Lily Rosestt, District 12 Female: Week of Recovery, day 4
"They're really gonna make us write letters to home? And what happened to the 'ready' buttons anyway? They just up and just disappeared." Abram says.
"I don't know." I sigh, "I really didn't understand those buttons anyway."
"Well they were basically like just a chance for all the tributes to say that they were done with the free time in the Capital but I don't see why they would want to."
"But what about the part with you and Sunna?" I ask remembering her announcement.
"I don't know why she said I wasn't allowed to push my button until I was better because I was already outta the hospital."
"Ooohhhh."
"So really if you were ready and rested up for the Private Sessions you could just press your button. Then once everyone pressed their buttons we would head on towards the arena." He says, "but neither Sunna or I could push it 'till we were feeling better but that's what I don't get, I was already out of the hospital then."
"That makes sense," I say.
"Yeah, it took me a second too." He replies. "Her thinking I was still in the hospital was probably just a mistake though." He says, "you know what else was a mistake?"
"What was?" I ask.
"Pranking Allegro, it was funny and all but his mentor had a breakdown due to some trauma she had with a prankster tribute."
"Oh wow."
"It was a really good prank though,"
"Yeah the note cards were a really good idea." I laugh.
"You thought of those."
"Exactly."
"Oh wow, very humble I see." He says and we share a silent gaze for a split second before we both erupt in laughter. Why? I have no idea to be honest, we just did. Laughing always changes a mood, and can turn someone's frown upside down. Other than the obvious fact that I have been sent to my death and terrible stuff has happened, recently I haven't been so happy. But somehow Abram's jokes always seem to cheer me up, which I like. Something good has actually come from my death sentence.
"Lily!" Jeremiah says coming out of his room. "Have you written your letter yet?"
"No… don't we have all week to write them."
"Well, yes, but your room will only be soundproof for the next six hours.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
"And I'd like you to get it done as soon as possible."
"Alright just come down to my floor when you're done." Abram says getting out of the couch and onto his feet.
"Cool." I reply, turning to face my mentor. "What do I even write about?"
"Just write to your family and friends."
"Like, hey mom and dad, I'm dead?" I laugh but my mentor sighs obviously not finding my joke very funny.
"Like something sentimental. Do you have a best friend or favorite family member you could thank for being in your life?"
"I do have some friends but never a best friend, not since Ashley." I say.
"Who's Ashley?" he asks and my smile fizzles away.
Ashley killed herself and I could have saved her. I could've saved her. I could have been there for her, I could have stopped that bully before it was too late.
"I'm gonna go." I say, quickly turning on my heels trying not to let any tears fall.
"Alright." Jeremiah replies as I shut the door.
I crumple to my knees, tears fall down my face, ones that could never come out if James or Abram were around. There goes all the happy jokes. All the happiness I felt was so quickly overtaken by despair. Sobs rack my body and I don't bother to wipe the tears away.
I can't do this.
This isn't what I signed up for.
"I can't murder innocent children. I just can't." I cry, "I can't…"
Tears stain my face but I don't care. "Why did they have to choose me?" I scream, grabbing the vase that sat next to bed. It was stained a pretty red with little yellow dots that looked like tiny flowers.
The shiny stained glass made a terrible sound when it shattered against the wall. One worse than a scream or a yell. It stung my ears as shards rained down upon me. "No!" I scream. "No! No. No." My knees and arms bleed from the shards but I could care less.
Suddenly I hear a knock at the door but I don't get up. I don't want to see anyone. It's probably just Jeremiah wanting to make sure I was writing my letter, anyway.
"Go away!" I scream as I slide my back down the wall and cover my face with my arms. "Please…" my voice comes out shakey as I cover my face with my hands. I know he can't hear me but the words just felt like they needed to be said over the throbbing of my brain.
Suddenly a piece of paper slides under the door and onto the shard-covered floor. Footsteps move away from the door as I slowly get up, shards burning into my hands but I shake the pain away.
The paper was torn from the same one we needed to write our letters on. I let out a small cry as I quickly open it up, getting the page wet with dark red liquid. The handwriting was messy but I could make the words.
Lily,
I sighed getting to my feet and pacing around the room. Shards clung to my feet but I kept walking. Just keep your breathing steady. In. Out. In. Out.
I'm always here to talk, whenever you need someone. Writing home's gonna be hard. I'm a good listener.
I clutch the paper in my hand, not caring about how much blood I was actually losing.
-Abram
It was a simple note but it was enough to make me feel better. He was a good friend, I know I can always count on him. His goofy smile always seemed to make me laugh no matter how sad I am.
Suddenly a wave of extreme dizziness hit me and I fell to the ground. My eyes went blurry and my breath came out in gasps. "James! Jeremiah!" I shout even though I know none of them can hear me.
