Snape's long strides were making it hard for her to not fall behind. He hadn't said a word since they had left McGonagall's office, and Hermione was far too grateful to dare interrupting his thoughts. However, when they entered his office again, she couldn't keep silent any longer.
"How will we do it?" she asked eagerly.
"First, we will need a basic cicatrization potion. That will be the base product upon which we will try to incorporate the others."
"I have some!" Hermione practically yelled, excited. "I made some last night, practicing for today's exam… of course, it needed to rest for 24 hours, but it should be ready by now! Shall I go get it?"
"Go. And keep your voice down as you do, will you? Don't make me regret vouching for you, Miss Granger." Snape replied with a warning tone.
She nodded immediately, and rushed towards the door.
As he waited for her to return, Snape tried to recall every detail he knew about the use of live human ingredients in potions. He realized he was appreciating the stimulation, to the verge of almost being excited himself. He had even forgotten about the cold during the last hour, and he realized in that moment that he was also feeling stronger. Before he could arrive to any conclusions, the door opened again, and Hermione entered with a satisfied smile.
She was carrying a small cauldron, which she carefully placed over the desk. "There's only the asphodel powder to add." she informed him, handling a small leather back.
Snape nodded and took the bag she was offering. However, he hesitated, his eyes looking without seeing at the pink liquid.
"Is something wrong?" Hermione asked, concerned.
"Asphodel powder is meant to seal the potion." Snape observed, lost in his thoughts. "If we add it now..." he didn't finish his sentence. Instead, his gaze moved quickly towards his office door. Hermione turned around, looking for whatever had caught his attention, but she saw nothing.
Suddenly, she felt his hand grabbing her elbow, and she gasped with surprise. "Hush!" Snape whispered, urging her towards a narrow door on the right wall that she hadn't noticed before. He opened the door and practically push her inside, where she tripped on the climbing set of steps. Snape closed the door behind them, leaving them in complete darkness. She could hear his agitated breathing, but didn't dare to move.
"Sir?" she whispered, almost inaudibly, and then she felt Professor Snape's finger softly pressing her lips, in a silent order to remain quiet.
Hermione didn't know if the intensity of her heartbeat was due to the unexpected alert, or the fact that, from where she was standing, she could even perceive the warmth emanating from his body, and his characteristic scent, a mixture of clean robes, old books, rich sweet fumes and something else… something uniquely his that she couldn't identify, but that made her feel comforted and excited at once, like a hot cup of strong black coffee. His finger was still on her lips, and though it barely touched them, she could hardly breathe… as every tiny movement of her mouth to do so resulted in her lips caressing his skin.
But then, something stole all her attention away. Someone had entered Snape's office. She listened carefully, wondering who they might be. Had the Death Eaters returned to finish what they started? No, that was absurd. There's no way the could enter Hogwarts unnoticed… right? But then, who could it be, for Professor Snape to react that way, as if they were in serious danger?
As her eyes adapted to the minimum amount of light that came from up the stairs, she was able to discern the contour of Snape's face. He was leaning towards the door to hear better. She imitated him, and once he was sure that she wouldn't move or say a word, his hand finally lowered again. The absence of his touch on her lips was strangely painful, but she ignored it, focusing on the footsteps on the other side of the wall. There was a quiet bubbling sound. The potion, she thought, biting her lip. Were they stealing it? That would delay the whole plan at least another full day!
Apparently, it had been what the intruders were looking for, given that a few seconds later, they heard the office door closing, and complete silence was restored.
Snape raised his palm, indicating her to wait for a moment. Then, very slowly, he looked through a narrow opening of the door. He exhaled, relaxing, and opened the door fully, the light from the torches and the fireplace briefly dazzling her.
She followed him back into the office. "What happened? Who was that?" she asked him anxiously.
Without answering, Snape walked over to his desk where, to Hermione's surprise, the small cauldron was still where they'd left it. Only now it's color had changed to a soft purple that it wasn't meant to have. Snape touched the surface of the liquid with the tip of his wand, and though apparently nothing happened, he nodded slowly with a satisfied expression.
