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Chapter 32

A/N: Thank you so much for your comments and follows! I really appreciate all of you! Please feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you like about this story or any other thoughts you may have. If you would like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is faceinbud.

Here is Chapter 32! Trigger warning for new case details and discussion of masturbation and orgasm.

I need to add both a disclaimer that I do not own SVU or its characters and a trigger warning for SVU-related topics. I will try to be more specific when necessary.

Olivia hated working weekends, especially when that entailed replacing Alex's warm body with the cold, clinical atmosphere of Mercy Hospital in the middle of the night. She met Elliot in the hospital, dark circles under her eyes and coffee in tow.

"Vic is Veeda Karzai. Perp is her husband, Badeed. Both twenty-seven-years-old," he told his partner. "She was admitted five hours ago with severe vaginal bleeding and facial and bodily injury. Veeda disclosed to one of the nurses, and she called us. Fin and Munch picked up the husband." Olivia nodded, stepping towards the hospital room. "Liv." Stabler stopped her, grabbing her arm gently. "It's bad."

"Figured as much, El," she said obviously, her eyes widening. "There's no such thing as a 'good rape.' Someone needs to take her statement. I don't imagine she was willing to talk to you." Female victims were very rarely comfortable disclosing to any of the male detectives, which was understandable, but it left Benson with the brunt of the agonizing work, especially in cases where religion required she were the one to conduct the interview. She welcomed the responsibility, but years of taking statements had made her defensive whenever one of the men warned her about a case. She was perfectly capable, and being in a relationship with a survivor made her more capable, not less.

He bobbed his head up and down slowly, conceding her point.

"Anything else I need to know before I go in there?" she asked him, handing over her coffee.

"Uh," he thought. "She's stable now. Rape kit is done. Her and Badeed are both doctors, doing their residency at Bellevue. That's where they met. Neighbors say they're friendly, involved in the community."

That was the story Fin and Munch were getting over and over again that morning while interviewing known associates of the couple. "Badeed would never hurt Veeda." "Veeda seemed perfectly happy." "It had to be someone else."

Benson was given this information by her colleagues after taking Veeda's statement, which was detailed and confident. Clearly, the woman was shaken up, and she shared how Badeed had never been physically abusive in the past, but he'd always had a temper and liked using sex to blow off steam.

It never failed to strike Olivia how different people's lives were than the narratives their loved ones had created about them. By all accounts, they seemed like a happy couple. But Olivia knew that the most vile and abusive of men were also the kindest and most seemingly normal of men. And abused women were often gentle and deferent in public. Her mind went to Alex's parents for a moment, and then the detective shook her head. Jean Cabot didn't deserve her sympathy in her book. If she hadn't been the love of her life's mother—maybe. But Mrs. Cabot abandoned the scared, confused, and excruciatingly lonely child, and she hadn't seen any evidence of her even trying to take a different route.

Badeed had been booked, and arraignment was set for Monday morning, the next day. There was a strange pleasure for Olivia in knowing that the monster would have to spend at least a full twenty-four hours in lockup.

The sun had risen and was more than halfway across the sky by the time the detective arrived home, and though her limbs were heavy and she had to drag herself up the stairs to her and Alex's apartment, the knowledge that she would soon see the woman she loved assisted her on her journey.

Intimate partner violence had always confounded the brunette. And now that she was in the most intimate relationship she'd ever been in—one where the love she felt was beyond words—these cases had become more than she could wrap her head around at times. The mere thought that someone, anyone—Olivia—would cause harm to their partner, or force—

"By the look on your face, I would guess this is a tough one." Alex met her at the door, having had heard her key in the lock, effectively interrupting her thoughts.

