"How are you?" Alniss enquired cautiously. She was busy in the kitchen, preparing herself some breakfast before she headed out to the café for the day, and turned when she heard the door open to reveal Kalran, looking exhausted.

"Tired," the other Yeerk admitted, half-stumbling across to the kettle.

"I'll do it," Alniss said quickly. "Tea?"

Kalran certainly looked exhausted: there were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a total mess, as though she'd been tossing and turning all night, which she probably had.

"Please," she managed.

"Sit down," Alniss said softly. "I'll get you some breakfast."

Kalran shook her head. "I'm already running late, I need to get dressed."

"Do that, then. I'll get you some breakfast, schrellatie."

Kalran nodded her thanks distractedly, hurrying out of the room. Alniss felt a pang of sympathy as she watched her go. She remembered the pain of her own mates' loss acutely. While losing them to death was worse, Alniss was glad she hadn't had to endure the slow drifting apart that Kalran had, or the pain and indignity of seeing them with others.

Alniss arranged a cup of tea, bowl of cereal and orange juice on the breakfast bar, and perched there with her own breakfast as she waited for Kalran to come back in.

When she reappeared, Kalran looked a little better: smartly dressed, she'd applied makeup and brushed her hair, but still looked pale and drawn.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alniss asked as Kalran sat down.

Kalran shook her head. "Thank you for this," she said instead, indicating the breakfast. "It's very kind of you. I know you must feel I deserve this pain."

"No," Alniss said softly, feeling a twist of guilt. "No. I- I'm sorry, for how I was with you at the start. It hurt so much to have lost them, I- I still wasn't myself."

Kalran reluctantly swallowed a mouthful of cereal: she was mostly stirring her breakfast around the bowl, eating little. "It's alright. I still wonder whether I did the right thing. So many Yeerks…" she trailed off, her eyes swelling with tears.

Alniss felt another wave of empathy and searched for something to say that might help the other Yeerk feel better. She had to do a whole day at the lab, after all, and she looked ill-enough equipped for that without starting to feel guilty as well. "So many humans," she countered. "And Hork-Bajir, too. So many enjoying the freedom you helped to win them. Back with their families, their friends. And the Yeerks who survived…" she trailed off, choking back her own tears as she remembered the ones who hadn't. "Well, we're not the best off, that's true, there are plenty of problems, but we don't have to live under the fear of the Empire anymore. And that's what you intended, Kalran. I know now that you never wanted Yeerk deaths. The Animorphs are to blame, maybe the Andalites, too. Not you."

"And the voluntary hosts?" Kalran challenged.

She seemed determined to think badly of herself, and Alniss almost didn't answer, but she made herself do so. She could remember the crushing despair she'd first felt after the war, how she hadn't been able to see anything good in the world, so understood Kalran wasn't being deliberately obstructive.

"How old do you think the Empire would have let Maya get before they took her?" She asked forcefully. "Can you imagine anything good coming from that for Jasmine? Carla, admittedly, would probably have been better off, but I'm not so sure about most of the voluntary hosts. And if the Animorphs and Andalites had allowed a better peace deal, my Silrin might have survived and voluntary infestation be allowed from the start, and that would have been no worse for Carla than the Empire. Probably better. That was what the movement wanted, wasn't it?"

She didn't really believe the last part of that herself: the Empire had protected Carla in a way it couldn't have done where there were other free humans around, who would certainly have discriminated against her, even to the point of violence, for remaining a host. And she still believed the Empire winning would have been much better for Yeerks, in the long run. It wasn't like they could trust any other species to care about them, she reasoned, although a small voice in her head insistently reminded her of the sacrifices Elsa and her friends were making for the pool-bound Yeerks, and how wonderful a friend Carla was. But Kalran had been so low in the last few days that Alniss was deeply concerned for her, and if she could make things even a fraction easier then she was happy to lie.

"It's not what happened, though," Kalran said dully, putting her spoon down into the half-finished cereal. "Thank you for your kindness, Alniss. I- I can't eat any more." With what seemed like gargantuan effort, she pushed herself to her feet. "Tilniss is coming tonight, to stay for the weekend. I've managed to get a few days off with her."

"That's nice," Alniss replied. "That'll help you feel better, I'm sure."

"Yes." Kalran's voice was flat, without excitement. "I've missed her." Kalran turned towards the door and took a few steps before turning back. "Tonight, when you take Carla, will you tell Oglud-" Kalran broke off, looking unsure for a moment.

