The water droplets along the rim of the entrance were frozen. Some of them had shaved off in the wind; she marched through them without a wince. The shock of the cold, gray-stone floor briefly took over her mind. She felt her heartbeat rise right when it was over, her ears flattening. A young guard tom was standing at the top of the stairs, watching her slowly ascend. He stepped aside enough to let her and the empty bags of her vest go by. He kept his tail low and his ears bent with his brow. Glancing behind her, she briefly caught him relaxed but still staring at her. She wasted no time crossing the balcony, not looking at the faded images along the wall or the collapsed entrances to the dens that ran alongside it. Her attention was solely on the open wood cover to her leader's den. She could already spot her leader, standing under the table instead of atop it. Her bobbed tail twitched with each scratch that her claws made, and her spots were sharper than the rest of her messy fur. Pushing the entrance closed made her wince even more, and she waited for her leader's command before sitting.

"Come here," Solestar growled.

Blackleaf dutifully walked under the table and faced her leader's back.

"Sit down. All the way down."

She rested her front legs on the floor and laying down. She let her vest sag from her shoulders a bit, arching her head up to keep view of her large leader. Solestar was frozen, twitching at any small movements Blackleaf made. She tried keeping herself still, but was disrupted again right when she would settle. Even her own claws made her jump. She took a deep breath, her ears and tail no longer skittish. Even the 'X'-shaped marks on her thighs were visible, scars pressing against the patterns of her fur. And she made sure the medicine cat was looking at them.

"I thought all night about what to do with you." Solestar's voice had softened. "I still refuse to believe you are capable of betraying the clan somehow—"

"I'd never betray the—"

"Shut your mouth, Blackleaf!" Solestar hissed. "You knew! You knew exactly who you were helping. Carelessness like this goes back to the stories of ancient clans. But they were just stories to me. UnderClan knows she's dead. They might've successfully rescued her if we didn't have patrols near the sacred spot. And with the Covenant silent and the blackcough… Warriors are dying all around you, Blackleaf. Why did you have to do this right now?"

Solestar began pacing; Blackleaf let her chin thump against the floor. Each word stung. She started shaking, letting her tail wrap around the scratch on her flank. It stilled her for a moment, until the tapping of her leader's claws took her attention. Her ears twitched each time the wind scratched something against the clear-stone. She tried focusing on it, but her eyes never left her leader's bristling fur. Solestar was bent on keeping the medicine cat's attention while she figured out what to say. She constantly let it flare and calm, and Blackleaf watched it moved up and down.

"I rushed your promotion," Solestar said. "In less than a moon, you've managed to hurt your reputation even more and give intel to the enemy on their captives. And our clan is still far from the Stars. At least that doesn't seem to be a problem." She hung on those words. "When I asked you for advice five days ago, you told me to trust you. That you wouldn't fail me. You were supposed to avoid the mistakes of everything prior. Yet here we are. I should've never put you in medicine cat training."

"You didn't do anything for me," Blackleaf mumbled.

"What?"

"I won't be treated like some apprentice who ran from her post. Helping that medicine cat was the right thing to do. She wasn't our enemy."

Solestar leaned close. "Do you even know what you're saying anymore!?"

"She was looking for answers," Blackleaf growled. "She just wanted to see the Stars return to clan life."

"Don't you dare growl at me! You don't get it, do you? We've lost any leverage we had. Now this is a war to attrition. And there are too many unknowns to fight that way. Do you not care about any of your comrades?"

"Don't drag them into this. You're the dummkopf that allowed them to forget."

"Twoleg-speak is not allowed in—"

"You're disrespecting what it means to be a medicine cat. She knew that. She reminded me of that. You never understood."

Solestar stepped back. "Where did you get the spine to talk to me like this?"

Blackleaf stood. "You aren't the same cat that helped raise me."

"Maybe you just didn't pay close enough attention to me."

"And you didn't see my drive, either. You never asked me why I keep others at a distance. Or why I connected with the UnderClan medicine cat… Solestar, do you even know who the kit you mentored was?"

Solestar sighed, keeping her distance and returning to her pacing. She waited for the wind scratching the clear-stone to die down, and glanced past Blackleaf out the crack in the den's entrance. The tom was still there.

"Do you know what Flyfoot said after she attacked you?" Solestar whispered. "She told me you were too young for your role. You were too stubborn and arrogant for your own good. I had to disagree. I didn't tell her this, but it was enough just to see you. Knowing – believing there was still a desire to help your comrades. Or to make me proud to lead this clan, and to be your teacher. Your health, your drive, it made me hopeful just to watch you… It's disappointing all that knowledge of medicine and that defect of yours was used against your comrades more than for them. All just to wait for the night sky to talk to you. You aren't a bad medicine cat. Just a useless one."

Blackleaf smacked Solestar's nose and made her rear up. She leapt straight into her chest and knocked her on her back. She hit her as many times as she could, Solestar blocking them. When Blackleaf hissed, she kicked her off and puffed out her chest, heaving.

"I should've known," Blackleaf hissed. "When you hit me, when you questioned my judgement. I never had to face judgement around you. Were you ever anything like the leader who mentored me!?"

The den's entrance creaked open; the tom Blackleaf passed on her way in was standing behind her.

"Restrain her." Solestar's voice shook. "In full."

