[][Andrew][]
Silence.
Cold, bitter silence, stretched beyond breaking in air stale with soured memories.
"We were good friends, or-" I caught myself, stopping to let out a stuttering breath. The tension in my chest grew, each vibration a cold tremor straining against my will. Even Nowi's physical presence, in such proximity to my own, was barely more than a dream to my heart.
I wanted this to end. I wanted this to- to go away. My voice trembled, bleeding from forgotten wounds. "-I thought we were friends, Anna."
Anna looked at me with faded ruby eyes, her face a stony mask. Her lips parted, just for a moment, only for her to bite her lip and look away.
That was answer enough for me, and probably the best one I'd get. I turned towards the fudge again, stirring it with more force than was really needed. "I guess not."
Nowi shifted on my shoulders, hands fidgeting with my hair. "When will the fudge be done, Andrew? I'm bored. And hungry."
"Fudge isn't a proper meal, Nowi," I admonished, fighting to keep my voice stable, "Remember what Maribelle said, alright? Once you've had a proper meal, with meat and vegetables-"
"Bleh," Nowi groaned, "I'm a dragon! Why do I need to eat boring plants and stuff?"
Because dragons are apparently omnivores, and need all sorts of nutrition, at least according to Tiki. But Nowi knew all that. "Because Tiki said so," I said instead, "And if you're bored, you can go play a game with... Gregor, maybe? Nothing too physical, his arm is broken."
Nowi hummed, drumming her fingers on my scalp. I couldn't tell if it made me more or less anxious- it was like a raindrop in a stormy sea. "Sure!" she said finally, her cheer echoing off the walls, "But you're gonna tell me when the fudge is done, riiight?"
I smiled, gritting my teeth. "Of course I will, Nowi. I'll kneel down now so you can get off."
Old injuries made themselves known as Nowi clambered off of me, tiny needling aches that would follow me for months at the least. Before she stepped away, she grasped my hand, squeezing it gently.
Of course she knew. I didn't blame her for running away- it's what I wanted to do, even now.
"Excuse me," Nowi said quietly, brushing Anna aside on her way out the door. Anna hastily acquiesced, stepping to the side with familiar grace.
It closed again with a heavy, bone-aching thud.
And the silence returned, a murky fog that stole every spark of warmth it could.
I kept stirring the fudge.
{}{}{Anna}{}{}
Back in Valm, I'd go days without speaking a word. Nature didn't talk, and bandits weren't worth talking to except as a distraction. I was used to- nah, I preferred silence. Just me, my money, and my books, alone and content.
Standing here, watching Andrew carry about his business, was not a good kind of silence. It was like watching a kettle with the holes covered, waiting for it to explode and scald everyone nearby. I hated it.
Two hundred and fifty...
Two hundred and fifty gold. Enough to make some big purchases, more than plenty to get the ball rolling on some more lucrative business opportunities. None with the Shepherds, obviously. Heroics don't sell and they certainly don't pay enough for me to risk death by Tiki.
Speaking of- I just needed to wait it out here, let Andrew talk Tiki down, and leave. I could do that. Easier than stealing candy from a baby, though I'd never tried that. I had standards.
...right?
Andrew hissed, and my heart exploded into action like a coil wound too tight. My whole body tensed up as I turned to look at him, and- no, he'd just burned himself on the side of the pot. He was trying to pour the liquid fudge (which smelled delicious, by the way) into a large metal tray, and wasn't having a good time of it. The burn on his wrist didn't look too bad, but those oven mitts looked way too short for what he was doing.
I let out a sigh of relief, putting on my best smile and rolling my neck. "Need a hand there, Andrew?"
I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth. He'd say no, obviously. Make some pointless jab about my 'betrayal' before burning his hand again.
He looked up at me, lips set in a thin line. "Two, actually," he grunted, "There's another pair of oven mitts over there, Sumia left them last night. I think she wants to mount your head on a pike, so don't tell her that you used them."
Great, so it wasn't just Tiki who wanted me extremely dead. That window out there looks big enough for me to fit through, and I'd climbed up and down fortress walls before. Or I could peek outside the door and make a run for it-
"Do you want to hold the pot, or should I do it?" I said instead, walking over to the mitts, "I have pretty steady hands, but you have more leverage."
()()Tiki()()
I am not so bestial as to forget my promises- I am a Divine Dragon, not some creature of animal instinct. Thus I chose not to hunt, and I was not taking the mantle of hunter.
That would imply Anna was prey. And, at the insistence of Andrew and more modern sensibilities, Anna is not prey to be hunted. Yet still, the just animal inside of me demanded she be punished, that I see her broken and reduced to tears before me. Cathartic penance, if you will.
Knowing full well he would not mete out the punishment I envisioned, I chased my not-prey towards him, for it was he who would judge her. To see Nowi scurry away, caught between hunger and feigned disinterest, gave me several expectations for what I would see inside.
