"
"Exposed?" Carlisle's amber eyes snapped back to Charlie. "Are you threatening me, Chief Swan?" He whispered harshly.
"From what I hear you're the one making threats." Charlie growled. "I've come here to tell you that I won't stand for it."
Carlisle's eyes narrowed as he locked stares with Charlie. "I would be very careful what you say next, Chief Swan." He said icily.
Charlie matched Carlisle's icy tone. "No one messes with my family and gets away with it." He warned. "You have a week to cut all ties with this place and leave. If you don't…" He left the rest unsaid.
"You can't run me out of town." Carlisle sneered. "You have nothing on me."
Charlie laughed darkly. "All it takes is a word whispered in the right ear to start a criminal investigation into your background, Doctor Cullen. I expect you've had to forge a lot of documents over the last three hundred plus years in order to keep renewing your identity, so you can keep living the dream. Imagine what a good investigator could dig up. Even the most gifted forger leaves traces behind. Do you really want to risk the exposure?" He said quietly.
Carlisle was practically seething with anger. He had to restrain himself from retaliating. Even though they couldn't hear what was being said between the two men, the curious on-lookers could feel the tension coming off them in waves.
"Oh, and one last thing." Charlie said over his shoulder as he got ready to leave. "There will be a restraining order winging its way to you first thing in the morning. You have one week, Doctor Cullen." He reminded him as he walked away. "Have a good night now."
A/N-thanks for reading!