Summary: "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix

Mature content and themes, explicit language.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.

Chapter 21: Greys

She'd managed to make it through yet another day without seeking him out.

She didn't glance over to the Slytherin table during mealtimes, and she didn't turn to look at him during their classes.

She was growing too attached to him. She already was too attached to him. When she found him in the bathroom almost a month ago, she never expected to be in the situation she was in right now. She had simply wanted to help him, guide him...but now there was something more.

It shouldn't have happened. She shouldn't have allowed it. It would all end up hurting her in the end. And what hurt her the most of all was the fact that she had no idea how Draco felt.

He was the one who initiated all their encounters, even after how hard she tried to push him away. He was always the one to kiss her first.

But after it was over, he was the one to push her away.

She knew he didn't believe in all the bullshit he claimed to believe. She knew he had doubts from even before she had found him in the bathroom. She knew he wasn't like that. He wasn't like them. She knew.

She saw it in his eyes. She saw his wavering beliefs, and she saw him desperately trying to cling on to them. He was constantly in a war with himself, desperate to not admit defeat.

She just needed to push him in the right direction. She needed to guide him onto the right path. Tug on the right strings, until they finally came undone.

But she didn't know if she could do that anymore. She didn't know if she could take it anymore. After what happened on the night of the Ball. She didn't know.

It was crushing her. She couldn't continue to interact with him if they would be that way. He was the first person she'd had sex with after Krum…

He had been so gentle. She still remembered how he touched her like she was glass. She still remembered him cooing into her ears, saying everything was okay. He remembered how slowly he went, until she finally released his hand.

She knew continuing to try to help him would cause her to grow even more attached. She knew it would hurt her even more.

But she couldn't help it. She couldn't leave him to suffer. She couldn't let him get hurt.

Because she cared.

He couldn't fucking take it.

She hadn't looked at him the entire day. Hadn't even glanced at him once, no matter how many times he looked.

It was pissing him off.

He needed something. A small gesture of recognition. A look from her honey coloured eyes. A smile. A touch.

A kiss…

She'd somehow become a necessity, and he didn't know how it had happened.

He knew he shouldn't have pushed her away like that the other morning. He shouldn't have said those things to her. He shouldn't have made her feel like shit. Not after everything she'd given him.

It was only her second time, after almost two years. She was in pain at first, and he made sure to be as gentle as possible. She was giving him so fucking much, and he didn't know the fuck why.

He remembered her confession as clear as crystal, as he replayed it in his head for the hundredth time.

"I don't know if this isn't clear, but I like you, Draco. I don't regret doing what we did. And I think you don't either."

She had said it like it had been the easiest thing to ever say. She acted like it wasn't him she was speaking to, she acted like she was speaking to someone...good.

He was the villain. The death eater. Lucius Malfoy's son. She was Gryffindor's golden girl, the brightest witch of her age, Harry Potter's best friend. He was part of the dark, while she fought for the light.

He didn't know what he felt for her. He didn't know what the fuck to do, or what the fuck to believe. She sometimes said these little things that would stay on his mind for days, no matter how hard he tried to push her away.

One thing he learned was that pushing her away would only bring her closer.

Granger was becoming a problem. Had already become a problem. A problem he didn't know how to fix.

She slowly walked down to the common room, determined to go through her day as quickly as possible. The events of the Ball were still fresh in her mind, and she needed time alone.

Entering the common room, she found Harry, who was pacing, with a concerned look on his features. Finding her, he immediately rushed to her side, pulling her to a more secluded corner of the room, which would give them more privacy.

"Hermione," he began, "I was waiting for you. I needed to speak to you."

She'd been anticipating it since yesterday, and had been fully prepared for this conversation.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I want to speak about you and Ron."

She expected something like this. Either about the Ball, or Ron. Maybe even both.

"Yes?"

"Well...I've been paying attention to how you've been interacting with Ron these past few days."

"And?"