...I gave them a few moments first, though. At the very least, I hoped Anna would have moved away from any windows.
What would I see? A shouting match? A quiet duel of morality? Tears?
No.
No, I saw them making fudge.
"Can you tilt it a little more? It'll be easier if the fudge actually wants to come out." Anna twisted, her side awkwardly pressing into Andrew as she sought to scrape the sugary, chocolate-laden substance out of the heavy pot.
Andrew sidled back, shifting his grip and grimacing as a light burn on his wrist twisted. "There. Does that work?"
"Perfect," Anna nodded, clicking her tongue on the t. Inhaling sharply, she smiled. "Mmm. Mind if I take a piece for the road? Maybe copy the recipe?"
It was entirely possible for me to incinerate her from here, I mused. Just a touch of divine fire would do the trick, and one less selfish person would walk this land.
Andrew levelled an unamused glare at me, shaking his head ever so slightly. "This is an alteration of Sumia's recipe- she used too much milk, in my opinion. I- hm. Do you have something to write with and on that I can borrow?"
Anna set a hand to her hip, tapping her chin with one finger. "Well, I have my ledger, but do I have my journal? Let me check." She turned around, fiddling with the satchel at her side. "Well, I-"
Her eyes flickered, moving from the satchel to my boots. My grin was perhaps more fanged than I would usually prefer, and it was what she saw when her eyes met mine.
"Andrew?" she said quietly, taking a half step towards the window, "How long has she-"
"Not long," Andrew cut in, his eyes trained on me, "And she means no harm. Right, Tiki?"
He seemed quite firm on this 'not killing Anna' debacle. I spread my hands in a shrug, widening my smile a bit further. "Unfortunately."
Anna winced, glancing towards the window. "Right. Completely understandable. Tell you what-"
More platitudes and excuses. Of course, what else would I expect from a woman of such flimsy integrity?
"That Deadlord broke his leg, Anna," I interrupted, waving her words aside. "And neither of us would be alive, had I not encountered Prince Chrom before engaging the Deadlord."
Anna's shoulders drooped, hands clenching as she moved to the side- now she could see both of us without turning physically. Her expression hardened, jaw set and lips tight. "...stop it, Naga damn it."
Andrew glanced around the room, resting one hand on a nearby table. The knob on his throat bobbed as he swallowed, voice choked out by stuttering breaths. "Stop what, Anna?" He looked to me, eyes trembling, knuckles bone-white against the table.
She jerked her chin upwards, baring her neck at us. "Stop... stop toying with me, okay? Don't lecture me on- on morality, or that hero junk. I'm the villain, I get it. You're heroes, aren't you? So... do it. Hit me, stab me, so I- so we can get this over with."
I could respect her integrity in that moment, dark and morbid as it was. And I was sorely tempted to take her up on the offer- but it was Andrew's right to lay the first blow. He had bled for her betrayal, and I had not.
The room lapsed into a dead silence, punctuated only by the gentle sound of Andrew's steps.
[][Andrew][]
Anna looked up at me, taking a step back as her eyes flitted across the room- red eyes looking everywhere but into mine. Her hands flexed, and in the soft silence (hearts pumping, muted by the distant clatter of soldiers), I could even hear the sound her coat made as it crinkled beneath her fingers.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tiki cross her arms. Waiting.
"You left me to die, Anna," I murmured, "You could have told someone. You could have-" my breath caught, constricted as something hot and wet streaked down my cheeks.
Biting her lip, she looked off to the side again, nostrils flaring as she inhaled sharply- "You... shouldn't have been there," Anna said, words forced through her teeth like nails through a coffin, "I'm not a hero, Andrew."
Her face twisted further as I put a hand to my chin- something implacable oozed off her in waves, ringing like a bell to its twin in my heart.
"It's not fine, obviously," I said simply, "But I knew you were like this, I think. I shouldn't have relied on you." The words rolled off my tongue like needles, slicing open old wounds and making new ones.
Anna shook her head, meeting my gaze for a heartbeat before looking away. "No, no. Y-" she paused, taking a deep breath and looking back at the window. "No. I did the wrong thing, okay? Do something, Andrew." she bit her lip again, looking down at her shoes. "I almost killed you, Andrew."
Her hands clenched, nails digging into her palms with enough force to draw blood. As she spoke, her voice grew louder, more clipped, "You. Almost. Died, Andrew! I saw you, I knew you were in trouble, and- and I ran away, because I couldn't take it, and I'd do it again! You'd be dead because I'm not good enough, Andrew!"
"So the truth emerges," Tiki hummed, "More disappointing than I expected."
