Regina stood in the middle of an empty living room while the realtor rattled off the amenities of the house. It was gorgeous, she mused. Big enough of a space to afford privacy. Tucked into a Cul-de-Sac outside of the city, the house stood at two stories. The yard was large enough for Roland to play and maybe get the dog he'd been begging for.

It was just close enough the drive wouldn't be terrible to get to her job, to Maggie's. It was quiet, safe, and her neighbors were far enough away she wouldn't worry about feeling cramped.

Walking into the kitchen, she smiled. The cabinets were white, the appliances stainless steel, the island dominated the room. Trailing her fingers along the granite, she could imagine cooking in the space. At the window, she looked out into the yard.

Her heart squeezed because she wanted to see the tidy cozy porch at Rob's home. Shaking her head, she tried to put it out of her mind. Rob was angry with her and she understood it. She didn't want to hurt him, but he didn't understand that she needed to stand on her own two feet. To pay for it on her own.

Because she failed to explain that to him, it was easier to avoid him. Though, after a couple of weeks, he'd shown up at Maggie's house. Panicked she thought he'd confront her. Instead, he'd thrown her off. He'd asked to take Roland out.

So, for the last week, that's what he did. He showed up to pick up Roland and when he dropped him off, he left without lingering. They spoke little and he stopped calling and texting. Her heart hurt. She missed him.

Moving into the master bedroom, she glanced around. The room was big enough to fit a king-size bed if she chose. The bathroom made her sigh. A shower stall with jets stood strong with a glass door. The jet tub called her name. The vanity had seashell fixtures.

Upstairs, she found a room for Roland, a library the previous owner had modeled, and two extra bedrooms. A bathroom with similar fixtures. Outside, the realtor showed her the pool. Roland would go nuts, she mused. A fenced-in yard was large enough with trees and an already had a jungle gym.

Along the side, a flowerbed was tended by the realtor. Regina would have to learn how to tend it if she planned on taking the house. The house was picture perfect, held everything she could want, and they'd be happy here. Only, guilt crawled into her heart.

"So, what do you think?"

Regina bit her lip. "I'll make my decision after the holidays."

"Great. We'll keep it on the market, and we have a few showings coming up in early January. So, you'll want to jump on it as soon as possible."

"Thank you."

Regina went to the market to do her usual shopping. While Roland was with Rob, she took advantage of the solitude. It took longer than usual. Her list was firmly in her purse. As she went through her list, she stopped to get her groceries, household paper products, and onto her bathroom and beauty needs.

In the grocery aisle, she found a large turkey and had to pick it up before it was snagged. She got the ingredients to her famous cherry and pumpkin pie. Her stuffing. The works. This year would be fuller than most with people all over the place. It made her happy.

Armed with a cart full of food to feed an army, she moved into the paper aisles. Calculating what she needed, she called Maggie. "Hey, Mags. How many people are we expecting for Thanksgiving?"

"Twenty or so. Where are you? How was the house?"

Picking pretty plates, napkins, and supplies, she wandered with her heart lifted. "I'm at the grocery store. Oh, Mags it's perfect. The house is like a picture. I can see Roland and me being in the house."

"Better than the last one?"

"Miles better. This is the one." She found napkins in cute leaves and added them to the basket. With the same pattern, she added plastic utensils, plates, bowls, and serving spoons.

"I can't wait to see it. Did you put in an offer?"

"No, not yet. After Christmas." She picked up a pumpkin bowl and grabbed a package of potpourri. "The realtor is waiting to show it until January. I'll have time to make up my mind."

"Have you talked to Rob yet?"

"No," she frowned. "He doesn't understand me."

"He loves you," she declared.

"I love him too, but he wants to tuck me into his house and take care of me. I don't want to be kept, Maggie. Doesn't get that I've felt that way for the last ten years?"

Maggie sighed. "Maybe you should explain it to him. He's hurting."

"I know." Her voice broke as she moved onto the makeup section. "I didn't mean to hurt him, but I seem to keep doing it."

"Put yourself in his shoes. He let you go when you were kids and he didn't come after you. He's doing the same thing now. I think in his mind if you love something let it go. If it's meant to be it'll come back. I've tried to talk to him about you, but you know what he says?"

"What?"

"It's up to you to make up your mind. You know what that tells me?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me." She picked up the foundation and new brushes.

"It tells me that he's hurt but he's still putting you first. I see it in his eyes. What are you going to do?"

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I'm going to think. I have that job offer, I have a house I love, and I feel stronger than I ever have. I have options."

"I meant what are you doing to do about Rob, but based on what you've listed, he doesn't even rank."

