A/N: Hello everyone and welcome back to "Why Do I Put my Stories on Random, Stupid Hiatuses: Quarantine Edition." Hope everyone's doing well and staying healthy! Now, I don't really know why I just take such long breaks with stories, then I suddenly publish two chapters (one of each story) in a matter of a week. Will I ever have a posting schedule? Most likely not. Anyway, enough babbling, enjoy the chapter.
"Get up." commanded the rugged Dipper. "Try again."
Our Dipper struggled to get up. "I don't understand what the point is here if you're just going to keep knocking me down."
The older, rugged Dipper helped our Dipper up. "I'm not trying to knock you down. Bill's not going to give you any mercy, so don't get used to it."
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks." said our Dipper, rubbing his head. "When are we going to start working with weapons?"
The rugged Dipper rolled his eyes. "You know I'm supposed to train you in two separate categories, right? Toughness as well as weapons. Unfortunately for you, I decided that toughness is going first. Now, enough chatter. Try again. Knock me down."
Our Dipper straightened his white and blue pine tree hat. He tightened his grip on the training staff, preparing yet again for the onslaught.
Our Dipper charged at the rugged Dipper, who also had the training staff. He aggressively attacked the rugged Dipper with long, brushing swings, trying to simply overpower his adversary.
"Don't just swing blindly! Use strategy!" instructed the rugged Dipper, blocking each attack with ease. He saw an opening in our Dipper's attack pattern. A weakness. With a swift motion, the older Dipper swung the staff at our Dipper's legs, causing him to trip.
The younger Dipper fell down to the ground, and in the process he was disarmed of his staff. Yet again, the rugged Dipper held the end of the training staff inches from his forehead.
"Get up." repeated the rugged Dipper, unimpressed that his student couldn't learn his strategies. "I can't help but acknowledge that you haven't figured out my fighting strategy yet."
"You have no strategy! All you do is defend!" complained our Dipper, getting up yet again.
"That's the point, kid." replied the rugged Dipper. "That's the point of this entire lesson. If you're going to take down that creep, it would be stupid for you to open yourself up with aggressive attacks. I spent this entire session studying you, and this is your optimal strategy. Defend yourself from attacks until you see your opponent's weakness in strategy. Then, and only then, do you strike."
"And how exactly do you find the weakness in the strategy then?" asked our Dipper.
"Simple. Last long enough to see a strategy build up. Bill will be more predictable than you think." said the older Dipper.
"How do you know that?"
"I studied every battle mark that's on your body. Time Baby told me everything about your last battle with Bill: his arsenal, strength, and strategy. By observing that as well as determining how old your battle scars are, I understood Bill's strategy, just like that." said the rugged Dipper, snapping his fingers to indicate how instinctive this came to him. "When you've been forced to do combat training for survival, you see and learn a thing or two."
"I see." said our Dipper, panting a little bit. He had been training with the older Dipper for a while now, and was impressed by his endurance and longevity.
"Rest for now. Consider what I taught you, and prepare for your next training session with pajama boy. I will talk to… both of them... about customization of lessons for you. Until then, remember, stay sharp. Bill may be unorthodox, but if you study enough, he's not unpredictable. I can promise that." asserted the rugged Dipper.
Our Dipper couldn't help but notice the thin lines of red showing up on his older counterpart's arms.
"I'm sorry, but I can't help but notice -"
The older Dipper held up his hand to shush our Dipper. "That was my first lesson on understanding strategy. That's all you need to know, for now."
The older Dipper left to consult with the others on customizing his Bill extermination/survival program. What happened to him? Dipper considered for a few seconds on what he had said. Bill may be unorthodox, but if you study enough, he's not unpredictable. That reminded him of Bill's warning from earlier: Beware the unknown.
He acknowledged his teacher's important note and proceeded to practice on his own, working on defensive stances and working on stabilizing his balance in said defensive stances.
. . . .
Dipper stood in front of his blue-suited counterpart, who sat down on the ground, sitting cross-legged, almost as if he was meditating.
"Uh, hello? Aren't you supposed to start training me by now?" asked our Dipper, but Super Dipper remained sitting, unfazed at all by what he said. After a few moments, the blue-clad Dipper finally opened his eyes and spoke.
"Grab your staff, and have a seat." said Super Dipper. "There's something I would like to talk to you about before we start our session."
Dipper followed his orders, returned, and sat down across from him. Super Dipper closed his eyes yet again in meditation.
"I can hear your heartbeat and blood pressure rising. Is something up?" asked Super Dipper sincerely.
"How did you - ?"
The blue-suited Dipper only pointed to his shield on the center of his chest.
"Point taken."
"What is wrong?" repeated Super Dipper.
Our Dipper sighed. "Look around. Look at the others, and yourself. Then look at me. Why is this my fight?"
Super Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Because you're in the staple dimension? Didn't you pay attention to what Time Baby said?"
"I know all that. I meant why is it me fighting this fight when I am clearly the weakest of all the staple me's? It just doesn't make sense."
"Dipper. Dipper. You have to know by now that the universe really doesn't make much sense. I mean look at me!" said the Super Dipper. "I'm sitting on the ground in an empty void of some form of a dimension wearing blue spandex while literally talking to myself."
