To Hold a Bird Tightly

Later on, as the day grew to night, the rain gradually grew into another storm. The sound of thunder gently woke Erik from his sleep. He felt a twinge in his neck from sleeping upright as he rose to his feet. Frans sleepily came down the stairs in his pajamas and dressing robe while Christine poured a cup of hot cocoa.

"Are you feeling better, Frans?" asked Christine, offering him hot cocoa, which he gratefully accepted.

"Yes, thank you, Madame Christine. Is Marigold all right?"

"Oh, yes. She's going to be fine. We're so grateful that you were with her and helped us find her. Thank you, Frans."

"Yes, Frans. Without your help, I probably would never have found her. I'm proud of you," said Erik, patting his shoulder proudly.

Erik glanced upstairs and sighed. "I think I'll go see her now." He took a cup of hot cocoa and quietly went upstairs towards her room. Quietly, he entered her room and saw her still asleep in bed. It was growing dark in her room as the light in the oil lamp was going out. Setting the cup down on her dresser, he quietly took a match from his pocket to relight the wick.

As he did, a flash of lightning followed by a loud roar of thunder shook the room. Marigold awoke with a small shriek and gasped when she saw a shadowy figure in the dark.

"Wh-who's there?" she gasped.

"It's Papa, Marigold," whispered Erik in the dark.

"Papa? Where are you? It's too dark to see," she whimpered.

"I'm right here. I'm just relighting the lamp. The light went out," he said, until the lamp lit up once more. He stood solemnly over his daughter's bed and observed that the cloth on her head had gone dry. He dipped it into the cool water and placed it on her head. Marigold tried to reach for her father's hands, but he had quickly replaced the cloth and turned around for the door, looking as though he were about to leave.

"Where are you going?" asked Marigold.

"You told me last night that you wanted me to leave you alone. So, I will leave you alone now," he said, stoically. He turned his face to glance at hers. "Isn't that what you want?"

"Oh, Papa, don't go. Please, stay with me…don't leave me alone." she pleaded.

Unbeknownst to her, Erik smiled a little bit. He had wanted to hear her ask him to stay and felt relieved that she did. However, he didn't want to show it and continued his facade. He turned back to her and pulled up a chair to her bedside. He sat still and firmly stared at her, which made her even more ashamed. They sat in complete silence until Marigold spoke in a small voice.

"Papa…I'm so sorry for what I said to you last night. It was wrong of me. And I'm sorry that I ran away from home. I promise I won't ever do it again," she said, remorsefully.

Erik simply sat there, listening to her apology. He sighed very deeply and closed his eyes. He took his mask off so Marigold could see how tired and sad his face really was.

"Marigold, what were you thinking by running away like that? You could have been seriously injured or worse and you could have put Frans in danger as well. I tried to look for you all night with no sleep. I didn't know where you had gone, if you were hurt, or what would become of you. Do you have any idea how much your mother and I were worried about you?" he said, firmly.

Marigold broke down in tears and covered her face in her hands. "Oh, Papa…I was j-just so upset…and I wasn't thinking…I'm so s-sorry for what I did…for all the things I said…I truly am…p-please forgive me."

Erik's heart ached as she sobbed uncontrollably. Then after he felt that she punished herself enough, he stood up and walked over to the bed. He sat down at her side and placed his hand at the side of her face. She gasped at his touch and looked up at him with sad eyes. His brow furrowed with sadness. He took his handkerchief out and wiped her cheeks.

"I'm only saying this because I love you," said Erik, in a gentler tone. "I know I may seem overprotective but it's only natural for a parent to want to keep their child safe. What else would you have your father do? If anything happened to you, I don't know what I would do. Do you know how much my heart broke last night when you spoke to me like that and when you ran away from home? It was one of the worst pains I've ever felt."

"But, I…I didn't mean to hurt you," she whimpered brokenly. "I just want to do more. I want to explore and try things for myself. I know you just want to protect me, but you really mustn't worry about me all the time. One day, I need to start doing things on my own, Papa. Please, couldn't you trust me to do that?"