Alniss waited, sympathy for the other Yeerk's pain foremost in her heart.

"Tell- tell them I – that I – tell them I'm okay. Tell them I – I hope they are, too. I want them to be happy."

"Of course," Alniss said gently.

To say Alniss wasn't looking forward to the visit to the Pool was an understatement. Not only did it bring back memories of being a true Yeerk that she'd rather forget, as it reminded her of both the people and the body she'd lost, it also meant translating Oglud and Carla's words to each other. That was a very uncomfortable prospect. Alniss tried to conceal her unease on the bus ride over but realised she hadn't been entirely successful as they crossed the field towards the entrance.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Carla said gently, touching Alniss' arm.

Alniss felt the surge of warmth flood through her that she'd begun to associate with any connection with Carla. "Of course," she said, trying to sound unreservedly positive. "I wouldn't want you to miss out on talking to them. And I'm sure they'll be glad of your support. I know Kalran was."

Carla shook her head sadly. "It's crap for her right now, isn't it? Soon as she starts to feel better something else comes along."

"Yes," Alniss agreed. "Her sister's coming this weekend, though, did she tell you?"

"Tilniss, right? Yeah, she did. Can't believe they sent them to opposite ends of the country."

Alniss nodded. "It's very unfair." She paused, tearing up slightly. "That's where they sent Nirlin and Haliss, too."

Carla stopped walking for a second, looking shocked. "They're still alive?"

"Yes." Concerned, Alniss reached out a hand to Carla. Nirlin and Haliss were her other schrelna, Silrin's schrelna too, and she could see why Carla was emotional. They were living connections to Silrin, too, just as Alniss was.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Carla asked.

"You- you didn't ask." Secretly, Alniss knew it was more than that, even if the motivation had been largely unconscious. She'd enjoyed having Carla's friendship to herself, being her link to Silrin, and knew the other two would complicate that. "I told them I'd found you."

"I didn't ask because I thought they might be dead, too." Carla's face was pale. "I didn't want to hurt you."

The contrast of Carla's selfless motivation to her own stung, and Alniss hung her head. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."

There was a second's silence. "It's okay," Carla said gently, touching Alniss' shoulder. "I understand. I- do you still talk to them?"

Alniss nodded. "Do you want to speak to them?" she anticipated, looking up to meet Carla's eyes.

Carla nodded. "I'd love to."

The trip down the stairs to the Pool was deeply unpleasant. Alniss felt sick, watching those Andalites with their blades to Carla's throat. They were so rude to her, too, as much as they were to Alniss herself if not more, and she hated that. She put a protective arm around Carla as soon as she could, while they sat waiting on the chairs, and glared around as though daring anyone to come too close.

Carla smiled at her. "You're really looking after me, huh?"

Alniss hesitated. "You'd rather I…"

"No, you're fine. I mean, I'm pretty sure I can handle things myself, but it's kinda sweet." Carla looked down. "It's only ever been you and Silrin who've been that bothered about what happens to me."

Alniss was surprised by the pain in Carla's voice. Where had that come from? "You may be being unfair on Kalran, there. I expect on Oglud, too. Not to mention everyone else in the apartment. Akhir and Jasmine, even. We all care about you."

Carla snorted. "I don't think Akhir does. Certainly not Jasmine. But yeah, fair enough, I guess the others do. Kal and Oglud especially."

Uncertain how to respond to that, Alniss gave Carla's shoulders a squeeze. She felt the human shift slightly closer to her as she let her own eyes drift away, across the cavern. The waiting area was busy with Yeerks, as it always was, but the Pool itself looked deserted compared to how Alniss remembered it. There'd been far too many of them in there, really, in the Empire days, and the surface had permanently churned with brief flashes of grey as Yeerks were pushed upwards by the sheer volume of others. Now it was flat and undisturbed, the vastly reduced numbers it contained no doubt swimming twenty centimetres or so below the surface, where the warmth of the Kandrona was still strong but there was enough depth to feel safe. It was strange to miss the body she'd spent so much effort getting away from, but she had to admit that was what she was feeling. Or perhaps it was the joyful times she'd spent in that Pool: playing with her siblings as a child, chasing Silrin and the others and dancing around each other; palp-to-palp with friends, sharing the depth of memories and feelings that was no longer possible in a human body; twining her body around her mates', relishing in the closeness. Either way, she felt a sudden longing to be in there, bathed in the Kandrona's warmth, and hastily turned her face away, looking towards Carla.

