Author's Note/Warning- So... This chapter contains smut. It's nothing too intense so I don't feel the need to put a specific warning of what to expect, but I figured I'd give a general one for you guys. This chapter kinda took a long time to write because despite the amount of smut I read and Yagami Yato I listen to, I'm not good at writing it... Sorry about that whoops.
If you're not interested in reading the smut, this chapter does still have a bit of plot. About halfway through is when things start to get a little spicy and you can see the shift. Your regularly scheduled angsty plot will return next chapter!
Alright that's it from me I'm going to fade into the ether now!
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It's fine, Espionage repeated to herself for the millionth time.
She was currently laying flat on her bed, staring up with the ceiling as she clutched one of her pillows tight against her chest. Her nails dug into it so hard that her hands were shaking slightly.
He doesn't know. Hawks will be okay. Kobayashi doesn't know.
It's been her mantra for the past hour. Her heart skittered in her chest. Her breathing fast and shaky. Her mind was swimming in thoughts she couldn't stop. Memories. Hawks and her. Toya. The children, her friends, disappearing one by one. Kobayashi's eyes looking down at her. Thoughts of the Liberation. The mission. She still had so much to do. She needed to get it done. Needed to be faster. How could she be as fast as Hawks? She wasn't good enough. But she needed to be. Needed to protect him. Needed to protect Japan. But the Liberation is too large. They're going to need a miracle to stop them. She can't do anything about that. No, she has to do something. She will do something. She has to keep pushing the boundaries and disobeying the orders the Commission gives her. No, she can't do that forever. Kobayashi will know. He already knows about her and Hawks. No, he doesn't. He can't. There's no way. She couldn't think about that now. What's up with Dabi? Where is that weird doctor they keep talking about? Who even is he? What are they doing to Shigaraki? Will they be able to stop them? She has to do something. No, she has to follow orders. No, that'll lead to disaster. But disobeying the Commission is suicide. But her sacrifice would be worth it right?
A knock on the glass of the door of her balcony silenced the marathon of racing thoughts in Espionage's head and made her breath stop in her chest. She blinked a few times before her head turned to see Hawks, his figure glowing in the orange light of the setting sun. She was slow to get up to unlock the door because her body felt weirdly tingly. Every step she took was strange, like she wasn't in full control of herself. She was on autopilot. Numb. No, not numb. She's been completely numb before and it wasn't like this. She was just mentally exhausted. Filled to the brim with thoughts and feelings she didn't know how to express.
Hawks's lips turned downward as soon as she unlatched the locks and slid the door open. Lines of concern etched into his forehead as he gazed down at her. Espionage hated it. Hated being the one to make him worry. Hated being so weak. But at least her weakness didn't break his stride.
"Hello my beautiful dove. I've missed you so much. Did you miss me too?" he sang. Despite the teasing tone, he very slowly reached out and grabbed her hands, gently stroking her knuckles with his leather gloved thumbs.
Espionage heard her own disguised voice come out of her mouth like she was underwater. The words formed so naturally that she didn't even think about the act she was putting up.
"I enjoyed the quiet."
"Oh, don't be like that," he pouted.
He turned her hands up so they faced the ceiling. A single feather floated from his brilliant wings and landed gracefully in her now outstretched palms. Instinctively, her fingers closed around it, the soft plume caressing her calluses in such a familiar way that it started to pull her ever so slightly from her darkened headspace.
"Fine, maybe I did miss you a little, bird brain," she sighed. Espionage's eyes closed as she felt the air fill her lungs, the feeling of drowning subsiding and her heart slowing from its irregular pace, so that the world around her finally began to stop spinning.
"I knew it," Hawks chuckled, the sound somewhat dark despite the innocent way he leaned in to kiss her forehead. She let out her large intake of breath as he backed away. "What do you say about turning these microphones off so I can tell you everything I've thought about while I was away?"
"Why do I feel like you're not actually going to be telling me anything?" she asked.
She stayed frozen in place, her hands still gripping the feather and Hawks took it upon himself to summon both devices forward.