"I understand, my Mari. Truly I do. And of course, I trust you. It's just so hard to let you grow up sometimes," he sighed, gently caressing her cheek. "What can I do to make it better for you? You can tell me."

"Well, I…I would like to…maybe ride a horse on my own. Perhaps, take walks around the woods to explore, with your permission, of course. Just let me try new things for myself?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly.

"I suppose you can do that as a start. I'm sorry for shouting at you the way I did. I didn't mean to be so angry. I haven't really been fair to you either and I'm sorry for that too," he said, softly. "I know you will grow up and eventually experience good and bad, learn new things and try for yourself. And I know I can't always protect you. But I want you to realize when dangerous situations occur and when to use your judgement. Especially when your mother and I tell you not to do something. We only care about your safety because we love you. I hope next time something makes you unhappy, you will just come talk to me about it first, instead of being disrespectful and running away. You know that I am not unapproachable. You must promise me that you won't run away from home like that again. Do you promise?"

Marigold sniffled and nodded. "Yes, Papa,' she said, sadly hanging her head down low. Erik gently tilted her chin up for her to look at him. Then, he smiled softly and held his arms out to her. Marigold looked perplexed at first. "You mean…you forgive me? Even after what I said, you still love me?"

"Of course, I forgive you. I love you, Mari. I always will," he spoke softly, warming her heart.

"Oh, Papa…" she sighed. Without hesitation, she buried her face into his chest and embraced him as he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up at him sadly. "I love you too. I'm sorry," she whispered again, tearfully but sincerely.

"Don't cry…" he whispered gently, looking lovingly down at her. "I'm not angry anymore. I'm just so glad I found you." Marigold just continued to cry and Erik held her tighter. When she finally calmed down, he kissed her forehead, lowered her back down into the bed and wiped away any remaining tears.

"I understand that you are growing into a young lady and need to be more independent, but you know that because you were disrespectful and ran away from home, there must be consequences for your actions. However, if you can accept your consequences, I shall see how much independence you have earned. For instance, if you feed and care for the animals routinely, I will see that you will learn how to ride a horse. If you can help tend to the garden and help your mother with household chores more often than usual, I will allow you to take walks around the woods, provided that we have a discussion about taking proper precautions and as long as Frans goes with you. Does that sound fair?"

"Yes, Papa."

"Good. Now, I want you to relax and let me see how you're feeling." He felt her head and face. "Well, your fever seems to be going down, which is a good sign. Frans told me you hurt your ankle. Will you let me see it and make sure it isn't worse off?"

Marigold nodded hesitantly. Erik lifted the blanket and carefully assessed her ankle. It was much more swollen than before. "Oh my, that must be painful. I'm only going to check to make sure nothing is broken. It may hurt just a little, but I promise I'll try to be careful. All right?"

Marigold prepared herself as he rubbed around her ankle, looking for any signs of broken bones. When he applied pressure near the joint, she gasped and cried out in pain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," he apologized, continuing to check her injury. "Well, I don't feel anything broken. Let's see if it can still move and have feeling." He gently moved her ankle around. "It can still move, which is a good sign. Now try to move your toes?" She did so with ease. "Well, the good news is it isn't broken. You just sprained it rather hard." He said, placing a new cold compress on it. She looked down sadly.

"Don't worry. Some bedrest for a couple of days and you'll be all right." he said. "Soon be back to your cheerful self, hmm?" He gave her other foot a gentle little tickle, bringing a small smile back to her face. He looked at her face and touched her cheek. "You still look a little pale." He rose and walked to the other side of the room to fetch her cup of cocoa. "Here you are. This should put some color back in your cheeks." He gave her the cocoa and she readily drank it. He sat back down on the chair.

"How did you find me, Papa?"

"I was sitting under our tree after searching all night. Then Frans came running from the woods and he told me where you were. He tied your hair ribbon to a branch to help me find the way to the old cottage. Then I found you on the floor under some blankets. I just held you for a moment, relieved to have you back in my arms. Then, I picked you up and carried you home, but I had to get you warm quickly as you were under hypothermia. But it looks as though you're going to be all right now. Oh, I'm so glad I found you. I'm sure you must have been very frightened as well, weren't you?"