"You alright?" Carla asked her, looking concerned.

"Yes," Alniss said quickly. "Of course. I just… it's complicated, being here."

Carla nodded. "Yeah. Me too." She glanced towards the alcove in the rock wall where the line of cages used to sit. "I- I feel…" She stopped herself, shaking her head instead of saying whatever it was she was about to say. "Alniss, do you think Elsa's okay?"

Alniss hesitated. The same question had kept slipping into her own mind, too, much as she wished it hadn't. "Why do you ask that? It's hardly your fault if she isn't, is it?"

Carla shrugged, looking away. "I guess. I- I dunno, I didn't try to-"

"You couldn't have done anything," Alniss said hurriedly. "Honestly, Carla, there was nothing you could have done. You don't need to beat yourself up about it. Let us take the responsibility."

Carla shook her head. "It wasn't your fault either."

"I think Elsa might disagree with that, but I'm inclined to agree with you. Anyway, either way, it's done."

Hesitantly, Carla began to open her mouth again, but they were interrupted when one of the guards jerked his tailblade towards the door on the other side of the cavern.

(It's time. Move.)

Bristling at his insolence, Alniss stood up, and bit back her rage as yet again a tailblade hovered in front of Carla's throat. She was glad when they made it into the cavern where the communicator was held and they were able to step a few strides away from the Andalite guards. Her relief was short-lived, however, as her nervousness about the conversation with Oglud resurfaced.

Slowly, Alniss stepped over to the computer terminal, Carla following close at her heels, and arranged her fingers over the Galard letters.

Oglud, it's Alniss. I'm going to translate for Carla. I don't know if Kalran told you. May the Kandrona shine and strengthen you.

Oglud's response was swift. And you, Alniss. Thank you for doing this. How are you?

I'm well. Yourself? Alniss replied briefly.

I'm fine, thank you. I'm glad Carla's come, will you tell her that? How is she?

Alniss relayed the message and question as neutrally as she could and felt a twinge of what she had to admit was jealousy when Carla beamed in response.

"I'm great. How are they? Are they okay? It must be so difficult for them."

"They say they're fine." Alniss replied, without bothering to type the question again.

Carla frowned. "You didn't ask."

"I already did, when I greeted them," Alniss responded, frowning. "You want me to ask again?"

Carla nodded impatiently, and Alniss hurriedly relayed her words to Oglud.

Tell her I'm doing okay, honestly. It's news I'd expected for some time, so it hasn't hurt me as much as it might otherwise have done. Will you ask Carla how Kalran is? I don't want to pry more than Kalran would want to tell me, but I am worried about her.

I can tell you. She's upset, of course she is, but she's managing, Alniss responded.

There was a pause before anything came back from Oglud.

"What did they say?" Carla asked impatiently.

"They're fine. They asked after Kalran, I told them how she was."

The terminal pinged with another message from Oglud. Thank you for telling me, Alniss, but I would rather hear from Carla, if that's alright. I know Kalran has spoken with her. Will you tell her I'm extremely grateful for her support to us both. She really is incredible.

Alniss tensed, irritated at the warmth in Oglud's words, but relayed the message to Carla with some reluctance.

"'Least I can do," Carla said, smiling and staring at the terminal as though the Galard would become readable to her if she just looked hard enough. "Are they sure they're okay?"

It's been difficult, Oglud responded, after a pause. More so before this than now. I've been wondering for a long time when this news would come, but now it's here… well, I almost feel better, paradoxical as that might seem.

Alniss frowned. Difficult or not, Oglud shouldn't tell Carla that: you protected your host, which clearly from the warmth of their tone Oglud thought Carla was, though they had little right to.

"Nah, I reckon that's pretty normal," Carla replied, once Alniss had relayed the message to her. "It can be easier to know what's happening than be wondering."

Yes, I think that's what it is, Oglud replied. Alniss, will you ask Carla how Kalran is?

Carla hesitated before responding, glancing at Alniss. "I want to tell them the truth. It's not fair, they can't see for themselves, I feel they need me to be honest, but… I know Kalran's been trying to shield them. I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Do you want my opinion?" Alniss asked, uncertain. "I told her Kalran was upset but managing okay."

Carla nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's a good balance. Honest, but not too detailed. Tell them, tell them as well that I'm helping Kalran as much as I can. And if there's anything they want me to do to help I'm happy to."

