A/N: Hello loyal readers! so, this is the last chapter, but as I mentioned in earlier chapters I do plan on writing a epilogue to this story. for those of you who have stuck with me and read all of the 29 previous chapters, thank you so much! Seeing rhe feedback and hearing the support motivated me a ton when I was struggling to write. So thank you!!!

This is the longest chapter in the story, but it is filled with the most detail and I really took my time making sure it was perfect for you guys! I hope you enjoy the final chapter of My Shot!! (this is also the chapter where the title makes sence for those of you who might be wondering )

He wanted to talk to me before he went to jail. I didn't want to refuse him. I had just ruined his life, so I felt it was only right that he could speak with me. Alex wasn't exactly fond of me talking with him at all. He didn't want me to be alone with him, which is what Jefferson had requested. As much as I reassured him that it would be short and I would keep my distance from Jefferson, Alex still wasn't happy with my choice. No matter what reason I presented, Alexander had a rebuttal ready to go. It was very annoying, to say the least.

"Alex, I'll be okay. Mr. Madison is going to be right outside the door and I know how to scream if he makes me feel uncomfortable. He just wants to talk to me alone."

"Do I seriously need to remind you what happened last time you were alone with him?" He spit his question at me.

"Alexander, why the hell would you bring that up?" I pause, his face falters. I mumbled lightly, "Do you want me to have another panic attack? Do you like seeing me crying? Do you like me to flinch at your touch, Alexander?"

He tries to say something, but it doesn't come out. I stop him, "I'll be fine, you need to relax. You act like I'm going to break apart if I see him. Get your panties out of a knot, stop viewing me as weak, and grow up. I want to talk to him. I need closure from him, and that could be what does it for me. And need I remind you that I could have ended his life, instead I was the one who put him in prison. The least I can go is talk to him privately."

I storm off, leaving Alex with a slack jaw and flushed cheeks. Mr. Madison leads me to where Jefferson is being kept, which turns out to be Alexander's office. He turns the knob and lets me walk in, closing the door behind me. He is standing right by the door, looking at the first letter I sent Alexander. I remember writing that the second the party was over, I was so excited that I might have found someone.

"Mr. Jefferson." I look at my feet.

"Mrs. Hamilton, you know I was reading this letter earlier and imagined what it would be like for you to write to me like that. It's a dream, one that I am trashing because of what I did to you. I feel like a dick, Mrs. Hamilton." I look up at him through my eye lashes. His eyes are filled with worry, "I wanted and wished just a little too hard, and now I am letting you go. It's not a good feeling, but I know I need to do this for you and for myself."

I ignore what he is talking about. I just want to hear what he has to say to me and leave.

"I hate to be rude, Mr. Jefferson, but my anxious husband is waiting for me outside and he wasn't exactly happy that I accepted your offer to come in here to talk, so what do you want?"

"I want to apologize for a lot of things. My testimony doesn't make up for your loss or trauma. My time in the slammer won't make up for it, either. I am fully aware of that. I am sorry for coming here to tell you about Alex and pulling you into the bathroom and touching you when I didn't have the right to."

"Mr. Jefferson," I look at him completely, "you didn't know at the time that you had dug up some very deep and very hidden emotional trauma. You just made light of it. There is no way you can undo the past, Mr. Jefferson. But I promise you that your apology means the world to me. It may not get rid of the pain or heart ache, but it does tell me that you do give two shits about me. Thank you. I really needed that."

"If I could go back in time…"

"I know you would, Mr. Jefferson. I would, too. There are things I would like to redo, too."

I let the silence sit between us for a moment. He looks kind. Like the Thomas I met up to talk with about murder. I remember why I trusted him, it was because he had a certain vibe about him that made you want to trust him.

He clears his throat, "Thank you, Eliza, for leaving out the embarrassing parts of our phone call and text messages and meeting."

"Anything to help us both save face. There are things that Angelica, Peggy and I talked about that I didn't want Alex to know, so it helped both of us." I take a deep breath, "Well, I should probably go. Alex is probably worried sick about me."

I turn to leave, he grabs my wrist lightly, "Hold on a second."

I gasp and start to myself loose oxygen, I can't breathe. His touch started to send me into shock, and he noticed and let go, "Shit, sorry. I literally can't do one thing without fucking it up."

I give myself 10 seconds to start to relax. It was hard to focus myself back. I calmed myself, "It's okay. I'm okay. What is it?"

"I just wanted to apologize for the mean things I said when I was upset." He stops for a second contemplating saying something else, then he does, "And also tell you that I love you. You probably hate my guts, but I can't change my feelings for you."

"Thomas," I grab his hand and I feel the panic start to open the flood gates in my body, but I ignore it, "Thank you. Your words are forgiven. Your actions need time to be forgiven, but I'll get there. And I don't hate you, if I hated you I would have taken the gun and shot you. I didn't do that, though. I could never hate you. You may have hurt me, but wounds heal, even emotional ones. And for what it's worth, you were a great friend before the whole 'assaulted in Peggy's bathroom' thing, but you know that's all we can ever be. Friends."

"I know, but I can't go my whole life feeling so good about something and not telling you the truth."

"I understand that. Thomas, you're a good man who made some poor choices in your life. You can change. I know you don't have parole now, but if you go for an appeal then you could. Don't give up hope because I'm not 100% yours."

"I'll try. Just promise me this, that even though you put me in jail, you'll still visit me ever once and awhile."

"Of course, I wouldn't want it any other way." I extend my arms out for a hug. He willingly takes it, but pulls away quickly. I was okay with that. I was making progress with my strength, but I was still anxious and his touch did scare me. I just masked it really well during the hug.