"How is this supposed to help?"
"The universe doesn't really make sense," repeated Super Dipper, "but more importantly, your opponent doesn't make much sense. I'm here to try and recreate the same person you were fighting with before you were brought here. If what that older Dipper said is true, you should be more than prepared and ready to anticipate each and every move that Bill throws at you."
"How are you going to do that?"
"Well, I have a few ideas." said Super Dipper. "Get up. We're ready to begin."
Dipper obliged. "What are we doing - whoa!"
Dipper saw his counterpart's fist flying for his face at a superhuman speed. He barely moved out of the way in time. His eyes darted around, desperately trying to keep track of Super Dipper's fists while remaining balanced and maintaining a defensive position.
Suddenly, Dipper felt a slight burning sensation in his left shoulder. "Gah!" Dipper fell down, and the burning sensation stopped.
"That's it?" asked Super Dipper, his eyes dimming back from red to the normal brown.
"What the hell was that for?" flustered Dipper, clutching his shoulder.
"Relax, it's just a little burn. A mild sunburn's ten times worse." replied Super Dipper. "Now, let's try again, and this time, try to catch up to my speed and try anticipating the unanticipated, ok?"
Dipper only grunted and got back to his feet, tightening his grip on his training staff out of some pent up rage.
After a few more tries, the scenes were almost carbon copies of what happened before. Dipper smashed the training staff into the ground out of frustration, causing a loud, metallic echo through the empty void. He got up, panting again, showing that he was tired from the series of repetitions.
Super Dipper pondered for a bit.
"Maybe we should try something new," he said.
He flew to about a hundred feet away, putting a great amount of distance between him and Dipper. His eyes started glowing red again, as small red energy blasts flew from his eyes, dancing in the air, heading towards our Dipper.
"This is a very simple exercise. Come here and knock me down. Simple enough." said Super Dipper. He started repeating the process, firing small lasers from his eyes in different locations, indicating a strategy needed to maneuver past those obstacles.
Just like that, something in Dipper clicked. His mental training from Time Baby kicked in, and he knew exactly what to do. He moved the training staff around, deflecting those flying laser bolts, while advancing as quick as he could. However, he miscalculated only one, and the laser grazed the side of his legs.
"Uhn!" grunted Dipper as he faltered from the blow. He recovered as quickly as he could, and advanced again.
He continued deflecting the lasers, which were increasing in intensity the closer Dipper got to his counterpart. His arms started tiring from carrying the mildly heavy staff, but he kept pushing on.
Then, he saw it. He hadn't noticed it before, but once he noticed it it was impossible to ignore. It was what the rugged Dipper was telling him about.
The hole in the strategy. The chink in the armor. When Super Dipper resets his attack, his legs are wide open, and vulnerable.
He just needed to last long enough to take advantage of it, and he needs to time everything right.
Dipper kept on advancing, now blocking each laser with ease. It wasn't too long until he was less than ten feet away from Super Dipper.
In one motion, Dipper dove headfirst and swung the staff at Super Dipper's legs. It clearly connected, sending Super Dipper to the ground with a loud thud. Dipper stood over his counterpart and held the staff inches from Super Dipper's neck.
"Good job." complimented Super Dipper, "Now, let's up the difficulty, shall we?"
Suddenly, he grabbed Dipper's staff and broke it in half over his knee, creating two smaller staffs.
"What the hell was that for?" asked Dipper, confused.
"Expect the unexpected." repeated Super Dipper as he handed Dipper one half of the staff as he kept the other half for itself. "Now, let's try some close encounters, shall we?"
Super Dipper started some attacks by swinging the half of the staff in his hands, and Dipper defended. For many times, the roles switched, like a game of chess with stakes. Each Dipper countered the other's attacks, leading to a standstill. The two Dippers stopped dueling for a moment.
"I see you're a fast learner." said Super Dipper, out of breath.
"That's why I rule in determination." replied our Dipper, trying to catch his breath as well.
"I'll hand it to you. Not even I'm that fast in that area." pointed out Super Dipper. "Ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be." said Dipper before the two kept clashing.
. . . .
"I hope you're happy with yourself. I literally have a thousand better things to do right now, and all but one of them include murder." sighed the Dipper with baby blue eyes. He watched as his hands danced with blue flames as if he was only doing that out of boredom. "The one would be eating a sandwich right now."
"Then why don't we get this over with then?" asked our Dipper. He wanted to get this session over with as soon as possible as well.
Along with the similar… aesthetic... to Gideon, as well as the all-familiar blue flames flickering on his hands, Dipper Gleeful was a really unsettling person. And he just spent an entire session "sword-fighting" a clone of himself in blue tights.
The two stood there, silent for another moment.
"Are you going to teach me anything, or are you just going to stand there?" asked our Dipper, patience wearing out in his voice.
"Alright, smartass." sneered Gleeful. "If you're going to act all high and mighty, then we can get started right away."
Dipper Gleeful started chuckling maniacally as his hands spawned blue flames.
Our Dipper didn't know exactly how to respond to something like that.
. . . .