That's so wonderfully kind of you, Carla, Oglud responded. I'm sure Kalran appreciates it very much, and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

Did they have to exaggerate like that? Alniss thought irritably. She repeated the words verbatim anyway, trying to keep her tone neutral: it was clear Carla wanted to know exactly what was said.

Carla smiled. "You're welcome," she said, looking at the screen as though talking to Oglud directly now.

Alniss gritted her teeth as she relayed the message. After it, she added: Before we move on, Oglud, Kalran also asked me to tell you she hopes you're okay. She wants you to be happy.

There was a slight pause again. I know. Would you tell her the same, Alniss?

Of course.

After thanking her, Oglud began to ask after Carla's work, and the conversation soon moved into an easy back-and-forth between the two of them. They were speaking as though talking directly to each other, now, and Alniss felt like little more than a ship's computer as she relayed the messages between them. Carla was curious about the Empire modules Oglud was taking; Oglud asked after anything from Carla's work to going for a coffee to a walk in the park with a hunger for sensory detail that Carla seemed only too eager to fill, describing every detail she could remember.

Alniss bit her lip, finding herself beginning to glance with impatience at the Andalite guards, wondering when the time would be over. Guilt twinged at her as soon as she did so: she knew Carla would be disappointed for the time to end.

Her guilt wasn't helped when, almost immediately, the guard said: (One minute.)

Alniss' fingers flew across the keypad to relay the last few messages between the two.

Goodbye for now, Carla. Thank you so much for visiting me, you've really helped me. You really are incredible. And thank you, Alniss, for making this possible. It must be strange, to translate like this. I really appreciate your kindness. I know that you… Carla told me, about your schrellie, and I've been wanting to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your sister would be overjoyed to know you're a friend to Carla: it's what I would want, someone looking out for my Srynala. Ilkiss did, for a while, and it helped me more than I can say, to know that.

For a while? Is she okay? Alniss hastened to reply, partly to distract herself from the memory of Silrin. She was grateful for Oglud's words: to feel that she was doing the right thing for Silrin was a balm to her pain.

She's fine. I hope so, at least. She went to be with her fellow Taxxons in the rainforest. It was too lonely for her here. She's morphed as a top predator and she's a long way from any humans, so I hope that she'll be safe.

(Time's up,) the Andalite snapped.

I'm sorry, Oglud, we have to go. I feel awful leaving without acknowledging that last message properly, but I'm sure she'll be fine. Carla will come again with Kalran next time; tell her if you want us to arrange to come separately again, I'm happy to translate for her. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Alniss. Thank you for everything.

Just after they sat down on the bus home, Carla suddenly reached over and grasped Alniss' hand.

"Thank you for today," Carla said softly, smiling at her. "It means so much to me. I know it must have been weird. I'm sorry, I felt I was just using you as a translation service, but I…"

"It's alright," Alniss said gently. "I'm happy to do anything that helps you, you must know that."

Carla nodded emphatically, smiling. "I know. I… I know it probably wasn't easy for you. Oglud and I, it… it must feel strange for you."

Alniss looked away, out of the window. She couldn't tell Carla how she felt: she couldn't shake off the feeling that it was weak to let Carla see her negative emotions at the best of times, and she knew she couldn't let her know she felt jealous. It wasn't fair. She had no right to feel that, she told herself, Carla was her own person, and yet the emotion wouldn't go away.

"Alniss?"

Alniss felt Carla press closer to her side, which didn't help.

"Alniss, look at me, please."

Reluctantly, Alniss turned to meet her eyes.

"Oh, honey," Carla said softly, squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry. Look, we- we won't do this again. It isn't fair on you."

"No. No, please, Carla. Let me help you. I know you've enjoyed today, and I'm glad about that. Oglud-" Alniss' voice choked for a moment. "Oglud means a lot to you."

"Yeah," Carla admitted, glancing down. "They do. But still not as much as you mean to me, Alniss." She met Alniss' eyes again. "You're my… my best friend, my… you're like a sister to me, if that isn't too painful a thing to say, with Silrin and everything. I'll always feel that way, you know, no matter what happens with Oglud."

Alniss dropped her eyes to the ground, noticing with shame that tears were beginning to prickle her eyelids. "I know. I- thank you, Carla. And you know that I- that I care about you, too, don't you?"

Carla squeezed her hand again, gently. "Of course I do."