Liz Starr, District 2 Female: Week of Recovery, day 5
Why couldn't we just have gone straight into the private sessions? Why did we have to waste time writing these stupid letters? I didn't want to say anything to mom or dad, they don't fucking matter. Only Harry does and I couldn't let his last memory of me from a piece of paper that my murderer could be reading to him. Why did these stupid letters matter so much to the President anyway? Why did she want to make us go through this?
"Hey." Jocylin says as she walks out of the elevator. I don't respond just smile up at her from my place on the couch. "Writing home's hard." She sighs as she sits down next to me. She has a black pen in her hand but no letter.
"Yeah." I say attempting to swallow the giant lump in my throat.
"Liz?"
"Yes?"
"If you're the one that makes it home." She says her lip quivering, "promise me you'll tell Lilia that I love her."
"Is she the one you volunteered for?"
"Y-yes. She's my girlfriend."
"I'm sorry." I say as tears fall down her face. I wipe them away with my hand, attempting to make her feel better.
"She's the reason I'm alive. She's the one that saved me."
"Lin, I'm so sorry." I comfort as she sobs into my shoulder. "Hey you can do this, you can make it home to her. I know you will. When you do, please tell Harry that I love him."
"Boyfriend?" Jocylin asks looking up with her tear-stained face.
"No, brother."
"I will." She sobs pushing her face into my shoulder again. Her body shakes and I'm not sure how to comfort her.
"Hey it's gonna be fine." I say awkwardly.
"Seriously Liz? It's twenty-two other tributes."
"Yeah… but we have each other and can make it pretty far."
"Pretty far isn't home."
"Come on Lin," I say.
"I'm being honest and you know it." She mumbles with her face still pressed against my shoulder.
"No."
"Are you sure? 'Cause I know you're lying."
"I'm not lying, we can do this." I say.
"Sure." She sighs, lifting her head to face me. "I'm just being real, we have no chance."
"Don't say that," I reply. "You've been listening to Gage too much."
"I'm just being honest."
"Well we aren't dead yet, don't give up so easily."
"I guess." She sighs.
"Have a little confidence, worrying won't do us any good."
"Yeah..."
"Come on, confidently."
"We can do this." She says monotonically, giving me sacractic jazz hands.
"That's a start." I laugh.
"I guess." She sighs, rolling her eyes.
"Lin stop worrying."
"I'm being real."
"Then stop being real." I laugh.
"I can't though, that's the problem."
"There has to be a switch, you can't always worry." I laugh and Jocylin surprisingly joins me, her laugh sweet and light.
"I mean." She says between bursts of laughter, "I don't know why this is so funny but it is."
"I'm just that funny."
"I guess so." She says laughing even harder.
"That's the spirit." I reply giving her two overenthusiastic thumbs ups.
"Yeah, we can do this." She replies, her laughter stopping but she seems to gain confidence in her words.
"You're damn right we can." I say and Jocylin moves away from me and up onto her feet.
"Thanks for making me feel better, I was having a hard time writing home."
"Glad I could help, that's what friends are for."
"Yeah." She says. "Wait what's that?"
"What's what?" I ask, turning to face the direction she was pointing. On the small kitchen counter was a giant cardboard box that looked like it was stuffed to the brim.
"That box."
"Probably just something Abram tried to prank Allegro or me with. Did I tell you about how he glued over a hundred note cards all over Al's walls."
"Whoa that's a lot." She says.
"That's what I said."
"Why would he want to prank you if he already pranked Allegro? Wouldn't he try to go for a different district 'cause it'd be too obvious." She replies.
"True. Let's go take a look." I say jumping over the couch and briskly walking over to the kitchen. Jocylin doesn't hesitate and follows me. Suddenly something hits my ankle and before I can say anything freezing cold water comes crashing down on me. "Fuck!" I scream wiping my eyes.
"What just happened?" Jocylin says looking down at the string tied in the doorway. "Whoa, that was not what I expected to happen."
"Me neither-r." I say shivering from the cold water.
"Um, where are the towels? You need to get dry."
"I don't-t know-w." I reply as she quickly heads into the bathroom and emerges a half a minute later with a blue fluffy towel.
"That should work, you should probably get changed too."
"Y-yeah." I say wrapping the towel around my body, "trust-t me, w-we'll get him b-back."
"Go get changed first."
"Good idea-a." I reply heading back into my room. From there I strip my body from my soaking wet leggings and step into a pair of jeans and a pale purple shirt. After I'm done I throw the towel over in my laundry pile in the corner of my room. "That's better." I say coming out of my room.
"Cool, now about the prank to get him back." She laughs, "I was thinking we replaced his toothpaste with shampoo."
"I like your thinking." I chuckle.
"How mad do you think he'll get? 'Cause this is gonna be awesome."