"We need to go up to the infirmary now." he informed her, grabbing three empty glass vials from the cabinet, filling one with purple potion and placing it with the others in his pocket.
"What is happening?" Hermione asked again, getting frustrated by his lack of answers, but Snape was already walking through the door.
"You will need to distract Madame Pomfrey." the Potions master indicated her once they arrived at the infirmary floor. He had told her to not say a single word as they rushed across the hallways, emphasizing the importance that no one heard them passing through, though Hermione suspected that it was just an excuse to keep her from asking questions, and that he was secretly enjoying keeping her in the dark a little longer. But given that he had miraculously agreed to her crazy plan, she figured she could adapt to his terms for a while, as frustrating as they were.
"How will I know when the coast is clear?"
"You'll know." Snape said enigmatically. "Just make sure she stays inside her office until then." With that instruction, he firmly pushed her back through the infirmary doors, before Hermione could prepare herself.
"Miss Granger, dear." Madame Pomfrey greeted her in a whisper, moving away from a bed where a younger Gryffindor was apparently asleep. "He accidentally took one of Weasley's puking candy." the mediwitch explained with a condescending smile. "He'll be good as new in the morning."
"Good."Hermione nodded, while desperately trying to come up with something to talk about.
"Did you forget something earlier, dear?" Madame Pomfrey inquired, surprised to see her again so soon.
"No, I… I just felt bad about the way I left. I just remembered I had a very important letter to send." Hermione said at last, lying confidently. "But then I thought that you might want some company… with all you're going through..."
"You're so thoughtful." Madame Pomfrey gave her a warm smile. "I suppose we could have a cup of tea, before I need to change Miss Silvermoon bandages again..."
"That'd be lovely." Hermione nodded encouragingly.
"Very well. Come this way." the mediwitch walked towards her office door at the other end of the long room.
Hermione followed her, turning around to see if Snape had already come in, but he was nowhere to be found.
Madame Pomfrey's office was neatly organized, but warm and cozy at the same time. Different shades of beige and warm earthly colors on the armchairs and the small couch to the left combined with the white coffee table and desk. The light from the candles was dim but comforting.
"So… I've been meaning to ask you." the mediwitch said, pouring them two cups of tea. "How did you three manage to survive a year on the run? I'm assuming it must not have been easy, and that you did not remain free of injuries the whole time..."
"We didn't." Hermione confirmed, and then she proceeded to narrate Ron's splintering when they had apparated back from the Ministry, Harry's snake bite in Godric's Hollow, and their multiple burns after their visit to Gringotts.
The woman listened with so much interest that she completely forgot to drink her tea, asking Hermione all sorts of questions about the methods she had used to treat said injuries.
"For Merlin's sake, dear!" she gasped when the young woman had answered each one of her inquires. "Have you considered going into medical training? You clearly have a gift for the healing arts! Mr Potter and Mr Weasley were very lucky to have you." she stated with admiration and pride.
"Thank you, ma'am." Hermione lowered her gaze with a timid smile.
In that moment, they heard a sharp cry of pain. Madame Pomfrey jumped off the couch, rushing towards the door.
"Wait!" Hermione begged. She had been so focused on her tale, she had forgotten that she was supposed to keep the mediwitch inside her office. But the woman was already rushing towards the empty bed where she supposed Selina Silvermoon was laying.
Indeed, the mediwitch walked across an invisible veil, and became also invisible herself. Hermione stood there unsure what to do, until she heard a soft hum and she saw Professor Snape gesturing at her from the door. She took one last look towards the warded bed, and guessing that Madame Pomfrey wouldn't notice her disappearance right now, she ran outside the infirmary.
"Was that the sign? What did you do to her?" Hermione asked, frowning with concern.
Once again, Snape didn't answer and instead, he guided her towards an empty classroom down the hall. The damage from the battle hadn't reached that part of the castle, but still there was a thin layer of dust on the chairs and desks from prolonged lack of use. The pale moonlight entering through the tall windows created columns of white luminescence in which tiny specks of that dust floated around suspended. It was completely quiet, so much that the sound reverberated as Snape locked the door behind them. Only then, he turned towards her and look her in the eye.
