you never did give a damn thing, honey / but i cried, cried for you / and i know you wouldn't have told nobody if i die, die for you / i'd die for you

- cold as you, taylor swift (taylor swift)

this is the point when bad turns to worse.

the car ride was silent. there's tension between the small space of his vehicle as he drives them home. sasuke gripped the steering wheel, silently seething inside because of their ruined weekend getaway from the city.

beside him, sakura continues to look out on the window. it's dark because it's past midnight and he knows she couldn't see shit, but she continues to stare outside than look at him. it adds fuel to his anger.

sasuke agreed to her plan of a surprise for him earlier tonight, but he didn't expect a different kind of surprise that awaited him. it was supposed to be fun. it was supposed to be just the two of them taking a break from their responsibilities. it wasn't supposed to be ruined by his brother wanting to reconnect after more than a decade of leaving him.

growing up an orphan was his history, and his brother belongs in the past just like his childhood. when itachi left sasuke at the orphanage they were in, he was dead to his eyes.

the amount of anger he felt when he saw him in the restaurant where he and sakura was supposed to meet was indescribable. it took all of him to not punch him in the teeth when his brother touched his arm for him to stay, and an even more amount of patience when he learned that his very own girlfriend set it up for them.

in the end, he left the restaurant in haste as he made his way back to their hotel. the moment he got back, he announced that they should head back home now. he saw the surprise in sakura's eyes and maybe she saw the simmering fury in his so she didn't complain.

and now he's driving for more than an hour on their way home when sakura's phone rang. both of their attention went to the ringing device and in the corner of his eyes, he saw sakura look at the caller id briefly before looking up at him. itachi, he thought.

without looking at her, he callously asked. "it's him, right?"

sakura fidgets for a moment before answering, "yes."

in his annoyance, he reached sideways to grab her phone from her and tossed it in the backseat. "don't talk to him ever again," he spits.

she was taken aback with his actions, "sasuke-kun..."

"what went through your head when you agreed to his bullshit, huh?" he looked briefly at her before returning his attention to the road. "did he blackmail you? what did he do for you to agree? tell me."

his voice was shaking from his silent wrath when he thought about how itachi reached out to sakura. sasuke wasn't sure who this anger he feels is for anymore—for itachi, for sakura, or for himself.

"he's been looking for you for 10 years," she whispered inside the car. "he misses you. he cares for you."

sasuke scoffed, "no, he doesn't. if he truly cares, he will leave me the fuck alone because he knows i have survived more than half my life without him. i don't need him in my life."

he heard sakura unbuckle her seatbelt and felt her turn her body to him as she frowns, "but he needs you; to listen, at least. to understand."

"and what is it to understand at this point?" his control on his emotions slowly slipping as his voice rose in volume. "what's done is done. i don't need to hear any of his explanations because bottom line is, he left me alone. and that's that."

sakura sighed and reached to touch his arm, "please. try to at least see him and hear what he has to say. mayb-"

he shrugged her hand off with a slight movement of his arm, "he's dead to me, sak. let's leave it at that."

moments passed and the silence grew. sasuke was still simmering with his fury and sakura pierced the hush when she softly asked him, "how can you be so cold, sasuke-kun?"

he smirked humorlessly, "i have always been cold."

"you know that's not true," sakura frowned even more as she shook her head no.

"can we stop talking about this? this is stupid."

"i just want to understand, sas-"

"but that's just it!" he finally bursted, his eyes frantic on the road as he unconsciously pushed on the gas more as if he's chasing his way out of this conversation. "even if i tell you, you will never understand because you didn't have a brother who abandoned you for years! you'll never understand because you were a happy kid!"

he turned sideways at her to see her wide eyes, "you will never understand this, sakura."

his eyes found the road again and he gritted his teeth as he grips for his self-control.