"And you seem...stiff. And then you didn't go to the Ball with him, which I don't blame you for, but it came to me as a complete shock. And...you've been distant these past few days."

She pursed her lips, taking in a deep breath, as she simply stared back at her best friend. Taking her silence as a sign to continue, he resumed speaking.

"Hermione, be completely honest with me. If there someone else?"

She thought she had prepared herself for it, but she really didn't know how to respond. Even she didn't know the answer to that question.

Was there someone else?

Images of her and Draco flashed in her mind. Them in the pumpkin patch. Them in the Halls. Them in the classroom. Them in the Room of Requirement. She couldn't just pretend all that had never happened.

"Yes. There is someone else."

Confessing the truth to Harry made her feel much better. It lifted a weight off her shoulder, and made her feel less terrible.

"Who?"

She paused for a moment, before turning back to respond.

"I'm sorry Harry, I can't tell you now. I want to, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"I...this is not the right time. One day, I'll tell you. I promise. But not right now."

He deserved her complete honesty, and nothing else. She would tell him about Draco one day, regardless of if anything else happened between them. She would tell him one day, but not right then.

"What's he like?"

She took a moment to nibble on her lip, contemplating her answer. Closing her eyes, she ran her fingers through her hair, as she finally spoke.

"He's...beautiful. He's not like everyone else, he's different. He's stoic and reserved, but sometimes he lets down his walls, and that's when you see glimpses of a completely different person. He never wants to show others how he truly feels, but when he does, he does it involuntarily, and that's when you see who he truly is. Who he could be."

She looked up to see if Harry was still listening, and when she saw that his eyes were still on her, she continued.

"It's these...flashes of...of who he truly is, that attract me to him. He's beautiful, in a cruel, punishing way."

She turned back to Harry, who seemed to be deep into his own thoughts. He took a few moments to take in everything she had just said, breathingly deeply. Realizing Hermione was waiting for a reply, he snapped out of his trance.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"It's okay if you can't tell me now, but I do expect an answer later. And Hermione...whatever you do, don't end up hurting yourself."

Smiling up at her friend, she leaned in to give him a hug, to which he responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding."

She wasn't sure if she herself understood it, but was grateful to have Harry's support. Grateful to have a friend like him in her life.

"Don't tell Ron about this yet." he said, retracting slightly.

"But-"

"No. He'll be crushed. Like you said, now is not the right time. When time comes...we'll tell him. But not now."

"I...okay." she reluctantly replied.

So many fucking secrets.

"We'll tell him, Hermione, but now is not the right time. Just...be careful. I don't want you to get hurt again. If you think you like this bloke…I'm okay with it. Just...be careful."

"I will." she replied, pulling away, giving him a smile.

"Hermione." he called. "Just...one last thing. Does he feel the same way about you?"

She closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around herself, taking a deep breath in.

"I have no idea."

He made his way to McGonagall's office, as he made his way through the crowd. He didn't know how he would pull through the detention. He didn't know if he could stand being in her presence for so long without folding.

He turned the corner, and noticed a pair of footsteps behind him. He craned his head slightly to see who it was, and immediately found a mane of curly brown hair.

Her.

He immediately began walking faster, desperate to put some distance between them.

He finally arrived at the Deputy Headmistress's door, and quickly turned the doorknob and slipped in, only pausing for a second to make sure the door didn't close on Granger's face.

"Good evening, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger." said the elderly witch, nodding to her students. "I'm sure the both of you are aware that this is your last detention together. After this, you are free on your Saturday and Sunday nights."

It was their last detention.

Two months had gone by, just like that, and he hadn't even realized it. He was beginning to see his detentions as an escape, but now, he wouldn't even have them to turn to. And Granger would slowly slip away.

"I was told that the broom shed is quite disorganized, so I will ask the two of you to go down and work on that. Madame Hooch will be down there to supervise you. Once you are done, you may come back to my office to collect your wands, and then you are free to go. Understood?"

"Yes Professor."