Closing her eyes, Regina stopped. "Mags, stop it. Of course, he ranks. He's a big part of why I didn't put an offer on the house today."

"Do you plan on living apart? Dating for a while? Where can this go if you buy that house? I don't mean to pressure you, love. But you've got to figure out the big picture. What about Roland? Do you figure he'll spend weekends with Rob? What about the holidays? It sounds to me, you'll put yourselves in a traditional visitation schedule."

Irritated, she picked out what she needed and moved on. Crossing things off her list, she moved on. "I know how it sounds. I'm not prepared for what he wants. He wants to marry me, have more babies, and he wants to live in the house as a big happy family as if there isn't a world of hurt inside of me. I can't give that to him yet."

Regina heard Maggie clattering around in the background. "Then, you should sit down and tell him that. You're dangling him on the end of a line, and he doesn't deserve it. If you want to break it off, do it already. If you want something more, you've got to fight for it. Because he's ready to give up."

"What do you mean give up?"

"Regina, you can't be that dense. He's checked out emotionally. I can't get through to him. David's tried. Hell, I talked to Jack too. He's going through the motions."

Swallowing, Regina's shoulders slumped. "I don't know what to do, but I don't want to talk about this in the middle of the grocery store. I need to…" She stopped dead. Glancing at her list, she looked up and froze.

"Regina?"

"What's today's date?" Her voice was so small it was a wonder Maggie even heard her.

"The eighteenth. Why?"

Her throat closed and tears flooded her eyes. "I'll be home soon," she whispered and hung up. Her body began to shake, and she set down the package of tampons. Her mind was reeling. She'd missed picking them up last month, and the month before. That familiar terrifying feeling she felt nine years before suddenly surrounded her.

Backing away from the shelf, she started to tremble. Next to the tampons, her eyes landed on the pregnancy tests and her breathing suddenly failed her. White dots could be seen around her eyes as she reached out and picked one up. "No."

Tears fell as she stared down at it. "No, I'm being paranoid," she decided. Putting it down, she picked up the tampons and added them to the cart. "It's ridiculous," she insisted wiping her eyes as she finished her shopping. If she felt a nagging feeling in her chest, it was only because she was anxious about the situation with Rob, she told herself.

But there was more than a nagging feeling when she got home and found Robin's truck in the driveway.

…

Rob saw her pull up. "Hey, buddy it's time I get going."

Roland pouted. "Can't you stay for dinner? Maggie invited you."

He wasn't about to put Regina in that position to have to be around him if she didn't want to. So, he said, "Not tonight. I love you." He hugged him tight and inhaled the smell of him.

"I love you too."

As Regina came inside with a handful of bags, he saw her open car full of more. "Need any help?"

"That would be great, actually. There's a twenty-pound turkey in there somewhere." She was pale and a little shell shocked. He watched her for a minute and saw her hands shake when she set the bags down.

He wanted to ask if she was alright, but it was in his best interest to ignore it. He grabbed bags and put them down on the floor. He went out again and grabbed the turkey. When he set it down, she was still standing there staring off into space. He touched her shoulder and she jerked. "You okay?"

"What?" When she turned, he saw her eyes. He took her chin and tilted her head back.

"Are you sick?" He frowned. She looked a little green.

Regina stepped back and seemingly snapped out of it. "No, I'm sorry." Turning, she started picking things out of bags. "Where's Maggie?"

"She took off. Roland is in the bedroom." He slid his hands in his pockets. "He finished his project and his math."

"Thank you." Her hands were still shaking, he noted. "Did he eat?"

Leaning against the counter, he relaxed. He wanted to make sure she was okay before he left. "I took him to get pizza."

As she emptied bags, he took some of the paper products and put them in the pantry. He opened the refrigerator and moved things out of the way to put the turkey inside. He added the rest. When he was done, he helped put away the rest of the stuff.

Regina was sitting at the table staring off again. "Hey." Again, he touched her shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She nodded. "Yea."

He hesitated then he poured her a glass of water and set it on the table. "Here. Drink." He sat next to her and grabbed the glass when she almost bobbled with because her hands were shaking so hard. "Regina, what's going on?" He kept his voice gentle.

They sat in silence for several minutes before she rested her head on the table. "I don't feel so good," she finally said.

He rubbed her back and brought his hand to her head. "No fever," he declared. "Come on." He scooted out and picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

Roland looked up from the new tablet Rob bought him. "What's wrong with mom?"

"She's feeling a little sick." He set her on the bed and slipped her shoes off. "Get under these." He tugged on the sheets and tucked her under. "Ro, go get that glass of water on the table in the kitchen." Her eyes closed and he saw a tear leak out. "Should I call Maggie?"