Blackleaf attacked again; the tom yanked her to the ground by her tail. She was pinned under his weight, the tom placing his forelegs in front of her vest's bags. She pushed against them, but his grip was firm. She stopped when the warmth of his mouth enveloped around her neck, his fangs threatening to close.

"What do you think you're doing?" Blackleaf hissed.

"I am his leader, not you," Solestar said. "He did what I told him."

Solestar circled the pair a few times, each pass lingering on the 'X' mark on both of their thighs. She looked at the tom's; displayed by his short fur. Blackleaf's were mostly covered. She rested her paw on the young cat's and brushed her fur aside, making her twitch when she brushed over the scratch. Solestar lingered on it as well, her claws pressing into it. Blackleaf groaned a bit; the tom's tail curled to the side when he saw her face.

"I bet it didn't hurt when that False Shadow touched it," Solestar mumbled.

Her eyes narrowed more as she pressed her claws into the scratch, clenching her teeth and purring. Blackleaf continued to groan, holding her words and trying to move away. The tom almost loosened his pin when he heard her pain; Solestar's quick glance reaffirmed it. When she stopped, she brushed the mark she made. The skin was torn pink, but it did not bleed. She retracted her claws and sat to the pair's side, forcing Blackleaf to slide her head to see her.

"You remind me of a story, Blackleaf." Solestar was trying to keep the shaking in her voice under control. "An unfortunate one, and very similar to yours."

Blackleaf's ears perked up, as did the tom's.

"All those who knew about this died at some point during the Great Sky War. And I've never told anyone… I was the last surviving leader. And I was doubting my decisions without the others there, without StarClan. I had to deal with one of our senior warriors. She had released a cat we were interrogating out of pity – similar to what you tried to do. She was beaten, but never apologized for her actions. Not once. Some of our comrades that patrolled under her sympathized. The situation might've divided the clan if word got out, and we were already so weak. So, I acted on a story my mother told me when Star Covenant members first moved into this twolegplace. About how their ancient branches used to scare off larger clans by taking their she-cats, mating with them, and sending them back to their clans baring a Covenant tom's kits. Brutal, despicable, one of the reasons silverpelt clans established the warrior code in the first place. I was just so angry at that she-cat. And she-she threatened to divide the clan."

Blackleaf's eyes widened. The tom had loosened his grip on her neck.

"I waited for that traitor to go into heat. I took her and her sympathizers underground, to the tunnel beyond the medicine den. Dragged her myself by her neck. I ordered one of the toms we captured to the den, and told him to force himself onto her. It felt like a lifetime for the sympathizers – I could tell just by the way they looked at their senior. I looked into her eyes the whole time as she begged me to accept her apology, pleaded for the tom to get out of her… I had him, and the rest of our captives, killed that same night. The traitor deserted before she could be executed. I prayed that whole night, even when sky-monsters were raining thunder. I begged StarClan for an answer. And you know what I got, Blackleaf…? Nothing! All the death I witnessed, the hatred and defeat in my heart. If this barbaric practice would not so much as condemn me, then nothing would bring them out. I ended that night tired, but victorious. Those sympathizers became loyal warriors once more. And I never prayed again."

The tom quickly pressured her neck before Solestar could look his way. Blackleaf began struggling again, keeping her eyes off her leader's. Her fur bristled enough to reveal additional scars next to her clan marks. A paw grabbed her face, claws pulling her skin; she was forced to look. She groaned again, the tom loosening his pressure on her. Solestar nearly pressed her muzzle against Blackleaf's forehead, holding it until her breathing eased. She moved back a bit, but stayed close.

Solestar cleared her throat. "You have a reputation for not once accepting a tom's advances. You violently reject all of your healthy suitors, but lust after some damaged old tom more loyal to his dead friends than the clan… If you were pregnant, you wouldn't be nimble enough to evade your comrades and that attitude of yours would die for good. You would even gain a scent. When you're next in heat, I should give you to one of our warriors as a reward. Maybe this one, if he keeps his mouth shut about this talk."

The tom nearly slid his muzzle from Blackleaf's neck. Her tail shuttered and wrapped around one of the bags. Her eyes were clenched shut.

"Everything I have been told about you is concerning, so you won't be going anywhere without supervision. Consider your authority as a medicine cat stripped. I hate how it had to come to this… Now get out of my sight. Both of you."

The young tom wasted no time removing himself from the medicine cat's neck and padding back to his post outside the den. Blackleaf left herself on the floor for a while, slowly prying her eyes open and facing Solestar. She did not even glance back, keeping her eyes on the underside of the table and letting her bob tail twitch about. Blackleaf stood and brushed the bags and her vest, keeping her eyes on Solestar as she backed towards the entrance. She pried them away when she turned and nudged it open. Her chest began to heave; she loosened the vest a bit, but it did nothing.

"I still want to see you succeed, Blackleaf," Solestar said. "I still love you."

Blackleaf ignored her leader's words and left the den. Her paws slid across the floor and wandered towards the stairs. She did not stop heaving. The flank where Solestar had dug her claws began to hurt again. She brushed her tail against it, over and over. It only got worse. Blackleaf opened her mouth wide to breathe easier. She gagged a bit, fighting to keep control of her belly. Shutting her mouth and holding her chest, she screamed towards the smallest bit of light she could see. Her claws pressed against the gray-stone and her fur flared out. The tom at the end walked down the stairs and kept his eyes forward.