Author's note: Yup another A/N but this one is to do with the chapter. There is some discussion of mental health in this chapter, and I've tried to do it as sensitive as I could but also keeping in mind Remus is only 12, and this is the 70s. So there is use of the word 'crazy' directly linked to mental health. Also, I know things are really sucky right now and I want to encourage anyone who might be thinking about needing therapy to maybe look into it. There's nothing wrong with seeking help. Sending my love out to you! Also I'm working a couple days a week again so probably no extra chapter. Sorry :(

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Remus felt a lot better in the morning. His skin wasn't betraying him, he felt a lot calmer... though he felt disgusting for not being able to feel like this the day before. Still, he wanted to talk to Miss Fawley about this. He hoped he'd have the guts to! Was it because he wasn't human that he wound up feeling like that? He couldn't imagine people feeling that way. He never saw anyone reacting the same way he did. So either they didn't, and he was a freak, or they did, and he was just too pathetic to deal with it properly.

A note came in during owl mail, asking to show up to the hospital wing to see Pomfrey in the evening. He frowned at this then during lunch went by to ask if it'd be okay if he showed up after study group. He didn't want to seem ungrateful or anything, just... really wanted to be at study group as much as he could.

"I understand," Pomfrey said. "Of course, seven is fine."

The Marauders were waiting for him in the Great Hall and he partially lied to them, saying he had to see Pomfrey that evening over some blood work. Peter wanted to know if it was about the 'cure' Remus had taken before so he seized on that idea, nodding, saying that that was why he needed some extra blood work done this week. To check out if he's had any progress. He felt a little hollow as he spoke, realizing that Sirius definitely didn't look like he believed Remus one bit. James's smile looked a bit fake too... or was it his imagination?

Of course the maybe-not-real smile was replaced with a genuine as James asked, "So you won't need to go tomorrow night?" He had Quidditch practices on Tuesday evenings now and wanted Remus there.

"Um, n—not sure yet, I guess I'll see tonight," he replied with a smile. Definitely fake.

The edgy feeling came back, and he felt super nervous around his friends the rest of the afternoon. He regretted now the lies of the 'cure', seeing how stupid and rash it had been. At the time it sounded fine. Now it just sounded dumb, and made more work for him. But he also worried if he didn't add anything else then that might also seem suspicious—the same thing over and over. If he never said anything else, that would be strange. If he did, those lies could be sussed out. It was a never-ending loop of lies and fear, and he wasn't sure how to stop—short of cutting them out of his life.

Which he would do...

... ... Eventually.

/\/\/\/\/\

After study group Remus headed to the hospital wing then froze in place, seeing the three Marauders sitting outside. He ducked behind a wall, swearing quietly to himself. What are they doing there!? He peered round the corner but they were still there. They looked perfectly fine. Had someone else gotten hurt? Had they got into a fight and the victims were in the hospital wing, and they told to sit outside? Or... were they waiting for him?

Remus waited a couple more minutes then knew he couldn't put it off any longer. He took in a deep breath then went out, pretending to be startled seeing his friends.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, hugging his satchel to his chest. "Did one of you get hurt?"

Sirius smiled. "I thought we'd come give you some support."

Remus's eyes darted to each of their faces then down to the floor. "Oh, er, th—thank you. I... I don't know if Pomfrey would—would want you around. You know how she gets about visitors."

"Yeah, but you're just getting blood stuff done, aren't you?" Pete asked, shuddering. "Surely she'd let us stay for that? Ooh, you know how Muggles take blood? My grandpa's told me. They take this great big needle and shove it into your arm and suck it up."

James and Sirius both recoiled. "How barbaric!" James moaned, rubbing his arm uncomfortably.

"How does the needle get blood in it?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know, I'll have to ask my grandpa," Pete replied.

"I—I think they're hollow," Remus mumbled, wanting to point out the magic way of getting blood drawn wasn't too different; it was just a spell that poked through your skin instead of a needle. "It is just simple blood work. It... it'll probably be yucky. You—you don't need to come in or anything, it's not—"

James slapped Remus's back. "Nonsense. That's what friends are for." He kept his arm around Remus as he headed through the doors, pulling Remus along. Peter scurried next to them, Sirius following behind. Remus could feel Sirius's eyes on him. Ugh.

Madame Pomfrey was changing one of the beds, looking up, eyebrows raising when she saw Remus wasn't alone. "Um, they... they wanted to... be with me while I g—got my blood work done," he said quickly, still clutching at his satchel, trying his best to convey help! with his eyes.

Pomfrey straightened up, putting her hands on her hips. "Absolutely not."

James's arm fell away from Remus. "What?"