Hermione arched her eyebrows, awaiting an explanation.
"This" he said, getting one of the glass vials from the folds of his black robe "is a piece of Miss Silvermoon's skin."
"I thought you said we needed to collect it at the end." Hermione remarked, puzzled.
"I did, but then I realized that it would take two samples, one of the skin now, before being shed, and then another one once it's fallen off."
"So you cut out a piece of her scarce healthy skin?" Hermione asked, horrified.
"It needed to be done. We will add the shed, dead skin at the beginning of the potion, along with the elaboration… and then the healthy one at the end, therefore indicating the potion the correct order in which we want the time to affect her."
Hermione looked at the brightly red tiny piece of flesh in the vial. "Won't it get ruined if we need to wait a whole…Wait. Stasis charm?" she guessed.
"At last, you get it right, Miss Granger." Snape threw her a mocking smile.
She pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to smile back. "So… now we wait an hour?"
"A little less than an hour, yes. It already took a while to convince Miss Silvermoon that what I intended to do wouldn't just be an added torture to her agony. I wasn't sure how much longer you'd be able to keep Madame Pomfrey in there." Snape explained, throwing her an inquiring look.
"Well, I was telling her about the injuries we suffered this past year… and she got really caught up asking me questions about how I treated them." Hermione shrugged, secretly proud of her distracting skills.
Snape's eyes involuntarily lowered down to her left arm, where her glamour bracelet was once again dangling in her wrist. She noticed it and rubbed her concealed scar, uncomfortable. "So..." she began, trying to change the subject as she walked away from him, sitting on an empty desk "what was your other idea?"
"I beg your pardon?" Snape shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that had suddenly invaded his mind. Thoughts about her, wandering the country alone with those two dunderheads, having to suffer the consequences of their likely careless actions, and having to treat herself and them without any assistance, even when she had been wounded herself… Thoughts that once again, made him realize the unexpected resemblance both their paths shared.
"When I came into your office earlier. You mentioned something about not having the ingredients for Madame Pomfrey… Had you had another idea on how to treat Miss Silvermoon?" Hermione clarified, intrigued.
Snape looked away, clearly uncomfortable, and he absently walked around the empty dark room, finally taking a seat as well on a near desk.
"I had not." he finally replied in a low tone. Hermione didn't dare to ask him anything else, though she was eager to find out about the obvious information he was withholding. But, to her surprise, Professor Snape decided to share more on his own: "A few days ago, Poppy came to my office to beg for my help in ending Miss Silvermoon's suffering."
Hermione's eyes widened with disbelief, as she turned towards him to be able to look him better. "She did what? That's not right!"
"Miss Granger…" he said very slowly, as if what he was about to add was obvious to anyone except her. "The fact that the wards have protected your sensitive eyes from witnessing the severity of Miss Silvermoon's condition shouldn't infuse you with the confidence to assert such moral judgment on a desperate professional."
Hermione rolled her eyes with a sigh of exasperation. "I know that, Sir! That's not what I meant. Of course I can understand that Madame Pomfrey would consider that option given the circumstances… I meant that it is not right that she asked you to do it for her."
"And why exactly is that so?" Snape inquired, narrowing his eyes in a suspecting tone. "Do you maybe consider that she should have come to you, her newly acquired helper, instead?"
Hermione clicked her tongue, and letting out a grunt of frustration, she got up from the desk and walked right towards him. "No, Sir." she emphasized the last word with an annoyed tone. "On the contrary of what you seem to assume about me, I'm not always centered on myself." she pointed out, crossing her arms in front of him and giving him a defiant glance. "In this case, I was actually thinking that it is unfair for everyone to assume that you won't mind doing their unpleasant tasks, as if your past justified whatever they require from you at any given moment."