"i didn't know you think so lowly of me."

sasuke felt something in his heart ache just a bit when he heard her. he can feel her eyes boring into the side of his head as she looks at him. "i won't understand, you say? that's what i have been doing for the years we've been together—understanding you, loving you."

then he heard a sniffle and the hurt in her voice when she said, "have you ever felt them?"

there's a lump in his throat and he turned to say the words—of course, you make me feel every day, i am sorry, i'm sorry baby;

but this is the point when worse turns to the worst.

a sudden blur of motion came from the side of his car and startled him as they were turning on the curve of the road. the night was dark and the streetlights were dim; and sasuke swerved to avoid that thing that surprised him. was it a deer? a gazelle?

it doesn't really matter now since they both heard the impact of the hood of his car on something live and their car went skidding across the road. sasuke reached his arm towards sakura who was holding onto the car roof handle and his fear came tenfold when he realized he lost control of the vehicle.

sasuke tried to unbuckle his seatbelt to reach her since he knows she's removed hers but they were spinning too fast and they were suddenly falling off a small cliff on the side of the road.

the last time he heard was the sound of his name from sakura and then the world turned black.

/

"i'm cold, sasuke-kun!"

she approached him on the sofa he was sitting on as he reads and he smiled from her attire. his little girlfriend was only sporting his hoodie that's too big on her, baring her thighs and legs to him. sasuke looked at the window and saw a light fall of snow outside.

he continued to look at her as she stood in front of him, feet padding in place as she poorly fights the cold, and smirked. wordlessly, he opened his arms in invitation.

sasuke heard a squeal of delight as she climbed on his lap and buried herself against his chest. when he wrapped his arms around her tiny form, he said, "how can you not be cold? your choice of clothes is inappropriate for the weather."

sakura whined on his neck, "don't deny it, you like it when i wear your shit."

he silently agreed, "it doesn't count if you're uncomfortable."

"i'm not uncomfortable, i'm just cold. and besides, you're my own personal heater anyway," she smiled as she planted a kiss beneath his ear. "you're so warm as always. like hot chocolate in christmas."

sasuke tossed his book beside them on the sofa and put his hand under his hoodie that she wears. her skin was cold but it heated up immediately when his big warm hands gently ran on it. in return, sasuke felt her hand held his neck and fingers trace his slight stubble on his jaw.

"see? this has its perks," she teased, removing her face from his neck to lean her head sideways against his wide shoulders to look at him endearingly. "admit it. you like this, right?"

he followed her heed this time, "aa."

she bumped his nose with her cold finger, "ha! knew it! you can't resist my charms."

sasuke smirked again, "or maybe it's just an excuse for me to do it."

"what?" she asked with her brows furrowed. that's her last word before he attacked her sides by tickling them, earning a loud squeal from sakura. she pulled her body up from his lap to lean on her knees on both sides of him as she laughs against the top of his head. "stop!"

his nails softly ran down her back inside her outfit as he nuzzles her chest that's now directly on his face. sasuke tilted his head slightly to nip her chin and kiss it afterwards, "still cold?"

sasuke shivered when she felt her breath on his face when she leaned down and peeked at him, "i'm never cold with you, sasuke-kun." she kisses him softly on his lips.

he kissed her back, feeling warm and even hot himself, and made sure the last thing she will utter tonight was his name. sasuke made sure of it and by the end of it all, she whispered his name into the night and into the deep corners of his heart that he's sure will echo forever.

"sasuke-kun..."

/

he heard his name somewhere and that's what woke him up. there's a smell of something burning close, and sasuke coughed a little as he slowly sat up. his whole body ached and his head pounded mercilessly, making his eyes blurry.

feeling a little disoriented, he slowly gathered his wits and collected his hazy memories—itachi in the restaurant, walking back to the hotel, getting in the car, driving faster than usual, arguing with sakura in the car as he drives, trying to apo-

his breath stopped and accelerated at once. sakura!

sasuke moved his body, bones and muscles screaming in pain, but she is the only thing on his mind. it hasn't been that long right? he mused to himself. it's only been a few minutes. it has to be.

"sakura!" he called out, half walking half dragging himself on the soil beneath him, as he frantically searched for her. "sakura! do you hear me?!"

there were broken glass everywhere, debris of his wrecked-out car and the shattered pieces of his hope when he saw her red cardigan a few feet away from the crashed vehicle, her very still form that made sasuke's lungs drown. the woods, the car, his aching bones—they didn't matter anymore.

and now this is the point when the worst turns to the very worst.

he's trembling violently, the cold fall air adding to his dread, and he approached sakura's form slowly. when he got closer, he can see her chest faintly moving up and down. oh, thank god.

sasuke immediately knelt down beside her, careful of her and eyes roaming around for injuries. he choked up when he saw a small pool of blood behind her head, smeared among the dead leaves on the ground. his moved his hand closer to her face.