"You're right," he laughed. "It'll be so much more fun to show you what I've been thinking of."
The hero gripped the feathers with the small microphones on them in his hand, one of his eyebrows arching as if silently asking her if disabling them was a good idea. After a small nod that barely shook her curls, Hawks flicked the devices off himself and tossed them onto her dresser. When he spoke again, his tone was just as concerned as his facial expression showed him to be.
"Espie, what's wrong?"
Hawks's strong arms pulled her against his chest as she shook her head. "It's nothing."
"If it's nothing, you wouldn't be crying."
"I'm not crying."
She got gently pushed away as quickly as she was brought in so that she was staring straight into his golden eyes. They seemed to pierce through her soul, searching her for answers that she didn't want to give.
"Yes, you are, dove. Or you were. You can't lie like that when there's make up running down your face again," Hawks said, shaking his head as he looked her up and down again.
A hand went up to touch her cheeks and she felt a wetness on them she hadn't previously noticed. She rubbed beneath her eye, only for her fingertips to come down smeared in black.
"Funny, I didn't think I was crying," she laughed, although the sound was forced and hollow.
That only made more lines appear between Hawks's brows. "Please tell me what's wrong."
The way his voice dripped with concern made Espionage feel like shattering to pieces. If anyone deserved this kind of care in the world, she knew it certainly wasn't her, but she also knew Hawks wasn't going to let her get away from this. While he might let go of forcing an explanation out of her, there was no stopping the doting he was bound to do for the rest of the night.
"In...in a moment," Espionage muttered. "Let me wash my face so I look less ridiculous first."
"You could never look ridiculous," he gently said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Need me to get you anything?"
"No, just stay here. Give me a minute."
Espionage let go of the feather in her hands, allowing it to telekinetically move back to Hawks's wing as she walked into the bathroom. The door clicked behind her and she held her breath as she looked into the mirror. Similar to when she fell asleep in Hawks's arms, she looked as rough as she felt. Her blue eyes were bloodshot and her face pale. The tears she didn't know she shed were blatantly obvious. A trail of gray streaked down from each eye, the bottoms of each slightly raccooned. It didn't look like she was sobbing uncontrollably, more like the salty tears escaped her naturally as she blinked while staring into the void. She grabbed a towel and turned on the faucet, running the water that was almost freezing due to the wintry weather outside over the cloth before rubbing her face. A chill travelled down her body as the liquid further woke her from her dazed state.
When all the makeup was removed, she took a moment to stare at herself as she continued to breathe. Slowly in through her nose, holding it, and letting it back out of her mouth. She wasn't sure how long she stood there trying to calm down. It could've been thirty seconds, it could've been thirty minutes, but either way she knew she needed to get a hold of herself. If she was finally going to protect Hawks instead of him protecting her, she couldn't keep breaking down like this.
Espionage opened the door while she ran a hand through her orange hair to see the winged hero sitting at the edge of her bed. His elbows were propped up on his knees with his hands clenched together, his large scarlet wings pulled in close to his back. His head lifted at the sound of her coming in, immediately standing and moving toward her to wrap her in his arms once again. His chest felt warm against her cold skin and the small kiss he placed at the top of her head made her heart swell.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," she hummed, her hands wrapping around his stomach to pull him tighter.
"I don't believe that," he muttered against her hair.
"Okay is a relative term, Icarus, so it still applies."
"I know, but-" Hawks rubbed her back with his thumbs "-I didn't expect to come home to that. I was expecting something a little more heartwarming."
"What? Expecting a welcome like those videos of people coming back from long overseas trips?" she laughed in spite of herself.
"Maybe," Hawks pouted. "I'd much prefer you crying because you missed me instead of whatever you were crying about now. Plus, I think we'd be a total hit on the internet."
Espionage let go of him and rolled her eyes. "Half of the internet would love us, half would hate us, and the Commission would put us on a hit list so quick that the only thing that could keep up with them is your feathers."