Snape's eyes darkened under her scrutiny. As much as he tried to hold his inner walls intact, his heart began protesting loudly inside his chest, begging to be heard. How was it possible that this young woman had arrived to the exact same conclusion as him? How did she manage to read his soul and deeper feelings so well, without him even saying a word? And, above all, why did she seem to care so much? She doesn't, you idiot, remember? His cruel inner voice intervened just in time, reminding him of the last time she had tried to comfort him.
"Please, Miss Granger, do both of us a favor and spare me your pity. We both know where that leads." he pointed out coldly, tightening his lips.
Hermione frowned, baffled for a second, until she understood what he was referring to. "Pity? Do you think I pity you?" she exclaimed with disbelief. "And you think that's why I…" she was unable to finish her sentence due to a sudden wave of heated embarrassment, but she didn't need to.
She felt Snape's eyes piercing her forehead as she kept her gaze low, lacking the courage to look at him. She closed her eyes and took a deep, slow calming breath, and then, gathering her strength she raised her eyes. "I don't pity you, Sir. I admire you." she clarified. "Of course I'm sorry you've been through so much, but I think that only proves how brave and loyal you are… which is why I find it so unfair that other people fail to see you as anything else than a former Death Eater." she said, fearing she had gone too far with her honesty.
Snape was having trouble breathing. He could feel his throat pulsating with an exasperating urge to release all the emotion he was strongly repressing. Hearing her call him brilliant earlier had been pleasant, but not surprising. That was probably the only quality he possessed, that everyone who knew him could identify. But listening to her describing him with such intense words, way beyond his intellect into his deeper motivations as a human being… He was feeling naked and exposed and he hated it. And yet… there was nothing he wished more than for her to keep talking.
"So…" he said, trying to sound as his usual sneering self "you expect me to believe that your inappropriate behavior last month was because your admiration and interest have suddenly shifted away from moronic quidditch heroes?" he asked, contempt dripping from his voice.
"Ron is not moroni…!" Hermione began to defend her friend, when she saw Snape's sudden change of expression and she understood everything. "Oh." she bit her tongue, her cheeks burning up again. She had failed to realize that no one, besides Harry, and of course, not Professor Snape, knew anything about her passionate outburst during the battle with Ronald. However, everyone, including Professor Snape, had seen her dancing the night away at the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum. That's who Snape was referring to, obviously. But she understood that too late.
"So there's two of them, hence proving my point." Snape affirmed with a dark, satisfied tone. However, the bitter taste of his voice gave him away, and Hermione realized with perplexity, that he seemed jealous.
"There's none of them, Sir. Not that it is any of your business, frankly." she replied, blushing even more furiously. "But you're diverting! Why is it so hard for you to believe that I'm being honest with you?"
"Forgive me if I'm skeptic about the chances of anyone appreciating the qualities of a greasy, dungeon bat." he said with a meaningful tone, clearly implying that he indeed was aware of the names they all called him to his back.
Every time Hermione thought she had arrived at the highest peak of shame possible, he managed to prove her wrong. Of course he had heard them talking, he was a spy after all! She tried to recall if she had actually ever used those terms, but though she was pretty sure she had remained respectful at all times, she wouldn't bet on it given how many times Snape had acted like a git, igniting their collective anger.
"I think bats are simply misunderstood." she said after a long pause.
Snape raised an eyebrow with skepticism.
"You see, they don't truly belong anywhere, do they?" Hermione continued, turning her back at him so she could look through the window glass into the dark night. "Biologically, they are mammals… but they are unique in their kind, because they are the only ones that can fly… So one would think they are birds, or even reptiles because of their membrane wings… but there is warm blood in their veins."
"And this biology class would…?" Snape began, but she continued as if she couldn't hear him.
"They belong to both worlds and to neither at the same time. I bet they are lonely… though it doesn't seem to bother them. They look for quiet places where no one would disturb their peace… and they are also real quiet themselves, you can never hear them flapping their wings or coming near you." She said that last sentence with a meaningful, almost amused tone. "They are creatures of the night, so they have been considered evil for centuries. But truth is, they rid us of insects that are the actual causes of disease. No one appreciates that or thanks them, though. At best, we value them for the use we can give to them, as potion ingredients… not quite the same thing, is it?"