"How come?!" Peter demanded. Sirius just remained silent.

"This is a private appointment between myself and Mr. Lupin," Pomfrey said, eyeing the boys intensely. "I cannot bend the rules. I'm sorry, Mr. Lupin," she added which sent a breath of relief through his body that she had completely understood his expression.

"That's okay," he said, nodding. "I g-guess I'll see you later. Thanks, though."

After the Marauders left, Pomfrey took Remus into her office so she could teach him simple spells. He had sort've learned some of them the previous year however wasn't too great. He practiced these a few times, tightening bandages around various parts of his body. She made sure he knew how to clean out his wounds (not that it mattered, since he wouldn't get infected anyway), explaining there'd be a jar in the bathroom full of potion to do so; there'd also be plenty of bandages.

Pomfrey watched him as he tried to carefully tightened some gauze around his chest. "You shouldn't be doing this," she said.

"What am I d-doing wrong?"

"I meant be alone in the house," she said, undoing the gauze so he could try again. "I don't think it's safe."

"Professor Dumbledore's made his decision," Remus said rather haughtily then regretted the tone in his voice. "I'll b-be okay. I... I appreciate your... concern. I really do." He wanted to add that the sooner he learned how to be completely alone the better. I'll have my parents, he thought as he managed to get the bandages to stay put without being too tight, But I shouldn't rely on them forever. I'm sure I'll be alone at some point in my life. I need to be able to take care of myself.

She went over a few more helpful spells then sent him on his way, watching his small form trudge away from the hospital wing.

/\/\/\/\/\

On Tuesday evening he left supper early to go and wait in the fourth floor room for Fawley (VERY glad James had Quidditch practice so they wouldn't try to stalk him this time around). He paced back and forth, going over the details, running his fingers through his hair, then whirling around when the door opened. Fawley came in then hesitated.

"Remus?"

"I'm—I'm already here, Miss Fawley."

"Is everything all right?" She shut the door, going over to the couch.

He sat down next to her, wringing his hands. "Um. Maybe. I—I'm not sure." He began pulling at his shirt sleeves, tugging them down. "I—I was wondering if I c-could talk to you about... about something."

"Of course. You can talk to me about anything you want to."

Remus looked down at his hands then pressed them up against his eyes. "When you see my memories, can—can you feel what I'm feeling?"

"No, my dear, it doesn't work like that."

"Oh..."

"Why?"

He let out a sigh. "I w—was hoping to show you, instead of saying it. Okay. Um. Well. You—you remember last year... I... had to stay in the hospital wing overnight because I... I got really distraught for... no apparent reason? Madame Pomfrey called it a—a panic attack, or anxiety attack?"

Fawley nodded. "Yes, I remember that."

"I've... I just—well, I wasn't sure if—if people get that?"

She looked a little puzzled. "It would seem so. Why? Have you had another?"

Remus withdrew a little, sitting on his shaking hands. "Not quite that bad. But, kinda. Sunday—well, Saturday night I had a nightmare and—and on Sunday I felt awful all day. I felt panicked, and scared, and—and my skin felt... felt... wrong. Like, itchy, and crawly. Like it wasn't my skin. Whenever I—I had to interact with people I wanted to scream. It was like their voices were just... pressing into me. I—I don't... I don't think it's normal, is it? Like, what people feel?"

Fawley sat back, stroking her chin. "I'm afraid I don't really know much about this sort of thing. I think there are a lot of... mental issues that can happen, with varying degrees of... intensity. I think... that you... have gone through more than anyone should ever be expected to go through. I think due to your upbringing as well as being a werewolf it can be difficult for you to feel comfortable in everyday society. And... while your personal situation is rather unique, I do think what you're experiencing is something other people do experience."

Remus looked slowly up into Fawley's face. "Mental issues. So... I'm... crazy?" Loopy. Loopy, Loopy Lupin!

"What?" Fawley quickly shook her head. "No! You're not crazy. Mental issues do not equal crazy, Remus." She reached out until her hand touched his cheek gently. "That's really all you took from what I said? I think plenty of people do feel the same way you do. After all, if Madame Pomfrey told you what it seemed to be at the time it means that others have gone through it too, that she recognized the symptoms." She pulled her hand away, sighing. "You have a lot of anxiety for someone so young, though all things considering I suppose it isn't unusual. Perhaps... you should consider talking to someone."

"I... I am, I'm—I'm talking to you!"

Fawley chuckled. "I meant a professional."

Remus blinked, cold creeping through his body; he felt slightly betrayed. "I—you—you just said I w-w-wasn't crazy."