"Bold of you to assume they're as fast as I am." Hawks gently cupped her face with his hands so that she was forced to look nowhere but at him. "Please, Lyla, tell me what happened."
"I'm overthinking things, as usual," she answered. When Espionage only got a raised eyebrow in response, she tried to redirect the conversation. "I got some information from Dabi."
"You what now?" Hawks asked, recoiling slightly from the shock of her statement.
She nodded as she grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands off her cheeks. "He thought it would annoy you if he walked me home the other night and I took advantage of the situation."
Hawks's sharp eyes narrowed at the thought. "Well he's not wrong. But at least he made your job a lot easier."
"That was the only good thing. Everything else got more complicated from there. He said something weird about you and the Commission, but kept it vague. I never got time to ask for specifics because we were interrupted, but I did get him to say that Shigaraki is located at Jaku General Hospital."
"Jaku?" Hawks mused, his attention shifting downward as he thought. "Isn't that a fairly large company? They have several campuses all over Japan."
"Exactly. So, we've narrowed down the list to approximately seven locations. But we still need to find which," she confirmed.
Hawks hummed. "I'll take seven specific locations over the whole damn country."
"I was doing some research on it before I left today. I kind of got… distracted on the way home."
"Distracted by a panic attack?" he suggested, bringing them back to the original topic.
"No, it wasn't-" Espionage started, but the serious look in the hero's gaze kept her from saying anything else.
He let a heavy breath out as he held her hands tight. "I know what panic attacks look like, dove. I've seen people I rescued have them; I've seen you have them. You can't deny what it was."
"Fine, I was panicking," she admitted. Coming to terms with it helped the fog in her mind, but it made her ribs feel like they were made of lead.
"The Commission again?" She nodded. His hands tightened around hers in a grip that was almost painful, but she didn't flinch. "What do they want now?"
"I think Kobayashi knows that we- that I… I…" She swallowed hard before continuing. "He tested a theory today. I was told to force that Slice woman into remembering something she either forgot or maybe never knew in the first place. I'm not sure if he was satisfied or not with the reassurance that I couldn't do it, but- "
Hawks interrupted her by kissing her forcefully on the lips. Her eyes widened momentarily as the shadowy feeling that was creeping over her once again was chased away by the heat of his embrace. The sparks that he created within her spread to her every nerve end.
When he pulled away, the anxiety crashed into her again like a wave, this time harder than before. She finally felt the tears welling up behind her eyes. Hawks's eyebrows pinched together at the expression she now held on her face.
"Please stop worrying, dove," he whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers.
"I-I can't," Espionage responded. She felt like a glass that was filled to the very brim, trying so hard to keep herself from spilling. Trying, and failing. "I can't stop. I'm so afraid of them. What if you get hurt again? What if- "
Another kiss silenced her voice and the thoughts that once again started to cause a train wreck in her mind. This one lasted longer than the first. His lips danced against hers as his hands moved to her hips, pulling the lower half of her body even closer to his. She moved on instinct, wrapping her hands tightly around the back of his neck so that she could feel more of his weight against her. She could've easily stayed like that forever, but he pulled away yet again.
Espionage blinked as he looked at her. The honey color of his eyes darkened, the sweetness in them replaced by something more hungry.
"How can I help?" he asked as a smirk grew on his lips. "Tell me exactly what you want."
The breath got caught in her lungs as he rubbed small circles into her hip bones with his thumb. Her eyes glanced around her room to avoid the pressure of his gaze. Along with the feathers with microphones still attached laying on her dresser, various articles of his were on the floor. His boots, jacket, gloves, headphones, and goggles lay in a messy pile. Her focus drifted as she thought about how long she was in the bathroom for him to want to start getting comfortable like that. Although knowing him, he probably shed all that extra stuff after only a minute.
A quick squeeze on her hips brought Espionage's attention back, her blue eyes now looking down at the way his shirt fit the muscles on his arms and chest in a way that made her heart flutter. His eyes looked at her expectantly. Teasingly. She wanted him to tease her more. No, she needed it. Needed it for so many reasons.