"Nng!" grunted our Dipper, sweat dripping off of his face.
He never knew that alchemy was such a taxing practice.
"Moron! You're losing it!" hissed Dipper Gleeful, walking around the kneeling Dipper, his eyes fixed on the green mist that was starting to dissolve away. "Finish the incantation or you'll lose it!"
"Hoc cum historia desinit ego erit liberum." chanted Dipper, trying desperately to not lose the fading incantation.
Have fun with this translation if you'd like. translator/Latin-English
"Hoc cum historia desinit ego erit liberum." he chanted again, stronger this time, but it was too late. All of the green mist had faded away.
"Idiot!" moaned Dipper Gleeful. "You lost it! Why didn't you chant fricabis meam balls?"
"You never told me that..." said Dipper plainly.
"I will not deal with your insolence." replied Gleeful. He recited a deep incantation, his eyes glowing blue.
Our Dipper felt his entire body convulse in pain. He lost all control of his body, and he started writhing on the ground.
"What… what did you do to me?" asked Dipper.
"Easy." replied Gleeful, ice in his voice. He sat down on top of Dipper's still writhing body and started filing his nails. "I actually got an incantation right. It's called the Dolor Augendae, or in your simpleton words, the pain spell. It activates every single pain receptor in your body, and amplifies it twofold."
"Aaaagh!" cried our Dipper, clearly in pain. "And why exactly did you do this? Another one of your twisted lessons?"
"No, this alchemy is much too advanced for you to even begin to comprehend." said Gleeful. He said some more incantations and just like that, all of Dipper's pain evaporated as if it was pulled out of his body. "I was simply bored, and you were badmouthing me."
"Enough of your bullshit." snapped Dipper. "Are you going to help me or not?"
"What I don't understand is why you're not joining with this BIll character. Seems incredibly stupid on your part, and especially for you."
"He almost killed both of my uncles and my sister."
"So?"
"So what? Are you even a human?"
"I'm much more than a human now." replied Gleeful. "My sister is only a necessary annoyance."
"I don't understand you." was all our Dipper could say.
"You don't need to, insect." scoffed Gleeful. "You'll be out of my life once you go back, and I won't have to be bothered by your idiocy again."
"Yeah? What happens if I fail, and Bill takes over everything? What are you going to do then?"
"I'll align with him, you idiot. If you're not going to be his apprentice, I will."
"Yeah, right. He'll kill you before that even happens."
"Not if I kill him first."
"You know that won't have to be your trouble if you actually take the time to train me, especially considering that if I die, you die too."
Dipper Gleeful paused and thought for a few moments. He turned around to face our Dipper.
"I have reconsidered." started Gleeful. "I will only help you as long as you promise not to die, and you listen to exactly what I instruct. One fuck-up and you could accidentally end up vaporizing yourself, or more importantly, me."
"Noted."
"I will adjust now. Leave before I change my mind." said Gleeful. He turned around and walked away, his baby blue coat swishing dramatically.
Dipper just stood there. Gleeful easily scared him the most out of the other staple Dippers, but he felt connected to him the most out of all of them. Interesting. Interesting indeed.
Dipper headed over to Time Baby to finish up the day with a recap of mental training.
. . . .
Mabel felt a sharp pain in her brain, waking her up instantly.
"Easy, easy." said Ford. "You ok?"
"Dipper." said Mabel.
"What about him?" asked Stan sincerely.
"I thought I saw him." started Mabel.
"It was just a dream." replied Ford.
"It felt so lifelike, as if I had been looking through his eyes."
"What did you see?" pried Ford.
"All I saw were… other Dippers, if that makes sense." answered Mabel. "One older, two others, different, but they were Dipper too. What does it mean?"
Ford's eyes widened. "The staple dimensions. Of course."
"Staple dimensions?" muttered Stan. "What now?"
"It's the last resort." said Ford. "When we beat Bill during the Great War, we created a series of contingency plans in case Bill ever comes back to power. If I remember correctly, we placed thirty-six contingency plans. Each one was made in case the former one fails."
"And let me guess." said Mabel. "That would mean that we're on number thirty-six?"
"Exactly." said Ford, deep sorrow in his voice. "That means that Dimension 52, plan number thirty-five, failed. The Oracle failed."
"I'm really sorry, Sixer." comforted Stan.
"It's alright. We have a job to do." said Ford. "Right as we speak, they're training Dipper for the fight of his life. If we fail here, it's all over. Everyone will die. We can't let that happen."
"What can we do?" asked Mabel.
"For now? All we can do is wait until Dipper returns. Then we'll take our last stand." replied Ford. Stan and Mabel could see him clutch his fist. "For all we lost, and for all we might lose."
Ford looked up to the sky, seeing something that Stan, Mabel, no one in the universe could see.
"For you, Oracle."
A/N: End of the chapter. Once again, I send apologies for delays. With the whole world being cancelled, I should be able to post chapters more frequently now. There's always a silver lining to everything, and lucky for you, that means the silver lining are these chapters.
All those Latin translations I did are now fun little Easter Eggs that you guys can figure out while reading. That gives you guys an idea of how much effort I put into every chapter. As always, rate and review, and I'll keep posting.