Dominique pulled Jack into the shower area of the Gryffindor changing room, pushing him up against the tile wall and kissing him the second she could. They were actually in the same spot they'd been in weeks before after they'd lost to Ravenclaw and she'd had her breakdown; this time though, tears weren't on the horizon. She was actually in a terrific mood.

"No one comes back here before practice," she said as they wasted no time immediately trying to snog the other's face off.

They'd been back at school for two weeks already, though this—this moment in the changing room—was the first time they'd had more than five minutes properly alone since arriving back. Not that they hadn't wanted to be, but they hadn't had the time after splitting their free moments between Louis and Sarah, who obviously weren't speaking. She and Jack had decided initially to take things slow and figure everything out once Louis was off to France, but as it turned out they didn't have much of a choice. Since getting back, it was proving to be difficult to find more than five minutes to be together now that their social circle had completely collapsed.

Sarah and Louis wanted nothing to do with each other—though that was more on Sarah's end than Louis'. With them not talking, it often meant that she and Jack had to make a choice—a separate choice. Jack joked that they were the children of a divorce choosing between two parents, with him often sitting at one end of the common room with Louis while she sat on the other end with Sarah. They'd switch and alternate, but the end result was often that the two of them were now spending little to no time actually together. It was rather ironic considering that was now all they wanted to do.

A quick kiss between classes or some light snogging between the shelves of the library had been all they managed over the last two weeks, but that changed today given that the Quidditch weather hiatus had ended and practices now resumed. Louis had also left for France that morning, which meant even more opportunities were available—including access to Jack's room without the threat of her brother being there. She knew she shouldn't have been anticipating her brother's departure as much as she was, but she tried to convince herself it was a silver lining to a shitty situation that was happening anyway. It had been a long two weeks of holding every urge inside, but it ended today. She was more than ready to celebrate.

"Watch today be the first day someone does come back here," Jack's muffled voice said, his mouth still on hers. There was a nervous hesitation to his demeanor that Dominique had already anticipated. They'd had a conversation the day prior about the fact that he'd never taken any real risks when it came to fooling around. Everything he'd ever done had been in rooms with closed doors or beds with curtains drawn around him—all very safe.

On the other hand, prior to Jack, Dominique had only ever experienced high risk scenarios where anyone could walk in. She and Davies hadn't had the luxury of shared houses to sneak off into bedrooms, so they'd done everything in and around corridors or inside these very Quidditch tunnels. She'd lost her virginity in the Ravenclaw changing room on a stack of towels that had been laid on the ground—which, in retrospect, wasn't a memory she would treasure forever—and she'd given her first blowjob in the equipment supply room. She could give an actual tour of her sexual history walking through this arena, so for her, there was something about this place that would always give her that thrill. She found something exciting about the idea of getting caught.

"If you want to stop," she said in between kisses. "We can just go get ready for practice instead."

He pulled his head back and shook his head, as if to say of course he was fine with this. "No, I'm fine. I just—what do we say if someone hears us?"

"Well, I won't be saying much of anything because I'll be busy," she joked as she reached down and tugged a little on the waist of his joggers. "You're going to have to be the one doing all the talking."

He stared rather blankly at her, which only made her laugh. Yesterday he'd jumped at her offer to mess around back here, but now, he seemed to be second guessing it. She needed to get him out of his own head. She was beginning to learn that about him—when alcohol wasn't involved, he got frequently stuck in his own head and needed the push.

"I've got some work to do with you." She grinned and kissed him; once again reassuring him that, "No one's going to come back here," without breaking away, just as their kissing grew more and more involved. She let her hands slide up his chest and around his neck and he reached his down around her waist, pulling her closer.

Jack hadn't wanted to keep things a secret from Louis; he'd felt they should just be honest with him and tell him they were hooking up before he left for France. She, however, hadn't been so keen. It had nothing to do with him knowing they had feelings for each other—she almost didn't care if he knew—but it was more that there wasn't much to actually tell yet. The two of them had slept together on New Year's Eve, they kissed a few times in a corridor and between some bookshelves, and they'd had a few conversations about figuring things out later. What was there to tell him? He didn't want to hear any of that. It's not as if they were in a proper relationship he should be aware of.