They got down to the quidditch field, where Madame Hooch greeted them. She went off to sit in the stands, as she directed Draco and Hermione to the broom shed.

The room really was a mess.

The brooms were scattered around everywhere, with almost no place to walk. The closets were all open, with brooms pouring out of them. Some broken pieces of wood were scattered around the ground, while every surface was coated with a layer of dust.

Both of them got to work, sorting the brooms out first, putting them in the correct spots.

"You don't complain anymore." spoke up Hermione, finally breaking the silence.

"What?"

"You don't complain about doing it the muggle way."

He paused for a moment, to wipe off the bead of sweat that was forming on his temple.

"It's such a mundane task. Anyone should be capable of doing it without magic."

"So you admit doing things the muggle way isn't degrading?"

They both knew what she was referring to. He remembered back to their first detention, back in the hospital wing.

"I've never degraded myself to do things like a muggle." He spat.

"It's sad," she whispered, this time not with hatred, but almost with...sadness, "it's sad you think doing things the muggle way is degrading. It's sad you still think that you're better than others just because of your blood. It's sad that you refuse to do such a mundane task as cleaning out bedpans, just because you have to do it the muggle way. It's sad, Malfoy."

Things had been so different back then. Back when they had still hated each other. Before anything had happened between them.

Before she found him sobbing in the bathroom. Before she yelled at him in the trophy room. Before he had apologized to her in the pumpkin patch, and then kissed her. Before the waking up in the Room of Requirement together. Before everything.

She smiled to herself, seeing how much he'd changed in these two months. He'd come such a long way, and she was confident she could continue to push him in the right direction.

"You haven't answered my question." she stated.

"I see nothing degrading about doing something so simple as reorganizing broomsticks without magic."

His comment made her smile the widest smile she'd smiled in months. He was changing. Faster than he cared to admit.

His beliefs were changing. His ideologies were changing. He was beginning to doubt everything he had been raised to believe, and was beginning to make his own decisions.

It only made her smile more.

It hadn't taken them long to reorganize every broom in the shed. Everything was in its place, and the room was tidy.

And it had been done by Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. Without magic.

They found themselves in the centre of the room, only inches away from one another. They looked into each other's eyes, Draco drowning in Hermione's chocolate coloured orbs. Without realizing what she was doing, Hermione began to speak.

"Your eyes," she began, softly, "They're grey. Just like you."

She took a moment to breathe, as she took in his minty scent, now just centimetres apart from him.

"The world isn't black and white. There are so many shades of grey, Draco. Grey represents all of us...we are all a different shade, each beautiful and unique in their own way. We think that everything is simple and set: everything has to be one of the two. We stigmatize and stereotype people based on these assumptions, and sometimes grow to believe things that seem so irrational. But the world isn't like that. Between black and white, there are thousands of shades of grey."

He took in everything she said, clinging to each and every one of her words. They were so close…

They stared into each other's eyes, both full of raw emotion, neither even attempting to put up a mask.

Draco slowly began to lower his head, rapidly closing the distance between them.

"No." breathed Hermione, putting her hands on his chest to push him away.

He stared at her, grounded to his spot, and only found sadness in her features.

"No." she repeated. "We both know how that will end. I can't do that to myself. Not again."

She'd said it so quietly, it had barely been a whisper.

But he'd heard each and every word.

a/n: finally done chapter 21! Took me a bit longer to post this one, I've been super distracted with reddit! r/nba was having a field day, and I certainly couldn't miss out on all the Clippers hate!

Hope you guys liked the chapter, I had a great time writing it.

Did anyone else see Tom Felton's Hermione to Hawaii Tik Tok? It was so cute! I really don't know what he's trying to say posting that typa shit, I mean c'mon, you have to be together if you're posting that.

I just want to thank frekles for always making the time to leave a review on every chapter. They mean so much to me. You're the best.

Once again, please, please, pleaseeeeee, review. They really motivate me to write, and they never fail to bring a smile to my face.

Love you guys,

Sydney.