Chapter 20- Left Ring Finger
*All rights to Kiera Cass*
BookLoverIsGoingInsane- i don't discriminate either :) though you may disagree when you read this
Gummybear1178- thank you so much! i love my babies so much and im so happy i can do them justice
Aubreylovesthegames- this made me laugh
Fangirl5300- sorry it took me a month and a half lol, happy you like it!
Bluebelles112- girl its a lil sad for me too, thanks for being an og
LadyMadisonSchreve- my love this was both the longest and one of the sweetest comments i have ever received. Thank you thank you thank you
BlissfulBillie- aha yes! my queen forever
KMlovesfanfics- i say that we're getting to the end and then i end up writing 2,000 words of not finishing it because this story has a life of its own. But happy you liked it! Also yes. I combined your idea with a couple of the actual proposals in the elite. Thank u for that btw
Virtue01- thank you for always commenting! Makes my day :) happy you liked it and it is 100% Georgia
DBZfanLou- sorry i had to do it….. Just wait until you read this one
Sk8rgirl- hi love! I love that you love this ahh
Aaksupertrooper- here u go :)
Guest- thank u thank u
To all of you that read, liked, followed, favorited, or reviewed BC thank you forever and ever. I love y'all so much and i'm so incredibly thankful that you guys like this story.
Guys this physically hurt to write but I also love how it turned out. As a reader, I really am sorry for doing this. As a writer, I'm just a touch excited to see you all react to this ahaha. Starting to understand rick riordan's dedication for house of hades lol. Anyway, I just went and outlined the rest of this story. There will be 6 more chapters after this. I'll give more updates on other plans as we get closer to the ending. Again, thank you so so much for supporting and reading this story. When I first started writing I thought that it wouldn't be longer than 10 chapters. Now I'm posting the 20th chapter. Life is crazy and I love y'all and your support so much! I hope that you enjoy this chapter and I'll update again soon!
Sooo… without further ado,
Chapter 20- Left Ring Finger
Elise took my hand before the doors swung open to Silvia's daily lessons that morning. We were both tired from waking up in the middle of the night, but I hadn't slept since Maxon's announcement. On Saturday I could be engaged to Maxon. It was Thursday.
I could be engaged to Maxon in two days and I still hadn't even talked to him. A pit sat in
my stomach like a pile of rocks. I loved Maxon more than I ever thought possible. I knew he loved me. But he wouldn't talk to me.
Silvia stood at the front of the room when we sat down. She smiled before stifling a yawn. I chuckled internally, me too.
"In two days, one of you will formally become Prince Maxon's future wife and the next Princess of Illea. There is not much else I can teach you," she sighed, smiling again. "Today I would like you to write a letter to your family. Try to relax. This will be over soon."
Part of me whispered that that's what I was afraid of. I didn't want us to end. I didn't want to lose my best friends. I took a deep breath.
I was writing to my family. I wanted to say home. I knew that I should be able to call Carolina home, but it wasn't. Not anymore. Maxon was my home. But my family. I got to see them after my injury. But it was so brief before then they left. I missed them so much. But I would see them on Saturday.
I didn't realize I started writing until I looked down at the ink on the page. The words flooded out of me.
Maxon,
Today is November 23. Three months ago, you celebrated the birthday that started this whole thing. I never thought I would love you. We both knew that I just wanted some good food and the extra money sent back to my family. I used to watch you on TV and say that you looked like an automan. You never smiled on the Report and there was always that mask that I still hate. I never thought you would be someone I could love.
I wasn't planning on loving you. But you are the epitome of good, Maxon Schreave. You made me fall in love with you. You called me your darling and took pictures when I wasn't looking and tugged your ear and sent strawberry tarts to my sister and gave me jeans even though she didn't cry. I fell in love with you so slowly that I didn't even realize that I loved you until I saw Aspen and realized that the dreams I had before I came here looked so different from the ones I have now. I love you, Maxon.
And then you proposed. I don't think I have ever been happier in my life. Never. And it was so right. It was so us. There were so many times that we rewrote our own histories. A rebel attack before I had barely said yes was more than apt for us. You promised me that I would see that ring one day.