Espionage tore her eyes from his as she responded, her focus laying on his cheek bones. "I don't want to think about them anymore. I just want to think about you."
"Damn," he chuckled. "I was really hoping you'd suggest that to me."
"Why?" she asked, an eyebrow quirking upward in confusion.
Hawks laughed again as his hands slid behind her thighs, gracefully picking her up so her legs now straddled his waist. "I'm not gonna lie to you, dove, the thought of being commanded with no way of saying no can be pretty sexy sometimes. But I'll let you off easy this time, because I don't need your quirk to want to do this."
Espionage's back was pressed against the wall as she remained suspended above the floor. Her ankles locked around him, her arms entangling themselves even more behind his neck. His assault on her lips started again, but very quickly moved to her jawline then down further to her neck. She gasped as his teeth grazed her skin, biting on a spot before sloppily kissing it.
Every single action he made set her body and soul on fire. With every touch the world slowed around her, gradually making it so it revolved around him. Around them. Just like she asked, Espionage's mind quickly became filled with nothing but Hawks. And he felt the same way about her.
Feathers left his wings and flew beneath her, keeping her easily lifted as he brought her body away from the wall, his hands traveling under her shirt to caress her sides. The feel of his hands against her bare skin was maddening. Better than anything she's ever dreamed of. The heavenly feeling continued as his fingertips dragged further and further up her body, pulling her shirt up with it. His breath against the skin of her neck made her shiver as he chuckled at her compliance. The feathers left her and she fell back onto the soft mattress of her bed. Her eyes widened as Hawks admired her, an cocky look in his own. After a moment, he pulled at his own shirt, the thin adhesive that kept the fabric together below the base of his wings easily detaching so he could take the article off and toss it to the ground with the rest of his things. The sight of him shirtless in front of her made Espionage's mouth go dry.
Hawks laughed again. "Last chance to give me a suggestion, dove. If you don't do it now, there's nothing stopping me from doing exactly what I want with you."
Espionage smirked, a strange sense of confidence surging through her. "Please do."
"Fuck, Lyla," Hawks groaned. "You can't just say shit like that without expecting consequences."
With that he moved on top of her, his legs straddling her waist so that she was stuck where she fell onto the mattress. He kissed her again as he slid her shirt over her head. Her fingers traced the muscles of his chest as he moved, feeling the strength within them after so many years of training. She gasped when his hands moved to play with her breasts, her heart racing from his teases even through her bra.
"Geez, you're so sensitive," Hawks cooed as he licked his lips. "Have you been saving yourself for me this whole time?"
"Mentally." The hero's eyes narrowed in dissatisfaction as he pulled away from her. Espionage rolled her eyes. "What? You know what the Commission trained me to do. Do you honestly think they'd give me an IUD and then not tell me to- shit," she hissed as he pinched one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. "You have no room to talk with your reputation, Keigo."
Hawks's gaze softened as he laughed. "But you know how reputations go, dove. I don't actually have to be a playboy for the media to think I am. Besides, I can assure you that all the people I've slept with were also Commission approved."
"I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse," she said. Her hands moved around his sides so she could gently stroke his feathers, smiling when she finally made his breath catch.
"Well at least now we're both even," Hawks sighed. He leaned back into her and planted a heavy kiss on her sternum. "Not like all that matters anyway. All that matters is me and you."
There was a feral tone to his voice that sent Espionage onto the edge of desperation. She needed him. More of him. Nothing but Hawks. And he needed nothing but her.
After a few swift movements and adjusting, the two were completely undressed, clothes scattered across the room. Hawks was once again sitting above her as she laid strewn across her bed, his top teeth biting his lower lip as his golden eyes raked across her body.
"Holy shit," he groaned in a husky voice that made her stomach do backflips. "Lyla, you're so damn beautiful. So damn smart. So damn perfect."