Liv's body instinctively relaxed for a moment, her eyes becoming concerned when she noticed Alex had matching dark circles under them. She tended not to sleep well when the detective wasn't in bed with her. Another reason Benson hated working weekends. But the younger woman's eyes were clear, and she carried herself with easy confidence, so the cop figured she'd be okay to hear the information the brunette planned on giving her. "As far as charges, it'll be fairly simple. Husband propositions wife. Wife says no. Husband attacks wife. Fluids on the bedsheets. Rape kit confirms the vic's story." She inhaled shakily, reaching out for support, her hand cupping the younger woman's cheek, a fierce protectiveness coming over her. "But the details, Al. Her injuries. He brutalized her. I can't even…."

"Hey, come here." The blonde wrapped her hand around the nape of her girlfriend's neck, pulling her close and rubbing her back, sighing into the embrace. She knew where Olivia was going, and Alex wanted to stop that train before it left the station. "It's okay. You're okay. I'm okay," she promised into her partner's shoulder, knowing DV really hit the woman she loved hard. "We're okay," she stressed. "It's hard to be strong for the survivors sometimes. I know these cases affect you. You're only human, sweetie."

Liv sniffled, pressing her lips against the attorney's neck, breathing deeply and absorbing her words. "I love you," she breathed.

"I know," Alex swore. "I love you too." After a few more seconds, the ADA took a step back, holding her partner by the shoulders for a moment, and then she led her towards the couch. "Anything more I need to know?"

"Probably not before arraignment tomorrow," the older woman said to Alex, sitting on the couch and sighing, relieved to be off her feet. "It looks like a clear-cut case of rape one and assault to me. You may even be able to make a deal."

Cabot paused for an extended moment, the pregnant pause lingering in the air as she chewed on her lower lip. "Liv, you know I don't like to plea down A felonies if I don't have to."

"I know," the SVU detective acknowledged, carefully clapping her hand over the other woman's knee, "but this vic is really traumatized, and I'd like not to put her through trial if possible. Really, I know it sounds unbelievable, but there is a mountain of evidence against this guy already. Cleo Conrad will know it's a sure loss and might give a little to avoid the maximum."

"We'll see," she relented eventually. If she could get this woman a reasonable amount of justice without putting her—or herself—through an unforgiving trial, maybe a plea deal was the right move. "I'm not going to worry about it yet if you think it's open and shut." Olivia nodded, lying her head against Alex's shoulder and humming. She really, really had missed the incredible woman she was lucky enough to call hers. "Do you want to talk about it though? To process?"

The lawyer felt a vague head shake against her skin. "No. No, I'm good."

Alex leaned over to kiss her head, letting her lips linger against her scalp. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I promise." All she wanted in that moment was to take off her Detective Benson hat and put on her Liv hat. She couldn't imagine how excruciating it had been for Alex to wear her Ms. Cabot hat in perpetuity, at the mandate of her drill sergeant. "I'm looking forward to leaving work at work for now and spending some time with you. How has your day been, love?"

"Honestly, it's been amazing." Liv raised her eyebrows, lifting her head to meet the other woman's blue pools, which she could have sworn were smiling impishly. What could she be referring to? Alex wasn't one to call many experiences "amazing."

"Amazing?" She questioned, not able to resist a grin herself. "What did I miss?"

Her eyes twinkled in mischief, her lips curving into a self-satisfied smile. "Guess."

Olivia chuckled, happy to submit to her girlfriend's game. "Hmm," she exaggerated, "the Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage?"

Cabot shook her head. Her day hadn't been that amazing. "They're not even hearing a gay marriage case." She paused. "And it's February."

"Clarence Thomas admitted to Anita Hill?"

"Olivia."

"Oh, I know," she feigned confidence, jokingly pretending that she absolutely knew what was going on now. "Bush is being impeached!"

The prosecutor shook her head fondly, sitting up on her knees and preparing to spill the beans. "You know, it's not only the big things that make me happy."

Liv tipped her head to the side, curiosity overwhelming her. "Okay. I'm clueless."

Alex's voice grew quiet, not wanting to ruin the significance of the moment with excessive volume. The reveal needed to be soft, intimate, and the blonde wanted to respect herself and her own boundaries as she shared this news. "I touched myself today, and it worked."