You are everything I want. You are the only one I want. I never wanted to be queen or to rule. I never wanted the spotlight. But I don't want a quiet life as a 5 in Carolina anymore. I want the Capital Reports every Friday. I want the piles of papers on laws and policy that give me a headache. I want beautiful dresses and shoes I can't walk in. I want walks in the gardens. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want to fill this palace with the sound of our children's laughter. I want a life with you-whatever that means.
We haven't talked for more than a minute in far too long. We live in the same place, but I miss you more than I miss my parents and my siblings. I miss you. You choose on Saturday. I always thought that I wouldn't worry about your choice. First I thought that I wouldn't want to be your wife-that I wouldn't really care about your choice for any reason other than I was your friend. And then I fell in love with you. I worried until you got down on a knee and I said yes. But I'm worried again, Maxon. I keep praying to see the ring you proposed with months ago.
I want so badly to be your wife. I want to be your queen, Maxon. I was scared about ruling and loving you for such a long time. But I'm not scared anymore. I can't imagine any life without you, Maxon.
Forever tugging my ear,
Your America
I sighed and rolled the pen between my fingers. Elise was still writing next to me. Silvia looked at me expectantly. I flashed her a small smile and looked back down at my paper. There wasn't anything else I could say without Maxon there to respond. I swallowed hard.
"I can send that to your family if you would like, Lady America." Silvia said warmly.
"No, I'll send it," I replied. "Thank you for offering."
She nodded and went back to her work. She hadn't said what it was, but she was likely finalizing the plans for the Choosing Ceremony. Goodness knew there was enough to do for the Palace's elaborate events.
"You can go, ladies." She didn't look up from her work. I smiled at her anyway.
Her desk was only a step away from our table. "Thank you, Silvia," I whispered to avoid disturbing Elise. "For everything."
She grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Of course, Lady America. It was my pleasure."
I squeezed back quickly and left the room quietly. My note to Maxon was folded in my hands. I passed it back and forth between my fingers as I walked, not knowing where I was going. When I glanced up, the guard outside Maxon's door was grinning at me.
"Long time, no see, stranger," Officer Anderson joked. I smiled back at him. It was long-too long. Maxon's closest guards and I had gotten to know each other in my time at the Palace. I considered many of them my friends now. I had missed their knowing smiles, waggling brows, and whispered jokes almost as much as I had missed Maxon.
"How are you, Joe?" I resisted the urge to pull him into a hug.
"I'm good. Rita and I got married last week." A broad smile spread across his face and his eyes lit up. He and his wife grew up together in Waverly and both got jobs at the Palace only months apart. He used to ask me advice for things to say or flower arrangements when I was waiting for Maxon after a meeting or before dinner.
I smiled back. "Congratulations! One day, you'll have to stop hiding her away and let me meet her. Especially now that she's your wife!"
Joe laughed. "Of course, America."
I bit my lip trying to decide if I should ask if he was there or if I should just leave the note with Joe to give him later. "He's inside. You didn't hear this from me, but I think he was hoping you'd show up."
I tried and failed to hold back a smile. "Thank you, Joe. Tell Rita I say hi!"
He squeezed my shoulder and opened the door to Maxon's room.
Maxon didn't look up from his work at the sound of the door opening. He was hunched over his desk with a pile of papers. More than one of them had copious amounts of red ink marring the crisp typeset. "You can leave it on the bedside table, Ben. Thank you."
I swallowed hard and stayed silent. My feet were rooted to the floor. The love of my life was sitting less than five steps from me and I couldn't find the words to say anything or the energy to take a step towards him.
"Is there something wrong, Ben?" Maxon started to turn. "Mom said she would give you the papers-"
His eyes locked on me and he froze, nameless emotions swirling on his face. "You're not Ben."
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. It didn't go away. I shook my head slowly. Maxon stood and crossed the distance, leaving one foot between us. He was close enough to touch, but his face was closed off now. And that one foot felt like miles.