Snape's heart began to accelerate again, against his own rational wishes. Her words were like the most powerful spell, sinking into the deepest unseen parts of his being, threatening to nest there and claim his soul. He needed her to shut up, or else, he would lose control.
"They are almost blind." Hermione turned around to look at him "but they can read into the darkness with their sonar system, better than anyone. Their perception and intuition about their surroundings is almost magical. And again, no one can hear their voice, for it is different than any other, so only another one like them could truly hear. So they get misunderstood."
"Why doesn't it surprise me that apparently you have also read and memorized every muggle book on animal characteristics?" he threw a desperate counterattack to make it stop.
"Actually Sir, I got all of this from a book on indigenous magic. In the old times, humans considered animals to be magical creatures, symbols for the unknown. The bat in particular was a symbol of death and resurrection." Snape's eyes widened involuntarily. "So taking all into consideration… maybe being compared to them doesn't necessarily have to be such a bad thing." she concluded, throwing him a smug smile, proud of her flawless reasoning.
He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't fight it. His famished heart was screaming inside his ribs, and there was no inner voice loud enough to cover its sound. No amount of rational reasoning could justify Hermione's speech trying to make him feel better about himself. There was no gain in it for her. She was truly doing it out of kindness, out of her wish to comfort him, out of real consideration for him. And that meant that she was being honest; she cared about him.
However, if he allowed that truth to sink in, he knew it would overpower his will. It would unleash the feelings that he had fought so hard to banish from his heart, and what was worse… it would form a new attachment towards life. That would complicate his whole plan of finding out the truth about his experience, and being able to undo it. And he didn't have the strength to give that up. As if to confirm his words, a sudden current of cold overcame him, and his knees began to weaken.
"Sir?" he heard Hermione's distant voice, his whole focus on the sharp sting on his neck. He took his hand to the scar, that felt suddenly swollen and pulsating, hot and painful. It had been weeks since he had felt the slightest pain there. What was going on?
He couldn't let her find out about his weakness, so he turned around towards the door. "I think it's time to collect the second bit of skin, Miss Granger. Do you think you'll be able to keep Madame Pomfrey again?"
"I will." she said at his back, where he couldn't see her frowning with concern. "Though, wouldn't it be easier to let her know what we're doing?"
"Have you forgotten who is to pay the consequences if someone finds out about the time-turner?" Snape scolded her harshly, as they walked back to the infirmary.
"Right. Sorry. I will keep her." Hermione said, entering first as they had done the previous time.
Severus waited until their voices sounded muffled behind Madame Pomfrey's office door and he entered the quiet infirmary. He walked through the invisible wards, revealing Miss Silvermoon's presence on the bed. Though she was covered in wet bandages, her whole body was trembling with pain.
"I thought you were coming back in an hour." she protested with a scratchy voice.
"So I have." Snape replied.
"Has it just been an hour?" Miss Silvermoon asked with a desperation moan.
"Hopefully your pain level will decrease soon." Snape informed her, while gently taking her wrist to collect the second bit, that came off easily since it was already dry. The curse was truly accelerating by the hour.
"You promise?" she said with tears in her eyes.
"I can't make any promises." Snape replied calmly.
"Then promise me this. If it doesn't work, you will put an end to this. You were with Voldemort. Your friends did this to me. Your friends took my family. You owe me." she said with a bitter, hateful tone.
Snape fought the urge to reply, well aware of the girls suffering. Instead, he placed her wrist back on the bed, and he simply said: "If all goes well, I'll be back soon with the potion."
He turned around to leave, and leaned his back against the hallway wall as he waited for Hermione to be back too. For a second, after hearing Miss Granger's kind words, he had forgotten how it felt to be so harshly despised. But of course, life had made sure soon enough that he kept in mind he would never leave his past behind. He couldn't be so foolish as to hope for redemption at this point. All he could wish for was to find his answers soon, so he could finally rest in peace once and for all.