And the world lapsed back into that soft silence, punctuated by Anna's ragged breaths. Fury bit its way into my thoughts, a serpent with fangs of fiery venom for the mind. I could have done so much more, had I not been injured like that. How dare she, something hissed, how dare she tear our heart apart, how dare she-
"I-I'm not asking for you to forgive me," Anna said softly, shrinking away from my shadow, "I don't deserve that. I can't- I can't say I'm sorry, because I know I'd do it again." I flinched, the snake named Fury crumbling to cold ash in an instant. I looked away, taking a deep breath as I focused myself. Anger gave way to frigid shame, as cold and vast as it was deep and painful. So that's how it was, then. I knew her pain all too well.
"I forgive you, Anna," I said, feeling more than hearing the words. Anna recoiled as if struck, her shoulders slumping even as her head jerked up. Tiki hissed behind me, and I grimaced. More problems.
"No. Y-you can't," she murmured, "Why? I don't..."
"She doesn't deserve it at all," Tiki grumbled. "You're-"
I whirled around, heat blooming in my chest. "Shut up, Tiki!" I hissed, locking eyes with the manakete, "You're my friend, let me do the right thing."
Tiki worked her jaw, bowing her head. No doubt the shock would wear off, and I'd have to apologize to her. I felt bad about it, really, but it wasn't the time to worry for the future.
Wiping my eyes, I shook my head and offered a shaking hand to Anna. "I forgive you, Anna. Of course I forgive you. Even if my only real friend here wants to tear you apart," I bit out, the words coming from somewhere I couldn't find, "Of course I forgive you. Maybe you don't deserve it, and every fiber of my being is begging me to make you feel what I felt. This... this pain, it's," I paused, clenching a fist in front of my heart, "Something I don't know if I'll ever be rid of. And you know what?"
The room was silent- deathly, suffocatingly silent. It was for the best; a single word would have sent everything crashing down, now that the foundations were laid bare.
"I'm going to take that feeling, and hold it tight. Because I never want to be that person. I'm no hero, but-" gods, when did the air get so stale? I could barely breathe, let alone think. I let out a choked sob, wiping my eyes to keep the world from going watery. "Maybe I can try. And that means forgiving you, even if it hurts."
The quiet wrapped itself like a cloak around me, gentler now that my wounds had bled out. My hand, once more- one final time- reached out, palm up. "And... maybe you can forgive yourself, too."
A woman with red hair and watery-red eyes looked up at me, meeting my eyes- if only for a heartbeat. Slowly, agonizingly, she placed her hand in mine. "Maybe," she admitted, "But not now, Andrew."
"And that's alright," I lied softly, "That's alright."
{}{}{Anna}{}{}
He-
He shouldn't be allowed to do that. I didn't know if I felt better or worse, having said what I said.
Andrew's hand flexed, gripping mine tightly. A smile gleamed in his eyes, and before I knew what was happening his arms were around me. It was- warm. I felt something ease in my chest, like an emptiness was being filled.
I hugged back.
It was over as quickly as it started, but the memory stubbornly nestled itself among some of the bigger sales in my career. I watched quietly as Andrew brushed the blood off his hands- was that my blood? Were my palms bleeding? Sharp nails had their uses, but of course they'd work against me today. That's just how my day was going, after all.
"I can't apologize," I croaked, coughing to loosen my throat, "I already told you. I won't, because..."
I'd do it again.
Heroics aren't my style.
The 'right' thing gets me killed.
"Because I don't mean it. Not- not yet, at least." The words were forced, held at knifepoint and robbed at dawn. Words an Anna wouldn't say, not with those sales numbers ticking down.
Andrew looked me right in the eyes, brow furrowed and lips curled into a tenuous smile. "I'll hold you to it, Anna."
The emptiness- like an overturned wallet, like a fool's treasury, like a homestead burned to the ground- crept back in. But it didn't hurt as much, not anymore. "It's a deal, then," I said, letting a real grin creep its way onto my face.
The moment dragged on, and made a sharp turn into being awkward as Andrew had to start cutting up the fudge.
Tiki, of all people, managed to break it, tapping her foot on the stone loudly. "I suppose it would be my turn, then?"
Strike the awkward part. Now the moment was rounding off into the 'potentially deadly' territory, Andrew notwithstanding.
()()Tiki()()
Andrew hesitated, knife very nearly slicing into his left hand as he turned to look at me. His cheeks flushed a bright red, and it was quite easy to guess why.
"Sorry about, um, yelling at you," Andrew frowned, "Wait, no. I don't feel sorry, but I feel bad. But you-"
"You're digging yourself a hole here, Andrew," Anna rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Tiki deserved it."
Being asked to 'shut up' by a mouthy human of average heritage was a refreshing experience, but my pride demanded I say otherwise. Now that Anna had said it, pride demanded I eat her, so I carefully quieted my pride. "Perhaps," I acquiesced, bowing my head, "And I will assuage your worries- There will be no mauling, lacerating, impaling, or lasting injuries involved in my conversation with Anna."