"Exactly the madder we make him the better." I say, "wait, while we're at it, why don't we put dye in the shampoo?"
"Yas, stain his teeth blue." She laughs.
"Abram's pranks are catching up to him." I reply, extending my hand for a high-five. She slaps it and motions toward the bathroom.
"We need to gather supplies."
"True, let's do this thing." I say.
James Patrick, District 12 Male: Week or Recovery, day 6
I twirl my pen in my fingers while I stare at the black piece of paper. I had given up writing my letter for the past few days. I have no family or friends that gave a damn about me, so why would I write to them? All I have is Alice. My wonderful girlfriend who truly makes my world interesting. Although, I do have Lily but it's not the same, I want her to die. Not only die but die with her blood on my own hands.
Her and the boy from Ten made good allies but I'd easily kill them both. Lily seems more distracted than usual and definitely not on top of her game, yesterday I tried to pick a fight with her and she didn't even care. She didn't fight back like normal. It's obvious that she's scared of what I can do in the games.
That or something's on her mind. It could very well be these games getting to her, she's emotionally weak so it wouldn't surprise me. She isn't prepared for murder like I am, that's her mistake.
I'm experienced. I've done this before. I remember how Sara's face turned a deep shade of blue when I squeezed her throat. I remember how she clawed at my hands and how I didn't let go.
Lily will freeze up when she sees death but I won't. I'm gonna be running at her full force. She will die and the blood will be on my hands. I'll show all of District Twelve who has won this battle, who ended on top.
Dear Alice,
I sprawl out her name out in sloppy, messy writing. Why did I even have to write this? I'd be back anyway. I could just tell her in person, oh how she'll fear me. How she'll worship me, seeing what I did in the arena. I will murder with no mercy. I have to make it back and to do that I had to get a little blood on my hands. I don't care. Murder isn't new. It never was.
Everyone fears murder and why I don't understand why. I remember yesterday I was in the elevator with the small boy from Nine and he just randomly broke out crying. I asked him why, I honestly didn't care at all, I just wanted him to shut up, and he just looked up and started crying more. He was like 'I can't do this' and I straight up told him 'you're right, at least with that attitude'.
He asked me how I could think like that when everyone else here has to die for me to go home and I was like 'I just don't give a fuck about anyone else.' His eyes went wide and more tears fell out. I honestly didn't know that many tears could come out of such a small boy.
"James!" I hear Jeremiah shout from the living room. Slowly I get to my feet and open the door. He was sitting on the couch, his smile overwhelmingly bright.
"What's wrong?" I ask, I honestly don't care about what he has to say either. However, I do know I need to have a good relationship with my mentor because he could up and save my life in the arena.
"I just got back from a hospital visit, Lily's doing better."
"Cool." I sigh rolling my eyes, he just called me out here to talk about Lily getting better? Ugh.
"You really should care about her, she's your district partner."
"Here's the thing Jeremiah, I don't."
"Come on James, you can't hate everyone." He says.
"Yes I can. They all have to die anyway."
"Don't you want allies?" He replies.
"Nope, I'm good all by myself." I say.
"Whatever, you should still care about her."
"I fucking don't, alright!" I shout. "She can die today for all I care."
"Don't say that." He scolds and I turn around, ready to head back into my room.
"I'm done, you're not helping me." I sigh.
"You should at least act nice during your interviews." He says as I walk away from him and into my room.
"So much for a good relationship with my mentor." I sigh, "but I can do this by myself."
I don't need nice mentors or to give a damn about my district partner, I can do this all on my own. Fuck everyone who told me I couldn't, because they're wrong. I'll win and show them. I'll show them all that my way works and that they shouldn't have bossed me around.
When I get out Jeremiah will be sorry he ever doubted me. He'll be sorry he didn't get on my side and that he told me to be nice to Lily. He's too nice, how did he even win? Tricking his opponents? I could watch games, any would be better than going back to writing home to Alice.
I look over at the television perched on the wooden desk I'd been writing on. There's a basket down below of tapes, old Hunger Games no doubt. I pick up the woven basket and run my hands along the old tapes.
I stare hard at the one marked 291st. It wasn't the games Jeremiah one but one Caspian Cleaver did. He ended the games with six kills, including the girl from Six that he just picked up and threw off a cliff. Now this is the kind of guy I wish was my mentor but the pair from Seven get him instead.
The monster of a tribute he was, is the monster I inspire to be. That's what I want to be like in the arena. Merciless. Confident. Victorious. Someone who can easily kill their district partner.
"I guess I can go and ask him for advice." I mutter, setting down the tape. "Yeah, no more of this Jeremiah crap, time for a real mentor."
Angel Mayfield, District 1 Female: Week of Recovery day 7
I have been putting off writing my letter again and again, never actually finding the perseverance to write home. How do I even start a letter like this? Something so important. Something to tell my dad that he actually meant something to me.