She managed to convince him to keep things quiet until they had a better idea of what they were, though it was hard to figure out what that was when they were forced to keep everything so quiet. It was a strange double-edged sword, but Jack had gone along with it with little complaint.

She reached down and started pulling the front of his trousers down, letting them settle around his knees. When she grabbed him, she felt him physically shift and make a very small moan of a noise. Practice was due to start soon and the rest of the team was bound to be entering the changing room any minute, if they hadn't already. They wouldn't be able to hear anything if they were quiet, but that also meant that she and Jack wouldn't be able to hear them either. This would have to be quick.

"You really don't have to do this in here," he said once she broke apart from his lips and dropped herself down.

"If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't," she said, glancing up at him. "And if you don't want me to then speak now or—"

"I'll shut up," he said, which she took as a signal to waste no further time and get to work. She immediately set to work tugging and using her tongue in ways she'd learned usually got the best results. She was hoping roughly four minutes to get him off since that seemed to be the norm for her. Davies had actually timed her once.

She felt his hand on her head and for the briefest of moments, and thought he was about to push her deeper into him, which she hated. Davies had done that once or twice, though he'd immediately stopped after she purposefully dragged her teeth on him to get him to take a hint. In Jack's case, he seemed to just be playing with her hair in an absent sort of way; running his fingers through her ponytail as he mumbled, "You're amazing."

That was good to hear. Always nice to have positive feedback. She ramped things up a bit once she felt his body stiffen and his hand move from her head, sensing that if she kept it up, he'd come in the next minute. Her knees didn't exactly love this cold stone floor, but she did love how much he seemed to be enjoying this as he moaned, "Nic, I'm gonna…"

And then he did, with a muffled moan of a noise that he clearly was attempting to keep as low as possible. It almost made her want to laugh, but her mouth was still otherwise busy as she finished up the job before finally settling back and wiping her mouth with her sleeve. When she looked up at him, he was looking straight ahead in a vacant sort of way and breathing in short, heavy breaths. He looked down and grinned a little, tucking himself back into his trousers and then holding out a hand to help and pull her up off the floor.

"Told you no one would walk in."

"You were right,." He reached out to pull her closer to him. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Just pay it forward and do me next time."

"I'd do you now if you asked," he said as he leaned in to kiss her. "Forget practice. I'll cancel it. I just want you."

She smirked a little, but also found herself reflexively backing up from his kiss in a surprised manner. He wanted to kiss her…? After she'd just…? But he'd…? She'd only had any real experience with Davies after these things, but that had always been a hard no for him. No kissing after that.

He let go of her once he'd noticed her hesitation and seemed confused. "What?"

"You want to...kiss me?"

His expression said that was an odd question to ask. "Yes?"

"After what you just did?"

"Oh." He now seemed to understand. "I don't care. It doesn't bother me. I feel like it's a bit fucked if I expect you to do all that and I'm not even willing to kiss you after, you know? Does it bother you?"

She shrugged, having never really thought about how she felt about it since it had always just been a no. "I don't know. I've never...so I've never thought about it."

He stared at her as if he was studying her and looking for something oddly specific in her face. "You've never or—" He paused for emphasis, "someone didn't want you to?"

She laughed a little. He seemed to be reading her mind; her expression must have answered that question before she could get the words out.

"Why doesn't that surprise me," he muttered under his breath, though he quickly added, "If you don't want to, I won't. But know that I'm fine with it. I'll kiss you whenever you let me."

"I…" She actually felt herself start to blush a little. Weren't they back here fooling around because he was the novice one who needed to experience new things? Why was she suddenly feeling so naive? "I mean, I would. As long as you don't mind—"

He suddenly leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "I don't mind." With that, he shrugged, grinned, and made a head gesture toward the exit. "We should go or else we'll be late."

"Right," she nodded, though the second he'd turned away, she found herself cracking a small smile. "Yeah."

"I didn't plan this out well at all," Jack said once she followed him out of the showers. "I should have thought about Louis leaving this morning and held up beginning practices again for one more day. We'd have all afternoon to ourselves."

"True, but it'll be good to get out there," she said as they walked into the empty changing room, noticing that other people's locker doors were open and bags were strewn about in ways that hadn't been that way before they'd snuck into the showers. It was evident that the rest of the team had been here, but just as Dominique had suspected, they would have gone about their business and made their way out to the pitch already. It had really been that easy. "Get the blood flowing."