"You're not. There's nothing wrong with needing therapy. I needed it, after everything happened with me. It helped a lot. Through grieving my sister, my loss of sight, and coming to grips with the fact I married a total arse. It's... not something that wizarding society likes to think about. We can cure most physical ailments, it's not so easy to make a potion that can fix thoughts and feelings. Erase away the trauma one can concur. If you'd like I can perhaps try and find someone for you..."

Remus bowed his head, a trifle angry with what Fawley was saying. A... a sensiwitch, someone who talked to people with mental problems to help them. Someone he probably needed... but could never have, as he could never tell them the complete story since he had to keep his lycanthropy a secret. He tried to imagine asking his mother if he could please see a mind healer and wanted to laugh. He knew precisely what would happen. She'd blame Hogwarts and take him out, keeping him at home. She'd insist he was fine. Now he had to scramble to cover his butt, to downplay everything he just said!

"It's not th—that bad, Miss Fawley, it doesn't happen... a lot... I just... mostly w—was worried that this was... not..." He began twisting the hem of his shirt around his fingers, hoping she'd believe him, hoping the truth wouldn't be shown in his memories. "It—it made me feel..." Broken. "Even more not normal. If... if this is something that—that's not just because I'm a—a werewolf then... it's not so bad."

"Remus—"

"Honest," he said firmly. "I'm okay. I am. I just didn't like feeling so different. I have enough of that, as what I am, so knowing that—that normal humans have similar things to this really helps out so much. Really. The reason I was so upset is because I was sc-scared this made me even more different, but knowing that—that it's not has made me feel a LOT better."

Fawley remained silent, fingers curling around the top of her cane as she debated how to respond. "Very well. If you're sure..."

"I am," he promised, inching closer. "We—we can try my lesson now, please?"

She went through his head, frowning after seeing the memory of Pomfrey helping him the night before, then smiling at the cookies. Remus was pleased about the smile since he knew she disapproved of his bond. Perhaps she'd know if I'm bonding unnaturally or not... except he didn't feel completely comfortable with that. He didn't want to risk purposely poking at his friendships with her.

After Occlumency he went to the library until curfew, then returned to the dorms, mostly out of it until he was halfway across the common room. Then he stopped in his tracks, looking upwards. Half the furniture was on the ceiling. He blinked a few times then looked back down, twisting around to survey the rest of the room. Most the students looked put out. There were three prefects standing near the middle of the room, hands on their hips as they just stared upward. Remus cast another curious look at the furniture then, shrugging, headed to the stairs.

"Lupin!" He jumped about ten feet then whirled around in fear as one of the prefects began coming over. He was somewhat tall and a good bit muscular, which terrified Remus since he was barreling towards him. "Where are they?!" he demanded furiously.

"Wh—wh-who?"

The prefect snorted. "The Wizengamot, who d'you think? Your bloody friends!"

"Um. Wh... why?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

The prefect jabbed his finger towards the ceiling. "They did this!"

Remus looked once more at the furniture, realizing they weren't floating. They were literally on the ceiling. Sticking spell? he wondered, figuring Sirius had done it. Arrrgh, he was too drained to deal with this right now. Why couldn't they have one night without causing trouble?! "Can't you get them—them down?"

"We've tried! Whatever they did, we can't undo! Go get them. Now!"

Remus swallowed, stepping back. "If you c-c-can't do it, what makes you think—"

"NOW, LUPIN!"

Remus squeaked and fled up the stairs. Spinnet and Struthers were in the dorm, neither having seen the other Marauders since supper. Remus figured that the prefects had already checked the dorm. Bathroom? He put his stuff on his bed then went across the hall, pushing the door open to the very dark room. He glanced around then started to leave except he heard hushed voices. He tiptoed in, following the sound over to one of the shower stalls. There was a very faint light emitting from inside. He could hear his friends on the other side of the curtains and the gentle slap of cards.

Remus pushed open the curtains causing the three of them to shriek in fear.

"Merlin's beard, Remy, you gave us a heart attack!" Sirius wheezed out, clutching his chest.

Remus stepped in, shutting the curtains behind him before sinking down cross-legged between Pete and James, careful not to mess up the pile of cards or James's lit up wand. "Why's half the common room furniture on the ceiling?"

They all exchanged looks then James scooped up his hand of cards again. "Whoops," was all he said.

"Whoops?"

Pete began giggling. "It was an accident."

Remus rubbed his forehead. He had a bit of a headache from Occlumency and now it grew worse. "How do you accidentally put half the common room furniture onto the ceiling to the point where a seventh year cannot get them down?"

"Talent!" Sirius exclaimed, jabbing the air with his forefinger. Remus glared at him. "And sticking spells. Might've accidentally done the permanent sticking spell, I can't really remember."