She looked down sadly. "I was very scared. I promise I won't run away again. I'm sorry."

"I'm glad to hear that and I accept your apology. Now, why don't I carry you downstairs, sit you by the fire and bring you some more cocoa. Would you like that?" he asked. She nodded. He stood and placed her coral knitted shawl around her shoulders. Carefully, he lifted her in his arms, taking great care with her ankle. Slowly, he carried her downstairs and into the sitting room, where Christine and Frans were sitting by the fire with hot cocoa.

"Look who's awake," Erik said. He carefully set Marigold down on a chaise and tenderly placed her ankle on a cushion as Kit jumped up next to her. He went to fetch her a second cup as Christine and Frans sat across from Marigold on the settee.

"Are you feeling better, darling?" asked Christine.

"Yes, Mama. A little."

"And has she learned her lesson, Erik?" Christine called out to her husband.

"She has, Christine," replied Erik, bringing Marigold her cup and sitting in his armchair. "She understands that we care about her safety and to respect our rules. But I recognize that I need to allow her a little freedom as well, so long as she abides to some rules. We had a long talk, I accepted her apology and told her I will always love her." He smiled gently at Marigold.

"And so do I," said Christine.

"Thank you, Mama and Papa. And thank you, Frans, for saving my life," Marigold said.

"What are friends for?" said Frans.

Later on, as the clock struck ten, everyone was starting to feel exhausted. As they all walked upstairs, they all wished Frans goodnight. With Christine, Erik carried Marigold back upstairs to her room. Carefully, he placed her back into her bed and gently put her ankle on a small pillow. Then, he put an extra blanket under her quilt as he tucked her in and sat down next to her on the bed. Christine sat on the other side.

"There. Now that you've have some cocoa and you're in your warm bed, why don't try to get a little more sleep? You've had a tiring night last night," said Christine.

"Not just yet, Mama. Could you and Papa sit and talk with me a little longer?" she asked softly. Though exhaustion was written on her face, they couldn't refuse her.

"Of course. We'll sit here until you fall asleep," said Christine. Looking down at her, they gently took her hands. She laid there and just looked up at her father. His eyes looked very tired but they were full of love. She couldn't help but think about how he must have been walking in the rain all night, frantically looking and worrying for her. And how awful it was when they quarreled. She hated it when he was angry at her. When she truly thought about how much anxiety she must have put him through, she felt so sad that she held his hand closer to her cheek and nuzzled it.

"Papa?"

"What is it, sweetling?"

"I'm sorry that we quarreled."

"I am sorry for that as well. I shouldn't have acted so harshly. I keep forgetting how my temper gets the better of me. What I should have done was spoken to you calmly," said Erik.

"And I shouldn't have screamed at you the way I did. I should have listened to you like a good daughter," she said, looking down sadly.

"You are a good daughter. Everyone makes mistakes. We were both wrong and we both handled it badly, but we've both learned a lesson. You know to remember our rules and to not run away from home. I know that I need to allow you some independence. And we both know to talk calmly to one another instead of scream," said Erik.

"However, we may have other quarrels again in the future. But what's important is that we learn from our mistakes. It's how we grow," said Christine.

Marigold nodded resolutely. "But it scares me when you are angry with me," she said to Erik.

Erik looked at her with both sadness and sincerity in his eyes. "I may feel angry sometimes, especially when you disobey us, but I still love you. And no matter how old you are, we're always going to worry about you a little. It's just how a parent is."

Then he smiled and leaned forward to whisper. "But I will tell you that I like it much better when we reconcile." She smiled sweetly and he chuckled as he tucked the blanket close around her.

"Thank you, Papa," she said.

"For what?" asked Erik.

"For saving my life. I didn't think you would come for me, but you did and I'm glad I could tell you how much you and Mama mean to me You are so good to me. Thank you."

"Oh…you're welcome," he sighed lovingly. They both leaned over and kissed her forehead. Marigold gave a small yawn and sleepily smiled up at them. He hummed Lavender's Blue softly to her as she tried to keep her eyes open until sleep finally overcame her. They sat for a while watching her sleep.