Disclaimer: This storyline comes from a soap opera. Soap opera = crackfic-ish territory. Death threats against characters are okay. Death threats against me are not. We are adults, why do I even have to explain this? Also, I don't own any of the music used in this story or the characters.

Thank you. I was expecting horrible reviews and cringed every time a GR popped up but y'all were all very respectful. I appreciate that more than you know.

Thank you to Team Harpy.

**AB**

Think fast, Alice. Oh shit. I have two options; let her stay there and have the surprise of her life and watch the fallout. Or get rid of her and save the heartache for another day? What Would Jesus Do? Yeah, let's not bring him into this. Jasper is gonna... that's it!

I rush back to him and pull him up from his seat.

"I need you to go with Bella back to Mac's."

"But…"

"I'll explain later but please." I plead.

"If you didn't want me here with all your rich friends, you could've realized that before I went out and bought a new outfit." He wrenches away from me.

"Jasper, that's not it at all. Bella…"

"Don't worry about it, darlin'. I understand."

He walks out and I resist the urge to call out to him. I see him go up to Bella who looks confused but after a small conversation, she follows him outside. The door slams behind them.

I sigh and go back to the study where everyone is gathered for this most sacred event.

I stand next to Riley.

"Where did your friend go?" He asks.

"I don't seem to have many of those right now," I say, sadly.

I'm gonna kill Edward...

***E***

"You didn't have a prenup drawn up? Are you crazy? I know you're being blackmailed but use your head, Son."

I look over at my father. "Do you really think she'd sign it if I did?"

My mother sits gingerly in one of the chairs. I think she's upset but it's hard to tell from all the botox.

"So what you're saying is she could walk away with all our hard-earned money?" Yeah, she's upset.

"You married into that money, Mother."

"Trust me, I earned that money." She looks at my father and scowls. At least she tries to. Must be an off week for them. "I really don't want to be nice to that woman."

"You think I want to be?" I ask incredulously.

"What was my brother thinking?" My father shakes his head.

"With his dick obviously." My mother retorts.

Grandfather sticks his head in the door. "Can we get on with it?"

I straighten my tie and walk towards him. "You should be patient. After all, I could walk out this door, and then where would you be?"

"I don't take kindly to being threatened."

"Well, I don't take kindly to being used as bait for blackmail, but here we are anyway."

"You're being paid handsomely for your time. You practically blackmailed us. Now put a smile on that handsome face and go get married."

I follow him into the study and walk towards the back. It's decorated with tiny lights and greenery. The furniture has been moved out to make room for people to stand. There's not many. I recognize everyone so Angela's family must have not been invited. If she has a family. My entire family is here, the family lawyers- one of whom is marrying us. I halt a little when I see Alice and a genuine smile comes to my face for the first time today.

I step to my mark and she falls in beside me.

"I thought you couldn't do this."

"I've been told I should be more supportive."

"Thank you," I whisper.

She doesn't say anything but her attention is towards the door and there she is. My bride. Lacking in every way possible. She's a beautiful woman, there's no doubt about it. But as she's walking towards me dressed in a cream lace tea-length dress all I can see is all she's all wrong.

She's full of triumphant smiles and smugness. She thinks she's won. I'll let her for now and give in to her demands, save any sexual advances.

I'm a bigamist, yes. An adulterer, no.

She comes to a stop next to me, oblivious to my family's less than cordial looks. I dutifully reach for her hand and force a smile. We look towards the officiant waiting for him to begin.

"We are gathered in the presence of these witnesses for the purpose of uniting these two people, Edward Carlisle Cullen the Third and Angela Elaina Weber. The contract of marriage is most solemn and is not to be entered into lightly but thoughtfully and seriously with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities. Therefore, if anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."

I see Grandfather glare at anyone who might 'speak now'.

"Edward, do you take Angela to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." I choke out.

"Angela, do you take Edward to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And do you both promise to love and comfort each other, to honor each other…"

I tune out the officiant and notice several people rolling their eyes discreetly. Not everyone in this room knows what is going on.

Alice jostles me and I see Angela narrow her eyes.

"The ring?" Jared prompts.

I reach into my pocket for it.

"With this ring, I thee wed," I mutter.

I slide the realistic-looking four 'carat' diamond on her hand as she beams again.

She slides my platinum ring on my hand. I know it's platinum because my credit card bought it. It cost more than her ring, not that she's gonna know that.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

"By the authority vested in me, by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

She moves forward and gives me no choice but to kiss her, making this ceremony 'official'. There is a smattering of applause.

I break away as soon as possible and resist the urge to wipe my mouth off.

"Mr. Cullen."

"Mrs. Cullen," I say back to her, playing my part.

We move swiftly into the reception where there is food, cake, and thank God, drinks. We do the whole posing for pictures, cake exchanging, you name it. Angela is giggly and happy throughout while I just want to take a shower to get her strong perfume off of me.

Alice gets ready to leave in the middle of it, telling me she can't take it anymore. I about have a heart attack when she tells me that Bella had shown up. She got her to leave but now she has to go meet her.

"Have a happy honeymoon, Edward."

"You're not staying, Alice?" Angela sidles up to me, wrapping her hand around my arm, staking her claim.

"No, I've had about all I can take of this." Alice stalks out.

"She really should be kinder now that I'm your wife."

"Yeah, that won't happen."

"Where are we going on our honeymoon?"

"Well, since you insist on going somewhere for whatever reason, Canada. There's a resort in British Columbia. I know it's probably not what you want but I do have to be back at work on Monday."