"And the fact they're on the ceiling?"

James shrugged. "I just don't understand why everyone's upset. We're supposed to be practicing the levitation spell! Flitwick said! So, we tried to see how well we can do it. Which is pretty darn good, getting some of the lighter chairs and stuff." Remus realized then that the furniture on the ceiling had been the smaller bits of furniture, none of the bigger chairs, couches, or tables.

"Plus it—it's not half," Sirius said, leaning closer to Remus. "I'd say only a mere..." He squinted, still staring at Remus. "Mmm, third."

Remus narrowed his eyes right back. "And the reason they had the sticking spell on them?"

Sirius's lips twisted into a smile as he sat back, shrugging. "Whoops."

Remus just groaned and dropped his head in his hand. "Well, the prefects are looking for you."

"Um, yeah," Peter said, rolling his eyes. "Why d'you think we're in here?"

"We're trying to wait them out, so we can deal with McGonagall directly over this," James added. "I think we can talk our way out of big trouble if it's her."

Remus was about to say something back then heard voices out in the hall. Prefects. They were across the hall at the dorm, demanding James and Sirius. He heard something about the bathroom then jumped to his feet, quickly turning the water on. All his friends yelped as warm water sprayed down on them. "Shhhh!" Remus hissed just as the door to the bathroom flung open.

"Potter!" the prefect shouted as lights flickered on, "Black! I know you're in there! Come on then, who's in the shower?"

Remus put a finger to his lips then turned around. "Um, it's—it's me. Lupin."

"What are you doing in the shower?"

Remus crept forward, pushing past the inner curtain then cautiously poking his wet head out the outer, holding the curtain to cover his clothes as if he were naked. "Would you b-believe getting a shower?"

The prefect narrowed his eyes. "In the dark?"

Remus bit his bottom lip. "I like the—the dark. I've got my wand lit up anyway."

"Are Potter and Black in there?" He tried to look past Remus.

His eyes went huge. "P-perhaps you're in the—the habit of showering with your friends, b-but I am not."

The prefect went deep red, fury flashing across his face. He jerked just slightly as if he might just come into the shower then held back. "Watch it, Loopy. When you see them, let them know they're in trouble." With that he left, slamming the door shut behind him.

Remus stumbled back into the shower, slumping against the wall. His friends were all grinning. "Excellent job, Mr. Lupin!" Sirius said, offering his hand.

He smiled faintly, shaking Sirius's hand while James turned the water off and Peter picked up his soggy, ruined cards, a look of dismay. "I'll buy you a new deck," James promised with a giggle. "That was great."

"You know you've only just postponed the inevitable," Remus pointed out as they all began squeezing water out of their soaked uniforms. Sirius tipped his head so he could wring out his hair.

"Oh, without doubt," laughed James. "But I'd rather deal with McGonsie than a prefect over this sort of thing."

Remus sighed, shaking his head with a smile at what just happened. It would be a wonder if James managed to remain on the Quidditch team by the end of the year!

/\/\/\/\/\

Professor McGonagall waited for the Marauders outside the Great Hall when morning came. She inquired after the furniture (which had still been on the ceiling when they headed out for the day), wanting to know precisely what happened. Since most the common room had witnessed them doing this they certainly couldn't deny their involvement. So James and Sirius put on their best puppy dog eyes, pleading that they were merely practicing for Charms class and they hadn't meant for all that to happen and really, Professor, who could punish students for doing their homework? Something about their countenance got to her and she let them off with a warning and a small lecture.

"And that, dear boy, is why we go to McGonsie and not the prefects," Sirius said, slinging an arm across Remus's shoulders. "All you gotta do is cry homework." Remus rolled his eyes, trying not to smile.

"So, was thinking, lunchtime—we have got to try to get to the girls' dorm," James muttered under his breath as they went in to find seats.

Remus hesitated before sitting down. "How many points have we lost Gryffindor so far?"

"Who cares about points anyway?" Sirius asked. "Like, what are they even for? It's like grades, it doesn't mean anything."

It felt like an electric shock to his system, or what he imagined one would feel like. It took a few seconds of his mouth moving for the sounds to actually get out. "Grades—grades m-mean—that's not—what—no—no, um—what? No! Th—that's not...!"

James and Peter bust up laughing. "I think you just sent Remy into a fit," Pete giggled.

Remus was well aware his face had gone brilliantly red. "N-n-not a fit! Grades aren't—grades—you—that isn't—"

"Relax!" Sirius pat his back. "I didn't mean it like that." Remus waited for him to explain what he did mean however he didn't say, instead complaining about the prefects sticking their noses into innocent students' businesses, ignoring the fact they were not in any way, shape, or form innocent.