Authors note: Oh hey there! Bet you thought you saw the last of me? I know it's bee a few months since I last updated, but school got dumb crazy. However, Here's the very last chapter, I hope you enjoy it! This is the Epilogue chapter! Now get on to reading, will you?
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi.
Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sunshine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that?
A Year And A Half
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
-Winston Churchill
Epilogue
5 years later...
The birds outside Clare's bedroom window chirp happily in the early spring morning air, sitting pleasantly on the branches of the tree just outside the window. It was the birds that awoke Clare that morning as they usually do each morning but she didn't mind it. They were so happy out there chirping their happy song that she couldn't ever be angry at such a blessing. That truly was Clare's new way of thinking in recent years. Coming so close to death Clare realized while she was away at school that she would look at things as blessings rather than curses because life could have been taken away from her so easily, she has learned to appreciate every little thing.
She stretches in bed for a few moments before she swings her legs over the side of her bed and sits there to stretch for a few more moments after that. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining and for the first time in a while Clare wasn't struck with her typical nausea she would feel upon waking up at that time. Clare made her way out of bed and went to the washroom to get ready for her busy day ahead of her.
Sometimes when she makes all these plans she forgets that she doesn't have as much energy as she did a few months ago, she was Ambitious with how much she took on, always agreeing to one too many coffee meetings or dinners out with friends when all she wanted most of the time was to snuggle up at home with a good book and cup of hot tea or hot chocolate. But today was different, today her home would be filled with friends and family and she wouldn't be able to rest until much, much later but she didn't mind. Today was special for many reasons.
After showering Clare makes her way to her closet and grabs herself out a nice light blue dress that was just body hugging enough that it wouldn't be too clingy. She blow dries her hair, giving herself a nice light head full of curls for the day, before applying a small amount of makeup just enough to cover her few blemishes oh her cheeks.
When she leaves the bathroom, the smell of pancakes could be smelled all throughout the room. Pancakes were her biggest craving for herself currently, she could never have enough of them and since there was so many ways to eat them she wasn't running out of different options to try with them yet so they were still excellent and exciting to her each morning.
She hurried from the bedroom, down the stairs following her nose to kitchen where her handsome husband stood back towards her, not noticing Clare walking in. She takes this opportunity to get behind him and snake her arms around his waist, giving him a back hug, also succeeding on scaring him as she felt him jump slightly.
"Woah, hey." He says.
"Woah, hey, right back at you." She smiles against his back before he turned around from the stove and hugs her properly.
Clare learned up on her tiptoes slightly and looks up at him. Her beautiful, handsome husband Eli Goldsworthy.
"Good morning." Eli grins at her and placing a chaste kiss on her lips, " and good morning to you to." Eli moves slightly so he can place his hands on Clare's growing stomach.
"Morning Daddy." Clare says in a sing-song voice. "Mommy says watch the stove and feed me already!" She continues.
Eli shakes his head and give her butt a small tap as he gives her a small laugh, " alright, go sit down."
Clare obeys And takes her typical seat at the table as she feels her stomach growling. A few moments later Eli sets down a plate of hot pancakes with syrup in front of her.
"Thank you, Honey."
Eli gives her a smile and sits down beside her with his own plate of food. He gives her another smile and Clare can't help but feel a tug on her heartstrings.
It's been years since she had left him heartbroken on the front yard of his home clinging to his mother like his whole world was being ripped from him. Clare doesn't regret leaving, in the years she spent away from Toronto she was able to find the girl that had been missing for so many years. She found the Clare Edwards that smiled just because, the Clare Edwards that sang a song just because the silence around her was too much. She would never be her old self one hundred percent again after everything that had happened but she was a version of herself that has learned to deal with her trauma and grow from it instead of getting lost in it.
She didn't regret leaving, but what she regrets was the hurt that she caused Eli. No matter how many times he assures her that he understood, that he wasn't upset at her for it, she knew that there must have been a part of him deep inside himself that resented her because of it. She wasn't stupid, she knew it to be true because when she first came back to Toronto after a few years of being away Eli hadn't visited with her, only a small nod of his head before running out of the house to attend whatever business he had to deal with that day.
It was only after graduation and her finally moving back to Canada that the two had started talking again. It was an awkward mess of feelings and emotions that the two didn't know how to deal with. Eli at that time had a different girlfriend and Clare had just gotten out of her short term relationship with a boy she had met back in school. Clare and Eli had never really talked in the time she went to school, they didn't know what each other were up to and they didn't ask bullfrog or Cece to figure it out. The two hurt too much apart from each other that they filled that void with other people, and it was apparent because only a few hours into Clare and Eli talking again were they back in bed with each other just as quickly as they started talking to each other again.
They learned from that day that even though they were seeing other people, doing different things with their lives, they had to be a part of each other's lives again. They were too in love to quit after so many years.
That didn't stop Clare from still feeling incredibly guilty for her leaving, for breaking his heart. They were married now, had a baby on the way but Clare still needed reassurance that things were okay and that he didn't have any resentment towards her. She had to get away for herself and Eli understood that. They needed time apart to grow and it's what they did, if they hadn't they probably wouldn't be married and starting a family now.
"People are coming around 12?"Eli questions and Clare let's out a small amused laugh.
"Yes." She says and stuffs some pancake in her mouth. "You've asked me this question like a million times in the last two days... are you nervous?" She questions a small teasing tone laced in her voice.
"Not nervous." Eli tells her, "just anxious to finally know if we're having a mini Eli or mini Clare."
" I think we're having a boy" Clare yells him her hunch. It's something that she's believed since she found out she was pregnant a few months ago. " I just feel it."