"sak," he whispered, desperately wanting her to open her eyes. "hey... sakura..."

his finger touched her cheek and why is she so fucking cold?

the flutter of her eyelashes distracted him for a moment and he watched as sakura tries to open her eyes. her green irises still hold a little candle of hope in his heart with its shine among their location within the trees. he gently held her face with his hand.

"hey," he tried to smile at her. "we're okay... you're okay..."

he looked around madly, realizing they didn't fall too far from the road, and prayed that rescue is on their way. for now, he knows she can't be moved, he might worsen her condition if he does and he will not risk that; even if all he ever wanted to do was gather her in his arms right now.

sasuke could feel the tears forming in his eyes as she continues to look at him and couldn't speak, "i-… i'm sorry... i'm so sorry..." he whispered.

sakura moved her head very slightly, a gesture that says no. from the look in her eyes, he can almost hear her like this—no, sasuke-kun. it's not your fault.

it makes his heart pump more dread in his bloodstream. he couldn't think clearly; he wanted to run and scream for help but he doesn't want to leave her here. he wanted her to be okay.

she may have seen his upcoming panic attack that's why her hand twitched. his eyes follow her small and slow movements as she lifted her hand and touched his cheek. sasuke held it against his face as his first tears fell. her hand felt like she's saying, "it's okay. i'm here, baby."

the blood around her was fresh and warm, but her hand was so cold against his face, waking him a little. "hang on okay?" he breathed on her hand, hoping it will warm her up. "you'll be okay."

you'll be okay, you have to be okay, i need you to be okay.

it seems like an endless loop in his head now, a hopeless plea not just to her but for himself. she has to be okay so he could be okay too. in the midst of the loudness of his pants, he heard the faint sirens of ambulance somewhere towards them. he scrambled to get up and strained his ears to know if it's just his imagination, but there it was, the sweet sound of ambulance in the distance.

"do you hear that?!" he excitedly asked her. "rescue is here!"

the air around him stilled. there was no rustling of trees, not even the sound of birds and their flapping wings somewhere. his heartrate doubled in spikes. when he looked back at her, the hand he was holding onto earlier was on the blood-stained soil haphazardly.

he knelt down again beside her, "sak... they're here... help is here..."

no answer. no flutter of eyelashes. no soft breathing. there was nothing at all.

no. no, please no. not like this. not now. not ever. no. please.

sasuke wasn't aware he was muttering those words by himself. he hovered over sakura and whispered, "sak... c'mon... don't be like that... open your eyes, please..."

she looked so peaceful like this, like a forest nymph taking her nap in the woods. but she's not a forest nypmh—she's sakura and she's real and she's his; and he needs her to wake up now.

the sirens are closer now but he can only hear his desperate voice as he calls her again, "please, baby..." he put his forehead against hers. his eyes became blurry again from the tears that are now falling from his eyes to her sleeping face, and she is still so cold.

"don't leave me," he sobs. "please wake up..."

when the rescuers came, they witnessed two deaths that sunday morning at 1:58am. they heard the wails of despair first, a cried-out version of a name over and over, before seeing where it came from.

first death was the death of a 24-year old sakura haruno who died because of a car accident that resulted to a spinal cord injury and a severe blow to the back of her head. she died even before help came. she spent her final moments with the love of her life.

the second death was the death of a 25-year old sasuke uchiha who died because of his lover's untimely demise. he had to be wretched away from the body of the love of his life, and had to be held down as they covered her body in white sheet. he got some injuries too, with his broken ribs and dislocated shoulder. it would never amount to the pain of losing her, though.

sasuke feels so fucking cold, but it will never be as cold as her skin was when she died. there is no amount of crying he can do to bring her back, and the cold hard truth seeped inside his broken bones as he watched these people carry her away from him.

and before it all turned to black again, there's only one thing in his mind—

you wouldn't mind if i follow you, right?

~fin~

a/n: this was a new territory for me. i like writing angst but only to an extent and this is beyond my capabilities, but taylor just made me want to act up so bad hakdjhakj im broken from her new album and this is the result of the angst she gave me. don't give me shit, direct it to her. luv dat bitCH 4 LYF