"No, it's fine. Thank you for making an effort today."

"It's not like I have much choice."

"Even so. I'm going to go freshen up. I'll be back."

I sigh then walk over to where my parents are talking to Liam and his wife. I didn't even know they were coming.

"So, is this a shotgun wedding? It seems so sudden." I hear the wife ask my parents.

"That's not far from the truth." My mother slurs. She must have taken advantage of the open bar.

"Mother," I warn. Liam's wife blushes.

"I didn't know you were coming, Liam." I reach out to shake his hand.

"Angela invited us. I hope that's okay, sir."

"Of course, it is."

"This is my wife, Megan."

"Nice to meet you, Megan."

"I hope I didn't offend you. I'm inquisitive. Sorry."

"It's all good. Not a shotgun wedding by the way. My mother's humor is rather underdeveloped."

I see Angela talking to Jared. No doubt checking to make sure I have kept my end of the bargain.

"I should see to my bride. If you'll excuse me."

"Everything is in order, I hope," I whisper near her ear. She jumps.

"You can't blame me for checking."

"Of course not, but double-crossing you doesn't seem to be the best move, now does it? If this is going to be a productive relationship, we should try to trust each other. Would you like me to have the ring appraised as well?"

To her credit, she blushes. "No, that won't be necessary. You have given in to all my demands but one. Which I can live with, for now."

"For always."

"Edward, you can't expect me to believe that you want to remain celibate your whole life?"

"Angela, don't kid yourself into thinking this is going to last."

"True, but a girl can hope. But make no bones about it, I am going to enjoy this for as long as it does last."

"Of that, I have no doubt. We really should be going. But before we do, you need to uphold your end of the bargain. The evidence." I hold out my hand and she walks over to her luggage and grabs a file.

"I was thinking about giving it to you while on our honeymoon but if you want it now..."

I grab it from her and take it to James, in the now empty ceremony room, who makes sure everything is in it before throwing it into the fire we had on for ambiance. Ninety-five degrees outside and we have a fireplace going and the air cranked up. That's ostentatious, even for me.

We say our goodbyes and head out towards the airport where our jet is fueled and ready to go. We arrive at the Fairmont Pacific Rim and check into the City View Suite.

"It's lovely, Edward."

I take her bags to her room and place my suitcase next to the sofa bed. There are two bathrooms so I don't have to worry about that. I grab my laptop and carry it over to the dining room table.

"You hungry?"

"Yes, I could eat."

I toss the room service menu to her as I start working, shutting her out effectively. I hear her huff then five seconds later, her bedroom door slams shut.

It goes on like this the entire weekend. Her trying to talk to me, get me to go somewhere and me, working. I am constantly texting Bella who is slow to answer but her phone…well, I call her when Angela is out and about.

On Sunday night, I drop Angela off at our new home in the east wing of my family's manor and tell her I'll be moving in tomorrow after work. I have to finish gathering my things. She's not happy but what's she gonna do? Divorce me?

I make a beeline for Port Angeles, opting to take the plane I kept waiting for me. I arrive at Bella's about nine-thirty and I knock on her door.

She opens it and she has some green goop all over her face but she lunges at me and I catch her as she kisses me, transferring the goop to my face. She leans back and looks instantly horrified when she realizes this.

She covers her face as she exclaims, "Why didn't you call?"

I wipe my face and laugh. "And give up a chance to surprise my beautiful, vibrant, green-faced wife? Not a chance. I can't stay though, I have early meetings tomorrow."

I stop short when I see Alice sitting on Bella's couch.

"Give me five minutes and I'll be out of your hair." She says with a forced smile.

"I can get you a hotel room." Bella offers her.

"No, it sounds like Masen doesn't have but an hour so I'm gonna go to the bar and I'll be back then."

"By yourself?" Bella asks.

"Fine, I'll go to the grocery store and get more junk food." She grabs her purse and is gone with a discreet glare at me.

I pick up Bella and kiss her.

"Wait. What's that?" She points to her door.

"It's a door."

"No, it's a threshold which you haven't carried me across since we haven't had a night together since Colorado."

"Well, I must rectify that right now." I carry her out into a hallway then back over the door, kicking it closed then making a beeline for the bed.

After all, I now only have forty-five minutes. I have to make the most of it and I do.

Just as I'm about to leave, Bella asks me for a few more minutes. She grabs a rectangle checkbook out of her desk drawer and indicates for me to sit at her table.

"I don't want to offend you or nothin' but I have some money saved. Two thousand, two hundred, forty-two dollars and fifty-eight cents to be exact. And I know we're married now but I need to know that I will still have it if something happens to us."

"Nothing is going to happen to us." I automatically say.

"It could though. What I'm trying to say is I think we should sign a postnuptial agreement. Just something saying that what's mine remains mine and what's yours remains yours. Just what we had before the wedding, like savings or property or whatever." Her knee bouncing gives away her anxiety over having this conversation. I put my hand on it and it stops.

"I can have a lawyer draw it up."

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not. It's actually smart."

She beams. "Okay, good. Thank you."

Alice knocks at the door and I look at my watch. "Times up."

"I'll try to get this way next weekend but I'll call you every time I get a chance."

She walks me to the door where I kiss her, tell Alice goodbye and head back towards the airfield.

God help me, I don't know how long I can do this but I'm afraid I'm just getting started.

Running late so I have no options for playlist. List some in the reviews if you think a song fits!

So... he did it. The most horrible decision of all his horrible decisions. The hole is dug and now he is going to bury himself in it.

See you Sunday.