Eli smiles gently at her words, " Are you sure you'll be able to handle two Goldsworthy boys at once?" His gentle smile turning into a toothy one at his words.
"If I can handle you and your dad in one room I think I can handle one more. "
"Auntie Clare!" Little Maggie called out as soon as she saw Clare, running away from her mother Bianca.
"Little Mags!" Clare says with just as much excitement in her tone.
Maggie was Bianca's little girl, she was three years old now and clare loved her to pieces. Clare remembers when Bianca had called her in tears during Clare's second year of college. Maggie was in no way planned, she was a result of a drunk night out that Bianca had. Clare was thankful everything worked out the way it had for Bianca. The baby's father wanted to be apart of her life, and soon Bianca and her husband were in love and married just a few months later before Maggie was born.
Clare had flown in for the wedding, it was a beautiful night and she had a lot of fun except for the fact that she had to pretend that seeing Eli with his girlfriend he had at the time didn't bother her. It was Bianca's night and Clare wouldn't ruin that with her emotions and deep stomach ache that she felt anytime she had saw them dancing or sharing kisses. It was in the past now and Clare didn't have to worry about those things, but every now and then her damaged brain would bring her back.
Clare kneeled down so she was on Maggie's level and hugged the happy toddler. "How are you today, miss Mags?"
"Good!" She says a little bounce in her small steps, "Can I go have snacks?"
"Of course you can, go on." Clare says as a happy little Maggie runs off and Bianca finally makes her way over.
"How's my favourite preggo mama today?" Bianca asks giving Clare a side hug, Clare's stomach too big to give proper hugs.
"I'm good. Nervous." Clare replies as she watches Eli continue to greet guests that arrived.
"Today's going to be a good day." Bianca tries to reassure her friend, "You'll finally be able to paint the nursery like you and Eli have been dying to do."
Clare grins, "You're right."
"Clare! Bianca!"
Both girls heads turn and a smile immediately grows on both of their faces. "Imogen!" They say in elusion.
"Guess what!" She says basically jumping on the pair in a hug before holding her hand up, revealing the ring on her finger.
"Finally." Clare says, "He's only been asking us about this for the last couple months."
"Months?!" Imogen gasps, "You two have been keeping this from me for months?!"
Clare laughs as Bianca flips some hair from her shoulder, "We weren't going to ruin your engagement, Ims."
"I don't know how, Mo was able to keep this from me. The big dork can barely tell a white lie." Imogen pouts.
"Oh, come on." Bianca crosses her arms, "Give the man a break, he asked you to marry him for goodness sake."
Imogen held her hands up as if to surrender before her eyes landed on Clare growing stomach, her hands coming down to give it a small rub, "Little baby!"
Clare smiles, "What do you guys think I'm having? Cece is taking a tally." Clare asks finally.
"Boy, for sure." Bianca says quickly like she is certain. "I want our babies married one day."
"Well I think it's a girl." Imogen says sticking out her tongue before heading off to tell Cece her guess.
"Okay, everyone! Quite down!" Eli's voice raises above the noise of the excited party.
It was weird to Clare In a way that this was her life now. A husband and a baby on the way, being surrounded by friends that are good and a family that loves her and treats her well. It was a long ride to get to where she is, but she is thankful for it as she joins Eli up in front of everyone.
"Before we get this show on the road," Eli pauses briefly as he makes a slight face of disappointment at his words, " Clare and I just want to thank everyone for coming to find out without if we're going to be having a son or daughter."
Eli pulls Clare closer to him, his arm rests gently on her waist and goes on to say more but is interrupted before he can.
"Get on with it, old man. We're dying to know!" Shouts Imogen.
Clare laughs, "We can thank them later, let's see what we're having!"
Imogen claps and squeals excitedly.
Eli goes over to where the balloons are places and grabs them. They're helium filled with coloured confetti inside, either pink or blue. Eli returns back over to Clare's side and hands her her own ballon. Eli digs in his pocket and hands Clare a small sharp needle.
"Ready?" He asks.
Clare nods and everyone else gives them a big yes.
"On the count of three." He continued
"1..."
"2..."
"3!"
And just like that Pink confetti is raining down on them. Clare is crying tears of happiness and Eli is pulling her back into his arms as their family and friends freak out happily around them.
It's late now, the party has concluded and after getting washed up and tucked into bed Eli and Clare rest beside each other, Clare gently lying in Eli's chest.
"I can't believe we're having a daughter." Clare as after a short moment of silence. Her mind swirling with some many thoughts.
" I can't either." Eli kisses the top of her forehead. "So much for that boy feeling." He teases.
Clare gives him a tiny flick to the arm, but she's giggling. Another minute or two go by as the pair simply lie there together taking in their day. Then suddenly, Clare is struck by a thought that she can't keep to herself.
"Hope." Clare says, quietly at first but then once more a bit louder so he can hear her.
"Hope?" Eli repeats.
"This life..." Clare starts, "our life we have now, I've only ever dreamed of it and hoped that one day it would happen. I never thought that I actually would."
Eli shifts in the bed so that they are now facing each other face to face.
"She's Hope. She's our Hope. Hope Goldsworthy." Eli says, finally taking a clue at what Clare was getting at.
Clare nods, "Hope Goldsworthy."
"I like it." Eli says.
A grin appears on Clare's face as she leans in and kisses him. And they kiss for a long time. Two people that have been through so much together as one. Completely and entirely together at last.
End of A Year And A Half.
Whatcha think? Review and lemme know!
Thanks so much for reading!
I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me
XoXo