"My blood's already flowing," he said as he walked to his locker to grab his broom. "And I can think of some more fun ways to get yours going than flying around in near frigid temperatures."

"More fun or more naked?" she asked from across the room as she attempted to open her own locker.

"In this case, it's one in the same."

She gathered her broom and pulled an extra jumper over her head, watching as Jack juggled with his own broom, his bat, the playbook that he'd pulled out of his locker before slamming it shut behind him and walking straight over toward the exit. She went to grab the door for him as they both made their way out into the tunnel.

"You are planning on spending the night tonight, right?" he asked her in a muffled way, now that he was holding the playbook in his mouth in order to get a better grip on his broom and bat.

She nodded. Louis was gone and that had been the deal. Not that she didn't want to spend the night with him in his room—she did—but there was a strange sort of anxiousness accompanying the idea of doing that. It wasn't due to anything they'd do, but rather what people would now say. It wasn't just Louis they'd kept their new status from—it had been almost everyone. Hogwarts liked to talk; especially if people saw you entering or emerging from the room of someone else at random parts of the morning or night. Her spending the night there meant people were going to start asking questions.

Their close friends already knew about the two of them; they'd been cool enough to keep it quiet for now. That would only last so long, especially with Louis gone and there being no more excuses. Flynn—who'd walked in on them that night after the Christmas Party—had already told Sarah over the holidays what he'd seen that night. He'd also told Natalie, who he was now officially dating after some alone time over the holidays. That apparently granted her access to all of his secrets and stories, including the ones Dominique was featured in.

"You know how new relationships go," Sarah had said to Dominique on the day she'd gotten back, referring to Natalie and Flynn. She'd followed her upstairs to watch her unpack, seemingly thrilled to have someone different to talk to after spending the holiday with the new couple. "They just always want to be together and they want to be alone all the time. I can only take so much of them."

Dominique hummed a little. She did now know exactly how that felt. She'd already wondered multiple times since getting back about what time Jack was getting in.

"Speaking of new relationships. Anything you want to tell me?" Sarah asked.

Dominique slowly turned around to look at her. Sarah was grinning at her in a very knowing sort of way that screamed that she'd clearly heard something. For the briefest of moments, Dominique couldn't figure out how she possibly knew she and Jack had hooked up on New Year's; then it hit her that she didn't know. She only knew what Flynn had probably told her.

"Dunno what you're talking about," she said, turning back around to fold shirts.

"No? Rumor has it you and a certain someone got caught snogging in his room before you left."

"Rumor or Flynn?" she muttered.

"Look at you," Sarah said. "You finally went and kissed Jack. Good for you."

She shrugged, still focusing entirely on her unpacking.

"So?" Sarah asked, rising from her bed to come and sit on Dominique's. It forced her directly in Dominique's line of sight so that she couldn't avoid her. "What happened? Did you two see each other over break? Did anything else happen?"

"Not as much as I would have liked," Dominique said, tossing the last of her clothes onto her bed before she looked at Sarah. "Louis went and hijacked him onto some adventure—a lads' trip—and they were gone for days. I was left on my own and bored out of my mind."

Sarah rolled her eyes, though whether it was due to what she had said or Louis' name in general, she wasn't sure. "Of course they did. Louis obviously needed a break after all that cheating." Her face grew cold. "Poor him."

"You may be happy to hear that he wouldn't eat or leave his room for the first few days he was home."

She shrugged as if she didn't care. "Doesn't make me happy. Doesn't make me anything."

"He'd mentioned he still wants to be friends."

"I've got enough friends."

Dominique had to hand it to her, she didn't seem nearly as cut up about Louis as she would have thought she'd been. Apparently the break and the separation had been a good thing and she looked as if she'd come out the other side in one piece—that or she was faking it well.

"Anyway," Sarah said in a subject changing tone. "You probably would have had as much fun around here. I was mostly on my own seeing as Flynn and Natalie were often 'occupied'." She emphasized that word for effect. "I think I spent most days playing Hexes and Spades with Fiona and Flyer."

Dominique sat across from her, having caught on to one particular detail that Sarah kept bringing up. "You keep mentioning Natalie."