Anna gritted her teeth, squirming nigh-imperceptibly. Oh, I had no designs on her beyond stern words and a warning, but she deserved a bit of discomfort. "Can I get that in writing?" She snarked, "Right next to the fudge recipes, which I'm absolutely getting."
I grinned, assuring it was quite a bit wider than was natural for a human. And, of course, pointier. "No."
Andrew, now done cutting the fudge, flipped it onto a tray and started stacking it into a sort of cone shape. "Tiki, please stop-"
"Nah, I deserve it," Anna cut in, waving Andrew off as she sauntered towards the fudge, "Might help me work out how to apologize properly, you know? This is new territory for me."
Oh, that devil of a woman. I raised an eyebrow at her, crossing my arms and allowing my smile to return to standard human width and pointiness. "Must you take the fun out of it, Anna? I am trying to make you feel guilty and, ideally, threatened."
"I am very guilty and threatened," Anna assured me, plucking a square of fudge off the tray, "I'm coping right now, can't you tell?"
It took me less than half a second to close in on her, and I savoured the shock spreading across her features. The sound my palm made as it collided with her cheek was even more satisfying.
Andrew winced, quite visibly deciding not to comment.
Anna managed to hold onto the fudge, the other hand shooting up to cover the red handprint. "Good Naga that hurt," she cursed, briefly breaking into numerous languages as she swore. "At least you didn't use claws this time."
I was furious at nor frustrated by her casual demeanor. "You deserved that," I said calmly, "That and so much more, for betraying my trust. But I will vouch against your arrest, should anyone seek to press the issue- so long as you do what I ask of you."
"She doesn't-" Andrew paused, "She's already trying, I can tell, Tiki."
Something shifted in Anna's demeanor as she looked back at me. "Look, I'm not trying to make nice with you Tiki, but I will try and... do the right thing. What do you want?"
I could, at the very least, understand Anna's intent. She was seeking to regain- or perhaps earn- integrity, something worthy of my respect. "At sunrise tomorrow, the Shepherds, Mustafa's Army, and the Feroxi Army will be departing to confront Gangrel's remaining forces. Andrew will be among the ones left behind. You will make sure that Andrew does not find some absurd way to injure himself or get kidnapped while I am gone."
Andrew groaned, shoulders drooping. "Come on, Tiki. I'm not an invalid, and I don't get into trouble that often."
Anna sighed quietly, muttering something incoherent under her breath. "Well, I was planning on leaving, because that's probably the best for all of us. Does he really get injured that often?"
"Quite," I nodded, speaking over Andrew's continued protests, "So far he has needed significant treatment after every battle he has fought in."
"And you won't be paying me for this," Anna confirmed, biting into the fudge square. Her eyes lit up, and she immediately took a second bite. "Mmph. If I can get him to cook for me regularly, I think I can waive payment. Tiki, you have got to- ahem. It's a deal, Tiki."
I took her hand and shook it, squeezing a touch harder than was strictly required. "You were going to find some excuse to remain anyways, no doubt. I will have to decline the fudge, as well- while I enjoy sweet things, chocolate is not a favorite of mine."
Anna instantly retracted her grip, expression a mask of dramatized terror. Andrew was much the same, nearly dropping the tray of fudge to the ground.
"You... don't like chocolate?" Andrew said slowly, "Are you serious?"
"I won't stand for this," Anna tutted, biting into the fudge (and speaking around a mouthful of it). "Voice of Naga, a heretic against common sense. If slapping you wasn't a fast route to a broken arm, you'd be redder than I am right now."
It appeared that I had hit a nerve.
Andrew clutched his heart dramatically, putting one arm against his forehead. "Surely not! Are you allergic, Tiki? No, we had that cocoa-infused tea yesterday. Just take a bite, Tiki- this is the good stuff. Anna, if you will?"
Anna glanced at her own square, looked to the tray, and reached over to grab a new square of fudge. There was an impish gleam in her eyes I was not entirely happy with.
I waved away the proferred sweet, shaking my head. "I must decline. Chocolate is... acceptable, but I have no desire to eat a hunk of sugar and chocolate."
"That is the exact reason I am eating this," Anna informed me, tossing the untouched square back onto the tray, "It's sugar and chocolate. Andrew, if you make this again, I will kiss you and then stab you."
Andrew went through a rainbow of emotions in just a few heartbeats. "But-"
"Trying to watch my weight and my teeth, Andrew," Anna interrupted, stuffing the last of the fudge square into her mouth. "But, gods," she groaned, "Chocolate is delicious."
And thus the bickering commenced, interrupted only when Anna had to depart- she had a job to do, after all.
It was not the reunion I desired. But, impossibly, I felt there was no other way it could have gone.
Perhaps less pleasantly, without the fudge.
()()()()()()
Author's Note:
So that was a chapter.