"I'll see you on the other side, Mrs. Hamilton."

"I'll see you on the other side, Mr. Jefferson. It won't be long, I give you my word on that." I turn and leave.

Never in one moment have I felt relief but also saddened by a situation. Jefferson was going to jail something that I wanted, but maybe I would miss him. Scratch that thought, I knew I would miss him. Whether he meant to or not, he shaped my life for both the better and for the worse. I was forever indebted to him, because while he made my life crazy he also exposed some serious mental things that I wouldn't have been able to find without him. He also opened my eyes to a different type of love. One that was unconventional and forbidden. It reminded me of something that I wanted to ask Alexander.

I found him quickly when I left his office. He was pacing the floor as if his movement was what was making the world turn. When he noticed my return, he rushed over to me.

"How was it? What happened? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. His fingers brushed a stray tear away from my cheek.

I nod, "I hope you don't mind, but I would like to keep that conversation private. I think that is the way it needs to be."

I didn't want to tell Alexander that I promised that I would visit him or that I hugged him or his confession of love. I just wanted to keep that to myself. It was personal and while I should share my progress, I just wanted to have this one thing for me since I had to share everything else about my life with people who didn't care enough or cared all too much.

"Oh, okay."

"I wanted to ask you a question. Could we go somewhere private?" Our house was rushing with people. Burr and Washington were talking while Judge Jay was trying to clean up the mess that he had made on our table.

He nods, grabbing my hand. We walk together into my office. I close the door and lock it. He sat down in the chair across from my desk chair. I don't sit, instead I pace across the floor with light footsteps.

"Alex, did you love her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Maria Reynolds. Did you, for even a second, love her?"

His body stands with such a force, it startles me. He is angry. I can tell he is trying to be calm, cool, and collected about this, but his eyes give him away. His face starts to turn a shade or two darker, "No, I didn't. I find it rather insulting that you would think that about me."

"I'm sorry to be insulting towards your pride, Alexander." I know what attacking his pride does, it hurts him the same way my trauma hurts me, "It's just that my eyes have been opened to different types of love. The kind that is perfect through every flaw and problem. The kind that is forbidden and shunned upon. The kind that is deemed unconventional by society for whatever reason, maybe because of marriage or another partner or because of the sexuality of those people. The kind that is open, without secrets and free. The kind that is closed, built off of secrets and lies. And the kind that is a secret for whatever reason."

"And you assume that I love Maria Reyonlds because of… what?"

"My talk with Jefferson. You know, that one that I don't want to talk about because I just spilled my guts to people who either don't care or cared too much and I want something for myself."

"Sorry to pry, but I want to know where this is coming from, Eliza."

"It's coming from me. It doesn't matter when the thought originated in my head, and it should have never mattered."

"Fine, doesn't matter." He raises his voice slightly, "What does matter is the fact that we put this behind us, so we could move forward, and you're raking up the past."

I try to keep calm, maintaining my volume, "So what if I'm raking up the past? That didn't matter in our living room 20 minutes ago when I was on the stand spilling my guts about what I've been through. That didn't matter when I talked with Washington or, hell, even when I told you about my freshman year of highschool."

"It matters because we made a promise."

"One that I broke literally less than 12 hours into making that promise. That promise isn't going to last another second. I bet there are things that you haven't told me."

"They're aren't because I told you everything, something you didn't do!"

I lost it. My temper was blown over. I was fuming, "God damnit, Alex! I'm sorry that I wanted to forget getting raped in high school! And I'm sorry that I want to know about your affair so I can get the closure I deserve from that, too!"

He rubs his forehead, regaining his composure, "You still want to know why, don't you?"

I start to cry, "I just want to understand. If you say yes… that you loved her… then that explains it and makes sense to me. The only thing is that if you say yes, it means that you fell out of love with me because you don't fall in love unless you don't have someone…"

"I don't love her. I never loved her. I have only ever loved you, Betsy." He tries to wipe away a tear, but I shove his hand away. I don't want him to console me, I just want him to tell me why.

"Then can you tell me why." I whisper through the tears that start to trail down my face.

"Blackmail. That's it. And I told you that."

"Then, let's bury the hatchet and let this go." I didn't want the credit for what he already suggested but it felt like I needed to be the one to say it.

He nods and pulls me into his body. I hug back, I'm not longer afraid to loose him like I was. He is safe, he is home. His scent brings me comfort and for once, I think I'll actually be okay.

"Agreed. I love you, Elizabeth Hamilton."

"I love you, too, Alexander Hamilton."

"I don't want to fight with you." He whispers into my hair.

"Then we won't fight. We never will again."

"Is that a promise?"

"The only promise I make is that I'll love you and only you forever and always. Can that be enough?" I meet his eyes. I fall in love a billion times over. He joins his forehead to mine. I feel our bodies sway together.

"That is the only promise I want you to make. It's the only promise I want us to make together. And that will be enough." He kisses me.

I am satisfied with this new beginning to life. One where I am not perfect and my husband accepts that. One where I rely more on myself than others. One where my only promise is to love Alexander unconditionally and his only promise is to love me unconditionally. One where I am happy, even though days are going to be tough. One where I am safe and at home with no worries. One where I still am friends with Thomas after I heal emotionally. One like the life I lived before just much better.

Alex always told me to take control and never back down from a challenge. I was always trying, but never being completely open to the ideas of what could happen if I just went all in without worries or doubts. It's time I finally listened to what Alex always told me while we were dating. I'm not going to sit on the sidelines and wait for life to pass by anymore. It's time to take my shot at life with a new outlook. And I am not throwing away my shot.