She had started to nod before Dominique had even finished. "Right. Yeah, so we've actually been sort of hanging out. Talking here and there. Burying the hatchet, if you will."

"Really? Are you friends again?"

"Sort of. Not quite there. She actually reached out to me a day or two after you all had left and I was in a right state. Told me exactly what I needed to hear."

Dominique stared at her, silently urging her to elaborate as to what that was.

"That Louis sucks."

"Oh. Yeah, I bet that's something you two could talk about."

"And…" She paused and looked at Dominique. "Don't take this the wrong way, but it felt good to be able to actually talk to someone about what happened and how I felt. I can't do that with you. He's your brother. You're always going to be loyal to him."

She pulled a face. "What he did was fucked up and I agree with you—"

"I know," she interrupted. "I know. I'm not saying that you'll just blindly defend him—even if you do—but there were things I needed to say that I can't say to you. Those words can't be taken back if you hear them." She paused. "Not that I'd take any of them back. But, I can't unload on you the way I can on Natalie. A part of you would never forgive me for some of the things."

"If anyone understands things said out of anger, it's me. I'd have gotten over it."

"You say that, but I know you when it comes to your brother. You can talk shit on him, but you've got limits when it's other people." She sat up straighter. "Plus, we talked about the sex, and you don't—"

"Alright." She threw her hands up in surrender.

Sarah started to laugh. "But, it's out of my system. Natalie and I actually had a really good chat. She always was a good listener. We eventually were talking about our past and our problems. It was probably a good four hour conversation." She looked amused . "I can say with certainty that it was the longest she and Flynn were apart the entire holiday break."

Dominique hummed in a pleasant way before she gestured around their bedroom. "I suppose that means the awkwardness around here will finally be gone."

"It'll be just like the old days," Sarah said. "Except instead of Louis being the center of anyone's universe, we get to listen to her talk about Flynn."

"I don't know which is worse."

"Well, maybe if you and Jack decide to figure things out, you can drown her out. If you two are already snogging, it's only a matter of time before that turns into something real."

Turns into something real. What does that even mean? Real seemed so...real. So official and adult. She loved the kissing and the sex and being with him, but beyond that she was rather afraid to think about more. How was she even supposed to proceed? Would they have to talk about it? Do people do that? Just talk about their status and labels and what they wanted to be with each other? Why did that all feel so awkward to her? Why couldn't they just keep doing what they were doing?

"So what happened with you two that night?" Sarah asked. "What finally pushed you to kiss him? Or did he kiss you? How about some details?"

"We only kissed in the first place to save your arse."

"Is that what you're telling yourself?"

She laughed. "No, seriously. Listen—" she began, starting at the beginning and filling her in on all the details of the night of the Christmas party. The awkward Filch kiss had greatly amused Sarah, and Dominique built the story up to what brought them to snogging and having Flynn walk in on them in the first place. She was just about to transition into New Year's Eve when Sarah—having presumably assumed that the snog was the end of the story—started laughing in a celebratory sort of way.

"I knew I just needed to get you two to have a moment," she said. "You got proper time together and look at what happens. Next time we'll work it out so you can be truly alone. Free of Flynn walking in and Louis—well, who cares about him? But we'll arrange some actual alone time. Lock you in a room together."

"You don't have to because we figured that out ourselves," Dominique countered. "On New Year's Eve, he came over. We drank a little and we...did things."

Sarah gaped ever so slightly, now looking entirely confused. "But you said Louis went and kidnapped him on some lads' trip—"

"I mean, he did most of the time. But I saw him on New Year's Eve."

"And you...did things? What kind of things?"

Dominique let a funny sort of smile appear on her face. "You know. Things."

"Were there clothes on during any of these things?"

"Not for long."

Sarah's jaw legitimately dropped. "Wait? Did the two of you—?"

She started nodding.

"What? Snogging? Touching? Fingering? Oral? Fucking? What?"

She was still nodding.

"Wait? You had sex with him!?'

Still nodding.

Sarah outright gawked. "How did you not lead with that!? Why are we talking about you snogging in his bloody bedroom when you shagged him in yours!?" Her head looked as if it might suddenly explode. "What?!"

"I was getting to it," she said. "We had a bit of a moment and things happened."