"No, I'll be fine," she whispered. Roland came in and gave Rob the glass. He handed it to her, and she drank deeply. "Thanks."

"Mom wants to see Roland tomorrow. Is that alright?" He hated that he had to ask permission.

"Of course, he can. You don't have to ask."

"Yes, I do. I don't want to step on your toes." He watched color seep into her cheeks. He touched her cheek unable to help himself. "You're not pale anymore. Feel better?"

"I'm okay. Just tired." Snuggling into her pillow, she looked over at Roland. "What time tomorrow?"

"How's ten?"

Nodding, she thanked him again. Before he could stand, she took his hand. He stared down. "We need to talk, Robin."

He swallowed. He wasn't going to like it. It was clear. He glanced at Roland who had his nose in a book. "Ro, why don't you go outside?"

"Okay." He stepped out with his book.

Rob toes off his boots and climbed into the bed with her. Back to the headboard, he crossed his ankles. He made sure not to touch her. "Go ahead."

She turned and sat up to face him. He saw her nerves. He steeled himself from whatever it was she was about to say. His heart was already tender. If she wanted to step back from him, he was certain he wouldn't survive. His face went blank and he intended it to stay that way no matter what.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," she began. "I feel like I haven't stood on my own two feet for a long time. Financially or emotionally." He knew where this was going. He kept his silence. "I told you about the job offer and I handled it poorly," she admitted.

"How?"

"I should've explained myself better. Rob, it's not that I don't want what you want to give me." She scooted closer and to his relief wrapped her arms around him. He touched his cheek to hers for a moment and simply inhaled her scent. "Any woman would be thrilled."

Leaning back, he said, "Just not you."

"Don't say it like that." Releasing him, she turned. His breathing started to become heavy. His head dizzy.

"What are you saying, Regina? If you're gonna end this, make it clear. Very clear," he said. "This isn't our first rodeo."

"Rob…" She sighed.

Feeling the break, he edged off the bed. Waited a minute. "Say the words."

"What?"

He closed his eyes. "I pushed you too far," he said. Shaking his head, he hated himself. He reached down to put on his boots. "I get that you've gone some things to work through. But I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me now where we stand. This silent treatment is getting old."

After he put his boots on, he turned to her. Waited. "I need to stand on my own two feet. To make my own money. To live in a place that I paid for." She bit her lip. "To know that I can be on my own without having to depend on someone. Really depend on someone to bail me out."

His heart was breaking and the plans he had to wear her down fell flat at his feet. Deflated into the swirl of despair that was his life. "Say it."

Tears started to fall down her cheeks. "I love you, Rob. I just can't be with you right now."

He stared down at the floor for a long time. Time eluded him. Until he looked up and into her eyes. The woman he loved, he mused. The woman for the second time in his life was telling him she didn't want him. She didn't want her life hitched to his. It hurt.

Emotion swelled inside of him until it threatened to burst out. He couldn't understand what he'd done. Where he'd gone wrong. This wasn't at all what he'd expected. He thought he'd wear her down, show her how good they were together.

Then, when she'd had time to process her trauma, her hurt, he'd be there to catch her. To help her through the emotional fallout. Only, she didn't want him there. Didn't want him period. Well, he mused. That was that. For the second time in his life, he would have to let her go.

Nodding, he couldn't say a word. He didn't trust himself. He stood and walked to the door. "Robin." He stopped and turned to her. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." He'd heard those words before. Not saying a word, he walked out.

Maggie stood in the kitchen. "Hey." He kept walking. "Rob?" He felt raw. He turned. "What happened?" Her brow was creased, she looked at the bedroom and back at him. "What's going on?" She touched his hand. "Are you okay?"

"No." He felt the emotion strangling him. "No, I'm not." He turned and walked out to his truck. He pulled out without looking at the house. The entire drive home, he steeled himself. Tried not to think. To feel. When he pulled up into the driveway, he sat still.

He looked at the house. He'd chosen it for her, he thought. He'd made changes and he'd made sure it was to her specifications. Her wants. Her needs. He did it for her. All for her.

Rob couldn't remember ever feeling so empty. So numb. Inside, he went to the kitchen. He pulled out the bottle of whiskey and drank from the bottle. He drank deeply. And kept on drinking until his vision blurred. Until his mind was so muddled, he couldn't think straight.

When he glanced down at the bottle it was over half empty. Might as well finish it, he mused. Stumbling around the house, he managed to drink the rest. Slumped down on the couch and fell off into the darkness. It couldn't be any darker than he felt.