Over the time being in the Capital I've realized that this isn't what I wanted. This isn't what I signed up for. This isn't what I committed my life for. This isn't how the Capital described the games, this isn't killing for fun. This is execution, this is part of war.
The lies the Capital had spread ran deep within the districts and twisted their minds. Showed them that they needed to be entertained as two of their very own were slaughtered. Taught them to fear war and with that lied about peace.
Now that I know the truth it feels like a part of me went flying out the window, almost like it was ripped away. It was all lies, nothing more. How could the Capital do this to us? To me. How could they lie like this?
I've tried talking to Kai and Misty about it but they won't listen. They think these are just 'games' but it's one thing to kill a dummy, it's another to kill a real human bean. Another living, breathing human.
I now see the mentors trudging down the halls, their faces covered with sadness and the drowning thoughts that haunt them at night. I see how killing people has killed them on the inside and that's not what I want.
What have I gotten myself into? This is it. Living sounds alright but not what the Capital told us about. They didn't tell us about the anxiety and trauma that comes from killing. They didn't tell us about the guilt or the sleepless nights.
I quickly wiped my eyes, looking at the droplets that had collected on the cream-colored paper. This isn't what I want. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. The pain of living would be too much to bear but that same pain would be felt as a disgrace on my father if I died.
I can see the pain in Vasilius. The way his eyes dart around the room or the way he'll lock himself in his room for hours at a time. He doesn't like the games anymore than the next victor but something was different with him, he put himself behind bars of guilt and hid his pain in plain sight.
However, no matter how hard it is, today I'm gonna sit down and write to my own father about the pain I have brought upon myself. The mistake I made by volunteering. The mistake I made by not listening to him. All he wanted what was best for me, I just wish I hadn't been so blind and could have seen it earlier.
Seen the pain it brings to all of the families whose child dies in the terrible Hunger Games. Seen the pain I would force upon my father.
Dad,
The writing before me is messy from my hand shaking but it's legible and that's all that matters.
I've made a terrible mistake. I volunteered for these death games, and I'm not coming home if you're hearing this. You warned me but I didn't listen. How much I wished I would have listened.
I sigh trying to keep my hands from shaking too bad. I slowly set down the green pen and wipe the tears away from my face.
"I'm sorry dad." I whisper, even though I know he can't hear me. I run my fingers through my hair, "I'm really sorry."
"Angel are you alright?" Vasilius says from outside my door. His voice makes me jump and I look back down at the page on my desk.
"I'm fine, just working on my letter."
"Alright, if you ever want to talk, um, I'm here."
"Thanks Vasilius but I'm fine."
"Cool, I'll be in my room if you or Nyx need anything."
"Alright." I sigh turning back to my letter. "I can't do this anymore." I say pushing back the chair I was sitting on and getting to my feet. I make my way across the room and open my door. "Nyx?" I ask.
"Yeah?"
"Wanna do something besides writing our letters?"
"I've actually already written my letter but we can totally hang out."
"Cool." I say.
"Wanna grab some lunch from the lobby? We can get Misty and Kai." They reply.
"Sounds great, I just need to get outta my room."
"Cool, I've been dying to try the lamb stew."
"Actually that sounds pretty good." I say as Onyx gets to their feet and walks toward the elevator.
"You coming?" they ask turning around to face me.
"Yeah, let's go." I reply quickly making my way to the elevator. We rode down to the fourth floor in silence.
"Misty! Kai!" Onyx shouts as the doors open. They emerge from their rooms at the exact time wearing matching expressions.
"Guess everyone could use some cheering up." I say giving the pair a smile.
"Where are you guys going?" Kai asks, stepping into the elevator.
"To commit arson." I chuckle as Misty joins us.
"Wait what?"
"Just kidding, we're gonna go grab some lunch."
"I mean arson's not completely off the table." Kai laughs.
"That's a true statement."
"Guys we actually aren't gonna go commit arson, right?" Onyx asks, their eyes wide.
"Of course not." Misty says as she shoots me and Kai a look that says 'shut your face right now'.
"Yeah." Kai says as we both try not to explode from laughter. The elevator dings and all four of us step out, our footsteps hitting the floor in perfect sync.
A/N: Back with another chapter! This one's a bit early and was pretty awesome to write. I'm also so pumped that we only have 5 more chapters 'till we reach the arena! Oh and I forgot to mention in the last chapter that starting in this chapter the PoVs would be cycling back through so everyone will get one more PoV in the Capital.
So, shout out to the amazing cartierscrown for helping me when I got stuck and for just vibing with me. Oh and I totally thought I did this wayyyyy earlier but shout out to the wonderful BradiLain for the cover art! Ummm I think that's it, it's late I should sleep but hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Let me know what you think in the reviews!
Bye for now,
Marie