"You need to stop. I'm going to need to know everything," she said, shaking her head. "None of this 'a bit of a moment' rubbish."

She proceeded to tell her everything about the Witch's Wordplay game and the Firewhiskey. How all the pieces fell into place and they'd gone for it. How he was really good with his hands and how she'd really enjoyed the entire thing—up until her father came around knocking on the door. That had been a mood killer. But they'd escaped being caught, which is all that mattered.

Sarah was still clearly very amused. "I'm surprised he went straight for it. He and Whit waited forever."

"That was clearly her choice than his because he barely even hesitated. I gave him the go-ahead and he was in. Literally."

"Well, it had been awhile for him. He was probably just ready to shake off the cobwebs. You'll probably have to train him up a bit."

She shrugged. "I'm not worried about it. I trained him up in Quidditch and now look at him. He's internationally ranked."

Sarah lost it into a fit of laughter at that. It took her a good thirty seconds before she finally managed to sputter out, "He has no idea what he's in for." She took a deep breath. "But then again, you don't either when it comes to the actual relationship part. He's got the whole boyfriend thing down pat, and you…" She smiled at her. "Are you finally going to have a proper boyfriend? I never thought I'd see the day."

Dominique's face had fallen a bit at that. She'd looked away, not wanting to talk about the relationship or commitment part; nothing real that had to do with feelings and emotions. That part made her anxious. That part wasn't something she wanted to think about until she had to think about it.

And as she and Jack passed through the tunnel toward the entrance to the pitch, it was now the time she had to start thinking about it. All of her buffers—the "too early to tell" and "not until Louis is off to France" were gone and passed. As of now, he was probably going to want to talk about it; about what they were. She felt her chest clench at the thought.

But she still had Quidditch practice to get through. She didn't have to worry about that conversation until at least they were through the next hour. She needed to refocus on Quidditch and how they'd drawn Ravenclaw to play first this term and that the rematch was only a couple weeks away. She and Jack had made a deal that out on the pitch, they were teammates first and foremost—just as they'd always been. They needed to keep up that partnership for the sake of the team.

"Everyone's going to be lazy and slow today," Dominique said as they emerged from the tunnel that led to the pitch's entrance.

"They always are," Jack agreed. "Everyone has been off their brooms for the last month and eating food and Christmas sweets. Happens every year."

"And, since it's so cold out today, it's a known fact that colder temperatures slow even the best players down, hence why even at a professional level scoring percentages drop by 23% in the winter months."

"23% is oddly specific."

"I read a study on it."

He grinned at her as they found their way out onto the pitch, the grass crunching underneath their trainers in an icy sort of way. The entire rest of the team was milling around out near the center, with James apparently showing Alice some sort of broom trick while Kenley, Tommy, and Eatins stood and talked amongst themselves. Tommy was swinging his bat around in either an attempt to warm his arm up or keep warm in general. He stopped swinging once she and Jack approached.

"You're late!" Tommy called, looking at Jack specifically.

He checked his watch. "Seems by a...minute and a half. Yeah, I guess I am."

"A minute and a half is late, mate," Tommy said. "You make me fly laps when I'm late."

"I'll make you fly laps just because I feel like it," Jack quipped, throwing him a look. "But you know what, because I'm a team player, I'll fly a few. I could use the warm up anyway. We all could."

"We're all a bit confused," Tommy said with a bit of smug aura about him, grinning back at Kenley and Eatins as he said it. "Because when we got here, your stuff was in the changing room." He looked over at Dominique. "Yours too. But then neither of you were anywhere to be found."

Eatins wasn't even trying to hide his laughter at this point, which only seemed to fuel Tommy more.

"So, obviously, you both had to be out here, but," he shrugged, "you weren't. So, maybe you were in the equipment closet getting stuff together?" He started shaking his head. "Nope. Though, me and Eatins went ahead and pulled it all out for practice."

"About time you made yourself useful," Jack said, sounding bored. "And as much as we're all enjoying the show, why don't you go ahead and get to the point, Tommy?"

"Just strange that you're both late, is all," he said, still grinning. "And then you both turn up together; at the exact same time." He turned and looked back to everyone else. "Ken, made a really good point about how this all seems very familiar."

"How's that?"