The praises he continued to sing to her as he moved to kiss and touch every part of her body sent her heart from its thundering pace to a fluttery mess. She responded in kind, her own voice just barely above a whisper as she complimented him and reassured him of all the love she held for him. Her focus on her words faltered as his lips gradually traveled down to her hips, her inner thighs, moving painstakingly slow to her center. It was starting to drive her crazy. Staying still as he worshipped her became harder by the second. When he finally placed a soft kiss on her clit, she gasped in a way that made him snicker.
"And the best part about you," he said as his hands snaked beneath and around her thighs so that they were now resting on his biceps. "Is that you're all mine."
The feeling of his tongue exploring every part of her sensitive folds made her mind go blank. His strong arms kept her legs from moving too much as she squirmed with pleasure, but her own arms moved on instinct. They reached down, her fingers lacing between the strands of his wavy blonde hair, her nails scratching at his scalp so that he sucked in a shaky breath.
"Someone's getting greedy," Hawks teased, his warm breath against her skin making tingles travel down her spine.
Just as quickly as she reached down to hold him against her, a group of scarlet feathers moved to peel her off. The plumes pinned her wrists to the sides of her head, providing a surprising amount of pressure against the pillow to keep her from moving.
Espionage moaned as she struggled. "Fuck, Keigo."
"What?" he said through a dark laugh. "I wanna take my time with you. So, you're just going to have to be patient."
The movements of his tongue and lips sent her writhing, pushing against the strangely strong clusters of feathers to no avail. The sounds that escaped her seemed to send Hawks into even more of a frenzy. Another one of his feathers flew off his wings and started tracing her body so lightly that she could just barely feel it. All the sensations she felt at one time made her brain short circuit. She couldn't focus on any one particular thing over the other. It was all blending together in a passionate, crazy mess.
"Shit, shit," Espionage hissed as she felt herself teetering on the edge. But just as quickly as Hawks started his assault on her, he stopped.
With how her mind was spinning, it took her a moment to realize that things had come to a screeching halt. She blinked dumbfoundedly as she looked down, her mouth going dry from her hard breaths and the way he was licking his lips while staring at her. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing, but no words came out. The expression she had made Hawks smirk and he answered her like he could read her mind.
"What? Did you think I was going to let you have all the fun by yourself?" he chuckled.
All the feathers returned to his back as he climbed on top of her again. His bare chest brushed against hers, his surprisingly softer fingers laced themselves between her calloused ones, his lips met her own in a deep kiss.
"I want you to wait for me to cum with you. Think you can do that?" he whispered, his mouth brushing against her ear as he spoke. Espionage couldn't find her voice at that moment, so she gave a small nod. "Good girl."
Hawks cursed as he very slowly entered her. While his denial made Espionage come down from her high slightly, it didn't take her long to build up to that point again as Hawks began to settle into a steady pace. His crimson wings made small, reflexive flaps as he moved, forcing cold air to hit both of their skin. She bit her tongue and clenched her fingers around his knuckles in an attempt to hold herself back. But it was so hard to do when he was hitting her walls so deliciously.
"Fuck, Lyla, I love hearing you," he muttered, his own voice shaking and barely audible over the sounds of her moans and their hips coming together. "I love hearing you sing for me, my beautiful dove. Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Hawks's wings flexed at the same time that Espionage saw stars dance across her vision. His nails gripped into the pillow behind her, pulling at the fabric that covered it while squeezing her hands tight. After a few moments of bliss, he fell on top of her, his head between her breasts and his wings draped lazily to both sides of their bodies. She breathed hard, but kissed the top of his head as feeling came back to her limbs. Her hands moved from caressing his hair in a wordless show of affection, the gentle touches moving to his shoulders, then once again to the base of his wings. Hawks hummed at the action.
"Damn, baby bird," he sighed. "You can't touch me like that so soon. You know the wings are sensitive. At least let me have a second to recoup before we go for a round two."
Espionage snickered. "I thought you were the fastest man on Earth?"
Hawks looked up, his ear still against her chest as his golden eyes narrowed at her. "Is that a challenge?"
"Yes. But out of love, of course."
"Then I accept, also out of love. Hold on tight, dove. And remember you asked for this."