Tears immediately came to Olivia's eyes. She wasn't sure why, but the emotion that built between them in the seconds before and after the ADA's statement hit them both like a bus. Alex was clearly underexaggerating this accomplishment. "That sounds like a big thing to me," she whispered, following the other woman's lead, and reaching up to wipe tears from both sets of eyes, starting with Alex's.

The younger woman giggled quietly, still processing the power of her milestone. "I've been working up to it in the shower, but today, I just lied in the bed, took deep breaths, and focused on the sensations instead of the end goal. I...I had an orgasm, Olivia. It was a little one, I think, but it felt good. The only one I've ever had that felt good. It didn't hurt and it wasn't forced. I'm so proud of myself."

"You should be, sweetheart. That's incredible. I'm proud of you too." She pulled the other woman onto her lap and cradled her face. "God, I love you. You inspire me every day, you know that?"

Alex laughed her bell-chime laugh, resting her forehead against Olivia's as the brunette stroked her cheeks with both thumbs. "Ditto."

"Come here. Can I kiss you?"

Cabot gave an enthusiastic nod. "Please do."

Alex put everything into the kiss, completely melting into the other woman's embrace as her hands wandered her body, and the blonde marveled at the fact that she felt completely comfortable with the variety of touch. Olivia was her safe place, and Alex was Olivia's. The detective smiled as their lips met, the layers of disgust, sadness, and anger peeling off of her in layers as the ADA showed her in the most intimate way that she was nothing like Dr. Badeed Karzai.

When the younger of the two eventually pulled away, resting her forehead against Liv's shoulder as both women caught their breath, Benson hummed softly, one hand resting on a firm globe just below the small of the lawyer's back and the fingernails of the other scratching careful lines up and down her clothed spine. The moment was euphoric for the blonde, as was any moment she allowed herself to surrender to the sensation of Olivia surrounding her as they connected. They were a closed circuit, the electricity whirring within them and around them as they moved together. But now there was silence, quiet. The power was turned off, but both of them knew they could turn it back on at any moment. Still, Alex's eventful day had been tiring, and she suspected the other woman also needed to recharge. "Naptime?"

The offer reminded Liv of her exhaustion, and her answer came out in an almost whimper as she cradled the woman in her lap. "Please."

They walked hand-in-hand into the bedroom, Benson beginning to change into comfortable clothes.

"Oh," Alex suddenly remembered, "and when Dr. Whitley called to give me my results, I set up a tentative appointment with her in a couple weeks, depending on how the trial is going. I'll take it to Kimani too because I'm sure she has techniques for people who struggle with penetration, but I'm interested in the medical side of things, especially whether I meet the criteria for a diagnosis."

The detective had already known that the pathology had come back normal, but for some reason, it had slipped Alex's mind to tell her partner about the appointment she was setting up. She'd been busy with trial prep, and she didn't have to go to Dr. Whitley's office for more than two weeks, so it wasn't up there on her priority list of things to tell Liv.

What had happened that day had been a priority.

Alex really wanted to work towards having as normal of a sex life as possible. She didn't see herself ever being into bondage or excessive dominance and submission, but she didn't need those things. What she needed was a range of activities to do with Olivia that made her feel good, made them feel close. And if there remained some places she didn't feel comfortable going, she was willing to accept that. But she was going to do everything she could to widen the range for the both of them.

"Oh, that's great, sweetie." Olivia pecked her lips as they got situated in the bed. "I'm happy to be with you on this journey, and I'm so proud of the progress you're making. You deserve this, you know?"

The ADA smiled, wrapping her arms around the woman she loved and who loved her. "I do."