"Just reminds us of last year and how Nicki would come late because she'd be off doing whatever with Davies. Only now instead of Davies…" He let his head fall in a very dramatic sort of fashion toward Jack.

Kenley and Eatins were exchanging shared looks of amusement—the kind that indicated they'd apparently already discussed this and we're enjoying it being brought to light. James was grinning, which immediately made Dominique recall their conversation from New Year's about she and Jack. Alice was the only one who seemed rather confused.

Jack sighed before he looked over at Dominique. He didn't seem angry or annoyed. He actually looked at her in a way that could best be described as, "Oh well. We got caught." He might have even been a little amused, though he was clearly waiting on her to react.

She wasn't as amused. She instead felt instantly caged and put on the spot in; she wanted all of them to fuck right off. This was none of their business. It wasn't anyone's.

"I, for one, would be in full support of this development," Tommy said, which evoked multiple chuckles from the others. "Especially considering last year, how all the two of you ever did was row and scream at each other. This is the better alternative. I just think you owe it to us—" He gestured around to everyone, "to tell us the truth."

"Oh, fuck off," Dominique said with a roll of her eyes. "No one owes you anything."

"But this would affect all of us," Tommy continued, still carrying on as if he were the ringmaster of this strange little circus. The others were clearly enjoying the spectacle, and if Tommy had a captive audience, he was absolutely going to run with it. She was suddenly starting to miss his early days after he'd just made the team; back when he was a far less arrogant fourth-year who she could intimidate with a look. "I've heard that the two of you are very much together—"

"We're not...together," she stammered in an angry way, wishing that everyone here would just bloody well disappear. "And you need to mind your own fucking business." With that, she turned to walk off so that she could mount her broom, fly off into the sky, and go and practice on her own.

No one followed her and she could only imagine the sort of things they were all saying down below. She was happy she was a Seeker at times like this so that she didn't have to work with anyone if she didn't want to. Even Jack steered clear of her for the remainder of practice, which was surprising since he always had a few notes for her.

She'd made a point to pick up her speed so that he couldn't complain that she was slow, and mostly worked on her pinpoint dives for accuracy for the entire hour until she noticed the Chasers finishing up and landing. She avoided everyone and cleaned up her own equipment, listening as Jack barked at some of the others to gather their things so they could put everything away. She waited for everyone to start walking back before she grabbed her broom and trailed behind.

Tommy looked at her tentatively once she'd entered the changing room, but said nothing to her before slamming all of his stuff into his locker and calling after Kenley to wait for him as she left. Eatins and James were talking about their Quidditch card collections with Alice, both trying to make theirs sound better and more impressive—though Dominique knew Eatins didn't stand a chance against James' if they were to actually compare—and they'd continued that conversation out the door until it was just she and Jack left behind. Usually this was just how she preferred things, but there was now a coldness in the room that had nothing to do with the temperature.

She let herself sit on the bench in front of her locker and watch as Jack silently put his stuff away, pulling off the extra jumper he'd be wearing and stuffing it inside his own. He was almost working overtime to ignore her, so she knew something was wrong. She might as well just get to it.

"What's your problem?"

He laughed a little to himself, but didn't look away from what he was doing in his locker. "What was that about?"

She shrugged. She knew exactly what he was referring to but decided to play it off as if she had no idea. "I don't—?"

"We're not together?"

She took a heavy breath, her stomach now tying itself up in knots because the idea of this conversation gave her anxiety that she couldn't even explain. "I mean, we're not technically."

"Technically?" he asked, sounding annoyed. "What does that mean? We're together all the time. You just blew me in the showers. You know how I feel about you and you said…" He trailed off. "How are we not...?"

Her mind was spinning so quickly that she couldn't grasp a proper thought to say. She was not ready for this conversation. She wasn't sure she would ever be ready. "It's only been a couple of weeks."

He again laughed a little to himself, but there was no humor.

"I don't…" She sat up straighter, watching him as he walked across the room. "This isn't even about that, it's about Tommy being a nosy fucking prat when none of this is any of his business—let alone any of their business. Even if we'd figured out what this is, it's no one's business."

He turned around. "I thought we were just keeping things quiet until Louis left?"

She stared at him.

"Then once we figured it out we'd—you know—tell people. Why wouldn't we?"

"Because it's no one's business."