His throat bobbed. "America, I…"
I bit my lip. His eyes followed. I extended the hand with my letter. Maxon glanced down and took it.
I cleared my throat. "Um… I just wanted to, um, give this to you."
I trailed off and started walking towards the door.
"America."
I turned around again far quicker than was necessary. Surely he knew. Of course he knew how much I loved him. It was he that was second guessing us-not me. Not anymore. But there was a glimmer of something in his eyes like he was surprised that I would still turn for him. Like he was surprised I still loved him after everything.
He dropped his royal mask so I could see everything written on the planes of his face. My heart broke at the desperation in his eyes. This was it. He was going to end it. I blinked away tears forming in my eyes. I wouldn't cry in front of him. His wasn't a shoulder I could run to anymore. We were done.
I wouldn't see his ring on my left ring finger. I wouldn't feel his lips on my forehead. I wouldn't joke about our children's peanut butter fingerprints with him. I wouldn't hear his awful laugh in my ears. I wouldn't grow up with him. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
I smiled sadly, trying to keep my lip from shaking. "I know, Maxon. It's okay."
I left the room before he had the chance to say anything else. Joe's face softened when he saw the tears streaking down my face. I shook my head and rushed past him. The halls were quiet. Celeste and Marlee were still here, but stayed in their rooms or the Women's Room mostly now that they didn't have the obligations of a Selected.
Aspen stood at my door. He had the door open for me as soon as he saw me at the end of the hall. I tried to flash him a watery smile. We loved each other once. And then I hated him. But he was trying so hard to be my friend. He was there when everything was falling apart. I would never love him the same way again, but I could always use another brother.
I was still crying when I fell asleep. Part of me thought I would never stop crying. Maxon may have ended it, but he still held my heart whether he wanted it or not.
Thunder cracked outside my window. Celeste dropped her cards on the table. Her eyes softened. "Are you really okay? We all thought it would be you."
Marlee nodded in agreement. I didn't respond. I didn't think I could. I thought it would be me too. I loved him so much I could barely breathe now that I thought he didn't love me back anymore. But it wasn't me. Not for him.
"I'll be fine. He's just a boy." My lip quivered. He wasn't just a boy. Maxon would never be just a boy.
I looked down to hide the tears flooding my eyes. I felt their arms wrap tightly around me. Not for the first time, I thanked God that I found my best friends. I didn't know what I would have done without them.
The door opened across the room. "America, I-" Maxon's words died on his lips.
I jerked my head up. He stood in my doorway with a stack of envelopes in his hand. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbow and his blond hair was rumpled. I could only have imagined how many times his hands ran through it. I wiped away a few stray tears.
Celeste and Marlee untangled themselves from around me. Marlee shook her head, flashed me a sad smile, and left without another word. Celeste had another idea. She stalked up to Maxon like a predator surveying her prey. Murder was written in her eyes. I stood quickly.
"Celeste," I called. She turned back to meet my eyes. "It's okay."
She still murmured something to Maxon that made his face go white before the door clicked shut behind her. We were alone. I used to feel so safe alone with Maxon. Now all I could think about was the pit in my stomach and the growing hole in my heart. I wrapped my arms around my torso.
Maxon crossed the room to me. I took a step back. He stopped short like I had slapped him. You chose this Maxon. I didn't want this. You don't get to look hurt. You don't get to make me feel bad.
"I read your letter." He blurted it out like he didn't mean to say it. Maxon bit his lip.
I nodded. "Okay."
"I-I…" Thunder boomed outside my windows again, cutting Maxon off. The balcony doors shook on their hinges. I watched a raindrop slide down the pane.
"It never rains here. I missed the rain."
"I...Will you come with me?" He glanced behind me and shook his head. I wrung my hands. "There's something I want to show you."
I paused. I swallowed hard. He extended a tentative hand. "Okay," I whispered and took his hand. He pulled me out of the room and down the quiet halls. For a moment, I forgot that he would choose Elise tomorrow. I forgot that he wouldn't pull me down the Palace halls again. It broke my heart all over again.