The next several days went by in a blur—the Karzai arraignment couldn't have gone better, as Alex had successfully argued for remand for the first time in a while. Because he was denied bail, the 180.80 rule was in effect, so the Assistant District Attorney prepared for and secured an indictment in little more than seventy-two hours, with almost two full days to spare. Karzai would stay in custody and Veeda Karzai would be safe—hopefully for a very, very long time. Cabot had started talks with defense attorney Cleo Conrad to make a deal, but the blonde didn't want to give much as far as prison time. The maximum for rape one was twenty-five years, and with the added charge of first-degree assault—Veeda had also been beaten to a pulp—he was potentially looking at fifty years.

The first deal Alex offered—twenty years for each offense, served consecutively—was turned down vehemently. So, the attorney tried once more, making it clear that this was her final offer—"He gets the maximum for each charge, served concurrently. He does a total of twenty-five years, and he registers upon his release, but he has to allocute in open court," she had said to Conrad, who seemed interested in the deal, but hadn't gotten Karzai to agree to it yet.

There were less than twenty-four hours before Alex had to open her case in the D'Agostino trial, and she was typing away in her office when a voice projected from her phone speaker. "Ms. Cabot, Olivia Benson is here to see you."

"Thanks, Danielle. Send her in."

The brunette opened the door, carrying a brown paper back. Alex's stomach growled. She'd forgotten how hungry she was. "Hey, baby."

Liv smiled, sitting in the chair across from the attorney's desk. "Hey."

"This is a nice surprise," Cabot said to her, looking up from her computer and taking off her glasses, rubbing at her tired eyes.

"Yeah, well, I had some extra time," the older woman explained, rummaging through her bag, "and I thought I'd come bring you lunch."

The prosecutor's heart swelled. Olivia always knew what she needed. Alex tended to overwork herself in the days before a trial began, and there's no way she would have chosen to take a lunch break—with or without her partner. She knew she didn't really have the time, but it was important that she take care of herself, especially since this trial wouldn't be easy. So she made a compromise. "Thank you, sweetie. Do you mind if it's a working lunch? I have to finish my opening."

"No worries, love." She pulled out a few takeout boxes, placing the bag on the floor. "I just thought you might need the company."

"Oh, I definitely do," she confirmed Liv's suspicions. "I've been holed up in my office since I got here this morning."

The cop handed her girlfriend a box containing a sandwich and a to-go cup of iced tea and then took a bite of her own food. "Do you feel like you have the evidence you need?"

"I think so. I just wish I could put you on the stand as an outcry witness, but Kressler would cross you about your relationship with me, and the last thing I need is to have your credibility destroyed." Alex bit her sandwich, putting her glasses back on and returning her attention to the document she was working on.

"You think he knows."

"He'll find out," the younger woman asserted. "I know I've had you testify for Tara and against Holmes, but with the way this case is going, I wouldn't put a motion to dismiss past him due to the perceived conflict of interest, especially after the Barnett fiasco."

Benson searched for a way to comfort the woman she loved, who was understandably feeling the pressure as the clock ticked down. "I think George's expert testimony will serve the same purpose as mine would."

The prosecutor finished her sentence, sighing, before eating some more and taking a long sip of her drink. "I hope so."

"Do you think you have a winning case?"

"I don't know." Alex hadn't stopped questioning the decisions she was making regarding D'Agostino and the trial she'd chosen not to avoid. "I'm convinced of D'Agostino's guilt. But I'm just one person. And I by nature believe survivors. I'm just afraid I'm going to put these boys through this for nothing."

"I don't think they'll feel that way," Olivia tried to assure her, reaching out to touch her partner for the first time since entering her office. "They want to testify."

The blonde shook her head at herself, uncertainty rioting through her as she accepted the comforting hand on top of hers and reveled in the strength her girlfriend's presence always gave her. Still, she couldn't resist asking the question she'd been contending with for months. "Am I going to regret taking this to trial?"

"Maybe." Olivia shrugged, knowing Alex wouldn't buy false confidence in her heightened state of anxiety. "But I know you will if you don't."

"Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say."

A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, I love comments/reviews, so please leave them! Next chapter is trial time!