"Nothing is anyone's business," he said bluntly, "but that doesn't mean you can't share the better parts of your life with people. It doesn't mean people can't find out we're together. That's how relationships work." He stopped to look at her. "If you want to hide it so badly, what's the point?"

"Stop it," she said standing up. "It's not…" She took a deep breath. "I like this. This is great. Don't think I don't enjoy it. I...I've never been in a relationship before—not a proper one. I don't..." She kept stopping and struggling to find the words. "It's terrifying, alright? I don't even know how to be in one. I sure as hell don't know how to act in one. I'm not that girl. I never have been."

He stared at her for a long moment. So long in fact that she started to feel a little strange standing there caught in this crossfire of awkward tension. He had to know this wasn't easy for her—if he knew her at all, he had to understand that. Had he really expected her to just jump into things without any hesitation?

"You said you fancied me that one night," he finally said. "Did you mean that?"

She nodded. "Yes, I meant that. I wouldn't be carrying on with you the way we've been the last two weeks if I didn't."

"You carried on with Davies for ages and you were always adamant about not fancying him."

"That…" Shit, that was a fair point and she wished she hadn't said that. But he had to realize it was different this time. Her feelings were different, despite her fear of actually showing them to him. How she felt about him and how she felt about Davies could not have been more opposite, but he obviously didn't see it that way. "That was different. I do fancy you, but it doesn't make the whole going public thing any easier for me."

"So, what?" You want to keep things quiet and without any real attachment? That's what I'm getting from this?"

She stared at him, unsure of what to say. Truthfully, that was exactly what she wanted since it seemed like the best way to keep herself from getting hurt. If she didn't commit to a relationship, there couldn't be any messy breakups where they hated each other later. She didn't have to worry about another person affecting her life so much. She didn't have to care so much, even though she did care about him—she just had no idea how to show him that. She wanted to keep things exactly as they were without all of the emotional baggage, but Jack obviously was not on board for that. He wanted more. She wasn't even sure if she was capable of more. The idea of that made her chest clench.

"Look," he said finally, his voice calmer than before. "I can handle you needing some time to work things out and hopefully meeting me on the other end. But if you don't think this is something you can ever do…" He screwed his face up in almost a pained sort of way before straightening it out. "You need to tell me because I can't keep going if we don't want the same things."

She found her breaths growing slow and even. He couldn't keep going if they didn't want the same things. He was essentially telling her they'd have to stop if they didn't get on the same page. But why was it his page they had to get on? Why was it so important that they be real and proper? They had a really good thing going right now.

"But why does it have to be official or whatever?" she asked. "Why do we have to be as everyone else is?"

"It's not being like everyone else, it's having a relationship," he said. "I don't want to see other people because I fancy you and have for a long time. Do you want to see other people?"

"No," she said quietly. What kind of question was that? Who else was she going to see?

"Then I'm not seeing why…?" He trailed off, sounding more and more frustrated. "You say you fancy me, you say you don't want to see other people, you enjoy the time we're together, everything's been great…" He stared at her. "That's pretty fucking official. What am I missing? You just don't want me to call you my girlfriend? You want to be able to deny that even if everything else ticks a box?"

When he put it like that it sounded really stupid. But oddly enough, that summed it up well. The word girlfriend really did make her heart race in an inexplicable way—and not in the butterflies and excitement type.

"I don't know what sort of shit Davies got in your head about relationships and how not to be in one, but that was with him," he said. "That's not me. And I don't want anything like what you two had. If that's all you're capable of doing then…"

"Then what?"

"Then we need to stop."

"I don't want to stop," she said immediately. The words had come out before she'd even had a moment to process them. She didn't want to stop. There had to be a way to come to some sort of middle ground.

"I don't either. But I don't want to fall harder and harder for you and then find out we want completely different things. It would hurt now to stop, it would be so much worse down the line."

She blinked and looked down at the floor. "Ok. You're right. Obviously Davies got in my head and did a number on it and I just need some time to...work things out." She looked at him. "Can I get a little time to sort myself out?"

"Yeah," he said, sounding far away. "If you think there's a chance, then yeah."

She nodded, shifting her weight awkwardly and not really knowing what else to say. "I get that you won't wait around forever. I know that."

"I won't," he said as he turned to pick up his bag and headed for the door. "But I've waited this long."