This entry gets kinda deep, just warning ya...
Ch 21
Word got out pretty quickly about the mishap by the forge, and now, I'm even more of a laughingstock than usual. Snotlout simply will not leave me alone; every chance he gets, he sends a few insults and jabs my way, as well as the occasional physical attack. Even Fishlegs, who I used to consider an actual friend, won't look at me. Astrid has pretty much decided I'm not even worthy of fixing her axe anymore, and the twins have been almost as insufferable as Snotlout (at least they never get physical…).
And now, I almost can't wait for my dad to get home and ground me, so I don't have to deal with them anymore. They have no idea how much it stings to not even be given a glance. At least Snotlout, Ruff, and Tuff dignify me with words. Yeah, they're all awful words, but I'd take that over being entirely ignored. I've decided it somehow feels better to be yelled at and insulted than to be treated as invisible. Isn't THAT just about the craziest idea ever?
I just don't understand… it's not like I ASKED for any of this! I had no control over being born like I was… it's not MY fault I'm not like everyone else. So why do they have to be so mean?
My dad once said that he and Mom didn't think I would make it through my first night. And sometimes… I question why I did… What greater purpose could I possibly have that warranted the gods' mercy? What do they see in my future that I don't? Because, honestly, all I can see is failure.
I just have to have hope that there really is something better out there for me someday. And as long as I have that hope, I'll do whatever I can to get there…
Until next time…
-H